Does A Sex Addict Know How To Love? | Do They Love Me? | Dr. Doug Weiss

[@teddyrose1420]

I feel like every time he told me he loved me , it was a lie . I'm not sure if he is capable of loving anyone .

[@DrDougWeiss]

It does feel that way. He can be both addicted and love you. Hopefully he chooses recovery and proves he loves you.

[@johngrepo9976]

Im sorry you went through that. I hope you find someone who will love you as close as you wish

[@teddyrose1420]

@@johngrepo9976 Thank you so much for your kindness , but I think I have given up pretty much . He refuses to see Doug Weiss , because of the lie detecter test , and lost count on how many affairs he has had .Even gave me an STD , and he picked up ring worm from one gal . I have slept on the couch now for over 2 years , and really don't want to be touched anymore .He does not emotionally attach to anyone , and anymore I just feel empty ..

[@johngrepo9976]

@@teddyrose1420 im so sorry. Im hoping that 2021 will be better for you.

[@teddyrose1420]

@@johngrepo9976 You are so very kind , thank you ,😊 I wish you a happy new year as well . Also thank you for the smile you put on my face , I didn't know that I could still smile .Blessings to you .

[@ThePossumone]

I think the question is: what is love? When you love someone you have to put them before yourself often, sacrifice for them, don't do things you know will hurt and harm them, don't abuse them, be kind for them, in some ways, lay down your life for them. Sex addiction, affairs, emotional or physical, do not come under the banner of LOVING someone I am afraid.

[@footprintsinthesand2009]

This ☝️

[@rebeccachesham2225]

It is important to define terms, like "love", as well as definers' world view. A person who has a sexual addiction loves themselves, and protects their addiction, over whom they have committed to cherish and honour before themselves. The fruit of ones love is obvious, in whom they protect at all costs, and whom they are willing to step over to meet their needs.

[@ceecee6378]

That’s right! After nearly 30 years and 3 children, my husband is a runaway filing for divorce, taking 2 children in an effort to hide his sins and make me out to be bad cop. This is not love, it’s psychopathy. I’m crushed he’s that guy and worried for my kids he’s alienated from me. Haven’t seen them but twice in 3 years! He’s using them as pawns.

[@karenKristal]

I think if an addict says they love you, they may think they do, but I dont think its real

[@jaguarrose7022]

I am curious what definition of "love" we're using. After 12 years of infidelity, deception, emotional abuse, gaslighting and secrets. After making me feel crazy and stupid, making me believe his actions were my fault... where is the love? What's a polygraph mean when you're dealing with a compulsive liar? Someone so committed to their lies that they start to believe them. I refuse to accept that version of love.

[@DrDougWeiss]

Addicts can love their spouses/partners but this love isn't a mature one. Like I explained in the video, addicts act from an object reality view (where people have no value, there are no rules, and there are no consequences for them) instead of a relational one that you have. What he did is not your fault, those were his choices. If he chooses not to change, that is his choice and on him. I would suggest counseling so that you can get healing from this. You can also join our Partners phone group and Facebook group for support if you'd like. www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/ facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/

[@jaguarrose7022]

@@DrDougWeiss Thank you for responding. I have had difficulty finding a therapist who shares my values. I've had sessions with 3 different counselors/therapists in the last 12 months and they have all said my husband isn't going to change and I should leave. We were in couples counseling with our pastor for 6 months and my husband lied the entire time. When the sex addiction was first discovered I attended S-Anon meetings for a few months but stopped. On the advice of the most recent therapist I dialed into one last night but I'm not sure I'm onboard with their philosophies. I will continue to search for answers but I'm losing hope, I'm ready to be done.

[@KittyMeowxxx-s8r]

I’m in so much pain every second of every day 💔

[@pamthompson694]

🙏

[@cloudy1494]

It doesn't seem like it now, but things will get better. Praying for you. I understand the pain...

[@kateOlshefski]

me too.

[@BeingErikaWhite]

If a husband is constantly emotionally and or physically cheating… but says he loves his wife, and doesn’t want to leave her, is that possible sex addiction? It’s not so much pornography involved, it’s just girlfriends, flirting a lot and several affairs. Is this possible sex addiction?

[@tthomas]

How are they able to carry on multiple in depth relationships not 1 night stands but FULL relationships, meeting affair partners families, being father figures to other people's children and have entire family at home....

[@shenanigansyo7591]

I loved him so much! And still do. He passed away 3 months ago and I’ve been so hurt but you reminded me of the addiction part. I know he loved me, I just know it! But the people he slept with (including friends and family) knew he was married to me… how could they?.

[@shenanigansyo7591]

How can I form relationships again?

[@DrDougWeiss]

The people he was with are broken people. To better understand his and their operating system, I would get the DVD "Unstuck". You don't have to be in a relationship again, but if you do have boundaries. www.drdougweiss.com/?product_cat=&s=married+and+alone&post_type=product

[@EnesDeljanin-u6l]

This is good for you sorry to say openly but hear what I mean and you will understand me. You now know your family member or more are a back stabber to you and never trust a breath or a bodily twitch from them in your presence as being innocent to you in your presence . Another is you know who your friend or more is truly a friend to you or just keeping close to you to get to their goal even if it hurts you because they have no feelings for you. Now that we know who is a danger to our well being we adjust by removing them from our life completely.

[@sissysp8924]

It’s conditional love not unconditional love I have always felt this. 23 years together 19 years married 2 kids together. I know he does it with his eyes daily. I don’t cheat 23 years same man. I am 52. It’s sad and hard. Thanks for sharing ❤

[@Thetruthwillsetyoufreejn832]

How long does it take for a 60 year old guy with 40 years of addiction to become sane? It’s been 8 months that he’s been clean, (he says) and the last 29 days he’s so angry and takes it out on me. I don’t who’s much more I can take. I had thought his attitude and anger was because of his chronic pain, and it was the addiction instead.

[@DrDougWeiss]

He can take a polygraph to verify if he is clean. If he is in a group and if you are in a Partners group, it could help you two since you would have support and guidance.

[@wildfree4598]

Dr. Weiss, you did mention sex or porn addicts are spiritually immature... But I feel like I'm spiritually active and more grounded than I've ever been since my previous years but still this addiction doesn't seem to go away.. Infact its the only aspect of my spirituality I can't seem to defeat and its leaving me with too many questions about myself.

[@DrDougWeiss]

Spirituality is in relationship, not just information. You can grow any area you are intentional about. I would have a daily male accountability partner to get honest with about what you are feeling prior to acting out.

[@wildfree4598]

I really fear sharing this problem with anyone because I think the shame won't go away for long... But after considering your suggestion I'll give it a try.

[@NWATransplant]

You need an accountability partner who is also a sex addict...but in solid recovery. Look up Sex Addicts Anonymous. They have groups in person, on Zoom, and on the telephone. You can get a “sponsor” there. You can be in a full, wonderful recovery the rest of your life...IF you want it. Good luck!

[@pennylanekane]

@@wildfree4598 if you can expose yourself (sorry for the pun) be vulnerable with others it might allow you to be vulnerable with yourself. Shaming is not always detrimental. Through shame we can learn what makes us feel bad about ourselves. Acknowledging the shame but not stewing in it is difficult indeed, but after shame comes the will to not repeat the same mistake. What I told my husband was.. if it makes you feel bad, maybe the short amount of pleasure you get is not worth the guilt. I put it simply this way remember when you were a kid and you did something wrong.. your parents would give you a lecture and you would feel like you disappointed them.. you would then do your very best never to disappoint them in that specific way ever again..the same with each passing scenario when you would get in trouble and thus get another lecture, well now your not parented because you’re an adult. You have disappointed yourself. So the only person who can give a lecture is you internally. You are now your parent. You are now the disappointed party. So if you keep letting you down. What type of relationship will you have with yourself? At first he was upset when I said this. He lashed out(anger issues). He felt I was belittling him. He states that I’m more emotionally intelligent then him. Later that week (takes some time for him to process his feelings) he told me he never really thought about not having parents anymore. He said it’s not like their dead but that I’m right they don’t parent him anymore. Truth be told they didn’t really parent him well, but he was able to relate to that example and we now call it re-raising. I think sharing your shame with someone else is very liberating. You can only fill up your bucket so much until it spills and makes a mess anyway. I truly hope you have nonjudgmental support. I have a deep resentment for the industries that contributed to these compulsions. I hope all who struggle with this find strength to hold themselves accountable and set boundaries on tv, websites, phones, and their daily life to fight this addiction and remove the temptation on the journey to healing.

[@ZGoldenLeaf]

I know he loved and loves me. He had childhood trauma and cheated when drunk and emotionally unstable because he went through child abuse, homelessness, being without papers, refugee and jobless etc.. throughout he hid all from me and instead suffered in silence. He doesn’t know why he did what he did because he says he never felt pleasure.. I feel like the pleasure part is a lie because how can you keep doing what you did when you don’t feel pleasure. In a total of 12 years he cheated with random women 7 times. All of them were when he was intoxicated due to his pain to numb his pain. But that means he felt pleasure from those sex to give it to his pain? I’m just so confused… and hurt

[@CarrieTeeter-h4s]

How can I forgive my husband of over 30 yrs of having prostitutes? We are now divorced but I still can't forgive him

[@Alay129]

I‘m currently pregnant 8 months and just found out my partner is cheating on me our whole relationship. He tells me I’m the love of his life and he wants this family so bad but in the same time he’s consuming pornography every second he finds time and is sexting with over 100 women on different platforms, even having digital relationships, he’s not mentioning me or the child, selling himself as a single man or saying he’s in an of off relationship with me. He signed up on sex platforms to connect with other couples to have threesomes and to find sex party’s that he can join. How can somebody go so far expecting a child ? This hurts so much! Now we broke up as the pain was to much especially while being pregnant. No one deserves that, especially not the woman you love ...

[@katvioletx]

So sorry to read this how are you and your baby doing now?

[@MelanieWard-ni1em]

That's really awful what he did to you. He has a bad sex addiction and only until he admits he needs help will not get better. I hope you are doing much better now.

[@blazer6262]

But what is his definition of love? What does he mean when he says he loves? Does he mean I love having sex with you? I love using you?

[@EnesDeljanin-u6l]

People and surroundings manipulate a persons sex addiction. It's professed on television ,radio , magazines ,internet ,in person as a norm. Just like eating candy. Even talking too much of something makes one an addict in that topic. Listening to peoples sex addiction brings an innocent individual into that realm and want to experience it for themself evidently. It's realizing consiquence that brings the individual out of that situation only. When they are caught and say sorry , they are only sorry to themself for being caught or it's part of their fantasy to see can they live with an open relationship to have other lovers in their life together . Their is many angles of view to observe that it becomes a quagmire to understand . It just becomes a porn novel for the examiner to perforn the same acts themself swimming in a dirty pond of desires making the swimmer dirty as well. So the phsycology doctoring is most an act . Its action of going in a better direction is what counts ,not listening to porn desires of people repeat over and over again.

[@1clay_vessel]

They are lying to themselves. Love doesn’t repeatedly hurt someone, with the same behavior.

[@helenm1336]

I am thinking about leaving my boyfriend of 8 years he claims he is in love with me, but he continues to cheat. He just recently admitted he has a problem, but I don’t feel like he is serious about getting help. I asked him when will he call and set up a counseling appointment…his response was I don’t know. I love him more than I have ever loved any human being. What do you suggest I do?

[@DrDougWeiss]

If he is not motivated to heal, the behavior and pain will continue. Your love can't fix him. If you want to get cheated on again, then stay in this relationship. Regardless of him, you have been experiencing Partner Betrayal Trauma, but you can get healing and support for yourself. We have a Partners of Sex Addicts phone group and Facebook group you can join for support. You are not alone in this. www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/ facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/

[@khathao137]

When I found out he was having porn and sex addiction, he stopped telling me he loved me. Every time I confronted him about cheating, he pushes me away and tells me he doesn’t love me or want to be with me. He tells me to move out of the house. Does he really mean what he says or is it his addiction that is speaking?

[@DrDougWeiss]

It's not possible to discern which one without an evaluation. Regardless, I would believe him until he starts a recovery process. The pain you have experienced from this is valid. We have a Partners of Sex Addicts phone group and Facebook group you can join for support. www.drdougweiss.com/groups/partner-groups/ facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/

[@beastlifestyle163]

Sex addiction is not the person choice and we need to understand their situations as well

[@glenda8092]

Hello Dr. Weiss Do Sex Addicts know how to "LOVE?" I keep on telling my husband that he LOVED the prostitute that he had an affair with for approximately 10 years. He says he DID NOT LOVE HER but that it was lust, arousal, etc. Thank you for all your videos. They are not only insightful but somehow make sense of alot of things especially for me as the Betrayed Partner. Sex Addiction is so hard to understand and come to terms with.

[@hatcheck100]

I am a sex addict but I’ve never cheated. I just can’t make my relationships last. I spend a lot of time depressed feeling very alone until I find someone who will use me . I’m not sure I can Love . I’m very sad I can’t have a long term partner. They last about 2 years and fizzle out . I’m 58 and have never lost my sex drive.

[@DrDougWeiss]

Thank you for sharing your experience. Sex addiction can affect relationships deeply, even when infidelity isn't involved. It's pretty common for sex addicts to experience depression, loneliness, and low self-esteem, which of course, make it hard to build lasting, meaningful connections. It is possible to love, even if you've struggled with a sex addiction. Regarding the depression that you have in relation to the sex addiction, I have a KZbin video that explores this issue that might give you some insight: kzbin.info/www/bejne/kJulmayKiLJpbqs If you haven't already, you can get support for yourself and start working through these issues and find healing for yourself. At Heart To Heart Counseling Center, our therapists specialize in sex addiction recovery and can help you to address the depression as well. Contact our office at 719-278-3708 to begin your journey of recovery and truly move forward in life.

[@kins1332]

Dr. Weiss, quick question. What if the spouse has their own sexual trauma that leads them to wanting to watch porn with their partner who is addicted to porn and masturbation? But also is hurt knowing their partner struggles with porn addiction?

[@workingmanscrypto]

I just met a sex addict. We hit it off Amazingly. She was in a almost sexless marriage for more than 30 yrs. For 2 yrs. She has gotten really crazy. Since I just met her, even though we are like two peas in a pod. (No sex yet by choice) she’s coming back to my town after only three weeks back home just to visit with me and stay at my place. Can’t help but ask myself if I should even bother.. Great person but I have to wonder if she’s even capable of a real relationship anymore. I understand sewing out after a divorce 38 years of marriage but the things I’ve already heard it seems that she may have a doctor days as personality traits at this point, and no longer fantasy. Appreciate any input.:)

[@toddmauger]

Hello, I am married too a woman who has had 50 affairs and I just learned she has been meeting with a group of gents and another 8 year long affair. I feel the time has come to move on however, your video said she maybe broken. How do I go about getting help and find out what exactly is going on with her. I am not sure I understand her issues not how to proceed and help. Thank you in advance for your assistance.

[@DrDougWeiss]

This sounds like a sex addiction. If she is not willing to get help, it will get worse. She can do quarterly polygraphs to verify she is not contacting other men or having sex with them. Your pain and trauma from this is real and I would get counseling. If she wants to do an intensive or counseling with us, call 719-278-3708.

[@donnasimmons2241]

I usually agree with everything, but Dr Weiss you have this one wrong. When you love someone you NEVER hurt them, lie to them, disrespect them, replace or degrade them . Love means being honest and faithful. So if a spouse has cheated and/or been addicted to porn for years they definitely do not love their wife. You may label their feelings with many things like appreciation, dependency, friendly, compassionate or any other word you want to use, but it is not love. You cherish something you love, you don't destroy it.

[@katemaas8175]

I think something I struggle with understanding, if the person who claims to have a sex addiction issue, actually has a sex addiction issue or if they are using sex addiction as a cover for their behavior. Is there a way to “truly” know? I’m not trying to dismiss the actual addiction, but how do you tell the difference? Is there a way to tell?

[@DrDougWeiss]

He can take a sex addiction test. Regardless, whether he is or not, your trauma would be the same in this situation. You may want to take the Partner Betrayal Trauma test at partnerbetrayaltrauma.org

[@lisas3373]

Dr doug I took the betrayal test scored 35 is that why I’m struggling my partner hasn’t been back to the screen in 8 months and he is remorse full and loving with cuddles and listens to my feelings and has been so honest that some of the things that porn did to the way he was thinking was wrong and he hates himself for it and says he never go back to it but is that real recovery he stopped 4 months before I found out and he had been searching it for a year to point in the last 3 months everyday looking for it but as it was on KZbin it wasn’t on there a lot of the time and I can see from data he was telling the truth looking for it became a habit and it made him look for that instead of me and over the last few months his opened up and admitted all what I asked and how his actions were but do you think his in recovery thank you

[@KayceeVal]

I cannot get past how a sex addict can have a long term affair partner that have been “in the picture” off and on for years. There were times of years then she would disappear for a few weeks, months or years and then the addict track them back down and they start back up with them again. Deliberately....How can they say they still love their partner? There hasn’t been a bevy of multiple partners but one long term one, one that was a few months and another long term one that the other long term AP scared off...how is that still addiction?

[@DrDougWeiss]

It can't be determined if it is addiction via email or third person, he would have to be evaluated in person. Your pain and trauma from this situation are real. I recommend you get help for yourself, you can join a group for Partners of Sex Addicts if you feel that is appropriate. facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/ www.drdougweiss.com/groups/partner-groups/

[@EnesDeljanin-u6l]

It's intermittent sex addiction in action , Proof in the pudding . Take it with a slice of bread or bare.

[@francescafourounjian]

How do i heal myself from my husband's sex addiction while im stuck in this marriage because of financial obligations and children

[@CreativeOne-ll8et]

I can’t find a video on what they say to women that they are in a relationship when they are sex addicted ?

[@DrDougWeiss]

We have a video for female sex addicts. Please click this link for the video. kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZpCwfaqDi7d7gLs

[@kathyricher3111]

I am not finding the Facebook group that u mentioned for spouses of sex addicts?

[@DrDougWeiss]

For the Partners of Sex Addicts Facebook group, go to: facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/

[@darrenplatts1161]

I believe that i am a sex addict very much. Never understood why,and blame myself. Never had anybody else to blame. Hate myself for feeling like this, that I find myself needing someone to punish and use me as they want to , after all it's what I deserve. Feeling love? What does it feel like?

[@DrDougWeiss]

Your pain is real. I would get in a recovery group or with a counselor. You can call us at 719-278-3708 to get scheduled and learn more about the resources we have available.

[@ronniebaker3826]

My wife started hormone replacement therapy. But now she's a different person. She's sneaking and having sex with strangers. She says it feels like she's. A different person. She has bad depression. Can hurt cause this behavior. I need help to understand.

[@ChrisLevelsUp]

I’m so sorry it must be incredibly difficult to watch. As a young man I developed an unhealthy habit of using porn to make myself feel better. Now as a 36 year old, when I’m under stress, or deeply sad, the absolute first thing I want to do is watch porn. It’s easier for women to have actual sex with a stranger, but it’s the same concept. I can tell you that for me, porn is 100% cheating. Watching porn has caused me to lose out on so much life. I have found Gabor Mate and Jordan Peterson to be very helpful, but I’m watching this video tonight because I’m very very sad and upset and lonely and angry, and all I want to do is watch porn so I can feel better

[@mbjos5962]

Howdy there I hope you're doing well! Also I've got a question, Is there a chance I could pay you the book Sex addiction: 6 types and treatment book pdf privately? I have parents who constantly and often invalidates me, Use abusive tactics etc. Yet if my father find out that I paided the book (Me and him are connected to the same bank so he can see what I bought), He's going to covertly throw zingers at me, Tell my mom behind my back and all the negatives. (Also I would love to heal the wounds and also study and read this book :> .

[@carlamaxwell8923]

Is my porn addict husband using me to get high from my hurt feelings from Getting a hit of dopamine. Abuses me

[@BeingErikaWhite]

Is this caused by a chemical imbalance?

[@lisabetten7473]

What are the steps to take when reconciling with your spouse who is a sex addict? Currently separated.

[@tammyblack144]

My husband of 27 years is a addicted to sex. I've known for years. I left him 3 years ago. I'm having a hard time letting go. He still continues with his addiction and lies to me about it. I need help with letting him go. Please guide me.

[@DrDougWeiss]

You can call us at 719-278-3708 and we can get you set up to do phone counseling with one of our therapists. We also have a phone Partners group as well as the Former Partners Facebook group you can join for support. You are not alone in your struggle. www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/ facebook.com/groups/divorcedpartnersofsa

[@catherinejones7949]

My husband acts as if I never said anything about sex to him at all. What’s wrong, or going on with him ? don’t he want me?

[@DrDougWeiss]

If you are in a sexless marriage, his behavior tells you whether he wants you or not. Why he might be this way could be found in the DVD Sexless & Married. There are several reasons and different treatments for each one. You can also check out intimacyanorexia.com and see if this fits. www.drdougweiss.com/product/sexless-married-dvd/

[@jensbornagain]

Where do I start ?

[@NWATransplant]

So, the SA is capable of living in the relational and object worlds simultaneously? And, just because they said they loved their girlfriends/wives under polygraph and passed, in the cases where there were relationships (as opposed to hook-ups/randos) with the supposed “acting out partners,” did you ask if they loved them, too? I know my SA (who had hundreds of randos, and 3 girlfriends), loved at least one of his girlfriends way more than he loved me, and I base that on his actions. He treated his one favorite like a queen. He treated me like crap.

[@DrDougWeiss]

Men love what they protect. If he did love them but didn't choose to stay with them, then that may have not been real love, although he abandoned you during this real affair. I would get healing for your trauma.

[@brokenwife6323]

Dr. Doug, did you actually mean “men protect what they love”?

[@manupatisanthosh7046]

You are amazing doc. I've realized how addicted I was to sex after I lost my relationship due to my no empathy and hypersexuality. I'm ashamed and greatful, it's very bitter to know such thing about yourself, it sucks but I'm very conscious and wanna be this way.

[@DrDougWeiss]

I'm glad that you found this video insightful. If you need help in recovering from sex addiction, you can check out some of my resources like the Final Freedom book and the 101 Freedom Exercises. You can also get booked to do a phone session with one of our sexual recovery coaches and freedom groups here at Heart To Heart Counseling Center by calling 719-278-3708. www.drdougweiss.com/product/final-freedom-ebook/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/101-freedom-exercises-ebook/

[@manupatisanthosh7046]

@@DrDougWeiss thanks for your reply, I'm gonna get started with your book. Im positive I'll become better.

[@martinrosen271]

I'm a porn addict...by the Grace of God i haven't acted out...in any way...for over a year and a half. That being said, when I was acting out with porn, i was commiting adultry on my Loving wife with it, for a long time. I never had a physical relationship with another person, but I did flirt which was definitely wrong. I have made amends, but i know i have damaged her to the extent that she cannot forgive me...ever. I am emotionally a wreck and have caused my wife emotional damage and pain, which i know has damaged her emotionally, and intimatly, toward me, and I am feeling emotionally and intimately barren. I have been called ferrel by my wife, and maybe she is right. I claim to love her, she is a beautiful woman, but i continually hurt her unknowingly, with my actions and inactions, and she responds in kind....knowingly. why am i like this??? Why can't I truly change and heal and rebuild the marriage?.

[@DrDougWeiss]

You would need to try a phone session or an intensive to be able to address this fully. Being accountable to man regularly could be helpful as well.

[@tinacordova7939]

Does someone who has been a sex addict recover if they have been an addict for 40 years. Even going through support groups, deliverance and poly and still continues and has never stopped only slowed down. Do men in their 50’s seriously recover? Doesn’t recovered mean you completely stop? Not do it here and there?

[@DrDougWeiss]

Yes recovery is possible, age is not an issue. He might want to take the 6 types test at sexaddict.com or get psychological testing to see why he is failing or he could do an intensive with us. If you'd like, there's the Partners of Sex Addicts phone group and Facebook group that can give you support: www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/ facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/

[@ekahbaby]

Doc, how to heal totally on that kind of addiction? I hope you notice me.

[@DrDougWeiss]

You can start healing at sexaddict.com Take the 6 types test, review the recommendations and continue from there. If you need more help, call my office at 719-278-3708.

[@rubiperez2538]

Great information Dr.

[@rosepink8953]

It is not the question if they love you, it's a matter of how much they love you, and it is very minimal! The research in this is missing this vital information. Always with sex addicts they keep their partners love tank empty while their partners keeps theirs full. Not only are they getting their love tanks full by their partners they are getting it over full with the help of their addictions. This is the unjust, this is the imbalance of sex addiction in love, and I don't see this spoken in this video.

[@davidsallee3867]

U mention led spiritually, emotionally, mortally immature. My question is what is ur take on spiritually n what that intails? Does God play a role cause I dont believe i have enough Streator in myself to change it would have to be a higher power

[@DrDougWeiss]

Yes, having a relationship with God is part of the spiritual development and helps with the healing process.

[@davidsallee3867]

@@DrDougWeiss sry I can see ur a Christian now I just started finding these videos I seem 2 have a serious issue w it destroyed whole family is there a good starting point material that I should get

[@DrDougWeiss]

The "Final Freedom" and the "101 Freedom Exercises" is a good start for dealing with sex addiction. www.drdougweiss.com/product/final-freedom-book/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/101-freedom-exercises-book/ Also "Clean" and "Lust Free Living" can be helpful as well. www.drdougweiss.com/product/clean-a-proven-plan-for-men-committed-to-sexual-integrity/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/lust-free-living/ If you want to understand her pain, "Helping Her Heal" and "Partner Betrayal Trauma" are good. www.drdougweiss.com/product/helping-her-heal-dvd/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-dvd/

[@davidsallee3867]

@@DrDougWeiss I bought two of them thank you

[@DrDougWeiss]

@@davidsallee3867 You're welcome

[@saadjaved7876]

Sir i get attracted very much when 2 women meet instead of which normal men are attracted i.e pornography. Is it unique case of mine?

[@tracygallagher8992]

He says he loves me but struggles to have sex with me 2 and a half year into his recovery

[@jessicastricklin]

Question - you say that addicts love their spouse. But with affair partners, you are saying they don’t love them because they aren’t capable of love. So how is that determination made? Is it just that the addict BELIEVES he loves his wife, but it isn’t a mature sort of love?

[@DrDougWeiss]

Exactly. In both cases, they are immature so love is there usually to some degree, but it's immature.

[@jessicastricklin]

@@DrDougWeiss thanks for the reply!

[@EvaSanchez-m3f]

Is it safe when you are married and found spouse cheating to have sex again

[@c.barrett5114]

My husband says porn helps him sleep. He says on work nights he can never have sex because of time restrictions amongst other reasons. Is it reasonable for him to watch porn on these nights before bed, because as he says, "sex was never going to happen anyways"? Is this a situation where I am being ridiculous for feeling replaced with pornography and is it really impossible for him to be with his wife or nothing at all rather then turning to porn?

[@DrDougWeiss]

You are describing porn addiction. I would get more information at sexaddict.com You can join our Partners of Sex Addicts Facebook group or phone counseling. You did not cause this and you can't heal this for him. Also look up Intimacy Anorexia and see if this applies as well. www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/ facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/

[@dorothyrose6545]

He is gaslighting you. Don't believe his lies.

[@EnesDeljanin-u6l]

When people say polygraph test and say compolsive liar and believes in their lie . A polygraph test can only give a false report automatically and be of false use. Polygraph test measures muscle movement when answering questions . If a person believes their crazy talk the muscle movement will be in the true State of muscle movement giving a false report that the polygrapher does not notice . Its only useful if the candidate knows their lie and is performing as it's a true statement their muscles will show a true result in a polygraph. So to burst your bubble a polygraph is not a stand alone tool but one of the tools with other investigation in totality help to put a puzzle together. So stop watching fake documentaries or police dramas thinking polygraph will uncover the truth all by itself.

[@keirynedelen8285]

HOW DO I GET IN CONTACT WITH YOU FOR HELP!!

[@DrDougWeiss]

You can contact our office at 719-278-3708 or email at [e-mail] for any questions you have, the resources and groups we have available, or for scheduling an appointment.

[@keirynedelen8285]

@@DrDougWeiss Thank you!! Do you have many locations or just one?

[@DrDougWeiss]

@Keiryn Edelen We are located in Colorado Springs, but we have a list of licensed counselors and coaches, as well as support groups in many different states and cities across the US and even internationally. You can check to see if there are any in your area here: aasat.org/find-therapist/ We also have phone counseling available as well. You can contact us and we will be happy to answer any questions you have and to help get you situated.

[@keirynedelen8285]

@@DrDougWeiss Awesome!! What’s your guys rate for a session. And for multiple sessions? I don’t have the best internet so I’m very happy you are able to answer my questions here

[@DrDougWeiss]

@@keirynedelen8285 Our rates vary based on the different therapists we have and their availability varies as well. It would be best to call to see who we have available and and their rates for what is best affordable for you.

[@momof2plusotaku657]

Imagine how horrible it feels thinking husband has to be a narcissist, All to realize he shows empathy with our kids. Literally it’s only me. And I’m supposed to be the closest person to him.? Sad truth is often these types of addicts become abusers and then we are literally here for years trying to even understand it all on your own before we realize e spent a long time being abused. Then we actually entertain working it out. I know I shouldn’t have but I don’t want to lose any of my kids much less 50/50 and if he would just pull his head out of his ass and face this shit and the truth and stop deflecting shit like I’m wrong for putting my boundaries up after my own borderpolar CPTSD therapy work. Idk if he just doesn’t believe me that he became my abuser and my childhood trauma of SA is a form of an excuse and I shouldn’t struggle and only be okay with 1/2 times a month. Pffft.

[@ProPainterMKE]

How to heal??

[@DrDougWeiss]

If you are the partner, start with the Partner Betrayal Trauma book and workbook. You might want to do a phone session too. Also, you can join our Partners of Sex Addicts Facebook group. www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-book/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/partner-betrayal-trauma-workbook/ facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/

[@TanyaMoss-fb8zu]

Do porn addicted husbands who go through recovery end up truly being satisfied with their wives appearance again. My husband tells me how visual he is and how looks matter and that we won’t be having sex at 80 because of that.

[@DrDougWeiss]

It is possible, if they are willing to do the work to retrain the brain. The video Sexual Templates would be a helpful resource in talking about the impact of pornography on the brain and how to rewire the brain in order to have healthy sexuality. Sex After Recovery might also be a good resource too. www.drdougweiss.com/product/sexual-templates-dvd/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/sexual-templates-video-download/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/sex-after-recovery/ www.drdougweiss.com/product/sex-after-recovery-dvd-download/

[@EnesDeljanin-u6l]

When a person has sex they do not love but lust and perform it in an action. Love is spiritual from the mind and heart . People have been educated by society that love is also sex . Guess you have to ask the person who says " I love you "! , what their defintion of love is at that moment that they profess.

[@frankcarlo7]

What is the definition of a sex addict husband? How does it hurt a marriage ? What happens if the husband doesn’t cheat he just wants his wife all the time

[@DrDougWeiss]

As you may know, someone with a sex addiction has a compulsive need to be sexually stimulated, lacking control over their sexual urges. Usually, this is through the active use (and often increasing use) of a sexual behavior (ie: masturbation, porn, etc) which can lead to other behaviors over time. This desire often interferes with their ability to live their daily life and negatively impacts it, which can affect other people close to them as well. Regarding the signs, this short video may provide you with some clarity. Signs in Sex Addiction in men: kzbin.info/www/bejne/n5SpmZ1sp6imldE You can also check out these links as well: www.sexaddict.com/am-i-a-sex-addict/ www.sexaddict.com/six-types-of-sex-addicts/ If someone is a sex addict, they stay immature as they continue to engage in such behavior. It destroys the trust and connectivity a person has with their partner (since they aren't being open with what they are doing and are seeking sexual gratification elsewhere), which in turn damages the marriage. Most sex addicts don't cheat, however, the partner betrayal trauma is the same for the spouse. You might want to do a session with a coach/counselor if you need specific direction depending on your situation. You can do so locally or you can call us at 719-278-3708 to get scheduled and for more information.

[@dimeavekeloke]

4:24 Yes. But they manage it in an addict way, so irresponsible, immature......

[@Misabelle]

What if he’s also a love addict? Was it ever real?

[@DrDougWeiss]

Any comorbid addiction would leave him immature in his love towards you. If you need support, we have a Partners phone group and Facebook group you can join: www.drdougweiss.com/partner-group/ facebook.com/groups/partnersofsa/

[@souhilaghouali5538]

Thank you

[@jillcannonsobrado1049]

Thank you ‼️

[@DrDougWeiss]

You’re welcome.

[@sonjaengland2338]

Excellent

[@DrDougWeiss]

Thanks

[@soniacolley2411]

What does God say on this topic . It is their reality which is false but in the real world no they don't. Love is an action . Do I believe they will go to heaven yes some will as it is unintenional and some intentional .

[@goddywynn146]

hey

[@withluvamrita]

Yes they do.

[@tearthangel373]

Nope

[@cranstonsnorg]

Good God. He just kept talking around the question without answering it. I finally stopped listening.

[@tearthangel373]

Loves

[@hellstromcarbunkle8857]

Since positive evidence of sexual addiction does not exist, the DSM V does not include such a descriptor. And rightly so. It just doesn't exist

[@taniak8707]

Thank you very much.❤