Family's Accusing Me Of Being Ableist For Banning Child Family Member From My House r/Relationships

[@yas-per]

Story 1: OP isn’t ableist, her cousin is. Feeling guilty for a child’s disability and treating them differently (aside from necessary accommodations) is pretty damn ableist (I’m autistic+other shit)

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

For real, it also sets the kid up for failure because they never learn how to respect other people and their property, and ruins any chance of them improving unless they decide that for themselves as an adult.

[@justine8387]

The "imperfect" comment killed me. Ableist crap.

[@HackiePuffs]

Sounds like a projector playing 📽

[@MrJpaynebb]

Dad settled so fast because he's also dealing with another legal issue involving his daughter hurting another kid. That cousin/mom better clue in quick because right now she's still a minor but in a few years her daughter will be subject to the juvenile/criminal system if she keeps up this destructive behavior.

[@cl5470]

Thank you! My son is non-verbal, and I hate when people treat him like he doesn't understand things. He doesn't reply, but he understands English just fine and can follow instructions like anyone else. I just had an argument with his grandmother because she thinks it's okay if he tries to hit her. Um no. He doesn't pull that crap at home or at school because he 100% knows better!

[@bettysaleh468]

I have a grandchild that has autism. This child does NOT get away with tantrums. It has taken hours and hours of therapy, working with emotions, needs, but a more behaved child, full of love, you’ve never met. Having a disability is not an excuse for bad parenting.

[@khaleesireyna731]

Agreed. I and several of my younger family members are neurodivergent in some way. I didn't get diagnosed until I was an adult, but the younger ones are kids and diagnosed. They may have issues with various little things and have to be disciplined but knowing that I have a similar issue to them has actually made a lot of things make a lot of sense to where I understand they're not doing it on purpose and there are better ways to work with them on it. Like one of the kids kept bouncing around on my couch and was told several times to stop, but then I realized he might not be doing it on purpose and I gave him one of the fidget toys I keep at my desk. Kid sat totally still after that while playing with the toy. It can be difficult to navigate for a kid and frustrating for an adult, but once you understand it makes a lot of things easier. That said, Mary isn't the way she is because of her disability (hell it sounds like a physical disability, not cognitive), so they're definitely just enabling bad behavior.

[@bettysaleh468]

@@khaleesireyna731 you are so correct. It’s a huge learning curve for parents/caregivers. Jumping on the couch, for example, took months of patience, removing the kid from the couch, using both sign language and verbal cues once you were able to get attention. It’s tough, constant patience. Good news is, my non-verbal grandchild is beginning to say words now, and knows they actually mean something. Huge breakthrough. Just have to keep working with them, loving them, and providing a safe, comfortable place so they can grow.

[@crazycat58]

Indeed. I have a cousin with down syndrome and she's the sweetest girl because her parents utilized resources for help and parented properly. This mother (and to a lesser extent by inaction, the father) is setting her child up for a hard life.

[@heatherdickau5335]

After listening to so many stories about out of control autistic children I have wondered if there are coping methods children can be taught? It sounds like your grands are on the right track.

[@jettaspop]

It sucks because people like the OP's cousin who claim ableism over everything make it harder for people who actually face discrimination. Ableism is a very real thing but because of stuff like this it's viewed as a buzz word people just throw around.

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Story 1: I'm sure Hurricane Marry has a shiny pair of matching metal bracelets in her future if her parents continue to refuse to parent their child just because she has a condition.

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

I don't see just bracelets for Mary. If she's throwing a tantrum in a store or decides to hurt someone else with her parents there, doing nothing to prevent her, the parents will be charged for medical bills and destruction of property. Especially if someone is filming this happening. Judges will be charging the parents and maybe have Mary put in a mental institution of some kind. The way they're acting is disgusting and the fact that the cousin isn't doing anything about it is stupid.

[@Mitsubachi2529]

Good thing "Mary" doesn't exist 😉. Sorry, story 1 just does not ring true to me.

[@Kyubinooni]

Eh, I've seen children like Mary. Still I probably get hate for this but Mary is a prime example of needing a good spanking. Hell any type of discipline would work. Sadly, parents like this are a prime example of bad parenting.

[@HobieInTheBox]

@@Mitsubachi2529 that's your opinion

[@HituraRael]

@@Mitsubachi2529 I can guarantee you it happens. I worked in an MRDD home, we had a resident who his parents allowed to get away with EVERYTHING to the point he would physically assault other residents and she was OFFENDED we dare stop him or block him from going where he wants even if it means he gets to the people he fixated on targeting. My cousins best friend lets her child RUN PEOPLE OVER with her wheel chair cuz the child has MS.

[@MisterNightfish]

Cousin: You are dead to me, we will never meet again Me, after reading the story: What a beautiful gift to give to OP

[@rustyshackleford1697]

"Don't threaten me with a good time." Haha

[@BruinPhD2009]

@@rustyshackleford1697 Right? 🤣

[@khaleesireyna731]

My thoughts exactly. I even had a moment where I was like "BRB, planning my funeral party... it's gonna be a rager... and there will be unlicked cake."

[@carolrondou6161]

What a great gift NTA. Cousin is the TA. Parents aren't helping that kid. Sometime she's going to go after the wrong person and will get a beat down. Can you sue?

[@paulastiles5507]

As they say, sometimes the trash takes itself out.

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 2 - OP’s mom, sister, SIL, and all of SIL’s family are out of their goddamn heads. Into the trash with all of them.

[@khaleesireyna731]

I was feeling a migraine coming on just listening to that. OP has the patience of a Saint because I would've been like "You're wedding is important to you, but I've got med school exams that are WAY more important to me. Either use your damn words and tell me the EXACT color of the dress or I'm out" and when they inevitably throw a conniption fit, block 'em and follow through. Life is too short and I've got too much to do in my personal life to deal with overgrown middle schoolers playing games, family or not.

[@amandasunshine2]

@@khaleesireyna731 I was thinking the same thing until I heard how OP handled them, I think that was actually revenge, and I approve. I do wish OP told her brother everything that happened. If he continues to dismiss the literal abuse this woman has done to him and his family as "petty ladies drama", then he literally deserves everything he gets from this woman until he understands how sexist he's being. I mean, a big strong man can put up with a little petty ladies drama, right?

[@brigidtheirish]

The brother who got married sounds like he belongs in the trash with them.

[@khaleesireyna731]

@@amandasunshine2 oh yeah, agreed. When I posted my original comment I hadn't even gotten to OPs plan with thr dress and honestly that was THE WAY TO GO! They wanna play stupid games, OPs overpreparedness is their very stupid prize. But the last update left me feeling queasy. The way she just casually mentions purposely sabatoging her BC. Like if that was a man doing that, he'd be getting (rightfully) roasted, but she does it and thinks it's cute! Hell no! The sad part is, the off-hand comments about OPs mother makes me think they're all kinda used to that kind of mistreatment. Like to the point where they just kind of dismiss that behavior as "how that person is" and it sounds like the brother picked a spouse who behaves the exact same way. Smh.

[@paulinadeboer3604]

I bet bride's family is rich. Those people sold their soul for money.

[@noxiouschocolate9644]

so she's already in hot water because her daughters actions have caused serious harm to other children, but disciplining her child is a ableist apparently. :/

[@alenasenie6928]

I wonder what happened there, it seems the father wanted to avoid court, it could be because that is public and could be used by the other parents in a lawsuit, that is not usually the response to a few kids fights, the fact they want repercussions that can cause real stress to the parent means a lawsuit can be there waiting to happen. I know how much some kids get away with, so, there is no way is something minor

[@spacetofu5306]

​@@alenasenie6928 from the way OP described it, what Mary did to other kid was *severe* that deeply concerns me because Mary absolutely has no chance in life now

[@onnas5610]

@@spacetofu5306 exactly, especially as she gets older the consequences will get more serious. We're talking about legal consequences, social consequences or worse someone bigger/stronger fights back and beats her a**. 😬

[@spacetofu5306]

@@onnas5610 not even stronger or bigger!! It takes one pissed off person and the rage and motivation to fight back!

[@rebeccaabram2312]

@@alenasenie6928 This is how I viewed it too, if the other parents found out Mary caused a few thousand pounds in damages to a family member's property they can use that as evidence that what happened to their child wasn't "A One time thing" or an accident. Mary has a consistent habit of this behavior, even if the case didn't go OPs way there would STILL be a record of the case and OP could be called as a witness. Husband wanted that possibility to be reduced to zero hence quietly paying off OP

[@MariaEduarda-ng1th]

Cousin literally called her disabled kid "imperfect" but thinks op is ableist one, right This will end up really bad for cousin, sooner or later her daughter will mess with the wrong people and get a deep punishiment for good, cousin con't protect her daugther and her actions forever

[@paden1865able]

I heard the comment about the child not being perfect and thought, "None of us is perfect, we all have flaws, be them physical or mental. We have to learn to live and cope with them."

[@neoncrossGRIMEAGLE]

Or dead.

[@khaleesireyna731]

I feel like that didn't get enough attention. Like this lady really wants to accuse others of being ableist when she says and thinks ish like that of her kid??? Maybe she was so vindictive to OP because she's projecting and when OP did what she's probably always wanted to do but wouldn't because of her own ablism, she flipped. Makes sense but the cousin is the worst kind of person imho: the kind of person who can never take responsibility for their actions.

[@brigidtheirish]

Yeah. That stood out to me. Good grief, the kid has a *physical* abnormality, not a behavioral disability. Oh, one half of her body's bigger than the other? My dad was born *without hip sockets.* He and Mom joke that God gave him that disability to keep him humble because he'd be absolutely *insufferable* if he was brilliant *and* able-bodied. His parents also taught him to be *polite* and *restrain himself.* He struggles a bit with those thanks to Asperger's and ADD-inattentive going undiagnosed until he was pushing 60, but he *makes the effort.*

[@natsukifan8736]

In the second update the cousin's husband has told op that the kid has brutally harmed another child and said child parents are going for the yugular

[@SatinFoxx]

Story 1 update: "they are in another lawsuit for hurting another child" this changes everything about "proving that the kid wouldn't normally destroy things, and the parents had no reason to think otherwise"

[@samssams666]

Just because a child is disabled it does not mean they cannot face the consequences of their actions.

[@joeschmo622]

Yeh. This lady who used to live down the block could only hobble around with a cane (one of those adjustable metal ones!), but she certainly had the strength to whack someone in the head hard enough to draw blood, and she was, albeit gently, taken to the local clink on charges.

[@dionysus_adores]

This, that kid never was taught no

[@rogueshark23]

I wonder if OPs mom and aunt know about Mary attacking another kid.

[@WobblesandBean]

Say it louder for the people in the back! Seriously, I hate Tumblrinas who arrogantly claim to speak for autistic people and other divergent individuals and know what's best for them, even if it means speaking _over_ such individuals instead. "Shhh, you poor thing, you don't know what you're talking about. You don't understand what you're doing, you're a simple creature who can't tell right from wrong, I'LL be your advocate and protect you from yourself and anyone else who doesn't understand that it's not your fault you can't control your actions."

[@dt5310]

Those parents are going to have bigger problems if they don’t correct her behavior, I feel sorry for that little girl, she doesn’t know any better

[@sparklemotion8377]

You would think hurricane Mary hurting a child would be a wake up call for the enabling family.

[@groofromtheup5719]

nah, not even when it has been multiple kids and now a parent if going "for the jugular"

[@paulastiles5507]

You would think, but a lot of people get caught up in Sunk Cost Fallacy. As long as the cousin enables Mary, she doesn't have to deal with her own messy, ableist feelings of guilt and shame.

[@Azulakayes]

Story 2: Why is the brother still in this toxic marriage? Anyway, because he didn't listen, he will pay his price in misery.

[@janda1258]

I think he got babytrapped during the honeymoon. That's when the wife "forgot to take her pill", week of silence, then boom! Positive pregnancy test and they are back together and "happy" again

[@IndstrlMtlHd]

@@janda1258 I think the reason he left early during the honeymoon was to allow her to find a "sperm donor" as a means of compromise about having kids.

[@NinaHenderson91]

@@janda1258 my theory is similar to yours. I think she told him she was pregnant during the honeymoon. He left out of anger because they probably agreed no children. Then he realized he couldn’t just abandon her with his child, so he decided to reconcile.

[@devegas4910]

@@NinaHenderson91 he should've left a lot sooner once he found out some of the drama going on at the wedding reception.

[@salomerodriguez5145]

The way he's so quick to blame his siblings and the catering while having homophobic friends and marry another homophobe makes me have zero pity with him. He deserves her. Let's just hope the child is healthy abd gwt treated well.

[@reallyisay]

Sue them, call CPS.the child only does what she's allowed..

[@immapotato1]

considering the kid has injured enough kids for them to be in legal trouble I'm surprised they still have her.

[@khaleesireyna731]

I'm here for the parents of the kid she attacked that are "going for the jugular". They'll get ripped to shreds. Cousin probably won't learn anything and will probably just play victim like "Oh the world is so ableist and cruel to my baby", BUT she won't be able to terrorize other kids or go destroy other people's property, so that's a win there.

[@Rose-yt5hi]

@@khaleesireyna731 Yup. I hope they deliver a hard and expensive lesson to OP’s cousin.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@khaleesireyna731 You know how they say there's someone they encounter who will deliver them a much-needed beatdown? I've been that someone. Sadly, in my experience, they don't learn much from it -- but they did always stay away from me from then on.

[@Sarah-by6gp]

Which is everything apparently

[@villageidiot7584]

Story 2: honestly I think OP not only should tell everything to her brother but is OBLIGATED to do so. It's absolutely insane to me that everyone's happy to let this man be married to such a toxic woman and that "accidental" pregnancy is so alarming.

[@iconodule3938]

Didn’t she try to explain every tbh I guess to him, but he took the bride’s side?

[@FearMyLadyBits]

@@iconodule3938 I agree, when the dress fiasco was happening brother really did say, "I don't want to hear about your women drama, figure it out." If I was OP I'd wash my hands of it, because it's evident brother won't believe ill of the bride, and won't want to hear how awful she and her family is when she ended up pregnant. I just hope when SIL "accidentally" gets pregnant the second time, that brother gets his head out of his a$$ and files for divorce.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 I hate passive aggressive people like SIL. If you don't want people in your wedding, just be up front. I'm so glad OP had receipts. I'd tell my brother everything. SIL needs to be exposed.

[@Taizu314]

That Ops family (except for the younger Brother) sounds terrible. She her little bro would be better off without their Mom in their lives. She sounds like a piece of work.

[@judev3197]

Christ that was exhausting to hear, imagine living it. 🤦‍♀️

[@Undomaranel]

I wouldn't call that behavior passive aggressive. I'd call it manipulative, vindictive, and cruel. There was nothing passive about actively "forgetting" and setting up the wrong color, or the 2005 slurs. That and there's nothing passive aggressive about "forgetting a pill here and there" to baby trap a man she claimed to love.

[@veezopolis]

The brother himself doesn't care. He said it's petty women stuff, so he's already a douche

[@judev3197]

@@Undomaranel it is manipulative, vindictive & cruel but it’s also classic passive aggressive. The fiancé couldn’t just outright say ‘you can’t sit with us!’ because that would out her as the mean girl. Instead she tried to get OP & her brother to go away thus leaving her hands clean & solving her problem.

[@owl6637]

In story 1 the mom is pretty ableist, not the OP. Feeling guilty for a disability that's no one's fault and letting the child misbehave and break things is not how you raise a disabled child (I'm autistic and have experience dealing with disabled children)

[@paden1865able]

Our son is non-verbal Autistic and isn't a destructive person, but then again, we worked with him to understand that that wasn't acceptable.

[@paulastiles5507]

@@paden1865able The best gift you can give autistic kids is teaching them reasonable boundaries. So much easier and safer to navigate human society.

[@flowerjpotter1629]

I would put it differently. The mother is an enablist of terrible behaviour.

[@paden1865able]

@@paulastiles5507 Well, I'm not exactly neurotypical myself but with a lot of effort can get by in their world. My parents put a ton of work into teaching me what I needed to learn, especially when boundaries are involved, although I still have trouble not walking away from conversations that bore me silly. I tend to zone out and pop off with non sequiturs quite a bit. 😄

[@OriginalAsherella]

Dude this wedding story is manipulation on the level of the story with the girl who didn’t want her family to find out her husband was a former addict so basically isolated her lifetime best friend and lied hard to everyone. That one was nuts.

[@bbjjbb61]

Right? Except this one is almost worse (unless I'm forgetting something) because of the "forgetting a pill" to get what one wants and intentionally getting pregnant when you've been told your partner doesn't want kids. The brother is a complete moron who isn't paying attention to wtf is going on right under his nose and he's in for years of isolation and manipulation from this psycho and OP's mom too apparently.

[@audreym3908]

@@bbjjbb61 I really hope that OP can let her brother know what their sister said.

[@amandasunshine2]

@@bbjjbb61 yeah lies to manipulate to keep someone away, fucked up. Sexual coercion, literally a crime.

[@jestersreign7530]

Sorry but this story is not on the same levels that one. This one is worse because the bride literally feels no guilt. She also got multiple people involved to knowingly try to kick out the gay brother. This wasn't one big misunderstanding that was kept together based on one lie connected to another. This was multiple people knowing exactly what she was trying to do and trying to help her achieve that goal. This is worse then the addict story. I truly believe that the brothers wife is a sociopath.

[@nightbest2308]

I blame any heart ache OP married brother experiencing at OP and her other brother’s feet. They did not look out for their brother and were either busy trying to get one over on the then fiancé or keeping their mouth shut to keep the peace.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "No one gets to dictate how my child behaves" She's gonna get herself arrested one day with her destructive and entitled behavior and her parents are gonna have a hell of a time getting laughed at by both police and the judge when they try to accuse them of ableism and discrimination because they're _gasp_ making her face _✨️consequences✨️_

[@ericbsmith42]

Cousin: You will never see us again! Me: Wrong, I'll be seeing you in court.

[@helar2574]

Story 2: At this point (after last update) big brother deserves all shit, pain and suffering he got or would get. Kinda karma for idiot doormats

[@tallyp.7643]

I admit, I feel kinda bad for him because he's surrounded himself with manipulative selfish people, but he never once came up for air and tried to figure out what was going on, either. Never bothered to ask til the wedding weekend what was up with his younger siblings or make time for them and let himself be led around. Seriously, never thought to ask anything for himself? Sheesh--it's his family, he should've asked. But some folks are content to let others think for 'em til they go over a cliff, I guess.

[@bbjjbb61]

Right!?? I think he's in for a lifetime of being led around by the nose and isolated from anyone who doesn't fall in line. OP and little bro should've just told him what was going on and stepped back. I feel like everyone deserves to hear the truth at least once and what they decide to do with it is up to them. I kind of think OP and little bro are just used to being shit on and have lost their voices at this point. The mom is an awful person and they say men often "marry their mother" so maybe that's why he's just blindly going along with what he's being told. Now he's well and truly tied to this beast.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

@@tallyp.7643 That’s precisely why he doesn’t deserve any sympathy. People are telling him and he’s making excuses.

[@rustyshackleford1697]

Having a disability doesn't just give you a free pass to destroy everything. They even are fully aware of this behavior and do little to nothing to correct the behavior.

[@MegaMegaman87]

exactly

[@maddy8328]

agreed

[@brothersgt.grauwolff6716]

I'm high functioning mildly autistic with other learning disabilities and I wasn't allowed to get away with misbehaving I was treated firmly but fairly no special treatment other than accommodations for my disability and today I'm a well adjusted individual so Mary has no excuse for her actions

[@trashotaku]

Even more so when a disability doesn’t have any impact on their mental capacity

[@trashotaku]

@@brothersgt.grauwolff6716I also have high-functioning autism as well as having anxiety and that’s also how I was raised

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

I guarantee you that isn't the first house or place that Mary has been banned from and her parent's way of handling this is absolutely disgusting. Poor Mary, they are setting her up for complete and utter failure as she becomes an adult.

[@ailinfergan]

1st story: I'd send the replacement costs of the destroyed items, with a note stating that if you do not replace the items, then I will sue. Banning the child is the least I'd do.

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

I'd send invoice with a visit from CPS.

[@LilySaintSin]

@@goawayleavemealone2880 absolutely!

[@katrinschirmer8018]

yup, small claims court would be happening after the refusal to pay.

[@justinecorrington4106]

Story 1: the cousin isn’t protecting her child; but her parenting. She knows she failed as a parent and doesn’t want to accept she made a monster. Her poor daughter is on a path to jail. Edit: the update. Well yep. Stand by what i said. And her aunt is hilarious; op is the entitled brat?!

[@MegaMegaman87]

the Aunt can go kick rocks really

[@spacetofu5306]

the denial is impressive 🤣

[@memeking7273]

I think the aunt confused OP with Hurricane Mari

[@kasa9884]

Right?! The aunt is wild for that because she raised a daughter (the mom) who think she doesn't have to guide and discipline her own daughter and isn't somehow responsible for destruction of private property. The aunt is as sh!tty of a mom as the cousin (her daughter). I guess the cousin learned that from her mother.

[@singingwordwright148]

Story 2: Honestly, that bride's family is setting up major abuse red flags all around. The threat of "If you want to stay in good with this family" and lying to the groom and oh, gee, the people chosen to be excluded just happen to be all on the groom's side. Almost like they're trying to isolate him from his family and supplant his support system. Run, brother, run.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Coming to someone's house is not a right, it's a privilege. You can't be wrong for not wanting someone to come to your house. Kids can be disabled/special needs AND spoiled. It's not mutually exclusive. 🤮🤮 She licked the icing OFF the cake. I would ban them all. The parents are to blame for enabling Mary. NTA.

[@dminasweater4868]

I think You got privilege and rights mixed there lol

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@dminasweater4868 OH yeah! Thanks fixed it.

[@ginathecookie]

Once more, I agree with you 😁😅

[@Tyanna01]

Story 1: I have a feeling OP's husband didn't want this to go to court. I imagine that the lawyer of the family who's child Mary attacked would LOVE another data point of her violence. I'd bet money that is why Mary's father asked for mediation. At this point, it's not about the money, but protecting Mary. By paying OP back without this being made public record, he's protecting Mary from getting in more trouble from the attack. One day, OP's cousin will be hurt by Mary. I wonder what will happen then. Will her cousin still stand by her 'disabled' child, or will she wonder where she went wrong and wash her hands of the monster she created?

[@spacetofu5306]

thats most likely the real reason why he settled so quickly. because he was going down no matter what. even if OP would've lost, it won't mean that her court case won't go to waste. the family lawyer would have noticed it and sent it to the family and hoo boy, the lawsuit against Mary would even more ironclad. *hell he might even be scared of the family reaching out to OP to ask for direct sources of how dangerous his daughter is*

[@ginathecookie]

@@spacetofu5306 This is exactly what I thought

[@Gumbier_Than]

I feel for the father. He might believe that his daughter needs a lot of support and mommy opposes in the name of *disability. 🙄

[@spacetofu5306]

@@ginathecookie same. Dad is both a coward and a pitiful man imo, the best way to get Mary in line is to send her to military school at this rate

[@jmarie9997]

Story 2: *I* want to bash my head against a wall just listening to this story. I would have quit the wedding long before.

[@yobabycolin2933]

Same.

[@Bleg94]

thats exactly what the bride wants, I would be especially petty at that point and if the brother gets angry at me I would tell him to get lost since this is a problem his bride intentionally caused to isolate him from his family, just to hopefully plant a seed that will destroy their marriage and save the brother from that manipulative pos^^

[@nightmarefanatic1819]

Quitting the wedding was what the bride wanted. Staying in it was the best form of petty revenge.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 1 A lot of times just getting a lawyer involved is enough. People are scared of lawyers. And OMG they need to get Mary intervention immediately!! She's too young to already be having lawsuits against her and very badly injuring children. The parents are doing her a TERRIBLE disservice.

[@rumooooni]

Seriously the mother is the worst thing for that child enabling the tantrums and giving zero punishment for not only destroying someones property but attacking other children..... yep that kid is doomed will probably be in jail or juvenile sooner or later

[@tallyp.7643]

I suspect one more outburst or lawsuit and cousin's husband is gonna consult a divorce attorney on the quiet, pack a bag, and move the hell out and abandon the two while giving her a lump sum child support payment and giving away all parental rights. A child like that destroys marriages, if she hasn't already and they're just trying to have some kind of stability... but mom's gonna enable her crappy behavior til she ends up beaten to a pulp or in jail... and even then, she'll be one of those "my angel can do no wrong' parents I despise so much. She's doing no one any favors and will end up losing her kid to CPS and/or losing her home because of all the money she'll have to pay in legal bills. I'd love to see her enabling family's reaction to THAT mess. You can bet NONE of them will take her in.

[@spacetofu5306]

Depending on how bad her behavior is and her history of severely injuring children , CPS would most likely get involved and take her away so she won't be a danger to others

[@MusicGirl881]

Story 2: OP and her little brother really need to tell the older brother what really happened between the best friend and the SIL cause he is in a toxic situation and I have a feeling that someone or the SIL herself did something so that she would get pregnant giving a reason that the older brother can’t leave her.

[@patriciahutton4313]

So she literally trapped him by getting pregnant. I'd suggest a DNA test to be sure it's his, and to serve as backup when they divorce (I predict) if he wants (and should have) full custody because you know she won't do a good job. Yikes! What a situation.

[@brigidtheirish]

Give what a piece of crap he's been (like mother, like son, I guess), I'd stay quiet and call it karma. I'd also go no contact with him, the mom, and the sister. Probably the dad, too. The whole lot except OP and her gay brother aren't worth the effort.

[@cattyanamontes5996]

My child has various specials needs and disabilities. I am always on high alert when we’re out. You can’t just let them do whatever and let them get away with everything.

[@Gumbier_Than]

Dig that. My child knows that I love him and get all the support we can for him. However, destroying things, throwing hands at people, screaming, and the like are NOT tolerated. 👎🏾

[@amandaarcher7919]

Brother walked into that crazy eyes wide open. No one trapped and he deserves what's coming his way

[@itsjustmaddisen]

And that it’s a “lady issue.” Dude doesn’t know what words mean.

[@malayshamorgan3918]

Story 1: That child is gonna end up hurting someone REALLY badly one day

[@swedishmeatball4382]

Sounds like she already did, unfortunately.

[@swiftninja91]

Story 1 - NTA. The parents of the child are not helping by appeasing the child and excusing their bad behaviour. This will not bode well if the bad behaviour escalates.

[@immasnakeee6460]

The second family is so beyond awful. I feel awful for Op and her brother. They both need to cut all of them off, the married brother too.

[@tristank8076]

Last story. Bro and sister should have told their brother what happened to prevent him from marrying the pos

[@nkes50]

Seriously! I never understood why people keep their mouths shut to "keep the peace" or let themselves be disrespected in any manner. Once the brother said lady BS I would've stopped him right there and said absolutely not! WTF is the dress color?!

[@paulastiles5507]

OP did try when she was asking him about the color of the dress and he shut her down.

[@MovableNu]

I doubt he would have listened. He’s too willing to blame others for all the drama rising from his now-wife’s orbit. He’s willfully refusing to believe that if the smell of crap follows someone everywhere, the crap is on them 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@tristank8076]

@@paulastiles5507 I may have misunderstood that part

[@tristank8076]

@@MovableNu fair enough

[@0INFERNO1]

Story 2, OP is way more petty than I am. I would have told them that i have no problem not being in the wedding as I don't need the stress and irritation of dealing with stupid people. I also would have made it clear to everyone who asked why I wasn't in the wedding. I am petty enough to burn bridges while standing on them.

[@Bleg94]

OP wasn't petty enough, thats the problem, if she was more petty she could've saved the brother from A LOT of headache also that friend of the brother (or bride) lost his right to come out at his own terms after he took revenge on OPs younger brother when he denied that person, imo if you want to come out on your own terms don't give other people a reason to out you to defend themself

[@thefallennero5265]

Story 1: Since OP's lawyer said it would be difficult to prove the cousin's daughter did damage to OP's property, wouldn't they be able to use what the cousin's husband said about the daughter attacking another child as proof of the daughter being dangerous?

[@toysruskid5074]

How is "it's what you deserve for denying her ice cream " in the text messages not proof?

[@scorpiocarnage1055]

@@toysruskid5074 When it comes to legal stuff, you want as mich proof as possible. A lawyer for the other party will try to make excuses. Law is more a game than an actual stand for justice.

[@FearMyLadyBits]

Yeah, the lawyer didn't know there was documented history of violence with Mary, so told them what the chances were with just what happened with them. But if they can subpoena her school records, or if OP testifies for Mary's victims, then Cousin and her husband are in BIG trouble financially and could even have Mary taken on grounds of neglect or "contributing to the delinquency of a minor" (basically, letting their child be violent towards others, commit vandalism, etc, without any kind of intervention).

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 1 small claims court! Use that text as proof. She deserves to pay for this 💩

[@jimdob6528]

Story 1 if the child wants to act like a destructive wild animal then she can be treated as such. Such terrible parents

[@astronautviolet153]

story 1 NTA Op don't feel guilty about putting down boundaries and a disability isn't an excuse to be a spoiled brat and violent person.

[@billybobjenkins3031]

It's not even a heavy disability as far as I know, just a physical so the parents have really let their daughter down by not raising her right

[@copercurlz]

S1: I feel so bad for Mary. Those parents are doing so much damage to her. I understand wanting to help your child because of a disability, but she still needs to face consequences for her actions or she's going to be a monster. My heart hurts for that little girl. She's got no other choice but to grow into Hurricane Mary. S2: I feel so bad for the brother. OP should have told him what was happening. What kind of sister is OP's older sister to make a comment like that about basically forcing someone to have a child? This marriage is bound to crash and burn and it will be the bride's own fault. I hope he can get out sooner rather than later. OP should tell him everyone. She's a walking red flag and he deserves to know it.

[@tallyp.7643]

S2: OP should chat with a law student and learn about annulments and other possible divorce actions in her brother's state, then set the clock. Have the info ready when brother's ready to confide that he made a mistake and hand it all over. Damn. The pregnancy probably nuked his life. He's surrounded by selfish, manipulative people and can't even see it yet.

[@copercurlz]

@@tallyp.7643 You're very right about that. I hope the best for OP's brother.

[@Fairygoblet]

I can't help but feel that part of Mary's behavior stands from being spoiled, and part of it stems from medical trauma from undergoing so many procedures at such a young age. that's a real issue for disabled kids. it sucks because it's necessary, but it can also exchange physical damage for psychological damage.

[@swedishmeatball4382]

@@tallyp.7643 If there really is a baby on the way. This bride is so manipulative that I could see her fake a positive pregnancy test to "keep" the brither, and then a convenient miscarriage when he is out of town, so that she will have to be pampered etc to get over her "loss". In this case I am actually hoping that she is faking as she would probably just use a baby to get whatever leverage she wants.

[@enjolireyes643]

I can’t wait to see a Reddit story in 11 years when OPs cousins brat begins to destroy their home!

[@dm9078]

NTA If OP ever sees this cousin again that is a win. OP should see the cousin one last time in small claims court when she sued her. Edit English law must be very different than US. Just because it’s a child’s tantrum doesn’t mean the parents aren’t responsible for damage they cause!! Story2 screw the big brother. He lets his friends call his little brother homophobic slurs. Every ounce of pain he is feeling deserves. But what I don’t understand is why Opie is so intent on protecting the sit asses.

[@crayolaclouds2696]

I had a cousin that was destructive and violent towards us female cousins. At 17, he was still wetting the bed and after his loser stepmother and loser father evicted him, they found animal bones and blood pentagrams in his closet. You either raise a child or raise a future serial killer. I have no contact with that evil dude and I haven't seen him in over 10 years. Hurricane Mary will probably go down the same route and it's mostly her parents fault, but she'll be responsible for her own actions at one point.

[@natsukifan8736]

She's already on the brutally harming other kids. In update 2 op is told by the father that they're getting sued by a family whose child hurricane Mary has harmed and they're going for the yugular

[@smellyolegoat150]

In reference to story 1, it breaks my heart. Yes, OP was wronged by Hurricane Mary, and definitely deserved to be compensated for the damages that category 5 did in her home. However, what is heartbreaking is the incredible damage Mary’s mother is doing to her. I spent 15 years working with individuals with developmental disabilities. The progress they can make if they have expectations to meet is unbelievable. The greatest damages I saw with the countless individuals I came across in those 15 years, was parents coddling the individuals. Wether this was done out of guilt, soft heartedness, simple ignorance, an overwhelming desire to help, expedience, laziness, or a complete lack of care. The outcome was always the same. Individuals who were held back from achieving there potential, or at the very least seriously delayed from achieving their potential. This is OP’s cousin’s real failure. It’s not some ridiculous theory about what she could have done differently during her pregnancy. The failure is not having expectations and consequences for her child. The result of which will destroy her child’s entire life. The cousin needs to wake up. At 7, it’s not to late, but it may soon be.

[@paulastiles5507]

I agree with this. Mary didn't make herself this way. Her mother (and, to a lesser extent, her father) turned her into a Veruca Salt so Mommy Dearest wouldn't have to face her own guilt and shame. There are parents of disabled children who do this to them so as to get bennies from playing the martyr parent, while allowing their children to get blamed for the consequences of their own bad parenting.

[@damien678]

Story 1: It's ableist of the cousin to set her daughter up for complete failure in the future. Her venomous text to OP was genuinely unhinged, too. ADHD & Autism make my emotions feel a lot bigger, but a broken tv is a completely disproportionate response to what happened. Those of us with 'bigger' emotions should express ourselves, but in HEALTHY ways. This is the furthest thing from that... it also sounds like cousin has emotional regulation issues, too.

[@honeydroptheunicorn6557]

Story 1: the girl learned she can do no wrong & knows she won't be punish.

[@bluebeanie561]

Story 1: The cousin is just using "discriminatory" to not to pay for the damages and no doubt this isn't the first time. Edit after the update: This opinion sadly became fact.

[@spacetofu5306]

Unfortunately and it seems like that excuse is not going to be as strong when a literal lawsuit is going on that the father settled so quickly because he didn't want to deal with another legal issue

[@bellasmom2597]

Wow the parents didn't even offer to pay for the damages. So the cousin is just completely toxic. No wonder her child is so violent and destructive. The people accusing OP of ablism can pay for the damages as they see no problem with the actions that damaged them.

[@saldiven2009]

Man, this whole family sucks. Oldest brother either allows his family to be treated like crap or manages to remain oblivious. Younger siblings let oldest brother associate with crappy people without even attempting to discuss the problems. I predict none of them will be speaking to each other very often ten years from now.

[@gregjayonnaise8314]

S1: I swear, so many families with disabled kids either fall into one extreme or the other. They either treat the disabled kid like shit, or they enable everything they do. Both of these stem from the parents just being completely clueless and not understanding how to manage a kid with disabilities. It always stems from disgust, pride or pity, it’s sickening. It’s never about the actual child with the disability, but the parent’s emotional fragility about their child’s “imperfections”.

[@avencree]

The messed up thing is Mary from the first story will blame her disability for the reason she has no friends or partners when she grows up. Her mom will have poisoned her to think that anyone who doesn’t like her or let her get away with bad behavior is ableist and a horrible person. That kid will need to have some serious introspection when she gets older to see that her mother is toxic if she wants to have ANY meaningful connections.

[@yobabycolin2933]

Yep. Thank goodness her father has realized he must start holding her accountable or at least pay damages to those Mary has harmed for pragmatic reasons.

[@spacetofu5306]

​@@yobabycolin2933 i doubt those are the reasons why the dad paid for damages, he's probably only paying the damages because he's already in hot shit with another lawsuit and if OP pursues an actual lawsuit, then he'll even in bigger trouble

[@InuDemon]

Story 1: "how dare you not let my child destroy everything in your house!"

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Story one: There's nothing discriminatory about banning a child with untreated/unmanaged behavioral or neurological problems (and, subsequently, their immediate family) out of your home. If the parents don't do their duty as such and get the child help she needs, *Mary will become a dysfunctional adult no one will want to deal with.* Story two: I remember this one. *People playing stupid mind games are the worst.*

[@amandasunshine2]

Story two: I'd say in the group chat "oh this neon orange dress is so pretty! We'll look so good up there all of us in neon orange" and wait for them to correct you. If they don't, literally show up in neon orange or whatever the ugliest color they have available.

[@samurailevi49]

First story: I would press charges against Mary’s parents for property damage.

[@JR-zi4bj]

Story 1 - I wonder if CPS would have advice for advice situations like this. It is beyond bizarre to me that for such a violent child, the parents have no interventions in place, and no concept of responsibility for enabling her behaviours.

[@impishrebel5969]

"You will never see her again." Me: "you promise?" I'm also surprised nobody's suggested that one scene from Matilda. If she licked it, she should have been made to eat it.

[@yandereskitty]

"You wanted cake. You got cake . NOW EAT IT!" Gosh I love that movie.

[@QueenEevee1994]

@@yandereskitty So do I. It’s on my list of “Movies I’ll never get tired of watching”

[@AngharadMac]

Omg, the entire family on both sides are in on the conspiracy in that last one

[@Aroaceenby]

She should sue them for the costs of her destroyed place.

[@DarkAngel65989]

Story 2: OP should really speak to their older brother and bring along the younger brother to talk, also, I feel like wife of the older brother did something to the older one so they can have the kid,since OP say the older didn't want bio kid. Something weird is going on

[@thomasjoseph5876]

The Best man and the Bride had/have something going on. I bet the kid is his. No way the bride would want a kid with the chance of getting cancer, especially as a kid.

[@DarkAngel65989]

@@thomasjoseph5876 Agree, hopefully the older brother find out soon

[@missNekolover91]

@@thomasjoseph5876 yeah, I doubt it, that bride is a bridezilla, and what better way to make her seem oh woe is me, than for her child to get cancer

[@tallyp.7643]

The mom is giving puppet-master vibes with the little here and there catering to the bride at the expense of her other kids and probably helping misdirect her own son. I bet she's got grandbaby rabies and wants her newly married boy to give her grandkids, so she's probably done some helping to sabotage things and ensure he has a kid for her to spoil and for them to stay together. Sheesh, the youngest two are the most sensible adults in the room. I only partly feel bad for the groom because he's being manipulated all over the place, but he had to be totally oblivious first. Still, might've got his eyes opened a bit sooner if his younger sibs could've gotten a chance to chat with him, but you can bet with "wedding craziness" they were gonna launch a campaign to keep him too busy to put a halt to things or speak his mind. They're gonna be divorced in a year, I'm sure.

[@keplersdream901]

Nope, it's a typical cock and cunt relationship. OP's brother is an asshat for ALLOWING his entire family to trash his sister and little brother. Cock was thinking with his dick and Cunt will break the condoms or stop taking BC. The sister basically told OP that's what happened, assuming Cunt wasn't fucking the best man. Either way, OP needs to move on from her family, save the little brother. Cock will keep fucking the Cunt until either he gets bored and finds a new cunt or he gets overwhelmed with being Cunt's wallet.

[@pattyslater514]

What horrible people OP's brother is aligned with in the last story. It's Thanksgiving Weekend here in Canada and this year we are so ridiculously thankfully for our healthcare system as our oldest son was diagnosed with an exceptionally rare terminal lung disease and is now awaiting a double lung transplant. 🤞 His care has truly been second to none since his diagnosis last year. We will also be very thankful to get stuffed on turkey..... mmmm, delicious tuuurkeeey! 🤤🦃❤️ And an early CONGRATULATIONS to you Mark for being sooo close to 100,000 subs!!!! 🍾🥂🎉🎆

[@MovableNu]

Best of luck to your son! Hopefully the transplant will happen soon! ❤

[@brigidtheirish]

Sounds like OP's brother deserves them, honestly. Best wishes for your son!

[@pattyslater514]

Thank you so very much @@MovableNu ! He was recently "upped" on the transplant list as he is deteriorating. His lung capacity is 30%. His lungs are turning in into hardened leather. It is believed he is the youngest to ever have this disease. Not the way to go down in history, but he has happily signed up to many studies. He is one Hell of an amazingly strong 20yr old! He makes me so unbelievably proud to be his Mom!

[@pattyslater514]

Thank you@@brigidtheirish! We are very hopeful. His medical care here in our city(London, ON) and his medical care he's getting in Toronto at Toronto General Hospital(3rd Best Transplant Hospital on the planet) were his transplant will take place, have treated the entire family. It has been a hard, stressful 19 months but they ALL genuinely care about our son AND us. It has really helped.

[@brigidtheirish]

@@pattyslater514 You're welcome, and good to hear you have a good team that knows the family.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Expected behavior from a child? NO! That is unacceptable behavior and the parents should be ashamed of their daughter’s behavior! If that was my house and the parents didn’t stop it when it started, we would be having problems and I would be the one rushing the child to stop the destruction!! 🤬🤦🏼‍♀️

[@rayajayce2034]

Story 1: My daughter has developmental delays and behavior problems which I struggled to help her with for years (literally being required to attend all of nursery school, preschool, kindergarten and some of first grade with her due to her hurting other children and not following instructions), also constant care at home to prevent any infractions with our pets. Unfortunately, due to my mother's sudden death and the care of my elderly father falling to me, I needed the help of my SO's mother, my daughter's grandmother, to take her more of the time. Her behavior kept getting worse as time went on and I was attending frequent meetings at school. I knew grandma was spoiling my daughter too much and kept gently trying to curb it until I absolutely put my foot down. I went out to coffee with her and told her I thought she was a bad influence on my daughter, that she always acted out after seeing her and her behavior to other children was getting worse. She had told me in the past when I asked her to discipline her, that she just wanted my daughter to "become herself" (aka a spoiled brat, in my mind), and didn't want to prevent her from expressing herself (definitely explains her son 😬), completely forgetting the fact that decent humans don't develope social skills without encouragement. During this meeting she also told me that she never doesn't have a mark on her body from my child, because.. get this... SHE LETS HER. After that, "grandma time" became a privilege both had to earn. And slowly, my daughter's behavior improved and she now has friends. But holy F do I get mad when children are treated like immaculate beings that can I no wrong. Special needs doesn't generally mean that they need to be TREATED special, just that they require further help and instruction. If you don't treat them like a regular child at heart, you end up with monsters like in the story here.

[@clarehidalgo]

I was bullied by my dad and his mom from age 10-16 because 1) I refuse to chose between my parents when they divorced and turn on mom like Grandma pulled with her own kids who she turned against their father as children and 2) my brother trusted my opinion more than either of their opinions. They always said shit like "he can't help it" or "That's just how he is." Which seriously pissed me the hell off, they were looking down on my brother. Guess who treated him like a normal person and who didn't? Called me a liar when I said he acted erratic when he wasn't taking his mood stabilizer and grandma tried to convince him and random strangers that my mom was poisoning him. He eventually made his own observation that he did get angry way more when he didn't take his medication. They also accused my mom of turning me against them when them being terrible to me was what made me not want to see them. Then suddenly when grandma learned her nephew is autistic she completely 180ed her tune on my brother being "normal" but continued to say the "he can't help it" BS. Previously she had been blaming autism as coming from her ex-husband, our grandpa.

[@Nevermore-Nevermore]

I was a disabled child, now I’m a disabled adult. My parents would have NEVER tolerated Hurricane Mary’s behavior. I was treated as normally as possible.

[@IrisAsuras]

There are all types of disorders out there and some are pretty unmanageable, however, this one does not seem entirely unmanageable. Having a disability does not mean any behavior you want goes. I have seen parents parent children with disorders and disabilities with rules and boundaries they expected to be kept. Obviously there are some limits, perhaps in severe cases where the person has no idea about right, wrong, maybe even reality. But in those cases they need additional professional support and living arrangements I would imagine. Maybe this is ableist too.

[@Callimo]

Looks like OP's cousin realized that spoiling a child can be quite expensive in the long run...for them 👀👀👀

[@Icalasari]

First story: Can you say a lawsuit?

[@maryseflore7028]

Story 1: The father is part of the problem, too. He can see his child's behavior is unacceptable; he knows his wife is wrong in her attitude of never punishing her daughter. Yet, he tries to make things right in a roundabout way, making sure his wife never knows. This is not good for Mary, no more than her mom being ableist. Mary not only is never accountable for her behavior, but somehow everything gets put right in the end because daddy secretly picks up after her. Like Mark, it deeply saddens me. Mary doesn't have to be that way. Her condition is physical, it's not like she has ADHD or ASD, or whatnot. She's a spoiled brat, she's unhappy, which will feed her behavior, and will remain like that with her irresponsible mother in charge. In Canada, parents are responsible when their minor children mess up - strange that's not the same where OP lives. Legally speaking, under Canadian law mom and dad MUST pay when their child does that extensive damage. Edit: It just occured to me: the cousin - Mary's mom - is probably ableist because SHE does not accept her daughter's "imperfection." She probably doesn't really love her daughter, and feels disappointment with her (not to mention her own guilt as a mother). By indulging Mary thus, mom soothes her own (misplaced) guilt.

[@floraposteschild4184]

S1: oh, I'm never going to see them again? What a shame. Seriously though, parents' guilt, helplessness and indulgence is only hurting Mary. Family counselling, stat! ETA: I just heard another story on this channel which blamed the MIL for a son's violent behaviour, because she got custody at age 10. But how did OP/mother rear her son up to age 10? We may have the answer here.

[@CarlottaHall]

Mary's violent reaction is not due to her medical condition but is a learned behavior. Therefore OP is not "ablest" but is simply holding the parents responsible; dad's utterance of Mary's history of rage attacking classmates sets the precedence of the parents being aware of her violent reactions and neither warning OP of it, or preventing or mitigating damage to OPs possessions by intervening with Mary's tantrum. As for the pregnancy annou cement- depending on OPs brothers childhood cancer treatment, there is the risk of his becoming infertile from chemotherapy. So I have to ask- who's he father?

[@emmawatkins2844]

Everytime I hear something like this, I’m glad my parents were ready to drop the hammer when I misbehaved

[@mrsw2923]

Anyone who uses the insult “ableist”. Should immediately be cut from your life. This is the nastiest insult used ONLY to justify destructive behavior and unacceptable treatment of fellow humans. Throw out the trash.

[@Fairygoblet]

I'm neurodivergent and physically disabled and had extreme meltdowns for a very long time because the resources I was given to learn how to emotionally regulate were for able-bodied, neurotypical people. even with that, I never would have dreamed about acting out in public on purpose or being violent towards another kid. I simply held it in until I couldn't anymore because I had no other real coping mechanisms until I was much older. as much as I think that Mary's problem stems from being spoiled, I can't help but wonder if there is some heavily repressed rage on her part. I say repressed because she might not understand the true origin of her rage. she's 7 years old and has been through multiple surgeries, and surgeries are difficult for an adult, let alone a small child. she really ought to be speaking to a child psychologist. she's not going to magically develop the ability to regulate because people want her to when her parents are giving her no instruction on how to do that whatsoever.

[@lynettephillip2412]

People have reached a place in this world that one can't set boundaries if they are not wrong for doing so.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Story 1: I feel incredibly sorry for Mary. She's going to live a miserable life, all because her mother was a gross enabler who refused and kept refusing to parent her child. I really hope OP'S cousin gets the trashing she deserves. Story 2: Homophobia, Bridezilla behavior and baby trapping? Yeah, I don't see that marriage/relationship lasting very long. Honestly, OP and little bro should've just dropped out of the wedding and told big bro everything so he can see what he was getting himself into. I know he was foolish to get back with that dumpster fire, but still poor guy's going to be miserable for the next few years to decades of his life at least. And Mom and sister suck big time! If their goal was to do wrong by OP, big bro and little bro, well they did an awesome job of that. I recommend that OP and little bro go no contact with their mother and sister for a while, a LONG while.

[@paden1865able]

Expecting a disabled person to control themselves doesn't seem ableist to me...

[@kimlehman8179]

It’s only a matter of time before this child really hurts someone. She needs discipline just as much as any other child.

[@roboticdreamer]

Story 1: NTA. The behaviour wasn't even due to the condition, but her parents letting her act that way.

[@jacearmor5274]

Story 2: OP needs to warn her brother about his toxic new wife.

[@ComaLies225]

Story 1: before update. Good riddance the cousin took herself and her family out. OP, take her to small claims for the Tv and plates that were destroyed

[@TwiggyHetfield27]

Story 2: I remember this post. Like, how childish do you have to be to have this shitty "elaborate" plan to get OP (& the other brother) to back out. Why ask her in the first place?! "Oh I want an even number... but I don't want OP or the brother in my wedding party" THEN WHY ASK THEM AT ALL? It makes ZERO sense! After Update: OPs sister saying "there's nothing forgetting a pill here and there can't fix if you want to get your way" basically stating the bride is baby trapping the brother & OPs sister being so fucking nonchalant about it!!! I'd want nothing to do with that family minus the younger brother. The moms horrible, the sisters horrible, the dad seems like he didn't care, SIL & her family are horrible. They're all toxic as fuck. If I were OP I'd go NC with everyone but the younger brother to make sure he's okay.

[@erikagehm2805]

Story 1: Poor Marry, she didn't have a chance at life; and I hope that her dad takes her to counseling.

[@Andrea.S.Alvey12]

My oldest son has multiple disabilities, dating back to his birthing process. He also has "global" learning disorders. Those issues were never allowed to stand as an excuse for crap/violent/rude behaviour. I spent years teaching him that good manners will smooth over a number of social gaffs. Mary's mother is an idiot.

[@sonyamcgrath9223]

The first child's tantrum had nothing to do with her disability. She had a tantrum because she was spoiled.

[@lizablossom-b6g]

I feel like “sweet” and “entitled” shouldn’t be in the same sentence

[@carlrood4457]

Too many people fail to realize that appropriate discipline is an act of love. You are teaching the child how to behave when the time comes and you are not around. Teaching correct ways of handling anger is part of that.

[@GIChiyo]

Story 1: Yeah no, they are saying that so you don't sure them for all the damages

[@sheridan8766]

One day hurricane Mary will delete someone they need to send her to anger management classes. Op is not the AH or ableist.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: "Mary has big emotions"? More like, "Mary has big tantrums." You're not discriminating against a disability, you're setting reasonable boundaries for a spoiled child which her parents should have done years ago. "Don't break my dishes and TV" are very reasonable requests. Send Mary's mother the bill for the TV and dishes (you had witnesses), with the warning that she can settle or you will sue. Mary's parents are the ones that are abelists and are doing their child a disservice. Disabled or not, kids can learn manners and acceptable behaviors, it just takes a lot of work and means she actually has to, you know, parent. Consider your cousin's threat (don't threaten me with a good time) a blessing: Since you are dead to her, you no longer have to deal with her awful child, and the trash has taken itself out. S2: OP needs to send her brother the text about "forgetting" the pill and tell him reproductive coercion is illegal.

[@binkao2938]

I’m sorry what? If a child destroys something no matter if it’s a tantrum or an innocent accident in my country the parents are liable to pay the damages.

[@binkao2938]

Jeez the last story.. I hope the older brother finds out all the shit his wife & friend did to his siblings 🤯

[@AIBot929]

Yeah I think he did find out what they did to his siblings during the wedding, which would be why he came back early. I think she told him after they consumated the marriage, and she planned to get pregnant, I wouldn't put it past Op's mother to have a hand in it. They probably got back together because " It all worked out, no harm done" or claimed to be pregnant, "lets make it work for child" It all seems heavily orchestrated. I think her brother should divorce her ASAP as she is very manipulative and he better get a DNA test just to make sure.

[@jacearmor5274]

Accountability =/= ableism.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - I'm glad OP is getting compensation, but let us address what the child's father said; this child has attacked other children several times? OMG. If this time the other kid was so badly hurt that the parents of that child are going after Mary's parents, it is about beyond hope. What are they going to do if she has a tantrum in a store and ruins thousands of pounds of items? They are always going to paying for the shit she does until they cannot and the Crown takes over and puts her in prison. Feel bad for Mary as her mum did her NO favors by letting her get away with this behavior. And as a side note, the lawyer saying 'kids have tantrums', um no. By the age of 7, I knew very well not to throw plates and break things at my own house or the homes of others!

[@nvfury13]

Kid starts smashing stuff in my house, the *voice* (which will rattle all the windows in a house, and has been heard clearly through several walls/rooms and positive pressure zones) will be used to tell them to stop.

[@impagain]

Story 2, she needs to tell her brother about the sexual coercion comment! That is literally s3xual a$$ault! She really needs to talk to her bro about this stuff. Show him this post, explain everything, and get him out of that manipulative, gaslighting situation.

[@brietiernan7101]

#1 I know a family who has a child like this and nothing was done until the child ran over an infant and killed it!! She jumped in a running car and yelled that she was going to kill the baby and did it!! Her parents just stood by and watched her run over a baby in a stroller!! She is locked up in an institution now.

[@soogymoogi]

Story 2: if sister did baby trap or otherwise screw with her BC to have OP's brother impregnate her, that's reproductive coercion and it IS abuse! What a terrible person.

[@itsamonkieplanet9367]

Mom needs therapy for her guilt about her child’s diagnosis . She is incapable of parenting to her child benefit

[@kimsvisualdiary]

Story 2: I’m honestly impressed by the Machiavellian level of conspiracy amongst the bridal party plus OP’s family to exclude OP and the little brother from the wedding and wedding activities. They should go NC with the lot of them including OP’s awful mother and sister.