Ex-Wife Married My BEST FRIEND And It's Ruining Everything r/Relationships

[@UzumakiDonnoHinata]

Say it with me: if they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you.

[@atomic-buddha]

Let's say it louder for those in the back.

[@marcelasande7000]

IF THEY'LL CHEAT WITH YOU, THEY'LL CHEAT ON YOU!!

[@lusnoct4298]

That, and cheaters never change.

[@barbarafarquharson4826]

When a man marries his mistress, he creates a vacancy

[@alisonzunguze8183]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

A bit rich that he omitted the fact that OP cheated on his ex on the first post, lmao, that's a pretty important nugget of information to leave out. So delusional to make himself the victim and act like the split was amicable and his ex was just cold to him for no reason.

[@MarkNarrations]

I know right, when I got to that part I was like you bloody cheeky so and so!

[@tonivhorstman9267]

I live for these little missing details!

[@Russman67]

In journalism it's called "burying the lead". 🤦‍♂️

[@Sherwoody]

OP’s ex and his former best friend had one thing in common. They both think OP is an AH.

[@lun4r.h4ze]

And he said “we were so happy until she decided to leave me” LIKE BRO U CHEATED?!?!

[@bricksloth6920]

"out of respect i made sure the divorce was easy as possible" dude if you respected her you wouldn't have been cheating on her. What a wet paper bag of a person

[@Azulakayes]

That's probably why his ex-wife didn't even text him thanks unlike his parents who got thank you cards.

[@Mewse1203]

"nO oNe cArEs aBoUt mEn'S mEnTaL hEaLtH" No, no one cares that a cheating douchr canoe who verbally abused his wife is suffering the consequences of his actions.

[@redh9249]

Wet paper bag 😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@thomasjoseph5876]

LOL I think EVERYONE was cheating in this story including the "Best Friend" and his Ex-wife. It is just a gross story all around. Big Down Vote

[@aislynncarpenter701]

​@@thomasjoseph5876 What makes you think that? There were years in between the divorce and his discovery that the two were together, and some time before the friend started distancing himself. I don't see any reason to assume the ex wife and friend were together before the divorce.

[@GalliaUchiha]

Story 1: "she'd send her worst enemy a thank-you card" Obviously not. What kind of delusional is this guy? 😐

[@lilunette9319]

Op sounds like a massive narcissist. Pretending to be the victim, everyone belongs to him, finds vulnerable people he can use as doormats (hence the way he talks about his ex-wife), and missing missing reasons. He doesn't understand that he can't control people and that he's not the center of the universe. Ugh, he's so annoying.

[@royal_stray7734]

Thank you card with poison in it?

[@Vida7354]

So the cheater is simply crying that karma is biting his ass

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 1: He really seemed to have convinced himself that the divorce was a) 100% her decision (since she was the one who said the words "I want a divorce" after discovering his long-term affair), and b) "amicable" because they didn't get into screaming fights about wedding dishes or whatever.

[@Nortarachanges]

Also the part “she’d send a text to her worst enemy.” Who does he think her worst enemy is if not her cheating ex husband?

[@bambicrandi]

Something happened to him as a kid. Something bad that he admits that is possibly a cause of his bad behavior and trauma. I can say by experience, if you a child who has been ‘touched’ it really can mess with your relationship and head. I was very blind, and bad at cheating when I was younger. It took therapy for me to recognize the self destruction path I set myself on. So now he might be able to get closure. Which will give closure to others.

[@kentario1610]

​@@Nortarachanges oh good point, I didn't catch that!

[@XaraK1]

​@@bambicrandiStop it. That's a WIIIIIILD assumption

[@Goldie22]

​​@@XaraK1multiple times through the story he mentioned a really bad traumatic incident happening in his childhood, one that he bonded through with his current wife. SA isn't too much of a stretch, but yeah you're right that we shouldn't assume

[@JustJamie4ever]

I found it hilarious how he was way more upset about his wife not telling him about his ex marrying his bf than when she told him that he is not the father of her unborn child...

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Considering he had to be convinced to have a child in the first place, I’m not that surprised.

[@AngelaMerici12]

He never mentions his first child. I think he doesn't care at all.

[@CurliFox]

​@@AngelaMerici12 I saw this video on another channel that went into more detail. When his current wife was just a mistress, she got pregnant. But he wasnt the father of that child either.

[@hrvojebutkovic]

It sounds like he has done a lot of work on himself between the two events.

[@istealsyourcookie]

honestly i think its the medication. he went from being super emotional to being kind of monotone, which can happen with anti-depressants. It sounds like hes really trying to become a better person and its not that he doesnt care the baby isnt his.

[@catpatrick3838]

Dude in story one needs to divorce his current wife and remain single. Yikes, what a train wreck he and his current wife are 🙄!

[@KCohere33]

Which he admitted to 😂

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Ikr. Like, the wife says they don't need couples counselling cuz they "always solve issues". But OP knew about the baby maybe not being his before it was born. So she cheated, got pregnant but we talked about it so we're fine." 😂🤦 So maybe the reversed vasectomy might not even have been successful? There's so much onion slices to peel off in this story, and OP didn't even explain what that youth trauma was that he got - or what his current wife went through.

[@CircusoftheMoon]

He doesn’t seem capable of it. He’ll find wife #3 before he leaves wife #2.

[@carlrood4457]

It's like a situation where two people are drowning, reaching out for help, and just dragging each other down faster.

[@mbyerly9680]

One less emotional dumpster fire for those poor kids to deal with.

[@0215tania]

OP is seriously rotten on the head for 3 reasons: 1. What did he expect when he married a 21 yo with 3 children who was fine by being the mistress first. 2. And calling him, his "best friend" who hasn't talked to him in 3 years. 3. And an ex wife who wanted nothing to do with him, calling that an amicable separation

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

He is not the most reliable narrator

[@Pepe-em9gj]

He's definitely living in delulu land😅

[@frozenheart7133]

He's a narcissist. That's exactly how the world is to them. Source: I was married to a narcissist for 8 years. He married a 21 year old for the 4th time.

[@TheTrueKarin]

Still laughing over the fact the moment he heard his „bff“ got married he did not even get the slightest hint. New Hubby may be Op‘s best friend but it is definitely not the other way aroun😂

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

​@@TheTrueKarinhe not only is not married anymore to his new wife but he is married to somebody else. He has no business with them

[@TheBlueDsc]

"No one gives a shit about mental health when it comes to men" Nah son, it's that no one gives a shit about cheaters who don't take any accountability for their cheating and act like the victim. Edit: Just to clarify. I agree with the sentiment itself. Men's mental health is a topic that too many people dismiss. That been said, in this context it's just a person using a real issue to justify their shittiness.

[@kp2223]

💯💯💯

[@XaraK1]

Dudes created a trope of women asking them how they feel and what they're thinking, labelled it as women being annoying, then created the narrative that no one cares about their mental health 😂

[@carterpitbull7366]

@@XaraK1So true lmao. Or the “men who cry are pussies” thing they’ve yelled about for years. They’re the ones who put themselves in that place, women don’t have that kind of power lol.

[@PinkMarshmallows]

"No one gives a shit about mental health when it comes to men" That is actually true, as men unaliving is on the rise. OP is a cheater, and I condemn him for it, but society doesn't care about men's mental health.

[@SirBitingBen]

No it’s true. I’ve been called a pussy by both men and women for talking about this shit, so you just learn to bottle it up. He’s a piece of shit still, but that’s a aside note

[@kentario1610]

"she betrayed me by not telling me the entire time she knew" I burst out laughing

[@felix0-014]

Karma hit this dude with the entire book.

[@lya9677]

From front page cover all the way through to the back end page cover

[@thatwaffleguy4958]

​@@lya9677 Nah, it rolled out the book cart with each past edition of the book so it had extra ammo.

[@felix0-014]

@@thatwaffleguy4958 dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@velentr]

_"The results came back last week and she isn't mine"_ More like the entire library, damn.

[@RG-vs8qz]

Story 1: OP is really in his own world. He starts the story like he and his ex wife divorced amicably and then later tells us that he cheated. He gets angry at everyone else for a mess he created

[@AngelaMerici12]

Also, he never mentions the kid he had with his ex wife 😂!

[@linkinlady06]

LOL!! I love how OP just conveniently left out how he cheated on his ex-wife with his current wife but yet HE feels betrayed!?!?!?! THE AUDACITY! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MarkNarrations]

I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts. It's called: "Leave me the fuh cologne." I'm not sorry, have a lovely Thursday all

[@crowmisfits]

[@micahpatchen1538]

buahahaha goofball! 🥰

[@aly4920]

Need it right now to use against nosy coworkers 😅 Thank you for the laugh, needed it ❤

[@FlamesofJagger]

I needed a good laugh this morning

[@RadioOppy1]

Honestly feel like that’d sell out lol

[@Wander85942]

The ex wife had the nerve to move onto happiness in a new relationship instead of waiting for OP as he moved on with a new wife and family. Wait a minute-

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

It's almost as if the divorce just happened yesterday. Oh wait....

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@velentr]

The ex is truely a monster, even selfishly deciding to divorce her husband after discovering that he cheated on her.

[@caridadchang7895]

op: I have been with my wife for 5 years and divorced since 2019 me: it's 2024, is this an important detail? op: we got divorced after I cheated on my wife me: _pretends to be shocked_

[@lya9677]

The fainting salt is still an option, do not worry

[@vanzy01]

Lolo💯👍🏿

[@Deedoof]

I have no sympathy for cheaters, but I DO have sympathy for OP putting on his big boy pants to be a better person. I speak from experience; horrific childhood experiences kills part of you, and some people try to heal it in the worst ways.

[@alorarhodes1568]

And it sounds like a trauma bond. He needs to go see a lawyer. He wants to stay in those kids lives and that's the only way to do it. Trauma bonds genuinely ruin lives sometimes

[@samaryechic]

This!!

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

OP gives a really accurate and compelling view of therapy: I'm a shitty person, but I wasn't always a shitty person and it's helping me understand where I went wrong. He accepts his failure, he isn't wallowing, he's set a goal for himself and he's doing the work to be better and that’s commendable.

[@FlamesofJagger]

I just hope he continues with it. He really needs to work on himself

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

His current wife aswell. "We talked about it so the issue is solved. No need for therapy." Lady, you cheated and had a baby from someone else. OP deserves her though.

[@lorddaegoth]

Thank you for having both sense and empathy. So many just want to drink in self righteous indignation, but this - assuming he continues getting better - the best outcome.

[@zapheil]

Yeah, it honestly does seem like therapy is already doing wonders for him. What an incredible level of introspection he’s already accomplished! I hope he can convince his wife to give it a go, too.

[@Callimo]

@@lorddaegoth Yes yes, well make sure your don't fall off the balcony of your ivory tower while getting drunk off of your own self righteousness 🤣

[@emzkinz]

It's crazy how cheaters will delude themselves into believing their ex was the reason for the divorce when they leave them for cheating. I've met several people who would frame it as their spouse left them. But people know they were the ones who cheated. A lot of the time the person who files is not the reason for the divorce.

[@KJ-sp9jq]

S1: I almost believe in Karma after this story. Never ceases to amaze me the people who blow up their own life and then get mad about it. OP has no one to blame but himself.

[@carolroberts4614]

I don't believe in Karma. My ex is still flourishing......

[@bhart3321]

And seemingly he seems to understand that now. Good for him for taking responsibility & putting the work in. Now he needs to divorce the current train wreck of wife cuz she needs to realize she's as much to blame for her situation & needs to come to those same conclusions OP has on her own & start the process for herself. She aught to do it for her kids if nothing else cuz her lifestyle is just adding to the cycle generational trauma.

[@rosefriday4287]

Well, it's good that first story OP has acknowledged the problems he caused, apologized for them, and is moving on with his life. I hope that he is able to start fresh

[@vegaskullkid4503]

Yeah, that's the one good thing 'bout this.

[@lya9677]

Surface dwelling.... Maybe he'd get it one day Surely hope its not on his dying bed though

[@loganjoh1]

Yeah he will never be able to undo what he did in the past but if he actually does the work he can change and become a better person in the future.

[@pinkdipi]

It sounded like he actually did a lot of work and progress from his original post. He should be proud of his growth 👏

[@emmyalice]

This! So often we hear about terrible people who only double down the more people try to point out they’re behaving terribly. It does hurt to unpack that, so most of them don’t bother. I also hope OP is able to genuinely grow and move on from this.

[@Regrettable-Username]

Story 2: If I were the wife in this situation, I'd bluntly ask if he'd be okay with the reverse situation. If a male neighbor kept giving me that much attention and wanting to go on trips with me while complaining that his wife wasn't willing to do things like that with him. Even continuing trips when our kid backs out so it's just me, him and his kid looking like a happy family over the weekend. Would he be okay with that? And if he wasn't and told me "please stop doing that, it's making me uncomfortable" then I just dismissed him and kept doing it, how would he feel about the whole thing? Or if that didn't make him see it with an outside prospective, I'd be like "If I told you my sister and her husband were going through this exact situation, what would you think about it?" It's obvious that the neighbor is trying to use the husband as a fill-in of some kind right now. Doesn't matter if she wants a better father figure or a more involved husband, the whole thing is inappropriate and sketchy. It's opening the door to an emotional affair and those can be *_extremely_* damaging to a marriage. He needs to prioritize his wife over the any promises he's made to the neighbor.

[@jay2thaudy]

Not to the update yet but the friends reaction and him playing up how amicable the divorce was paired with his ex never talking to him again makes me think he cheated with the current wife and the friend was disgusted and gave the ex wife support and that's how they ended up together. Just a prediction Update: NAILED IT. EFF THIS DUDE!! 😂

[@imjustgonnasayit415]

Me, hearing the start of the story: “awww poor guy… 😢” Me, hearing 8:01 : “oh boohoo, stfu” Me, hearing update 2: “good for him for tackling his problems”

[@AutumnFire1414]

Story 1: I am glad that OP sought therapy and towards the end sounds like he's making progress in becoming a better person.

[@hrvojebutkovic]

Story 1: I love the update. To see a deeply broken person take full responsibility for the mess he's made, start the difficult and painful work of dealing with his childhood trauma, to learn and grow as a human being, and then take the broken pieces of his life and try to make them whole again, is truly inspiring.

[@mikef2811]

S1: He is the one that left his marriage by cheating, but cries about it when she moved on...LMAO.

[@gwdzee]

probably because she was the one who broke it off, and not him. It's a funny thing with cheaters: getting butthurt that the person they're cheating on wants nothing to do with them anymore...like they actually expect this person to be their back-up partner. LOL NO.

[@mikef2811]

@@gwdzee The moment a person cheats, he or she already left the marriage, regardless of who made the final decision to on move on afterward.

[@micahpatchen1538]

Story 1: OP makes me soooooooo tired!!! he's exhausting, me me me ! ~~Consequences of my acccctttiiooonnnsssss!~~

[@Myskitti]

You know what? Good on first story OP for starting therapy. I can tell from the way his narration style changed and the way he describes his experience that he is taking it seriously, and I wish him luck on his healing journey.

[@nekorei2023]

The title: huh!?! What is this The story: WHAT The aftermath: ...idk what to say.

[@rqstuv9336]

Dude, just looking at the original post I knew something was wrong with op... I was rolling my eyes when he said he cheated on her with his current wife...

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

Story 2: OP needs to ask her husband if he's cheating on her with the neighbor. If she just "forbids" him to contact the neighbor, he's going to do it on the sly. If he's not already cheating, he needs a "come to Jesus" convo with OP to put a stop to the whole thing.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 husband is the biggest problem here. He's going on dates with this woman. The husband isn't nice. He's incredibly disrespectful. You shouldn't be doing all this when it makes your wife uncomfortable

[@carolroberts4614]

Exactly! He's not clueless.

[@bhart3321]

Yeah this is the male equivalent of thirst trapping. He's loving all the attention & validation this woman is giving him & at the very least this has turned into an EA as even if it's during work hours he replies to her immediately. Like those women that post thirst traps he may not have intended to have an affair but it's developing into one nonetheless cuz he's addicted to the attention.

[@anthonym6119]

He has a second family

[@mbyerly9680]

Yeah, he's stomping on the feelings of his wife and his own son, and he doesn't care.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

I think the husband is clueless and just thinks this is about snowboarding, something he really enjoys and is happy to teach. Maybe the neighbor does have bad intentions but then again she and her son are getting instructions and recommendations for free, something that wouldn’t be possible from a hired instructor. I think OP should just lay it all out loud and clear because her husband isn’t really getting it. Like, he isn’t being an AH, he’s just being ignorant.

[@TheRockinDonkey]

Ugh. I’m so sick of cheaters playing the victim. Keep doing what you do, Mark!

[@babytone54]

Story 1. That part 2 tho?! The Karma in part 1, i was living for it! Then the turnaround? I was like maaaan. It was quite the volley. Glad hes getting help!

[@jenniferanderson7010]

No one betrayed the waitress marrying dude. Once your ex is an ex, they are open game and ANYONE can date them. Dude left his ex and is being cagey as to why they divorced. I think he cheated.

[@katwiltz1134]

And I can say steaks or fishes with plates it doesn't make it true betrayal is betrayal no not anyone can date your ex and it's a betrayal so either learn how to read the room or just keep on whatever Spectrum your own but know it would be weird if like your dad divorced your mom and then his brother was shagging her it would be I don't know I guess a betrayal

[@starbird3939]

Story 1 Update HA! Of course the 21 year old who wrecked OP’s cheated with would also cheat on OP. What did he expect?

[@toothless3835]

In my opinion, the 21 year old didn't wreck his marriage. He did. She was a woman who had 3 kids before 21. Likely didn't have a lot of support or any kind of real self-esteem. And in anycase, it's ALWAYS the one in a relationship's job to not cheat. Not someone single to not tempt them. Yeah, if she pursued him knowing he was married or stayed with him after she found out, then she's an asshole. But she also has zero obligation to the now ex wife who is a stranger to her. The fault completely rests on the husband alone as his now ex wife was someone he supposedly loved and respected. Considering he didn't include that he was cheating on his now ex wife with his current one, I'm willing to bet he didn't include a lot of other damning details. There is a good chance he pursued her based on how delusion he was calling his divorce amicable and not knowing why she wouldn't respond to his birthday wishes and such.

[@user-blob]

@@toothless3835 Agreed.

[@toxicginger9936]

The current wife is realising/playing the card of "If you'll cheat *with* her, you'll cheat *on* her." And its probably true. And same for the current wife... if she'll cheat with you, she'll cheat on you. So Much Karma.

[@zukanator3555]

I ended up having to play the first story back to catch this. And up until that point I had actually been on OPs side. He says that the divorce was totally amicable and yet then you catch his best friend saying what does it matter you ended up breaking her heart and going for a younger waitress anyway. So really let that sink in guys he left his wife for a young waitress and now he's pissed that his best friend married his ex

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

And then the waitress cheated on him and the baby isn't his. But ofc OP is the victim 😂

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

The moment he divorced her, no matter how amicable it was, she could date whoever she wished. Not his business

[@lya9677]

Yup He's a clogged toilet

[@KCohere33]

Story 1: Im glad that the OP recognized that he was the problem and was getting help for his issues. I’d say that’s progress.

[@tothewonder6248]

Story 1, they both need to divorce and stay single. Story 2, They should have just told the husband the son wanted one on one time. The neighbor lady sounds lonely.

[@lapatti]

Second story: I would confront the neighbour and tell her to back off, since the husband doesn't know how to deal with it

[@maxpanzer10]

Excitedly listening to this while eating my breakfast at the hospital after being hit by a distracted driver in stopped traffic and fracturing my pelvis and spine

[@westland.u8878]

Ouch sorry something like that happened to you. May you have a swift recovery.

[@dylanadavis2118]

Yikes! I hope your recovery is smooth and swift.

[@MariaPlacido-b7s]

Sorry to hear about being hit by a car. Hoping for a speedy recovery for you 😊🇨🇦

[@liabowden8526]

😱 that biiiites! 🫂(gentle internet hugs to u!) May your recovery be swift, the pain meds not make you 🤢 (nor addictive!), the hospital food be tasty, and the settlement 💰 be hefty.

[@lya9677]

I love you Metaphorically You're my hero in all of these comments You gots my bestest votes of the year That's how much I love you Cheers!! Get well soon.. . all my best Wishing no matter what the docs says (get a second opinion) But, I hope you never give up on fighting, and always stay.. well .. YOU

[@JustJeff777]

Story 1: Wow. Way to say it was an amicable breakup just to reveal that you cheated on her... then married the lady you cheated with...

[@Musiyca]

Story 2: People pleasers out there not grasping that it's okay to let down a stranger living across the street. Instead they chose to let down spouse and kids in favour of said straingers. Morons. OP is NTA, the neighbour is being innaproperiate at this point and husband should stop answering her messages right away, liek wth??

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

This is one of OPs comments: I know - so many details missing. I said no the first time because she was initially asking me a lot of questions about gear, boards and where to buy them-that I gave answers and resources to her. Said they just didn't know anything or how to buy gear etc. Turns out she knows the owner of a snowboard shop, so not sure why we were the ones to know everything. Also - She kept saying how jealous she was of my husband and how she wished her husband was like mine. Asking all kinds of personal questions that I was uncomfortable with. So then suddenly I noticed she started walking past our house often (never had before as she lives fairly far away) and as soon as my husband was outside she would stop by and overstay her welcome. She started pushing for a time for the 3 of them to go snowboarding together. My husband was clueless and thought she figured I was going too - I asked him to ask her if she thought that, and he found out she didn't expect that I was going. He thought that was strange as well. So that's when I said I was not ok with that. He didn't go. Also - on a side note, the snowboarding experience my husband has with my son is precious and this was going to take time away from that. I knew if my son thought they were going, he would back out (which is what just happened recently). My son has a social anxiety disorder and has his own struggles we are working with. She has her own agenda, and is known as "a dog with a bone" and has a rep for being a crazy woman. I just don't need that in my life.

[@heathercontois4501]

Story 1- At least he has grown enough to acknowledge he has no right to be hurt that his wife cheated on him when he cheated on his ex with said wife.

[@mattiekarwin3667]

Ameccable divorce but she goes no contact, red flag. 'You broke her heart'. Red flag. Clearly not even slightly over her. Red flag. Aaaaand it was cheating. I'm utterly shocked 🙄 at the very least he seems to be in recovery for being an asshole, but the success rate on that is somewhere around one and ten, though admittedly drugs and alcohol tend to have their finger on that particular scale.

[@Lightwaverable]

Story 1: Probably one of the most humbled i’ve ever seen an OP in and update

[@AngelaMerici12]

Am I crazy or he never, EVER mentions the kid he had with his ex wife. He mentiones the pregnancy and the divorce. After that is like it doesn't exist. This guy is a piece of work! And then he says people don't worry about his mental health...

[@diamcole]

OP: Surprised his wife would keep a secret from him. Also OP: Married the AP who was willing to participate in a web of deception with him. Yeah...makes perfect sense. 🤣 Edit: Wow, some honest self reflection and active attempts to grow/change. Good for him, genuinely wish him well and happy that his ex has been able to find happiness.

[@justine8387]

Yeah, crazy that the ex you vheated on hasn't kept you up to date on her personal life 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@ellorasg4525]

Story 1: Karma is beautiful

[@lya9677]

She is actually icy cold, swoops in and out... you only catch a glimpse if you're not in her crosshairs Don't ever ask to see the real face...

[@Aluranae]

Story 1: Okay I'll be blunt...I want to dogpile the douchebag as much as the next person, but it does look like he's genuinely trying and he does own up to it all. So y'know what? Kudos, OP. You're the rare cheater that has actually started to realize shit will not improve until you do. I really do hope things can flip around. I know that infidelity is basically a cardinal sin to the internet but I don't feel it should come with a life sentence of solitude if the person understands and attempts to change.

[@northernexe880]

Honestly sounds like he always had issues stemming from his childhood which messed up his morality of right and wrong so until therapy he probably couldn't see what he was doing wrong. Sounds like he wants to be a better person and therapy having an effect but he is going to divorce his current wife or he going to be knock back to square one. The ex wife the only innocent party in this story but his ex best friend was never his friend and was just waiting around for OP to screw up so he could have a chance.

[@gregorsmirnow6337]

For story 1, I'd like to give OP some credit. Many times, "once a cheater always a cheater" is true, but not always. After his therapy he really does seem to have learned and grown up. I'm glad for that. He did bad, karma got him back, and at current day I feel a lot of sympathy for him. I hope his apparent change sticks. If it doesn't, I'll gladly eat crow :)

[@ZoeyHope]

Oh this is a dramatic birthday gift😳😳😳 It's a gift nonetheless. tysm❤ Edit: Thank you guys so much for the well wishes. I appreciate every single one of you! Happy birthday to those also born on April 25th❤❤❤

[@MarkNarrations]

Zoey's birthday!!! Get in here gang and wish this one a lovely birthday!! Have a great day Zoey!!

[@nekorei2023]

Happy birthday Zoey!

[@invisigoth510]

Happy Birthday, Zoey!

[@lachma26]

Happy Birthday! 🎉🎉

[@kristinasmith2560]

Happy birthday zoey! Hope you’re having an amazing day

[@rylashadow18]

S1) She owes you nothing. If she wanted to reach out she would. Are we sure you ended things on friendly terms? So you cheated. Yeah she for sure owes you nothing. Being hung up on her would have me filing for divorce, taking the kids and running if I were your wife. Also your ex can marry whoever she wants and cut you out. Pure self centered behavior when you need to play the victim. This isn't about the friend. It's about the ex and her moving on. Holy double dipping's karma Batman!

[@Ms777Lena]

So he ended up fiancially supporting a woman and her 4 kids from unknown authors. Well done. I feel sorry for him, he's depressed to no end. I think he'll leave her when he's feeling somewhat better.

[@theunknownone5663]

Story one: this is above everyone pay grade even the therapist.

[@kentario1610]

I summarised this for my brother as "so this guy is upset that his best friend married his ex" and I paused. "Oh and he cheated on his ex and his new wife is 11 years younger". Brother said bruh.

[@lalvarez5151]

Story 1- what a major gaslighter, he tries to hide the biggest point of what happened he CHEATED on his ex with his new 21 year old wife. He made it sound like they randomly broke up and that he was a victim. What a POs. Good thing the ex best friend cut him off

[@gregoryfolsom7882]

Story 2: the quickest way to shut that shit down would be to accompany the husband on snowboarding trips.

[@alexvalentine5091]

Story 1: The minute the “best friend” mentioned the waitress, I knew

[@roevhaal578]

I thought it was either that or someone framed him.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

And OP still doesn't get that his friend wasn't just busy but full on ghosted him for being a cheater 😂

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

​@Nathan_Bookwurm Exactly! Like, dude really couldn't figure out on his own that saving a 21-year-old with his dick _while married_ at the age of 32 might make him someone that his friend may not want to associate with.

[@colinraiders5836]

@@Nathan_Bookwurm ya i agree with ya. but the thing that the best friend always was in love with OPs EX wife doesn`t sound good. matter of fact that he cheated, but if he hadn`t or before that anyone wouldn`t definitely want such friends whom hide something like that from their own friend. to judge the whole thing for me i would need to know the actual affair timeline & details of ap`s interactions with OP .how where when? the d day everything. there is a probable theory going on my head without knowing those details i can`t judge OP just without the sin of his cheating but it will never be proper .

[@SkyEcho751]

@@roevhaal578 Nope, OP admitted that he was sleeping with his current wife(then affair partner) when his wife(now ex) found out, he broke it off with AP but ended up getting a divorce anyways, so he got back with AP and married her. He's a scumbag who intentionally tried to bury the lead on his cheating, he can't whine about loyalty of a friend when he couldn't be loyal to his vows.

[@invisigoth510]

Story One: they did not betray him. He’s obsessed with his ex Wow, everyone in his life thinks he’s a POS. He must be a POS UPDATE: and there it is: he cheated on his ex with his current & the divorce was not amicable. The ex just wanted him out of her life as quickly as possible And the current cheated on him & had someone else’s kid. You lose ‘em how you got ‘em

[@ByrdieFae]

LOL, OP sounds like Tommy Wisseau. "They all betrayed me! I'm fed up with this world!" 😂

[@Peeges_]

Thanks for hanging out with us ❤ wish my grandpa a speedy recovery, he’s having surgery tomorrow.

[@merlinathrawes746]

Neighbor story: It almost sounds like Jane is stalking OP's husband and he's completely oblivious. He's also alienating HIS son in favor of his neighbor's son. He needs to wake up. OP, whether you snowboard or not, it's time for you to tag along and very obviously get in her way whether your son goes along or not. Make it obvious you are going because she is and let your husband know this in no uncertain manner. Yeah, she can hire an instructor for her kid.

[@RadioOppy1]

Story 2: while it is possible (likely) that the neighbor likes ops husband and he’s just clueless I thought of 2 other scenarios that I hadn’t seen talked about. 1.) she could just be trying to make her current husband jealous by “spending time with the neighbor” and hoping that’ll cause him to be more attentive. 2.) she’s using his generosity for free snowboarding lessons for her kid. Why pay an instructor when the “nice neighbor guy” can do it for free

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

A lot of info missing. She’s going to OP’s husband when she knows the owner of a snowboarding shop? Here’s one of OP’s comments: I know - so many details missing. I said no the first time because she was initially asking me a lot of questions about gear, boards and where to buy them-that I gave answers and resources to her. Said they just didn't know anything or how to buy gear etc. Turns out she knows the owner of a snowboard shop, so not sure why we were the ones to know everything. Also - She kept saying how jealous she was of my husband and how she wished her husband was like mine. Asking all kinds of personal questions that I was uncomfortable with. So then suddenly I noticed she started walking past our house often (never had before as she lives fairly far away) and as soon as my husband was outside she would stop by and overstay her welcome. She started pushing for a time for the 3 of them to go snowboarding together. My husband was clueless and thought she figured I was going too - I asked him to ask her if she thought that, and he found out she didn't expect that I was going. He thought that was strange as well. So that's when I said I was not ok with that. He didn't go. Also - on a side note, the snowboarding experience my husband has with my son is precious and this was going to take time away from that. I knew if my son thought they were going, he would back out (which is what just happened recently). My son has a social anxiety disorder and has his own struggles we are working with. She has her own agenda, and is known as "a dog with a bone" and has a rep for being a crazy woman. I just don't need that in my life.

[@JennRighter]

The husband isn’t clueless. He’s an adult man with a teenage son and wife, not an imbecile man baby incapable of recognizing what’s going on. He knows what’s going on. Not only does he know but when his wife said she’s uncomfortable with it he told her he doesn’t care because he doesn’t want anything with neighbor lady to be awkward. Stop blaming women and excusing men when this husband not even honor or care that his wife is uncomfortable with the situation because he’s more concerned about neighbor lady. The neighbor crossing boundaries and being inappropriate would only be the issue of OP’s husband wasn’t acting like he is. The neighbor lady isn’t the issue now, OP’s husband is the issue. He cares more about neighbor lady than his wife or son. That’s the problem. Her husband.

[@sylviajones6745]

Nah, she's after Op',s husband. Pretty sure he's in too. Thing that bugs me is not realizing what he is doing to his own child.

[@bhart3321]

​@@GrumpyOldFart2Wow so husband is clueless but also loving the attention, if only subconsciously, & OP needs to smack him upside the head & show him the post so he can see how literally no one wants to give him the benefit of the doubt & that he's straightup cheating on OP or about to. Guys like this you gotta hit them with cinder block before they get it.

[@AppleStrawberryLove]

@@JennRighter I would agree but even adult men can be surprisingly clueless sometimes. Some people just genuinely don't notice this type of flirting. (I've known a couple people, men and women, like this.) That said, once other people start pointing it out, it's time to face facts. So while I could excuse his ignorance at first, it's at the point where I do lose patience and go "come on, dude. It's obvious and you've been told. Time to face it and start distancing."

[@dandotvid]

"The divorce was amicable" later on "yeah I cheated on her, but did my best to make the divorce easy" Dude, that's not an amicable divorce.

[@AraAra6367]

When OP’s friend mentioned how he had no room to speak bc he broke his ex’s heart.. red flag right there. Someone wasn’t being honest and I wasn’t surprised to find out it was OP. Also his new wife’s baby isn’t his?? WOW Sorry dude you’re not a dad to any of those kids. Just a placeholder. Drop the homewrecker and work on yourself. If the baby wasn’t his, I’m sure that the cheating wasn’t a one off thing.

[@muhname6052]

Story 1: An explanation for why you are the way you are isn't an excuse for being the way you are.

[@Riri_734]

Its an unspoken rule that you don't date a bro's ex. But for this case, it was well deserved since he was the one who cheated lol. Funny how his new wife, the AP, also cheated on him, karma at its finest!!! Its probably for the better that his bestfriend and ex-wife found each other. I always find it dumb how cheaters think it a good idea to marry their AP. Even if the AP was single, if they knowingly and willingly go into the affair then it speaks volumes of their morals and ethics. Don't expect them to be faithful. APs and cheaters are cut from the same cloth.

[@colinraiders5836]

ya i agree with ya . but the thing that the best friend always was in love with OPs EX wife doesn`t sound good. matter of fact that he cheated, but if he hadn`t or before that anyone would definitely don`t want such friends whom hide something like that from their own friend. to judge the whole thing for me i would need to know the actual affair timeline & details of ap`s interactions with OP .how where when? the d day everything. there is a probable theory going on my head without knowing those details i can`t judge OP just without the sin of cheating but it will never be proper .

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

​​@@colinraiders5836doesn't matter. The moment he divorced her because of his cheating nobody owes him an explanation what they do with their lives. They're not their property. And it includes those BS rules enforced by nobody of not marrying or dating your whatever's ex. If was some stupid thing invented by boorish hilly billies in small towns where you were constrained in your dating pool.

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

​@@colinraiders5836the moment he divorced her because of his cheating, she can do with her life whatever she pleases and so goes with his best friend. They are not their property and branded as such and that rule enforced by nobody is not a reason

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

​@@colinraiders5836the moment he divorced her she and his best friend were free to do with their lives whatever they wanted. They don't owe him an explanation

[@jan-ym8jm]

“At least 10 people think he’s their best friend, but he said I was his always” is so funny middle school ahhhhh

[@dannyells]

Lol he cheated on his ex wife with a woman nearly a decade younger and he’s so confused why everyone just ghosted him. He’s a scumbag. 😂

[@theconfusedvampire]

S1: When he said they broke up because HE cheated I almost crashed my electric wheelchair laughing. Wtf is the clown thinking of as betrayal then?! Thank you text?! Really?! 😂🤣🤣🤣

[@somethingelse4204]

I gotta say, even though OP was definitely TA, I'm proud of him for going to therapy and being honest and facing up to his screw ups. He doesn't deserve a gold star or a cookie for doing the mature thing, but sometimes going to therapy means opening your eyes to the fact that you yourself are actually the chaos bringer in your own life and the lives of the people around you. Sometimes, you're TA. It takes character to face it and commit to growth.

[@des1279]

It’s infuriating that he brings up “people don’t care about men’s mental health” or whatever but is like clearly a selfish POS and doesn’t seem to take accountability for his actions. But no it’s everyone around him not helping him bc he’s upset his ex (who he cheated on w his current wife) is now happily married to his ex best friend. Idk just pisses me off when ppl like that cry about mental health meanwhile he doesn’t sound like he gives a shit about anyone around him.

[@ComaLies225]

Even before the update it was pretty obvious that he wasn’t over his ex, but he was deluded in thinking she owed him her time. Nope, she’s made it clear she doesn’t want anything to do with him. At least he’s gaining the self awareness of the destruction he caused. He may have done a bad thing but there’s still hope he can progress and become a better person from it

[@anthonym6119]

He cheats on his wife and is shocked she avoided him and wants everyone to feel sorry for him.

[@bambicrandi]

Story 1: I feel bad for everything he put everyone through because he will have to accept that in therapy. But I feel bad for him the most because he didn’t realize he had screwed up because of what screwed him up as a kid. If he was SAed when young, it can manifest as bad habits in your future relationships if you don’t get it emotionally dealt with. It seems he is trying to get better so I hope he does.

[@NopeScope14]

I'm getting major whiplash from this one my guy - Ooof. OP needs to divorce the new wife and just focus on getting his shit together.

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

Story 1: Eh....if his "best friend" was really arounds because he loved the wife...he's no prize. The first wife has terrible taste in men.

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

She didn't cheat on OP and behaved like an idiot

[@chucku00]

Story 1 : If "phuck around and find out", "me me me", "no self-awareness" and "tiniest violin" was a person. He really needed a reality check.

[@lisawhereisthecultjam]

That guy needs to get off those meds that are “dulling “ some parts of his brain. He needs to get the new wife and her brood out of his house and then try and start over.

[@rudra2659]

OP was obviously a shit person for what he did and cheating on his wife but it kinda rubbed me the wrong way about the friend always being in love with his ex. It doesn't sound like he cheated with the ex (which still makes him better than OP) but the whole convincing the ex to move to his city makes me feel he only stayed friends with the guy because he was into his ex wife. But ex is happy now so defo a win for her which is good karma 😁

[@MatildeVallespinCasas]

When he divorced her they owed him no explanation what they did with their lives

[@ddavis8988]

Story 1: What is going on in this story? This is all a big cluster fuck.

[@hypocrite4318]

btw you WILL feel like poo in the first few months of therapy if you're doing it right its hard and uncomfortable. that's how u grow (even tho it sucks)

[@pearbear6418]

I like the part where he runs away, leaving his pregnant wife with the kids, and throws a hissy fit because she didn't inform him about information that was easily accessible on the internet.

[@damien678]

I honestly hope therapy continues to help OP.

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

Story 1: it’s great to see someone actually listen when people are telling them to get therapy. Sounds like it’s working.

[@Tammohawk1]

What a mess this guy has made of his life. Women, always trust your gut. This woman wants OP's husband and he's clueless.

[@chunglu]

"we were so happy until the day she left" LMFAO

[@Draggonny]

Yep. People don't leave happy marriages. If you don't see it coming you probably aren't paying attention.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

If they were so happy, then why did he cheat? 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@SamasBananas1]

Story 1: Ya know, as shit as OP was and probably still is, I'm glad he's taking accountability for his actions and dealing with his trauma. I hate cheaters, but I truly wish the best for this guy

[@aileencastaneda3724]

I already knew he cheated when he mentioned “waitress”.

[@amilikestea433]

I heard story one on TikTok so I'm wondering if OP reposted or edited it. The only difference is that on the TikTok version OP admitted to cheating in the beginning. But he still acted butt hurt and clueless about why no one told him about his ex wife and ex best friend being together. OP even still used the line "We were so happy until she divorced me"

[@maurer3d]

Story 2: This could go either way, depending on how accurate the OP's story is. As written NTA, but I have a feeling a lot of context was missing from the story. Things like: Is Op's son friends with the neighbors kid? What is wrong with him bringing people with when he snowboards? Does OP go snowboarding with her husband? Where does your husband snowboard? (This is a big one, if he is snowboarding on private property it is a safety issue, to go alone. AKA never snowboard or ski alone, it is a quick way to get yourself ended)

[@Yinsashi7981]

Story 1: I thought it was funny that the ex just dropped the divorce bomb like that. Usually when that happens, it’s either she cheated or he cheated. Glad OP is getting the help he needs, but I do hate it when people omit important parts like him cheating on his ex. It’s like people who leave stuff out like that know they’re wrong and only want validation for their feelings and perspective xD He needs to grow up and move on. He fucked up, he knew this, and still thought he had a say in his ex marrying his best friend. The lack of common sense or humility prior to his update is concerning.

[@Regrettable-Username]

Story 1: 5:33 " _I called her stupid and said_ *_that she wouldn't understand because she doesn't have any friends._* " That kind of hurtful shit, even if it's in a fight, will create lasting damage in their relationship.

[@potatoempress5731]

Story 1 : From the age gap I already KNEW that OP cheated on his ex-wife. The fact that he's so hurt about her marriage seals the deal for me. What a narc.

[@erinmccreery9781]

I think Snowboarding Dad is looking at this the wrong way. It might be awkward to ghost your neighbor but it's even more awkward for your wife to divorce you and make your child feel like you don't love them. Possibly ruin your relationship whit both. Now that's long term awkward.