Gary Delaney One-liners in Dublin 2010. Dave's One Night Stand plus the deleted jokes.

This was my first proper telly slot back in 2010. Unless you count Paramount's rather filthy Comedy Blue which sadly seems to have been memory holed. It's stuff from my first Edinburgh show, which later became my first tour. Most of these jokes I later recycled on Mock the Week and then Live at the Apollo as those shows reach a much bigger audience. I'm still deadpan-ish in this clip.
I'll keep on digging out new stuff and adding it to this account, including some stuff that's never been on TV. Subscribe if you fancy, or not, you do you.
I'm on tour with a new show in 2021 and 2022 and hopefully after that. Tickets are at www.garydelaney.com
I've got a joke book out called Pundamentalist if you like that sort of thing. It's got 1000 jokes in it.
I'm also on Twitter @GaryDelaney , Instagram and Facebook @garydelaneycomedian and post a joke a day.

[@Porthos240]

Even his recycled ones still make me smile.

[@mercurion1000]

He can never finish the clean slate joke without laughing!

[@unctyler9407]

Still number ONE of the one liners !In a bad time of life.....A big thank you for giving us all a laugh! Thank You

[@robertmiller3750]

He's just hilarious and very clever ! Top comic 😀😀😀👍

[@The_Mad_King]

I heard some of these while working at the residence of the Princess Monaco of Kent 🥸🍻

[@MarkTheMorose]

MTW squad!

[@dioandgomezthenavyburglars5596]

Eww the royals are a dirty bunch

[@colinevans7134]

Pure class and brilliantly done, first class stand up comedy at its best, loved it

[@robertwagstaff3319]

The Wind in the Willows joke is one of the best things I’ve heard in a long time 😂 love this man!

[@smith077906]

Didn't get it? 😪😭

[@MattWillisVideoProductions2023]

@@smith077906 really? "Towed home" as in broken down.. and Toad was a character in wind and the willows.

[@caseypage7856]

I laughed my head off at that one

[@colincampbell616]

Just absolute classic comedy, fantastic Gary..

[@EleanorPeterson]

Yay, it's Mr Millican! Hang on to him, Sarah - it's not easy to find a man who can deliver hour after hour of great stand-up without resorting to those little blue pills... ;-)

[@itookallthenames]

That would be the funniest porn video ever

[@haydenwayne3710]

Genuinely really funny...and refreshing!

[@14rnr]

Absolute genius.

[@mikewheeleractor]

Great stuff Gary.

[@damien1351]

Brilliant,enjoyed that.

[@jellooowith3os]

My kidneys are hurting. Hilarious 🤣 nice one Gary. 👍

[@LXWLESS]

You're honestly my favourite comedian!

[@Giordifer]

These jokes never get old

[@tobyhart8515]

They do though. In this case 11 years.

[@steveashall2835]

I agree, get some more material Gary

[@johndarwood209]

Why have i not seen you before now, my sides are hurting from laughing, absolute genius. Ive just booked tickets to your shows in Scunny and Barton next year, can't wait

[@jrgboy]

He is Sarah Millican's husband...

[@raxtafari7750]

Awesome everytime.

[@ianbell7342]

the best . love that man

[@Sako85]

Gary is always a class act, coupled with his other half Sarah Millican they are currently the best two comedians.

[@arejetko]

This guy is brilliant!

[@stephenchristian6231]

Excellent

[@mehdiachouri]

I'm definitely getting a ticket next time he's in Dublin.

[@jimbrown5552]

Thanks again for sharing

[@joecorr1853]

His jokes are awesomely funny. Great writer.

[@donb3557]

The time and effort it must take to come up with these jokes has not been wasted. Funniest guy since Jimmy Carr.

[@scottsoul64]

Really!, you need to go on You Tube a bit more

[@robertscott6198]

Jimmy carr is about as funny as james corden.you need to get out more mate.they are not even in the same ball park as gary.

[@darrendoyle1780]

Jimmy Carr is NOT FUNNY!!!! This man pisses all over him. Trust me 😁

[@cantfindafeckinid]

​@@robertscott6198 you do realise that Gary ghostwrites a lot of joke for Jimmy don't you🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤣🤣🤣

[@queenbee2371]

Gary is WAY funnier than Jimmy Carr. Saw him recently and won't bother again.

[@criticalfxck13]

Thank god he reuses the jokes otherwise id never remember when i need em

[@paulnorris6253]

Very funny fella

[@anncarroll2204]

He is such a clever man and very funny

[@anncarroll2204]

So is his missus Sarah is my fave ! Get to see her in October. Happy days.

[@bigshoes5228]

Great comedian

[@541raymond]

this guy is hilarious

[@boobsthechemist2067]

Absolutely love this guy 😀👌 hilarious 😂

[@natureisallpowerful]

The malcolm x one though 🤣🤣

[@khalidamajoud4114]

A master!

[@thegraciefighter102]

My favourite comedian after Michael McIntyre

[@myoldmate]

Really? Personally, I find Michael extremely irritating.

[@peterlarkin762]

McIntyre is not human, let alone a comedian.

[@SidneyBroadshead]

*_Dave's One Night Stand_* (S3, Ep1) Comedians: Ardal O'Hanlon, Gary Delaney, Josie Long. Venue: Olympia Theatre, Dublin.

[@briancox1124]

just wanted to say great humor and keep up the great work you do.

[@philippaine]

The Master.

[@paulmurray362]

After watching you in Dublin your getting better just claim down we could be best mate's please get in the back of my taxi in Brighton and Hove me and you my god please help me bring my TV show the Cosmopolitan cab driver I will make you laugh so much you're rib's will break ❤❤ please xx🎉

[@steveprior6856]

Brill !!!!!!!!! .... !!!!! 👏👏👏

[@VideoNarstee]

Love your work Gary!

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

Well bless you.

[@tobyhart8515]

Getting a message reply from a celebrity is not to be sneezed at.

[@panchopuskas1]

Excellent....

[@tobyhart8515]

And...

[@bigtone1348]

The Best

[@carlsaunders8395]

This guy us hilarious

[@yourgodsisspeakingtoyouher4284]

Also watch Brian Kiley

[@kevinellis7877]

Very good 😊

[@dermotcleary9401]

Very I

[@hebejeebies2452]

Chocolate bar joke reminds me of Mitch headburg

[@shmookins]

Very, very cleaver. I love this style of comedy and I think it is the hardest to do because there are no fillers or down time. I have a feeling Steven Wright loves your jokes. :)

[@bertsmith7013]

What has a joke got to do with a small knife?.

[@1jimmy534]

@MichaelKingsfordGray are you unwell?

[@shmookins]

@@bertsmith7013 lol. I ALAWAYS make that mistake! XD. I'll leave it uncorrected so I can learn from it. :)

[@biggusdickus5986]

​@@bertsmith7013a cleavers quite a large knife 😂

[@andrewlambert4934]

One routine.... same for last 15 years

[@thegraciefighter102]

And still great

[@BlazeShorts820]

i've got tickets for Gary's new show next year and fingers crossed have his book for christmas!

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

Thanks and good luck.

[@BlazeShorts820]

I can now confirm I did get 'pundamentalist' for Christmas. Lots of excellent jokes, although making sure to check before I tell them to people when my kids are in the room lol

[@tobyhart8515]

I had turkey for Christmas. More digestible than the book. I plan to see Edward Scissorhands The musical this year, fingers crossed.

[@mikegrigg11]

Brilliant !!

[@creativegoth]

Very clever..

[@paulbriody297]

Fantastic!

[@AvengingSyndrome]

I must be really dumb. I’ve heard the Uri Geller joke many times and I still don’t get it. Any help?

[@NormanJR18]

Uri Geller is a psychic whose claim to fame is bending spoons as well as other forms of cutlery (Knives,forks,etc.). That should help a little.

[@klaasvaak8009]

woooo!

[@steerpike50]

Top Turn

[@hey_its_travis]

As an american I can understand and appreciate the canada joke

[@tobyhart8515]

It's borderline racist.

[@tobyhart8515]

@rian marky Icebreaker

[@lorenyoung791]

@hey_its_my_favorite: Yep, I got a laugh out of that too. Appreciated his footnote about an Englishman telling that joke in Ireland. Listened on; enjoyed the one about the Israeli flatmate & the junk mail addressed to "the occupier." Again - Englishman in Ireland!

[@bbctvlicensing6181]

I'm doing a sponsored vv@nk for the local childrens hospice. I know what your thinking. It's digusting, how could he? But, just thinking of those kids faces keeps me going!!

[@Spandau-Filet]

Have to ask… What about that Uri Geller gag..?

[@md61211]

Look at the comment right above yours

[@nightrider1954]

Does he ever make it to the Left side of the pond????? (to the USA?)

[@jamiegeddes1840]

Hilarious as usual. I’m not a huge fan of subtitles tho, I think it sometimes ruins the punchline a bit. Still fucking funny tbf

[@patmccaffery1543]

This happens in all his videos. What I do is cover the bottom of my laptop with a rolled up tea towel.

[@josephsamalis8727]

But at least you can understand the limey.

[@NeonXXP]

I tried to set up an erectile dysfunction support group, but no one came. So, the next week I set up two meetings. One for nymphomaniacs followed by one for premature ejaculators. Unfortunately, some the last group came too early.

[@69mosshead]

See video, add like, simple.

[@georgeknox1822]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@orourkeda]

The Olympia. My word.

[@alysonshorthouse8858]

Did I see The Internet's Hank Green at about 4:05?

[@Banquet42]

Definitely looks like him.

[@christinafinucane2738]

kiddy yuppp

[@carloscasillero4422]

If they ever make a Richard Griffiths bio pic?! Just saying

[@joshualeonpearl3724]

Can you explain the Uri Geller joke?

[@notused.]

Doesn't he bend spoons, so he couldn't be stabbed. The knife would bend lol

[@gwae48]

URI BENT FORKS, MAKING THEM USELESS.

[@joshualeonpearl3724]

@@gwae48 Thank you.

[@joshua6244]

What is the punchline of the joke about trying for a baby and the mother in law agreeing to help out? I can't hear it. Thanks.

[@paulroyds9811]

"Just 'till I get hard" I think he said...

[@iamdb1990]

2010... I feel old, I thought this was like 2017...

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

Nope. Sorry.

[@tobyhart8515]

You aren't old, you're outdated. This is 2021.

[@bkm6175]

Gary is good I like his wife more

[@ftbhoy]

He's too fast 😂

[@EvilSean62]

thats what she...?

[@frankhooper7871]

You're listening too slow.

[@tutnallman]

Groan- he is a good oldfashioned gag smith...

[@MichaelCravith]

So, did you ever get those free chickens that Nando's promised you?

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

No I bloody didn’t

[@billpearl1162]

Charlie Chaplin

[@toonmag50]

Mentioning Lord haw haw, in Dublin, so discreetly,they didn't notice.

[@tobyhart8515]

Yeah one doesn't want to broadcast it overtly. Such a turn off.

[@toonmag50]

@rian marky having Irish parents and holding an Irish passport doesn't count with you? I'm sure you're just chomping on the bit, waiting for a reply,so you can blow me away with a verbatim recital of the bollocks on Wikipedia . Come on then, what have you got? I bet it's something manipulative using 1.religion 2.the NI border 3. Pre 1926 Ireland. 4. A combination of the above.

[@toonmag50]

@rian marky oh you've woken up. As I thought,see above, it's the no 1 choice. Religion. What a surprise.

[@toonmag50]

@rian marky sorry my mistake Religion and politics. He was Irish, I understand that the Irish government were asked to intervene at Joyce's trail. Irish but not quite the same as you eh ?

[@toonmag50]

@rian marky Galway Joyce had a history of using forged documents, including British, and Danish. One thing for certain, he had an Irish passport. You deny him because of his politics and probably due to him having one parent whose interpretation of Christianity doesn't comply with yours. Galway Joyce, Lord Haw Haw was Irish whether you like it or not. The R of Ireland remaining neutral will be the next thing you'll deny . Anyway, the ROI as a result of the war and subsequent years have a good friend in Germany,so I'm sure your future is rosey.

[@gbwildlifeuk8269]

Watch a vid from a different venue, as he repeats the same jokes!

[@JP_TaVeryMuch]

It's the same for them all.

[@EvilSean62]

more of this less of other things

[@dhenderson1810]

Why can I not turn off the captions?

[@JP_TaVeryMuch]

They're not the usual crap auto generated ones.

[@tezdiz9133]

NEEDS SOME NEW MATERIAL

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

Try this kzbin.info/www/bejne/iWKrgGmtgqx9gpo

[@stephenmason5682]

He's got to be the new Ken Dodd?

[@craigmathews6836]

Same jokes different location. 🤪 why waste your money? Just keep the DVD you bought in the early 90's

[@valuetraveler2026]

Nice Israeli joke

[@artadams424]

I guess you have to be there. Or I’ve truly lost my sense of ?humor? …

[@apocalypticdaze2139]

Don't think you had one..

[@seangaskin7608]

Great jokes, but they’re just the same ones over & over again! Gary Delaney, I love your style of comedy, but you really do need to keep writing new material rather than repeat your same jokes at every show you do……PLEASE!

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

Jokes on each tour show never repeat. Jokes on TV sets do as they were recorded for different audiences. Watch the full shows in order to avoid repetition or watch the playlists of jokes not use in the sets. Algos will always show you the same ones.

[@terryblankley5109]

Jokes hmmmm same old same old got any new stuff

[@gunit9345]

Same jokes in all his gigs. Boring man

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/iWKrgGmtgqx9gpo

[@biggusdickus5986]

Nobody made you watch them!

[@josephsamalis8727]

He needs new material. The same old one liners all the time is getting dull.

[@GaryDelaneyComedian]

You won’t find new material on a video of a tv spot from 12 years ago. Have a look at the clips of stuff that was never on tv or watch the full specials of old tours or live shows of new tours.

[@gregc7699]

I hate when comedians are to lazy to come up with new material so keep recycling the same jokes over and over

[@biggusdickus5986]

Its just youtube playing the same clips,, no reflection on Gary who always has fresh material for a tour.

[@Turzik]

Well, most people who visit pop-rock concerts know the songs by heart... But they still go and pay 100+ euros/dollars for their ticket :)