GIRL CHAT VAULT: Struggle Love

[@tamerilee]

Struggle love is just trauma bonding, it’s unhealthy and draining. Your struggle should be a circumstance, not your partner

[@mahogany_chanel]

👏🏾👏🏾 thank you people need to call it what it is. This is totally unhealthy.

[@AwesomeSauceToys21]

That’s what I thought

[@fizzybizzy3790]

what do you mean by trauma bonding?

[@CloroxBleachCompany]

Fizzy Bizzy 2:23

[@kaylamaribela]

@@fizzybizzy3790 it's when you become attached to someone based on a traumatic experience and getting thru it together. The mentality that "we've been thru so much, I don't want to leave him", which is unfair to you and taking care of yourself

[@LoveNurture2003]

Quoting Adrienne, "I'm just wondering where we riding to and why I gotta die"? Good question. Adrienne is giving some good answers, she's so right, you can't reap what you don't sow.

[@wezichirwa5398]

I loled at that one

[@michellerichardson3090]

So true. I told a guy, I'm not a ride or die. Im a coast type of girl. Im with you until its gonna bring me drama

[@DIANAS5657]

michelle richardson Preach🙏

[@noveldixon9963]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣its true

[@TheTruthAintInYa]

@@michellerichardson3090 lol 😂

[@mochi_3600]

I am so devastated Tamera is leaving. She is by far my favorite..

[@LiLmSzDiVa]

Me too 😩 I’m sure going to miss her

[@jesssunshine1130]

She adds such an amazing energy I’m going to miss her too

[@saltycat662]

For me, the show died once she left. The dynamic with Garcelle just isn't the same.

[@svideos5754]

The black community needs to stop marketing struggle love to Black women. Girls date on your level point blank periodt

[@C2G2]

Thanks for the message I read that loud and clear

[@HAlC-up4hm]

Struggle love sounds like struggling to love YOURSELF enough.

[@tamerilee]

That’s it!!!

[@peaceness888]

YES!

[@bakangmlangeni]

Oh you better preach!!!

[@candycoatedreams]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 a word!!!

[@magdalenarascon8666]

"Im just wondering where we ridin to and why we gotta die" - I felt that Adrienne🙌🏾

[@erionford3862]

Wow, so many others are gonna miss Tamera. She was definitely a true class act!

[@charaardrey5846]

Absolutely

[@makena.cherry]

When and where did she say she was living ?

[@alisonsophie1570]

Cherry M on her Instagram a couple of days ago

[@poeticjustice8420]

I can't believe tamera is leaving, I can't. Both her and jeannie are my favourite whhyyyyy

[@RTK082]

Samee

[@Fupababy]

Been thinking about it since she announced it too 😔

[@sanjananayak3546]

Me too!

[@caramelcocoa234]

Since she’s leaving I’m unsubscribing the real is done

[@zarahshabs7936]

WAT WHERE IS THIS INFO WHAT

[@kristiek2142]

So true what Adrienna said lots of women don't value themself and dont know how to enjoy their own company.

[@gaila.9852]

“Uproot and replant yourself.” I love that.

[@angels9557]

I love Tamara so much, like this virus is already bad enough

[@SummerChick500]

dont really know how this show is going to go on without tamera, we miss you already tam tam

[@chiedzavaleriemaenzanise1174]

I'm happy that Tamera is moving on to the next phase of her career, at the same time I can't begin to imagine The Real without her. I'm gonna miss her so badly.

[@patskitchen527]

Tamera Please dont leave !!!

[@jasmineletstryitall2950]

I can't believe 😱Tamara is leaving I'm gonna miss her so bad😥 cause I like her spirit

[@AmourMeTay00]

This was one of the REALEST conversations The Real has ever had and I couldn’t be happier.

[@Sumera96]

Please Tam, don't leave

[@user-ea2liberi7food]

Yes ooh me too

[@abwoolitiger6309]

I can't wait to shade tears, i really love her so much

[@juliarodriguez809]

I love Tam’s hairstyle. It looks great on her

[@Sorekneecap]

Tam is on point in this episode the hair the outfit the accessories. Love it.

[@carenrogers19]

2:19 the black couple nodding their heads and so into it like there at church. Preach adrinne 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@imwastingtimehere6453]

Tamera looks stunning.

[@shandinalani32]

STUNNING.

[@kc-un7by]

I’m gonna miss Tamera... she’s my favorite. She’s so empathetic, sweet, always positive. Also she’s the only mother of the show...

[@tayloryvonne9799]

The Real is such a girls girls show. I love it !!!

[@7iconiclegends]

Tamera and Jeanie are literally my fav members and if Jeanie leaves too then AM OUT. Tam we gonna miss you MAN. Take care love❤️❤️

[@neonanile7028]

Me too, Tam and Jeanie always speak sense and have insight on their opinions, she will be missed

[@mattyladancer8249]

The real will be different without tam tam she will be missed 💙

[@kaidiver3089]

ALWAYS BEEN A FAN OF TAMERA !! TEAM TAMERA, WHERE YAH AT !?!?!

[@joannapilgrim]

I luv luv luv Tamera's look. Her hair and outfit are da BOMB

[@makalacrawford4271]

I've been through EXACTLY what Tamera described! No more! I had to take responsibility for allowing these men in my life, and work on myself. Great episode.

[@rina908]

If the parent didn't build that relationship than that's the parents fault. It's also their choice on who to put on their will. Children are not responsible for building & INITIATING a relationship with their parents. That is the parents job from birth, if they failed at that then it's not the childs fault or responsibility to fix it once they are an adult.

[@tamerilee]

Adrienne said “I don’t give a poopoo” 😭😭😭

[@maybelline7347]

Adrienne is an airhead

[@fiametaferede7428]

Loni cracks me when she said, sister sisters

[@nikkinyokabi6111]

........It benefits him ......... Wow .... Thats sth I hadn't thought about

[@hummingbirdandbutterflies]

Adrienne 😂 where we ridin too and WHY we gotta DIE!!! 🙌🏽 Lonnie, I love this topic.... ALL Women-love yourself above any and all. I absolutely love to date myself and buy myself whatever and whenever I want. I take myself on vacation wherever I choose, eating whatever and whenever I want to. Having have lived like this for years, I can not and will not accept anyone who can join in on my beautiful life I have created.

[@kinetmarcknopal6428]

Urgh, Jeannie's analogy 😍😍

[@jaylonsharp236]

I’m glad they said love yourself, be happy and have a great time with yourself. It’s completely true

[@KobiMensah]

You can’t reap from a relationship you didn’t sow into

[@katrinalovees]

Love you Tam Tam❤ Hey Ade you look beautiful as always

[@besterwaleng8214]

Is there any thing we can do, just so Tamera don't leave the show?😢😢 maybe sign a petition or something😩 . Much love from South Africa❤ 🇿🇦

[@ellaa5986]

She doesn’t want to stay anyway... She mentioned something about acting again

[@sergiafirmino2192]

Am with you on tamera not leaving the show i practically look up to this lady❤❤But as long as shes hppy with her decision then i will always love her 😍😍

[@besterwaleng8214]

@@sergiafirmino2192 yes❤

[@victoriairias7703]

Tamara looks sooo good!! that is her color

[@jessica8471]

My ex husband cheated on me and I started drinking A LOT to where I was having withdrawals and reaching for the bottle 24/7. I’m glad I was able to get over it and now sober, single, and thriving. Don’t give up people❤️

[@Hunzful]

I agree Adrienne .. love and honour your parents! And your children will do the same for you too.. the blessing stretches from generation to generation ❤️

[@MeccaLegal]

Ade been serving looks. She needs a look book for the show.

[@katherineperez7114]

Had to click on this video because Tamera in the thumbnail 😍😍😍 That hair, make-up and red wine color is EVERYTHIIING 👌

[@joyceamo]

Loni is my favorite she has the best facial expressions

[@gaila.9852]

Loni looks so good in blues and purples.

[@emmastone8779]

Woah, why are people thinking this?? Like I’ve had this conversation with my dad, he was talking about houses and which houses he’s leaving me, which houses he’s leaving my brother, etc, I said this to him and I’ll say it here : I don’t care if I get 4 houses or none at all, I’ll be happy even if my brother gets everything, I’m not materialistic like that and you know that. Something that I would like more, is a heartfelt letter, that I would frame and have with me forever, or something that was meaningful to you or both of us, so it reminds me of you and makes me smile when I look at it and think of you. My dad always says this “I’ve only got one son, and one daughter” he loves us both equally and differently and that’s okay! So yeah... just thought I would say this for anyone who needs to hear it. Like they said, if “what am *I* going to get?” Is your first question/thought when talking about your father’s or mother’s death, I’m sorry but that’s just wrong imo, and that’s something you need to work on.

[@morolaseyeope-ewe6303]

Jeannie should write a book

[@modona100]

I’m gonna miss Tam 🥺 I hope whoever is going to replace is good. Imagine a panel with Keke Palmer and Tiffany Pollard!

[@ellaa5986]

Keke Palmer should join!!!

[@drtash21]

@@ellaa5986 Keke would be great. Also her show with Sara and Michael has been cancelled so she's a free agent now.

[@DoriDior]

Tamaras slay on this episode! I love it.

[@DanielleLavirgo]

Umm now they need to talk about REAL struggle love. What loni explained is an abusive relationship. Tell these women the truth. The problem is most of us don’t know we are in a struggle love relationship.

[@kaym.2854]

This was a deep convo. Love it!

[@oilinmylamp]

I have 2 children and I absolutely love and trust both of them and have already divided it equally to them both. But I am so blessed.

[@LadyKEntertainment]

I love Tams hair in this clip

[@mzansicelebgossnews7672]

I love Tam tam so much I rather watch the old episodes she's in.

[@ndnaf3705]

I hate that Tam is leaving! Gonna miss her a lot! Remy Ma would be a great replacement.

[@sarahcijntje5067]

Tam is for real the “Michelle Obama” of the show👏🏾👏🏾😍 I love how real and honest she is❤️❤️❤️

[@natalierivera4350]

That color looks amazing on Tamera

[@fausiacv9229]

I'm gonna miss Tamara 😭

[@raerae7463]

Looking back at early episodes. Loni has dropped alot of weight. She looks great 👏🏽

[@edenhaile4343]

I am going to mis Tamera so bad.

[@preciousnunique]

I said it before and I will say it again...The Real should hire Gabrielle Union or Jill Marie who played Toni in Girlfriends (beautiful, classy, mature) and someone younger in their early 30s - maybe Zoe Kravitz.

[@gashbenbarzan5698]

Their is a different between what you want and want you actually need ❤️ i felt that

[@naziabegum6379]

They are all dressed sooo goood on this 💕

[@humblebee7954]

Thank god for the Housley Life

[@renzavala3376]

00:50 0:52 funniest moment ever 😂

[@laracahow6303]

I’m going through a breakup with someone I was with for 5 years and have 2 kids. I relate to this so much

[@chynafelix-spady9440]

just got broken up with after a 10 month long relationship and I was Tamera smh. im hurting rn but I thank god for ending it! I was really hurting myself bad!

[@magdalenarascon8666]

Tamera is definitely going to be missed

[@DeJai237]

“How do you get women out of struggle love?” They like who they like. Maybe start with not lying to self.

[@pigizmo]

what if the parents were narcissistic parents? no kid should ever feel obligated to take care of parents who abuse you

[@puresuga219]

Jeannie always speaks 🔥

[@chaolee9090]

Jeannie is lowkey my therapist.

[@Mt.Moonface]

Tamara looks so good ugh 🤩

[@keelykova]

if a child resents their parents doesn’t mean the parents are innocent

[@mels864]

Enjoying these episodes of late

[@noveldixon9963]

The dislikes are from those people who endorse struggle love 🤣🤣🤷🏾‍♂️🤣🤣🤣

[@SuckerPunch92]

Lmaooooooooooooooo

[@prudencedantye9297]

I support Tam’s decision to leave, it was time.❤️

[@Avsequee]

😰 Ooh why?

[@ellaa5986]

they should just end the show now together. The real was better earlier on now it’s going downhill

[@totheno9207]

This was a show full of interesting conversations EVERTTHING DISCUSSED. GREAT TOPICS!!! I ALSO HATE TAMARA LEAVING, BUT UNDERSTAND.😔

[@beckaarrnondo8622]

Ohh Tamera ... don't leave!!!!!

[@sunkissgirl818]

Going to Miss Tamera💔💔💔 her and Jeannie is the reason i loved the show💜

[@BATOOLESK]

the last season of the real just didnt make it for me , their energies are different ...maybe after getting awards and such , loni seems not interested , adrienne became more sensitive and less fun... now tamerah is leaving...

[@gaila.9852]

Parents definitely have favorites.

[@MajesticMyronn]

I also feel like we have to be fair in a relationship and also look at the fact that just because my partner isn’t perfect doesn’t mean I am and we should own that ! If you’re sitting here just saying “ my partner doesn’t ... & ... “ what do you do , how bout that ?!?! Look at yourself FIRST before u decide to throw stones and hide your hands ! We all have flaws... so look at what you bring the table before trying to make the other party look bad... it’s fair to feel a certain way if they aren’t doing something for you but what do you do for them

[@peaceness888]

That's true for most things. But if he cheats on you, is abusive, a bum (i.e. unemployed and not actively looking for work, unless he's a student or stay-at-home dad), or on drugs and refusing to get serious help -- you need to leave. Even if you are the same, staying with someone in that space will only reinforce your negative characteristics and bad habits. If you are a bum, living with someone who has no ambition will only make it worse for you. If you cheated, you shouldn't be with a relationship unless you can be honest with the other person. If you have any of those characteristics, you shouldn't be in a relationship -- you aren't ready. You should work on yourself. Toxic relationships don't help people -- they prevent them from growing. However, for other stuff, you are 100% right. Some people think a partner will solve all their problems. Unless you have supermodel looks, you shouldn't expect your financial problems to be solved by getting with a partner. Don't blame him/her for not making enough money if you're not making that kind of money either. Same for people who are bad communicators, get into arguments, are sexually unfulfilled, etc. Too many people look at their problems and forget to look in the mirror and instead look for others to solve them.

[@Tan87ful]

@@peaceness888 agreed

[@tamerilee]

On Tamera’s IG she posts that school is virtual this year so she’s homeschooling also she got picked up for another Christmas movie on hallmark!!!

[@gaila.9852]

I saw that as well. I'm excited for her.

[@rowanali7745]

yes she mentioned her love for acting never stopped so i'm guessing she wanted to go back into doing more acting

[@omphilemoerane2569]

Who is shooting a movie during a pandemic?🙄 I see that not working out. At least they could shoot The Real from home.

[@tamerilee]

Omphile Moerane it’s for next Christmas

[@prettygirltherespurpose]

Love y’all fits today

[@LH-mn3cc]

such a good topic

[@ranitagadling4312]

In my honest opinion if you've respected ,obeyed,& honored your parents while they were alive then if they choose to leave you anything after they've passed away then so be it but in my honest opinion I believe that once their job is done and you're financially independent & are able to afford everything on your own you're parents shouldn't leave you a damn thing financially or otherwise.

[@themalawiandiner180]

Then who should parents leave their stuff to, once they pass away?

[@favourafinni]

True, that fear of loneliness makes a lot of women settlw for struggle love

[@redmeigeyembet1293]

Amen girls😍😍

[@audreyb.2494]

I will miss Tamera. I started to watch this show because of her. I really did recognize my self when she said I didn't know much about dating.

[@lifeisbeautiful9455]

I’ve met men that wanted me to struggle before they even took me out on a first date. This is why I don’t go out with every guy.. I talk to them first over the phone and they just start saying things and being that my father was a bum and we struggle pd growing up. He never worked and he was abusive. I just know the red flags. But my ex, oh he played me… he was a con artist. He knew I wouldn’t just take care of him so he had to devise a plan. He was older than me and when he stayed over for 4 days… a red flag went off but even before that. When I started doing better.. he just thought whatever I had, money etc, my time, energy, my place was going to be his. He wanted a lot of things. He just didn’t want to have to work for it. He stole from me, it was mess and he had another woman and a child. I was so mad at myself for rekindling, before I knew all of this… he just wanted to get back in my good graces to use me. She put him out and he came over to me. But he made it seem like he was just spending the night but he wasn’t. He wanted me to struggle until he figure out what he wanted to do with his life. And wanted me to weather the storms and carry all the weight and make sure he was good meanwhile I’m stressed, trying to get out the situation I’m in, live better and he wants me to do it alone, but give me fake support because he’s there meanwhile he wasn’t doing anything, and no care in the world. He wanted to be the woman in the relationship and sit back and receive and get taken care of. I put that lazy SOB out. My father wanted me to take care of him when I was younger, asking me for money, or any other woman. Disguise himself as a man when he was a abusive narcissistic bum.

[@nazia9687]

Super sad to see Tam Tam going, but who do you think will be a good replacement? I thought 4 hosts was fine, but 3 may not be enough. I loved Yvette Nicole Brown, Tisha Campbell, and Monica when they were guest co hosts. She's never been on, but I also think Keke would be fit right in,

[@RaeJ22]

nazia I like Keke & Tisha the most.

[@kgomes1126]

Yes when Tisha Campbell came on I loved it and of course Keke.

[@BATOOLESK]

loved them all but the main premise of the show was directed to younger audience so yes keke fits perfectly !

[@seavista4810]

I have really come to enjoy the Ladies of the Real...I will surely miss Tamera. At least there will still be the original three remaining..

[@khwezik3894]

I am so glad I don't have siblings like my mum. She was the one who took care of her grandma and her mother, she made sure that every pay cheque went into making them comfortable especially her mum. She upgraded the house, she bought the house outright for her mum. When her mum passed, she then left that house to my mum and the brother who was the least helpful in anything is the one now fighting to take the house.

[@donovanstokes5511]

“Sister, Sister struggled?” 😂

[@chrisharris2367]

Jenny Mai looks good for her age...she's running circles around women in their early 20s and 30s..wow i need to peep her beauty regimen...audience if you have any tips i'll take it; trying to glow up!

[@eccho1]

One thing rhey didn't mention is potential pedophiles/perverts..... What if someone was watching your child using the restroom and felt some type of way...

[@shandinalani32]

Struggle Love, uhmmm, I felt that. Great talk ladies!

[@michellerichardson3090]

In most cases struggle love doesnt last because once they stop struggling, the man will leave you.

[@hannahwootton6491]

Totally agree with ade of being there for your parents or grandparents in my case and choosing to make a relationship sowing into it

[@youngsterschannel5192]

Please tamera don't leave the real, love from Rwanda 🖤