Do THIS When Confronted with Negative Nellies and Chronic Complainers

[@sonjalillard114]

Really needed this. I have to meet a lot of relatives during these holidays and some of them are very energy draining.

[@marionbooth8103]

Thank you Todd. Well said. I found there is another type of energy vampire. Someone who talks incessantly, especially about themself, which is all positive ofcourse. They just use you for their own purpose.

[@KristaBear]

I needed this too. Im getting so fed up that Ive lost compassion for these people

[@beachchick7688]

My boyfriend I jumped into a relationship and living together way too fast. Now 3 yrs later I have heard complaints and whining and negativity for 3 yrs. I'm a happy person. He's a huge downer....it's really messed up. Good blog on this

[@graciedays]

Hey! I’m in the same boat as you. Our glasses are half full while theirs are half empty. Have you found a way to manage it?

[@hongkonghottie]

did you ever confront him on this? some people need the hard truths

[@marthaguevaramontoya7856]

Oh Wow yes you're right. I'm dealing with a very negative family member at the moment. But I just stay away and instead go within. And yes of course, just witness whenever they gaslight around you 😁 Thank you🙏🌅

[@tommybinson]

❤ peace, courage and best wishes.

[@denisehay8895]

Thank you Todd. Wonderful advice. I used to have a neighbour who was an energy vampire and on one occasion desperation kicked in and I said 'Tell me just one positive thing in your life right now!' I don't recall her answer. I have to really watch myself at the moment because I find I'm being drawn, attracted even into negative conversations about the state of the world right now. 'Let it be'. Thank you for the reminder. The Beatles sang about that. Bless you Todd.

[@KoolT]

Observe them like a patient

[@aidanm4211]

Fear came knocking on my door. Love answered and nobody was there.

[@Thebeautifulone77033]

THIS!!!! 🎯💯‼️

[@ceewalker1133]

I get what you are saying but we all have emotions and it literally breaks me when my partner complains about everything and everyone. And it's not just the complaining it's the anger that comes with it! How can one keep calm when it's always directed at you and its loud. You will literally drive yourself insane if you ignore it or try to! Really considering breaking up with this person. I'm not happy, I've become unhappy.

[@RelaxingMusic-cd7so]

You never experienced a hard-core one in your life dail6y for years on years

[@MauriceRivers415]

I think this is the saddest thing in the world, especially for aging narcissists and parents who were horrid to their children: old age, loneliness, realizing the mistakes you could have avoided in your life, dying alone. But it makes you think: when it's your time, how will you reflect on the time you've spent? Was it worth it being so mean and nasty to people when you were younger? Did you do what you set out to do? Do you know who you are? Did you get what you wanted out of life? Was it worth it all, being so miserable and hurtful to other people, only to end up a shell of yourself and with body aches/pain? In the end, I have zero sympathy or pity for the aging/elderly narcissist or complainer. Karma doesn't sleep or forget an address, and they all eventually fade into obscurity as the world progresses and moves on without them.

[@i-Seek_YT]

A True principal (energy vampires) 😁. Similar to "birds of the same feather should flock together". You have to watch the company you keep. Negative people can suck out your positivity, but optimistic people only adds to your happiness.

[@honorahs.3262]

I wish there was a help line for negative people rather than judging or walking away. Like do you hear yourself complaining or seeing things negatively… here are the signs…and here is what to do. Neg people are caught in a void and need to find their own peace.❤

[@mritzs5142]

Todd just as I was settling in to absorb this presentation, one of my energy vampires, my main one, called. I did not answer but I reacted very much in a panic, this is my primary abuser in life , But as I listened to you, I realized even that kind of reaction, although not seen by them, is damaging to me So as I listened I learned being a witness is also being a silent witness to ourselves . I really treasure you

[@soniaangelic2437]

I'm feeling a relief after listening to your video.

[@kcdtran]

Make a statement to them so that they slowly and gradually understand that you and they operate on different frequencies of consciousness. That you and they speak different languages. That their mental/psychological computer is trying to transfer a file for which your computer does not have a compatible decoder. Use your vibes to tell them without telling them that they can go ahead and send out all these negative vibes and there will be absolutely zero receiving/acknowledging from you. I have been behaving like this at work, I talk to verbally and electronically and work with the complainers on a regular basis while quietly making my statement to them. They are water and I am wax.

[@thornethistleandtear5415]

This was the only video that actually sided with the ones that get zapped than the vampires!!!! I appreciate it so much!!!🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽💗

[@jackdavies2662]

THANK YOU TOD! I have been really struggling with my work colleagues and their complaining. I'm inheriting a medium sized business and from a handful of individuals I just get negative work attitudes and over the years it has really affected me. But recently it became really apparent that it isn't the business that's the problem as even when I fix their issues (most of which I'm grateful for because they point out where you can improve if you can deflect the negativity), they still find things to moan about. But becoming conscious of this has been difficult for myself because I'm still stuck in the thought pattern of it effecting me. This video has just resonated perfectly with me and it's what I've been reading for yours but somehow it's just got me. ♥️👍

[@tommybinson]

Brilliant advice on a dark, agonising but common situation. I have been there at work and home. It is hard not to resist negativity.❤

[@ChangeYourLife1122]

Thank you 💕 Todd, the more we react to this people, the more fuel we give them, I like to think of energy vampires as the "empty shells" , or "empty tanks " an empty tank need a fuel to keep the engine going, this applies to narcissists themselves, this people need a supply ( fuel) and supply for them can be arguments, conflicts, ect .. anything, the more we argue with them the more energy we fuel to them ❤️

[@cowtown7277]

You are doing a great job man! Thank you for your wisdom!

[@carole4448]

Thank you Todd, love it🙏🏻🌈

[@elainereader9247]

I really really needed to hear this. this is exactly what i need to learn. I will (hopefully) listen to this 20, 30, 40 or more times til it becomes my own voice. Thank you!

[@guddocta]

Thanks as always for the crystal clear explanation and solution to a problem encountered every day. Realise you are the witness

[@marisaelenenadiejamusiccom3974]

So many are down …i like being alne…dancing and smiling 😊

[@CasadeCastiza]

Exactly what I needed at this moment ❤ Thank you

[@natureisallpowerful]

Emotional vampires I choose not to let that stuff affect me now. That's their own stuff,live and let live.

[@danaanderson8000]

Yes! let their energy go right through you..Observe 🌈☀ I'm grateful for you 🤍

[@sadie4587]

This is absolutely the best advice ever!! 🙌

[@EP61]

“Observing without labeling” Thanks

[@simon1593]

It's so annoying where I keep coming across these people from the gym, macdonald's drinking only coffee and work they all really want to tell me their stories or complain errr.....wait....same thing. I have had enough of being made to feel depressed just because thier toxic. I am a happy optomisitic guy my energy is not for them !....so to keep them away music and the words. I cannot talk I'm busy have a good one is my f*** you to them. Postivity in the face of adversity is key

[@malcolmnicoll1165]

"If, after having been exposed to someone's presence, you feel as if you've lost a quart of plasma, avoid that presence. You need it like you need pernicious anemia. We don't like to hear the word “vampire” around here; we're trying to improve our public image. Building a kindly, avuncular, benevolent image; “interdependence” is the keyword - “enlightened interdependence." -William S. Burroughs

[@tracyr.l.oflaherty2597]

BRILLIANT! God Bless

[@susandeehutton]

So helpful! Thank you. perfect timing, too.❤🎉

[@MariaHernandez-bz2oe]

Thanks for your peaceful advice, spread peace and tranquility. Namaste peace friend

[@barbarablom5945]

I really needed this right now. Thank you so much, Todd.

[@stevebonder3571]

This is gold.

[@Dancievsworld]

Thank you for this video 🙏

[@brittanyann869]

I’m SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE FOUND YOU!! there is not many people (that I can find) that will think the way you do! YOU ARE EXACTLY what I was looking for when I typed in the search bar, “HOW TO STAY POSITIVE AROUND NEGATIVE people-(my partner) he’s veryyyyy EGO-driven (I know why I attracted him and how I manifested him in the past because I was on his vibration. He’s starting to come up into that “fifth dimensional way of thinking” at times because I am actually aware that my outer world is a reflection of my inner world. I am aware that I can change my reality. Just based off thinking and feeling the way that I feel. So in that sense, this was literally what I needed. (I am still working on this myself, and getting beyond the old beliefs that I once had.) I needed to figure out how to respond when he is flipping out about traffic or something petty and minor in his day. I would notice my body start to feel his energy and then before i know it, I’m back in the 3D with him. I have to stay aware so i can be where I essentially plan to be. Christ consciousness is where you are or where you’re headed and i am right there along this path with you! So i will be staying on this path you. THANK YOU! Thank you thank you!

[@brittanyann869]

I also have 3 babies UNDER 3. So AGAIN THANK YOU. I can’t even say it enough how fucking thankful I am to have found someone to help me through these tough moments. I grew up in a narcissistic (I hate using those “labeling type” of words but now you get a pic of my experience in my personal journey.) family. I have since had to move away from all of my known reality to be able to focus on what and who I really was. So I related to every video of yours I’ve watched. I spend all of my days home with babies and my husband works A lot. I also am a designer and run the creative part of our business. So learning about my demons to essentially become enlightened and be able to give my family unconditional love is my ultimate goal. ❤

[@ToddPerelmuter]

Thank you so much for the kind words and support. Grateful that it's resonating. Sending all the love and blessings your way ❤

[@renedream66]

I've had to deal with a person whose very dear to me who has had alot of trauma that she can't talk about anything without talking about it. We are talking 40+ years of pain. I'm more than happy to support but it's quite hard as I feel she isn't listening to the helpful messages I give for healing and self discovery. I agree that a person must just let an energy vamp BE and not give all our energy. 💚

[@elizabethmcmeens1436]

Todd, thank you! This is beautiful! So much gratitude! Blessings to you! ♥️🪶🧚🏽‍♀️

[@AN-ym7it]

That was a much needed advise... Thank you so much Todd... U are incredible 😊

[@Sheboss333]

💗 it brother! As always, thanks for all you do! 💙✌️🤗

[@shelleycharlesworth5177]

I think my 63 yr old partner has ADHD and if ONE thing goes wrong then everything is AWFUL. This is so exhausting. He is an expert at noticing what is WRONG. He is always a victim....this is how he sees himself and it sucks for me to see him like this. Ugh. So I have to "allow" him to "just be"? He goes on and on and on and ON...I have left the house many times just to get AWAY from him and get some peace..and this helps me calm down but if it's dark outside then I will NOT leave and so I have to endure this negativity which is depressing and horrible for ME I'm getting worn out .....agh........

[@j.m.b5441]

That is exactly what I do, I don't care about what they say, sometimes it's even funny and I even laugh at the situation.

[@ShimmerBodyCream]

Thanks for helping everyone!

[@naamashnizel]

Thank you ❤

[@Aquachick65]

On point again. Thank you 🙏❤️

[@annettejacoby1987]

So helpful your advice! Thank you so much, dear Todd! I wish you a peaceful christmas time. Greetings from Germany.

[@RhodyStarGazer4479]

Allow them to be✨

[@gregoryhariton2785]

This is such a wonderful message. ❤️ 🙏🤗 Thank you 😊

[@Geee11]

Witness without labelling… 🌟

[@lucindawilson5510]

thank you

[@balur104]

Thank you so much

[@lovebehindthescenes]

Beautiful advice ❤ thank you

[@theanicca]

Thank you for this clarity and affirmation. Curious to know your thoughts on my perspective - I have told a dear friend who is a chronic complainer that I'm not available to listen to her complaints. I'm available to help her find solutions, and sometimes I'm available to help her process, if that's what she's seeking. But I'm not able to listen to goal-less complaining or venting. She has accepted this. I feel a little mean/guilty, and I'm wondering if I'm missing something. Thoughts?

[@robowarriorluis]

Thank you so much. A really impressive perspective! ☮️🙏🏽

[@mspence0826]

What do we say when they constantly ask if you agree? I tried “going grey” and my boss keeps making negative comments and complaining and asking me to weigh in. It’s forced participation in her negative state.

[@ToddPerelmuter]

See if you can identify and drop that negative mental story about that situation and start playing with those interactions in more joyful and enthusiastic and present way

[@BeanTownBruce]

I'm sharing you to my global community!

[@username6265]

Good Advice :) have a good day

[@suuzq02]

DONT react Respond Thank you my guardian Angel Dale Tegmeier-- who came into my life for a reason WOW- the unnecessary times I wasted in my life listening and reacting to do many people all my life Thank you 😊 for this video ❤ Having a Narcissistic parent and younger sister who looks just like mom -- was like growing up on a desert ALL ALONE A mothers inner jealousy is so hurtful In Jesus Christ precious mar I forgive I choose peace love light Funny the younger spoiled brat sis decided to estrange herself from family 4 22 years Now she thinks after dad died she can control and manipulate reality

[@richardfox2865]

Vipassana is definitely the method.

[@adikeys]

Gratitude 🙏❤

[@SusanChinnery60]

Wonderful advice. ❤

[@ranvijaysingh5002]

2:26 holding the loving presence right?

[@jessicarediger1123]

totally agree - but what about when you work with this person?? I ignore her, I don't validate her, but yet she cannot enjoy peace and quiet - she HAS to fill the silence with her ailments and as much as I try it's so hard - she sucks the life out of the office.

[@ToddPerelmuter]

There is really very little we can do to change others. But, often when we change our reaction, other people adjust how they interact with you. The best thing to do when we get upset in these situations is self inquiry, such as, "Why am I really upset? Is there a way I can be in this moment and not be upset? Can I even love this moment?"

[@lykarabbit3]

I love the advice as I struggle with this with my close relatives. In practical terms though, I can't just say literally NOTHING when my MOM is complaining about the slow service at a store😅If I blank stare her she'll just keep repeating it. So my go to is naturally to raise her energy up to show how ridiculous it is to complain about it. What do I do? 🤔😁 I'm just going through your vids, thank you for them, they're exactly what the universe is wanting me to learn and improve on in this FANTASTIC journey ❤️

[@tommybinson]

Fine comment Peace, courage and best wishes.

[@marklayman8452]

Thanks man❤

[@juliaachenbaugh9094]

So, do we just avoid and walk away without commenting, do we just nod and show compassion with simple words without true feeling? I need to know how to respond exactly. I live with one currently and can't get away so simply yet. I mean, I could, but only to a situation that I don't feel is a ton better and not without a lot of conflict and feeling bad about it. It's a complicated situation for me that I'm not quite ready to leave as my boyfriend and I both live with her and she is in poor health. Granted my boyfriend has his own issues too, that I don't think he is willing to put the work into fixing, but I'm still somewhat hopeful. I do know that it's all making it very hard for me to keep doing my own growth and healing. Trying to learn to set boundaries and enforce consequences, but struggle with realizing my own worth and value fully. I'm a work in progress.

[@ToddPerelmuter]

I totally understand. Each moment may require a different response. You may need to muster all of your compassion in order to calmly say I need some space or I need to be alone for just a little bit. Other times you may be able to hold a peaceful space that neither drains you nor feeds the complainers. You just have to keep listening to your heart

[@NyQuilDonut]

I've been dealing with an energy vampire for years, and nothing has worked. I can be positive and try to lift them out of their negative mood, but it's only for that moment. They will never stop being a complainer. This guy's advice isn't bad, but it's not even possible to not engage with their negativity when they talking directly to you. The only real choices are to tell them how you feel respectfully, and hope they try to change, or run. Typically the latter is the only solution unfortunately.

[@djeanmose9719]

I need this advice

[@colinmccowan9056]

Is this tactic also the most effective in motivating a negative person to change their ways?

[@ToddPerelmuter]

It is very effective because we can best teach by example. So when we live our own truth, we help others do the same. It may be a slow process, but everyone comes to the truth in their own time.

[@path_ethics]

Wow, just realised my father (who I love) is my energy vampire. That must be why I feel so exhausted and angry when I argue with his pessimistic views. Damn.

[@BeanTownBruce]

Dude I love your message! I'm relatively new on this journey and your words are soothing to me.

[@audreysuter4315]

I disagree, by not calling out these energy vampires, we are enabling them to further target other potential victims.

[@ToddPerelmuter]

Quite right, enabling and encouraging are neither wise nor kind to anyone and not what I would recommend

[@Nshree]

🙏🙏🙏

[@richardfox2865]

Vipassana, Dude.

[@marsulgumapu2010]

So people aren’t allowed to complain anymore? Sounds like toxic positivity.

[@NyQuilDonut]

You should really take the time to understand terms you don't understand before speaking on them. Nobody's saying that you should never ever complain. Energy vampires are people who complain too much and drain you with their negativity.

[@maryseokley6061]

Games.... Include verbal abuse!

[@maryseokley6061]

So best is to just BE! Response: I hear U!

[@maryseokley6061]

Everyone goes around the track once in life, and if U don't enjoy that trip, it's pretty pathetic!

[@maryseokley6061]

A touch of folly is needed if we R to extricate ourselves successfully from some of the hazards of life!

[@maryseokley6061]

And of course..... people play a lot of games!......🌎🌟🦋🌞⭐🎶

[@maryseokley6061]

Then there is also a good read: "what U think of me is none of my business"! Apply that...

[@Meli.Just_be.]

🙏💜

[@jadepatrick7644]

0:50 profound!

[@divanbadenhorst112]

❤️🙌

[@ElisPalmer]

🌟🙏🏼🌟

[@steveos5112]

Kind of like arguing with a woman.

[@colinmccowan9056]

Or a man

[@pangeaproxima9446]

_Never argue with a woman because they're gonna remind you of things that haven't happened yet._