Fearful Avoidant: On and Off Relationships | How to Heal

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In this video, Thais Gibson shares 3 steps for how to heal after on and off relationships. Watch now to find out the 3 steps and learn how they apply to your relationships as Thais offers up some guidance and useful tips for anyone but especially if you are a fearful avoidant attachment style or someone dating a fearful avoidant attachment style (disorganized attachment style).
For more information check out the course, Healthy and Passionate Relationships after Emotional Pain (Re-Programming the Fearful Avoidant Attachment Style).
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00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:25 - Understanding the Flip-Flop Dynamic in Relationships
00:04:12 - The More Disconnected From Yourself, The More Disconnected From Others
00:06:02 - Not Expressing Your Needs
00:09:51 - Step #1: What Are Your Fears?
00:11:48 - Step #2: Maintain Connection To Ourselves
00:12:25 - Step #3: Communicate Your Needs To Others
00:13:27 - Conclusion
00:13:58 - 7-Day Free Trial: FA Reprogramming Course
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Hey there! I'm Thais Gibson, and this is the channel where I teach you how to transform your life.
I created the Personal Development School, an online learning platform that gives users the ability to create true and long-lasting change in their lives through personal development courses that are designed to give you a breakthrough in every area of your life, with a 99.7% satisfaction rate.
Our KZbin videos give you a glimpse into this in-depth course content. Much of what you'll learn here is based on your attachment style and how that affects the relationships you have with your family, friendships, and of course, your romantic relationships.
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#PersonalDevelopmentSchool #ThaisGibson #PDS #AttachmentStyles #FearfulAvoidantAttachment #FearfulAvoidantCoreWounds #DisorganizedAttachment #FearfulAvoidantCourse

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Share your experience with On and Off Relationships in the comments below:

[@jbanks7561]

Former FA here, 99% secured now. The fear of expressing needs is so spot on. From my experience.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Congrats on the effort you have put into your healing! So happy you've come this far, you should be proud ❤

[@jahjah1769]

Thank you for sharing that you have gotten over this. It often seems like a hopeless situation.

[@jbanks7561]

@chunsahx i would suggest starting with 1 or a few people you are close with, family members or close friends. Thats where i started my process, and I gradually began to communicate with co-workers.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Remember, there are root causes as to why this happens. Be gentle and kind to yourself in your healing! Shaming or negative self talk is the opposite of what we need when doing reprogramming work ❤

[@dangfd551]

Without positive reinforcement, self talk can be inconsequential. Especially if your environment and those in it constantly reinforce a negative image of you that is not gentle or kind, or is a poor reflection of how you see yourself and others.

[@trucuriousity]

We're afraid of the thing we want the most. And it makes sense for someone who learned about attachment from an abusive or otherwise unreliable caregiver. 😢

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

💜

[@ryanmccarter9859]

Heartbreaking, for both parties. My FA ex and I recently met up after being broken up for 11 months (over a manufactured excuse, mind you). Within 30 minutes, it felt like we never broke up. I missed her so much during the break, but at times I thought to myself, "Am I romanticizing the past? Was our connection really that good? If it were, why wouldn't she want it again?" We were together all night, well into the morning, and I discovered no, I was not overly romanticizing the past. That entire night was incredible. She ended up telling me she loved me and wanted to see me again soon. We communicated frequently for about ten days after, then she just went cold and disappeared. It helps to understand that it's not my fault, but is still so disappointing, because I know she feels the same way I do.

[@joannedomingo2398]

Prayers for you all to be healed. I just walked away from a fearful avoidant. I love him so much but I had to leave. Trust me people like me suffer as well.

[@finetrue]

As an FA, I did not express my needs in the past because I subconsciously deeply believed I would be abandoned eventually, and asking for what I need might lead to two results: being rejected which would cause even more pain than not asking, or needs being granted but leaving the other person unhappy, which would give another reason for myself being blamed when abandoned. So, the most comfortable way is to never have needs from others 😅

[@Jamy528]

Thank you for sharing this. 💜

[@LenkaSingh-gl2be]

OMG that is so spot on. That is exactly how I operate 😢

[@Indigobaby1111]

Omg I feel the same way. I hate being dependant on anyone

[@lhmccool67]

Same!!

[@trucuriousity]

My FA ex wouldn't trust that I would meet his needs if he shared them with me, no matter what I said. And he would just turn so cold and resentful. I actually learned a lot from seeing myself in him. I never quite understood how it feels to be on the receiving end of an FA ice out. It's been three weeks since he dumped me out of the blue for basically no real reason. And last night I woke up at 4am after a bad dream and felt my emotional body so battered and bruised and betrayed. I just laid there and cried. I will hopefully never do that to anyone again. 🙏

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

💜

[@NT-qd2rs]

Hugs

[@rebeccatargett7057]

How are you doing now, 5 months on? X

[@jenaya_laila2442]

I'm s fearful avoidant and to be honest, in my experience, I've always tried to express my needs or set boundaries ( also a way of expressing needs) but they have either been ignored or met with anger outbursts or upset..So, even in adult life, I haven't been able to just state my needs and set boundaries without conflict...even for the tiniest ones..

[@spacegirl226]

Same here. I feel you.

[@MannerofMagi007]

Boundaries are to be respected or you walk. That is the point of boundaries. Not staying and arguing or being on and off.

[@Heyu7her3]

​@@MannerofMagi007 it's not just romantic relationships tho. and not that cut/dry.

[@S.L.Aubourg]

This is literally my story. It’s like they hear me but don’t and I have to create a safe space for my nervous system.

[@sf808opalaman]

Female ADHD, depression, anxiety, AND menopause in Fearful Avoidant makes self reflection and express needs makes it more difficult…

[@JoyfulNomad81]

When I feel triggered, I want relief from my thoughts and feelings. Instead of communicating I just end it and relief comes, but then so does regret. I know Im the problem and dont want to hurt anyone again, so I stay away. They come back and the cycle starts all over.

[@hellomybaby7486]

Why don’t you see a therapist and heal.? This behavior really does hurt your partner. I’m seeing someone who’s a FA and he truly hurts me so much with his behavior l. I wish I could help him .

[@javiergomezcaballero8339]

You know… as an FA the most difficult thing are the swings between hot and cold ( it really turns me into another different person, I wish I knew how to cope with it ) and when an AP expect from you to meet their needs that are not even reachable, it puts so much pressure on me that I end up going into my avoidant side with loads of anxiety, which makes me rethink the relationship and my feelings for that person which are in doubt when I’m in avoidant side… it just just sucks cause all feelings disappear.

[@TimStJohn-xp8rv]

4 Years of dealing with on again off again! It is the worst feeling especially when you love them dearly! And refuses to get counseling!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❣

[@andypsa5131]

My fear is being invalidated and devalued. I always seem to attract DAs who are so into me to begin with, even with limerence on occasions, and then over time I hate the devaluation process. It's got to the stage where I'm looking for it even when it isn't present.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

That's definitley a valid fear and fom what you've gone through, I can understand why you are looking out for that now. What would you say is your current level of self-validation and how you value yourself right now?

[@watermeloenislekker]

The devaluation is so painful, been there...

[@kash.e.w2936]

Yes yes yes, by FAR my biggest fear in all of my romantic relationships

[@andypsa5131]

@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool I spent time working on myself years ago, and the change was amazing. Loving myself unconditionally transformed my personality and gave me huge confidence in myself. I also lost the doublemindedness and became confident in making important decisions believing in my own judgment. The area I really struggle with is trust when it comes to relationships. Do you find that trust is something that FAs in general struggle with? I know that FAs are supposed to fear abandonment, but for me it's the invalidation part of it that I dread. To be invalidated by someone you love is a crushing experience.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

@@andypsa5131trust is definitely one of the biggest struggles for an FA. Usually in their childhood they had trust broken for them so many times that they continue this subconscious belief that people aren't to be trusted, and eventually they will break trust (not IF, when). Your work is to build self-trust. An FA breaks trust with self all the time (doesn't set boundaries, doesn;t speak up for needs, over gives, etc), so an FA would have to strengthen all those areas and promise yourself that you wont ignore red flags, will set boundaries when neccessary, speak up when something doesn't feel right and have congruency (words, lining up with actions). We can create a lot of self trust when we know that we will be there for ourselves and we also this up as a subconscious comfort zone for how we will accept another to treat us.

[@scarletsletter4466]

I’ve never been FA but I’m very reserved/ introvert & somewhat anxious in general, so this still struck a chord with me. It usually just doesn’t occur to me to state my wants/ needs. I will overgive & then feel unappreciated 😂

[@swarovskikris1]

That’s one of the signs of being an FA

[@NT-qd2rs]

This is horrible for a partner. I love my fa, but I have no idea how to trust again. Just 0 reliability. 😢

[@brain_unlimited]

Knowing my needs and Expressing them was the key for me! Especially to stop feeling so trapped ❤ thanks to PDS courses

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

great to hear!

[@Feliciations]

I am a DA, or have turned into one, not sure. But my last relationship was with a FA, and this on again off again dynamic drove me so nuts. Got me to a point where I legit stopped caring about the other person.

[@joannedomingo2398]

I was involved with a FA. I’m drained, upset and very disappointed because I waited a year for this man and I got exhausted waiting for him to stop the in and out. I wasted a year.

[@Jamy528]

This is the best video you've done on this topic so far...a lot of truths and eye-opening statements. I honestly don't know what I'd do right now without all your wisdom & knowledge that you so generously share! 💜🙏 Thank you!!

[@amarchelk]

Fearful avoidants aren't worth it. Games and mental anguish is all they have to offer. We all must grow up and deal with our crap. Turn to God, confess your shortcomings and sins, let Him forgive and make us into a new person with a new heart and mind like He promises. He healed me from all past traumas and experiences that keep us bound and in prison in our own minds. There is a wonderful, free Life waiting!!

[@EdHayes3]

I'm not sure God is the answer... And I partly agree about FAs. It's terribly difficult to deal with FAs in relationships. But it's not their fault; give them a chance, see if they are willing to do the work to heal.

[@amarchelk]

@@EdHayes3 I think 20 plus years is more than enough time. The Lord is the answer because He healed me of my hangups that kept me stuck. I have a lot of grace for people because I know the struggles but I know that when I finally decided to deal with myself and quit relying on fallible people- change occurred. I had to admit my failures and sins and quit blaming everyone before God could bring a changed heart and mind to me. Sometimes we must exercise "tough Love" and leave people to themselves. I've been on both sides of that spectrum. Best thing that ever happened to me was to have nowhere to turn except to God. "Call on Me in your day of trouble and I will deliver you." That is a promise from God.

[@S.L.Aubourg]

It’s crazy how you have such belief and no mercy. Thank goodness your not God. God never gives up on us. And eventually all people can heal if they want to. Btw You can not be FA but a narcissist so…. I’m unfazed by your comment. You could be a toxic individual or super judgmental. The point is we are all flawed. Be kind. Jesus said cast the first stone to those that were judging and they couldn’t.

[@radicaled8447]

You really know your stuff these videos have been way more enlightening than the “get your ex back” stuff I’ve used during my 3 month breakup after a 12 year relationship ended. Both of us have sever childhood trauma and it shows in our attachment styles.

[@MostlyCloudy]

Great video. Just going through one of these swings now. Definitely attribute it to my fear of being alone. Can't be lonely if you don't let anyone get too close. Except now he's my husband. Super close, and I'm FREAKING. OUT. 😂

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

write out all of your fears, worst case scenarios, so you can see your thoughts on paper and can see what core wounds and limiting beliefs you might need to reprogram

[@ginagray8040]

Same here, I am going through this too. I feel bad for my boyfriend. He doesn’t deserve this.

[@JacobCarlson-uq1my]

I think that having a good councilor ,therapist, or guide that you can relate to or gain very good information from is not always the easiest to come across,so when it happens of feels miraculous.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

I remember this feeling when I started my healing journey! ❤

[@JacobCarlson-uq1my]

❤

[@JacobCarlson-uq1my]

And also to be able to read people's responses to your messages/ guidance is truly an amazing thing/ process.

[@LadyR5394]

This is based on the assumption that people in your life even want to meet your needs. When I state boundaries or needs they go on the offensive or tell me my needs are unreasonable/disrespect my boundaries further to meet their wants. Some of the better moments have them telling me to get my needs met elsewhere

[@jahjah1769]

Childhood trauma just Fs you over as a person for the long haul. It sucks.

[@droflivelife]

I loved my FA so much. She left me for the second time. I've just reached out after 5 months no contact. I'm not sure about how they can feel abandonment as I would never have left her. I know she wanted space, but she used that space to connect, text, get attention from other guys. So this made me super anxious. She is still cold after 5 months and said she feels nothing and no intention of getting back. Said she will be single for life. I don't get that, rather be alone then with me who loved you so much. She has no issue with being with a different guy each week to fill her needs. I'm still traumatised.

[@imsickoflife1651]

I’m severely FA. I don’t even talk on the phone. And I have agoraphobia & selective mutism. My parents abused & neglected me in shocking ways. And now I’m just learning my spouse of 20 years is a porn addict. I’m so depressed. I don’t want to be here anymore. I’ve been hitting my face. I just want to be happy but now it’s not possible. I would’ve done anything for my spouse.

[@georgiacraze6859]

You are reading my heart. This is the best description I have ever heard. Trying to understand myself after separation. Thank you so much for making this video x

[@lifecoachingtoronto]

It might even be true that a lot of people are like the people who hurt you from your childhood, but firstly that doesn't mean that you have to be that way toward yourself, and secondly it doesn't mean EVERYBODY is like that. What do you think?

[@sadiqua7]

Agree, I was unaware of attachments until my FA abruptly pulled away. I can’t figure out how to reengage him without further pushing him away. I honestly just want to hug him, he’s so hard on himself, I didn’t get the extent of his traumas until to late and am sorry his work schedule didn’t allow for more connection time or I would’ve been able to prove how empathetic I am. It was a lot of power struggle, I register as secure but with high FA and AA percentages with a little bit of secure. Hoping we get another shot but am not holding my breath, he has to want to let his wall down and really look at root causes he is so hot and cold. It’s clearly not because of his ex cheating, it’s childhood traumas and lack of communication that we’re both guilty of

[@StudioSGS]

That is true. And we often find people like those who hurt us. But definitely not everybody is like that. If you find a compassionate soul who's willing to be patient and love you through your trauma, stay as close as you can. They can help you heal.

[@radovansurlak7445]

Fellow FAs, how do you know the partner is right for you or not? I struggle deciding if it’s incompatibility or FA wanting me to leave a relationship.

[@EdHayes3]

As a ex partner of an FA, maybe I can give some advice from that perspective. Just sit down at talk to your partner. And when I mean talk, I mean, speak and listen. Any "talk" I ever had with my ex FA partner, he would just tell me why things couldn't work out. Pretty much said I didn't meet his needs that he never told me. Never gave me the chance to meet them, or see if we could compromise on conflict. You will never find the perfect partner that will meet your needs and be just as you like. There will always be conflict. The best partners are the ones that are willing to hear you, see you, and compromise. Give your partner a chance before you assume they wont compromise or meet your needs. Do the "When you do this, I feel this" type thing.

[@longlivemj17]

100% am wondering the same

[@StudioSGS]

The right partner is the one who is willing to struggle with you and you are willing to struggle with. A lot of people have work to do to have a healthy relationship. You don't get there without staying in the game and fighting for it. You have to stop running away.

[@user-lx4uk5un7s]

I just broke it off with an FA, for the 3rd time. I vow that this was the last time.

[@joannedomingo2398]

Ditto

[@bravefitness1781]

Regarding the "turn my brain off" point. I don't know. I can be myself with him and I don't overthink my behavior as I know he loves me anyway. But I don't trust him on planning our vacation, valentines day celebration or similar. He loves his routines and he's not used to anything outside it. It's usually me coming up with initiative's outside the normal every day life and I don't like that, which I made clear from the day we met. He's coming up with initiative's sometimes, but it's only things he wants to do. Apart from this he's very loving and caring and I trust him on that I'm the only one for him.

[@arielargo]

FA here. It's hard to express my needs, specially because I don't want to hurt my loved one, so it's just easier to shut down or release myself from the situation. I lost my partner a few months ago because of that and was not able to communicate this at the time. I have a lot of regrets, but now It's too late and I just need to learn from this experience. Learning from attachment styles has really taught me a lot about myself and how to cope with these situations. Easier said than done, but at least now I understand. Thank you for explaining this!

[@EdHayes3]

How is it too late?

[@arielargo]

@@EdHayes3 She's hurt. We've been on zero contact for 6 months now and I know she's no longer interested in continuing with it. She's moving on.

[@jexwixx5146]

@@arielargodon’t know unless you try

[@iuliab.9]

Again, why do you assume things? Ask her how she feels, tell her your regrets and what you’ve learnt as you will see the outcome. Good luck! I’m still waiting on my boyfriend, he seemed to regret it from the same day, we still talk only if i message once or twice a week but the rest.. radio silent. It hurts, but it hurts more to not know and feel unworthy. If you really care about her hurting, you would at least message and tell her it was about you.

[@roshalllambert]

Loved the explanation of all the points!

[@moneymakermish]

This was an amazing video! I found your videos over a year ago… been helping me tremendously!! ❤ thank you!

[@notvrycoolbutissokay6621]

Thankyou so much for the video.

[@stevensantora2976]

Thank you so much.

[@HH-pj5bl]

Another great video! It makes even more sense now why fas push and pull! Def our own stories hurt ourselves but others too. Thank you Thais love you❤

[@ginagray8040]

This is so me!!!!

[@RobMacDougall]

so helpful. i've been in flight mode for a while now and i'm definitely not in touch with my needs. feelings. thanks PDS. thanks Thais. i needed to hear this today!!!

[@dentrout9383]

Yes! I get very fustrated. And it throws people off when I get drained bc they look at me as a boy scout; I actually was a boy scout. I give way too much. My lawyer told me that Im a people pleaser. I didn't know what she meant. You litrally described my life.

[@Joe-ol5bq]

This one couldnt be more timely. Thank you for all you do

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

💜

[@marieliswolfram9087]

Thais you are the best. I watched all your videos and I learned so much. I recomend you to everyone.

[@Michelle-qq4sd]

So helpful! ❤

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

💜

[@jaelualec3932]

Love you're content! Always so inspiring. ❤️

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank you!

[@PrancyBiscuit]

This is a great and helpful video, thank you 💕 It does feel a bit like, generally speaking, that the pain and wounds of avoidants get highlighted, and justifiably so, but those of AAa less so (again generally, not in this video, which was specifically about FAs). The abandonment wounds and rejection dysphoria are excrutiating, and I would love to see some content about how hard it is to "meet your own needs" during a trauma response that feels excrutiating at a visceral level. Thank you.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

💜

[@JacobCarlson-uq1my]

Hopefully I'll eventually be able to express my take away from it instead of being a broken record .

[@EdHayes3]

Would love to see a video on how to approach an FA partner or ex partner who is showing these behaviors, and make them aware of what is going on. I've confronted the hot & cold; it did not go well. And it continued. I just want them to heal.

[@dentrout9383]

My ex told me once that he " Knew me better than I know myself". Yeah No! Narcissist.

[@henryzhao4622]

Hi Thais! CN you do a vid on how long it takes for FAs to overcome/forgive a rejection from a loved one?

[@Miiimiiinette]

Very interesting... im an FA working on being secure while in a situation ship with an FA who has really strong hot/cold patterns and who can not see them for the life of him .. i often see that he still has a big trust wound and refuses to communicate his needs (other than when he is too angry) ... I know better than to try to heal him but knowing and understanding his wounds i dont trigger them as often and it seems to minimise the pendulum swings

[@ajchiappetta8795]

I was just dating a fearful avoidant guy and he ended it and saw me again twice in one month. One minute I felt was he was very into me, the other times he absolutely was not. It was exhausting, I called him weak and said F-off bc I called him on his crap and tried to tell me that it was me lol When I’m laying naked in bed with another man, that INVITED me over and I have to literally tell him to either participate or I’m going to leave….I had to say that crap to get him to act….it was nuts!!

[@joannedomingo2398]

They become a narcissist when they blame you when it’s them. I just walked away.

[@mistakesweremade6771]

i express myself and get the silent treatment from the DA...idk what to do and how to move forward,..

[@joannedomingo2398]

Same

[@hipnhappenin]

How do I know if it's him being FA or him just not being interested? I'm a firm believer in "we see what we want to see." So I can see evidence for both in my past relationship (he seems to fit FA almost to a T, but I don't want to pathologize him). He broke up with me twice. First time I was blindsided and he later said it was because he got "scared" of how quickly things were moving, second time it was one week after the exclusivity talk when he said he saw long term potential with me.

[@JacobCarlson-uq1my]

I'm not sure exactly how to explain what the biggest take away is. It seems like it's hard for me to explain that ,but I can 100 percent feel & sence that your mind,knowledgeable and heartfelt guidance, wisdom that you are putting out there is the best thing for these ears to be absorbing, listening to. I feel like it all must relate to my life for sure and what I'm dealing with and so listening to you whether I'm able to understand the take away right away or not ,I'm still definitely benefiting from listening to you. I do wonder if factors in my childhood created factors in adulthood that are effecting this life ,so it does feel like quite a miracle to have the opportunity to listen to someone who speaks such helpful healing messages. I do also feel like you are helping me to understand others around me as well.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Great to hear! I can almost guarantee you that factors in your childhood are affecting things now (unless things are going really really great!). Those formative years we are a sponge and we are taking in everything we hear, see and observe. We now see life through a filter of these things. At those really young ages, we don't have the mind to understand certain things our parents do, so we almost always make it mean that it was something we did, or something about us that made them do what they do. I.e. if a parent was depressed and wasn't overly warm with us, we would never be able to understand depression, we would only make it mean the parent must not love us because we are defective, or not good enough, and we wil carry that into adulthood if wearent aware of this subconcsious belief. This is one small example.

[@JacobCarlson-uq1my]

@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool 🔮❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@JacobCarlson-uq1my]

Thankyou for that one small example and all your teachings and obvious huge heart.

[@divineradiancewisdom]

Can you do a video on intrusive thoughts

[@mattcurr9931]

you mentioned in one of your FA videos of the different types. My partner is FA control, can you do a video and speak to that. her issues dont seem to be trust-based at all, but rather a loss of control/independence, she feels safe on her own.

[@JacobCarlson-uq1my]

I have no clue who my biological father was or is ,but i don't know if that effected me or not . The man my mom got together with was a great father. But i still do wonder if i have abandonment issues or what if any issues i do or don't have from life growing up. I can say that if i do have any hidden or unknown issues that having a teacher like you around is like the purest gold or the best thing possible to have.

[@aristark559]

hard to differentiate from borderline-disorder

[@suzanne2703]

This is me to a T.

[@MelodyKiersz]

My partner is FA, and the problem I/we are facing is that he seems to sometimes need me to not transmit my feelings. I say ‘transmit’ because he gets upset that even though he did communicate a boundary of not being able to talk about what’s coming up for me and I accepted it, he gets massively upset if my tone doesn’t communicate that all is well (even when I tell him that yes, I’m having feelings but I can process them on my own and all IS well). It’s like he feels like I’m not respecting his needs, and he blows up at me cuz he doesn’t want to be aware of them because of how it makes him feel that he has caused them. It’s really not fair. I’m not a robot who can just flip a switch. His need to not be disturbed by me having feelings, his need to not be in connection with the fact that he did something that disappointed me or caused me pain… I’m trying to find a video about how to deal with this, if anyone can help.

[@carolinegrove4701]

"stay" connected to your needs, feelings, boundaries etc? I don't know how to get connected in the first place

[@laluna424]

How do you deal with the shame of expressing your needs and then u get let down?? Please advise

[@Braddicusfinch]

Is there something to the idea that you're worried you'll hurt them if you disconnect or deactivate or is that just a sign that you care about them without being romantically invested in them? I've recently been seeing someone, and it's come to a halt a couple of times, this time presumably the final one, because I get to the point where I'm pushing away and, when she tries to get closer, I either come closer for a while only to begin pushing, or I end things because I feel like I can't give her a relationship and I know she will drag herself through the coals in the hopes that I reciprocate, so it doesn't feel fair, but then it feels even more unfair to start things up again

[@frederickwee]

In summary a fearful avoidant is a paradox in themselves.

[@Thysta]

In other words it is just learned helplessness right?

[@biblicalgodisonlytruegod]

Thais… you have “vocal fry” which makes it so uncomfortable to listen to your voice. I so love your content. PLEASE look into it.

[@katrinawarren1006]

I’m def going through a swing 🥲

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

❤

[@LeeChrissy]

Same. ❤