EPISODE: Episode 5 - The Big Reveal

[@crankyveggiegirl]

I'm a simple girl, Kurtis posts, I click

[@rroselandd]

i agree with this assessment

[@explicitmemory4284]

Ummmm yeah basically I just simp for Kurtis....there I said it, it's out there!

[@sepiahoney]

congrats on the pin

[@j_ford-ru9li]

How to get likes: Step 1: I'm a simple {insert gender}. {insert KZbinr name} posts, I click. Step 2: Follow step 1

[@wee3609]

jeajjjjjddddddddsoijubhfird 2

[@Melissa-zr6zw]

I’ll literally never get tired of the Leah punching cars jokes

[@freyavine6448]

Same

[@ForeverCloe05]

SAME AHHAHAH bruh

[@sarahjeanwinkler2540]

i forgot the reference :/

[@GB-tb2ry]

@@sarahjeanwinkler2540 she was trying to start her car by punching it

[@Discogothicc]

I died cause I forgot about it!

[@deeviousrat]

imagine being at your wedding party and your spouse says “anyways, here’s a video tribute of all the times i stalked you before i talked to you”

[@vo1ds0ng]

It's literally the most romantic thing someone could do. If my future romantic partner doesn't show me a video of all the times they filmed me sleeping, I don't want them. /j

[@marigoldsunflower]

Edward Cullen I'm lookin at you

[@TonyStark-di9tg]

joe goldberg type beat

[@olivia_vermast]

Bars

[@_g0r3c0r3]

​@@TonyStark-di9tg **plays hypnotic data**

[@Alice-ib4cz]

“Honestly you were terrible” GIRLLL 🤭 ID START CRYING

[@fagioli7063]

Same atleast lie 🙈🙊

[@jackieattackie101]

The relationship would be over. I’d never be able to do anything with them ever again hahahaha

[@orlaprior4558]

It’s literally my worst fear

[@grace-yp3sv]

literally 5 minutes later she was like "that was magical aha xx you're the only one who understands me" this game... i-

[@laralashus5055]

id be ... pretty devastated oml 😳😰

[@iwantpizza476]

"Giving you the illusion of choice" should be Episodes slogan tbh

[@Anjaluchapoo]

it should be my existences slogan

[@thegenderman8582]

Wow I’ve finally found my life’s motto.

[@TUMunich]

Haha. To be fair tho some of the community stories actually have several completely different storylines which can happen depending on choices. The episode originals are all crap tho.

[@taylove1461]

@@TUMunich Community stories can have gems now too

[@TUMunich]

@@taylove1461 yeah that sucks so bad… episode has gone really bad.

[@marstheplanet101]

"I'll swim in this toxic swamp any day" sounds like a pick up line for shrek lmao

[@miabennett04]

get oot my swamp

[@shiannafoxx]

That's what I was thinking 😭😭

[@baby_illinois]

shrek :)

[@caremiccats]

@@baby_illinois i love shrek too... haha what a small world😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@baby_illinois]

@@caremiccats this is insanity... like: 0_0

[@Morganne]

I BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE.............. *TURN IT UP*

[@SpiritgemLPS]

yeereeeereereeeeee

[@theidkplace7869]

Agreed

[@bellelov3su]

WOOOOO

[@kokichiioumaa6520]

AYEEEE

[@m.j.wilkes3001]

🔊

[@faithz3101]

The community created stories on Episode are GOLD. They're usually written like fanfics and you don't ever have to use gems

[@fam0uslastw0rds37]

fanfics are always so nicely written and popular books are always like “oh my i love using notmal words”

[@carolineweaver76]

Oml community episodes are my secret addiction

[@juliagirlgirl123]

@@carolineweaver76 what’re some good ones lol

[@menkisser611]

factual

[@kali.thalli]

Honestly though, there was this one story I really liked but the creator stopped it smh

[@miabella638]

kurtis: imagine if they just showed it lol they: showed it kurtis: *wait no-*

[@allistor5504]

10 months ago, 1.6k likes, no replies.

[@heyimhere7048]

@@allistor5504 11 months ago, 1.8k likes, 1 reply

[@Acornskin]

11 months ago, 1.8k 2 replys

[@penelopekitson8060]

1 year ago, 1.9k, 3 replies.

[@sincerealev]

1 year ago, 1.9k, 4 replies

[@Tiffany__B]

ugh, i hate when my significant other calls me "honey" and then I turn around and find out they're a bee 🙄

[@dummroll]

I swear this happens ALL THE TIME! Like my partner just turns into bees before my eyes. Like yeah, it was funny the first few times, now get back in your suit.

[@Tiffany__B]

ikr? you guys understand me 😫

[@scribblots602]

And they're always asking if I like jazz. Like wtf?

[@Raven-wq4li]

i thought you were bae... turns out you were just fam

[@Tiffany__B]

@@Raven-wq4li i thought you were bae... turns out you're just bee 😔

[@avapicheca8943]

leah: *does anything* kurtis: “it’s cuz u punched a car”

[@anna_banana414]

not only did she punch it, it SHOOK. that’s either a flimsy ass car or shes fucking iron man

[@pluto3194]

@@anna_banana414 This is the side plot we all want to see

[@abdelwahabnassim6281]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/pYuYlWqwjsxkq7c

[@abcdefgh-fb5ny]

kurtis is every mom about phones and leah is us 😔

[@guy817]

@@abdelwahabnassim6281 why did this link me to Arabic peotry?

[@weirdautumn5263]

*kurtis: lmao what if they just showed it *episode: shows it

[@amaliepetersen441]

His face 😂 he was so shocked

[@bubblegumblue4115]

IVE PLAYED THIS YEARS AGO I DIDNT KNOW EPISODE JUST GOT RID OF THEIR GUIDELINES FOR 'GINA, I DIDNT HAVE GEMS IG LMFAO????

[@kikuoisthebestandnoonecant1915]

His face lmfaooo- 😭😭😭

[@rommarone1025]

Can we get some fs in the chat for kurtis 😔

[@cynicalperson161]

@@rommarone1025 F

[@astupiddumbguy3537]

Yooo, Tony's lucky he's not a car because Leah's about to throw hands.

[@LolaLolo7]

😂😭

[@crabcaekzzz]

i read that in the italian accent

[@lizlee8715]

Don’t forget to say ‘Robert Dinero’ after someone says thank you!

[@Icerope-km9lu]

Guess you could say he's gonna get...WRECKED

[@weeeeee2912]

“that cop didn’t go to college?....weird...i feel like they should.” S L A M M E D

[@lilbooter8902]

i was looking for this comment LMAO

[@betherin6237]

^^

[@henotic.essence]

OBLITERATED

[@mady0616]

DESTROYED

[@tsukikoamagiri]

Slammed? Just like the car Leah slammed and literally obLITERATED?

[@elainegaron6222]

Kurtis: I can’t talk right now, I’m doing hot girl $hit *spends all his money on a kids game*

[@fin5657]

LMFAOOO

[@modecirtautaite2297]

Hey, some episodes stories SLAP🙄 the community ones tho not the one Kurtis plays.

[@ViVi-ev3rx]

also kids game: *warning mature content*

[@minarai313]

As an Episode player, it is FAR from a kids game

[@asha9818]

kids game: *vajinuh*

[@bobthetomatoinamaiddressl7258]

imagine not being phased by seeing a plastic wailing baby in a warehouse but instead lifting it, singing to it for a generous amount of time and naming it peanut.

[@beagotm9318]

IM GONNA CRYYYY

[@adaezeikeh]

I NEVER NOTICED THAT-

[@Anjaluchapoo]

yeah that guy seemed lonely

[@thesleepydot]

That dude’s my favorite

[@bobthetomatoinamaiddressl7258]

@@beagotm9318 his names peany for short :-)

[@dakota5571]

I actually sent “ I’d swim in this toxic swamp for you any day “ to my crush and turns out she watches you’re channel too and it led to us talking. we are going out in Few days, thanks Curtis the line works !

[@ryu9192]

C U R T I S

[@danny8284]

GOOD FOR YOU, MAN!

[@elfdruid2072]

How was your date

[@thegenderman8582]

That is actually nice, good for you!

[@evylange2888]

that’s literally the best news I’ve hear

[@nataliac2734]

The silliest thing is these characters are supposed to be like 17 years old. Like tf when the drunk car thing happened they were 14?

[@kenyaaragon3944]

This could easily be explained by a time machine

[@pranamyabelvai7488]

@@kenyaaragon3944 oh yes ofc

[@MW-xd6hy]

@@kenyaaragon3944 this was so absurd, i laughed out loud

[@xxcallmeniaxx3272]

Well I mean they could be late 17/early 18, and the car thing happened when they were early 16/late 15? I dont know maybe its the city but kids get drunk at 13 in New York so it doesn't seem that crazy to me

[@swag9587]

It's pretty common where I live tbh 🗿

[@hanashable95]

“You were terrible!” And she’s just like “sorry I’ll be better next time” 😂😂 and that’s it ! Lolol

[@alexmalzeke4649]

Anyways here is a shirt you can wear! Or not if you dont have gems

[@AmyAberrant]

A toxic relationship!

[@hanashable95]

@@alexmalzeke4649 lol In real life anybody would be like “get the fuck out asshole” 😂

[@alexmalzeke4649]

@@hanashable95 fr😂😂

[@peanutbutter4435]

Somehow they found a way to make an episode story even cringer than usual

[@grace-yp3sv]

"we're doing colors of the rainbow, didn't you get the memo?" HER HAIR IS LITERALLY FIRE ENGINE RED

[@skitzosoup]

YES

[@miabella638]

as an italian this is exactly how we talk

[@inouye6594]

Oh... like a KZbinr trying to do an Italian accent? Cool

[@el-ij6zj]

@lil noun they were obviously making a joke

[@aquablueyt3700]

So you just randomly start speaking in a southern accents too? Props to Kurtis

[@inouye6594]

@@el-ij6zj I know.

[@letterborneVods]

I knew the hand motion was a part of it!

[@jennabaugh1303]

"I'm gonna give him an Italian accent because his name is Tony"... *New York accent*

[@amia560]

eh theyre one in the same

[@Wendy-je9zf]

same energy as Emmett from twilight saying “her name is Bella” when asked if Bella is even Italian

[@DrillOnABeat]

Haha

[@Durstloescher4]

Haha

[@dreamcatcherismylifesuppor2348]

Haha

[@mad.callahan]

why is everyone sleeping on the “🎵codY siMpsEeuUoOn 🎵”

[@elizabethmayorquin_]

right? he killed that

[@yn2310]

fr those vocals do be on point

[@kmations4049]

true

[@hamflavoredlipbalm6077]

16:39

[@denji5426]

@@hamflavoredlipbalm6077 THANK YOU

[@gemmasd9788]

wait there's people that don't get extra greetings... what a sad life

[@kat618]

i can’t even imagine that must be so hard

[@guyfieri4017]

@I’m Legit subbbing to everyone who subbs to me shut up you bot

[@hayden1300]

could never be me 😌✋🏽

[@gemmasd9788]

@@hayden1300 it's not me ill tell u that for free

[@WhatsAOlivia]

Well, especially that ONE time we ALL didn’t get an extra greeting ✋🏻😪

[@julieterzaghi2806]

Kurtis: I should give him an Italian accent Also Kurtis: Gives him a New Yorker accent

[@pokaay3163]

@Youmna Ahmouch sounds like a new yorker in denial

[@archpluto1897]

only the city new yorkers talk like that

[@ussinussinongawd516]

@@archpluto1897 the city is also called new york Noone actually cares about the rest of the state lol

[@archpluto1897]

LMAOOO that is true though as a non-New York City New Yorker

[@niya4981]

@@archpluto1897 😭poor non-city New Yorkers, I still think you guys are really cool! -A city New Yorker

[@allymichael337]

So Rent Parties are absolutely a thing, especially at the turn of the 20th century. It was a community based solution for Black people and Black performers. Black people would host rent parties at their apartment a, have musicians perform, and charge a small cover fee. The fees would pay for rent. This tactic also provided a space for Black musicians to workshop new work and was a major factor in the development of Blues as it traveled from New Orleans to KC, Chicago, and Harlem. Just some Black history knowledge for everyone!

[@thedishonorablewizardthorn2486]

Woah! Thank you

[@kuryman7692]

wow! that’s so interesting, i never knew this :0

[@EchoSiera]

Thanks for sharing! This actually cleared up part of the Episode story but also taught me some history :)

That makes sense about why they don't exist in my country

[@cameemoo]

This is awesome thanks for sharing!

[@italiano4296]

kurtis: imagine if they just showed it😹 episode: ok boss kurtis: •-•

[@cadewiley2025]

I SPIT OUT MY FOOD WHEN HE SAID "giyna" instead of "geena"

[@kekesmit5468]

Same, lmao. And I choked coz I was eating when he said that.

[@katarzynacelary7858]

HDGBVHDSJ SAME

[@unfortunateClown]

he was still thinking about how his whole screen was vajinuh

[@cornfield3034]

Kurtis is just sane Dwight

[@spacetrashfallingdown]

'gina

[@n_0094]

Best line ever: Oh, that doesn't make any fucking sense.

[@dicentra985]

Could sum up the whole series lol

[@vihachi]

"every guy has the same haircut" sings kurtis, with the same haircut

[@hannahclark1875]

i thought i was the only one who caught that ADFKSHDFOW

[@islabee94]

I thought the exact same thing every time he said that lmaoo

[@ryylaa]

kurtis has the spicy version. he took it to another level with the mullet

[@driming6152]

7:11

[@elocin416]

He has a mullet not a 2010 justin Bieber cut lmao

[@misssinisterseventy1553]

Kurtis: "Every guY HaS thE SaME HaiRcuT" ALso Kurtis" *has that haircut*

[@lucidskulls]

LMAO THIS COMMENT SENT ME

[@ScarletRain26]

That's what I thought too 😆

[@red.gem_]

lolllll

[@leoterava3486]

I was searching for this comment XDD thank you

[@ElectricTank]

Lol he's got a mullet tho

[@l0ve.Ang3l]

the "honestly you were terrible" had me dead faster than her DEVILS TANGO life

[@sugamethisjinmethat992]

Thats a Tapastic comic, and I love it.

[@S.M.9]

The fact he didn’t even hesitate is what killed me 😭

[@aniyaanderson3676]

I’ve watched his hair grow progressively longer with each episode of Episode. And I watched the payments go from Finger ID to Face ID.

[@cateroach253]

two teenage girls: *literally have a robot baby and leave said baby in a wrecked car that needs to be towed to the police station* policeman: "oh what a perfect family" edit: oh noooo i didn’t know editing got rid of the heart wtf my perfect day is ruined other edit: if kurtis hearts this again, i’ll give him my own robot baby

[@DanasGoneCrazy]

Love wins...

[@robertsmithfan877]

@@DanasGoneCrazy PLSS

[@chloeiffrig446]

Well you know what they say, true love is teens 😔

[@jenniferrairigh9023]

@@chloeiffrig446 the East knows this

[@finlaylaidlaw8801]

@@chloeiffrig446 that’s the great thing about school girls... I get... no...

[@vanessalovric3551]

*nobody:* *fiona to shrek: i'd swim in this toxic swamp for you any day*

[@maddygreenb]

So romantic 😍

[@zzzmichaela816]

I wonder how many people texted their “I’d swim in this toxic swamp for you any day”

[@lancemonsivais9229]

And I want to know the responses.

[@abbiemarsden9889]

I did and she told me to piss off

[@paulinaleavitt2303]

I did and he hasn’t responded. I think it’s safe to say we’re getting married

[@lexingtonkennedy787]

she said "and you will"

[@kelseysmith5503]

I did it and she said laww you watch kurtis’s new video”

[@kaileyanne4839]

I love how Kurtis just hates this series.

[@DamnItMantis]

Yet he still spends money on it 😂

[@fat.im0a]

***serious music*** Tony: I was the one that called the ambulace Kurtis: Kurtis: *BaDaBingbAdAbOom*

[@sopheehee3474]

the italian accent is absolutely sending me

[@varshini555]

🎶click clack badabing badaboom🎶

[@isitleeyourelookingfor6352]

"You're terrible in bed" "Wow.......I think this is the happiest I've ever felt."

[@uydfi35]

i'm a simple enby, i see the flag, i click like

[@pepaigea]

@@uydfi35 Same

[@jxton_]

@@uydfi35 same

[@eri4232]

degradation kink

[@isitleeyourelookingfor6352]

@@eri4232 was this reply necessary /lh

[@msadler06]

me: struggling to keep kurtis', danny's, and mikaela's episode plot lines straight

[@EveleaSolgos]

SAME i was like but kurtisssss what about your vlog

[@wishingwell_333]

ok mr. struggle

[@jemberlou]

ok accidental archives

[@saralee1227]

Lmaoo same

[@raynie96]

Honestly Kurtis’ is the most chaotic of the three

[@lolkayleen2757]

Can we appreciate how well Kurtis handled the horrible awkwardness of all of the episodes in the best way possible, legendary

[@certifiedfrog8416]

kurtis if i get a mullet we can twin and twinning is winning

[@rroselandd]

"twinning is winning" mood

[@beekinddd]

don’t let tom hear you say that

[@derpfnaflover]

I GOT A MULLET BC OF HIM ASF 😩😩

[@7ris7an.]

:0 get one, we'd be mullet triplets

[@hkh8454]

I got a mullet about a year ago soo...

[@killanelle]

"is this a full-on bumblebee in my bed right now??" isn't that just the full plot of the bee movie

[@katiaaa108]

kinda upset that he didn't make a bee movie reference

[@imid3440]

@@katiaaa108 repression

[@calliecurley8699]

I really thought that “forgetting your husband” skit was going to be a Honey ad lmfao

[@Queen-bh1bb]

Bruuuu sameee😂

[@aishwaryasankhe6018]

SAME

[@theeleanorshellstrop]

SAME SKSKKSKS

[@youradurf1297]

These are just playable wattpad books 😂

[@iJustWannaBeNameless]

I know one that actually is a wattpad adaptation... bad boy something

[@katherinegriffin]

@@iJustWannaBeNamelessthe bad boys girl is the one jennxpenn played and it's not even on the app anymore 😭😭 apparently this one is based on a wattpad story too

[@scottyb8392]

Kurtis: I'll give him an Italian accent Kurtis: *Brooklyn accent activated* ayyy gabagool im tony

[@naivenitara]

Gabagool 😂😂😂

[@dravencharter9642]

Ah yes, the three genders: Cody Simpson hair, shaved on the sides, and bald

[@nicoleeeho]

i told my crush i'd swim in a toxic swamp for them any day. we're married now.

[@puggyboy694]

The whole ordeal took one hour.

[@sylvie9562]

so inspirational

[@housplant4011]

Couple goals😍

[@judemccrystal2527]

congratulations 🥳

[@Jed-sl7lg]

That’s so adorable🥺 y’all are cute

[@royce6485]

"the cop didn't go to college?.....i feel like they should" "i gotta go arrest people for small amounts of marijuana"

[@Baer99Z]

"Leah.. why are we at the lake?" *throw the baby in throw the baby in throw the baby in*

[@naivenitara]

Yeet! 👶🏼💨🏞

[@wakandangay3883]

🎀 ✨🧚 𝓎 𝑒 𝑒 𝓉 𝓊 𝓈 𝓉 𝒽 𝒶 𝓉 𝒻 𝑒 𝓉 𝓊 𝓈 🧚✨ 🎀

[@romanigrace7006]

Can we get a recap on how much he’s spent on this story

[@Pukkiepower7850]

please

[@Honeybunny_bun]

Probably over 50 dollars 💀💀

[@trashfor_coll5413]

Bet

[@trashfor_coll5413]

He's spent $50.25

[@smellybug06]

Love how Kurtis's skits start one way and end a totally different way

[@freyavine6448]

I Know!! They start out funny enough but then it's like wow, its all coming together. Have you seen the goat story one? I think there's some good skits in that

[@porrokin3588]

the strength this man has everytime, i cannot keep a straight face when he says chris phucker and he's just unphazed

[@oliviaward5586]

Kurtis I tried sending “I’d swim in a toxic swamp for you” to my girlfriend and they left me on read. Update:She’s now my ex girlfriend

[@billnyesmassivethighs3847]

you have to pay 20 diamonds if you want her to reply

[@oliviaward5586]

@@billnyesmassivethighs3847 got it 👍 I will try that.

[@dicentra985]

F

[@DCH__]

That’s rough buddy

[@oliviaward5586]

Update: She’s now my ex girlfriend

[@paigesem]

“i’m a bisexual theatre kid” me: *well that feels familiar*

[@anastasiasutterfield4170]

same

[@zap2258]

YEP SAME HAHHAA

[@communistskeletonpiss]

Thats me and my entire club

[@bellelov3su]

*me-*

[@xy-moron1779]

⬛️🔪 🟦 🟥🟨🟩 💥🏫 💥

[@cadensandstrom]

The freudian slip of calling her 'gina just about killed me

[@homeworkbreak4237]

IKR

[@lillyhaun4959]

That was the funniest thing ever

[@gummidon1618]

Same dude

[@jeffantonio1627]

wait so she got into a second car accident, she was in the hospital for 3 seconds as opposed to the last time where she was in a coma for years. and shes not injured at all ?? and not affected at all by toni just comin out of the woodworks to sauce up his ex

[@senpapii]

when i heard my crush say “i’d swim on a toxic swamp for you any day”, that’s when i knew she was the one...

[@aaasylvaniaaa8041]

Mh

[@certificateofirrelevance2412]

That is the most cursed pfp I've seen

[@scissors7783]

Your pfp.....

[@isacatt]

yo are you from wattpad 😭😭

[@peanutbutter4435]

How do I erase an image from my memory

[@katiegreene9719]

Me pretending I’m straight “Must be GInA- I mean Gina”

[@agsty__]

🤣

[@lily-py5fl]

The extra greeting gives me so much joy

[@kashvi3147]

off topic but question - did you draw your pfp? it looks incredible

[@soopsoop464]

except for that one time

[@lilylarson1474]

Same

[@jaciepayne5032]

i love your pfp. mine is gaga’s side profile from aaood3 deleted scene HHAHSHAG

[@kat618]

we love the fine line pfp btw :))

[@marconi1906]

i was 100% sure after kurtis said “why is he talking about honey?” he was going to be like “oh because it’s a brand deal!” what a missed opportunity.

[@samerilatha8228]

At the end of this series we need a calculation of how much money he’s spent on diamonds

[@katesterthegreatster5619]

This episode he encountered 4 choices requiring diamonds, 2 of which he had to purchase diamonds for. (The first choice he had some diamonds left from last time, and the last one, he decided not to wear the rainbow dress.) He generally encounters about that number of diamond opportunities, and he probably spends 40-60 diamonds per episode, or 240-300 diamonds for the entire series. 20 diamonds costs $2.79 plus tax, which in Ontario is 5% GST + 8% PST. This means he's spent probably about $37.83- $47.29 on the entire series.

[@savvymarie7882]

@@katesterthegreatster5619 🙏🙏🙏

[@fishstickys]

@@katesterthegreatster5619 you absolute legend.

[@katesterthegreatster5619]

@@fishstickys thank you!

[@notcindymae]

@@katesterthegreatster5619 you genius.

[@marstheplanet101]

Leah hates cars like Neil Breen hates laptops.

[@allyc5945]

Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave

[@fagioli7063]

💀 You went there

[@eggbuns5413]

if i had a dollar for each time kurtis has said “im kurtis, i’m a bisexual theater kid” i would have 4, which isn’t much but wild thats he’s said that 4 times

[@ceebe3]

Kurtis' bank account probably: you have the backbone of a *chocolate éclair*

[@naivenitara]

underrated comment 😂

[@kayabooks2780]

JOHN MULANEY YES

[@calliasroom]

kurtis's "Italian" accent sounds like a mosquito

[@Emma-mj3pz]

why is that description perfect though-

[@james_medlin]

@@Emma-mj3pz it’s not

[@valevolentt]

@@james_medlin it is

[@peepmam]

i chocked lmao

[@zaynamogus]

...the mosquitos in starship...

[@plzno1854]

“Must be gyna” really reminded me of how Dwight shrute couldn’t do sales with women because he also called a woman named Gina “gyna” and I’m SCREECHING oh how my two favorite things have finally linked together

[@cabgirl12]

Gyna said that?? 😂

[@he.said.teenjiejer]

kurtis saying “i’ll give tony an italian accent” and then proceeding to do a nyc accent will never fail to send me

[@semaphore5150]

Kurtis saying "real hot girl shit" is the best thing I've seen all year.

[@laceyc8502]

You mean heard?

[@nathaliemillerr]

“i play kurtisssssss. i’m a bisexual theatre kid.” he just described my entire high school

[@fin5657]

same lmaooo

[@ameliagrace30]

he just described me NDHSHHD

[@christmastiger]

do you go to one of those liberal arts high schools? No shade but the theater kid part sounds terrifying

[@nathaliemillerr]

@@christmastiger how did u know ❤️

[@harlequeenchannel]

I love how his patience and sanity has deteriorated with every episode

[@Firedemon72]

"why are we at the lake?" "to drown this baby"

[@mitripopo]

love that Kurtis has a full girlfriend he could use for his marriage skit but he does it with himself

[@bubblegumblue4115]

It makes it so much better

[@fgellert5623]

id be real fucking worried if he had half a girlfriend lying around

[@ananyasampathkumar3832]

yOU BEAT ME TO MY JOKE

[@ash-kl1di]

@@fgellert5623 PLS HAHSHDJSJ

[@miabennett04]

a full girlfriend, not a half one?

[@despoina7547]

I have a question: does kurtis put when doing his taxes put the amount of money he spends on diamonds under work expenses?

[@user-lh8im2vy8e]

He's in Canada and idk how their taxes work, but if he were in the U.S. he absolutely could.

[@despoina7547]

@@user-lh8im2vy8e in greece too, so it must be pretty universal! i just wanna see the face of the person who checks his taxes hehe

[@hookedmediacarstech1419]

@@user-lh8im2vy8e you can do that in Canada too

[@rosemarybearden8839]

I sincerely hope so

[@freyavine6448]

@@despoina7547 does that mean you're from Greece?

[@CharlieIsHere22]

Anyone notice how he didn’t say “except for that one time” in his intro? Trying to escape your past kurtis?! HMMM?!?! 😂

[@airbearr]

trying 🐶 escape 🐶 past 🐶 Kurtis 🐶 hmm? 🐶

[@fin5657]

KURTIS IS CANCELLED 😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤

[@nicolea7086]

We have to cancel him again 😠😂

[@hannahthellama]

#kurtisconnerisoverpartythesequel

[@punkisdad4005]

I noticed that too! Lol

[@H3XGorlieWonders]

I'M CRYING TEARS FROM YOUR LITTLE BUMBLEBEE SKIT

[@davidnotshawty]

She’ll even swim in the toxic Chernobyl lake for their love, so cute. 🥰 💖

[@auri2773]

I CANTTTT 😭😭

[@zesty6781]

Kurtis talkin about how "EverY guY has the same h a i r c u t" as if he doesn't look like an Episode npc himself

[@emmagray7382]

I want him to narrate romance novels with the same tone as he reads the characters speaking

[@senecagordon5472]

with a bad Italian accent too

[@ValentinaCervera]

I thought Tony was gonna say "Are you lost baby girl?" when he showed up at the hospital hahahah

[@axcel7475]

That movie cursed me forever I couldn’t fucking breathe

[@MoonyMoonzzi]

Kurtis: Lol imagine if they just showed the whole thing Game: Shows the whole thing Kurtis: :0

[@ellieholland8205]

My sister walked in when I was watching that scene and now she thinks I’m weird

[@squirtfan3184]

@@ellieholland8205 i am not surprised. i would also think that ellie.

[@beagotm9318]

I was so startled

[@dicentra985]

Rock paper *scissoring*

[@xnng]

@@dicentra985 i hope u get more likes lmao

[@haley5735]

Kurtis being uncomfortable doing this game is so funny to me

[@fkhan2006]

i too love to do games. not play games, but do games

[@emily-ek2se]

When he said "honey" in the marriage skit I honestly thought that was gonna be a shameless transition to a sponsorship

[@cokecanred]

I love how Kurtis makes a reference to Leah punching her car EVERY SINGLE VIDEO.

[@chlojo1231]

I’m so tired that when he was doing the intro I was like why is he doing Kurtis Conner’s intro

[@leeblock9573]

I'm so tired that I was very confused as to where the La Croix was (Danny Gonzalez is doing an Episode series on his second channel, where he drinks La Croix)

[@freyavine6448]

😂 oh that's good

[@l.illine1784]

“surprise, happy birthday!! ... why aren’t you in UNIFORM???”

[@sumire2391]

He said vagina so many times, he mispronounced Gina 😂

[@piffy3901]

AKSHSHSH IKR

[@iwantpizza476]

lmfao the skit is how I imagine the girl in 50 First Dates wakes up every morning, production value *chefs kiss* Also the "crack crack" part 😂

[@tbodole]

Leah's thigh, shin, foot kinda reminded me of "men writing women" and the crazy anatomy they describe

[@elliotk.8964]

Wait till you find out about men drawing women LMAO

[@tbodole]

@@elliotk.8964 lol, I've just checked it out. It's absolutely insane

[@aditisaha8190]

i love how he brings up the car punching incident every.single.time.

[@nishashankla7740]

“Must be GI-naH....🤭.....Gina”😂😂😭💀 peak comedy!

[@moved.6963]

7:11 im saving this for me and me only

[@casualdelulu]

IM SO HIGH THIS IS THE FUNNIEST SHIT IVE EVER HEARD OH YMKEIWJDE😊

[@witheredhouseplant]

@@casualdeluluso real this is so fucking funny

[@casualdelulu]

@@witheredhouseplant YEAH!!!

[@briedalton9237]

I know someone who has their Boyfriend under “Boyfriend” it’s so fucking weird lol

[@amadeosonier5995]

you know a robot

[@adri9795]

Do he also have his parents under "mom" and "dad"? Lol

[@leonie6363]

@@adri9795 what

[@somedude172]

i did it as a joke for a while when i had a bf, and then forgot to change it for a good few months lol... maybe its that??

[@Emu19]

How do you guys feel about using their FULL NAME HUH

[@sarahmcpherson2671]

Kurtis with his haircut: “Every guy has the same haircut.”

[@marimuradyan3650]

Kurtis' extra greeting gives me that daily boost of serotonin

[@julez.9599]

it's the folks *clap* for me. I always put everything aside so my hands are free to clap with him😌👏

[@cyberslayer9098]

Can’t believe he actually chose the terrible choice, I almost spit out my water

[@jaxhollywood9804]

6:44 “It must be G-i-na, G-ee-na!” honestly I lost my shit there

[@haphuongnguyen3358]

I need a shirt that said "A Lacross nightmare" Yes, I'm talking to you, Kurtis

[@ChloeDuvall]

When Kurtis did the skit about paying to accept the job, the first thing that came to my mind was mlms

[@memphis647]

for a second, I got really angry because I thought you were talking about men loving men and I was about to flip

[@aliceis9068]

Lmaooo

[@Emilia-do5xn]

OH, mlm as in multi level marketing

[@aidanwithana143]

I lost my shit at 10:05. I was laughing so hard I started crying. That is one of the funniest skits you've ever done.