Game of Thrones Abridged #97: Jon III, ACOK

[@thisguy8106]

"Birds are smart, yo."- Alt Schwift X I come here for these genius insights. Can't get this kind of info anywhere else.

[@kayla_eevee]

My personal theory on Coldhands is that the note from GRRM to his editor is true AND that he's Benjen. Basically, the idea is that Benjen IS dead and his body is being animated by a much, much older entity. That wraps up the mysteries of what happened to Benjen and who Coldhands is pretty nicely.

[@evancarlson5805]

Why Benjen's body specifically though? Instead of the thousands of other people who live and die north of the wall.

[@CicadasEverywhere]

@@evancarlson5805 Stark blood yo

[@Eclipse-qy1ew]

"Halo isn't known for its great lines" Heresy

[@fuzzydunlop7928]

Halo has a reputation for being action schlock, but those first few games had a subtle bit of artistry to them when it came to things like architecture, presentation, and world building that made attempts to copy the formula - and the more recent entries in the series - seem incredibly shallow. I have no clue what those people have done with my simple, yet artsy military sci-fi shooter but I can’t remember a single line of dialogue from the recent games. Meanwhile a giant goddamn talking plant was spitting straight fire at the protagonists back in the day. Were it so easy.

[@iainmackenzie9503]

He's back, it's a Schwiftmas miracle!

[@Gatinois]

Merry Christmas to anyone! Yes, especially you, Fred.

[@victormeunier9075]

So... The Nw exchanged a rabbit for a crossbow. In the same book, Joff keeps missing rabbits with his crossbow, and LF suggests to Pod to invest in rabbits, as the castle will soon be crowded with them. So clearly LF has a spy at CK who told him about those very profitable trade opportunities. I guess Mormonts raven is really a glamoured mockingbird relaying infos from the North and beyond to Baelish.

[@btarczy5067]

I never imagined that I would hear the word „daughterwives“ at all let alone about a hundred times in my life but here we are and Schwift can‘t even be blamed for it.

[@Astroga159]

Merry Christmas from those that missed live stream.

[@goodman4966]

Thanks! I hope you have a good Christmas and Happy New Year!

[@svant3]

Merry Christmas!

[@elliottcoombes]

Welcome back Schwift, you were sorely missed

[@Bloborus]

I would listen to these even if they were 3 hours per chapter. Schwifty commentary is perfect for while I'm working or doing chores.

[@cjdayne3033]

I’m sorry you don’t have more views cuz I love your ASOIAF content and get very excited whenever I see something new

[@PlanetTabxtr4]

You said that Mormonts raven says "yes" when they are talking about Craster and the sacrificing. If Blood Raven was in the raven at that point he was also there when they talked about Benjen. The raven keeps repeating "dead". Does that mean that Blood Raven knows Benjen is dead? It is heavily implied that Benjen is not gone from the story, so he will probably return in some state of death. What do you think?

[@altxogershavelayers5166]

Also when the raven urges them to go to the Wall it might be because the Bloodraven wants to prevent Craster from giving his sons to the Walkers. But Schiwt reads it as if it wants just the Watch back to the Wall. I don't know both might be right.And since Craster is dead it doesn't seem to matter much anymore.

[@theletterm5425]

Merry Schwiftmas everyone and a schwifty new year!

[@shazzy544]

1:23:00 Perhaps the white walkers use seemingly useless animals (combat wise) such as sheep as raw flesh for some abomination-style monsters?

[@evancarlson5805]

Weanus isn't a real term. It's a slang term that's probably younger than some of you reading this. The fact that so many people are confident that it's a real body part is evidence of how fast misinformation can become common knowledge.

[@ComradeCommissarYuri]

I’m now envisioning the white Walker sheep out there raising dead sheep 😆

[@youtubeunderground2990]

merry Christmas schwift squad

[@prof.cecilycogsworth3204]

Happy Christmas to all.

[@Kriegerdammerung]

I wish Juan hits Alt more often with his 2×4 plank for the sake of the upload :/

[@nononono3421]

"Gilliflowers have been claimed to be used as payment for peppercorn rent in medieval feudal tenure contracts. For example, in 1262 in Bedfordshire an area of land called The Hyde was held by someone "for the rent of one clove of gilliflower", and Elmore Court in Gloucester was granted to the Guise family by John De Burgh for the rent of "The clove of one Gillyflower" each year. In Kent in the 13th century Bartholomew de Badlesmere upon an exchange made between King Edward I and himself, received a royal grant in fee of a manor and chapel, to hold in socage, "by the service of paying one pair of clove gilliflowers", by the hands of the Sheriff. However, it is more likely that the rent was paid in the form of actual cloves (in Latin, gariofilum; the flower was later named after the spice, via French), cloves and peppercorns both being exotic spices." If taken literally, it would mean that from the point of view of the Others the babies have no value, and they take them just as a formulaic part to fulfill a contract with Craster, which allows him to live there. But George probably changed it to make it so that they do have some value. I think they'll come for Monster and Jon will hand them over, which will be enough to fend off the Others for a time, but knowing they will return Jon will prepare everyone to fight them next time instead of continuing to give them babies. This is probably what the "Night's King" did in the past, and his wife was not an Other but a wildling who was demonized later on. Brandon the Breaker and the Night's King are the same person, he just wiped his name out from history and used the whole magical curse as a way to explain why the NW gave children to the Others until they could defeat them, and save his own reputation by pretending it was someone else.

[@skibobshipoddlypop]

I'm inclined to believe she wasn't an other, but was a reanimated corpse. I feel like the Others touching your skin would be like, dry ice, and I'm fairly sure I've seen the term "corpse queen" thrown out once or twice. The pale skin and blue eyes describes a wight as well as an Other, and it's not outrageous given that Cold Hands is the same thing, a wight not in the thrall of the Others. Five bucks says he was a sensitive sadboi like Jon who was hype to get married to his love that died before her time, forsaking his vows, tying into that whole "love is the death of duty" thing. As everyone at the wall is a gossipy bitch that plays telephone, they'd just read his reunion with his dead ex girlfriend as him being a necromancer and necrophiliac, who knows what else. Then I'm going to go out on a limb and just say that the Night King put aside his little dream world where he got to be the king and get married and stabbed the corpse queen in the heart, doing the blood magic necessary to perhaps inadvertently make the sword known as light bringer, not unlike Danny using blood magic by accident to hatch dem eggs

[@nononono3421]

@@skibobshipoddlypop Val dresses in all white and has blue eyes. So I'm thinking it's giving us a hint of how slanderous stories can morph over time.

[@victormeunier9075]

I think the others have no use neiter for sheep, dogs or human babies. Its just a cruel game they are playing with Craster. They have no true pact, they are taking everything from him bit for bit until he has lost everything, and then they will kill and raise him.

[@warpedwhimsical]

The Others need the sheep cause they want new drippy threads

[@thomasmartin4281]

Some top notch abbreviation for this book

[@Nacho-db3dc]

My family raised parrots when I was a child not only do we have African grays but we also rescued birds from crows to burrowing owls Ravens are easily as smart as any African gray we ever owned and we had dozens of them because we bred them and sold them to people then ended up on the Johnny Carson show when I was a child Side note I thought it was normal for Jack Hanna to just show up at people's house for dinner when I was like five

[@KlaraL-_-]

The Entwives left the Entmen to start a garden in the east/south :D really.

[@tentaclepawn1548]

George RR Martin is a salmon CONFIRMED

[@DerFrischkopf]

2021 is the year that Winds comes out, I just know it

[@joshuaherbert30]

We still have 4 months

[@johnnygillam3975]

Don’t jinx it again this year

[@DerFrischkopf]

@@johnnygillam3975 2022 has gotta be the year, all the signs point to it

[@johnnygillam3975]

@@DerFrischkopf you goofed

[@AnnabelTheGoldsmith]

Gutted

[@devent6512]

More like a "frost"ian pact amiright

[@AltSchwiftX]

Ayyy

[@AQGamingDepartement]

With all this incest stuff, I reckon GRRM would be a big fan of Crusader Kings

[@satrmleo]

Lovely!

[@victoriongreyjoy]

Pigs are smart ...bacon taste good ..gods paradox" 👀

[@ComradeCommissarYuri]

Forgive my Greek but Craster be a somewhat distorted version of Cronus??

[@notribadsvault]

Craster is worse than the wildlings from the stories, blood drinking is downright mild compared to him.

[@thyagosaints]

I don't think I live yet.. say's he while live.. again 😂 (ok, this episode was pretty good) 🇧🇷

[@trevinwolverine1904]

Maybe we're going to see some crazy ice monster made of frozen blood from the sheep in the later books

[@lordpowell3788]

The ents literally just lost there wives. It doesn't really allude to a specific person event or reason as to why they disappeared. it seems like literally one day they all just packed up their things and left and all the male ents have never seen any of them again. when he asks the hobbits about it hes almost in a position of confusion like we just lost them have you seen where they've gone.

[@tooxxique]

Would that I'd be a salmon!

[@faisalkamal4319]

Grandfather father husband - craster's wives

[@PlatipuseKing]

0:00 Podcast

[@dongerlord7874]

0:00 Podcast

[@miketrujillo3677]

0:00 Podcast

[@jackl1697]

under the sea the worms fish and humans are on the hooks. this i know i know i know

[@dawsonmiller9474]

God i need the new chapters soon

[@liberTvalance]

Do they have Salmon in the UK?

[@miketrujillo3677]

​@fazediamond5671that doesnt anwer the question, im really curious now.

[@thewanderingartists]

What about king anus the third Targaryen who was pain in the ass ? XD

[@goldendovah7613]

is that what empty means??? so go MAKE MOAARR

[@deffientllynotjalenbutler1736]

People also describe my house as a midden heap

[@Mari-tc4gw]

1:05:49

[@Amadeus_DC]

Nooo I missed it ):

[@sit-insforsithis1568]

1:00:02

[@bakamangakka7139]

Okay this is completely unrelated to anything in the video but i need to get something off of my chest, (and spoilers for Feast for Crows!!!!!!!!) : I really hate Jon Snow for forcefully separating Gilly's child from her. I know it's kinda stupid but that's just how I feel and I wasn't particularly upset at his death. I know this is a controversial take but I don't really care tbh

[@Callumseven]

William Withers? a tip to Bill Withers, maybe ?

[@deffientllynotjalenbutler1736]

Alt Salmon X confirmed

[@rebeccas1048]

the ent ladies are all lesbians and tom bombadil is the ultimate ally #confirmed

[@KlaraL-_-]

The only undisputed canon in Tolkien.

[@sandiaYpescado]

You aren’t here for weinises