Getting Better at Picking Lovers

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CREDITS
Produced in collaboration with:
Mike Booth
/ @somegreybloke
Title animation produced in collaboration with
Graeme Probert
www.gpmotion.co.uk

[@Calicido]

Read somewhere "You look cute but are you good for my mental health?"

[@nataliep501]

True words tho

[@deepalipawade8205]

💯

[@0jinx]

real

[@kathleenkaleookalanismith8724]

@@Calicido 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

[@NBnNC]

Needs to be a T-shirt

[@Krissy_K888]

My two rules: 1, Don't consider a fixer upper 2, Don't give chances out of peer pressure

[@utkarshsingh6172]

What does the first rule mean?

[@Krissy_K888]

@@utkarshsingh6172 don't consider someone you'd need to invest in, like a project (e.g. a man child, or an incompetent woman) to develop. Instead get with someone already at your level.

[@MyToasterIsBroken]

@@Krissy_K888what does “your level” even mean? I’ve coasted through thinking nobody was ever going to match me on my level. Then I finally looked at my current partner who admitted his flaws, and he was already in counselling and I knew that even though we may have been on different timelines with the work we’ve done on ourselves, the fact that he wants to grow and change does put him on “my level”. All of the rest just kept me single and think I was too good for those who were just starting their healing journeys (like where I had been at once before).

[@Krissy_K888]

@@MyToasterIsBroken my level: I can hold a job, I cook, I clean, I'm accountable to myself and take care of responsibilities.

[@TheScreamingFrog916]

Anyone else enjoy, how much of a group therapy session, the comments section is, on these kinds of videos? Helps me, to write down my thoughts, and share with others, who are struggling with the same thing. And, I gain perspective, and reassurance, reading others comments. Hope whatever your path is, that you are having a good day ❤

[@mrn7335]

❤

[@annoar9776]

I get that. Have a good day as well!

[@francespotter7697]

@@TheScreamingFrog916 yes I agree. I love reading the comments on these videos. They are often really helpful.

[@user-yy3ki9rl6i]

my gf has troubled childhood. how she handles those trauma is why i find her so fascinating. i never thought that childhood experience is so insanely rooted to the core of a person. It's such an accurate predictor of how the person will behave. so, whenever you want to truly know someone, talk about childhood experience.

[@SuperiorRobyn]

I thought everyone had childhood trauama. Like even people who become doctors, they often come from well to do, well educated, well mannered, two parent families that are postively viewed in their communities. But they are pretty much groomed to become doctors. Whether or not the child wants it. But they are basically brainwashed into doing it. Because it makes good money and they are "helping people" nobody ever looks down on doctors. And yet doctors have some of the highest suicide rates and many of them are raging narcissists who spent their entire youth in medical school. And doctors really dont have all the answers. They are just pill pushers really. And these people would fall apart if they realized the truth of their carrer. That doctors ussually dont heal people. I think the ones who commit suicide may have realized this ...

[@SuperiorRobyn]

All that said. My childhood didnt look too bad on paper. But it was just really really weird. I have been self corralling and trying to people please since i was a BABY. I remember my first birthday. IT has made me hyper independent. Not because i want to be, but because i am convinced that nobody wants to help me, and i struggle to connect with people i have never dated. I am 29. Am i too old for men?

[@kathleenkaleookalanismith8724]

Factssssss

[@kathleenkaleookalanismith8724]

@@SuperiorRobyn I personally don’t believe you are ever too old to learn who you are and your preferences in life and the desire to fulfill your dreams. I find it so intriguing that I was just thinking to myself that life is really like the butterfly effect. We can take the slightest shift in the way we live and we end up in a totally different place! I have found that the more time u spend understanding the patterns of my childhood that I am able to self regulate more and more quickly and I am able to connect more awareness to others and also because of these two things, I have been able to be more the creator of my life rather than just stumbling through life. 💜 And most definitely you are not too old for a man if that’s what you desire. 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽

[@MrDarkbluewater]

@@SuperiorRobyn some people get stuck forever in whatever troubling situation they are in, but some people get out. I see have seen examples of both in a support group I have been in for years, and it is very comforting to see people who got unstuck in something like their 40s. It very rarely really is “too late”. If you keep at it (even if you take breaks in-between), you will get closer to where you want to be. From what I have heard, dating also becomes easier starting with 40-50 years, because once people's kids are out of the house, they might reevaluate their relationships and decide to pursue something different. You are not exactly 40 yet, but it can be a soothing thought, when you are struggling, that things will become easier.

[@Vastald]

Would love to show appreciation for the genius behind the stop motion animations for this and the other video 🙇‍♂️ It accompanies the wisdom with a poignant air.

[@Blaydtingles]

Bro, I’m currently in a situationship with someone who’s emotionally distant and this video has helped me a lot. Time to move on to the next chapter

[@JuanTorres-ji5jh]

I always need to watch these videos twice. The first time watching, I always wander in my thoughts of previous experiences; then the second time is when I am fully present in the video

[@Saviturmoon]

Same to you! I be always rewinding 10 sec back after every sentence he narrates! 😂

[@ykyk917]

Kudos to the visual/video team, this was amazing!

[@alisababaeva8660]

Truly. Came to wrote that as well

[@francespotter7697]

I agree. Very clever!

[@chavzone]

Yeah this was a very unique departure from the usual style, I found it interesting!

[@ivana5618]

Recently reflected on how afrer 10 years of dating Im still not married and how silly that felt. Had to be honest with myself and realize the people I dated the longest were people I knew I would never marry. I wasnt seeking love the past decade like I claimed I was I was running like hell from it because it terrifies me.

[@debbiewilder4738]

So sad for the people who you got with that thought you were looking for love you waisted their time 😢

[@ivana5618]

@debbiewilder4738 not really I was very vocal about our issues, one thing I've always been is a communicator. I have a disdain for people pleasers and consider them manipulators. I always told my partner the incompatibilities that were holding me back and they always promised to work on them and change. Now that I'm wiser I know that stuff like people's values don't change and I shouldn't have picked them in the first place. I genuinely did love them but I will own up to giving them false hope by staying longer than I should have bc I felt safe to love them knowing an end was inevitable.

[@billpetersen298]

@@ivana5618 Please read what Debbie said again. Those partners, loved a wonderful woman, only to be given up. I hope you find love for yourself, before getting serious about another.

[@ivana5618]

@billpetersen298 like I said I owned up to the part I played and you're right I'm intentionally single right now until I can figure out how to overcome my fears. But I think the accountability is also on them for making empty promises to be the partner that can meet my needs when they knew they couldn't be that person. Both can be true at once.

[@a.s.6748]

@@debbiewilder4738 i am sure, those partners where evitant themselves​, they searched for each other reciprocical

[@billpetersen298]

If only I knew. 28 years, with the most wonderful person, who had one tiny problem. Fear of abandonment, and touch. While I need to get love from the impossible. Result, two tormented inner children, who didn’t know how to connect. When we meet, it’s in the eyes, we still love each other. Second marriage, 13 years, another capable wonderful woman, who is scared to open up. But bless her heart, is trying. I’ve had to learn how to love, without triggering sexual fears, in my partner. To be completely non threatening, to their unconscious triggers. It ain’t easy. But after decades of inner turmoil, and extreme loneliness, it is somehow all worth it.

[@Thewhiteandorange]

you give the rest of us hope.

[@jacksonm4247]

@@Thewhiteandorangeamen to that

[@billpetersen298]

@@Thewhiteandorange Thanks, age, loving yourself, and everyone, helps to smooth out the anxiety. Hopefully? Being loved back, by my adopted, and step children, is priceless.

[@pankajaraut]

hey ​@@billpetersen298 really feel very in place of your partner right now (same issues) and I just had to end a relationship because ' I wasn't one for him '. I really wish a had someone who loves my flaws they way you do for your partner. i wanted to ask: how do I keep looking? what should I be looking? and how do I know this is the person? tell me anything at could help me at this point.

[@robertzsombok7661]

Its heartbreaking when I think of myself as that child. As if its someone else. But yes, good advice.

[@kayskreed]

'Choosing' isn't the right word since it's not a unilateral decision like, say, buying a head of lettuce. You can choose a person and not be chosen back, or be chosen and unintetested - it happens all the time. The word I would use is 'receptive'. Be receptive to those who are not only available, but to the right kind of individual as well, i. e. where mutual availability and compatibility exists. No one has control over the outcome, whether it will ever happen or not, but the point being is try live with an open mind and without expectations. The minute you have expectations and they go unfulfilled (and they will) you will end up disappointed and angry.

[@tallspicy]

You absolutely can orient to choosing, which is very empowering. You can’t control if someone else chooses you… but if you choose multiple people who are not available, you have some work to do

[@tedchirvasiu]

Hard to pick from 0 options.

[@carlyobenauer]

This made me laugh 😂 totally relatable ❤

[@shormy4716]

Exactly 😂

[@SuperiorRobyn]

because it seems no one wants to date you? Or because the options available just arent good for you?

[@dfateekh]

😂😂😂 you make my day

[@sebastianmartinez5508]

@@SuperiorRobyn I'm not the original commentor but in my case as a guy in a third world country women aren't likely to take the first step and I'm not that good at reading body language. So if there is anyone who is secretly into me I haven't noticed, so the "not good for me options" are invisible to me. On the other hand I haven't been reciprocrated romantically by the people I have approached. They often DO want to be friends with me tho, and I have no issues being friends with someone attractive. I wish at least once a crush reciprocated. I would be quite content if for every 10 befriended crushes 1 wanted to be more than friends. I don't need to date or fuck every attractive women I see.

[@lucaiozzo8273]

This video presumes that I think I deserve an emotional mature partner when I don't think I'm myself mature.

[@tubes-lut]

But you do.

[@thoryan3057]

There's no shame in recognizing that you need to work on yourself a bit more before your next relationship. When my ex and I broke up a year ago, that's what I decided to do, and it has been well worth it.

[@SamsonOng]

Knowing you have ways to go likely indicates that you're well into the progress. Also, it's a journey - not an end goal that we can attain. Good luck!

[@thoryan3057]

@@SamsonOng Agree 100%

[@julietroberts1385]

Thank you so much. Clearly replaces the notion of fate or bad luck with bad choices we make from our upbringing unknowingly.

[@hearttalkscoach]

As a child we are walking bundles of ego, so we assume our parents' imperfect love is our fault / about us. That's our template for how love works, so we act out this pattern of trying to FIX our past experiences by finding similar ones in the present. That is, until we can understand out nervous system and its cues for safety, what these less conscious choices are trying to DO FOR US (e.g. protection, repair, belonging) and build healthier ways of getting that nourishment.

[@SkarGig]

when I was 18/19 the first boyfriend I had in college persued me for months. i would get this weird uncomforable feeling whenever he approached me out of the blue. we dated for a year, he manipulated my life into a point of totally unravelling it and then left me when I started to clock his cheating and drug use. I dont regret it but I do wish I had clocked my bad feeling as intuition/signals from nervous system and not convinced myself it was "butterflies".

[@hearttalkscoach]

@@SkarGig Listening to our nervous system is unfortunately a skill so many of us have to learn the hard way. I spent 9 years in a relationship where my differing preferences and needs were consistently cast as THE problem, ignoring the internal "I'm not safe" signals. Good for you learning better, and I appreciate you sharing ❤🙏

[@JLakis]

We NEED our parents to survive. It's a physical necessity. A fact predicated on our inability to care for, feed and shelter ourselves. We would die without our caregivers. Calling this Ego and associating that term with selfishness implies that there is something wrong with us as children.

[@hearttalkscoach]

@@JLakis Who's associating Ego with a problem? Of course it's necessary and adaptive to depend on our caregivers, and our Ego is just trying its best to help with that. Very normal and healthy pattern of development that only becomes a problem if we don't grow out of it

[@OpenDeepLearning]

This is so good.. I am literally crying inside

[@danayitmulugeta5545]

me too 😅😅

[@alexeykulangiev]

Wow... Thanks so much for the wisdom.. I had a lot of neglect in childhood. Going to learn my patterns better. And I really like the idea to develop "Can this person really love me" muscles! Grateful for animation as well - so many subtleties and so enjoyable to watch!

[@soullessvacuum]

Ok, I'm dying alone. Thanks for the reminder!

[@TheScreamingFrog916]

Me too....thank god! 😆

[@matheussanthiago9685]

In a way it almost feels satisfying To know that my parents fucked up so royally their role as parents That I simply refuse to pass down their genes You had your chance, you screwed it up Now the family dies with me

[@TheScreamingFrog916]

@@matheussanthiago9685 it’s strangely satisfying, knowing I’m not the only one, who decided to forgo having offspring, after experiencing difficult childhood, and wanting nothing to do with that. Ironically, I’m adopted, so I have no idea whose DNA I’m deadending . lol

[@44gg37]

Very well made animation! The scenes fit the narrative perfectly, the figurines are exquisite and the lighting is very dramatic. I love it!

[@nias3202]

Thank you. I think, there are some really valueable tips here. Unfortunately, I see some difficult traits in myself, which makes me a bad candidate for a romantic relationship, for example I need lots of space and time for my own activities. It has always been like this. A need for independence and freedom. I think about non-romantic forms of living together. I'm still a social person and I find friendships very fulfilling. Maybe living in community or living in shared flats for a longer time would fit me better. I would be really interested in a video about alternatives to romantic relationships. Have a nice day everyone.

[@francespotter7697]

Have you looked into attachment styles, particularly the "avoidant"

[@nias3202]

@@francespotter7697 Thank you. Yes, I have. It's very helpful.

[@AngelsandWolves1]

Beautifully explained, as always. Thank you for making this.

[@kantakouzini]

be more relaxed about it is the only way ive been able to navigate dating lol. ppl no matter their upbringing - wholesome and complete with kind, understanding and adoring parents can still raise children who grow into ppl who dont know what theyre doing - even with the best intentions.

[@Rose-l2m8d]

I wish this was taught in schools

[@MikeBeyene]

Timely af. 😮‍💨

[@Arturosuelto]

loving this new stop motion videos

[@Buba387]

You literally make posts and videos about topics I'm thinking of...... Such a good timing

[@learningisfun2108]

All great advice, but after looking for so long, and having high expectations of emotional maturity, people often settle for “good enough”. And maybe regret it later. People just don’t want to be alone. Sad, but, I believe, often true.

[@alicec.6195]

Imagine taking 7 months to enter a relationship with a person because you think you are doing a good job at analysing if that is the right one, only to three years down the line you find out they are the biggest liar and have been manipulating you the whole time.

[@melissasmuse]

Did you sleep with your partner pretty fast? Because someone who drops you like that won’t stick around for the long haul if that’s early on easily accessible. I am sorry for your pain ❤️

[@nataliep501]

That's awful, I'm sorry that happened to you. I was in your situation back I'm my early 20s to my fiance

[@jujai.akainu]

That’s just the way of Human Beings. Either we gonna accept the Truth or be a Loner. The World manifests The Truth, nothing wrong with The Truth. It’s was our choice at that Moment & Time. We need acceptance our own Nature as Humans. The more we know ourselves, it’s easier to deal with others people Darkness. Nothing wrong being in Relationships, nothing wrong being a Single, nothing wrong to be a Procreate or Childfree. It’s all has Benefits & Consequences, make a choice. 😀👍

[@kohtalainenalias]

Also women hypergamy is quite common: when they think they've found someone better they are quick to change and leave

[@brandondegraaf]

It happened to me too. Unethical, but highly effective. I am very honest, and I have been heavily penalized for it in the dating market. Women choose the guy who lies to them over me every time. It's almost like people want to be lied to.

[@Shortfusefilm]

As if your videos needed to be any more perfect! You've added an explosion of visual storytelling that opens up so many more layers :)

[@MrChutney]

This one struck deep.

[@kaiwindingwest]

been happily married for 45 years: listen to people smarter and healtheir than yourself in choosing partners.

[@voidreamer]

Very nice animation and lighting )

[@calmyetinternallyscreaming4458]

I fall for the first person who shows interest in my interests

[@vickid9709]

Another brilliant video! Thank you so much for always sharing such insightful content. It’s especially helpful to those of us who are, what I like to call, ‘foundationally broken’. 😅

[@JuanTorres-ji5jh]

I hope you don't let that concept define you. You didn't ask me, but no matter how broken you are, you can always start repairing those parts, and remember: you are deserving of love at every step of the process

[@vickid9709]

@@JuanTorres-ji5jh Thanks, Juan 💛

[@HM-vf8vh]

I used to think I am destined to pick bad partners for myself and suffer. Now I am in relationships that are 10 times better then everything I previously have had. And its been 2 years already.

[@skynet4496]

The issue is that some people have a submissive personality and they end up for dominant types that make them feel whole. A friend with that issue ended up with a woman who also had that issue and it was this idiotic tug of war, even to the point where she tried to tell him that males should dominate.... But she eventually dominated him and dumped him. He's ok and moved on to a great woman but his ex still constantly runs in circles with guys. Perhaps her over bearing family is to blame.

[@Leo-mr1qz]

She learned an unhealthy attachment style growing up.

[@musicmasteryoda]

wtf you just perfectly explained me and my ex's relationship... which ended about a month ago

[@DarylBaboulisGyscek]

listening to Alain for years and years via School of Life now - for the past two years I've been in EMDR therapy and having him as my "wise figure" (iykyk) has really given a voice to my inner wisdom to reach, comfort and inform past traumas

[@StorieswithMily]

The universe won't keep the right people away from one another. Sometimes timing is off in the right relationship, but they can come back to each other in better, or healthier moments ❤

[@NayOnFrames]

Fascinating indifference! 🖐️

[@dimsun3039]

I like very much that style of playing cards

[@vanessamaillart7208]

This is so accurate! It totally resonates with what I've been through. Fortunately, I've finally managed to break this pattern and allow someone to genuinely love me in an adult way. ❤

[@mrn7335]

Its the first time for me that I'm with someone who actually seems to tick all those boxes. It makes me anxious for wanting it to work, but so far it has been the best experience ever ❤

[@etaokha4164]

I kept attracting same people who were like my mother and I healed but I said no more to relationship and dating because alot of hurt people looking to hurt others with their own traumas. Am happy being alone because I was more lonely in those relationships than I was alone. I've embrace my single life and just focus on my kids and myself and give more to myself than anyone will ever give to me 😊

[@krishnakantasaikhom1765]

Super great work to the animation team in the school of life!!!💯💯

[@nazeaf]

Great video, explained with simple art 🎉

[@beatjunkybg]

It's actually fascinating how wrong some of my first choices were.. fortunately with every attempt we all learn how to read people better and what qualities to avoid (well most of us). The video was great, 3 minutes of quick wisdom

[@cristhof16]

Perhaps a little bit off topic, but I love this videos' aesthetics. ♥♥ And the content as well of course!!!☺♥

[@ducmn]

Next video: Getting Better at Picking Houses to Buy

[@JLakis]

I do need to get better at that.

[@chippychick6261]

I was totally entertained by the stop motion photography. Bravo

[@tonisiret5557]

The questions asked in this video, are very close to be the perfect ones to ask.

[@Earl_E_Burd]

Really awesome style of video. Great work. Great script, too.

[@lydiarosebrita4901]

I think having a healthy relationship with myself has helped a lot in this. I can see that if someone isn't able to support me and be there in the way I am there for myself then whether it's a friend or a romantic partner I know I don't want them in my life.

[@samsibly8837]

Yes! Once again SoL, exactly what I needed to hear, precisely when I needed to hear it. With much gratitude, Sam 🙏

[@irshadwaheed6318]

the animation summed up very neatly, the roles, moods and thoughts we are compelled to take on in our lives frequently.

[@I.Reckon]

Excellent animation. Clarified the message so well.

[@BbyKaafo]

And what happens is, they all don't harbour everything we seek in our potential partners. Pieces of such traits in different people at different points in time 😢

[@JasmineTea127]

You posted this at the perfect time!

[@iloveyoufromthedepthofmyheart]

The animation is brilliant :)

[@pvt.yushin7068]

Hahaha, perfect timing yet again! Good sir, you are my guide to life.

[@АнастасияАфанасьева-ш5ъ]

People forgot how to care for each other and how to take responsibility. So as much as I would like to choose, I am not finding these people with whom I could build a relationship, where we’d rely on one another. Or thins might just be a trend in my generation. It’s very lonely

[@violet80s12]

So spot on.

[@ace67]

Genuinely, school of life posts video topics im dealing with with almost psychic foresight

[@thakurmarjhuliy]

Love the new animation ❤

[@craigmerkey8518]

I always say rejection is protection!

[@charthers8903]

Most guys don’t have options - you take what you can, just don’t let that “no options” rule control your life - at the end be willing to leave for your own good and live life knowing you did at least experience what you could within your “no options” limitations

[@iOnlySignIn]

Hey! You can't just use my mother's face as a rotating demonstration statue!

[@nataliep501]

😂

[@eleanorclub]

IKR!?! Though exactly. Also wish I had one of those little cars...

[@sarayusarayu832]

HOLY SH*T!! This video gave me life 🎉

[@_wreckage]

In other videos The School Of Life said; we will never find someone who will tick all the boxes of a perfect partner. So are we now thinking that someone will tick all the boxes?

[@mike.delia26]

It's about being aware of the people that surround you before choosing one, to not produce the "Repetition Compulsion" habit once more.

[@sarayusarayu832]

That’s not what the video says. It’s says to think carefully of what a person’s boxes are.

[@ivana5618]

@_wreckage no it's saying make sure the person has the boxes you value the most and if they don't then don't pick them and try to force it to work

[@Earl_E_Burd]

I like how there often seems to be an assumption that the picker deserves perfection, like everyone's a 10 looking for their match. Sort of the soulmate fantasy that so many have been sold.

[@ivana5618]

@@Earl_E_Burd name a single school of life video that said you will find your perfect person

[@originaljazzkatt]

You never get what you want in a person, just what you can tolerate.

[@kathleenkaleookalanismith8724]

This is such a wise video! His videos are sooooo amazing always!!!

[@_MC529]

I don't get this "system" at all. I don't pick, I never could. My heart chose for me. And I wouldn't want it another way.

[@amritpalhh9836]

They never pick me back 😢

[@Daiviklk]

Actually, even You do it to someone else as well, knowingly or unknowingly 😢

[@DivoGo]

Yes they do.

[@JLakis]

Not being liked romantically isn't really personal. They're just not your person.

[@amritpalhh9836]

@@Daiviklk Yh maybe

[@amritpalhh9836]

@@JLakis it’s exhausting

[@AG-vh3lx]

I have come to the conclusion that when it comes to Love : its all about Timing and Fate🦋🔥🔥thats it !!! That's all there is to it !!! Timing and Destiny that's what It comes down to ultimately!!! If you're lucky you will find a love or your Soulmate but 😭🤣unfortunately the most of us which is like what? 80 to 85% of people we've got to make our own Luck🤦🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️ and choose people who want the same things as us and work at it hoping that it sticks and works out in the end😭🤌🏽🤷🏽‍♀️😭

[@aljonserna5598]

The ending, it's really hard tho, even can make you sound or really worse be pontificating. That was how I wanted to be to enter a relationship, til that's not what's happening, you'll erase that mature love out of equation again (after all, we're not all equal in our progress and it's rare to find those who are relatively approximating with us)

[@mobilemcsmarty1466]

fun as they were when they were fun, some for many years, all have ended. my conclusion is that you're not bad at picking. you can pick at genius level, but the harsh reality is that all parties come to end. the lights come on bright even though you're still having fun and the bouncer bellows "EVERYBODY OUUUUUT!!" I suggest to appreciate and enjoy the good times while you're having them. because you understand the inevitable you'll also always maintain an exit plan so you can attend the next party unscathed by the last 🏝😎🍸

[@mehdidridi2667]

beautiful video

[@JustAnotherGamerUS]

@alaindebotton i really like your personal perspective on parenting, and want to learn more about it. please write a book on parenting. i especially want to learn what a parent can do if they didn't quite measure up in making their child feel like a little emperor/empress in the first few years of life. thank you for all of your wisdom and courage

[@theschooloflifetv]

The School of Life has written a book on parenting called THE GOOD ENOUGH PARENT - available from all good bookshops.

[@Jigagots]

Heard once.. “you can never capture someone’s heart, it’s just your turn.”

[@Hammerheadsailboat]

Great video. Thank you.

[@Paul-kl2mn]

Love happens while we being ready to love, and inquiring on our frequency at the time seems a key to shared respectful growth and fun in a loving relationship Frequency of the time could be, what I am at this moment, what my desires, what kind of person am I having the potential to attract?

[@iRA_mkb]

Happiness is tranquility.

[@dharmakaurkhalsa3923]

❤. Would have been great to know this 40 years ago...

[@davidcastro1570]

perfect timing

[@landonbrenner2386]

How can we grow to become someone capable to maturely love someone else? -the villain

[@aozaire2445]

Great! Perfect timing. Just broke up with my ex.

[@amritasharma2908]

You know i do this and attract wise loving mature partners but in reality I myself am distant, avoidant, and not so very health with boundaries. We all want a good partner that's the problem and it will be solved when we will accept our shadows rather than overlooking them and rather than looking for one, WE BECOME THE GOOD PARTNER FIRST.

[@alsigaroudi]

Thanks for the informative videos

[@dad102]

You post concise unique content.

[@TheOutlierToday]

I just stopped picking. There is no risk and more peaceful.

[@PopLolli1]

I keep picking men I don’t even want. Run away from the ones I feel are too good for me? I don’t know I want to have that mature love. Idk what to do. I didn’t have that love in my household I don’t know how to love. I even have a friend who shows love but it’s hard to reciprocate that it’s uncomfortable and makes my chest tight. I wish I was better

[@imperatordei6615]

There are no options. All the good ones are taken, even some of the bad ones.

[@sebastianmartinez5508]

I'm the one who is never picked. No, my personality is not terrible; I have an easy time befriending women. My best friend is a woman herself.

[@1stEarlOfSurrey]

Romantic love is limitation - “compromise”, daily compromise. Money is expansion - “freedom”.

[@antonthemanton3065]

Women pick their lovers.... men just take what they can get..... This comment is MOSTLY true.

[@annoar9776]

so interesting!

[@srushtibaraf3574]

I really need this

[@Sophie20237]

Single forever 😄

[@aww.vibes00]

Naaww cuz literally me rn…everytimeee its so relevant

[@mestrekamizky]

After choosing one wrong person after another, even worse maybe... Now I'm in a situation where this or these issues, love, sex, attraction and such only brings me despair, fear, angry and sadness... Actually, I don't really know how am I gonna be able to open myself again...