Eliminate Unrealistic Expectations and Stop Comparing Yourself!

[@iainbean1]

As a white belt, I’ve been having a rough few weeks. Stupid mistakes paired with not being able to train as much as I wanted to lately, as well as starting to feel my age. I was never going to quit, but I definitely needed to hear this. Thank you very much.

[@jacobgomez2682]

Man I restarted at 36 and I can barely move after rolling a few days in a row my thighs are sore as hell, and as a mechanic I'm on my feet 12 plus hours a day but I'll keep at it, frustration is there but someday itll all click!

[@TheCerealQuiler]

Just wait until you get your blue belt and start overthinking, forgeting techniques, being tapped by the white belts that just started... You'll think you forgot everything and got worse than when you started.

[@TheSQLPro]

Stretch my friend - I'm almost 40 - the only want to continue is to be smart with your recovery. You can also supplement your BJJ with some of what I call "slow" strength exercises (such as Yoga/budokon), isometrics (planks, handstand, hanging on a pullup bar or rings etc), tempo exercises (for example slow squats, slow pushups), and some good compound body weight exercises that have bigger range of motion (dive bomber pushup for example does this and helps you stretch). There are no stupid mistakes, just opportunities to learn what to do and what not to do. I hope this helps. BJJ is an amazing journey.

[@Big_Shiesty75]

Purple Belt here. For the longest time, I felt I had to dominate every roll. Having trained for 7 years, I finally hit the wall. I took a 7 month break and when I came back, i focused more on learning the move and the technical side of it. If i get tapped by a white belt, I get tapped. I have grown tremendously by adopting this mindset, wish I would have had it earlier. Not only in moves, but in concepts. BJJ has become fun again, even on those nights when I get my ass handed to me. If i do something on a higher belt that I have never done before, regardless of what happens in that roll, I consider that a win for me. Small things but they make the biggest growth. Oss!

[@bassi1973]

"Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday, Not to Who Someone Else is Today" Jordan Peterson. This changed my life, not only my BJJ experience

[@joekarate9424]

I really like that quote! I’m definitely a bit to hard on myself!

[@briancompton2079]

Excellent! Now “try as hard as you can at one thing, and see what happens.” That’s my plan anyway!

[@rafbo2]

Great points, as an older BJJ practioner, I can relate. I was once told that expectations are resentments under construction

[@johannesheinrich9240]

I agree. Being without expectations is a major step to mental freedom

[@nassiridaniel]

Buddah said that the source of all suffering comes from your wanting desires. Something or rather like that. I feel expectations just set you up for disappointment, especially in this game! Great video Rick!!!

[@vic1111189]

This is the perfect message for me now, i cannot train as much as i want to because of my job, people that started same time with me is way better than me right now and i feel like shit. Thank you for posting this.

[@TheRepairSpecialist]

You explain things so wonderfully. As an lower blue belt I keep getting my ego smashed every session. After listening to you I realise that my ego can only get smashed because I have created an ego. If I can drop that ego then there’s nothing to get smashed any more. Just enjoyment in the sport. Thank you for your video. Craig

[@fred7705]

You are absolutely right. thinking this way allowed me to go throught my 6th year of bjj. Just try to be better than yourself and better you were the day before. 🤙🏽 even in a bad roll , the worst bjj night of your life there is a beautiful opportunity to learn and grow!

[@johnnyb2799]

Just the title makes me say RIGHT ON!!! One of our resident black belts told me, "enjoy the process". You are right on point in my opinion.

[@cazio2020]

Thank you, from a 43 year old purple belt that can only train 2-3 times a week. We strive for progress, not perfection.

[@bradleycannicott2348]

I’m pretty sure there was a quote from M J Fox a few years back that went something like ‘My happiness reduces in direct proportion with my expectations but increases in direct proportion with my acceptance’ In other words don’t expect too much and then when good things do happen it’s a welcome bonus - do your best everyday - stay safe

[@magcitrate]

In the beginning, I thought it was a marathon. Then, changed to a walk. Now, I’m thinking it’s a crawl…

[@davidsteinke1]

its a crawl for sure. 1.5 yrs in, 2 stripe white belt :)

[@surfingdonster7727]

Being a high competitive athlete my entire life as a 4th deg. blue and 55yrs old now I try to keep myself sane by reminding myself daily that the alternative of giving up is BY FAR MUCH WORSE and more damaging........ by the way Rick I train under David C. @ Helena BJJ

[@TrishCanyon8]

What a great opportunity for growth for you. ENJOY. And you are so right. Compete against yourself.

[@doublet630]

Love this video. I’m the oldest in our gym and quite new as well. My zeal to “keep up” has caused a few phenomena that I hadn’t fully banked on (injuries, bruised ego, etc)

[@johnmedige1612]

I'm guilty of this and reflect constantly about it... much to learn I have

[@loganlogan9095]

As a white belt who has been training for about a year and a half I really appreciate your words of wisdom. I have a wrestling background and have wanted to quit several times in the gi but continue in nogi since I am a lot better without the gi. I am not going to quit either but my frustration with the gi is getting better as I get more acclimated and more training. Thanks.

[@TheCerealQuiler]

Expectation is directly proportional to disappojntment when things go wrong. And on the other extreme, when things match the expectation we just get euphoric by over reacting and create more expectation for the next minutes, hours, days... just to build up the disappointment when it comes. But what we're not taught is that euphoria isn't happiness.

[@mybjj9643]

I recently subscribed and have really been enjoying your videos. Like you, I'm an older practitioner- mid 50s. I'm a purple belt and plan to keep at it until I'm a black belt and beyond. Your words of wisdom, such as this video, have really helped my perspective. I train at an MMA gym and some o the white and blue belts are beasts. Such great advice to stop comparing yourself with others.

[@crypticmonkey5470]

Nicely put, thanks for this. I agree, there are some tough times on the mats but when I think about it, its my perception and reaction to things that causes me to feel positive or negative. The challenge is within me not within anybody else, my ego is what I try to overcome the most.

[@songbird11332]

Thank you Rick, I really needed that today 🙏🙏🙏

[@hankowitz]

I love your videos and perspective, Rick. I hope you are enjoying your recent move, and appreciate what you put out. Much respect, sir 🙏

[@davidsteinke1]

beautiful video - applicable in LIFE, not just jiu jitsu.

[@dodzer]

pure stoicism, I'm a brown belt that's only realising this. So much of my frustration is in trying to "win" in training. Its a pointless weight I put on my own shoulders.

[@MarcinG1978]

'The greatest rival you'll ever meet will be yourself'.... Thanks so much for another brilliant video. Greetings from Ireland. 🙏🍷

[@nerdobject5351]

I think best way to explain this is separating an expectation vs. a goal. Going to the gym and setting a goal on hitting that submission you have been drilling. That’s a goal. Then you set the expectation that may not happen for reasons out of your control.

[@epfamily09]

Great video Rick. Thanks for sharing this 👏

[@dadmindmatters]

More awesome content about bjj related knowledge oss.

[@neklang9020]

Thank you for this valuable advice

[@momentum8640]

I agree. Well said.

[@ajabisong]

Very very beautiful words…🌺❤️

[@ianleemusic]

Thank you!

[@powerplantproductions2987]

These videos are great, thanks!

[@josephconnor2261]

I think this is good advice. Thank you :)

[@ravilangabriel6689]

Expectation often leads to disappointment!

[@mang6423]

Great video!!

[@theFormidable1]

Thank you! I needed to hear this right now.

[@SeamusBrady2010]

I find it hard to improve because of my age. It takes so long to achieve incremental improvements. But my body is suffering for it at times if I push to much. Twenty years ago I look at the young guys and see myself. I feel pressured to do better with them because they don’t understand how age affects. So I end up defending and not improving my overall game. It’s hard to accept.

[@wm6549]

Good advice. Thank you!

[@tededo]

Magnificent.

[@performxl]

Professor, the concepts you’re sharing are imo above many peoples ability to comprehend (for now), hence the pushback/resistance. Keep on producing this wonderful series of videos. I hope your move to California y going as expected! (See what I did there? 😂)

[@amorestperpe]

EMS doing that he's dead but I'm going to still make it look like there's something we can do CPR.

[@wishanaigawood]

Comparison is the thief of joy