what I eat in a day - anorexia recovery - DECISIONS - granola, BANANA?! 2 pastries?! CUPCAKES, YAS

[@MadisonTiahn]

You can see and hear the determination in you to get better. It is amazing to see. You still focus and talk about food repetitively but in time that will subside. So much love for you. X

[@SELVIA60]

Madison Killer I swear u watch exactly what I watch I see u around EVERYWHEREEE

[@Mizuzuable]

I hope I won't sound rude or anything but I'm wondering... As an ex-anorexia, I gained weight pretty quickly as soon as I started to eat correctly.. But when I watch Elzani's videos, I think she didn't change that much, regarding the way she eats in her videos.. I guess she is still restricting a lot when she is not filming : ( this is really important to do a really deep change, and not only in front of camera : / so... good luck!!

[@Rusne20]

Not Possibeul i literally gained all of my weight within a year and more with huge slip ups. I had to gain 15kg plus so its really not possible how she’s not gaining

[@cloroxbleach7909]

i gained 25kgs in less than 4 months

[@gracemurphy6140]

I totally agree, she’s just eating properly for the camera and when she’s not filming she continues to restrict herself

[@Rusne20]

@@gracemurphy6140 and not to sound harsh but she's not really getting better mentally, the way she talks about food or acts when she eats, the obsession over any type of food definitely didn't get better

[@gracemurphy6140]

Rue _ yes definitely agree and it’s quite sad to see. I’m going to be avoiding her videos for a while and might come back a year later or something to see if anything will change. Hopefully for her family’s sake it will

[@carolineharper664]

"nothing is the right decision so just make a decision" thank you. i needed to hear this!

[@Dolph1nie]

omgosh I just started reading your comment and then she started saying it... WhAt ArE ThE ChAnCeS XD

[@moldz1508]

I know it’s a gradual process, but I feel like your prolonged talking before eating + asking permission from your mom/anyone/the high heavens to eat is getting worse. Eliminating fixations/rituals/small spoons etc. Is likely a gradual process but reintroducing Foods without working on those isn’t really gonna do much. If you’re super averse to therapy, I hope you watch Tabitha Farrar, she is super insightful but doesn’t see therapy as an absolute necessity in recovery.

[@AssassinKillua15]

Idk how people can say she's made big progress. The reality is...is that she hasn't. She's supposedly eating huge portions but hasn't really gained anything in 8 months? That's not a good sign. She's still always looking for confirmation when bringing up food or about to eat it. Always has intense looks in her eyes. Her disordered thinking hasn't gotten any better. It's just masking itself regarding youtube.

[@orlyio]

I noticed her eyes when she's about to eat, it looks like fear...??

[@jimenacordova8836]

It's hard to gain the weight back

[@Rusne20]

i literally gained all of my weight within a year and more with huge slip ups. I had to gain 15kg plus so its really not possible how she’s not gaining

[@Rusne20]

and how much she speaks about food isn’t a good sign, at first i literally would watch tv or smth to not think about food yet her only topic i hear is always food

[@lauraeimre3056]

@@jimenacordova8836 It's not actually. When you starve your body , it starts storing everything it can when you start eating again.We had 3500 kcal diet at the hospital anad even when I gained weight slower than others there, I still gained

[@its_msk]

Something seems very off. I have gone through ED for years and years. I've known many people as well. For so many months to go by and Elzani looks like she has hardly put on any weight...her arms are still stick thin and legs as well. I get that your organs get replenished first etc. And YES I know everyone recovers at different rates but the TRUTH is...most if not all people were eating this amount of junk food for months and months after having slowed their metabolism to shit and subsisted on like 300 calories a day, ONCE you start ingesting food the way she is, you would put on weight, and NOT 5 pounds in 8 months. It would be a significant amount. Even in treatment and refeeding in clinic, you gain weight quickly just from the extra fluid in your system... So either, she eats like this for camera only and her other days she severely restricts to maintain her low weight, she purges (but I think this is unlikely) or she works it all off as in exercise addiction as many anorexics have. PHYSICALLY after 8 months of eating the amount she shows on video she would be much heavier. What's up?

[@jessican6451]

She needs to eat more fatty foods not just sugary foods

[@its_msk]

@@jessican6451 sugar converts to fat unless you have a high metabolism like an athlete would. Anyone who has had serious anorexia and eats the way she is wouldnt be in good athletic shape to be converting her sugars to energy. It would store as fat. She isnt storing fat, or much of anything for that matter 🤔

[@jennypino9901]

My boyfriend is not anorexic, he never had any problem with food, he eats a lot, like...a lot...lol...but he is skinny as Elzani...he also tried to put on weight by eating 6000 calories every day...he also try to take suplements, drink bodybuilders protein shakes...also try to eat a lot of junk food...and he only put half a pound in 4 months...it's just his metabolism...i know Elzani has an eating disorder and it's alarming to see her so thin...but maybe she is like my boyfriend, she has problems to gain weight but doesn't have to mean she's not eating enough...

[@its_msk]

@@jennypino9901 anorexia vs someone with a very fast high metabolism are 2 very different situations. Anorexia tends to stall metabolism which is why if you starve yourself, you tend to gain weight after quite quickly on fewer calories because you're metabolism is not functioning properly. Not the same for everyone of course but it's not at all similar...anorexia and having just a fast metabolism

[@iamsimplybee]

Exactly my thoughts. She doesn't seem to be on a meal plan either. If she were, she wouldn't be doing all these videos trying other peoples' foods and such. I suspect she's either restricting heavily on the days she doesn't film, or potentially exercising/purging. It's putting a dangerous notion out to her ill followers that you can recovery and not have to gain.

[@honeyglisten]

Proud of you Elzani! You're persistent in challenging yourself. So important. You got this, girl! 👊💖

[@infinitylucy7744]

Hey girl,, I just wanna say you have inspired me massively. Your content has completely changed my mindset about food, I'm also a recovering anorexic and after subscribing to your channel a month back, you have influenced me to change all of my bad eating habits. I'm now eating 3 meals & 2 snacks a day, which doesn't sound like a lot but it's a massive improvement from what I was eating. You should feel beyond proud about how far you have came & how many people yu have inspired, me being one of the many of us! As I've had my ED for about 3 years now I am bored of being scared of foods so I am really trying to push away all of my bad thoughts. Thank you for all the help my gorgeous💞💞💞

[@martinaschriebl1371]

dear elzani! why you are not regularly on medical supervision? (weight, blood picture) For me, it is very confusing to see that you don't gain weight. In my recovery, I have gain weight very quickly at the beginning and that is also very normal for very strong underweight because first the body stores everything he gets.

[@mimomimo880]

That's what i thought cause i also gained weight quickly

[@valenbibi]

Mimo Mimo i think she still obsessed with food, and lying to herself, saying "i'm recovering" but the truth is that she isn't recovered and i think if she stills making those videos, she will never be recovered

[@crazymistake5293]

Martina Schriebl she has gained weight though 🤔

[@martinaschriebl1371]

@@crazymistake5293 there is hardly a difference to see. In case of extreme underweight, the body usually stores everything it receives and increases in weight quickly. for the most part it is water. she definitely eats enough calories in the videos. That's why it's strange to me that she does not feel better physically

[@throughrose-colouredeyes6284]

@@crazymistake5293 if you are underweight or are malnourished, your body can't withstand that. we simply cannot survive and keep our organs functioning if we remain without our fat stores - in most cases, the body can only stay starved for so long before it gives up on us. when we have no fat stores, our body turns to our muscles for an energy source, and it literally eats away at them. our hearts our muscles, so they turn into like ticking tomb tombs. in hospitals (and outside of hospitals if you are being treated under the care of professionals) they hope to have you eating a diet that makes you gain a much necessary 1.5kgs per week or so. elzani has been eating what she may believe is enough, but it isn't enough to sustain her body and save her life. that's why "rapid" weight (which takes anywhere from a few weeks to a few months if all goes smoothly) is the logical answer, because you if you are quite underweight, you will eventually die if there isn't much change.

[@maiblue48]

I dont want to sound harsh.. just real here. As an anorexia sufferer for years now, I absolutely know this disease knowes to play tricks on individual's mindset, hence you think youre in recovery because you now eat and even challenging yourself. But truth speaks louder than anything Elzani, and you dont look like you keep on track of your nice 3 rules of abundance, eating nice foods and eating lots when youre not vlogging. I feel as if you try to sell yourself and us a different reality of the real one and thars a shame

[@Hazeydaze92]

I said something similar on another video. Hope she's getting the help she really needs.

[@PringlesOriginal445]

but what makes you think this? I am just curious

[@oopsiedaisy6096]

@@Chermop it's not harassment. They're just showing their concern in a constructive way

[@NancyMitchell]

@@Chermop It took me about a year to start finally showing a healthy weight again. I was tracking my food (controversial, but I wanted to ensure I was eating enough) and it did take a long time. Our bodies are not machines, they are biomechanically engineered to use food for survival and not "fat storage". When an individual has been in a deficit for a long period of time, the body makes sure it uses every ounce of extra food for survival (menstruation, digestion, hormone production, etc). So with this in mind, that's why a lot of people in recovery don't show too many signs of weight gain. Our body does not work in numbers and the calories in/out theory is slowly proving itself to be unreliable. PS. Keep fighting everyone

[@АлександраЧудная]

Elzani, your mother is adorable woman, she is so beautiful, kind, understanding and positive person. I want to be a mother like her in the future

[@tpr5522]

Every time before you eat you say “I’ve never had this in my life” or “first time in ages”, it’s like a tick to make yourself feel better about eating it. You should try to stop this.

[@uritje]

Maybe she needs that at the moment, I don't think there is anything wrong with making it easier for herself to eat a variety of foods.

[@tpr5522]

Zukira Bapsae I disagree. It’s still her eating disorder coming through. I was just trying to make her aware of it so she can stop.

[@uritje]

@@tpr5522 I can see your point, it's probably indeed her eating disorder. However she's conquering many bad habits she has already, she's still human and can't do everything at once. As she's obviously a perfectionist, I think this comment makes her rather down and harsh on herself which can trigger a (small) relapse since she's still finding a new way to cope with her emotions (although it can also make her more motivated, but personally I don't think it will effect her that way). Besides, I don't think this habit is very harmful, I could be wrong though. Also she's still starving even though she eats enough, her body still needs a lot of food which makes her still obsessed with it. When she has her weight restored and more used to eating normally, she most likely will grow out of this habit naturally. I of course respect it if you don't agree with me, I just wanted to show you another side to this this subject.

[@ilikeyoutube836]

As long as she eats what difference does it make?

[@tpr5522]

Kym Jacobs lol I thought you were done replying to me 🤪 seems like I got under your skin hehe. Welcome to the internet friend.

[@adagjerding686]

you do not have to find out what your favourite food is and you need to stop obsessing over it because it feeds the side of your ed that is obsessed with food being "worth it". You have moods for food, it's not like I never eat pears because apples are my favourite fruit. No, you eat what you fancy in the moment and let that be it. Sometimes I really crave pears, but I don't then tell myself "Oh but your favourite fruit is apples, so you have to eat that" because I don't need to restrict my cravings or moods. They are natural and never a "waste of calories". Nothing ever is because it's not like once you've reached the amount of calories your body needs you HAVE to stop eating and cannot have more calories. Your body will tell you when it is full and when it is not. When you crave something and are hungry it is a sign you should eat because after all, your body knows your body's needs the best. Better than your head, better than the clock, better than a calorie counter, better than ANYTHING. Stop thinking you are only allowed to eat delicious food, or your favourite foods. It'll just fuel your fears instead of your body. The order of meals and snacks is only a guideline for your minimum to make sure you're eating something. Your body may tell you to eat more, and at those times remember that your body is the smartest when it comes to knowing if you should or shouldn't have food. Your BODY, not your MIND, especially now that your mind is affected by something else.

[@nias2156]

Ada Gjerding hey I know it was meant for elzani, but that whole part about the feeling of making calories « worth it » otherwise they’re just « wasted » is something I’ve been reaaally struggling with so that was really helpful! Yeah I just really needed this so thank you!

[@adagjerding686]

@@nias2156 I'm glad it helped!

[@marieburkhead5272]

This is a great comment!

[@jessbamford6569]

The fact that you are still so obsessed/intrigued with food shows that you are not eating enough. You can lie to everyone but not to yourself.

[@psychedlicsouljam1995]

She never said she was better. That sounded a bit harsh.

[@psychedlicsouljam1995]

I've been watching her since day one and she's come a long way and she's still got a long way to go! Look at her before and now. Shes not as frail. She breaks down all the time and is brave enough to post it online...

[@fantastischfish]

Each video lasts for about 30 minutes. That's 30 minutes out of a 24 hour period. There's an awful lot of other time in the day where she's not filming herself and where she's not talking about food.

[@elizabeth6540]

If you were trying to “go against your eating disorder” or “doing the opposite,” you would try to avoid excessive food talk and obsessions. Yes, food obsessions are normal when underweight, but that doesn’t mean you can’t challenge them

[@Radisgrek]

I feel like the last clip is a perfect example of mental hunger. Next time you feel that way take it as a clear sign your body is asking for more food, in this case it was cheerios. Don't dismiss mental hunger and listen to ALL your cravings. Keep pushing, you're doing so well x

[@Snickerdoods.x]

Grace Walno How can you tell if you’re having mental hunger or just emotional eating or eating because you’re bored? My mom’s support group for parents of kids with eating disorders (although I’m an adult) told her that eating without physical hunger is just eating out of boredom or emotional eating, which completely goes against what I’ve been told... that if you’re thinking about food, you should eat. It’s all so confusing.

[@Radisgrek]

Gina Marie A support group of people who haven't suffered themselves can only speculate what our experience is like. If we have restricted ourselves physically (calorie limits/exercise etc) or mentally (food rules/"off limits" foods) etc or we're under our body's natural weight, it will tell us to eat more and cause preoccupation with food. Google/KZbin "Tabitha Farrar emotional/boredom eating" it might help you make sense of it. Remember our bodies are smart and know what they want, we just have to trust them and listen x

[@ottaviazwillenberg3168]

@@Snickerdoods.x that's really damaging advice -- anyone in recovery from a restrictive ED should never be told to stop eating or not eat if they want to!

[@Radisgrek]

Mimi When you come from a restrictive past where you've not allowed yourself certain foods for so long, you HAVE to give yourself unconditional permission to eat all foods. That teaches you true food freedom and gives food less power and novelty over time. A lot of obese people will chronically diet then "fail" at their diet because it's unrealistic and makes them crave whatever they've told themselves they can't have, then they binge on said food, then they feel shame/regret/guilt/disgust and go on another diet and repeat over years resulting in the dreaded yoyo diet cycle and inevitable yoyoing of their weight (usually gaining more in the long run). This is why diets don't work and aren't sustainable. Only when you truly believe in your mind that all food is always allowed will it not have such a tempting pull about it and people will eat it in more "moderate" amounts. You can disagree but either way, Elzani is not an obese individual and need not worry about eating "too much". She needs to eat above and beyond what a regular person would, that is healthy for her, health is individual and subjective.

[@crazymistake5293]

I’m a kid in care with anorexia and I wish I had a family like yours🙁💜I’m glad you have people that can comfort you at anytime of the day or night xxxx your videos are so comforting for someone like me 🙂

[@darcy6068]

Every video you seem more determined and more happy. Keep up the good-work , love your vids!

[@mariadiaz106]

I love how excited you get to try new food. 😊 Great advice about if you have to ask if it's enough, then it most likely isn't. Adding more won't harm you but having less will. 💜

[@fabfourfever674]

Elzani, you're doing great. I would just love to see more well-rounded videos..like you engaged in hobbies or activities outside of your home. I understand that facing your fear foods is a part of your recovery, but I imagine recovery is also about not letting food obsession dominate your life. I hope you decide to show us more of your non-food life. Keep fighting, sweetie. 😊 xx

[@mulattopapi9741]

The amount of rituals and reassurance you need is out of this world 🤯🤯🤯🤯!

[@jakiazhhabzgstaruiszjjzg3165]

It's great that you are trying new food and stuff but you have to increase your portion sizes ! Stay strong honey 💓

[@raspberrydream7329]

Melissa Pani - I don’t understand your answer....she commented that Elzani needs to eat more....and so did you. What was wrong with the comment?

[@cosmicmoonlily]

Elzani I appreciate your triumphs and efforts and you have done brilliant in some aspects, but you need PROFESSIONAL help, you obviously can't do this alone. Family can only help out so much and being in an environment where you got sick / were sick... it's triggering. It's not weak or stupid to admit that you need some help. It's blatant that something else is going on here; whether it be restricting off camera or purging through exercise etc. Some behaviours are still very much there, too. Do you think you'd recover better and healthier without the pressure of an audience to "please?" We'd rather you leave and get better efficiently than you trying to do it alone. Please try to get yourself properly better MENTALLY first otherwise you will never be able to cope with the physical recovery.

[@silvanaleiva858]

hi elzani, you certainly look much better but it seems that some days you eating more and others days way to less, I think it is better for you have some help from nutritionist, I amaze that with that all food you eat if you do every day you should put weigh quicker but doesn't be like it,anyway keep going

[@lifesong8484]

She doesn't look any better though. Her face is sinking in, her skin has lost even more colour & her hair looks thinner than ever. These are signs she is more malnourished than she was in much earlier videos. I hope that she finds the courage to attempt an honest recovery journey.

[@mexicanmomma5119]

When I was a teen I had body issues just like most ... but it took a turn for the worst at one point. I became anorexic and then eventually bulimic. It wasn’t all at once but it grew from bad to worse.... I see my old self in you so much.... please don’t turn from one extreme to another. People on the outside can see you eating but only you know what you do afterwards. This comment in any way isn’t meant to be rude or attack you or for you to feel every one thinks they know. We don’t know it all. We know what we see. Mental health is something we all struggle with in some way and we deal with stress differently. Keep going! Keep pushing forward! 💜

[@bboooobbyy]

you need professional help on your path to recovery... and you need to eat more! get well

[@louisecochrane3738]

I started watching your channel 7 months ago and you have come a long way in terms of providing your body with food. I'll be honest, you have helped me a little with my recovery however, I've been triggered by your videos a lot and it's my fault, for continuing to watch your videos. I can see you are in recovery, but it doesn't look like you have gained any weight since I started watching you - also, it doesn't look like you eat much for someone who is in recovery from an eating disorder. I obviously cannot tell you what you can and cannot post, but think about where you really want to be - I understand challenging yourself is a good achievement, but, the portions you consume are not doing you any good - perhaps you need a structured meal plan to guide you through recovery is essential. I still will watch you and hope you progress to where you need to be x

[@Jassy23]

Is no one else a little bit unsettle by her mannerisms? I can’t put my finger on it but I’m half terrified honestly

[@Jassy23]

Ochre Clay I’m relieved I’m not the only one. Remember when marina Joyce went weird? Elzani’s mannerisms remind me of that

[@cookedapple]

Very very very similar to Marina Joyce!!!!! The accent probably contributes to the likeness but my gosh the mannerisms are exactly the same!!!!

[@sportyprincessxo]

What does this mean???

[@lagoskids8011]

No beef but I don’t really think describing someone as weird is helpful, keep in mind she has mental health struggles. (if you’d had a very isolated life for many years while suffering with a mental illness that almost killed you - you might be abit weird too) Bare in mind she isn’t in uni/school like her sisters, she doesn’t currently have a job, relationship etc. She is recovering - she’s basically a tourist in the land of food. She’s vlogged for ages, look back on older videos you can see she has improved a lot mentally & physically.

[@kayqueenbeanz]

It’s probably partly the ed, I know I act very strangely sometimes especially when I’m restricting. I’ve alarmed people before with my mannerisms I think, cause I’m so spacey and out of it

[@meryem2762]

You've come a long way Elzani I'm so proud of you ❤

[@kawaiichou3631]

Oh my God, your mom looks so kind and gorgeous! 🧡 And you are also gorgeous Elzani, specially when you are proud for challenging yourself! Keep being strong lovely, you are a worrier!

[@francescafoster854]

Elzani, you look like you're doing so well. You're very lucky to have a family who support you. Make them proud, I know you will :)

[@margazms]

Gosh I am SO beyond proud of you girl!!

[@lydiabailey1708]

You’re so amazing Elzani!!! I’ve watched you from the start and it’s been so incredible watching you blossom into a truly beautiful and inspiring lady. Keep on fighting, this world needs people like yourself!❤️

[@allinicole7133]

Again, so glad I found this channel. I watched the 5000 cal challenge one too. Im so scared of gaining weight fast and being deemed a fake because of it and also the guilt I feel so badly after eating because I feel I really dont deserve it(I dont as I just burden everyone I pass) and youre proving that it isnt the end of the world even if you are normal and not burdening people and have mental health issues not burdening people and I burden people. But you show that it’s a good thing to eat. To eat no matter what and that if I deserved it, I could possibly enjoy food one day and not have this full breakdown bc I feel so awful now. And I just feel the weight piling on fast on me while you just are sick, but normal sick with anorexia. I really wish I wasnt like this and people would be celebrate like you and support, but no one thinks I deserve to eat or that I am that sick even though I was hospitalized for my anorexia recently. It’s been a week. They dont care much anymore about me eating as they dont think im struggling or sick anymore.

[@AngeRose47]

Your mom is such a great mother .

[@molly_1976]

Wow, you are so amazing! So glad to see that you are challenging your fears ... about food. Keep up the good positive attitude and you are really inspiring to many other out there who might be sick and also in recovery from anorexia. ♥

[@summerhumble9386]

I know my opinion is so irrelevant but since she did the 5000 calorie challenge so easy wouldn’t that mean that that she could and should be eating like that all the time ?

[@lauraeimre3056]

It should be. Standard hospital diet is 2500- 3500 kcal and everyone is able to eat that after a while

[@AngeRose47]

Wow you come such a long way.First time I saw your first vid I cried. Even tho I dont know you I am so proud of you .You are doing amazing. Keep up the fight you will beat this.

[@holachi6679]

I unsubscribed from this channel 3 months ago and commented saying that I could no longer watch as your content was very triggering and toxic to the recovery community. I did say that I would check back in and hope you had made the progress you kept saying you would. I am shocked to see after 3 more months that you almost look thinner, at least definitely no bigger. I have skimmed through some recent videos and see you do a lot of challenges, this really isn’t a good idea for you you need to establish yourself in recovery first. In your what I eat in a day videos you are claiming to be eating for recovery and this is still false because you’re eating nowhere near enough. In a lot of your videos your portions are the same size if not smaller than 3 months ago, and you skip snacks etc. Sad and disappointed to see that the ED still has total control over you. Yes you don’t cry as much and “seem” to be coping better but I think the ED realised you weren’t going to get away with it much longer that way and now you’re going with the “tricking people into thinking you’re in recovery” method. But you’re only fooling yourself Elzani and only you and those who love you will suffer. It’s clear on days you’re not filming you’re heavily restricting. I see so many others who have also suffered with anorexia (like I have) who are commenting that you’re showing no other side effects of recovery and making it look almost glamorous and sunshine and unicorns which it is not!!! and this isn’t reality, you’re promoting a recovery channel, you should be talking about the reality of what to expect in recovery and unfortunately I don’t think you’re talking about that because you’re not experiencing any of it as you’re not actually doing what you’re claiming to be. I won’t be re subscribing yet. I Hope in another 3 months you’ve made real progress, take care Elzani.

[@elizabethcardelli]

That's quite harsh, but I can't help to agree with what your saying her mum is trying to be supportive but you can see in her eyes she is desperate for her to get help, it must be so hard for her to see her daughter do this to herself. I wonder if Elzani has other interests focusing on food all day isn't particularly healthy either.

[@holachi6679]

Beth Cardelli harsh maybe but as someone who’s been in her position eventually harsh is the only option. You’re right, her whole life revolves around food and this is obviously a huge part of the disorder but if she really wanted to recover properly she would be trying to get out of that and incorporate food into her day as other people normally would. Although she needs more than the normal person there’s ways to do this without having your day revolve around it. I also understand this takes time, which is something I’ve noticed people say a lot of the comments. Things like “it doesn’t happen over night” etc but she has had time! Months and months of time, years even.

[@gemma_dancer4169]

I literally did the exact same, stopped watching for a few months and this is my first video back.

[@tammyramsden7414]

I want her to gain weight so bad iv been watching for a few days I really hope she does it

[@angietrif]

So proud of your progress! I hope you see how far you're coming. Even though the screen I can truly see a new glow in you and it's continuing to shine brighter! I know every single day is a struggle but that's what makes you stronger and stronger! Lots of love YOU GOT THIS GIRL! YEAH BABY

[@jody8898]

i wish you could upload everyday, im quite worried about you with your progress in your “recovery”. i know it can be hard sometimes but please do understand that there’s other people out there that also worry for you. no hate but please try and eat more. once you’re recovered, you’ll be so much happier and free..trust me. 💗

[@xxooLaurenxxoo1]

You're doing so amazing elzani i am way proud of you. Keep up the amazing work, you're so beautiful. Something to work on maybe is to try to stop saying "I've never had this before" or "do you think ill like it" before eating a food. I say just go for it, no questions, just enjoy :)

[@chloesjourney2015]

You’ve come so far, what an inspirational young woman💖

[@aylinangelina7513]

So proud of you Elzani! You shine brighter with every video you do :) try dried banana chips with the cornflakes it’s amazing !

[@jemilah8970]

This was an amazing video! its so cool to see the development in your eating and that you are really persisting with challenging what your eating disorder is saying! :) looking forward to seeing you continue to grow and get better!

[@NancyMitchell]

TW - Calories (THIS IS JUST MY EXPERIENCE) It took me about a year to start finally showing a healthy weight again. I was tracking my food at about 2300kcal (controversial, but I wanted to ensure I was eating enough) and it did take a long time. Our bodies are not machines, they are biomechanically engineered to use food for survival and not "fat storage". When an individual has been in a deficit for a long period of time, the body makes sure it uses every ounce of extra food for survival (menstruation, digestion, hormone production, etc). So with this in mind, that's why a lot of people in recovery don't show too many signs of weight gain. Our body does not work in numbers and the calories in/out theory is slowly proving itself to be unreliable. I suffered from secondary amenorrhea that lasted another year after being in recovery, so it did take a long time for my body to get to a point where it was happy to menstruate again.

[@tate-7210]

wow you're helping me soo much with my fight agianst anorexia! ur such a inspiration to me

[@sharonlam2026]

guys can I just say that recovering from an ED is not just a linear process. I’m not sure whether it is actl helpful to judge her by/make comments on how little she eats in a video or how much weight you think she has put on or should put on. She needs all the time, love and support to recover. And it would be much more encouraging (from my own experience) to applaud the small steps she’s taking. In fact, if I were in her shoes I’ll feel slightly hurt by ppl saying that I’m not trying hard enough or restricting when I’m not videoing or faking recovery. In recovery, every small step forward goes a long way but every step back teaches us a lot as well. Even though she has put her journey on the internet it is still a v v personal learning process.. and honestly as a community that is not within her direct personal circle, I think we should give her that much encouragement and support with as little judgment as possible.

[@b8665]

Elzani u r the cutest human alive :)))

[@goldencloset1554]

you changed so much, and i’m not talking about your body, of course you look sooo much healthier and pretty and everything. but your expressions, your face, they’re so relax and shine, you’re so funny and happy right now. we and your family are realizing that you literally trying to recover, and that’s literally heaven, cause you deserve and i’m so proud and omg i don’t have words to describe. you’re doing AMAZING and that’s incredible. go ahead angel, we’ll always be here for you, to support you and say to you that you’re a strong and amazingly human being ❣️

[@jessicaproietti9915]

I've been through exactly what you are going through at a weird time with my ED about 6yrs ago. What happened was I almost died from anorexia and then during gaining weight I got to about where you are and started obsessing with food like never before and I thought it was a good thing that I was soo interested in different foods and actually eating them but it wasn't it was just more OCD and eating disorder related business just in a form that wasn't killing me anymore. I went for about a year like this and trying new recipes and stuff and even created my own food blog which got loads of attention but it was just more obsession with food it was still my ED the whole time I now look back and believe. I remember one day I made like 100 cinnamon scrolls and then didn't know what to do with them all I thought I was loving it but I was just obsessing with food in a different way and it all seemed very exciting to me at the time I thought I MAY become the next masterchef the way I was going! I remember aswell I kept wanting to try heaps of new foods and kept thinking every single bit of food I had was the most awesomest thing on the planet. One thing I note is that I remember aswell I would constantly come up with reasons to be making the food and constantly was re-assuring others that what I was doing was awesome. Anyhow yeah I went through the same thing and my weight was still low considering the amounts I was eating aswell. Luckily that phase has never hit me again it was soo weird just like another way to obsess over food and it wasn't passion it was desperation to kick the illness. I still have an ED I've never fully recovered I did do well for a while after that phase though and I've had some really weird stuff happen with my ED over the years. I truly hope you recover fully I've had a few normal periods where I'll literally have healthy food breakfast, lunch, dinner and maybe a couple of snacks but it's been rare for me but I consider that normal as I wasn't thinking about the food only keeping it healthy for my body. I have great awareness of what would be considered a normal healthy diet nowadays it's just sticking with it that is a struggle. Hope you fully recover watching your video's is sooo similar to watching the ones I took of myself during my food craze period. I think it's super good to see you eating I think anyone in the world would say keep going it keep doing this it is definitely better than not eating I was on my way up when I was like this and so you must be to yay!! My food phase the only one I've had with extreme interest in food and making foods and trying to recover by eating all sorts of things was right after I got out of an almost 3mth stay in hospital for my ED which was a forced stay I had no choice as I was soo sick so they made me stay and I absolutely hated it was horrid I was willing to try anything to kick the ED rather than go back to hospital once I got out I was sooo scared of going there again. Jess.

[@genius2655]

Honestly, I relapsed and gained weight, almost back to my original weight, in the time she has gained visibly nothing

[@toriamigo]

She eats a lot, but doesn't seem to gain, I find that really odd now

[@joannesberkshirescenes9414]

I haven't watched her videos for s couple of months, I thought she looked better after a while, she looks thinner again how she looked before she took recovery seriously.

[@sunnyD9]

You’re progressing so much! Just keep eating whatever you crave! Keep listening to your hunger and not your E.D. You’re doing so well. You’ve come so far.

[@louwxlls]

Well done Elzani!! We’re all so proud of you, you’re killin it gal! ALSO your mum looks INCREDIBLE in that yellow top/black pants combo! Beautiful ladies🌱✨💓🧡♥️

[@louwxlls]

Mimi she’s doing better than she was, you should encourage that - whether you’re concerned or not.

[@lauraeimre3056]

It's so sad to watch these videos :( YOu can see how the disorder still has control over her. I have been through recovery and I know the process is hard but she's not getting better. You can see the fear and obsession in her eyes when she sees or talks about food. And when she talks, gosh, her brain can't work fast enough, you can see it's not easy for her to talk. I just wish her the best and hope she will find a specialist that can help her.

[@KathiStrahl]

you are amazing, and you help me so much to recover, with your vids. lots of love xx❤️

[@jasmintraill8530]

I think you are doing mint !!! You are helping me so much through all of this and it is so helpful to see someone progresssjng so much and developing a true relationship with food again. So inspiring!!!! Make me feel like I can do it even in the worst days

[@lauraa8521]

well done Elzani! I'm so proud of you eating all the pastries as I know that used to be (kinda might still be) a fear food for you, but you're doing so well on your journey and I love these vlog style videos xx 💞

[@ashleydavis132]

I haven't even finished the video yet but I'm so proud of you love! Seeing how far you've come and you continuing to fight every day is so inspiring! I love you💕

[@shirleytx7]

Please get professional help. So many people care about you.

[@Hazeydaze92]

That granola sounds amazing - hope they bring it back this year!

[@oliviawheeler7140]

I’m really enjoying your videos as a new subscriber :) well done on your journey! I’m recovering from diabulimia myself and know how tough it can be. If you enjoyed the quiche I’d recommend the sun dried tomato and goats cheese focaccia from m and s - along the same lines and absolutely delicious! X

[@russianbluecat]

To put it kindly, Elzani, I believe you need medical help. Inpatient or some type of heavier outpatient. There is barely any weight restoration, and you seem to look less healthy than before.

[@Jadeikens]

Every video I can see you getting more clarity of mind, like lest brain fog causing slow speach, I’m so proud of you🥰💕🙏🏻

[@cariedge]

U are sooo amazing Elzani!!!!! Throughout the video i just want to say im so proud of u every time u challenged yourself and that is what u should be anyways! U need to be proud of yourself for doing such a blasting good job :D

[@emsst2572]

After reading the comments I was thinking the exact same thing I’ve watched your videos since Christmas your 22 but your almost childlike I’ve watched the videos regarding your mum and I’m hoping your all doing well and she’s recovering but after watching those videos I thought to myself if your mum being ill won’t make you realise how precious life is and how you can’t take time with your loved ones for granted but you seem to have stayed the same regarding your eating and your still obvious obsession with repeating things even your words “best day ever” and “ it’s amazing” about everything is honestly jarring I love watching you and your family elzani but honestly who are you trying to convince us or yourself ??

[@ashlynnemilton1027]

I have no idea who you are but i'm so proud of you!! you're amazing and so stunning

[@jessicamarsden1039]

Yesss you have come sooo far 🎊🎊all looks so good 😍😍well done xx love you so much xx

[@watchingyou7945]

Elzani, when you don’t know what foods to choose, just have both! That’s what I do when I can’t make up my mind.❤️😘

[@maferalvarado8308]

I’m so proud of you! You look radiant and happy, please hold on to it, I know how hard it can be sometimes ♥️♥️♥️

[@tpr5522]

You still look so thin :/ are you sure you are eating enough?

[@kecrn4132]

Taylor P - it takes time to restore weight! Elzani was extremely underweight...it takes many many months.

[@its_msk]

@@kecrn4132 no, it actually shouldn't take 8 months to put on a few pounds. Even in hospital being re fed it would never take this long to put on a few pounds. I feel shes not as far along in her recovery as she put out on vlogs. I truly wonder if she is severely struggling on her mon video days and she doesnt eat all.

[@ekli9]

@@its_msk Yes, I think she looks kinda the same size as 8 months ago. I wonder what happens off camera as well. I think she needs a therapist to help change her thought process because it's not all about food.

[@jennypino9901]

My boyfriend is not anorexic, he never had any problem with food, he eats a lot, like...a lot...lol...but he is skinny as Elzani...he also tried to put on weight by eating 6000 calories every day...he also try to take suplements, drink bodybuilders protein shakes...also try to eat a lot of junk food...and he only put half a pound in 4 months...it's just his metabolism...i know Elzani has an eating disorder and it's alarming to see her so thin...but maybe she is like my boyfriend, she has problems to gain weight but doesn't have to mean she's not eating enough...

[@Ella-ps1lg]

@@its_msk if you saw pictures last year when she came out of 2 months of impatient she was STILL very thin. I think she must have a naturally very slim frame. I do feel with Elzani she's very genuine. She's the first to share with us when she's struggling - she's always shown recovery at it's worst so I believe in what she's sharing here.

[@kamrynlazinbat3939]

LOVE YOU ELZANI

[@gigiperez1830]

I’m in the hospital right now but watching you makes me smile ☺️

[@crazymistake5293]

Gigi Perez you okay? Here if you need to talk btw 💜

[@gigiperez1830]

Crazy Mistake awe, yes I’m fine 💕

[@jessami3692]

Your right Elzani...there is always tomorrow! Let your mind rest 😴

[@bts4919]

wow i love you and your personality, you brightened my day!

[@flowerbreanna]

you're doing great!!!! love the determination and strength xxx

[@pandaparty1232]

Omg first like I love you Elzani and you can see how much you’ve come on from where you were you are so inspiring and I love you ❤️ and I have watched like 20 of your videos today and you have changed so much well done !!👍

[@kayleigh2632]

im so glad i found your channel elzani

[@recoveredbakes3675]

Just what I needed 😍

[@aleksandrabetts1393]

Ok ...?

[@recoveredbakes3675]

Aleksandra Betts ? 😂❤️

[@JRS5555]

hi emma :DD

[@recoveredbakes3675]

Riase5 Hello! ❤️

[@esmaaa6699]

Love you babyyy❤

[@harrihamalainen8367]

Well here is a girl with a truly kind heart, your so honest and nice:) God pless to you! Believe yourself u can do it :D

[@Epitaff]

You'll know you have recovered when you make a video about something other than food.

[@sams5188]

Can you do a video on the therapy you have - like cbt or dbt? I’d like to know what hells you the best . Do you have familiar therapy? It’s great you are eating more but gaming weight is only part of it and you need to figure out why you developed anorexia etc. St the moment your vlogs back it sound like you have no therapy or psych?

[@francescafoster854]

Sometimes it's hard to get help tbh. I don't really know when it comes to eating disorders, but for me (diagnosed with bipolar and BPD) I only see my psych if there's a problem with meds or if I am struggling to a suicidal extent and even then it can be a couple months before I get an appointment. As for councilling the NHS only usually provide 6 sessions which really isn't enough. Luckily there's a charity who does CBT in the next town so I go there but you have to be v low income. So I wouldn't be surprised if she doesn't have help :( it really shouldn't be like that! X

[@shelleyn2884]

You are killing it Elzani! Hoping for you that you can let all the agonizing go regarding "is this nicer than that "and being afraid because what if something" isn't nice". You know this already but just let it go. You are trying to and that is apparent. Like you said at the end...just have the other thing tomorrow. It makes no difference. Your ED tells you it does of course but it doesn't. Getting nervous because something might not be as nice as you want it to be is wasted energy. Thats just life. Everyday. For everybody. We eat things that blow us away with how yummy they are and other times something is just whatever and we are a bit let down but who cares.Or even something might be disgusting and just throw it out and have something else. Like your wise dad says nothing is always perfect. You got this sweet girl! You are doing great. Love your videos so much!

[@user-wi7kw4df7z]

There are some harsh comments here, but as direct as they are, there is also clear truth. Good on you for pushing yourself, I genuinely believe you want to recover. My biggest concern is that I feel you deep down have strong anxieties about food, despite however much you attempt to challenge them, and when you do challenge them, it’s with a faulty perception of food. The truth is, EVERYBODY has small anxieties around food, we all care about nutrition and calories etc to an extent, but in a healthy person those thoughts do not dominate their life or lifestyle as such. You have this skewed idea that what’s normal is to eat whatever you want, all the junk in the world, and it’s abnormal to be cautious of eating healthy or not eating until your full. Girl, recovery is 90% of your cognitions and psychology, and 10% what you put in yourself. I really really hope that I’m the future you are able to improve your relationship with food, firstly by accepting that everything in moderation is ok (no need to over feed/ underfeed or be under the impression that eating copious amounts is good!) and secondly, that you can work on consistently putting into practice, healthier food choices and seeing a nutritionist maybe? .. I feel what your body is begging you for are just regular sized meals and snacks that are nutrient dense and able to restore you gradually. Right now you are eating tons of sugar and fat, and getting yourself addicted to all that.. how is all that good for long term recovery!! I wish you would try large green salads, grains and starches for lunch, loads of fruit as snack options, and lighter dinners. To help your weight gain, I would recommend protein powder and good heart breakfasts, like oatmeal or scrambled eggs, beans, sausage, greens .. just to add variety. Anyway, feel free to get in touch with me if you like .. I really do hope the best for you :)

[@dexterm]

Yeei, I was wondering where the video upload was, and here it is. Going to watch right now. Ciao

[@mellymay0303]

"thick and milky, that's like what i want to be" hahaha you're so funny elzani

[@ilikeyoutube836]

You really are making progress Elzani. Don't listen to the negative Nellies in the comments section. They obviously weren't around when you hardly ate anything. You're doing great with fear foods, bigger portion sizes, and eating again when you're still hungry. This is definite progress. Keep going!!

[@skylarb7468]

She ate like 4000 calories in this so it really doesn’t make sense that she isn’t gaining that much weight especially if she eats like this every day

[@holachi6679]

Missy Jones it’s because she doesn’t eat like this everyday. Only when she’s filming

[@lauraeimre3056]

Eating 4000 kcal once a week does nothing. I sometimes eat this much once in a week and go back to my smaller calorie diet and I lose weight

[@skylarb7468]

Laura Eimre I wish I was like that I eat a cookie and gain five pounds. But I’m not as skinny as her so I don’t think I would if I was her.

[@MC-fv9no]

I really don’t like how everyone’s commenting like they have any idea what she’s doing. I know it seems like she’s obsessed with food still but to me she just seems so genuinely excited and proud of herself for eating what she is. She is eating a enough food and good food, she has her parents looking after her. She looks healthier in every video.

[@MC-fv9no]

Just remember she’s *recovering* not *recovered*

[@MariaDiaz-hw6nx]

Anne Coetzee she’s really not, 8 months and still looks like she could drop dead of starvation at any moment. People are only saying that because we can see she’s still deep in her anorexia and she’s not getting any better. She needs proper help

[@vl7175]

I've been here since day one. Love from Sweden ♡

[@DominosAndHearts]

Your mumms so awesome and supportive

[@maddiegan8339]

I craved porridge after watching your previous videos. I tried the porridge topped with melted biscoff spread (crunchy, of course) and it was DIVINE! Just wanted to ask... How do you make your porridge? Mine never turns out as creamy looking as yours....

[@bellajurovich6369]

I love watching these during my recovery! You seem so happy :)

[@laurahadwin2700]

Well done Elzani I always noticed that your porridge was Superrrr runny, which was a massive habit of mine aswell, it was still quite runny today so keep going!!!💗

[@Snickerdoods.x]

Laura Hadwin Some people just like it that way? Why’s that a disordered habit?

[@laurahadwin2700]

Gina Marie it's just because when you're anorexic or have a restrictive eating disorder, it is very likely that you will try to prolong the eating experience and try to bulk up food as much as you can for the smallest amount of calories, and it can become a fear, to have what looks like the same amount of food for less calories (e.g. Runny porridge and thick porridge)💗

[@lacieface2838]

I love watching your videos and I think you are a wonderful girl! You have come so far and I don’t want to come off mean, because I adore you and your sweet family. I am just wondering , I think like others, are you still in therapy? I’m not sure, but it does seem like you have obsessions with food. You spend much of your day talking about it. You take a while before you jump in and eat. But I’m not therapist, and maybe that is ok. What does your dr say? I hope this is me coming off curious and w good intentions, as I would never want to upset you. Also you are doing a great job eating and getting healthy, and sending love and hugs. 💕🌸

[@Ella-ps1lg]

This is just 30 mins of her day and it's an eating disorder recovery channel so yes she's talking constantly about food & recovery - . I think making these videos is really helping her eat more & switch off the anxiety around food - she's moving forward and that's all that matters. she used to take waaaay longer to start eating and would eat much more slowly so it's all progress! As someone who's been through recovery before - the obsessions don't go until weight is restored. When the body is in malnutrition it's natural to obsess over food!

[@lacieface2838]

Ella very good point, I said that in another comment as well, that it is only a small clip of her day. I certainly hope to not come off negative and all good points here. I hope the best for her, she seems like such a sweet awesome girl! 🌸

[@Ella-ps1lg]

@@lacieface2838 I didn't think it negative! It's a good point that some people DO get stuck in recovery and are obsessed as ever with food & fail to move out of recovery and into life- but I think Elzani has a long way to go. She's still very thin- I found in the earlier stages whenever I tried to think about other things I took my eye off the recovery ball & things slipped back. Maybe it's the same for her. We all find different ways to recover- as long as it's eating more food & creating positive associations with food & eating it's all good 💗

[@vanoosa1206]

im so proud of you elzani you inspire me so much

[@PrincessSquig]

25:41 should have been your thumbnail 😂😂😂

[@Melmelsmells]

Youre glowing babe x

[@heather9513]

You’re so inspiring💛 also a concept- porridge with BISCOFF