Earth ★☆☆☆☆ Amazing Food, Not Worth The Effort & They have a soft spot | HFY | TFOS1117

[@silvadelshaladin]

If your planet has some sentient species that would be considered cute, you are in. You can take humanity for everything. We won't say no to an incarnation of the rabbit from alice in wonderland.

[@clarkb1900]

Fluffy Bunny: "Oh dear, oh dear- I'm going to be late!" Human Ambassador: "L-late.. LATE?! OhnonoNOO- HERE, I got you- LET'S GO!-" *scoops bunny up and runs faster than he's ever run in his life* Fluffy Bunny: "-EEP!! What- AAH! W-wait- y-you're g-going the w-WRONG WAAaaay*!" *fades into the distance*

[@ladyodragons3849]

1st story: Terra wouldn't be Terra if she weren't trying to kill you! 2nd story: As soon as they were talking about the human being distracted I was like: "Are they small and fluffy?"

[@mstrfool]

Humans do have odd reactions to somethings. Still, I think I have figured out how to deal with them. It's all about the presentation. Profile pic shows my perfect plan. :)

[@labella9291]

@@mstrfool FLUFFY!! *grabby hands*

[@mstrfool]

@@labella9291 Meep...

[@LordOfNihil]

floofkins want scritches?

[@draconusspiritus1037]

It was so fluffy I thought I was gonna die.

[@MeisterVivi]

humanity will not rest until all cute, cuddly and fluffy is happy and have enough to eat!!!

[@lawrencem.37]

1st story: I was like all that fancy tech is great when the power stays on and we would still have all the old stuff. The wildlife issue is pretty much resolved, why replace what already works. 2nd Story: I was pretty sure there was going to be cute raging. Which is when something is so unbelievably cute that it almost makes so mad that it's that cute. You gotta touch it at that point.

[@griffgoldstein6378]

cuteness aggression is a real thing too.

[@lawrencem.37]

@@griffgoldstein6378 I know right. I was thinking that's what is was going to be lol

[@archibaldvonlictonpooper5703]

@@lawrencem.37 cuddle rage

[@etuanno]

Blood for the blood god! Skulls for the skull throne! And pets for that cute alien species!!!

[@robertschumacher2707]

Milk for the Khorne Flakes!

[@waynecampeau4566]

2nd story lien diplomat was VERY lucky that the human diplomat was not from Australia. Things would not have gone nearly so well I fear. 🐇

[@AmataTai]

A fluffy bunny telepath listening to our inner monologue, delightful

[@alwelle3902]

Dennis Leary did it best. Dennis: Why don't we just have animal auditions. Line 'em up one by one and interview them individually. Dennis: What are you? Otter: I'm an otter. Dennis: And what do you do? Otter: I swim around on my back and do cute little human things with my hands. Dennis: You're free to go. And what are you? Cow: I'm a cow. Denis: Get in the truck, ok pal! Cow: But I'm an animal. Dennis: You're a baseball glove! Get on that truck! Cow: I'm an animal, I have rights! Dennis: (pointing at leather jacket) Yeah, here's yer --- cousin, get on the --- truck, pal!

[@etuanno]

Today I saw a baby european bison at the zoo, it was so amazingly fluffy looking. To be honest I was sad that I wasn't able to pet it. :'( That pretty much sums up the secomd story but with a tragic ending...

[@brianl8481]

Cute species and kids? Humans will help, no questions asked beyond how to help. Woe to any that intentionally harms the cute species, that’s when the war nature will come out.

[@James-bw4np]

I remember a previous story about some space otters.....

[@TransbianOwl]

Story 1: Humans are generally lazy and only do exactly enough to get by and rarely any more then that without some kind of outside influence. However... Story 2: Humans will move fracking galaxies for the sake of small cute fluffy things.... once we stop cooing over them long enough to act.

[@AgroSquerril]

true

[@nooneofimportance2110]

Good thing he didn't look like a chinchilla, we would bankrupted ourselves helping his people.

[@samueltrusik3251]

In this episode of "Tales from outer space": The adventures of fluffy bunny.

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@Tempestan]

:O Space Kiddie Floofs are starving!!!!! F.T.A For The Squerrillll!!!! FOR THE FLOOFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm and floofs

[@Mustangofold]

Telepathic Fluffy Bunny Puppy Babies are STARVING?!?! That shit will not stand.

[@justinjrobart]

the second story was straight up how we would handle intergalactic trade agreements with the floofy cuties... however when they find out about our fur trades....

[@taitano12]

Depends on if they're like Ewoks, or Terran weasels, otters, etc. They may not have a problem with it. They may even want to try a bite. There's enough carnivorous and omnivorous floofballs on Earth that it wouldn't be unrealistic for them to have zero problem with it.

[@griffgoldstein6378]

I'll set the traps up so we are start trading in their fur.

[@Da_Shark]

@@taitano12 ferrets are the cutest fluff balls ever but can be smelly but you just gotta get them used to water so they want to swim on their own and presto clean little floof noodle that just wants to play and be a neck warmer

[@robertbemis9800]

@@griffgoldstein6378 and the first time a customer finds out you killed a sapient to get that fur, no jury will convict the customer

[@robertbemis9800]

@@griffgoldstein6378 on the other hand, they might have a long tradition of skinning their dead as part of their funeral rights and have no hang ups about trading ancestors hides to the scary humans

[@chaosfriedeggz6014]

For the galactic gourmets out there I wouldn't recommend you just eating at a restaurant outside of Earth as this can and will effect the taste of the food. If you want to taste the true flavor of Earth's delicacies then go to Earth. I recommend visiting Earth mostly to deathworlders and Warrior Species

[@zyanidwarfare5634]

When they mentioned “skip drives before antigravity” I thought “we also invented surgery before anesthetics!”

[@kennethhummel4409]

Coffee and danish on standby cappin!!!

[@AgroSquerril]

nice

[@seanrobert9661]

@@AgroSquerril fwuffw eating apowderd pastery,awwwww

[@GnarledStaff]

Writing tip; use an oddly specific detail to make a character feel like someone who is actually in an occupation. This can also imply a greater depth of worldbuilding, even if none was done, as it hints at things beyond the characters in the scene. Its also a fun way to add flavor. So for a businesssman or diplomat, having a character mention a specific topic or trade issue instead of using a more general term. You can have it refer to a location, Something like "clearing up the trade dispute on Epsilon 15". Or mention an industry such as a "discuss the importation of textile goods into xx space". (Works great if combined with a specific location). Adding a technical term works too, if you know how to use them correctly. Perhaps "industrial tariffs" as the first thing on the docket, for example. The trick is that it sticks in the readers mind and implies that the licarions and trades exist without the author having to put any effort into actually showing or worldbuilding those things. Though, if you then mention something related to the above trade in a later scene, (and this can be as easy as having a character load or see a box of x product instead of just a crate), the reader feela like they got an easter egg and were rewarded for paying attention. For the Algorithm!

[@RealengoPrimordialDemon]

Space Karen leaving a one star review in Space Yelp.

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@kashkara_8943]

The algorithm demands tribute and blood

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm , this is youtube not twitter , so a lot less blood is needed

[@alonenotlonely1179]

@@AgroSquerril there can never be enough blood!

[@wyvern5903]

Please Squerril, I don't have anymore socks. The nanite swarms have started stealing my pants now.

[@taitano12]

Same. Took me a while to notice, as I haven't worn pants in almost a year, but, yeah. Several pair are missing and one showed signs of Nanite disintegration.

[@AgroSquerril]

not mine then.... mine only like socks....

[@wyvern5903]

@@AgroSquerril Code 15, unidentified nanite swarms detected! Hide all clothing!

[@taitano12]

@@AgroSquerril Not yours... Oh, brother. DAMMIT, DOOFENSHMIRTS!!!

[@asurasyn]

Okay, I actually couldn't get through the second one. The cutesy talk did me in. 😆

[@merlinathrawes746]

It wouldn't be a deathworld if it wasn't trying to kill you. For a moment I was waiting for the human to say "it's wabbit season". But when food SHORTAGES were mentioned it became full-on "protect the fuzzies"!

[@kerwinbrown4180]

Bunnies are a weakness. Starving Bunnies are a catastrophe.

[@EAZ36588]

For the love of all things cute and cuddly...

[@donanthebarbarian5177]

Another great read! May the algorithm be ever in your favor!

[@AgroSquerril]

Glad you enjoyed

[@jeanannd]

LOL, considering dogs and cats have long realized that just looking at their humans in a certain way, is the way to rule us - oh this is so believable.

[@derekstein6193]

I could see the second story going VERY wrong. Seeing as it sounds like the other space-faring species didn't get along with humanity, the moment we found out the space bunnies can read our thoughts (especially if they admit to using the ability in diplomatic talks), things will most likely deteriorate real fast. First. Paranoia; were they sent to play on our sensibilities while reading our minds? Second. Paranoia becomes fear. What are they planning? What do they want? Third. Fear becomes anger. How dare they read our thoughts without permission, or even without telling us that they could? They used images of adorable children to manipulate us! Fourth. Anger becomes hate. Were those images even real, or just propaganda? How dare they play with our emotions, and emotionally blackmail us for MASSIVE amounts of OUR resources!!! They must be in league with the other races. Decievers! Manipulators! We will show them! We will discover their evil schemes and make them pay! Last. Suffering.

[@Calaban619]

I guess thats where it comes to if your heart was in the right place to begin with, all in all. Those who are defensive about their inner thoughts are already on the path to the Dark Side, as you will. The diplomat may have been awkward, but it was all 1000% genuine.

[@2ndbrain909]

I don’t think the bunny people could read minds though. I thought the humans were talking aloud.

[@QuesoCucuy]

@@2ndbrain909 same. i figured the bunnies were too dang cute for them to be capable of keeping their mouth shut.

[@shebvixen]

I mean, I'm pretty sure cats already do all that stuff anyway and we haven't done anything about them, so they'll probably be fine.

[@nooneofimportance2110]

Yes. OUR suffering as we are denied the fluffy tumtum.

[@ATSucks1]

Thank you tier five patrons for supporting our narrator here.

[@IRMentat]

let's face it, if they knew the truth they could rob us blind and we'd happily capitulate as long as there were belly rubs and fluffy cuddles.

[@Calaban619]

Eew just pictured seedy floof workers, out on the streets at night.

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Squerril Bless the Author

[@karasuchrono]

Ohhhhh myyyy gooooood lemme pet lemme pet pls lol. I can just imagine from hearing the human describe them. Loved the story, thanks for reading it with us!

[@tedb.5707]

Duck season! Rabbit season. Duck season! Rabbit season. Duck season! Duck season Rabbit season, ohh bother!

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@Southern_Crusader]

Who has ever eaten rabbit before? Show of hands?

[@taitano12]

They're as tasty as they are cute. I don't think I could eat a sapient one though, even if they were omnivorous like Ewoks and wouldn't mind.

[@YoungBD1]

"Just wheels or your own body" Sounds like they visited Detroit, Michigan. For the Squerril! For the Algorithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the Algorithm

[@Calaban619]

I wonder- how does the Algorithm interpret comments and likes BEFORE it even premiers?

[@AgroSquerril]

no clue , can only be good... maybe

[@wholeeyschmoley580]

AlgoRythmz b KREEPY tho....😱😡☠💀😈🤬😠👹👺👻👽👾🤖😳🥺🧐🤢

[@LordGertz]

For all things cute and cuddly.

[@paulhuston9991]

Must boop the FLOOFS!!!

[@JamesSavik]

Humans like the cute bunny people.🐰

[@EinBienenliebhaber]

I’m hyped bois!

[@AgroSquerril]

choooo choooo

[@kurtismiller9544]

Can't handle what we consider civilized. And the floofy widdle Bunny! Here comes Peter Cottontail, hopping down the bunny trail, hippity hoppity Easter's on it's way.... Sorry the song just popped into my head 😂

[@paulross225]

Well done that man! Just - jolly well done!

[@TheDurid1]

Second story, the diplomat was picking up his 'inner dialog'? 😆

[@klappstock943]

For the Algorithm the story and the voice

[@Randomperson-ne3kp]

1st story: aliens are fucking lazy

[@seatbelttruck]

Humans often show love by offering food. Starving baby bunnies will not stand.

[@Calaban619]

They cannot stand. Their floofy tummy tums is too full..😆

[@M4gl4d]

How about a race of flightless birds evolved to a cold planet? They all come with built-in tuxedos

[@TheBFWolf]

If he had pulled out a pocket watch

[@DaZebraffe]

Where do so many people in this comments section get the idea the bunny-man could read thoughts? The story explicitly stated the human was mumbling to themself...

[@AgroSquerril]

i think its the terms of inner voice and outer voice

[@danielstellmon5330]

for the algorithm! For the safety of my socks!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@MourningNihilist]

I’m down to mismatch socks from Xmas and Nike sport, nanites be hating me

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@wholeeyschmoley580]

WHEEEEEEE!!! OMFGAWD 😜

[@AgroSquerril]

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[@miri5373]

skip drives before antigraf... yeah we r probably gonna be doin just that...

[@mfree80286]

Terrans. Terrans come from Terror.

[@AgroSquerril]

that they do

[@tahakumonsonoa6026]

Space Bunnies!!!!!!!!!!

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@seanrobert9661]

For the bard For the squrral For the algorithms

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the Algorithm

[@CanCodeyt]

the Combine? Like THE Combine or is it just the same name?

[@nos2342]

To please the algorithm is all

[@AgroSquerril]

for the algorithm

[@Monster_Ink]

😅 For the algorithm!

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For some reason the algorithm told me that I should leave a comment here.

[@AgroSquerril]

it does that sometimes

[@blackfire3744]

First class galaxy problems

[@KroMagnum4]

Cute Bunnies from space hahahaha.

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@basrengangetch.2042]

Hey Agro, I think you put 'The mercy of the fey by DrBlackJack21' instead of the story titles that or YT messed up again

[@AgroSquerril]

corrected

[@S4t4n_NZ]

I want a story of evil genocidal guinea pigs.

[@politebadger5049]

Whose only allies are the humans who keep insisting that empress fluffikins didn’t do nothing.

[@alonenotlonely1179]

@James Cooper Write one then.

[@notyetdeleted6319]

I don’t understand why in these stories adult humans turn into small children at the sight of something cute? I mean, my perception of cute may be abnormal, I think chickens are frikin adorable and any kind of rodent disgusts me, including rabbits

[@babla69420]

Yea everyone different

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the Algorithm

[@genericuser984]

neat

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@elfeater1760]

For the Algorithm11!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@WiredTurkey316]

I was wondering how you're going to handle the redacted bits

[@merlinwizard1000]

143rd, 20 January 2024

[@mstrfool]

But... I'm a white guy... Got no rhythm.. Algo or otherwise...

[@AgroSquerril]

Put some water in the sun and leave it , you should be algae. Add in some Jello and you will get Algo. Tap the bucket and it will rythm with nature

[@mstrfool]

@@AgroSquerril Good lord, it could work... I'm gonna try it. Someone hold my beer.. Why is everyone running?..

[@beingsneaky]

Ok second stories also, look up fluffy bunny, you put upon fluffy bunny. Look up human pets. I an sure you will be more them put upon but angry. Ang get an apology from the humans and demand human officials with some self control.

[@beingsneaky]

Second story, once again Do humans always have to act like idiots.. can we not have someone who has some measure of self control?? Can they not treat the xeno diplomat as a high ranking official that they are. Treat them with respect? Do humans not vet their personal?? Or do they just let anyone have office and rank?? These kind of stories have always annoyed me.