Future-Proofing Your Relationship With Your Kids | Ep.178

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

Need someone to talk to? → morinholistictherapy.com/strategy

[@LessaMeieam]

I can promise you that no matter what you do there will be tension in the relationship. And they point out what you did so wrong and how they will do it better with their kids. Each generation says this. Each does better but the next generation will continue feel you could have done better, I know it f I knew what I know now than I would have been a better mom. I cannot change the past and I cannot change how others feel. Maybe one day instead of blaming, a generation will be more forgiving than the prior one. It is the mostly lack of use method

[@youtubemariemorinestrangement]

Hi and thanks for joining the conversation. You are making some important points. I think this is the case, our kids see our faults and some of them must express their dismay with us. I marvel at the number of adult children I speak with that would not think of telling their parents something that would hurt them. Then there are those who find it very difficult to mention anything redeeming about their parents. I think we could have all been better parents. do you think that it's not just about the parenting but also the temperament of the adult child and other circumstances in the family unit?

[@LessaMeieam]

@ I think it is wonderful for our children to express themselves. I also think we all need to remember with each generation we are learning more and more about how our brains work and how we respond to that. Growing up it was the father targeted. Now it is the mother. I think the biggest breakdown is lack of true communication on all sides. I think to break a cycle and heal is to communicate with healthy boundaries with a trauma specialist to help the communication to be successful. I think the number one thing that is running rapid is the disown, ghosting, and complete reject anyone who does not think as you or does not understand you. The people pointing and the people being pointed at are all guilty of this break down. To stop communicating is showing the next generation how to handle the situation. People might find “peace” at this moment but one day they will learn how crushing it was with making that decision. True deep peace is not running but working together. With that said, if an adult child is being sexually verbally or physically abused then none of what I said relates except for the survivor getting the help and learning boundaries that is healthy for them. Boundaries are for ourselves not to be used to control others..

[@mmorin881]

Thanks for writing. You make a lot of good points.you mentioned working with a trauma specialist, would that be for both parent and AC? Or, are you meaning individual work?

[@LessaMeieam]

@ I mean individual but also AC and parent.

[@debk3105]

I’d like to hear you address the issue of adult children estranging from parent because of jealousy over younger adopted siblings. Can’t find anyone addressing this. (25yr age gap between them)