How to really deal with chronic complainers

Frustrated with people in your life that just seem to complain non stop? Watch this to find out how to deal with chronic complainers.
Watch to the end to get the tactics on what to say to chronic complainers.
Watch this video on the communication differences between men and women next
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[@ManTalks]

Let me know how you deal with chronic complainers in your life.

[@MirageATrois]

Ignore them. Wish there was a mute button for whiners

[@kickinbackbeingcool]

I work with a guy who's been "quitting" his jobs for 12 years. All he talks about is how unfair life is, race, religion, the government, and women. It's at a point where no one at the job likes being around him because all he does is talk about irrelevant matters and complain.

[@jasminepuermunich4351]

Hi

[@ashij2251]

Thanks✨

[@LoriBothwell]

I really want to thank you for giving me the words to say to my friend who constantly plays victim and regurgitates the same phrases every week. Ironically, I’m a recovering chronic complainer who now is attracting that same shadow from others. I feel empowered and validated by your concise wisdom. Bless you and thanks again ❤

[@shockingthings]

Chronic complainers don't want solutions. They generally never change and if you fix the problem, they just find something new to complain about. They are generally people with too much time on their hands.

[@michaelwalsh9145]

Exactly, they always want someone else to solve their problems while they constantly moan about them and if someone by chance solves one of their problems they’ll quickly move onto the next problem.

[@ChadBest-ug8uo]

They are more about the problem than the solution. Let that sink in. By solving their problem, they no longer get the attention they are seeking. By manufacturing problems, they get the spotlight on them.

[@muhamedshameer3060]

True that!

[@eveofsurvival]

They repeat the same self-defeating behavior that they complain about

[@lianasteele5259]

Yep they are narcissists because in their world everything is always about them. And they are more toxic than the problems they are complaining about.

[@theodore5511]

I am that chronic complainer you see in the office, that is why I am watching this video

[@angelabeckman9203]

I've been there too. Not on the office, but still, yeah.

[@dishappywithlife2556]

My neighbour who’ve I’ve known for 5 years now, we hang out occasionally and her life is complaining, and bitching. The only time she text is to complain, I redirected the conversation and said “Hey you must be happy to be going on vacation” this summer. She instantly went into victim mentality and gave a huge rant, the said GOOD NIGHT!” She is the definition of an emotional vampire. It’s not my job to elevate her or make her feel better, that’s why there’s therapists. She’s toxic and I’m letting her go. There is a point one needs to remove themselves from negative energy and boy I’m going to the happier for it!!

[@lisamariesmith3610]

Energy drainers. I think their inner turmoil or anger wants to monopolize your time and energy.

[@lashondaward2924]

Amen

[@OE1285]

Narcissic ppl can be energy drainers too, they abuse ppl around them and then act surprised when ppl complain.

[@skionen1781]

💯

[@michaelwalsh9145]

Exactly I’m dealing with it right now as I type, constant moaning and complaining never satisfied.

[@DexdizzleMan]

It’s not really energy draining if you either don’t engage or find the humor in how ridiculous they are, in that sense it can be energizing.

[@ChadBest-ug8uo]

I was a friend to a Chronic Complainer for about 30 years. I ended the friendship last year, and it really rewired my brain for the better. A few thoughts I have: 1. The complainer is more about the problem than the solution. They will call it "venting", but it really is not. 2. The complaining will rub off on you. You will also complain just to maintain rapport. In a sense, it becomes a "pity" party. 3. I think the Dr. made this point. The complainer DOES NOT care about your problems. They show NO EMPATHY for you. After 30 years of this....I had enough. After years of being exhausted and having my time wasted, I left. This is not what the Dr. recommends, but this needed to happen. It has changed my life for the better.

[@strangetimes5724]

It's really true that the biggest complainers RARELY give a shit about YOUR life. They typically have NO IDEA who YOU are, or anything about YOUR life. They never ask. If you start an interaction with "How are you doing?" they will go ON and ON about themselves and NEVER ask how you're doing.

[@ChadBest-ug8uo]

@@strangetimes5724 Watch their eyes when you shift from them to you. There is a disinterest a coldness.

[@Renee302976]

I have a coworker who complains ALL the time, but she gets upset with me when I ignore her 😂

[@carpenoctem775]

They’re usually the same kinda people. Annoying. They’re just looking for attention.

[@JemH1986]

I have the same thing at work! This lady complains about everything! Even the other people at work who just stand around and do nothing! If you try to talk too she talks over you! If you say something let’s say about the weather then she says no it’s not going to rain and I said yes I saw it on my phone. Then she gets angry and yells no it’s not it’s not going to rain. Then I try to say something then she cuts me off again. So annoying! I don’t need this crap!

[@katiebernauer9456]

Love your suggestion of asking “what are you going to do about it” because it really throws them when you ask them! Sometimes people are willing to help themselves and some aren’t. But love this and going to use this for those people who are chronic complainers.

[@lianasteele5259]

Yep I made a suggestion to my chronic complaining coworker just the other day as to how to deal with another co-worker she was bashing. She basically told me that she wasn't going to do anything. That's all the confirmation I needed to know that she wasn't interested in problem solving

[@K4113B4113]

Everything you said validated my own experiences with a chronic complainer. I also tried going the empathizing and solving her problems route. But it never ended. And she was going through a lot and have been through a lot of trauma in her past so it wasn't like her complaints was uncalled for. But still, it's draining and leads nowhere. In the end it got turned on me as well, where she would find reasons to ruin her mood/day from an innocent comment or action and then act very demeaning. We just recently cut contact and I couldn't be happier.

[@ManTalks]

Glad the video resonated for you.

[@bluecoffee8414]

My mom is a pathological complainer, or, a great and accurate term, "hen-pecker." She is also an interesting case study. Never worked a day in her life and by most measurements highly privileged. My father was for most people a catch: 6f3, pretty good looking, highly accomplished, even-tempered and kind to a fault. He was a way above average provider. Her 2 kids are "good" by most standards. Yet my mom cannot go 60 full minutes without bitching, bad-mouthing or complaining. EVER. The restaurant sucks or the food sucks or the waiters suck or the service sucks or the MANNER in which they take the credit card sucks or the noise of other customers sucks or the lighting sucks or there is a weird smell or it's too quiet or too noisy or the chairs suck. Rinse and repeat for EVERY situation. If she was a movie character, the director would likely tell the actress to tone it down to remain believable.

[@K4113B4113]

@@bluecoffee8414 Been there man. My dad used to be exactly like your mom. Even at expensive vacations it didn't change his mood one bit. He could snap if you spilled a few crumbs of your plate onto the table. It doesn't exactly set a good example for the kids. Even when he's not there and my sister spills something I can see fear in her eyes like she's expecting to be barked at. Weirdly enough later years he calmed down when no one expected him to. He actually seems happy now. It's really strange.

[@bubbleslovebird4974]

Same. My friend keeps sabotaging herself at every turn. Half the time the world is out to get her. I stopped helping her out after a month and told her to get her shitt together. She hasn't buy the way. The world is still out to get her to. It's like God himself wants her to fail. I have never in my life seen a person with this much bad luck in my life.

[@MariaHernandez-bz2oe]

I get it, they take all the oxygen away. It's good to move on in life. Good, healthy, move.

[@ChristineKalafus]

My father has used me as a sounding board for years, but it got worse a year ago when my mother had some significant medical issues. I've really struggled to not say, "you have to stop complaining about Mom. This isn't how you imagined your life would be? I'm sure she didn't either. Oh, and maybe ask me how I'm doing? Maybe you can be the parent?" I feel guilty about even WANTING to say this. So I've been saying the opposite. Watching this video helped me to see that it isn't my responsibility to change my father's attitude but I can change the way he interacts with me. Thank you.

[@kingasebestyen]

I just realized that for the sake of my overall health, I have to just plain and simple NOT put up with this kind of behaviour anymore! So I tell them that I am trying to think positively so that I can feel happy because I noticed that complaints and negativity have a really bad effect on me, therefore I am not willing to talk in this manner. If they don't get it, which usually is the case, then I follow up and change the subject to a good feeling one or if this does not work then I just avoid them as much as possible and whenever I interact with them, I keep the conversation short and simple, trying not to put gas on fire. This is always a great exercise for me for my self awareness because of the empathetic side of me I find myself pulled into these downward discussions again and again so I have to be very attentive to catch myself before entering their game of self pity.

[@osloyy]

I think the best thing for a chronic complainer is too just not listen to them.

[@augustaborn9034]

I ignore people that complain and have actually tried to piss them off on purpose.

[@n.m.3760]

I am dealing with a co-worker who is a constant complainer and it is emotionally exhausting dealing with this person. An "energy vampire".

[@jaynie5688]

I am evicting a young man who rents a room in my house. He’s exhausting everyone. Ex. He found a hair on a bathroom counter and photographed it. And it was his hair!

[@nairobi-farmfairy7612]

Lol! This is so funny!

[@divinegirl5670]

😂

[@93Jubilee]

Oh my lord!! That's awful. They want attention, for some deep rason that belond to their pasts.

[@cry13]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@jsssdweef]

I fucking hate those people

[@jingyanlive]

Good tip! I was just considering my options for responding to a friend who has been complaining about the same/similar issue 1000 times. Option A Validate her. Option B Give advice. Option C Ignore her. After watching the clip, I replied "Hum, so waht do you plan to do?" We'll see how she replies 😬

[@WillowmoonCrafts]

Absolutely agree I am a complainer! And I am aware and have been trying to learn how to move out of this. Being aware does not mean answers come. So sir honestly thank you

[@ChadBest-ug8uo]

I like your honesty. I complain as well and it does feel good to vent. If you truly want to fix it, be all about the solution…not feed into the problem

[@sidellesydney2192]

I needed this. Ppl gotta get cut off sometimes. If you healed and did the work you deserve to be around others who have done so or are at least taking accountability and are in the process

[@v2vvs]

I used to be chronical complainers, and all of this man is talking is nothing but truth. I was miserable back then and i don't know yet how world really works because all the thing that my single-parent mom told to me is complaint. Now when i lived by myself out of my mom's environment, i'm quite shock about how bug amount of negativity i had radiate throughout my life.

[@mawinagales8916]

I think my dad is a chronic complainer and I'm afraid that I am going down the same path. I realized that I mirror his actions a lot and that I came into the conclusion that I don't like my everyday situation with him and that it became difficult for me to handle both his complains and my complains. So, I thought to myself that if I can't help him then maybe I can teach myself how to deal with him and how not to be a chronic complainer too. So, thanks for your video, it was truly helpful and informative.

[@annemccormack2658]

I am dealing with this with my manager, I cried the whole way home from work because I was so exhausted from listening to her complaining all day after months of managing it- I really cannot take it any more and will have to get another job.

[@liangchristina7919]

same here. Good luck to us😊

[@michaelwalsh9145]

My wife is the moaner, work is great no wonder I work 12-14 hour days 6 days a week, Sunday the day I’ve off is draining.

[@elizabethkay4880]

So much truth here. I wish more people could hear this. Thank you for sharing.

[@gerardkirkpatricksanchez2121]

Man! I praise God about searching videos about Complaining. Im the person who is persistent with life. But my wife is the opposite of me. Im sad not because she complains a lot. But im sad because I don’t know how to handle her. And this video helps me. I want to learn more coz i love my wife. And i wanted her to feel that i could understand her sentiments and complains in life.

[@muhamedshameer3060]

Thank you very much for the video. Im happy that I got to see this when I'm in need.

[@slim3224]

Thank you. This is what I needed to hear.

[@ashleemoore4148]

This video was spot on. I really appreciate all the advice and I was so surprised to know that so many other people have encountered this issue.

[@lesegongwenya383]

I truly appreciate how you explained how people can become chronic complainers - that background was spot on. Mostly I enjoyed the practical advices you gave on how to deal with them so that their negative energy does not affect you

[@tessellatiaartilery8197]

Excellent video, great explanation and actionable advice for all of us: young, middle, old, women and men. Helps us try to act before we get into chronic complaints about being chronically complained at! Priceless. Thank you very much.

[@caucasianasian4111]

This was VERY HELPFUL! Thank YOU!! 🙏

[@marisaelenenadiejamusiccom3974]

The sky is falling…..with millions of dollars…hearts…sunshine…and positivity ❤️🌹🌺😆

[@craftydafty1100]

I'm a chronic complainer and I get fed up of listening to myself, no joke. And I do find it difficult to empathise with others. The simple question "what are you going to do about it?" sounds like a good thing to ask myself. I don't just complain about external factors though, a lot of it is internal stuff, frustration with myself for not taking the steps I know would benefit me, it's easier to use excuses and complaints I guess, but maybe by following your advice will be the thing I need to actually kick myself into gear. Thanks for the vid!

[@laurieweigel9526]

You validated and confirmed the path that I actually took. I didn’t find this till afterwards and we’re still really good friends so it looks like he’s actually taking care of some things on his own, but I swear to Word for Word that was a conversation that I had about three months ago, maybe four months ago so thank you.

[@roxannecalmelet5981]

This is a conversation that is soooo needed! I have been on all sides of this topic. Your honesty and empathy are coming from a good place and advice I am willing to try to save my health. Thank you!

[@ley9649]

Thank you so much for this video. 🙏

[@themakinerretrogamingisbac7005]

Good advices man, thank you

[@nancyross241]

Thank you so much for this!!

[@BBaiaman]

Thanks for your hard work; that was such a conscious and meaningful mental health video

[@Ginyamay]

Thank you so much for making this wonderful video. I’m trying to deal with my mother who is a constant complainer. This really helped.

[@MomentswithNuwanthie]

I agree with you, thank you very much for this video! 💖💖💖

[@degisner]

I was so angry after my conversation with a friend so I couldn't work well next day. But thank you for this video. You just gave me the tool to deal with a complainer friend. Thank you man!

[@mikegrantham7440]

I am currently dealing with this situation with my mother. She is so bad that it literally sucks the life out of me when I talk to her. I always dread when she calls because she is bad to keep a person on the phone for an hour while she explains every little detail of the disaster she is dealing with. She will ask me a question about it in what I think about resolving it, but then doesn't allow me to respond before interrupting. I feel bad because she lives alone, but it is just so difficult to talk to her and it affects my kids the same way. She is always asking why no one call her. I hope some of your suggestions here will help me to push her in the right direction. Though I have been doing that some already without realizing it.

[@Dopeman-ol6ix]

Dude me too! I love her and wanna be there cos it’s my mum but when she starts complaining I just wanna rip my hair out it’s like well wtf you want me to do ?!

[@pambowman3899]

I am dealing with this as well😢

[@strangetimes5724]

Excellent breakdown of this dynamic.

[@gabriellovelace3030]

I have a cousin who b*tches and complains a lot about things and to people so whenever she overly complains to me I say something firmly to her but not in a mean way so I can get her to stop, calm down, and relax.

[@cincomedicosretreats]

Nice perspective, thanks!

[@angelabeckman9203]

I loved this video. It helped me to see where I need to set boundaries with a couple people and that I need to make sure I'm not being a chronic complainer myself. I'm pretty sure I've dumped on people too.

[@marianomanto]

Had a conversation with my dad and brother about this today. I work with them, so it is exhausting. My bro ran away and my dad tried to gaslight making me think I am crazy, I am distorted, and that I should have more empathy. I have been the dumpster for their drama for decades, I am so tired of their negativity. It drains the life out of me. I want to have a happy, positive outlook on life and I grew up with these fucked up dudes who think they are above any kind of therapy.

[@ketalaliashvili149]

Its hardest when you have such people at home… having the same struggle hence i am here

[@roydeichmiller7437]

Time to find another job & home AWAY from them

[@IvicaBitless]

Have a best friend for years now consult complaining and I've only realised recently that i was exhausting myself trying to slove all his issues. Last few year or so he's gotten really bad as his victimisation gotten to the point where he down plays or devalues anything good i achieve. Really hard to share any good news as its instant "its easy for you because of ...". This video help but finding it difficult to not just walk away.

[@caseylynn34]

Thank you for this video

[@angelamorris7336]

A friend of mine constantly complains, about her stepmom, her job, her roommate, her neighbors and how “nobody wants to date her” because she’s convinced that nobody would want to be with someone with her job and body type. She’s sent me about 5 videos over the last year of her in her apartment complaining her neighbor’s music was too loud. The last one was last night and I ignored it and went to bed. This morning I sent her an audio message that said “I love you and you’re one of my best friends. And I want really good things for you and believe you can have them, which is why being a vessel for your complaints is something I don’t want to be in our friendship anymore. If you need to vent while you process a problem, I’m here to help or offer support but I don’t know what you want me to do or say when you repeatedly show me the same offense toward you. I don’t think it helps you, I think it hurts you, and the problems you’re not facing are taking over your life and bleeding into our friendship. And as your friend I don’t want you or our friendship to be hurt.” I sent the text 12 hours ago. Nothing. I just watched this video and I’m glad I saw that I did some things right. But I think it’s pretty likely that the conditions of her friendship would be that I not challenge her commitment to victimhood

[@GraceRoberson]

I think you did the right thing and in the nicest possible way. If they can't deal with your boundaries at this time than that's okay but it doesn't have to be your problem

[@FrankRS-ww7pp]

I’ve often fallen into the role of complainer. I HATE it when I do. I prayed for help in changing the situation. Am doing much better now I believe. Also I set some boundaries with the people I complained about and found that helped hugely. No point having lax boundaries then hating it when they are trampled!

[@chadmckeighan8626]

Two different energy fields (complainer vs optimist). Where focus goes energy flows.. Silence is dimensidn that exists between the complainer and the optimist. Ask the open ended question regarding what changes they would like to see in their life and than remain quiet (just as the presenter of this video recommends). Complainers often times live in the past where optimists stay present and are focused on their future. Complainers draw down like the funnel of a tornado (going into the past) and optimists raise up (hope, faith, staying present and bright future).

[@DigitalQ1988]

I needed that. I’m dating a person long distance who is exactly like that and I do exactly what you said not to do… the sad part is I know this person is exactly the way you described and I don’t think they will change because I’ve also asked them what they will do to fix the issues and they have no solution. I know for certain I need to end this relationship but I feel so bad because it’s like I’m the only thing that makes this person happy which is also unattractive on top of the constant complaining. But I’m an optimist and this person is a pessimist and it does drain me to my core. Thank you for this video it was very relatable for me and gave me further clarity on what I need to do so that I can maintain a fulfilling, positive and motivated life thank you thank you

[@mitigatedgalltv5747]

This was fire

[@safaeelarbi6783]

First video that i got about this topic and it's very important to get in touch with this point and to know how to deal with this topic. Thank u and greeting from morocco 🇲🇦

[@bubbleslovebird4974]

I know what you mean. I had a coworker who thought she was going to whine and cry about her boyfriend playing video games after work. (He played 2 hour's of games just to wine down) I lost it one day and yield at her. WILL YOU SHUT UP! NO ONE HERE CARE'S! IM AMAZED HE'S STILL COMING HOME TO YOUR WINNING AT ALL! Everyone cheared in the break room. She shut up and went home. Couple week's later she told me she went home crying and her boyfriend changed his ways. He wasn't playing as much afterwork and spending time with her more. Sometimes you just need to kick them in the pants.

[@loissemanek1715]

This is excellent. Usually the advice is just to listen. I can actually relate to what you're saying here. It becomes unrelentingly negative and unbearable. Thanks. Even if you love them or it's family they are sucking the life out of you

[@strangetimes5724]

So true. Constantly being inundated with a stream of negativity in your ear DOES affect your own energy. The drainage also starts making YOU feel negative about your own world and life. You walk away from each tirade needing a BATH. It feels like someone just shoved their crap down your throat. It is, in short, a method of DUMPING on us when someone (who has decided to NOT correct their own thought patterns) chooses to dump all of that crap onto another person. And trying to persuade them to see things any differently than they do, (let alone take any corrective ACTION) does no good. They are ADDICTED to a negative life, negative outcomes, negative and destructive thoughts and actions. In short, they are addicted to being a victim of life, the world, other people, etc.. And they LOVE the chaos (and the consequence loss and failure) of thinking and ACTING in a negative and destructive manner. These types cannot be "saved" from their own choices, which are fueled by their own negative thoughts. Almost everyone I know with health problems, and/or problems in business, are people I can EASILY SEE have caused their own dramas via their CHOICES.

[@essrakhalid202]

This video is amazing it helped me alot

[@dianewatkins2988]

Thank you for the tool! It’s important to know ‘how to deal’. My person is always complaining and it’s exhausting! I make his coffee, breakfast before he gets up in the morning, make him dinner as soon as I get home, do his laundry, fold and put way. I put a fresh towel out for him every morning in the bathroom and yet .. he complains if his towel is not there or that I lost one of his socks. Nothing can be right for him and it’s hurtful. If I don’t do any of those things, he complains. I can’t win… yet he says he will try and do better and it never happens. Then I shut down. I don’t want to do that. As a people pleaser, he met the match but in reality, I need to learn how to set those boundaries and help him get over his chief complaints in life. He’s a good person and has strong family core value yet, compliant, complain, complain!!!

[@grandbleutrev]

Yes thank you, this has been very useful. I am in a relationship, married actually, to a chronic complainer. I know she had trauma in her early life but really there is only so much you can take from a chronic complainer. I have tried to be empathetic, sympathetic but that just encourages it as you see. I have had to just isolate myself from her and ignore the complaints. Because I have children and grand children at my home. I cannot think about divorce, so myself and the family just have to put up with it. Interesting your comments about how to deal with it. Thank you very much. Good speech

[@frankiewylde7649]

I had this exact situation with a long time friend, who kept talking about all the problems he had with women, and one in particular. But really--every woman--he would be with, took the spot of complaint after complaint after complaint. I fielded it for a while, and used empathy, but it started to color our relationship. I would realize that because I gave him an outlet for the complaining, it became the standard in our interactions. After a while of receiving phone calls where the complaining just started from the very first greeting, I chose to have a literal exact conversation as Connor described towards the end of the video. "listen, dude, I love you but seriously I feel like i'm being used as an emotional pillow, and it is affecting our relationship. It makes me not want to hang out with you anymore." After that, we went a few months without talking, but when we spoke again he did ultimately thank me because he said I was right - I am not his therapist. so these conversations do pay off-as hard as they are to have. He has been much more respectful since, but I still stay vigilant, and make sure to respect my own serenity.

[@OluwabukonlagraceGrace]

I am the complainer myself but i worked on it last year and my negativity stops. But now it is coming back since i start happening adin and i just notice i am acting like a victim which is bad my life. Thanks for this video it really snap me back to reality

[@kristenbennett8495]

My mom is a chronic complainer still is to this day, didn't even realize I do exactly what she does until my boyfriend pointed it out

[@zynlove6867]

I am an empath and live with ASD. I could complain about my woes but choose not to. When I encounter these complainers who dont want to resolve their complaints it really turns me off. The friend who doesn't work lives with mom and dad sits around for all but 3 hrs a day and is sooo tired. I appreciate the advice at the end that you told your friend. You can't continue like this. I cant either I absorb too much of other's emotions to put myself in this environment. Blessings ❤

[@erikaarnold4780]

Fellow empath. The drain is real. Being an empath, it usually isn't too hard to understand WHY are like that at times, and I try to be patient. But I am ADHD myself....it becomes PHYSICALLY painful...

[@judithscheepsma2073]

great advise

[@user-oz7nw9sq7y]

This really helped me THANK YOU!!! I need to break up with a friend TODAY! Her friendship is bringing me down.

[@maxreaper25]

I searched “how to deal with complainers” and found this. In my experience, I’ve seen characteristics of the chronic complainer but a full fledged chronic complainer wouldn’t survive around me. Or maybe that generous to say because I know for sure i wouldn’t survive around them. I don’t pacify myself or passively allow a chronic complainer to do what they do best. That being said, I do see symptoms of what’s been described in greatly in some of the people closest to me and I wanted to know how yo better handle those situations so I can be considerate of them and where they might be coming from because living in complaint is a foreign idea for me. Looking more into it I absolutely have experienced these emotions and usually they come and then they go. I found sometimes our actions will lead someone to complain or search for a problems, but my experience has shown for one, if you see someone complain about everybody, know that you are next, slow cooking in the oven marinating and bathing in what feels like the role of “help” but you are actually perpetuating the problem and sadly when they eventually turn on you, because nobody is perfect, especially to the complainer, it will hurt, you might feel betrayed, but most importantly you cannot control how your actions influence the manifestation of emotions. For example, I might step on your foot and make you angry and you might want to complain about that, but if you are angry and punch me in my face for stepping on your foot, I was responsible for your anger, I was not responsible for your anger influencing your fist to ball and find momentum in the direction of my face. You hitting me was your decision after what I did made you feel a way and people generally try to attach ownership of each decision after the initial emotion to the emotional trigger and that is where accountability fades and complaining finds iron legs to stand on. Be wary and be brave and always act in love. If you lived the life they lived you might act the same way, so have grace because who knows what life will throw at us? Let’s be considerate, cautious, and always a respected of others but most importantly ourselves.

[@Special-keiran1994]

I be honest, this some me up. A bit eye opener for me.Great video btw.

[@seanwoods1100]

Beautifully put I can recall a conversation I had with my mother being a chronic complainer and I was challenged with the exact same question. What am I going to do about it She told me to get off her phone line and call her back when I have a solution in place

[@Woadocean]

Great question big w

[@TheEpicPlace]

Thank you.

[@kingjayp93]

My older sister is the GOAT When it comes to complaining I just straight up ignore her because I don’t have time to argue with her

[@carmenluckett2359]

Thank you for this video. My situation is that I work closely with my best friend. We are both in management and she complains about her work load. She says,”you all know I’m in the department by myself.” We are nurses! We cannot wait in her! I’ve offered all the things you mentioned. I just had to hear it from someone reportable. Just like you said she ran from a solution and then immediately stated she didn’t want to talk about work. It’s draining me because I like my position and I take nursing very serious. She just cry’s and blames everyone else

[@tiffszo]

AMAZING VIDEO

[@rainsowon]

Thank you very much ♡

[@suziedickinson6202]

I find that when I ask the chronic complainer in my life how he can solve his issue himself, he gets very defensive and tends to victimise himself even further. He will often find ways to manipulate our interactions so that he can play the victim. Personally I've never found a way to help or advise him in a way that he will accept, so I have gradually learned to detach myself (as much as I can at least) from needing an outcome or a fix for the situation myself. This does help me in some ways, but it takes quite a lot of energy to not get sucked into his negativity, and so I often have to try and find ways to recharge away from his company, which is sad for the both of us. But it's worth mentioning that he's not a 'bad' person or doing it on purpose, he just can't see himself from another perspective, which is a common predicament.

[@MellyGats]

Your chronic complainer sounds similar to mine. It's very difficult. I'm not going to abandon this person, but I don't think I have any choice but to create a bit more distance.

[@williammorris7895]

My neighbour is about to get a dose of 'screw you'. Over the past year they have complained about so many things. Each time we've stayed calm, listened to their side, and made big efforts to rectify the problems (even when they've not always been reasonable). To explain my opening sentence, I've now run out of patience trying to please them. For things like noise, we've always waited several hours past the legal time, and then stopped work earlier in the day. Now I'm just going to do as I please, within the law. So, by being "chronic complainers", I'm now going to treat them with less respect than I would anyone else, and won't hesitate to jump on a chainsaw at 8am (earliest legal time where I am). They've made it worse for themselves by trying to dictate how we live our lives... So, "screw you!"

[@kerrysingh5021]

Good advice

[@jz5005]

Good to reinforce this. I wonder if the questions you recommend will work, without also pausing contact, given you had asked the guy those same questions before doing so.

[@roboticroom7283]

nice lecture. i had experience with chronical leer and complainer 'friend' who try to use you every way and plus backstab you...

[@robinagaines6388]

I have used this technique and it works! I say if you come to me w/ the complaint you also have to come to me w/ the solution or don’t come to me at all. I said it kindly and consistently. It works! Either I hear from them differently with a different perspective and they finally grew out of that segment of their life or other constant complainers have moved on. Peace to you all ❤

[@myshowsanchez]

Suggesting responsibility 💪🏽💪🏽

[@snana9665]

My mom is that chronic complainer. She happens to live with us (she’s in her 80s). It hurts my health, and I catch myself murmuring, too. Her complaining has caused my siblings to cut ties with her completely. She complains to us about everyone else, and then goes and complains about us to other people. It is exhausting. I feel like I’m complaining right now, geeesh

[@user-sd1ln9ro9z]

I found this video after an episode with a college friend. It was someone I hadn't spoken to much in 5 years and then suddenly requested a last minute dinner and dropped a tornado of problems and for the finale, shared a health issue. If it were me, I would have waited after we left the restaurant but this was done before a 150 bill came. I felt so guilty, I just paid for it. I feel like I was used and manipulated and so angry at myself for getting sucked into this.

[@LyriqMorris]

Wow I do this and my daughter also we need to work on this

[@user-fp1st3zt8e]

You GOT THAT RIGHT JUST COMPLAINT ABOUT EVERYTHING REPEAT THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER I DON'T WANNA HEAR NOTHING ABOUT YOUR BILL'S OR YOUR PROBLEMS YOU ARE HURTING INSIDE

[@cressidaaaaa]

I am the chronic complainer and I mostly it’s about dealing with coworkers and managers or being in multiple situationships with men that never valued me when people are extremely rude. I complain and it’s taking a toll on me because I noticed that people don’t like to be around me or keep the conversation very brief or they’ll talk to me at work when they need help to learn something.. this also causes me to complain more 😔. I want to learn how to stop caring so much and stop complaining. My sister never complains and let things roll off her back and I really need to learn how to be like that

[@Private_Pookie]

This literally my experience 10 mins ago with my childs mother. Complaining bout our 4 year old not wanting to clean her room. I swear i never have any of the problems that she says she has with our daughter. She complains tirelessly

[@HermeticSuperstars]

Love this have them other people

[@chocolatechipwookiee7583]

I am dealing with this with my grandmother. I had to move in with her due to financial reasons. She just constantly complaints and it's starting to seriously affect my mental health andmy outlook on life. I don't know what to do because I am unable to remove myself from the situation. Besides, I don't see her ever overcoming this behavour as it is so deeply rooted in her. We tried a therapist but she claims they were no good. I just came from a trip abroad and when she first saw me it took 10 minutes of complaining about her problems first before she asked me if I had a nice time :(

[@suneelrana100]

Quality

[@AndrewReevesArt]

I got about as much need for chronic complainer as I do more taxes

[@erickanorris567]

I have relative that seems to only relate to people by complaining about other people and gets angry if you don't trash the current subject.I have learned to give no energy to this , take no action and have learned which other people I know who are like this and just let the relationship fizzle out.

[@texasholdem2209]

Please, what camera are you using on your video?

[@bonnielizarraga7941]

I walk away now my life is Difficult but I always try to paint a positive picture and be grateful for the good things in my life when people complain to me constantly and makes me feel drained and then angry and no matter what I say she comes up with a different problem I give up

[@Jayce-yw7tn]

This Perfectly describes my mom xD

[@mylittlesongbird1]

My neighbor needs some help with some things and asked me to help him. Im happy to help but I m an empath and he is a compainer. I just walked over to hand him something and he managed to complain about a major topic in under 2 minutes and my anxiety is at level 7.

[@colettefackrell7349]

I have a bf who chronically complains. Granted, he is in a lot of pain physically as he suffers from frequent migraines as well as irritable bowel and abdominal pain. His quality of life is definitely very impacted by this, but I've gotten to the point after dating him several years where I've just about had enough. I have been incredibly supportive emotionally, sometimes just to hear him vent and other times to try to offer suggestions. Every time I have a suggestion or potential solution he has a reason why it won't work or why he's tried that already and it didn't work. I love him very much and we are very close, but I am myself going through some shit right now including menopause and I just don't have the emotional bandwidth I had a year or two ago. I don't want to cut him out of my life and am not sure what to do anymore.

[@audreysuter4315]

Has he tried the carnivore diet?

[@colettefackrell7349]

@@audreysuter4315 He can’t eat red meat as he finds it very hard to digest and it can cause him a lot of pain

[@erysilva5808]

Wao i deal with an individual that does not listen ! I’m convinced he’s aware ,he just wants to hear himself speak! I never seen a so called educated person and complaint about pensil s , a stapler and erasers

[@wimplo226]

I feel that my bf often feels I am a chronic complainer and I felt bad so i took on therapy. He always told me I am just a pity party but after talking to my therapist he said all my complaints are valid , I am logical, and that they are situations I have no control in but I could improve in communication. I am the type of person to complain with solutions because i want these things resolved I don't like things being unfinished, I'm a timely person, and I don't like being a failure. If I try something I have a whole checklist to see if I would be able to resolve it the only variables I can't control are the other people involved. I honestly felt my bf could do better and I have done my best in communicating with him about these things. For example, his mom asked me if I had larger family members like myself. I felt that was extremely disrespectful and my bf just said to give her leeway since she was drunk. Afterwards even now my bf's mom bring these things up all the time. I myself have confronted her that I thought it was rude but she ignores me. His dad even told him that there were plenty of fish in the sea thinking I went out cheating on my boyfriend in Vegas for my younger sister's wedding. I felt it was easier for my bf to just ignore me about the issues than to acknowledge the complaint and talk to his parents about boundaries. Ironically when I became long-term unemployed as a college student going into my bachelors I couldn't afford to help his family purchase things for their house anymore, and thus my boyfriend began complaining. I spent my money on groceries, cleaning supplies(during the pandemic), and other needs for their home like masks or a new dish rack. I didnt pay rent but I bought almost everything for them, replacing even things from 15-20 years ago just because they got comfortable and didn't want to do it themselves. His parents are gambling alcoholics so it was a nightmare cleaning up after them literally hours after I had just cleaned the house. I \ took care of his parents when they were hungover, took my boyfriend's aunt to the e.r. many times over the span of our 3 year relationship, taking my boyfriend to the e.r. And my boyfriend was complaining just because he had to help purchase some cleaning supplies or replenish our shampoo. It dawned on me how un appreciative my boyfriend and his family was of me. Reminds me of why i left my own family, hadn't seen my dad in 2 years and only thing he could say to me was to come back home to clean. Yeah my bf thanks me just because I asked him to but he doesn't acknowledge the time and dedication i have for his family for them to just shit on me. I wouldn't care about any of this sh!t i did for him and his family if only they actually were respectful and appreciative of me. I am hoping that by the time I finish my bachelors in Computer science all this will be a thing of the past and resolved once I get a job I am leaving my boyfriend if that doesnt hapen. I've already let him know I am going to pay him back for paying $300 dollars of my bills each month until I get a job. He had been paying since March of this year working a 60k salary job for a year after he was hired as an apprentice by some big tech company. He has no bachelors and needed no qualifications to become an apprentice he was just lucky enough to get the job. I am currently ahead of him in classes for our bachelors in computer science his excuse is that he had been working but honestly in the first 6 months he worked there he honestly didn't do anything at all, all he did was play games since he works remotely. He didn't even complete his training and certs so honestly he is just using work as an excuse. I was actually almost 2 years behind him when we decided to go back to school and that was less than 2 years ago. I caught up to him and then some while doing all of our chores at home by myself. He doesn't help me with any chores because he feels like he doesnt need to since he is making all the money. We share our room together and he works in there as I study, he can pretend like he is doing more but i see everything he does even if i wouldn't care less to.

[@madhurij2919]

@ManTalks There was this girl who would come home and talk crap about her boyfriend who was my neighbour and I thought she was really struggling as she told me how her relationship was one sided etc and how she’s doing most of emotional labour. I could see her frustration, resentment, and exhaustion. The first couple times when she came home, I entertained her but then I realised it was becoming a routine.. and she wasn’t interested in finding a solution. So I set a hard boundary with her. I said we could talk about anything other than your boyfriend because it seems to me that you’re not interested in finding a solution and it’s a waste of my time to discuss about something that I can’t help you with. And that woman completely disappeared from my life after that. So much so she started avoiding me :) So.. when I spot a chronic complainer, I either explain how I’m not equipped to help or that I am willing to help if they can specifically tell me what they need help with.. I try to get them from the discussion and venting mode gently to the problem solving mode. I do the same with myself too when I spot myself complaining needlessly lol

[@happygal1974]

lol, I am a chronic complainer about work. When thing doesn't went my way, I complain. I complain why some people are slow why company doesn't change on strange process. I complain about people who don't work with me..