FINAL FANTASY XIII (Zero Punctuation)

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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Final Fantasy XIII.
Fast-talking Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw reviews a new game each week in this animated series that combines informed critique with cutting humor. Watch the next episode of Zero Punctuation a week early, only on The Escapist.
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[@megasean3000]

"This is NOT good story telling! You're supposed to weave exposition into the narrative, not hand the audience a f*cking glossary as they walk into the theatre!" Could not agree more!

[@foxmcmillan5319]

Amen brother, by the way it's the same way like anime now. Anime used to be cool and rad, but now you can find boobs that bigger than their heads, and jailbaits. RIP ANIME 1917-2010

[@tazhc1]

Fox McMillan not true at all, you just need to look around. Steins gate, Hyouka, Fate Zero, Guilty Crown, Psycho Pass, Aldnoah Zero, Durarara, Anohana, Knights of Sidonia, etc. I could go on but you get the point

[@Torguish]

Tazwar Choudhury Boku no Pico, Seikon no Qwas- OH GOD, MY BRAIN.

[@tazhc1]

You monster.......

[@ECL28E]

Tazwar Choudhury Paranoia Agent?

[@bobbluered8984]

Snow, Lightning, Hope... Does anyone think that these sound like street drugs?

[@femoman]

Doesn't help that Snow kinda looks like a dealer.

[@prw56]

gingersleep coincidentally, hope (the drug) is also a depressant!

[@aperturesciencegames]

Bob Bluered YO WE GOT THAT SNOW, DONT MISS OUT ON SNOW LIGHTNING! HIT THAT LIGHTNING, DONT FORGET THAT DLC OUTFIT! We don't sell hope any more, there was a demand we remove that one :P

[@FlintDragoon]

+Bob Bluered sounds like it's code for heroin.

[@thehumungus9066]

Snow = cocaine, Lightning = meth, Hope = heroin

[@Kaefer1973]

By giving up too early he missed the brilliant plot twist that this time around the kooky character is in fact the angsty character, what a twist!

[@MegaFriendlyCreeper]

"The story is paced like an ant pushing a brick across a desert," is the greatest line in the history of media criticism.

[@emmmaritchie3532]

Good lord I forgot to eat chicken

[@clousmason5732]

FF7 was the beginning of the repeating character types, because they wanted to capture the lighting it struck and cash in on it. Cloud wasn't angst-sty (Damn you advent children.) he had a lot of elements to his character, most notably at the beginning. Although later in the game after having a ton of crap (Discovery that he is a science experiment, Death of companion/girlfriend, the realization the world may end soon via multiple sources. To name a few.) dumped on him he does change a bit, but that's called having a dynamic character. Which I thought was the point.

[@PrinceVinc]

This maybe 4 years old, but yeah. I can't believe how disconnected every modern version of cloud is compared to his own game. (Kingdom hearts, dissidia)

[@jackgarcia5926]

@@PrinceVinc that's because the people that _actually_ wrote the character didn't write any of the other garbage. Want the name of the disease that degraded Cloud into the butt end of every emo joke? It's called Nomura. And best brace yourself, because that hack is co-directing the remake.

[@Takashiseal]

If I were to sum up my thoughts on this game in three sentences, it'd be... Auto-Attack Walk straight Watch cutscene.

[@NeoSaturos123]

Unlock Paradigm Shift Get into a battle Try to Auto-Attack Get a game over

[@Takashiseal]

And that's after the hours of hit A to win.

[@kelvinkegel2304]

Takashiseal X man, X.

[@Takashiseal]

But the X is on the box of my console. Why do I need to hit it to win? Me us Xbox. me hit A, man. A!!!

[@kelvinkegel2304]

:D

[@Megaspartan23]

For Final Fantasy XV Angsty Spice - Noctis Serious Spice - Ignis Manly Spice - Gladio Kooky Spice - Prompto

[@TheCoenkampioen]

Dont know why, but ive never hated videogamecharacters as much as the playable characters from ffxv

[@fightingmedialounge519]

Sounds angsty spice to me just one you agree with.

[@jonchilders7363]

Seems that FFXV forgot to include Ethnic spice

[@NoahDaArk]

otakuman23 Yes thats true, but you see the place that FFXV differs is in the fact that its fun!

[@borederlands5387]

2:56 did he just predict final fantasy xv?

[@TheCorrodedMan]

Oberto K Yahtzee Is a fucking psychic

[@Merumya]

He liked FF VI "Ah, I see you're a man of culture as well."

[@BaranZenon]

This game is so linear that my blind friend managed to beat half of this game. He had to stop when the open areas were introduced and he could not get around that.

[@godpower97]

I'm getting this strange feeling that he might like Chrono Trigger.

[@5nefarious]

Turn based combat, but it is way more engaging then what he just described. It also gives you a considerable amount of freedom to roam around instead of the linear corridors. I've never played any Final Fantasy games but I love Chrono Trigger.

[@axelkusanagi4139]

Wonder if he'd care for the faster paced combat in SaGa Frontier? I.E., spamming the confirm button, and occasionally having to switch attacks when you run out of wp/jp. It has a fairly odd aesthetic, I.E., not preteens that stepped on a landmine in a trendy clothes' store, and so nonlinear you're likely to get lost.

[@hermit_36]

I made it as far as that one robot boss fight in the snow area and gave up to play Bioshock.

[@seanodonoghue116]

I bought Bioshock during the sales... no audio but played years ago on PS3

[@m3gAm37aLmAnX]

That's the same one in which I first figured out that if your main character dies, it's game over, at which point I was like "Well THAT'S totally fair!"

[@ty_teynium]

TripleSK7 I made it to the part where I rescue Vanilla ( or Sass? Snow?) and I face that Bartelemow dude after he posed as Cera. I LAUGHED as I turned it off and walked away. How many names did I misspell?

[@3mpt7]

This was one of the games I bought when I was learning how to use a Xbox controller. Most of it can be played with one hand, which was great. Having never played a final fantasy game before, I didn't have a problem with the linearity--in fact, I had the most issue with the multiple-path sections, which started appearing ten hours in; even more so with the level-grinding area that is the open world of Gran Pulse--mostly because I kept getting lost. The storyline is basic. There are these machine gods, called the "fallacy"/fal'Cie and they make "lackeys"/l'Cie to perform set tasks; usually related to killing things or blowing them up, because humans live in an enclosed xenophobic world called Cocoon, terrified of the "monsters" from Pulse, who haven't been seen for generations... I don't know. I kind of liked the plot, and the characters, and the gameplay; it's all very simple, and realized with imaginative locales, and relaxing music. I think that's what I liked most about this game; it was rather relaxing. Just go here, select a target, select a battle stance (high damage, increase chain bonus, buff allied stats, debuff enemy stats, guard against attacks, heal), and let the heroes do all of the leaping and flailing for you, whilst sitting back giving orders with one hand. Honestly, I enjoyed this game almost as much as Knights of the Old Republic. Hope has the lowest HP of all the characters, by the way. Apparently you were supposed to pick up on that, and the fact that in the first five hours, the only combat experience he gets is when he's pitted against what seems to be the fantasy equivalent of a stray dog, and a slightly-more-vicious-than-usual roomba. Oh, and Vanille...I'm sorry, but I've met actual human beings like that...not dressed like that...not quite...but who behave like that, possibly as a result of say...being hit in the head with a sledgehammer, riddled with bullets from a machine gun, having gasoline poured over them, and then being set on fire (looks at the end of the video)...or something. Thoroughly enjoyed this review; also thoroughly enjoyed Final Fantasy XIII...except for the level-grinding.

[@SplitxHeart]

Oh, you can call yourself lucky, that you only got to play 5 hours of this when you made the review. I played almost all the way through to the end boss. I then suddenly noticed that I was probably terribly underleveled, because I gave a damn for running around a freaking wildlife paradise doing sidequests and just went on returning to the place where the real shit happened. I still couldn't figure out if there is a way to go back, or if I have to replay the entire game! *noms her own face*

[@nottherealpaulsmith]

SplitxHeart this was alright until the last line that last line made me want to die

[@Gamsterjeff600]

There was a point you can backtrack to some areas. I beaten the game with little grind

[@jupitersgodzilla7114]

Cool pfp, wheres it from?

[@zelda12346]

Here are some examples of turn based combat I really liked: pokemon Megaman X Command Mission Mana Khemia Paper Mario Paper Mario: TYD Guess what they all have in common? Select target -> Press a button to go up to an enemy and bash their knee caps. No menus unless you want to cast spells/items/check stats/etc. Hell, even KH had a better menu system than FF, and replaying KH now made me realize how low my standards for UI were when I was 12. And then you get something like White Knight Chronicles where the combat system is MMORPG style combat. Yay? Except that you have to go the shit fest of menus to set up combos with the metric ton of abilities you accrue before the fighting even begins. It's like the Japanese are actively trying to make the combat systems stupid. What is so damn difficult about making a turn based combat system where you press the primary button to attack, secondary button(s) to cast a predetermined favorite spell you customize before the game, tertiary button for Final Strike esque abilities, and a menu button that you don't have to touch if you don't want to?

[@harryobyrne2806]

Z-Statistic I'm from the future, have you tried persona 5

[@Bashyd]

Trails of cold steel series.

[@bandicootsauce4569]

"Subjecting myself to anymore of it could probably be classified as self-flagellation." My experience with most JRPGs summed up perfectly.

[@Neosaigo]

The 3 biggest problem with XIII is simply a convoluted storyline, boring combat mechanics, and a complete linear progression. Which is the exact opposite of what FF used to do pretty well for their time. Even simple turn based combat can be interesting with enough depth in the game mechanics, but XIII didn't even do that. XIII-2 was a vast improvement over XIII, but some of the problems still remained.

[@Entropy3ko]

That is basically most JRPGs :D Remember Final Fantasy 6 (game which I like and sometimes even replay)... The story line is decent there for those times (when games hardly had any story at all) but combat always felt like a choir (and oh ... the grinding...) and even if at one point you can fly everywhere, it is basically a linear game. Same fro Chrono Trigger or Earthbound (games I also love). It's just the JRPG style... and INDEED that is what I HATE about current JPRGs... they improved the graphics a lot, put cinematics that rival movies... but in essence they have not improved much from their 8 or 16 bits counterparts when it comes to gameplay... ...also... they are in the end always a grindfest. Sure they promise 60-80-100 hrs of gameplay... but many of those hours will not be hun exploration or a fun storyline... it will be fighting the same enemies 100 times to go up to a decent level if you do not want to die horribly at some boss.

[@Entropy3ko]

***** All you said still boils down to the FACT that still you have to grind a lot in JRPGs. Sure if you go in a dungeon before the grind-athon you get destroyed because the enemies will be too strong. That does not really require any brains at all. Just a lot of patience. That is just not good game design in my opinion, but forced padding. Challenge and leveling up should flow in the game, not force you to farm experience points which is really boring. It might have been ok on the SNES (and I love FF4, 5 and 6, even if there you still have to grind a lot) since the technology was young back then... but today it is inexcusable. If you want to stimulate the thinking process do not put grinding into it, but bring in enemies that you must face strategically (although some JRPGs do that mind you).

[@lightningshy5287]

First off the game is not completely linear. It may be a long ass wait, but about 25 hours in, the game completely opens up with a large variety of sidequests and monster hunt missions. Secondly, I know the story is very hard to understand at the first playthrough but I actually discovered that it actually makes plenty of sense when you think more about it, or if you just read up about it. What I mean is, I own a collector's edition of the game's strategy guide and in a section near the back of the book it explains about 90% of the things we didn't understand, and in the end I really came to like the story. Lastly I found the combat super fun, because it combined the tactical possibilities of a turn-based design with the dynamic flow and visual feel of an actual game, and while the auto-battle may make the game feel like it's playing itself, it doesn't mean you have to use it. You can go to the settings and set the cursor to always appear on the abilities option, and this actually makes the battles feel more strategic. Another reason the combat is good is because most of the game's strategy comes from how the player customizes their combinations (given if they don't use the auto-battle), how they customize their role combinations to use specific patterns of the party's AI behavior to their advantage, and how they customize their equipment. To be more specific about the equipment, is you can have a character equipped with a specific combination of accessories to gain what the game calls "synthesized abilities", which you can use as an advantage in battle. For example, combining 2 speed sashes can give you a synthesized ability called "Random:Instant chain", in which an enemy can instantly be staggered at any time (this synthesized ability can be useful for really tough enemies). Overall, Final Fantasy XIII was a great game in my opinion and I'm not afraid to admit this, but it's honestly my favorite game ever. I really wish you haters would quit the constant hate of this game that you simply get from it not fitting your taste of gaming, and because you were too impatient to sit through some linearity that actually promises some light at the end of the tunnel.

[@Nikke-nn5mn]

It has 3 small problems. Story, gameplay and levels.

[@hawkeyegough9090]

by some of the problems i assume you mean the characters reamained and still sucked selffucking arse

[@kelvinkegel2304]

I have easily 300+ hours on disgaea HOD, 280+ on FFXII, 210+ on FFX, and so on... Then I have 6 Hours on FFXIII...

[@MultiHydralisk]

Don Qco That feels like a trap a lot of developers have been faling into, doesn't it? :-(

[@DeadheadYates]

Kelvin Kegel Right?! I have like +150 into FF XII and close to 300 in Skyrim. Then for this think I got about as far as Yahtzee did and just kinda said fuck it.

[@kelvinkegel2304]

I know that feel.

[@kaycee1076]

DeadheadYates I literally got to about 4.5-5 hours in, had Sazh and Vanille in my party, Sazh got knocked out and I got my self ready to get Vanille to use a phoenix down but instead GAME OVER....I basically rage quit after that. I was already struggling with the corridors, the chests that were literally bobbing up and down screaming "I'm so well bloody hidden, you'll never find me LOL!", the jenky storytelling with the super repetitive exposition in the datalogs (you get told the same thing over and over and over again!) the annoying-as-hell characters (Why does Vanille act like a super-duper get and completely un-cute Rikku and why on earth does she have an Australian accent? I have no problem with the accent itself but doesn't it seem completely out of place? And don't get me started on Hope!) the completely lifeless combat system that gives the impression that the game itself thinks that you can't really be trusted to control the fight despite the fact that you completed FFXII so it should hide most of the combat mechanics away from you as well as leave you in control of a single character without the ability to actively switch out characters in the middle of the fight but then punish you for not doing well enough even if you finish the fight well within time (as well as the fact that it is possible to receive a no-star rating, because 1-star wasn't bad enough), and they kept separating everyone so you got lumped with 2 magic users while fighting enemies that are resistant to magic... Holy crap I just realised how irritatingly bad this game is...Thank god I only paid £5! P.S I tried to play this when I have 500+ hours in Skyrim, 200+ in FFXII and the like P.P.S AND FUCK PARADIGM SHIFTS!

[@rinkukitakato2833]

Favorite line: "Select Abilities, select Attack, select Target. Wait for 5 seconds for the character's brain to start working. Repeat." and "Shut up, I am." (rolling in laughter)

[@PopTartNeko]

FF6 still is the best FF for me. The simplicity makes it memorable. And even though the game has fourteen main characters, each one of them has a back story that is actually more interesting than all the characters in this game combined. Furthermore the game is only 16-bit, it is not even voiced, but the Maria and Draco opera scene still plays more spectacularly in my mind than any of the newer Final Fantasies can show me. FF6 has real artistic vitality. You don't get that anymore in the newer games, sadly... FF12 I kinda liked too. The story is a bit complex but I'm actually impressed by how well-written it is, with all the political intricacies, etc. It's a beautiful thing. It is also the most engaging FF gameplay-wise (in my opinion) and you can do hunts while exploring secret parts of world. If only 13 had retained the gameplay and the expansive open world maybe I would have found it at least playable. This game was just a disaster. In gameplay, in storytelling, in character creation. I wish it never existed.

[@alexanderstremler585]

My favorite shall forever remain FF5. but then again, it was the first one I played.

[@AlphaZeroX96]

FF13 has great characters

[@AlphaZeroX96]

***** Not joking. I don't get why weirdos hate them.

[@williamblazkowicz5587]

I just bought an ff game (it was cheap) and i want to know if it is any good .

[@williamblazkowicz5587]

XIV a realm reborn

[@osriccauldwyn]

5 hours? That's still only part of the tutorial lol.

[@kyonop3097]

just like the next 10 hours...

[@NeoSaturos123]

Yeah, seriously. It's obvious Yahtzee isn't a game critic, with how he decides to review an about 60 hour game after playing it for 5 hours. It would be like reviewing a 2 hour movie after watching it for about 10 minutes. I don't think the character were even L'Cie yet. He didn't even get to Paradigm Shifts, the meat of the game's gameplay and already called quits!

[@osriccauldwyn]

***** He is a critic. And "after 5 hours, the game still hadn't made me want to continue playing" is a valid critique, no matter how ridiculously long the game is.

[@kyonop3097]

^ actually right, there is no point in playing a 20 hour long tutorial, especially if you need to google fucking crafting to not shit your equipment up and start over again because you can't beat a boss.

[@Entropy3ko]

You know... if after 5 hours of gameplay the story has not drawn you in yet, that's just BAD game design. TES Morrowind was over 60 hours gameplay (certainly with the add ons) but drew you in very fast, practivally immediately. (yes some people might disagree, not everybody likes the same stuff). Now if people tell me "it gests good after 10 hours"... that's just BAD. It should be good from the START. The story should progress organically, keep you interested. Also "20 hours tutorials"? You can learn basic Quantum Mechanics in a 20 hours course. Although menus in JRPGs are quite cumbersome I am pretty sure you do not need 20 hours to explain it all. Ironicaly, with all their menues and tutorials JRPGs have more often than not less freedom and possibilities than their western counterparts.... JRPGs are most of the time just a big scavenger hunt... --- That said... Yahtzee could be more professional, but he does not care. He gets paid to ejaculate a 5 min vid each week (with 1 min annoying overly loud music) and now he has the Mana Bar. He has loads of fanboys so he could wipe his ass on the scree and still people would watch. In the end just watch the video for the comedic factor (although it's gone off a bit for a while now) and jusy play the games you enjoy. What I said above, for example, shows I do dislike Final Fantasy, but hey if you enjoy it, good for you. I love Morrowind and I am sure there is people who hate that game... that won't bother me :)

[@Jaceblue04]

Today he reviewed Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy 13. Holy shit, he reviewed 2 Final Fantasy games! How is the sky not falling, and why hasn't all the water in the world turned into blood? This is supposed to indicate the end of the world, or something.

[@ironwolg]

erm, i don't see that vid anywhere

[@Jaceblue04]

Perry Davis It's on The Escapist's website.

[@CERTAIND00M]

The end is only neigh when he actually enjoys a new Final Fantasy (just typing those last three words made me dumber. Fuck, I hate these games.)

[@beesbeesingtonvi614]

Joel Farrelly you do a fine impression of a horse.

[@CERTAIND00M]

Susan Shiebert It was kind of an obscure reference to the Luna game. If you haven't played it, you should totally check it out. I think you'd love it.

[@SyrinoxNight]

I beat FFXIII and I only cried tears of relief for six weeks.

[@timebomb4562]

my favourite lines of that review came towards the end of this video

[@Jordan-ni6yx]

What was it

[@lukahnapeirogon8197]

+timebomb456 WTF!!

[@SyntheticPineappl3]

I got the game, played 20 minutes of it and gave up. Several years later I tried again to dare myself to try it out... that lasted 1 hour. But before that, I actually completed Sonic the Hedgehog 2006. Yes, I find Final Fantasy XIII more dull and boring than Sonic 06.. because Sonic 06 was at least funny with how bad it is.

[@justincanu9153]

+Charles Rod got a bit further than yatzee did, maybe seven hours in and after realizing that I'm still in a fucking tutorial that doesn't look like it's about to stop anytime soon I gave up completely.

[@MrEntinen]

+Kupsy But KUPSYYYY, about 20 hours in when you reach grand pulse the game gets good! Why couldn't we start at Grand Pulse then? Shut up voice in my head!

[@MrEntinen]

That is the joke yes

[@EnforcerX71]

+Devan Hunt I bought the game on release (don't ask me why), played it for about an hour, put it down, didn't pick it up again for about 3 years, tried it again, this time getting about an hour into it, then I reached the aforementioned part with the Kooki girl and crybaby Hope, then just said "no more" and have since traded it in. Now I realize Final Fantasy games have never been quick out of the blocks, even popular ones like FF7 & FF6, but even they got going properly after maybe an hour, not fucking 20!.

[@selingermann5599]

True words of wisdom.

[@TotallyGoodatGames]

As someone who just played this game not yesterday and couldn't bear any more than 20 minutes, I can easily say that every word of this video is true.

[@jonah_da_mann]

The reason why I hated XIII is because IT GAVE ME NO REASON TO CARE. The first 20 hours of the game felt like a conversation that I had just walked in on halfway through. Why should I care about saving Cocoon when Cocoon is not fleshed out in any way as to incentivize me to do so? Why am I fighting off this evil authority and what exactly are they doing that makes them so "evil"? The motivations of both the heroes and the villains were never clear to me until at least halfway through the narrative, at which point I was thoroughly bored and frustrated because how can I be entertained when I am given no reason to be invested? (Yes, I know that there's a "grimoire" in the game that gradually explains things to you if you take the time to read it, but that is OBJECTIVELY bad storytelling for a visual medium. As Yahtzee said, you're supposed to write exposition into the pacing and narrative; not hand the audience a glossary when they walk into the theatre.) The whole narrative fell even further apart when I finally figured out what was going on however, as so much of the contrivances simply do not make sense when you start to think about them. Why is the Sanctum purging entire cities just to eliminate the few people who have become l'Cie when they could easily just round everyone up and identify them by the l'Cie brands on their bodies? Why does Lightning only use her Gravity manipulation powers twice in the entire game? Why are they even necessary when characters are repeatedly shown to be capable of surviving falls and crashes from incredible heights (except for Hope's mom, because reasons)? How does Sazh survive a supposed gunshot wound to the head? How is being permanently frozen in crystal stasis any better than being turned into a robot zombie? Why are Lightning and everyone else still trying to kill Barthandalus when in fact that's exactly what he wants in order to destroy Cocoon? I know that they needed to do so to save themselves from becoming C'ieth, but why didn't they plan ahead so as to ensure that Cocoon will be saved before going to killing Barthandalus? Why does the game never explicitly state that the Fal'Cie are only branding humans simply because they hate them and want them to suffer? Without the game bothering to simply say "because he's a dick", Barthandalus' plan comes across as thoroughly pointless and nonsensical. Don't get me wrong. I can see why some consider the story of XIII to be interesting, and there IS potential within it, but the execution is terrible in terms of pacing and most importantly, exposition. According to developer interviews, the game suffered from a troubled production with one of the main problems being the lack of a coherent vision, and it shows. Unlike say, FFVIII, FFXIII's story lacks a basic OVERARCHING premise for all of the more complicated details to REVOLVE AROUND. Because of this, my first impression of the game was thoroughly terrible, and I was not invested in the slightest. You have to know the entire story beforehand and play through the game a second time just to be able to enjoy it, which should never be the case with ANY medium.

[@bobmcbob49]

Lightning returns: they took his advice and changed the combat so you walk up to an enemy, press a button, and bonk them on the head

[@ForestofCicadas]

and this is why I'm still playing final fantasy ix

[@TheCyclicGamer]

While I would say FF9 definitely aged better than XIII, I still think some aspects of IX haven't really aged that well either.

[@moneymandate]

Only Square could see a series built on exploring fantasy worlds and go "We need to make this as linear as possible"

[@DarthJoshReturns]

What about XV? It wasn't very linear.

[@flaysoprano]

I guess I"ll just add my largely unwanted 2 cents into the comments section. I would say that Final-Fantasy is one of my favorite franchises and I've sunk countless hours into 3, 6, 7, and 10. What gets me about This one, however, is how it doesn't make me feel like it's something I'd legitimately want to invest in. I didn't (and couldn't) finish the game so I won't bash the story, but what any writing class creative or otherwise will tell you, is that a good story needs a hook. In the same 5 hour span, I had plenty of "Stuff is happening," It was almost as if the game was trying to tell me that it heard my cries for more action and loaded up the game full of it, but it forgot to answer the question of "Why should I care?" Sure, it looks nice and give it a few hours (or a whole 24 hour cycle rather) it'll probably weave a story any weeaboo would die to defend, but for the beginning "hook" of the game, I could stand in a collective puddle of the characters and wouldn't get my ankles wet. Sure their depth is built up over time, but I shouldn't have to stand in the rain for 20 hours just so I can have enough water to splash around in.

[@FALG31]

I just found out that Mana Bar closed some time ago. Bummer, I would've liked to visit it sometime if I traveled to Australia. And I'm pretty sure that Yahtzee liked having the bar too

[@red_cosplay]

3:30 *The RIng Terror's Realm squish noise*

[@LossOfEternal]

100 hours.... I beat this game after 100 hours of repetitive battles, non existent exploration and horrible storytelling, and no it doesn't get better 20 hours in. Hope is probably the worst character in any RPG i've ever played. And that's saying something considering Snow and Vanille are in this game too.

[@Rebellions]

Fans keep saying it gets better in 20 hours in, and I have found that to be true with ONE qualifier, one thing you absolutely have to do. Take a shot every time somebody says something stupid. It gets better because by hour 20 you should be dead by alcohol poisoning but at least you are released from playing this game.

[@22potter5]

Eternal Light I use my xbox comparison as "It gets better about a quarter the way through the third disc" which is not good. At all.

[@ShamblesTCG]

Eternal Light Hope isn't the worst, he at least has some character development that does make sense. What about Lightning? She behaves 99% of the game like a certain type of person no one likes, only to change because why not?

[@oceanman_8370]

You poor bastard

[@loren5432]

I thought the combat was fine. What I didn't need is 20 fucking hours of "tutorials" before being able to control all the characters at will. I'm not stupid, just throw me into a random battle and I'll be able to figure the mechanics myself instead of holding my hand as if I were an idiot Jesus Christ. Also, as Yathzee said, the story is garbage which didn't really help. I didn't bother reading the glossary because that's not how storytelling works, and only by Ch 10 I was able to have a basic idea of what was going on and what certain terms meant.

[@VarynDEE33t]

FFXIII is seriously the most beautiful looking, cinematically pleasing Final Fantasy game, and the music choice is very good. And that's about it

[@Veladus]

Considering Uematsu did the music for the overwhelming majority of the series, the music of 13 is absolute shit by comparison.

[@OaksCU1]

1:10-1:16 my favourite Zero Punctuation analogy!

[@Shadowslash1]

"I'm an unbiased critic" I trusted you Yahtzee.... how could you lie to me QQ

[@arendvandermerwe3309]

KZbin asked me to rait this video, so i gave it 5 stars and called it life changing

[@pingu090]

Are you sure it's the final?

[@caitevoir]

faith bartlett Don't you know? It'll never end.

[@Nereda715]

faith bartlett People hated it because it wasn't the final lmfao

[@rocksteel9238]

+faith bartlett (faithalicous) Don't worry they will never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever make another one

[@ILuvSmexyShowgirls]

+Rock Steel It's Squeenix. They'll FIND A REASON TOO!

[@MrWoulfman1024]

And now I want to go and play this game again...

[@lazyDude77]

5 hours? Still more than what I played.

[@felipesangiovani5299]

I liked mana bar. Had a beer there.

[@Thesaurus_Rex]

Usually there's some subtlety or a joke in the end credits animation. Nope. Just Yahtzee murdering Vanille. Not that she doesn't deserve it.

[@kasonr.3624]

Those little drawings at the end amused me way too goddamn much.

[@Avirx]

Only the 360 version is on three disks.

[@1toncheese]

and the pc version is 60gb........ because it requires all the dialoque from every language and cut scenes for them too regardless of which language you get it in initially.

[@hanacodaiko]

1toncheese I got the PC DVD Double Pack Version with FF13-2 on..... one(!) DVD....for a 90 gb game. They could have easily put a troll-face next to the note "Requires downloading of additional game data". ^_^

[@femoman]

If you want an examle of a game that tells a good story AND provides extra info via datalogs if you want to know more, look at Mass Effect. If you want an example of a game that tells an incomprehensible horribly written story, and requires reading the datalogs to understand what the fuck is going on, then look no further than Final Fantasy. Seriously, play without the datalogs and you'll be left wondering things like what's a Fal'cie? What's a L'cie? What are Gran Pulse and Cocoon, and where are they in relation to eachother? What is Ragnarok? What are Eidolons? Why does one character have a baby chocobo living in his hair? Why do the Fal'cie give the Focus to the L'cie in the form of vague hazy mental images that could mean anything, when later in the game it's established that the Fal'cie can speak English? Why do the characters constantly go on about ignoring their predestined fate, and then do exactly what their predestined fate is?

[@Zelkiiro]

To be fair, only Final Fantasy XIII has the problem with requiring you to read extraneous text to understand what's going on. We understood what was going on in every other Final Fantasy because THEY WEREN'T SO ASTONISHINGLY WEDGED IN THEIR OWN ASSES. Final Fantasy II/IV/IX was easy to understand because the story was simple and made sense. Final Fantasy VI/X/XII was easy to understand because we had an Audience Substitute character to whom the story could be explained. Final Fantasy VIII is probably the closest entry in the series to XIII with unexplained claptrap, but at least the unexplained claptrap was intuitive--a Garden is clearly a military academy because we're in one, a GF is clearly a summon monster because we fight one, etc.

[@justincanu9153]

I really had no problem following the plot in XIII without having to read the datalogs, really didn't change the fact that of the ten or so hours of tutorial I played before giving up the plot was still rather weaksauce especially since the whole thing really smacked of recycled plot elements in the laziest of ways which honestly seems like an accomplishment for a Final Fantasy game.

[@SadButter]

Yahtzee is like the Gordon Ramsey equivalent for videogames.

[@Kirbychu1]

3:22 Fave part

[@jonathanwestern2306]

KZbin algorithm bringing this gem back to me ❤️

[@mat2000100]

Nonsensical Storylines, same old characters (Lightning is Cloud strife rehash), general dislike from fans? Is vince russo writing this?

[@Veladus]

Lightning is a Squall rehash. Cloud was just pretending to be an unlikable stoic warrior stereotype unlikable douchebag. When he becomes himself later in the game and stops trying to mimic his memory of Zack, he's a dork who says thinks like "mosey." Squall actually IS that douchebag, and so is Lightning.

[@I_am_ENSanity]

God I hated this game.....

[@changvasejarik62]

Captain Rave Slendy a lot of people did, i mean it was so bad you can buy it in a pharmacy along with the tycoon games, licensed games, and generic stuff.

[@AmorAmarillo09]

Zettabeam62 at least it better than ff10, only because i looks better. I KNOW, I KNOW: ff10 is form 2001 but why do i prefer the grafics of the ps1 ff instead? also, i really hated tree sphere in ff10 because at the end everyone was the fucking same thing! u dont need overdrive when u can spam a max damage quick attack and still win because there are no attacks that deal max damage to a max def character.... aaand the menus in ff10 are the worst -.- AND it was extremily annoying to get most of the secret weapons. also the story was stupid. (i can add more complaints) long story short: if a game is better than the other just because of the grafics it means both games sucks.

[@Solox21x]

Pedro Lisandro Caballero What?

[@changvasejarik62]

Pedro Lisandro Caballero the?

[@Solox21x]

Pedro Lisandro Caballero hell?

[@Awsomeness103]

Wow his alternative to the combat system in hour 3 perfectly described Kingdom Hearts

[@RobCrowley85]

I like how you complicated that and kept it simple at the same time. You get ten mindbend points. Spend them as you wish.

[@EasleyAmused]

How about Final Fantasy XII? I know it's a little lacking in some parts but every JRPG fan bitches about the combat system whereas I loved it. It's less menu selecting, though you'll still hate waiting to do actions. Also, there's no seperate-dimension-battle-bubble.

[@Veladus]

I LOVED it, but then again I'm an MMORPG lover with fond memories of grinding nonstop in EverQuest. That's probably the biggest legit gripe, because so many things require grinding to get. The biggest non-legit gripe is the optional gambit system because retarded retards with severe mental retardation think that pressing "Fight" every time they want their character to swing a weapon is what gaming is all about and they can't comprehend what "optional" is. The story is great, too. One of the best FF's storywise, easily. The only real plot/story issues are that Vaan and Penelo are worthless bullshit add-ons because SE wouldn't let a girl (Ashe, the REAL main character) or a guy past puberty (Basch, the originally intended main character) to be the main character. So they threw in this idiot pickpocket/rat hunter that has no relevance at all and made him the lead. And then his dipshit friend, who has LESS than no relevance, because they needed something equally as awful to compete with Vaan's fetish for showing his armpits to the world. Fortunately the other characters make up for how much Vaan and Penelo suck shit.

[@packapunch14]

I adored this game, and nothing this wonderful man can say will change my mind

[@neos1234125]

OMG I had no idea he founded Mana Bar.

[@ctrcocomykitty]

"Banging Cocoanuts together." Nice Monty Python Reference.

[@kynaston1474]

Whew, dodged that bullet. I almost bought this one. :P

[@kenhall8092]

+Adam Bodford Whew, me too! Always check out the reviews is my motto...that and Never , ever, anything!

[@Setsotama]

its actually worse than what he's saying, i should.know, watched my lil brother play this and it was a diarrhea feast

[@zetriaxofficial]

I'm an avid Final Fantasy fan to be sure, but that was FUCKING HILARIOUS!

[@Toffsimus]

Completely agree with the challenge, bloody hell that level with the turtle thing that changed elements and stuff took me so friggen long to get through, and that was after I grinded both Hope and Lightning up to as high a level as possible at the time with the best weapons I could afford.

[@timlaffin6758]

I still think final fantasy dawn of souls (ff 1 and 2 remade into one game for the gameboy advanced) was the best of any FF games iv ever played. Although FF7 will always hold a place in my heart but thats just because it was my first RPG on the playstation, and i was a little kid at the time.

[@NegitoroIsBestShip]

Final fantasy 13 was on 3 discs on the 360? Wow that is laughably behind the times.

[@DarthJoshReturns]

That's hardly new with the 360. Blue Dragon was mutli-disc too.

[@leon30517]

Am i the only one who liked this game? like seriously Saz is just my favorite character EVER like a chocobo living in his afro? BOOM INSTA LIKE

[@DrakeyC]

I didn't find that, I just saw the Auto-Battle button as pressing the Attack command in a normal FF game, it just does the command several times. I actually found the battle system challenging and fast-paced, had to keep changing Paradigms to react to enemy behavior and assign my roles with each party member's strengths in mind.

[@physe8052]

2:06 "In medias res. In medias res is Latin for "into the middle of things." It usually describes a narrative that begins, not at the beginning of a story, but somewhere in the middle - usually at some crucial point in the action." - andromeda.rutgers.edu/~jlynch/Terms/inmediasres.html

[@OG_SayMoreHomie]

Honestly, I really loved FFXII but I agree that it took waaaaaaaay too long to get fun. The intro lasted for at least 20 -25 hrs in my first playthrough then the game finally gives you the reigns when you finally make it to Pulse. Up until then, and even right at the end of the game, its all just hallways.

[@Katurodrake]

How is the game really? Give me a PM on my channel if you like. I'd like to know honestly.

[@mrsubject1]

I have no idea how a game can keep someone giving a shit with a 20 to 25 hour long intro that's boring as fuck

[@deltasceptile7805]

"You might call that unprofessional. I call it efficiency."

[@darkhorse744]

(Puts up flame shield). I LOVE FINAL FANTASY!

[@user-vu7me6ix1f]

You alter my vision apon things so easily, it's like my mind is made out of microwaved play-doh.

[@sobosswagner]

If I have to wait 20 hours for a game to get good ill just play something else like raging blast 2 where I can boot the system up and in 3 minutes be kicking the shit out of Vegeta.

[@22potter5]

God I miss FF12. That was my favorite. No alternate dimension monster fights. They happen right there and yes there is turn based stuff but I'd like to think that it's better than this. Open world was a must for any Final Fantasy game and the only reason I played it as much as I did was because my little brother wouldn't stop asking me to keep going because he liked something about it.

[@yubos98]

Disclaimer: I'm not trolling, nor hating on FF or JRPGs in general, just sharing thoughts and emotions, wanting to get some kind of advice. +22potter5 I know I am a bit too late here, but for last 3 months I was trying to find a title that will introduce me to JRPGs and make me familliar with the genre. I decided to go with FF(because, well, it's the first thing that comes to mind when anyone says "JRPG"). I tried X and XII, played X for 2 hours, got bored of artstyle and silly(in my opinion) plot that seemed like a bad teenager TV-series. I decided to try out XII, I lasted for 6 hours. The game looked like a charm - artsyle, character design, graphics were fantastic, but the gameplay and the plot...meh, I don't get it. That real-time combat system was not fun at all and very inconvinient and the plot seemed like a mess, I mean WTF is happening and why all the characters are so flat!? I really wanted to give that game a chance, because I loved how it looked, but after 6 hours I simply got sick of it...literally, I felt sick because of the game. Last time it happened to me when I played Bulletstorm for unknown reason, because I really had fun with that game... Now I wanted to play FFXIII, because on Steam people mostly say "It's a great game, awesome adventure, I spent over 9000 hours in it", but people on the net are very angry on the game. So what should I do? I really want to introduce myself to JRPGs, but I don't know what to start with. Is there a game that is not horribly old(like FFIV or something), good for novices in the genre, is released on PC(or can be emulated on PC) and most likely will not get me bored after a few hours because of it's gameplay or flat characters? P.S. I was looking at Tales of Zestiria, it was released a week ago for PC, so I thought I might give it a try, what do you think about it?

[@yubos98]

+Vic 2.0 Thanks for a reply, when I said that characters in FFXII were flat I meant they don't really seem to have a good written personality, they look kinda awesome(except Vaan, wich is weird, but it's IMHO), but they didn't drag me in, I mean I wasn't excited for any of the characters, only Balthier and Vayne(GOD DAT HAIRCUT LOOKS AMAZING, although it's a cliche for japanese animes/mangas and JRPGs) looked really badass and the only good thing about Fran was her butt... I'm not against cliches like "chosen is gonna save the world and he doesn't know he is chosen until some moment"(and it seems they use it in every other FF since 1987) or "villain who seems rather friendly in the beginning, although you can clearly see he's a twat but nobody really sees that except for you - viewer/player". I'm fine with that, I just want characters to have charsima and good motivation for their actions+good gameplay with different mechanics and not grindy(yeah, I forgot to mention that, I'm against grinding lvl1 mobs to get the plot moving). Actually I got my hands on Tales Of Zestiria last night and it is pretty good so far, I played till 5:00 am and was late for the work XD The only problem with the game I have is rather technical - it doesn't want to see my gamepad in Xinput mode, it only sees it in Dinput and it's a mess really, thank god the game has awesome controls for mouse and keyboard. I don't know yet if I will like this game from start to finish but now it seems rather good with nice artstyle, good optimization and the intro is amazing, reminds me a lot of Shaman King. P.S. If you can name any JRPGs that I may like, please advice them to me, I'll be thankful for it.

[@VanguardFencer]

Can't believe I completely missed this episode of ZP all this time.

[@Slaveofdawolves]

Well, in Vanille's defense, she is technically from Gran Pulse which to the inhabitants of Cocoon is like an alien planet even though they're practically holding hands.

[@kangourouuu1]

I must say, I liked this game. Not for the characters, because, really, the main ones were pretty annoying. A bit for the story, that actually does get better after 20 hours (which is way too long, even compared to most JRPGs). For the gameplay (that also gets interesting after 20 hours, at chapter 11, also way too long^^). And a lot for the universe (that actually is mostly developped in the menus, which is a shitty idea that didn't bother me because I'm one of those maniacs that loves background and trivias so much I eat those logs). Yeah, FFXIII wasn't designed with the greatest of thoughts, but it's still enjoyable for a RPG player. BUT, I must say, even if I like this game, and even if I always felt it gets too much hate (mostly inherited from the hate people expressed months before the launch of the game) for what it is (a good ol' 7 out of 10 JRPG), this review was good. Not in it's judgemental dimension, because the Escapist is clearly against RPGs, JRPGs, turn-based combat, and pretty much everything that makes this game, and it sure did influenced his opinion. But because it points actual problems of the game without making them look bigger than they actually are (unlike most reviews of the game do), because it shows good humor, and because it's assumed as an exagerated opinion in the first place. The fact that people who didn't play FFXIII don't understand that last point being the only critic against this video, because it sure makes them jump in the hate wagon without any measure of what they are blindly reapeting around the Internet.

[@Fuckoffgoogle25]

I have to ask, why do you play games that are mediocre? Why not just play good games? Have you played them all?

[@kangourouuu1]

cspj12 Because I'm not stupid enough to only see the bad in games I play when people consider it "normal" to hate them. Because for every game I touch, I not only try to find what's bad, but also what's good in it (yeah, I know, for most people like you, it's a concept that's difficult to grasp when talking about Final Fantasy, but it's true !). I do that to be sure that "points", "arguments" that people are giving me aren't stupid bullshit made up to please fanboys (like FFVII fanboys for example). And, suprisingly enough, I find that a good chunk of the recent FFs aren't actually "mediocre". Or, if they are, older FFs were also, because most of the "arguments" given to me are mostly appliable to older FFs as well. As for your second question : no, I didn't played all FFs. I skipped the whole "Crystal Chronicles" series, All the Bravest, Theathrythm and 4 Heroes of Light. Besides that, I think I've finished most of them. Now, I want to ask you something. See, when I play games, when I discuss about games, when I live for gaming, I do it to have fun. If a game is awesome, I play the shit out of it. If it's ok, I still enjoy it. Hell, it's ok. If there is little to salvage, why not taking little sessions on the sections that are actually fun. If a show criticizes games I like (like this show, about a lot of games it "reviewed"), but does it in a funny way, I'm all in. And if someone says a game that I despise is great, well, good for him, he's having fun (but don't dare trying to make me play it again !^^). What I don't understand about you is why you try to "destroy" fun. Why you just wander the Internet to prove people that what you don't like (or what you don't know perhaps ?) *must* be mediocre because you decided it, or because people you worship did. Recently, I've seen a guy, on a review of The Order 1886 saying that he found the game fun, and being insulted for that until he was like "guess I actually didn't have fun". That's the saddest thing in the world. So, that's my first question : what do you gain by hating on random strangers ? What is it useful for ? The second thing I wonder is : how do you decide that a game is mediocre or good ? See, I can understand that you can play the game and put a bunch of arguments about your opinion, but that's still only your opinion. The guy that loves Ride to Hell Retribution has, in theory, as much as an important opinion than yours. But you could say that a game is good if most people liked it, and mediocre if most people hated it. But, by doing that... FFXIII would be the 4th better FF of them all (by sales) and worth a good 7,5-8/10 (by Metacritics, that is a broken system, I know^^). And also, you would say by that that FFVII is actually shit compared to LoL or, even weirder : CoD, that, despite what people say about it, is still one of the best selling game every year. But, even when sticking to your opinion alone, you should probably ask yourself if it's not yours and the one from your community that is problematic. Because, most of the time (and there is no exception regarding people that it concerns), nostalgia is what twists our perception. Most of the games we played as kids/teenagers seem to us as matchless gems (even the shit ones) when they actually clearly aren't. Often enough, I find myself thinking "wow, slow down, try to stay objective" when I realize that I'm not liking a new game in an old franchise and that I start giving arguments that are totally appliable to those I loved. And, it is a fact, the generation of FFVII fanboys that were kids when it came out is the one running the big KZbin channels and the big gaming news sites nowadays (along with some fossiles that are the FFVI fanboys). And it's only recently that FFX fanboys started doing the same with the same passion for hating the new games in the franchise. And I don't think most of them are "decent expert" because they are mostly flawed the same way we are because of nostalgia. Yes, I ramble a lot. If you want, here's a : *tl;dr* : What do you gain by hating games/people ? What makes your opinion "the good one" ? You're not gonna make me rage. I wanna spread love on the Internet.^^

[@Fuckoffgoogle25]

kangourouuu1 I wasn't really hating, maybe you are a bit oversensitive? You admit that your judgement is skewed by nostalgia. I'm just wondering why. It seems like there are plenty of great games to play. It's not a personal judgement about you... I'm just curious about taste. Why people choose to listen to, watch, play things that seem poorly developed compared to other things. Also it kind of annoys me that there are such poor standards for rpg combat and having the slightest change is always praised as innovation among jrpgs. Whereas there are actually innovative games like Divinity: Original Sin that I wish people would learn from. Again not a judgement against you personally, just curious about the supply and demand of quality in the gaming industry.

[@kangourouuu1]

cspj12 Well, I was actually hinting that *you* may be subject to nostalgia on this topic. Considering FFXIII has come *after* most of the other games in the series and that I'm not the one critisizing it. But then, you praised innovation, so I guess you're not that of a retrograde, and probably more like someone who doesn't like FF as a whole than a FFVI/FFVII fanboy (if you're neither of them, you will have to strongly clarify your position, because I don't really see any alternative considering what you're saying about FFXIII^^). Still, that doesn't prevent you to being also subject to nostalgia. Pointing that back to me don't change anything about that.^^ As for innovation, this game isn't really innovative compared to Divinity, that's for sure. But compared to JRPGs (which is a market where the main vocal fanbase is composed of retrograde people), that was still a risk. Compare the differences between PSone FFs and PS2 FFs, then with 7th console gen FFs, and see the amount of hate they are getting. It's somehow correlated. Now compare any Dragon Quest games, any Tales of games, any Harvest Moon games even. Less change, less backlash. That's why a so little change in gameplay from one JRPG to another is such a huge deal. Hell, the demo of FFXV that just came out a few days ago. I've seen loads of people praising it (as a demo, still^^). But a bunch of FFVII fanboys I know were searching for any little bit to critisize negatively (as of right now, they just said "potions are shit" then got to bitch about really fuzzy stuff ; they aren't trying that hard I guess^^ ; but still concluded that the game will be shit^^). And now, about the "poor quality" of JRPGs. Well. I guess I'll just say what it actually is (according to me). People who play JRPGs have, like every gamer, different focuses compared to other genres. While people who play MOBAs seek for good teamwork, people who play voxel based seek for creativity, people who play The Sims seek for stupid humor or people who play Dark Souls or Unfair Mario seek for difficulty and intended bad game design, JRPGs players often play for (1) a story somewhat simple to follow, (2) some form of weird japanese ideas, (3) interesting music (I find WRPGs' more discreet, ambiant, and often more cliché movie-like than cliché game-like), and, mostly, (4) the world design. About that last point, I must explain a bit more. While, in most WRPGs, the world design is great (people, races, history, organizations, geography) but often limited to a determined pattern (medieval, medieval with magic, post-apo, etc.), JRPGs world design ingame is... more indepths (?) with, added to the previous, massive cultural informations, more weird characters, enemies, places, more diversity in a single universe, etc. While it's often less interactive, it's still often more detailed (at least, the ones I played). In that sense, they are far from poorly developped. And so, a basic JRPG player don't really search for the best and the more innovative combats (hell, most people don't seem to crave for innovation, c.f. the Game Theory about that), but I think they seek for story, character developement, unfolding the world and its secrets, in hope to find something interesting story-wise. At least, that's how I'm interested in them. As for the people that only play for gameplay... I guess not-to-hard games can be relaxing sometimes ?^^ Well, that's it for taste. Since you were curious about it. (But please, don't say you're "curious about taste" when you are claiming from the beginning that you find it shit. That don't really goes together. I think.^^) And finally, as for my reaction, I'm not really oversensitive. I'm used to the Internet and, so, used to morons that scream nonsense regardless of what you say to them. I was just expecting you to be one of them. Sometimes it's pleasant to be mistaken.^^

[@Fuckoffgoogle25]

kangourouuu1 I'm not really a fan of FF although I can see how it would have seemed cool 20 years ago just by its complexity and length. What game theory are you talking about though? I'm curious about taste *because* I find it amazing that people are still interested in the genre that hasn't changed at all in 20 years. Whether or not that in itself is shitty, well idk it just seems like a waste to me. It's just annoying that they can't have a good story and good combat. I've been playing radiant historia, which is very "innovative" by jrpg standards, because the very slight innovation of a 3x3 combat grid, but really I would *love* to have that story in a game that has great combat like dark souls or D:OS. But maybe I'll just have to wait another 10 years for that. Oh well.

[@christopherkeehn9962]

I quite like the final fantasy series.

[@hall9111]

I did too until it became apparent that the Final Fantasy series doesn't like its players.

[@Chichichua]

hall9111 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[@andrewhowie6563]

Sazh is pretty awesome from the get-go actually. He has a detailed backstory that gradually comes to light about his son Dajh being taken into custody, him losing all hope, and then ultimately regaining a sense of purpose...

[@Doughboy123x]

I can faintly hear crickets in the background.

[@captainkarnage9874]

TO EVERY BODY BITCHING ABOUT THIS GAME JUST REMEMBER FINAL FANTASY: ALL THE BRAVEST

[@LaydiNite]

Because it can always get worse.

[@captainkarnage9874]

***** it's the same thing as tapping your phone screen

[@iriasu1667]

The one thing that games shouldn't do is bored you. Tried playing this game and nothing engage me. Neither story or gameplay.

[@sheepphic]

I like the subtle monty python reference at the end of Hour 1, especially since most Monty Python references are about as subtle as a cheese grater on raw skin.

[@DesertCavalier]

Anyone else notice? Yahtzee's calendar picture was (I think) "Jaaaaaaames Sunderland!"

[@lostn65]

i have trouble getting into this game. Can't play more than an hour before getting bored. Everyone who likes it tells me, stick with it, it gets really good after 25 hours. 25 hours? I can't even get past the first hour, how am I going to make it to 25? If a game needs that many hours to get good, it lost its opportunity.

[@Legendaryknight2]

4:25 - he just said my thoughts about one piece!

[@omarct]

The beginning of one piece is not bad. People just tend to judge things by first impressions. This is why people say it gets better later, of course it does get better, but in reality is not that it got so much better but that you got comfortable with it and no longer judge it by whatever preconceived impressions you had.

[@Legendaryknight2]

It bored me a lot, i saw absolutely no fun on it. I don't believe in "it gets better" in mangas because while it actually may happen, this means it passed months, (in one piece case, people say it gets better after 100 chapters), this means 2 years of publishing material.

[@omarct]

***** Did you even read my comment? You just repeated yourself. A better response would had been "I didnt enjoy the few episodes I watched and feel no reason to keep watching in hopes that I get comfortable with the show" to which I would had replied "That's fine by me and I lose nothing by you not watching it, but in all truth I feel like you are missing out and would enjoy the show if you could get pass your initial disgust, which I am only guessing comes from either the different artsyle or the seemingly shallow/childish plot". Good conversation, lets do this again.

[@Legendaryknight2]

I did, there was simply no need for a new argument. And by confort or "get pass your initial disgust" I read as "lower your standards", something I'm not going to do.

[@omarct]

***** That's fine. Good luck losing your virginity.

[@SapphireCrusader1988]

This and The Spoony One's review of this game are classics!

[@hellsingfan89]

How much force are you willing to use?

[@Italianchef26]

I played it, it was fun and I really don't understand the hate against this game. Like seriously, someone explain me please?

[@usul573]

I could probably write up a complex essay arguing for and against virtually everything in this game.

[@Italianchef26]

I seriously don't know why, but this answer is making me laugh like an idiot

[@3xchrisx3]

Dario Ferretti ff13 is filled to the brim with plot holes, awful voice acting, bad cheesy writing and horrible slow paced story telling. i'll be honest i didn't finish the game. the same as many other people i got about six plus hours in(more then most) and realized that i was basically forcing myself to keep playing. however earlier this year i though,"i wonder if i'm missing out on a truly great story". so i watched the "movies" on youtube. they're awful, so bad that i barely even laughed. and the ending was complete bullshit but i won't spoil it for you if you haven't played the third or watched the ending on youtube.

[@Italianchef26]

3xchrisx3 I can't remember any plot holes right now but that's probably due to the fact that I played a long time ago. Well the writing and voice acting wasn't top notch but really now, it's a FF game, of corse it's gonna have cheesy dialogue and stupid one-liners from the bad guys/heroes. As for the slow paced storyline I totally agree. It takes a bit too much for the team to gather and for the story to properly begin. About the ending I don't know which one you're talking about: is it FFXIII or Lightning Returns? Story-wise I didn't like too much the last game but I loved the ending with the whole "the new world is our Earth and this is how it was created" since it's the first time I've ever seen a 'normal' world with everyday cars and trains and stuff in a FF game. However I gues that in this case I'm the oddball since I realize how hard is to like those games. Well I always tought that each FF was a different game because it was intended for a different audience everytime, so there's that I guess...

[@usul573]

3xchrisx3 If you don't get it, you don't get it.

[@ENCHANTMEN_]

Do any of the Final Fantasy games actually have any role playing in them? As far as I can tell, they have less role-playing than Pokemon.

[@randomnerd23]

In terms of choices that affect the plot or side quests. No. In terms of choice in how you play, the first, third, fifth game had a class system and the twelth system had the license system.

[@ENCHANTMEN_]

randomnerd23 So then how is it an RPG? :)

[@randomnerd23]

RPG is being thrown around so much that the definition has become quite muddled. The games I mentioned having some roleplaying elements is on the same level as pokemon (such as black mages focus on magic damage, weak as hell for regular attack damage, use magic element that causes most damage to specific types of enemies)

[@ENCHANTMEN_]

+randomnerd23 That's just gameplay, not roleplaying. Pokemon, for example, doesn't have any roleplaying.

[@randomnerd23]

If we put it in that sense. No, there is no roleplaying, much like most jrpgs.

[@Szadek23]

No I said sometimes you need certain party setup,that would be the late game bosses. The other unfair bosses are esper,because after the scanning and figuring out the best tactic there often is not enough time left and you have to restart. The other few bosses I can rember were somewhat decent.

[@MrValsion]

Same goes for me. A friend of mine recommended it to me, so I got it used recently. So far I love it and find the review funny, if a little unfair.

[@Valiordruid]

2:11 As a writer, this segment makes me piss myself laughing.

[@splintercell320]

I don't care what anyone says I loved final fantasy XIII. Story was great, characters were great, well except hope. Battle system wasn't as bad as people made it out to be. Linear gameplay doesn't bother me as long as story, battle system, and characters are great. Soundtrack and graphics were outstanding so that was a bonus. Idk I guess people have different taste. I tried playing final fantasy VII and got bored 10 minutes in. Only other final fantasy game I liked was X.

[@frostnova2144]

I agree, whereas I loved the battle system, it took the turn-based combat and made it into something real-time; every decision you made at each moment either brang you closer to failure or success, sure there was auto-battle but if you played deep enough into the game you would never be able to get by on just that. Final fantasy XIII is one of my fav games of all time, it has it's flaws sure, but it's become one of those things that's cool to hate on.

[@MCHellshit]

The battle system was the only fun thing about this game. The story was incomprehensible and unengaging, and worst of all for me, the soundtrack was almost completley forgettable (except for Blinded by Light, obviously).

[@kyonop3097]

you are pretty much right, i was bored with ff 7 all along and actually rushed it so i could finally stopped that crap. i didnt enjoy the linearity of ff 13, also the battle system was a bit off. i wished it was more like final fantasy 7 crisis core, like REAL TIME and not input 3-4 things and press Ok.. but the battle system really was the best thing of the game

[@frostnova2144]

***** Oh my god. People like different things, end of story.

[@MCHellshit]

Frost Nova FF13 was objectivley shit

[@creamncheese7761]

The game is good, well... The second time around... You have to wait till the end to see the plot as a whole. Its just one of those games that has a big backstory that is edged to the consumer bit by bit. People say it gets good at 20 hours in. But honestly, it's at hour 9 the the story becomes understandable and relatable. Vannile is actually the most precise part of the plot and is going through the most mental trauma. Hope looses his mom and has a big resentment against his father, only till he is reunited with him does he realize how much his father cares for him. Snow... Ok, he actually isnt relevent until "Lightning Returns"... Sazh has lost his son and comes close to the point of suicide. Lightning lost her sister and is trying to hide that she cares or that she is hurt by the event (This becomes more understandable after playing Lightning Returns as well). I still dont see why this game gets so much hate. Story is the main part of Final Fantasy. And dont give me the "linear" or "corridor" crap. Most Final Fantasies are Linear and have a set route that you must go to move on. The battle system is the same as its predecessors (with an exception to XII AND XI). The only difference is there is an auto battle button. SO? All other Final Fantasies are constantly mashing the X button... Its ridiculous that this game gets hate for not doing anything unnatural in the series...

[@icarue993]

So for a game to be good (specially for Yahtzee) it's gameplay has to be on the very least ok. And the ironic part is that, for me, battle was ok... just not in XIII. I played XIII-2 and managed to not only finish it, but complete it. But I couldnt even do 30 hrs of the base game. I will blame the switching protagonists and the linear levels than 2 and 3 (Lightining returns) dont have iirc. I enjoyed the story of XIII, bt do you know how I enjoyed it the best? In the XIII-2 recap!

[@fsffda]

mana bar, located on 420 Brunswick!

[@futurestoryteller]

You really think FF7 was MORE about spectacle than substance? You're not that interested in the quest for substance then. 'What, they've got hair like a Jpop star, oh GOD this game has nothing to say about the world!' Sure...

[@DenOfVipers]

hehe, listen to you.

[@futurestoryteller]

Dennis Crosby Least I said something...

[@declandarcy2559]

Assumptions, the review is on 13, not 7, silly.

[@HosakaKeitarou]

Declan D'Arcy It is, but he made that statement while the image of FF7 was onscreen sooo

[@mrsubject1]

So you jumped to conclusions becuase you thought the big nasty critic was taking a bite at your childhood spurge fest? Grow up

[@redheadrusskie]

I love this game.

[@Hal_142]

I love this guys analogies

[@sethporter3145]

This review is a work of art.

[@Xfushion2]

The real shocking fact is how this crappy boring ass game managed to spawn two sequels.

[@changvasejarik62]

+Xfushion2 No. The REAL shocking fact is how this game this crappy boring ass game you can buy in pharmacys along with tycoon and licensed games managed to spawn two sequels AND scored a 120/100. p.s. it's been over 8 months(maybe longer) and as of 10/13/15 the game is still on the shelf at my pharmacy.

[@PhoenixFireZero]

+laz kar You spelled 'Cloud' wrong.

[@PhoenixFireZero]

laz kar Advent Children!Cloud, let me clarify.

[@PhoenixFireZero]

Hardly a Gary Stu, but an angsty lump of emo.

[@Xfushion2]

Lol Lightning is not even a good character, even By Square standars. Cloud, well he had a little thing called development, the did interesting things with him, from thinking he was a completely different person (Zack) to become his real self and lead avalanche to destroy Sephiroth. Lightning has no personality whatsoever, she barely develops and has no emotion, hell in Lighting returns one of the main selling points was that you could dress her like a freaking barbie doll, so ok let's not give her any personality but put her in a fucking bikini while she saves the world. Or you know just put her in the Cloud outfit or the Lara Croft one to make her resemble other actual characters.

[@apollinarian]

FFXII was a step in the right direction, while FFXIII was created by choosing the worst gameplay elements in existence. Honestly the only things I agree with in FFXIII are the visual design choices (landscapes/areas) and the music. Everything else could have gone better. The music is nice, but the story, the combat, the characters... well, I gotta admit I like a few of them (lmao I just remembered what my icon is) because I don't really mind the extreme/token personalities of JRPGs. Anyway, the game is a mess. FFXIII-2 was the slightest bit better. Even though it dealt with time travel, the story was incredibly less complex than FFXIII's. Lastly, Lightning Returns is waifu simulator and sidequest nation. Eugh.

[@omarct]

I am sorry but besides the immersive gameplay, FF12 was basically the prequel of FF13.

[@apollinarian]

omarct what how You mean in terms of gameplay, yeah? Not story?

[@omarct]

The MLG Hope Estheim I mean in terms of characters and story. They were both lackluster in my opinion. In fact in favor of FF13 I actually finished it(prob bc it was so easy), while I only made it halfway through 12. Sadly I dont even remember the names of the characters or what the story was even about as I only played it once and everything seemed so forgettable and uninteresting. P.S. FF13 combat was way better than 13-2. 13-2 added practically nothing and limited your selection of paradigms by only letting you have 3 monsters instead of 6, not only that but maxing your characters in 13 was actually interesting/fun by taking down powerful Long Guis instead of just grinding weak mobs in arch steps rainmarsh.

[@apollinarian]

omarct So it's not that you see FF12 as a prequel, it's that you think they're similar (or that FF12 was an omen lol). FF13 was definitely more memorable (in terms of characters and environments) than FF12, but I feel the battle mechanics in FF12 were more involved and fun to play around with. The main problem with FF12's cast is that Vaan, the assumed main character, is totally a supporting character lmao. Ashe was the real focus of the plot line. The problem with FF13's cast are just the generic JRPG/anime personalities. In terms of plot line, both have horribly confusing political drama going on, but FF12 is actually somewhat understandable. I still have no idea what was happening with the government and w/e in FF13 (or maybe i'm an idiot). And I see your point about 13-2... it _was_ worse in that aspect :/

[@omarct]

The MLG Hope Estheim I am surprised you understood what I meant. But yes that was my point I feel like the people in charge of FF story, scenarios, and characters have just been going downhill since 10. There is no creativity, no trying to make the player emotionally involved in the story. I think maybe they need someone who understand human emotions so they can actually find ways to get us involved and trick us into caring about these virtual characters. I also feel like maybe they should start small and make it so you work your way up instead of being thrown into the middle of the action from the start like in 13. FF12 actually does this a little but I felt like shit hit the fan too soon before I even starting getting attached to the characters. I feel like the beginning should be more lighthearted and meant to get us attached to the main character.

[@Vianyte]

"Involves the player as little as possible." Beautifully sums up the shit that is the combat system.

[@ThrottleKitty]

**stares blankly at the camera** "..am I missing the point?" - My exact opinion on Final Fantasy and every other JRPG ever. Though I agree, the SNES ones where kinda cool. When I was 9.