"EVERYTHING You Think You Know About Yourself Is WRONG!" (How To Find Yourself) | Mark Manson

Join our Discord community so you don’t miss out on all the amazing things we are working on - impacttheory.com/discord. Here you will get direct access to Tom and the team PLUS exclusive content, offers, and so much more. Jump on in and get started on becoming legendary!
This week’s guest on Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu is Mark Manson. Mark Manson is the New York Times bestselling author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck and the new book, Everything is Fucked: A Book About Hope. In this episode he talks about eating shit sandwiches, the importance of hope and how to peel away the layers of your values & identity.
SHOW NOTES:
Why Mark Manson focuses on values rather than traditional metrics of success [3:01]
What made Mark Manson change his focus from music to writing and why he “mourned” his change in career [8:03]
How to establish a foundation of strong values for yourself (and why it matters) [10:19]
How to decide what your beliefs should be in order to have a better life [14:24]
Why you need to decide on your favorite flavor of “shit sandwich” [17:24]
His description of Newton’s emotional laws and why you shouldn’t always trust your emotions [18:53]
How to build your willpower so that you can do things that are difficult [22:38]
“Our self worth equals the sum of our emotions over time” [28:06]
How to create a new identity and sense of self (how do you find yourself in a moment of crisis?) [31:24]
How to develop resilience and why you have a relationship with yourself just as you have a relationship with someone else & the difference between low and high self-esteem [32:44]
How to peel back the layers that make up your sense of self [36:19]
The truth about identity [40:27]
Why you should always be challenging yourself [42:15]
Why you should surround yourself with people who disagree with you [42:43]
Where you can find out more about Mark Manson [43:29]
The impact Mark Manson wants to have in the world [44:04]
PEOPLE MENTIONED:
Immanuel Kant [15:07]
Sir Isaac Newton [18:53]
BOOKS MENTIONED:
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck amzn.to/2HiXQsb
Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope amzn.to/2LGE1iS
IMPACT THEORY MERCHANDISE: Check out Impact Theory's Merch Shop: bit.ly/ImpactTheoryShop

[@lemon1lemons2]

not interrupting any guests and not creating an awkward environment are some of things I respect from Tom. well done and keep up the good work.

[@PracticalInspiration]

Creating a life with better problems. Fantastic, as people we naturally crave problems to solve so it's important to seek problems you take pleasure in resolving, rather than problems imposed on you.

[@woq3158]

"it's important to seek problems you take pleasure in resolving, rather than problems imposed on you." You need to seriously reconsider what you're trying to say here. It's akin to telling someone that the comfort zone is where they want to be. Dogshit advice at face value

[@TinoMT]

there is a seeking, yes. But it ain't a made up "naturally crave problems" concept

[@loumason6120]

After hearing this interview I wouldn't be interested in reading His book let alone paying for it..And that decision is coming from My past, present and future thought(s) and feelings. As a musician You will always have Your ass handed to You or any other profession for that matter. There's a dark overtone to His thinking and to Me doesn't go with true personal growth. Now He's the rockstar he always wanted to be but with a different instrument, that's cool and all but it's nothing new or extra ordinary.

[@woq3158]

@@loumason6120 "And that decision is coming from My past, present and future thought(s) and feelings." this is physically impossible. All decisions are made from a relative present.

[@maccasnz3436]

@@loumason6120 he did advise people to not take him too seriously so...

[@jaxx-inspiregrowcreate2862]

*”The mind is everything. What we think we shall become.”*

[@shaileshshrestha3495]

That's GREAT Tom!- will be 2M soon

[@daniellerodgers6493]

“You are not your mind.” -Eckhart Tolle The mind is a tool, a piece of our consciousness.

[@avamasquerade]

Or we think about what we are becoming. Don't like who you're becoming? Then stop trying to manipulate your own thinking/perceptions and *take action.*

[@ajayreddy8732]

The Buddha said that.

[@jaxx-inspiregrowcreate2862]

@@ajayreddy8732 that's right brother

[@henkvanderklok]

You don't choose a life, you choose a set of problems. - Thank you Mark Manson.

[@avalerionbass]

Whoa... The part of him talking about wanting to be a musician and there was a period of mourning hit pretty hard to me. I am a musician of 24 years (still am) but had to give up all my dreams of "making it big" because I realized that a life of stability meant more to me than the fame that I thought I wanted. I had devoted SO much of my life to that aspect, constantly practicing, learning new instruments, working crap serving jobs so that I had the flexibility to schedule shows and performances. Eventually I realized that I will ALWAYS love, play, and write music, but I no longer had the desire to make that most defining quality. I definitely felt a period of mourning, almost as though I betrayed the essence of who I am. I've since acquired a career in computer programming, have a stable income and plan for my future, still play and write music but I only do it for me, and I have the income to further follow my musical interests, but it was that moment of saying "this is just a hobby, not a career" that hit the hardest.

[@Jason-ji4sy]

Way to give up on your dreams.

[@avalerionbass]

@@Jason-ji4sy Just because you have dreams doesn't mean they end up being what you wanted. Desires change as you grow and the more you follow your dreams the more the reality of what's required to achieve that becomes apparent. To me, the reward wasn't worth all the sacrifice. It was tough to let go of something I had worked for so long on, but that's life. Relationships work the same way. No matter how much you want it to work out with someone and no matter how long you've been together, at some point you gotta admit that it's not gonna work out the way you want. Don't be so judgmental. If you haven't experienced this at some point then you haven't lived very long and you have no room to speak.

[@BebeSoule]

Giving up so easily, we all know what's best for us deep down though.

[@avalerionbass]

Dedicating 24 years of your life to a craft before going a different direction is not giving up easily.

[@BebeSoule]

@@avalerionbass True that, true that, that's already a lifetime.

[@apacur]

Tom always has the best questions----- The way he phrases them is really really insightful---- And then actually ALLOWS the guest to answer Without interrupting. Thank you Tom.

[@averhamilton8823]

YO SERIOUSLY YES! Him not interrupting is SOOO awesome

[@righteousreasons4396]

Best non bias interviewer I've ever seen..Allows his guests to really feel comfortable in showing who they are the way they want to...vs how other shows have a narrative and direction that either the show or some publicist is pushing for..Tom...You have the most sincere way of talking to people when you interview them..Genuinely think that everyone that comes on your show, you have hand picked out of your own interests and wanted to give the individual a platform so that you could share with the world what you have found and letting the person tell it for themselves vs people that get information and regurgitate it back as either their own or you get the grapevined version of what they remember they heard. Salute and Congrats on the 1Million..You Earned It.

[@ibperson7765]

Yeah he’s very good. I wish when guest dont answer the question he’d mention or re-ask. He sometimes asks a great question and the guest goes on an aside and forgets, or just avoids it.

[@darrebell3086]

Good SH!T man 👨 MY MAIN MAN 👨 MY MAN...•••^^^***{REDUNDANT WITH A SLIGHT TWIST IS A FUN DIFFERENTIAL IN LEARN & 🔃🎶🎵💱♾yearningly stepping into your/okay my discomfort!-);(.... yo /yo don’t sleep 🛏 on 💤 that 😴 butterfly 🦋 effect 🔂Son!-);( KID 🧒)🔄

[@joyfulsavage9905]

Very astute comment 🤓

[@vivrantthings]

"There are a lot of things that feel good that are actually hurting you".

[@nararabbit1]

Yep, and things can be painful but not harmful. Sometimes the most painful experiences are the ones I needed the most.

[@gremorychanel4426]

Hello person scrolling through comments. May luck be by your side.

[@gamingwithblis6709]

Thank you

[@ellayouel2489]

And yours Gremory Chanel.Thank you x

[@LiftNBalance]

it's a great day to have a day🤙

[@sophiawalker4068]

What a sweet message! Love and light to you xx

[@anikinkid]

It's 0% luck 100% mindset

[@alexxandra11r]

"what is the pain that gets YOU going?" find that one thing that most people find painfully hard to do, yet for you it just... flows.

[@ovidiudrobota2182]

Da. Ai dreptate Alexandra. :)

[@edwintepuendikum3527]

Perfect 🙏🏿🙏🏿

[@unboundfull]

“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how” - Friedrich Nietzsche

[@marim7784]

Good advice. Another fellow Romanian here.

[@edwintepuendikum3527]

So true

[@eleonorabergthorsdottir1445]

This guy is phenomenal. He really has the gift to put into words and organize all the messy thoughts and feelings one has. A great episode! Thank you :)

[@JustHindiFootball]

@@bobrisse9823 Exactly put

[@GarettChamberlin]

@@JustHindiFootball A little late but...... damn strait

[@9Nikko8]

@@bobrisse9823 huh?

[@TheHorseshoePartyUK]

TL:DW all your name is for, is for others to say 'hey you fellow brain inside a skeleton'

[@williamkreth]

I always write down the why after I write out each goal. It makes you realize which goals are truly important, and which ones are just an ego stroke. This video is wonderful! I will be getting both the books he has written!

[@mariezenaida]

This is so fascinating. I am also someone who didn't finish music school. I chose to shelve that identity of becoming an opera singer, then reframed it later on, completing a recital which I am proud of, one accomplished on top of a sickness and vocal crisis at that. Am I a pro opera singer? Hell no. Do I still consider myself a singer, which I still enjoy doing, simply for the pleasure of it? Yes. I feel we sometimes cling so hard to an identity that if things don't work out according to expectations, it's all-or-nothing. It doesn't have to be that way.

[@inspireyourselfnow]

I love the way he's talking and explaining. Everything makes sense. And also Tom did an amazing job with this questions. It was a really insightful experience. Thank you

[@miguelangelsalazartenorio621]

Know just

[@Yoyoyo224]

7 months passed whatt changed ?

[@osse1n]

*Become shapeless, become formless, be like water.* Adapt to survive is the best possible motto.

[@MX-CO]

F that Choose your path , decide what makes you happy and go get it, adapting is something we are all capable of but why would you want to ?

[@healthiswealth2858]

So true

[@MKBontwikkeling]

Bruce Lee

[@yomanspray]

Bruce lee

[@oxyrisin]

Tarz Thomas This makes complete sense and i live by it. Bruce Lee originally said it. Adaptation is in the sense of achieving your goals, not to conforming to social norms. You can’t change the external world.but through adaptation, you can use their BS for your own, personal goals w out compromising who you are. That’s my take anyway.

[@MichaelGordon]

Initially I thought the whole use of the term “F*cking” was just a ploy for book sales, I am happy to be incorrect. I highly respect Mark’s point of view and look forward to diving in… Ironically my wife had bought me “The subtle art of not giving a f*ck” book a while back… I am finally going to crack it open. Thank you both for a great interview.

[@faybelle2991]

No, it's a gimmick. Everything is in this world.

[@palatablejohnson5732]

"Crack it open"

[@pugtortuga3406]

Michael Gordon it’s a marketing ploy, it’s also a old concept. Trillions of us have adopted that phrase long before Mark was even born. Zillions will following us having never heard of it. Yet, his book is exquisite and timeless. Hope you enjoyed reading it.

[@markothwriter]

I liked his first book but after that he just re-hashes the same stuff.

[@munirshemsu6994]

Same here

[@titlespree]

It all starts with self introspection, knowing your strengths and weaknesses. Also nothing is fixed, change is always possible. Even personalities can change!

[@faybelle2991]

Personalities never change. My family are all better off dead.

[@sadigov]

@@msmorgangayle one can even learn how to spell. Boom!

[@jaykash9091]

the fuck its not, fate n destiny are unchangeable always Fixed no mater wut way u go u always end up the same place reguardless wut path you took to get there n U snd snyone who believes otherwise are God damn stupid fux

[@eligrace6707]

@@jaykash9091 nah you the one that’s stupid af, how about stop projecting your limitations on everyone else. YOU decide how YOUR Life will be it’s not already written it’s being written every day it’s up to you to change that, blaming it on fate or destiny is just a childish excuse sorry.

[@nararabbit1]

I think a lot of people don’t want to pull on those threads of their thoughts and beliefs because they are afraid of the consequences of what they may find.

[@dallassings8062]

“We’re all masochistic to something in life “ wow, so many layers to how good that is!

[@WhataboutBob74126]

I could relate to this interview in a very powerful way. I failed at so many self-concepts to the point of what's the point of being anything of value. Sometimes you have to have a breakdown to have a break through! My break through came when someone in a recovery meeting said: "Everyday involves decisions and choices - just for today, I choose to be a builder in life and not a destroyer!". I think the whole point of performing a personal moral inventory is to peel away each layer of narrative, working towards the core where you are rewarded with having your spiritual awakening. My experience was extraordinarily different. When I embraced the identity of being a "Builder in Life" - which is more of a spiritual identity - and my purpose is to build safe, healthy relationships thereby promoting safety and civility wherever I am, my spiritual self broke through all the outer narratives and introduced itself: "Hi, my name is Bobby and I'm a "Builder in Life". I chose to write out my own personal "Identity and Life Mission Statement" which serves as my personal "Spiritual Compass" that keeps on course in performing my daily tasks! It makes my daily inventory so much simpler - just weed out the harmful, self-defeating narratives and embrace the helpful helpful narratives that is conducive to who I am and what my purpose is. With regard to whatever endeavor, talents, occupations or passions in life - I can seek these and make them a part of my identity in a building capacity. The world needs physicians, politicians, ministers, CEO's, teachers, laborers, janitors, etc - who are builders! The world is screaming for safe and civil communities! Knowing who I am in life makes my decision making so much simpler! A builder in life has better problems than those that are associated with destroyers. Thanks for this interview video!!!!

[@MlleCarocks]

"The concept of your self is built out of the narratives that we create out of our experiences" - very insightful

[@jbLR218]

It’s amazing how we are constantly led to exact what we need in each moment. Although this video was made a year ago, I found it and watched it today and it was absolutely amazing, life changing, eye opening, and perfectly in line with what I needed right now! Thank you so much, Tom and Mark for sharing such amazing content!! 🥳❤️🙌🏻

[@julierossbrickley146]

Grief and Mourning of loosing a part of you...BOOM! The year my last kid went off to college was so hard, I actually described it as going through a death and the person that died was ME. I lost my job (Mom), my friends, my social structures changed...my whole identity changed. I'm going through that again now after having to close a thriving business following a car accident. It messes with you! Choosing to give them up something valuable is one thing, but having it ripped from you is sooo much more. So here I am, reinventing myself again, trying to find something new to give a f*ck about. Thanks for sharing... Gotta get the books.

[@costascostas1760]

I know how you felt. I lost my mum (was lookig after her for a few years) and then my ex a second time (i felt i was supporting her all the whike she had already found someone lese) and I was left with no identity. In process of finding me again.

[@julierossbrickley146]

@Ilir Cami yes, and that's a whole other story!

[@mammadingo9165]

Yes I feel like I had been killed internally by dramatic traumatic changes ...a big part of me died

[@mammadingo9165]

@@julierossbrickley146 thankyou for sharing .

[@animiteva6122]

Tom, your channel is officially the most amazing thing that exists on KZbin. THANK YOU.

[@viswavijeta5362]

7:40 visualize what it's like to not have something that you value. Visualize not wanting that fleat of boats, who you would be if you do not desire what you desire. 25:00 what you do effortlessly others have to go through a lot of pain and stress to do that. You gotta find your effortless work.

[@TheScottGillies]

THE SECOND YOU SAID "Mourning" I TOTALLY KNEW WHERE YOU WERE GOING!! Ego deaths are a helluva thing!

[@dronesandnature]

🌱🌱Great questions: What do I want to struggle with? What problems do I want? What pain gets me going? What do I value? What helpful and useful narratives am I creating/re-writing from my life experiences? Love Newton's laws of emotions... ✔✔Congrats on 1 million!

[@william7yifans]

the way tom's smile slowly widens at 39:50 as he's processing mark's words and thinking about how deeply that represents him is so representative of what makes these conversations great

[@Im1BossyChick]

I even love how Tom gives hugs, so genuine, appreciative, & humble. I just love this guy!

[@chessdude67]

I learned to solve a Rubik's Cube at 59 years young. It's never too late...

[@brittanynicole4370]

chessdude67 Lol!!! Congrats!

[@chessdude67]

Brittany Barr Thank you! 🙏

[@chessdude67]

TR P Thanks TR P! 👍

[@BenokanobiSama]

Congratulations @chessdude67 Super Awesomeness in play.. I was born when my dad turn 54 on 1975. We can't grow old until we allowed us too. I gonna think about something to learn too. So Chessdude, I wish you all the best in beating your own time score perhaps with 2 cubes?

[@chessdude67]

@@BenokanobiSama Thank you so much, BenokanobiSama!! Thank you for sharing a bit of your story. My mom and dad were 47 years old when I was born. My older brother was 20 years old and in the Army when I showed up, lol!! I am now taking guitar lessons along with cubing! So far I'm loving it. I was a professional Drummer for 40 years or so. I love learning new things! Learn, my new friend and please share with me again. Best to you! Take care. 👍🏼👍🏼✌🏼

[@littleoceandrop]

sending love to all of you , if you are here, you are my people ;)

[@jaykash9091]

fuck U, im not ur "PPL". But speaking of fuck them to..... 🖕 🥶🖤

[@nadlei3270]

This guy is so brilliant. Changed my perspective a whole lot.

[@MrUniqueLiving]

Tom hitting 1 Mil and having my favorite blogger/author on Impact Theory. I'm crying tears of Fu**ing joy

[@camandjaiden]

Tom, this is going to be another one of your interviews I come back to over and over again. Thank you for putting out such amazing content, I am not sure you will ever comprehend the changes you've created in so many peoples lives. Truly grateful.

[@constance4065]

Cam and Jaiden I TOTALLY AGREE!!!!

[@valerijavranjes9937]

Couldn't agree more on this! This show has became such a pivotal part of my upgrading as a person and learning about world!! Thank you Tom, keep up the amazing work!!

[@camandjaiden]

@@valerijavranjes9937 Totally! He has single handedly changed my life!

[@cortexleadershipconsulting2107]

Watching Tom’s time with guests is a masterclass for me in creating valuable conversations. I am a huge fan of this show!

[@barrieevans890]

Great interview. Thanks for giving your guest the space to be himself. I only started learning about Mark Manson and his views on “self-help” in the last few days. What I appreciate about your style is that you allow me to learn about your guest rather than learn only how you view your guest.

[@yusstoss]

I love how every new video is right on time for the current challenges I am facing. Thanks for your hard work!

[@daniellerodgers6493]

You’re the best interviewer I could ask for. Congrats on 1MIL! 🥳🤩❤️

[@HolyRomanApostolic]

This guy is a great interviewer, asks really interesting questions and is an excellent listener too. Subscribed!

[@crappykeys]

Stumbled upon this show just now. What a talk. Hats off to both men here. The questions and answers were both amazing. Specially the pace of the discussion. The clarity with which both of them are speaking here is crystal clear.

[@ShaunPrince]

I love this interview setting, the absolutely relevant topics, and these insanely detailed description with time markers.

[@MightyKern]

This interview was so amazing. He said some of the most amazing insights I have ever heard, It all just really made a lot of sense to me. Thank you for this interview!

[@amybeard2054]

Loved The Subtle Art and know that this book will be equally as awesome. Thanks for another great interview and another book to add to my reading list. Well done!!

[@NitemareAfterKrismas]

Tom’s always such a great interviewer. He’s got this amazing talent to be in conversations, and to truly listen to his guests. It’s awesome.

[@aprilalt8806]

Tom is such a brilliant interviewer. He asks the questions people want to know in the most profound ways. His introductions are brilliant as well! Fantastic channel. I especially loved and agreed with the concept at the end of the interview to help people see different perspectives. That's what I want to do.

[@EliaCanu]

Congrats on 1 Million! Well deserved, Tom!

[@momona7637]

Elia Canu Yes he deserves more.

[@EliaCanu]

@@momona7637 for sure!

[@TheErow44]

Agree, I honestly just feel bad that 99.9% of people in the world AREN’T subscribed!! You’ve got your work cut out for you Tom!! Hope you live to be 500 years old and touch the lives of every single person on Earth

[@EliaCanu]

@@TheErow44 👍

[@gracyru8806]

@@EliaCanu for sure! And congrats to all the new subscribers. This channel will have such a great impact on their lives. I know it has helped me change my mindset. 💃

[@AvecGracey]

“Act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of any other, never merely as a means to an end, but always at the same time as an end.”

[@anadias8310]

Congratulations on 1M subscribers Tom! This channel is Life Changing...so grateful to have this as part of my self growth journey! Thank you!

[@user-ec3wr8ym7d]

Congratulations on one million subs big bro. Proud to be here since the start. Knew you'd make it here fast with the incredible value you give away. It's way more valuable an correct then most. The understanding you have given me I appreciate you so much ❤️🙂

[@pohkeee]

36 minutes on...you construct yourself, so you can equally empower yourself to reconstruct yourself. Bonus happiness if the new you is worthy of self-esteem.

[@venkatiyengar7110]

Finally up to a million! Congrats Tom and the IT team!! :)

[@kreativepulp8760]

You know... as much as I love your introductions, I get super excited when you utter the words, "so please! Help me in welcoming". I love it Tom.

[@adinsoftic]

Thanks for writing the Notes with content and times, really appreciate it.

[@energygiver]

Possibly my Favourite Episode yet!!! Wow!

[@MF_OXF]

Hands down my favourite channel on KZbin, thank you 3000, Tom!!!

[@violandabeer1340]

How come we say hands down? I don't understand the positive of that phrase is all. I just don't get it. Shouldn't we say hands held high? Like raise and praise? Just a thought.

[@MF_OXF]

@@violandabeer1340 "hands down phrase of hand easily and decisively. "Swindon won hands down" synonyms: easily, effortlessly, with ease, with no trouble, with very little trouble, without effort, with very little effort; informal by a mile, no sweat"

[@ananastea]

Emmanouil Filippidis that was just a thought about its origins I think

[@tyvanhworkout]

Love the conversation about what one does that just comes naturally and no matter how difficult or frustrating, it doesn't seem to require the discipline and effort as it does for others for whom it doesn't come so easily or naturally, or as other things that are difficult for you. Those things we need to pay attention to. Love this.

[@alinashah4803]

This book helped me get out of the worst depression. I was broken and mentally and emotionally suffering after faces many traumatic experiences. I highly recommend everyone to read this book. It's a gem. Easily helps you pull yourself together and how to make yourself a priority.

[@graememac376]

Congrats on the million mark Tom. Thanks for all the knowledge you share 🤙🏻

[@agag4866]

Now we all have to practice all this knowledge. Good luck! Without action it's just words.

[@gersonllames7367]

You got 1M already Tom, you're the man. Congrats!

[@demonicsweaters]

What I love about your podcast/youtube show, is it's always so elevating, inspiring, and positive. So many podcasts are full of negativity and people complaining about the modern world. You are like a breath of fresh air.

[@heathcliffbeareroflight3161]

I absolutely love this! You ask some REALLY good questions, and things that NO ONE ever touches upon.

[@joyfullmom0068]

There you go again with that listening into my life and knowing what I'm struggling with. Just realizing last night and today that I generally hold a definition of myself as inherently broken. I'm hoping this realization will help me get to the next level and stop spolinning my wheels.

[@sunrise_dog6475]

Same lady. Sending love, light and strength your way

[@aminalovewaz]

Great show Tom! Mark has definitely opened my mind to new ways of teaching emotional intelligence - "which shitsandwich do you prefer?" Brilliant!

[@taniamarshall9327]

Wow I avoided this vid for the longest time but once again @Tombilyeu and the gang bring it home! And with 1 million subscribers! So proud of you Tom ❤❤❤

[@newplanman9836]

Yeaaaaah😔 dialoguing between the thinking and feeling self "what kinds of problems am I willing to conquer" is a great approach to map the land to success. Epic

[@mastermind0981]

Tom, love the way you interview. I noticed you're always prepared. Well done.

[@abdullkadiribrahim730]

Wonderful.. Mark Manson you will always remain in my mind wat a marvelous interview.

[@allisonb.8492]

Tom is an amazing interviewer and listener. You can tell he is very down to earth and has worked his ass off for the career that he has!

[@TiffanyHallmark]

This was exactly what I needed this morning. Now I know what book to read next. Thank you so much for bringing this today.

[@martinazelenkova6630]

I just love this guy

[@jimmyhe2967]

"Pick your damn suffering." ---Jordan Peterson, oh btw get him on the show Tom

[@willemiennel8585]

Oh yes! FANTASTIC IDEA!

[@mrknarf4438]

Find the greatest rock you can carry and carry it. This guy is also saying: yes, but find the rock shaped in a way that fits your arms, and if you've picked up the wrong rock it's ok to mourn for it when you decide to change it. But find a shape that fits you, only then you'll be able to lift a great rock, and only of that particular shape.

[@korban007]

Congrats on a million Tom, thanks for a great interview today!

[@drobuggs1362]

Great and real content as usual. I look forward to these interviews every week.

[@crisg.6236]

Wow! This is some good stuff right here. I teach Emotional Intelligence and tend to be in contrast with what a lot of other people in the space say b/c there is SO much (wrong) advocacy that (a) your emotions are crazy and only your logic is "intelligence" , (b) the goal is to use only logic and subdue emotion as much as possible = No. Nuh-uh. and NOPE! Not true. Our emotions, as Mark says here, are the more powerful driver. The goal is not to shut that down but to use logic to help give direction (not take over driving) ... there is a lot of smart, smart stuff in this interview. Too many great points to comment on. Mark's pragmatic explanations of this stuff is spot on!

[@hannahbush9354]

This was such a great interview! Congrats on 1 million subscribers, Tom!!!

[@anangeluiza]

Omg, this episode is one of the best! It just came as a glove to me and the moment I’m going thru. Love it, thanks Tom and Mark!

[@chelseastudios]

Just discovered your channel and absolutely devouring your content. Awesome guests and quality interviewing my man. Thank you! 🔥

[@Irina-ks4bj]

Wow this was an incredible talk. Thank you Tom for bringing in Mark Manson. I read his book and could relate to his kind of thinking and you asked powerful questions. Accepting the truth about not knowing who you are is exactly where I am right now minus the accepting part. How do I convince myself that it is ok to not know where I am headed at this time? :)

[@tbd5082]

Tom Is the best interviewer!!

[@cristinemackenzie2989]

I started to get curious about his book. This guy Mark Manson. Every word he said is exactly speak with my experience in my self. It's amazing how the host able to deliver the important question that the viewer has no idea that is absolutely an important question until it's being asked. Two thumbs up.

[@andrewanderson6618]

Once I was told to sit in front of a mirror, introduce myself to myself. "You at first you won't get passed hello but if you keep it up you will end up having deep conversations with yourself". Unfortunately I didn't have the courage to begin. I now feel that I need too

[@a7xfanben]

His books are very good. Thanks for having him on!

[@lylan8737]

I literally cried how he is right about the fact that our identity is build from our experiences in childhood and how we stumble upon same situations all our lives and we dont know why that is. The question is what to do when we are unable to find new identity and our old one is fucked up

[@harveylin3548]

"drama of the gifted child" by Alice Miller, matter of fact, all her books.

[@rockynenshati7391]

I tore my ACL during soccer game when young. I held a grudge about it for years convinced it ruined my potential. Ive always sombered over decitions I wouldnt have made had I known better or had control. I also often put myself In other peoples shoes and wish I could help. The best advice I can give is grow out of it. My injury made me realize things I otherwise wouldn't have.

[@silviatunnell8514]

Congratulations on widening your impact Tom!! 1 million and counting!!! 🎉 So rad!

[@hamish518]

I want to extend my gratitude for these interviews. This is the second one I've seen, and it has been so enlightening. This is really helpful and useful knowledge. Much thanks. H.

[@happyagarwal9506]

Congratulations Lisa mam and tom sir finally reached the landmark of impact family Be legend!!!

[@silviahoffmann158]

My god! U read my mind. This is exactly what I needed today

[@lostmillenial2381]

Thank you Tom and Mark for this amazing insightful conversation!

[@comdrive3865]

23:00 is one of the most fascinating stories. Even hearing it spoken like that is good. What comes natural for some is what they're designed and aligned to keep doing, when you find that sweet spot for you, you just keep doing it and progress will come.

[@vendictum]

This is one of the best channels ✊

[@jackcarlos]

Great question "what about people that don't know their identity or what they want to be". Wish he gave us more on that question. How do we find our passion, niche, thing in life that drives us, especially knowing that most people (other musicians in Mark's case) are way better than us?

[@haideraliansari211]

this is the first episode i watched from beginning to the very end.. amazing knowledge. thank you

[@RecaJ333]

Just finished Marks book and wow. just wow. i'm so grateful to have been able to access and read it.

[@mikepawlikguitar]

Hey Tom, want to say thank you for helping to get me back on the right track-and I am relatively certain that I can speak for others as well. You and Mark are two of the most important people I can think of in my life, of course including Mel Robbins, Bob Proctor, and last (but DEFINITELY not least) Gary V. Y'all are the virtual mentors/role models I wish I had in real life but hey... they say it doesn't matter HOW you are mentored, as long as you ARE, whether online or in-person, Skype calls. So here's a genuine thank you for your work, your KZbin channel and your podcast. Cheers dude. By the way, the way in which Mark says Kant (Cohnt) is actually just him trying not to sound like he's saying cunt lol. But in German, and German is my native tongue, Kant is actually pronounced "cunt" in German. On the extreme off-chance Mark reads this, now he knows !

[@GraceAnastasia]

OMG so true!! Love this!!

[@krshrv]

i am usually wary of pop-psych interviews with authors billed as "entrepreneurs" due to the seemingly inevitable conflation of "success" with "wealth" and "personal power", but i was delighted to hear this guy unpack those mistakes right up front. this is a very cogent discussion of the importance of ethics in self-development, with some helpful new perspectives on the usual tropes of self-help formulas.

[@uncagedmindset]

Thank you for emphasizing the importance of VALUES. You have inspired us to do an entire episode on values and the foundation of this. So true, that we assign value to things like money when, this paper or coin really doesn't mean anything. Thank you Tom for bringing Mark Manson on as your guest! :) Great content!

[@LoftBallerina]

Great interview! Absolutely relatable for me at the moment! I finally realized my favorite shit sandwich flavor! I spent years in the fitness industry because I was good at it, but I started dreading everything about it, so I never got ahead on many projects. Because what I really wanted to do was to teach ballet to adults and dance and be immersed in the dance world, yet I relegated that to second place because I though it was too niche. Now that I am focusing 100% on actually doing what I love and put ballet at the center of my work and graduate research , everything is going great and I embrace projects with incredible passion! Thanks guys! And congrats Tom !!!

[@jerrystevens4823]

This was me when I was became an MLO, now I'm pursuing Acting and salsa/bachata dancing!

[@TheZGALa]

I fluctuate between high and low self esteem lots of times most of days...

[@alexxandra11r]

Absolutely LOVE seeing one of my all time favourite authors alongside Tom !!!! this is amazing !!!!!

[@felicitas1921]

He explains the thinking black holes I go through in my head so eloquently! He is so on point, too.

[@thecelestialheart]

Yup, the whole thing you said about mourning an identity. I did that too. I was a musical theater student and there was an aspect of it that i loved so much, but there was something about it that i did not like at all. I tasted that shit sandwich, now i am trying a different one. It definitely felt like a break up, i cried for a whole plane ride when i realized it wasnt for me anymore. Hehe.

[@lilydalesierra]

The Celestial Heart oh my gosh I can relate. I mourned not having a nuclear family for so long... I look back now and realize how much time I wasted in mourning a value that wasn’t meant for me.

[@ernestbuckley8671]

Thx for sharing. What are you doing now? Did you discover your true calling/purpose?

[@thecelestialheart]

@@ernestbuckley8671 Hi there! I have discovered my true calling. My childhood left clues. After graduating college with a communications degree, I am now pursuing art, painting and healing. I have spent the past few months doing some journaling to heal my past self and also learning how to draw more seriously. I am giving myself till the end of the year to just play with the process and next year I will be sharing what I make.

[@ernestbuckley8671]

@@thecelestialheart 🙏❤️🙏