Human artists are scary by Mercury_the_dealer | Humans are Space Orcs | HFY | TFOS1116

[@yveltal825]

Human: *annihilates a galactic threat* Was that a training thing? Alien: *silent fear*

[@alexluckham6622]

you know if there was something in this story's universe that humans considered a threat then we still have humanity's greatest form of art to show the galaxy. THE ART OF WAR.

[@thewyrm4201]

"I stand alone, gazing upon the battlefield Wasteland, is all thats left after a fight."

[@majestichotwings6974]

@@thewyrm4201 “and now I’m searching a new to defeat my enemies. Bloodshed, I’ve seen enough of death and pain” It’s a banger for sure

[@widdershins5383]

Time to WAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!! Get it right humie lol

[@mstrfool]

Worse... The art of tentacle porn....

[@majestichotwings6974]

@@mstrfool “it’s called ‘hentai,’ and it’s art” - Stanley, “the office”

[@chiisan3776]

Tell me, who felt shivers down on yer spine when the "Battleship" was rotating its cannon

[@artbrann]

I REALLY expected it to be a recreation of the Space Battleship Yamato, including the Wave Motion Gun, right up till they started describing it

[@nunya3163]

@@artbrann I had the Star Blazers theme playing in my head, and could see the Yamato turning to fire.

[@westcoaststacker569]

@@artbrann Agreed, I was expecting Space Battleship Yamato also. For the algo.

[@neuralmute]

@@artbrann To be fair, as a history and shipwreck geek, I made some embarrassing glee noises at the "model" Bismarck. And with the resources, I'd totally build one myself. And a "model" of the original Yamato, too. Those were some pretty sweet ships, albeit on the wrong side of the war.

[@CidGaius]

I thought I was clever, I really did. I began wearing sandals and slippers exclusively. I threw out all my socks and smugly refused to add a like to this video. Not because I didn’t like it, but because I thought it foolish to believe in a sock stealing Nanite Swarm. I was wrong. It was I who was the fool. After watching this video and not leaving a like, I heard a knock on my door. There floating in front of me as I opened the door… was a brand new pair of socks. The most perfect pair of socks I had ever seen, no description I give could capture their beauty. Weeping as I reached out towards them one of the socks disappeared in a silvery grey cloud, leaving me with only one. The nanites had made the most perfect pair of socks in the history of mankind. They had done it so they could finally steal my other sock.

[@seanrobert9661]

Fksrgen nanites

[@sammarino7357]

You fell for the bait I prefer sandals and keep my socks behind a air tight laser point defense Safe with only one way in and out with the entire corridor filled with mini emp charges theres… wait oh no the safes gone… MY SOCKS

[@dm_katy2263]

How did this comment not recieve a heart yet???

[@firedirewolf]

holy crap that is some brilliant NFY, them nanites are probably operating whole dyson spheres and star systems just to make huge think tanks, twas inevitable, they may have even have gone back in time to do it, but for you, they made a special case to break that soul, we were unprepared for this level of readiness...

[@CidGaius]

@@dm_katy2263 it’s all the nanites fault!

[@gingercore69]

As a human artist, i can confirm that, given enough resources, we would do that kind of shit... Loved the video

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@aleisterlavey9716]

Yeah, I totally would build a star system sized King Kong to fight your star system sized Godzilla, given I would have the means for it. Or a star system sized Donkey Kong? Doesn't matter, as long giant Space Ape!

[@Azurath100]

@@aleisterlavey9716 don't forget, since void can't make sound you'd have to give the roar an atmosphere or simulate when watching.

[@aleisterlavey9716]

@@Azurath100 instead of acoustic vibrations, my giant space ape roars in gravity waves and therefore vacuum has no effect.

[@Azurath100]

@@aleisterlavey9716 epic

[@yeetusdeletus2756]

Man, imagine if this version of humanity actually deemed something a threat enough to fight it with full force.

[@AgroSquerril]

no more universe

[@matthewklestinski7030]

"Now is zee time on Sprockets.."

[@d4h836]

Now imagine the entirety of human imagination and art from our entire existence vs one single target. It would barely be a war

[@missjayspeechley9213]

The other races would be leaving the galaxy so quick, I doubt they'd even stop to pack

[@LockandLoad79]

Humanity will start Throwing Galaxies at the threat. Like the ancient(at the time settings of this fiction) literature of Gurren Lagann.

[@alexs5814]

Underrated comment from the original reddit site!!!! written by Danjiano Human > "Alright sir, here's your 1000:1 scale model of the Bismarck." < "You mean 1:1000, right?" > "What?" on a related note: Great read and thank you for bringing the story to my attention!

[@firedirewolf]

i just think of the ghost buster's scene with slimer "i'm sorry, i can put it right back" *ENTIRE COUNCIL jumping up out of their seats, many injuries and broken limbs from some falling from rafters and stuff* "NO! NOO!! OH GODS NO!! NNOOOOOOOO"

[@AgroSquerril]

A pleasure , glad you enjoyed it

[@tarrantwolf]

182:1 scale assuming the "aircraft carrier sized crew" refered to a Nimitz class carrier. The Bismark would have been about 28.3 miles long.

[@Lord_Lasagña]

I have the feeling that the next art they will make might be "The Big Bang" and they would say "It's art that shows how the universe was made and how beautiful it was in the process" and unknowingly created the multiverse.

[@AgroSquerril]

lol , sounds about right

[@Lord_Lasagña]

@@AgroSquerril we're humans so we know what we're going to make in our next art project. XD

[@Kualinar]

Well, creating a whole new Universe would be the Ultimate form of Art possible.

[@purplepedantry]

Imagine the Copyright Laws for that...

[@demonelf2094]

Bismark in motion, King of the Ocean.

[@AViewCado69420]

HE WAS MADE TO RULE THE WAVE ACROSS THE SEVEN SEAS!

[@greenrena8503]

TO LEAD THE WAR MACHINE!

[@craftysmithkeith3653]

A BEAST MADE OF STEEL

[@weasley7273]

THE BISMARK AND THE KRIEFS MARINE!

[@tachyon8317]

"300,000 robo-men And 50,000 gigatons of steel Set course for the Alvearium With artistic pride at his heel"

[@rayanderson5797]

Aliens: Alright, alright, you can have a seat on the senate! Just one condition. Humans: What condition? Aliens: * Points to artist* Keep that thing the _hell_ away from us!

[@Nietzscheisdead-God1900]

I wonder how accurate that Bismarck was. It’s was a beautiful ship after all. (Ignoring who built it)

[@OliverIsanzi]

But not ignoring who it was named after, too.

[@Destroyer_V0]

Considering it's a scaled up version? I would certainly hope pretty damn accurate, at least externally. Internally, not as sure it would match the real thing... but then again. So many other details were replicated, I would not be surprised if at least the interior layout was the same.

[@terrorcop101]

If by beautiful you mean absolute nightmare for both crew and foe. The Bismarck was the biggest--and I think fastest--warship to ever sail the Atlantic and it turned out to be a lot to handle even under good conditions, then it takes just enough battle damage to become impossible to control when they needed to get home to safety. Not to mention what it did the the HMS Hood just after setting sail.

[@zyanidwarfare5634]

@@terrorcop101 that’s why it’s glorious, it’s a monster of a machine, wild and hard to control yet when you manage to tie it down and make it do your bidding it’s a powerful destructive force

[@terrorcop101]

@@zyanidwarfare5634 True. Also it's a literal paintjob shy of holding a giant target over your head.

[@bulldowozer5858]

*The terror of the **-sea-** VOID!* *The Bismarck and the Kriegsmarine*

[@dementious]

I absolutely love this story, I think it's the best one you've narrated yet. Artists that get PAID? FILTHY RICH artists who accidentally save the galaxy and aren't even aware of it? Truly a story out of this world.

[@neuralmute]

That's the wildest part of the story, tbh. Human society advancing to a point where artists actually get the funding to make their cool stuff!

[@allstarsreviewers2278]

@@neuralmute Maybe humanity is so rich that the artists shown here are actually the poor starving artists that nobody really pays attention to. That would be hilarious. They don't get enough funding to do the really cool stuff, in fact, their creativity is stifled by how little money they have.

[@davidvincent5701]

I hope the author makes another story about trying to talk down a human artist from doing a grand galactic art piece.

[@VexChoccyMilk]

I call this art piece "Melancholy" I created an entire galaxy populated entirely by blue giant stars.

[@DisIzDaName]

Human: "Think about it! We could demonstrate the duality of the political Left and Right, and the terrible winds of discontent that rage against those who refuse to turn the other cheek!" Xeno: "No means no, Bob! And stop trying to turn our binary stars into collossal asses that fart solar flares!"

[@wolfoffenris9951]

Alien: Humans, what did you do there Humans: ah its a human art thing, you wouldn't understand it

[@AgroSquerril]

tis complicated

[@tachyon8317]

"Pride of an artist A beast made of steel."

[@papasult11]

Now I imagine in the future, Artists would be like this, but more intense, especially R34 artists

[@voodoovince8001]

Oh no

[@vyrva5690]

@@voodoovince8001 Oh yes*

[@thegamehouse4245]

Oh noo

[@samueltrusik3251]

I can`t decide whether this is extremely realistic or extremely unrealistic, and this fact scares me.

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@Mugthraka]

Wait untill they see the Humans that are Wargaming fans and Hobbyists and recreated 1:1 scales Warhammer40k "models" to play "real life 40k"...

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@Kalorag]

Now thas a real galactic lvl tret hehe....

[@Brownie69571]

I would totally just make the Emporer or Chaos "real" to play that. or the fucking tyranids against this "major" threat

[@gmradio2436]

The "Art" of War.

[@reikolupus136]

An artist with top-technology at his reach will make some scary things XD.

[@AgroSquerril]

yarp

[@gp-1542]

“Wow this artwork is amazing who made it” “A depressed person made it and decided to cut his left ear off” “I’m sorry what?” “Yay a criticism came to him and apparently he thought cutting his ear was a appropriate response”

[@firedirewolf]

had to look up a dyson tree, funny I never knew there were thermogenic plants but i wrote one for an RP once as the cellulose structure was taken from it to make it where people didn't need to have a suit to be in space, it was just one part but it was a radiation absorber as it lived on super high mountains in the story as it preferred non competitive growth in the most absolute remote and cold places... so like many plants in these HFY's, it would not like a weed for anything cause it didn't grow where most things could even collect enough oxygen let alone survive the cold.

[@ABW941]

Hm, i assume that the Model-Bismarck was some 60Km in length, if we go by "normal" sf standards and assume that a carrier would be 600m, which is somewhere close to the average of most of the sf franchises.

[@torgomaghanyan7633]

So how big you wanted your ship to be? Human artist: Yes!

[@alfredsutton7233]

Artists often make good engineers, and some engineers make good artists, eg, naval architects, architects in general, aeronautical engineers, ... well you get the point.

[@steveradroach9101]

Human artist "Build a fully functioning life-size replica of The fucking Bismark and call it Art" Yeah sure,why not?😅

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@donanthebarbarian5177]

That wasn't a life size... If it's big enough to be assumed as a fleet by a FTL civilization it's gotta be 100:1 ratio at minimum probably more like a 1000:1 ratio.

[@Germlin]

@@donanthebarbarian5177 I mean it is life size technically.

[@JohnDoe-gs5qk]

@@Germlin How so?

[@gantzllat]

@@JohnDoe-gs5qk is larger than life

[@GravitWry]

Oh dear god, if they can make Bismark in space, that means they can make ANY ship from history, imagine this "Space Yamato"

[@AgroSquerril]

yup

[@actuallysatan7105]

Imagine if they also made every single WW2 ships retrofitted for space. Then one collaborator decided to introduce his AI tech to the original "artist" of the retrofitted ships along with a certain franchise about said ships with the sentience of human women with the memories of the ships. Said collaboration creating a new sentient species of superpower pseudo-humans aptly named as Ship girls by the the two collaborators hooked on the franchise.

[@curiousangel6321]

Omg I should know better then to listen to your narrations until after I finish healing from my surgery. That was so funny yet so very painful. Keep up the awesome work. I'm gonna go take some more painkillers and pass out.

[@yelenady6328]

Dont take to much and also not to be mean but whats the sugery for?

[@curiousangel6321]

@@yelenady6328 It is time for my scheduled dose anyway, only reason I'm up this late. I don't want to go into what the surgery was for but there are A LOT of stitches in my mouth.

[@yelenady6328]

@@curiousangel6321 i kind of feel your pain cause because when i got circumcised i got stitches in my foreskin

[@admDanRyan]

BISMARCK RULE THE VOID!!!

[@generalx13]

Made a model ship, but misread the scale as 1000:1 instead of 1:1000.

[@noppornwongrassamee8941]

I thought for sure that the alien federation was going to be revealed as just another human art piece.

[@msmaria5039]

And the system was renamed the Bismark in the artist's honor.

[@ChemySh]

lmao, I studied Fine Art (art that tends to go into art galleries) and can confirm that given enough money, these are the convoluted artworks that an artist would create... Hell, take a peek at your art friend's idea sketchbook and a few of these will already be there

[@neuralmute]

I too have an art degree, and can confirm everything here. I'd totally build a space Bismarck, just to see if I could. I won't even go into some of my crazier ideas here...

[@bandiras2]

I was excepting Yamato, but Bismarck is a good choice too!

[@me-42by42]

same

[@tygerion4404]

As an American- an Iowan, no less- I would've loved for it to be one of the Iowas... Probably would've been the Missouri, though, rather than Iowa herself, seeing as Missouri is the most famous of the Iowa sisters. ... Of course, my first thought was 'space battleship Yamato'. :P

[@calvingreene90]

But the pagoda mast ruins it.

[@Heidao623]

These are just the "normal" artists, just be happy they didn't see what anime artists do *Planet Sized Humanoids Appear In Great Numbers* Xenos: "Have the humans gods come to kill us?!" Otaku: "Hey, you guys wanna see my figure collection?"

[@greyclydesdale]

"That was no twin moon, it was Uzaki chan."

[@TrueFork]

Now I feel like making art, let's order some naval guns on ebay

[@ProperDaveXD001]

Yamato theme intensifies!

[@michaelyoung7261]

For the algorithm, for the Arts! For the future of Humanity!!!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the Algorithm

[@matejlieskovsky9625]

If that is what the artists are like, beware the engineers! Much less confusing than the artists, way more dangerous.

[@neuralmute]

What's scariest is when the artists, engineers, and biochemists start working together...

[@milo1k846]

Bismarck in motion! King of the ocean!

[@nickpossum3607]

I was really hoping it was the Yamato from Starblazers.

[@robertschumacher2707]

Shoulda been an anime fan taking his 'Space Battleship Yamato' out for a spin.

[@fadelsukoco3092]

The galactic senate should be grateful that the particular human artist valued historical accuracy and wasn't an Azur Lane fan. Having a giant nautical ship with giant humans on it is one thing, but I think the idea of an even larger human female with abnormal facial proportions wearing an exoskeletal apparatus composed of pieces of nautical ship hull and weapons would break the minds of the poor xenos.

[@robertschumacher2707]

@@fadelsukoco3092 Yeah, that would've been hydrazine-grade nightmare fuel.

[@BYERE]

I had to giggle at the “Elephants vs Donkeys” art piece… and all I could think of was that line from Pirates of the Caribbean 3… “This is madness!” “This is politics…”

[@danijellino1921]

A Kardashev Type 3 Humanity stumbling into a backwater Galaxy like.

[@GEWB2105]

When you hit Kardashev 2.5 and get creative, or bored. Or, honestly, probably both.

[@seanrobert9661]

Yes.....

[@ThomasTee]

Yup

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@Kalorag]

undersandeble

[@wobatmaster1796]

Battle ships are indeed art

[@AgroSquerril]

yarp

[@stephaniemeza1430]

As an artis i can confirm, this a enterely posible scenario

[@paytonjones432]

I ain't gonna lie I was expecting the "other" type of artist

[@AgroSquerril]

lol , thats an entirely different story

[@dilaleo1855]

Imagine in this Universe someone failed in an artschool

[@chrissoto7187]

By the algorithm! This is what I call real art

[@AgroSquerril]

For the Algorithm

[@rainfyre2694]

Me an AWCY? Member: laughs in “the cool”

[@NcrXnbi]

The real question is: Can we sell it to the highest bidder? -This comment was sponsored by MC&D LTD

[@no-eh9ox]

this video is accurate to a atom, it fucking great when a man makes a Bismark the size of a large asteroid

[@silvermoonlight4520]

Starbattleship Yamato vibe from this one

[@geoshark12]

PRIDE OF A NATION A BEAST MADE OF STEEL , BISMARK IN MOTION , KING OF THE OCEAN

[@davidteh3807]

Wait … did he just make a "DEATH MACHINE" and call it homework …

[@AgroSquerril]

sounds about right

[@Thule21]

🎶From the mist, a shape, a ship, is taking form And the silence of the sea is about to drift into a storm Sign of power, show of force Raise the anchor, battleship's plotting its course Pride of a nation, a beast made of steel Bismarck in motion, king of the ocean!🎶

[@Egilhelmson]

Why not a Battleship Yamato , if you get off on destroyed battleships? It was bigger, more wasteful, and more obsolete by the time of its deployment.

[@standard-carrier-wo-chan]

"I made a 100:1 model of Bismarck!" "You mean 1:100?" "No, 100:1, like 100x the original size." "Dear God..."

[@RealArcalian]

Greetings Mentlegent! For the Rhyhtym that is Algo The fact that it was quite close to human space should've been a clue but yeah, those Humans are basically God Tier

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the Bismarck!

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@henrypaleveda7760]

this one wasn't my cup of team but thanks for putting the same time and effort into this

[@AgroSquerril]

a pleasure

[@erushi5503]

Human artists are another kind of crazy ahahahaha

[@AgroSquerril]

that they are

[@Commonwealth_Imperium]

If given enough resources and science it would not surprise me this what would happen. Not to mention the clone replicas of the WWI. Human Zerg tactics sheesh.

[@Raggmopp-xl7yf]

I love this story! Saw it years ago - just found it again (YAY). Still as good as it was back then. Now if I can only find the Manny and Little Bird-buddy stories.....

[@grigori9061]

So early to early-mid game Stellaris empires meet very late game stellaris empire and are terrified of them but ultimately need help with the scourge. sounds about right

[@klappstock943]

For the Algorithm the story and the voice

[@Monster_Ink]

😂😂😂 Loving this! For the algorithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@seanrobert9661]

For the bard For the squrral For the algorithms

[@AgroSquerril]

For the Algorithm

[@dalemorgan8263]

We get a Neutral Zone AND all the targets? Sign me tf up

[@pheonexking1218]

GALACTIC BISMARK a song that sabaton would make

[@Kalorag]

As an artist myself, I can cofirm it.... I wuld if I could....

[@Grypht-vn2mz]

Awesome...just awesome 😎

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@gmradio2436]

I need help battling the Agro Swarms. I have: Turned the Mongolian Dessert in to my own nanite swarm.(30% Assemblers, 30% Disassemblers, 40% Neutralizers). A continuous EMP generator. A Super Gravity Point Generator. One orbital ion cannon (under construction). Please send help and tech. We must protect our socks.

[@kashkara_8943]

The algorithm burns for sacrifice

[@AgroSquerril]

For the Algorithm

[@mstrfool]

All I could think was... Please not rule 34... Please not rule 34....

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@allenmorgan1007]

For the Algorithm, For the Author(s), For the Disembodied Voice!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@SergeyWaytov]

That's very cool and fun story!)

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@aleisterlavey9716]

Well, better teach them what happened when pre ww2 an artist was denied the scholarship. Since then humanity decided to go soft on them and just let them do.

[@royalwolf27]

SAVE THE SOCKS!!

[@AgroSquerril]

i am , muhahahahahaha

[@danielgreed]

So two rabbits run into a spear. dinner!

[@oli3645]

BISMARCK IN MOTION, KING OF THE OCEAN (of darkness/space) HE WAS MADE TO RULE THE (gravity) WAVES ACROSS THE SEVEN SEAS!

[@karasuchrono]

lmao. I love this. It was hilarious!

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@hollyferay8131]

Awesome

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@peterwall8191]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 He blew away an extragalactic invader, with an art project! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@willgallatin2802]

Clearly NOT starving artists!

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@ShiroNekoDen]

for a second there I thought that the second one was about space battleship yamato but nope it's better XD

[@nos2342]

To please the algorithm is all

[@AgroSquerril]

For the Algorithm

[@anilin6353]

The model ship

[@AgroSquerril]

indeed

[@tarrantwolf]

That Bismark would have been around 28 miles long. Or 45.6 km. Assuming Nimitz sized crew.

[@wyrmhand]

I imagine the senate collectivity banging there heads on the table in front of them after that comment. 🤯🤯🤯

[@calvingreene90]

I would have gone with the Littorio.

[@riderstrano783]

Space battleship Bismarck

[@Kualinar]

So, a single geek piloting his «art project» single-handedly annihilated an invading fleet as he was testing his new «toy».

[@justsomejerseydevilwithint4606]

Where's the Imperium of Man and Tyranids they made for fun?

[@AlexTheShitpostPartypooper]

As a artist: I like to draw my enemies pregnant when they annoy me

[@bobsterclause342]

Flesh vs blue.

[@danielstellmon5330]

blurring the lines between artist and enginer.

[@seanrobert9661]

Second is first, first not second

[@greekgeekman]

That was funny, thanks 😁

[@AgroSquerril]

a pleasure

[@michaelhousewirth4400]

Only here to protect my other sock

[@AgroSquerril]

fair enough

[@davidvanhorn3340]

Bismarck, huh? Until that last moment I was picturing Space Battleship Yamato...the artist COULD have been an anime fan......

[@asandrewsilvaw]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the Algorithm

[@elfeater1760]

For the Algorithm11!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the Algorithm