“What If I'm The Emotionally Immature Person In A Relationship?”

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Remember to subscribe if you're new here 🙂 👉 t1p.de/2o0n and here are videos related to this one: ▶ 4 Steps To Handling Relationships With Emotionally Immature People | Emotional Maturity Awareness kzbin.info/www/bejne/eYSvmmubg7R_eLs ▶ Becoming Immune To Emotional Takeovers & Reclaiming Your Mental And Emotional Autonomy kzbin.info/www/bejne/nKndkIGri6mGoac ▶ 6 Strategies For Resisting Emotional Takeovers From Emotionally Immature People In Interactions kzbin.info/www/bejne/jGGqaJ99pMiaq6s ▶ Emotional Intimacy Vs. Enmeshment: Where To Find True Connection kzbin.info/www/bejne/i3_bhXusls-ri9k ▶ 6 Questions To Measure Your Emotional Health And How To Improve It kzbin.info/www/bejne/gounoHmvZ5lkhac ▶ Increasing Emotional Intimacy: Replacing Protest Behavior With Honesty kzbin.info/www/bejne/pIWcpKaOqttmpLs ▶ How We Unconsciously Destroy Emotional Intimacy And Keep Others At A Distance kzbin.info/www/bejne/onamlGqcaqd5qdU ▶ Togetherness Vs. Separateness: A Tug-Of-War In Relationships? 5 Keys To Remember kzbin.info/www/bejne/mneUgZtjd7xnppY ▶ How To Keep A Conversation Going With Anyone kzbin.info/www/bejne/j4fdYah3atCAp7s ▶ Conversations That Connect Instead of Arguments-Improving Communication Skills kzbin.info/www/bejne/rYPUkqqMZZWDoaM ▶ Self-Esteem Booster: How To Stop Inviting Domination Unintentionally & Live Your Life kzbin.info/www/bejne/a57ckH95gLRmi7M ▶ The 4 Sides Of Messages-A Key To Resolving Misunderstandings And Improving Your Communication Skills kzbin.info/www/bejne/lX-QnYV7aZynas0 ▶ The Cost Of Trying Too Hard To Be Cool And How To Live A Life That’s More Fulfilled kzbin.info/www/bejne/nJKbeZlvgJmnia8 ▶ Is It Offensive To Consider Some Adults To Be Emotionally Immature? kzbin.info/www/bejne/fmi7paeMoNSfp8U

[@seanmcguire7175]

I already knew the answer when I booted this video up. It's why I searched. I just ended a nearly 5 year relationship and friendship because of how immature I am. 33-years old and when we met I'd never had a relationship before. I hold grudges and resentments, am a codependent, struggle with enmeshment, always devolving into letting my inner child run the show, struggle to give consistently because I'm so preoccupied with my own needs and wants, struggled to accept blame or responsibility for my actions, could never set boundaries, could never take time for myself because I felt like it wasn't allowed. They had to walk on egg shells with me constantly. Any sort of critique or voicing a need around a boundary or anything could set me off into defensiveness or self hatred. I think there's a part of me that took over when I ended things who wanted revenge. Revenge for the decision to not get married and have kids together. Which was mutual! Yet this part of me felt rejected and unwanted and angry. The anger said, "why won't you just give me what I want." And don't get me started on sex. This narcissistic, emotionally immature, self hating part of me would use so much passive manipulation to try to get sex. And got so angry and resentful when that need wasn't being met. When I'm feeling great, when my cup is full, when my needs are met, that day is when I'm very supportive and playful and funny and giving. So giving. A wonderful partner. Which is probably why it made it to almost 5 years. But man oh man am I a fuck up. The reconciliation of my failings is going to be long, hard road.

[@seanmcguire7175]

And I'm so resistant to letting go of my resentments and grudges! For which so many I never even bothered to voice or talk about! And God, I was such a critical and judgmental and disrespectful partner. I know this has foundations in relationship anxiety and low self worth and on and on, being made worse by my emotional immaturity and relationship inexperience, but God... how do I improve fast enough, how do I heal, how do I grow... I'm 34 in September! I'm so behind!

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Hi Sean! Thanks for sharing your story. I'm moved by your awareness and insight into the psychological underpinnings of your situation. I also hear a lot of guilt mixed with shame - which is natural when we come to a situation in life that brings so much awareness and change. You can use the guilt as a positive force for change, and work on healing the shame altogether. Guilt is when we see that we made a mistake, shame is a sense of being fundamentally broken. Guilt can be helpful, shame isn't. 💖 I think a helpful video for you to watch next could be this one: “This One Is For Anyone Feeling Behind In Life / Ashamed Of Where They Are In Life” kzbin.info/www/bejne/emKtg3SLe9CYi7s There's no universal blueprint of where we should be with 34 💖

[@L6FT]

I'm 47, I didn't start to dig into all of this until after my last breakup, knowing that I was suffering from trauma. I can acknowledge some of these on the list from myself and my last counterpart, we all have our issues, and the blindspots we only become aware of when the world hands us challenges/suffering, so it's a blessing in disguise. Once we overcome the problem we are wiser and won't repeat the lesson, or until it repeats in a new form. Practice virtue towards yourself, the inner child is our ego, our emotions they are allowed to exist, the caring parent ie virtue handles the inner child with care, grace, curiosity, compassion, patience.. So speak kindly and encouragingly to yourself, treat yourself and others how you want to be treated. Take good care.

[@nlwxp]

Such good insight, I made many notes. Thank you so much! 🙏

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

I‘m glad to hear that 🌸☀️🌈🙂

[@drewwesley9506]

This was challenging to listen to, humbling, insightful, helpful, and hopeful.

[@applenewt]

Love it! Thank you 🙏🏼

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Thanks, glad to hear it 🙂🌸🙏🏻

[@Valathiril]

You have a great channel. Very wise. Subscribed to support you!

[@clementcheng6003]

Thank you, It is very helpful for me. 🧡

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

That’s great 🫶🏻

[@devaacharya630]

Super interesting!!!

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

That‘s great!! 🙂🙏🏻🌸

[@johnmills3163]

Excellent ! Thank You ! ... cleared up A LOT for me 👍

[@coraldell3091]

I have been through a lot of grief.. i don't feel able to talk about it... Im trying so hard to be in balance for me. Ive boundry for quite a few people... Its just to difficult 😢😢😢

[@NoraLexie]

Something I have been stuggling with for a long time is: how can I bring up something that has occurred that was hurtful to the person who did it while also ensuring that they dont feel like they have to walk on eggshells? Thank you for this informative video.

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

It helps to keep the feedback focused on that one instance and not speak in a generalized way (always, never…) - if you’re talking about one instance it’s easier to understand and move through…

[@bhavinidasi5123]

Wonderful, thank you

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

🌸☀️🌈

[@lythsian]

My ex of one month described me as emotionally immature and whilst I may have one or two of these on the list, she's got all the rest. If not for NC I'd send this to her.

[@reembitar294]

Hello Dr. Maika, Thank you for the interesting videos. I really like how you highlight the importance of emotional maturity and growth in relationships. Do you offer a program where I can chat with you, for one month, for example? I would like to shift my mindset and become more emotionally mature, and more importantly, have a secure attachment style! I think this would help. Thank you for very much for looking into it.

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Hi! I'm glad my videos resonate with you 😊. Yes, I offer 1:1 sessions. You can contact me via my webpage www.maikasteinborn.com or email: info[at]maikasteinborn.com

[@robertvanderhorst2412]

Hi Maika, let me tell you I appreciate your efforts for making this video: I appreciate this. I appreciate it. Thank you its much appreciated. There you have it. 3 times more appreciation then the times I've watched it. That should do the trick. #Ipractisewhatyoupreach#😅. Br Robert (Netherlands)

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

🙂🙏🏻

[@hern4384]

Nice information!!

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Glad you found it helpful ☺️

[@yumildarodriguez1175]

Yes, we all have a but childishness ❤

[@NoraLexie]

Thank you

[@Shotgun979]

I am able to identify problems but it’s even easier to keep falling back into them constantly. I make promises on promises then breaking them almost immediately. My wife wants to leave and promises to as soon as she can i need to do all this work I had so much time to do in so little time. She’s medically complicated and I’ve let so much go to the wayside that makes her feel worse. Is it possible to make progress fast? I don’t want to live like this anymore either it just hurts us all

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

In general yes, it is possible to make progress fast 💯 All the best 🌱

[@istanbulmuskisi5705]

Nice background 😉

[@dersonnenschuh4197]

Thanks

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

🌸🙏🏻🙂

[@yumildarodriguez1175]

Is about the immaturity grade we are in.

[@mariashumilova1784]

🧡🙏

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

🙂

[@ca_quixote]

The mouth noise is rather distracting. I'd suggest adjusting the audio recording method.

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Thanks for your feedback. I’ll have to rewatch this video to see what you mean, although it may be my accent that’s causing mouth noise🙈

[@ca_quixote]

@@DrMaikaSteinborn Apologies if pointing this out caused discomfort! I have a slightly above avg experience with different forms of media so I'm probably a bit more sensitive than most. Perhaps it's not a big deal to your larger audience. Making a positive adjustment in this regard could prove beneficial though. I'd definitely encourage you to do a small deepdive into "mouth noise" and how to technically avoid it, whether audio recording fix or simply drinking more water before/during recording sessions. All the best 🖖🏽😇

[@DrMaikaSteinborn]

Not at all! Thank you for pointing this out. I didn't even know this was a thing. I watched a few videos about reducing mouth noise (thanks for giving me that keyword), which was very helpful to understand it better and sharpen my awareness for what it sounds like. Today I had another filming day and I paid more attention to creating less mouth noise. One thing that was simple to do and had a big impact was drinking more and then swalling any extra fluid in my mouth right before a take. I just listened to the result and really like the difference these small changes have made already. I want to continue to work on this. I realized there are more unnecessary mouth noises I make like “tsa” etc. So thanks again, this was really helpful feedback!