Girl Defined Husband DECONSTRUCTING!

Dave, the husband of Bethany Beal of Girl Defined is deconstructing his Christian faith and OH BOY is there a lot to talk about here!
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Timecodes:
00:00 Start
04:35 The Paul and Morgan Collab
09:02 Paul and Morgan are "Nice"
11:33 Dave on his Faith
22:55 Contradictions with Bethany's Teaching
24:49 Their 'Unique' Love
27:27 Being Casual about Hate
32:40 Bethany on Different Views
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[@EmmaThorneVideos]

What a wild ride 2024 is turning out to be. Hey in the spirit of love, if you would like your own Rainbow Pride Baphy, the campaign is live for a few more days bit.ly/3vH8nci 🌈💖

[@Furry-iousNews]

Already got it preordered!

[@CheshireSB]

My sweet sweet boyish looking English smarty pants... be thankful you don't live in Alabama and Kattie Trad waif is your Senator! Did you see that GOP SOTU address?

[@Nojintt]

Just remember, no matter what happens, no matter what anyone says, no matter how many people tell you that you're a terrible sinful person who should burn in hell for all eternity, you are a genuinely good and pure person Bella!

[@bwill325]

Can you link the original video too please?

[@clovismeaux9532]

no you didn't play the vid so we could make up our own minds.

[@wbebbs]

There is a good reason Girl Defined are not terribly upset by "haters". Fundamental American Christians are taught that being attacked means they are being good Christians. Persecution means holiness and righteousness. So these haters help them feel like blessed martyrs. Fundamentalist influencers and preachers constantly portray American Christians as victimized despite their total religious freedom and frankly extreme political power.

[@phillyphakename1255]

That evangelical martyrdom mindset is so weird as an outsider, and frankly, I'm amazed I ever fell for it.

[@pattheplanter]

But officer, it was consensual martyrdom!

[@tomdg13]

Yup. DARVO. I think the false victim narrative (false in the current time, even if extrapolating from something that is true for others in different places and times) is one of the biggest drivers of atrocities throughout history - and is frequently intentionally stoked for that purpose.

[@whatabouttheearth]

Yeah, they indoctrinate themselves to believe that if you are hated it's because you are "the chosen" or some bullshit. It's another mind fuck indoctrination tool. I was an evangelical, that brainwashing is no bullshit, it's always referencing others persecution far away or in the past, real or perceived, and than twisted into saying that you are being persecuted when others don't buy into the uber brain washing system. I started to start thinking too many things were just not thought out well, and that they had a suspiciously narrow view of god, to questioning evangelicalism, then religions overall, then I was a diest for the longest time which really makes you notice it's all bullshit and that they have to constantly re-indoctrinate you to self indoctrinate. It's all re-indoctrinating you to get you to re-indoctrinate yourself to let them re-indoctrinate you again. Sunday church, Wednesday church, Bible studies, then more Bible studies, only reading approved literature (basically), shop at Christian bookstores, watch Christian movies, have constantly repeated phrases or saying that reify the ideology, etc, etc, etc ad nausea. They really don't know what liberation feels like and that the church is just man using the character of "God" for the ideologies of will as an ideological social power structure. It's kind of hive mind shit to keep itself perpetuated.

[@monasharda9812]

@wbebbs Thank you. It’s such a relief to see them called out like this.

[@andrewt3768]

Props to them both. Telling my wife that I could no longer consider myself a Christian was the most terrifying conversation of my life. I was very concerned she would ask for a divorce. She shocked and touched me deeply when she told me she wasn't going anywhere, and we have been working through it since.

[@rachelhuitsing1876]

I'm so glad for you! I hope you both get the support and tools you need to navigate that journey.

[@adruiddrummer8841]

I feel this so deeply. I had all those same fears and feelings when I had this same conversation with my wife. I also was surprised and relieved when she told me the same thing your wife told you. We're still together and stronger than ever more than 8 years later. Hope things go well with your relationship too. 😊😊😊

[@EclecticGreyWitch]

I'm glad your wife was able to accept you even when your beliefs changed, and I hope your relationship remains strong and happy. 😊

[@andrewt3768]

@@adruiddrummer8841 it's awesome to hear similar stories, and your success gives me more hope for the future. We are doing well, and as long as the door remains open to solid communication, I think we will continue to do well.

[@0LoneTech]

"Working through" has worrying vibes of "it's just a phase".

[@dwaynewhite1669]

I knew it would happen. When he admitted to be reading the Bible cover to cover on Paul and Morgan. That’s how I became an atheist. I read the Bible. When you read it, you get it. When you get it, you don’t want any part of it.

[@hieithefox]

I am autistic so never really bought into it but really grew critical when I found an older version of the bible in CCE (my mom taught it) I read it cover to cover and it really got me questioning even more

[@charliemallonee2792]

@@hieithefoxAutism really helped me out in questioning things everywhere. And the one upside to being a social outcast most places was that I had no friends to peer pressure me back into believing.

[@queerantine69]

I did that in fourth grade but it took years later to finally deconstruct Edit: Hey I'm autistic too hi❤

[@KenS1267]

It's funny how many atheists have read the whole bible and so many Christians haven't.

[@rachelhuitsing1876]

I didn't become an atheist, but I don't believe in the xtain god anymore, and my experience was very similar. I read 10 chapters or more a day for years to try to work myself more into true faith. Opposite effect was had, in fact.

[@Naafidy]

Hi Emma, I deconstructed a few years back and it ended up being the end of my marriage. It's a long story, but I'm a few years out from divorce and am living a very, very happy life living in sin with my atheist partner.

[@pattheplanter]

You can't love from behind a mask. Congratulations! I am inspired to think up a list of the Seven Cuddly Sins.

[@charisma-hornum-fries]

I suppose you're laughing through the word sin? 😅

[@marlyd]

For once we can thank Paul and Morgan for something. Who would have ever guessed Paul is so terrible Dav lost faith in the lord.

[@helenr4300]

it is interesting that he says he is questioning when they married

[@Olivetree80]

Lmao

[@MudouSarah]

I think Paul was very nice to Dav. That's what he said in the video, right? Or was this sarcasm? I'm a bit lost 😅

[@anainesgonzalez8868]

That is not true and a bit rude

[@KenS1267]

It seems completely reasonable to me that spending any time at all with Paul and Morgan would make me sure there is no god.

[@RayKosby]

If Bethany deconstructs, naming the new channel will be easy "Girl Undefined"

[@biologezwei]

"Girl Deconstructed" is right there, though.

[@TheMissiIe]

You just know his DMs are full of the typical Christian "love"

[@stygggian]

Sadly

[@circumcisionersjar]

Probably copypastas lol

[@ftwkh85]

and that's why I almost expect him to either reconvert and be a story of how he was saved or to leave her and be painted as a corrupted monster..... I saw it happen all the time in evangelical churches throughout my youth...

[@danikinzstar]

@@ftwkh85I wouldn't blame him if he did... It's incredibly lonely and isolating when the community who built you up suddenly shun you. It's a feature, not a bug...

[@RaineInChaos]

@@danikinzstartbf, I think one could make the claim that the skeptic community has built Dav up quite a bit

[@evangedeon2194]

You love to see it. I hope his community don't ostracize him just for thinking too hard

[@justanidiotmk2749]

Sadly we know how this is going to go but let's not stop hoping.

[@alanhyland5697]

They will

[@insertianameia2224]

I've recently watched a reaction video amd Fundie Fridays and she mentioned how she was thinking this would be coming (just probably didn't think it would be this soon.) And she was encouraging people in our various atheist communities to welcome him if he does. Amd I hope people in our communities welcome so he can find a new, positive, support system so he can continue to grow. Losing your entire spot system and loved ones is hard (which many of us can understand and relate to.)

[@irenafarm]

They absolutely will punish him, and her too.

[@wittykittywoes]

they almost definetely will. they’ll talk about him being “demon posessed” I can’t remember his name, but there was a preacher/car on the way to work streamer who expressed similar ideas, and than broke down live because everyone in chat condemned him. I hope he’s doing alright now ):

[@Luci_loves_Bangtan]

I think what resonated with me most was when Dav was talking about trying so hard to feel something and always coming up short. I remember when I began deconstructing at around 18 or 19, I would sit in mass (I was raised Catholic) and I would pray that I would feel something, anything. Then one evening after an adoration mass (basically a mass where a relic from a saint is brought to the church and everyone goes up to the front to touch/kiss it), I finally told my mom, “ya know, tonight I saw so many people crying because they felt God and the Holy Spirit; but I cried because I felt nothing.” That realization hit me very hard at the time, and it took years before I was fully okay with it. I kept trying to go back to mass, but the thing that finally broke my shelf completely was when I met with the priest to discuss participating in church services again. He instructed me to do penance for the “sin” of having my son out of wedlock. I never tried again after that; an institution that treats a child as a sin isn’t anything I want a part of.

[@RancorousSea]

A lot of those people don't feel anything either. Most people like the utility of religion, they don't really give a fuck about anything other than that aspect. That's why they're constantly in denial, lying to themselves and everyone else. Their brains literally cannot cope without the utility, even if they don't believe 5% of the religion. Religion is like capitalism to them, it's the status quo and thus sacred for that reason alone. They don't understand it or benefit from it, but they know it is a sacred obligation and will literally die to defend it. When people like you try to question it, they can't defend it even an iota and they take it out on you because admitting they're full of shit and have been for decades would be harder than sawing off their own arm. If I really thought these people genuinely believed in the mythology I'd hate them less, but they don't. They just like the power of Christianity and don't care who suffers as long as they get to join the special book club run by lying thieving pedophiles. Good thing you got your son out of there, who knows what they'd have done to him.

[@ramblingsofadash5159]

My mom divorced her abusive husband after he cheated on her. When she went to a new church she was automatically shunned for being a divorcee even tho she was one cheated and beaten on. That was the day I learned to be a good person meant you had to be a bad Christian.

[@marissareynoso2325]

Hi Lucy! I’m currently Catholic and honestly I can relate and empathize with you a lot about not feeling anything. It almost made me lose my faith so I totally understand you. The only thing that helped me is that my feelings aren’t facts, even then it’s difficult though. I hope this makes you feel less alone. And about the priest saying that you need to repent. I’m sorry if he said it to you in an insensitive way. I can say though that as a Catholic fornication is deemed a sin. And I’m so sorry if the priest implied that your sons existence is a sin because he is absolutely not he is an amazing blessing to this world and anything said otherwise is a lie.

[@marissareynoso2325]

@@ramblingsofadash5159I’m so sorry this happened to your mother. The people who shunned your mother are evil!! They should be ashamed to call themselves Christians. That being said a true Christian would never shun someone especially the abused who need much more support and love. How cruel, I’m so sorry your mother went through that.

[@liaSusan-k9z]

Thank you

[@DRayL_]

It's where it starts, the questions about the faith, even asking church leadership AND "getting more into god". I did all those things for a long long time while trying to keep my faith secure. Ultimately, it wasn't ever going to be secure because there was no actual foundation to stand on and no "god" that ever showed up, so I left and finally became an honest person.

[@mjjoe76]

I’ve heard that from many people. It really makes the dismissive comments like “you just want to sin” seem really ignorant and disrespectful.

[@DRayL_]

@@mjjoe76 When people say "you just wanna sin", they really do not know just how offensive it is. Let's assume I actually did believe in "a god", and just "wanted to sin". Under this paradigm, I would also "believe I would see loved ones again in Heaven", so rejecting "a god so i can sin" is the most absurdly insulting thing ever, because of course I'd want to see loved ones again, and no "sin" would ever be remotely enough. So yes, very ignorant and disrespectful. Thanks for the reply! 🙂

[@Twapska]

Same here, I was a true believer who had never known anything else. I was seeking really hard and wanted to know more, go further into theology and learn about the original texts and... Oh. Well, if those beliefs collapsed from simply learning about the basics of how people study the Bible, uh.... Seems like they weren't very robust beliefs, huh. And that's why I will never give 100% of myself to a belief system again. 😂

[@sharimeline3077]

@@mjjoe76 That just shows how boxed-in they are, because in order to "want to sin," you would still have to believe in their God and believe there is sin defined by that God. They can't conceive of a life where you are free of that thinking.

[@danilooliveira6580]

I legitimately believe if you are questioning your faith you shouldn't talk with your religious leader, because they are just going to try to guilty you with the same platitudes and tell you to do things that are not helpful at all. you should talk with an agnostic or atheist advocate instead, because they will talk with you with sincerity and share their experiences, if after that you are still clinging to your faith then its probably strong enough for you to recover it, maybe not the same faith as before, but instead something that makes you feel better, and if not then you have someone to support you through this transition.

[@gooadam]

That's extremely kind-hearted to give them so much credence for allowing the husband to speak out... buuuut, part of her whole living-in-faith shtick involves conceding to your husband's will. Her life advice sort of collides with the male half of the couple deconstructing his faith and allows for a one-sided alteration to her beliefs by proxy. I think her willingness to let him speak out is more of duty than respect is what I'm saying.

[@vixxcelacea2778]

Sadly that's entirely possible. I think that's a major reason both my grandparents were religious. Because my grandfather was after believing in the whole "death and taxes" bleakness due to abuse as a kid. Then questioning the hell out of his faith before he passed on.

[@AW-uv3cb]

I'm not sure. In their video about the Barbie movie Bethany was more than ready to disagree and talk over her husband. Clearly, despite the things that she professes (like "women should focus on the home and children, and not preach", meanwhile she is actually a working mum with her online business focused on preaching haha), she actually has a mind of her own. Also, there are many people who would preach humility and submission while actually acting in a very self-centred and prideful way, so I don't think the doctrine of wifely submission would stop her from showing discontent. While I heavily disagree with most of the things that she preaches, I really want to look at her behaviour in this video positively and give credit where credit is due. Like Emma says, it can't have been easy for her either, and she is acting in this video in exactly the way you'd like a supportive spouse to act. I'd even go as far as to say that this is the most at ease and tender and natural I've ever seen them act in a video (when she preaches, she takes on a very intense tone, almost like she's trying to convince herself as much as others. Here she appears quite relaxed) - although this is, obviously, a completely subjective opinion on my part. The future will tell, but I'm hoping this will be a new beginning for them both - might even lead her to a more open-minded approach.

[@gooadam]

My point was less about her actions and more about her words. It's like telling people to not do drugs while doing lines. If the audience is receptive to the messages rather than living by examples as most christybobs are prone to, it's just a practice in hypocrisy rather than life advice. Removing the whole "foundation of the family" from the equation (ie patriarchy), it'd be much easier to empathize with. It's like that new Supreme Court Justice Barrett... her faith is an even more extreme version of this which makes her position on the court a rather strange issue. Her extreme patriarchal beliefs would imply she has to ask her husband for advice on cases based on the moral quandaries she could have. And while that could be rare or non-existent in her work, her belief system always makes that a question to be asked no matter how consistent she might not seek her husband for leadership. It sounds sexist to criticize women who are fundamentalists.... but seriously, they are on the "sexism good" side of it while also being in a position to make that problematic for being a woman. It makes some careers less accessible to women that aren't secular for that possibility of the patriarchal role subverting it.

[@vortex_1336]

Untrue. Christian churches limit the husband's authority once it hits church matters. IE: A husband can't order his Christian wife to not go to church. She would be 100% fine in disobeying that.

[@RoburDrake]

Cherry-picking Emma's quote out of context: "This is a nice American, Christian, heterosexual couple who share..."

[@diamondflaw]

“I see no problem with quote mining” -Mattie Powlette

[@TheHeavyshadow]

"I just love a big worm" ~ Emma Thorne, 4:38

[@happymaskedguy1943]

They’re all evil until one of them is someone important to you. Then suddenly the hardliners develop empathy. Not always, sadly. But still, I find it hard to celebrate considering the reckless hate these cretins gleefully spread and profited from beforehand.

[@philw6056]

Therefore it will be interesting to see what she does in the near future: Will she hide from this topic and maybe even take a social media break? Which on one hand would be understandable if personal and professional matters are conflicting, but on the other hand, it also protects her sphere of influence with all its associated statements. Or will this situation change her perspective and at least influence her future content? Or will she stay on her path and with her convictions, despite she doesn't live by it anymore?

[@ichbrauchmehrkaffee5785]

Of course it makes a difference when it's someone close to you, because know you no longer have that emotional distance you had to complete strangers. I think the fact, that they're willing to develop that empathy is a huge step, because you cannot take that kind of reaction for granted. She could just as well try and a: distance herself from him b: try to talk him out of it But facing this issue head on, like she does, is a very mature way to handle it. People make mistakes, sometimes big ones, but they should be allowed to reflect on them

[@katieisbell5571]

I was in the situation where one spouse deconstructed and the other had not. I grew up Lutheran and my husband grew up Pentecostal (the kind where they would 'speak in tongues' but one step short of the 'god will protect me from snakes' people). I deconstructed first. It was a process and took me about a year and a read through of the entire bible to get to a place where I was comfortable saying I am an atheist. I didn't push him or anything and our marriage still did really well with me deconstructing/atheist and him christian. I understood the conditioning from a very young age so I didn't really feel too frustrated. It took time, but I also got to a point where I don't really care how people got to the point of being a decent human being, as long as they got there (and don't try to dictate how others live). My husband did have a genuine desire to understand what I thought and why through that process. I would try to be gentle and just state the facts in answering, and only when asked. This led him to also trying a read-through of the bible. He got part way through Exodus and just very suddenly came to the conclusion that it wasn't for him. We have both been happily atheist together ever since. I can't lie about it, I would love to see it go this way for Dav and Bethany too.

[@AW-uv3cb]

That's a great story, I'm happy for you and your husband - and yeah, it's great if Dav and Bethany went this way too 🙂

[@meghanworkman6449]

While I don't doubt Bethany's support for Dav, I suspect that as time goes on, she'll grow more and more frustrated that Dav isn't "returning to the fold". I can see her hoping that this is a phase with him that he'll snap out of, and then life will go back to "normal". The real acid test of her love and support for him will be a couple years down the road when he's still not returned to Christianity and her hope (per the bible) that she can win him back to the lord with her love for him has evaporated. It'll be interesting to see which fork in the road she takes when that time inevitably comes.

[@dannycomellas]

This. Especially with her job, she's going to hear from SO MANY people in her comments and such that she can win Dav back.

[@emilwandel]

But marriage is for life... Maybe she will start deconstructing too.

[@RancorousSea]

@@emilwandel SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY! Patriarchy vs Religion thunderdome. Who will win??? Thousands of years of domestic slavery???? Thousands of years of cultural slavery!? Normally fighting hand in hand, these two brothers must now fight their biggest threat : EACH OTHER! Man VS God, December 25th, 2024 get your tickets NOW!!!

[@cass2303]

I thought he would not be a Christian as he's stating and then say he's gay

[@biologezwei]

I have no doubt that she hopes that, but I have a slightly different take on it. IMO, Bethany's faith is very shallow. Not in the sense that she doesn't believe very strongly, but in the sense that it is very unreflected. Women in fundie culture aren't raised to question things and think critically about issues themselves. They are taught to go to a male leader (father, husband, pastor) and let them "explain" it to them, or rather, explain it away. I don't think that she has seriously grappled with any faith-related issue herself. Practically, she might have dismissed certain parts of what she was taught, but I do not think that she ever thought about what that meant for her faith, or what she believes and why. I do think that Dav's deconstruction will force her to actually confront beliefs that she just held without ever questioning. "People become atheist because they want to sin", or "Atheists are all miserable nihilists", for an easy example. She'll be on the receiving end of the ugly side of her faith group for the first time, too, the dogmatism, rigidity of thinking, the holier than thou attitude, the condescension etc. I think it is entirely possible that she deconstructs parts of her faith alongside him in a more reflected way, away from the dogmatism of the fundamentalist Evangelical church. I don't think she would have reacted in the way she did if she was biding her time until he returns to the fold. She's known for a long time that they disagreed on faith issues, and she was happy enough to agree to disagree. Afaik, they had already switched churches to go to a less fundie church, too, which is another sign that she is more flexible than you'd expect. On a related note, Bethany is not a good fit for a fundie woman. She's extroverted, she's let slip here and there that she had other dreams growing up - going to college on a basketball stipendium, modelling, there were other instances when her mother has stopped her from doing things that she wanted. She didn't grow up with the dream of becoming a trad wife. On the contrary, I think that she's had to stifle parts of her personality for a long time, and Dav deconstructing might even give her the permission (not from Dav, from within herself) to be her own genuine self.

[@DoYouLoveTheSilverHairedGod]

“I even found myself wanting Christianity to not be true” We’ll have I got a surprise for you, buddy!

[@diamondflaw]

I’m sorry, but “Well” not “We’ll”.

[@adnankhalid8457]

​@@diamondflaw🤓👆

[@vittoriovatteroni7375]

after that video you made a couple of months ago, about another girl who talked about a biblically submissive woman, I asked myself: 'but if a man has the final word on everything, what happens if he changes religion or becomes an atheist? do we stay together? the no divorce rule with one exception? do we stay together in the hope of converting him back? I know it's not the same person but I'm curious to see where it goes.

[@hannajung7512]

at least according to the bible she is suppossed to stay with him and be an example of love and forgiveness for him, that by her example he can come closer to Jesus.

[@danilooliveira6580]

@@hannajung7512 actually, I don't know about that. I need to check it, but the bible doesn't have many examples o people completely losing their faith that isn't just an allegory about how god's love is eternal and you will recover your faith. I don't think there is any teaching on the bible about this case in specific.

[@jeffmacdonald9863]

I can definitely see making a distinction between choosing to yoke yourself to a non-believer and remaining with one who's deconverted. I don't know enough about her specific doctrine on divorce, but it seems quite reasonable to have one set of guidelines for who you should marry and another for what's sufficient to leave a marriage. That's why you should be so careful getting in, because of the difficulties and consequences of getting out.

[@caffetiel]

​@@danilooliveira6580 Pauline epistles. There's no stories in the Bible about believers falling away except in the Tanakh about kings being led astray by foreign women and bringing ruin to Israel lmao

[@elmoworld850]

Well, according to the Bible the only reason to divorce is when there is infidelity involved. The Bible doesn't talk about when your spouse looses their faith. It does say if your spouse decides that they do not want to get married anymore, you should just let them go.

[@MinionofNobody]

After watching this video and reading some comments, I realize how different my deconversion experience was from that of most people. I was forty years old when I stopped at a red light on my way to work. I wasn’t especially thinking about God nor had I been struggling with my faith. I just suddenly realized that I no longer believed in God. The only emotion I experienced was relief because I was now intellectually free to explore all of the subjects that I had ignored or compartmentalized.

[@garbagegnomeking]

Lol, you gained consciousness

[@Rhaifha]

Lol, I think Dav talked about how there's 2 types of deconstruction, the type where you closely look at every metaphorical brick and decide what yoy want to do with it, and the type where it suddenly and spontaneously just all falls apart. I think I agree with that, though I also think most people who've gone through deconstruction have had a bit of both.

[@AMoniqueOcampo]

I really hope that Dav and Bethany don't end up divorcing. Bethany seems so much happier. I can't help but hope that she ends up deconstructing herself.

[@byroad3]

Dav has been showing signs of deconstruction for a while now. I do think that Bethany reacted so well in this video! It made me like her a lot more. It will be interesting to see how they manage this going forward.

[@nikobaehr3638]

I first started seeing those signs around the Barbie movie review. Dude wanted to like the movie it seemed.

[@CorwinFound]

The thing with conservatives is that they can be empathetic... when it's someone close to them. Bethany absolutely promoted the idea that Christians should limit their contact with non-believers and has shown true callousness to those in the "out groups." The question becomes if through this situation she learns to extend that empathy beyond her immediate circle. I doubt it but time will tell.

[@RancorousSea]

This is the only time she's ever come off halfway decent.

[@sunsetdev]

Thank you for acknowledging how terrible these people are before speaking positively about them.

[@theoriginalpandanon]

It’s a regional thing. Some Americans curse, some cuss, and here in New England we swear too.

[@cuzned1375]

We do ‘em _all_ here in Nashville! 😋

[@xErinxx]

Yep. In Hawaii I mostly hear “swear”

[@McNerdius]

I mostly hear "swear", sometimes "cuss", rarely "curse". Seems like curse is used as a "softer" term... people who say "shit" might call it "swearing", where people who say "poop" might call it "cursing" ... (Colorado/Nebraska/Illinois region here.)

[@hesjustthisguyyaknow]

her "we love each other uniquely" is exactly the same thing as every other case where supposedly devout christians confront a situation where their hard line dogmatism requires them to make a choice they really don't like. you see it a lot with anti-abortionists. when their kid gets pregnant, it's ok for their kid to get an abortion because it's a special case. (the special case being it'll fuck up their kid's life instead of some random stranger's life)

[@yoweedmofo19897]

Absolutely

[@EmeraldLavigne]

"god's law" for thee, "we love each other uniquely" for we.

[@rutheames979]

This exactly.

[@leothenomad5675]

Read a book titled "The only moral abortion is my abortion" it covers exactly what you are talking about.

[@RancorousSea]

God : I'll throw you into eternal hellfire if you do these arbitrary things, the things you tell everyone not to do every day Fundamentalist : Nah, I'd win

[@markbutler408]

"He Curses" Omg the American Voice! Can we get a puppet who shows up and talks to you in your American?

[@krimsonklaww611]

"nice is different than good" Nice Guys (TM) in a nutshell.

[@naxxtor]

So much sympathy for Dav. I was once in a long term relationship with a fundie Christian who could not date non-fundie Christians. She "converted" me in order to comply with what her Church taught her. It was made very clear by both her and her Church that if i were ever to not be a Christian, i would no longer be welcome in their lives. At the point i realised how damaging trying to maintain such a severe cognitive dissonance was to my mental health, i knew it was over - and i was entirely right. I lost a partner and my social group suddenly shrank by an order of magnitude - overnight. It was pretty horrible for my then ex partner too, through no fault of her own. I can only imagine how frightening going through something like that would be for someone in Davs position, so having the courage to even remotely suggesting "deconstructing" is laudible.

[@doubtingflock1073]

For anyone who is confused a pasta is a pastor for the flying spaghetti monster

[@PaulSmith-kx8cs]

$169.00 to purposely learn nothing? Sign me up.

[@sniperwolf50]

Make it $420.69 and you can count me in too

[@Nojintt]

I'd rather pay $1,337

[@sniperwolf50]

@@Nojintt At this point, you might as well make it $58,008

[@lukedegraaf1186]

How about we all chip in and share the experience. God loves sharing.

[@toluadejumo8596]

​@@sniperwolf50 mate, £58,008 is way too cheap to be true . Now £86,000, that's a price I'd pay for a useless course

[@chrisjones5949]

I remember, once I went to college and was on my own in my 20s, that I stopped going to church every Sunday. I still went sometimes, but I often just didn't feel like getting up early and going through the motions for something I did only out of a sense of obligation, when instead I could just lie to my parents and SAY I went so they'd get off my back. I think once I stopped marinating in that environment every week, that's when I started to snap out of it. The more I thought about it independently, the less sense it made. For a while, I still considered myself a Christian, though not an especially devout one. Then it eventually became agnostic, and now I just call myself nonreligious. There's a bit of irony in the fact that I'm a much better person now than I ever was when I was a "Christian."

[@vixxcelacea2778]

Group think is a huge part of cults, religions and routines. We're empowered by others like us having faith, agreeing on fact or otherwise affirming that something is a thing to do. People call it being a sheep, but it's not bad to be a sheep because you grow community and bonds. Issue is when the sheep don't know where they are going or are doing something that's harmful as a collective. I think a balance between collective and individuality is what allows us to thrive. Too far into one or the other and you just plain lose perspective. Too wrapped up in the self or too wrapped up in the other. I went through a kind of similar thing in the same age range. Distance helps a lot with perspective.

[@isaacbenrubi9613]

Incoming long post about my deconstruction experience TLDR: Deconstructing is hard and often leads to places and things you didn't expect When I was a child, I was raised in a fairly religious household. My parents' church identified as "non-denominational" and was generally pretty casual. I played guitar and bass in their band. I grew up learning scripture and having a close friendship with several people there. Around the age of 17, I had started to become very unsure about everything that I was told. I know it's a bit cliché, but my mind couldn't reconcile things to the way I knew the world worked on a scientific level. To be honest, it was terrifying at the time. When the pastors/elders/whatevers of the church would speak about the various miracles that God had performed, or acts of Jesus that were deemed miraculous, I found myself questioning those who were telling me these things. It started simple for me. Little things like, "well, it doesn't explicitly say that sex before marriage is bad" in The Bible; or "why is God all about bringing healing in 'this season,' and yet there are thousands of people that die every single day due to poverty, war, and other things?" Stuff like "The Bible says" just didn't sit right with me anymore. There was no way for my mathematical (and as I later discoverd, Autistic) brain to get around the idea of these things being unprovable, yet stated with such zeal. In fact, I got in trouble once because a youth pastor said something, and I said something like, "well, THIS book (can't remember what book) says..." and it was directly contradictory to what that pastor had said. The first blow had been struck. Fast forward a bit to college and I got exposed to so many different peoples, cultures, and walks of life. I had never really known anyone from outside of my little church community, but I was absolutely elated to learn about other peoples' lifestyles. I made friends with a Venezuelan girl who was a staunch Catholic while simultaneously befriending the Lebanese Muslim guy who sat next to her in Calculus. It was absolutely amazing to see them coming from such different places, yet still getting along and not feeling uneasy or fearful of each other. All that old fearmongering of "do not be unequally yoked" or "know Jesus know peace, no Jesus no peace" stuff had started to make less and less sense. I think the first major strike was when the girl I was absolutely certain I'd be marrying (a girl from the aforementioned church) told me that she "sensed things" and couldn't be with me anymore, but that I had taught her how much she was worth and what she deserved in a relationship. I was absolutely crushed. I told my mom, at the age of 13, that I'd be marrying that girl some day, and now I was out in the cold. Alone. What I had thought about for my future all those years had been stripped from me, and I did not know what to do. I searched far and wide to find some sort of logic or reason for it. I tried other churches, other faiths, science. I was close to killing myself out of despair. Thankfully, I held on, and got some counseling, but that really started putting a wedge between me and my old church group. "Counseling was for the weak" was the general consensus there, even if it wasn't explicitly stated. "Just let go and let God," as the saying goes. My friends were drifting farther from me, and I became less involved, and as I became less involved, the divide became too great to close. I had never felt so alone. My world view had started to fall apart. My family wasn't much help, as they were still going to that church, and I had a minimal support system. I didn't know what to do. I think the thing that ultimately, to use the term, "saved" me was when I ran into some old college friends. Secular friends. People that I could speak to about things and they wouldn't put some sort of pall on me. I found peace in their friendship and I learned, over time, that what I had wasn't nothing. It was actually just something I wasn't really able to understand until I saw it from the outside. I had freedom. I had knowledge of the world. I had basically been put in a similar situation to Adam and Eve. I ate from the tree of knowledge and was kicked out of Eden. Come to find out, the land outside of Eden is fascinating. There's a lot of cool people and fun things out there. I hope that Dav can continue his journey and learn the same. He can still have faith, but framing it through the eye of someone who has critical thinking skills and life experience can make it even better. It's a difficult journey and a very challenging time, but in my experience, it is 100% worth it. Sorry for the long post. Keep being awesome, Emma. You're the best little guy on the intarwebs

[@isaacbenrubi9613]

There's more stuff, but WAY too much for a YT comment.

[@sarahr8311]

Thank you for sharing this

[@insertianameia2224]

I was just recently watching a Fundies Friday reaction video about them and how Dav really showed signs of this coming soon. I just didn't think he would come out about it this soon. I know he has been in therapy for a while now amd has been showing signs for a while. I say good for him and I'm happy to see him making progress. He deserves to be welcomed with open arms. Deconstruction is a long and often arduous process that requires destroying and reconstructing your ENTIRE world view as well as having to develop, as an adult, new coping skills that were denied to them learning as a child. I hope he does well. ❤️

[@thrumbo1603]

I guess that Christian sex guide wasn’t cutting it and he needed to experience something a little more nondenominational.

[@pattheplanter]

But men often badger women to try something more fundamental, I hear.

[@joejoelesh1197]

It'll take me awhile to be convinced that we should take this on face value. Don't forget that they are grifters. This is just as likely another grift. This time he sticks a toe in the deconstruct pool, with no intention of going any further, so he can big up that he deconstructed but came right back to "the truth of God".

[@AW-uv3cb]

That's a very cynical approach and, judging from what we've seen of Dav till now and the way he talked while still technically a Christian, and the way Bethany talked about him and other issues, I don't think you're right. If you are, it would mean that everything he said in the past was very carefully scripted - do you really think they're both such amazing writers and actors as to pull it off so convincingly and with such nuance, and that they'd really risk losing fans (which they will) over this in the hope of doing a big switcheroo in the future? The more likely option is that he's simply telling the truth (and yes, who knows, he might end up believing eventually. Doesn't mean that it's all an act, it just means that people go on different journeys in their life. My dad was brought up Catholic, then throughout all my life he considered himself an atheist, then a few years ago started going to church again. You just never know. For now, I'm rooting for him. I've been there too).

[@RancorousSea]

They're terrible liars, I don't think they have the capability or capacity.

[@BooksRebound]

I'm admittedly brain-broken, but I lowkey have a crush on Dav and wanna be his friend. I feel like he needs some queer people in his life to show him the strict life-scripts people are given at birth can be tossed in the shredder at any time.

[@salyx]

Thankfully Zelph on the Shelf are going all in. They are planning a trip to Texas to visit them!

[@raspberryitalia3464]

I was raised in a faith very similar to bethy's and I deconstructed in silence for years before ever being able to verbalize that I simply didn't believe what I'd been taught. Bethy has even more to lose because she's built her livelihood on these things, not to mention her entire community. I'm genuinely thrilled for Dav, and it really is beautiful to see the support and love they have for one another, but I remain frustrated by Bethy overall. She has a transphobic book coming out this year, so this journey she might be on doesn't absolve her of any of the harm she has and continues to cause. I can only hope her growth continues and she eventually recognizes how much she has to atone for.

[@lucihauser7654]

I have been an atheist for 13 years now. I was baptized Catholic. Then, I went to a few Christian churches in my area. I was a buhdist for a year then at 13, I decided I was an athiset after my brother converted me. I have a hard time understanding people who have deconstructed later in life. I can't imagine how overwhelming and scary it must be. I wish there were more athiset churches or groups so people didn't have to lose their sinse of community as much.

[@Quoxz]

That was pretty much how much how I came about my deconstruction. A lot of doubts and questions being met with "Pray harder and believe harder". A lot of "Pray harder, believe harder" being met with nothing, from the *all loving glorb*. So I left to find something elsewhere.

[@Daniel-Star]

Unfortunately hypocrisy is very common in religious people.

[@mykeljmoney]

Being terrified of how my deconstruction would affect my close relationships is precisely why I have stagnated. I’m afraid to move further from religion, but I can’t go back either. It’s wrong. So I’m stuck for the time being

[@sharimeline3077]

It's ok, take your time. If you're able, find a therapist that you can talk to about it.

[@danilooliveira6580]

I'm actually lucky that most people I have a relationship with are fine with my lack of faith, they are not exactly accepting, and talking about religion and politics can be a slog, but overall we don't hold a grudge against each other. sadly having friends with strong faith is a bit harder, because we can have differences in opinion that are almost impossible to conciliate.

[@stevenbatke2475]

For myself, I compiled a list of reasons why I don’t believe. It helped me feel more confident. In fact, the more I learned about scripture, the more I could back up why the religion is nonsensical, using their “biblical worldview” against them. Not to be antagonistic, but to show that thought about this quite deeply.

[@gdutfulkbhh7537]

Wouldn't it be funny if the other people in your orbit felt the same way. You might be surprised how many people have shrugged off their programming, but choose to "fly under the radar".

[@EspadaKing777]

I find this whole "deconstruction" fascinating from a psychological perspective. I think I've been very fortunate to have been raised in an agnostic household, as I genuinely don't have a good personal reference for what "deconstructing' a belief framework even...is... What does it mean to "stagnate" in this process? Does that mean still going through the practical demonstration of faith while lacking it, or does this literally mean the process of changing a belief has somehow gotten stuck in the middle? Because the latter just doesn't compute for me 😅

[@dewardroy6531]

Emma Thorne, Your empathy and compassion are heartwarming and inspiring. You are so much more than just “a funny little guy.” Be well, dear Emma.

[@djjayyy5136]

Deconstructing my faith was the best thing I did I’m so happy now and you really helped with that I hope he is able to deconstruct !!

[@RoburDrake]

Hidden history reminds me of how I used to watch someone who did stage combat, but I found out she was making TERF statements. It was so disappointing.

[@sarahr8311]

If it's the "just stab me now" person, I share your disappointment

[@salyx]

Same.

[@MorgenPeschke]

​@sarahr8311 I follow her and missed this, do you have a link or breadcrumb I could use to track it down?

[@sarahr8311]

@@MorgenPeschke googling her name and transphobic brings up the reddit thread with the links I followed.

[@MorgenPeschke]

@sarahr8311 thanks for the heads-up. I hadn't seen anything, and assumed because of that it would be harder to find 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@Charliesreptiles]

I mean, if you wanted to be snarky, and blunt, you would go back to the fact that if Dave seriously DID have the the same values as Bethany, she simply couldn´t have her position as an influencer. I had always thought that the worst thing about Girl Defined telling women to submit to their husbands is that THEY themselves have picked husbands who would probably never seriously espect serious submission, in a way that might hurt them. they were basically cosplaying a submissive wife. And telling EVERY woman to be submissive, no matter what that husband might be like. Of course she likes being a Christian, as a cis straight white, priviledged woman with a husband who is kind and gentle and always puts her first!

[@jupeskat]

On the topic of Bethany changing her views about "unequally yoked relationships" - I don't see her changing her stance. From the Christian perspective, this situation is different. When she married Dav, she believed she was marrying a Christian. Outside of instances of abuse, as long as the non-believing spouse is okay with you practicing your faith, divorce is not encouraged. So there would still be the warning against knowingly getting into that kind of relationship.

[@donaldbraucher9885]

They are casual about the hate because they rationalize the criticisms as persecution

[@richardgarrison2842]

I was married to a woman of faith for 19 years (our marriage only ended due to her passing away). I never hid the fact that I didn't/couldn't believe in the god of Abraham. She held her faith until the end, I never tried to coerce her into believing the way I do. She was a very accepting woman. I grew up seeing that my parents had some very different views on some subjects and saw that you can have different beliefs and still love each other. You just have to be open and some things just have to accept if they really aren't that important to you.

[@perryjohnson7529]

For terrible snoring, might want to check for sleep apnea. I've got it and with a CPAP the snoring goes away. My wife will wake me from a sound sleep to tell me if I take off the mask in my sleep. :)

[@punkrockllama]

Emma voice: this is a net poggers innit 😂😂😂

[@lorwynmoontide]

TLDR; deconstruction is hard and leaving christianity is/can be hard and also take many many years for some. I grew up being told to only marry a christian man, despite the fact that I only dated 2 guys that were christian. I married an agnostic and found that a lot easier. We both disliked church and we could talk about faith without it being a "my way is right, yours is wrong". I was always told "dont question faith or god, otherwise you're wrong for doing so, god's word is law." Around 2009 I absolutely started questioning and by 2017, I was no longer christian and in 2019 I told my mother I was Pagan (which she hates)

[@sharimeline3077]

I think a lot of us saw this coming (a lot of people were rooting for him to deconstruct because we saw the signs), but didn't foresee Bethany handling it so well. Good for her. I do wonder about how it will be for them moving forward. There is the problem of them being "unequally yoked." We'll see what happens! I also want to mention that Bethany looks so relaxed, actually. And beautiful. Like her love for Dav just makes her blossom. Oh, and Paul & Morgan were total buttheads in their response. They are neither "good" nor "nice."

[@Nojintt]

This is my favorite Bella Thorne video yet!

[@Nojintt]

Ok so... I posted that sarcastic comment before I saw the video... but for real well done. I was expecting just react content, but instead this was legit very insightful.

[@robsquared2]

I'm calling it now: this is a grift because deconstructing is trending. He's always going back to his religion.

[@Leucanthema]

it would be funny if that was the starting point but ended in his actual deconstruction due to the fact he had to get some information about "the other side" and critical thinking

[@OMIF1]

The cynic in me says this is probably a stunt to drive viewers to their content...

[@iluvtacos1231]

Unless Bethany changes her ideas about LGBTQ+ people, I don't see them staying tigether long term.

[@JarlJimbo]

Lifelong Christian who deconstructed in the past few years. I was born into the church, and it's incredible how desperately you will cling to something that makes no rational sense whatsoever when you have never known anything else. I am 40 now, and didn't start deconstructing until my late 30s, but I think the faith had been waning for years already. The most difficult part of it for me is that almost all of my family and friends I grew up with are still believers, and I haven't actually even told anyone I am atheist outside my wife and kids. So that's the stage I'm in. The realization that I no longer believe god exists happened quickly, but tearing away decades of habits and beliefs has been painful and daunting. Looking back I am ashamed of holding onto beliefs that I now view as hateful. Fear is a powerful motivator, and it's easy to be afraid of supporting "sin" and being punished yourself even though that's what Jesus taught TO DO. The church doesn't breed Christ-like followers. It breeds drones that will follow directions, vote how you tell them, and support you if you claim to be godly, even if you're committing atrocities.

[@AW-uv3cb]

Wait, are you... me? Haha. There are a lot of similarities between us, I also deconstructed in my late 30's (I'm 40 now) and haven't officially told my family yet (I've told my friends, though, because they are non-believers). My mum has figured it out on her own, though, at least the fact that I don't practice anymore, but we don't really talk about it, just accept each other as we are.

[@JarlJimbo]

@@AW-uv3cb I think I will end up before too much longer, but it'll probably be organic. No need for a sit down at this point. lol

[@MindForgedManacle]

Ah Bella Thorne, my favorite KZbin creator 😅

[@archivist17]

Tbh, if I had to get mistaken for anyone, Bella would be a good one. 😄

[@thewrongshoes]

Nah, she probably thinks her love is going to bring him back to God. A often quoted verse by Christian women is " Be devoted to your own husbands, so that even if some of them do not obey the Word of God, your kind conduct may win them over without you saying a thing"

[@dark_natas_666]

From a Texan, my favorite word Emma says is 'Christain.' Her pronunciation of the word is excellent.

[@86BullnoseOG]

It’s very crisp sounding. If that makes any sense.

[@SidewaysWalker]

I was blown away by Bethy’s respect for Dav. They seem to have a good foundation to work through this together. I wish them well.

[@JosephMurphyRevised]

But did they get better? (Monty Python And The Holy Grail reference)

[@madcatdad42]

I don't think she turned him into a newt. But i could be wrong

[@sharimeline3077]

Silly, you're not supposed to put the reference, it spoils the joke. But hey, still love ya. Monty Python forever ❤

[@SocialistBoomer]

I love your style. You get to the point but insert your snark everywhere. I love it ❤❤❤

[@wkgmathguy218]

On 'being casual about hate', 64 years old here. When you would say one something about oldsters I thought 'Hey! I resemble that remark!' and snicker. Seriously, that you considered the matter in the way you have shows what we all know. You're a fabulous and lovely young lady.

[@clairemontgroux7480]

Bethany lade a Q&A on her stories on Instagram, and she said she still think a christian shouldn't date or married a non-christian, but that when you are married it's for life and the wife has to be a good christian to help her husband find his way back to Christianity, and she quote the Bible for that. She doesn't believe in divorce to remember, so for her it's not an option, and she feels responsible for her husband christianity too...

[@DracoGalboy]

Are we getting another one? Edit to add: best of luck to Dave, may his process go smoothly and as someone who's deconstructed... That work doesn't end, and I hope Beth's choice to stop and choose her faith above all else doesn't bring further harm to that family.

[@thelyrebird1310]

The church likes to say As Jesus's the head of the church, so is the husband to the family. Thus, she should be following her husband into disbelief!

[@glenndoverryan]

Yesssssss. Also, hello ditto! 😂😂 that shirt is dope fr

[@originalhazelgreene]

He's brave to publicly discuss this, given his community may not take it well

[@peterbrooks7120]

UNLESS… The whole video was staged. A calculated move so he can come back to Jesus in a future episode. Sorry, I don’t trust people.

[@lucaswillaford8648]

Emma’s voice is so comforting I love playing her videos when reading for background noise 😂

[@randomgenericdude]

Knowing how insidious Christian social media is, don't be surprised when he comes back home to Jesus. This could all be a work.

[@kholdanstaalstorm6881]

Regarding the snoring, please ask your partner getting that checked out, as it's a sign of sleep apnea and there are several methods for helping them correct the issues. Please check it out so it's caught early.

[@diamondflaw]

As someone who deals with the frustration of pharyngeal restriction and apnea… this is so important.

[@kholdanstaalstorm6881]

@@diamondflaw Agree, I'm a fellow sufferer and I didn't realize how bad it was until after a sleep test. I dunno how I could function as well as I did with the issues I had, as the test said that I barely had any unrestricted breathing while trying to sleep.

[@CharlesPayet]

@@kholdanstaalstorm6881as someone who treats sleep apnea with oral sleep appliances and snoring with lasers, I third the motion. That said, if this is a temporary thing brought on by being sick as a dog, it’s probably nothing to worry about. Here in the Southeast US, tons of people suffer from temporary snoring problems due to allergies & congestion.

[@JohnDarwin7]

Watching and seeing you grow is immensely satisfying to me thank you. Sending my love🌹💖🌹🖖

[@noshoes1588]

PLZ i was about to ask if you were a theatre kid and then you immediately sang into the woods 😭i love your commentary bc its clear the effort you put into research which i appreciate but also dude ur so funny like u got that theatrical spice in your videos - thanks for the new one enjoying so far!

[@serenityacheron]

❤What a respectful, lovely reaction to a such a complicated event. I'm so glad to have found your channel, having gone through deconstruction myself in the last few years, as a wife & mother. Thankfully my parnter was on the same page as me & we left the culture together. We now have a lovely little family of agnostics & atheists, with a lot of anxious religious relatives in wings. Everybody in our house is allowed to believe in whatever they want and respectful conversation is encouraged & happens daily. Leaving the church was the best choice we ever made. I wish this couple well through this challenging time. And thank you, Emma, for all your videos. They are a great comfort.

[@ianwebster3544]

New word of the day "POGGERS" it might catch on.

[@SamyasaSwi]

You haven't watched many streamers have you? 😁

[@sarahr8311]

It's apparently been an internet thing for quite some time. Which I only found out recently because I live under a rock 🪨

[@dinarocksyou]

My parents are interfaith (Mom grew up Catholic, now a progressive Protestant, and Dad is agnostic/atheist). They started out that way, so slightly different obvs, but they've been married for 42 years! And raised two pretty cool humans, if I do say so myself. (We both ended up on the atheist side, lol.)

[@tomdg13]

I'm another Christian who really enjoys your videos. That you show so much more grace than we tend to is brilliant and totally shames us, and thankyou for it

[@quinn0517]

Fabulous as always, Emma. Praise be to the algorithm.

[@wanderingjadah]

Dave is so brave to have these conversations. As a teenager it was enough for me to simply question Christianity for my family to tell me I was going to hell. When you’re indoctrinated and all of your family and peers seem to be perfect believers, you want so hard to not question and just ‘fit in’. I can’t imagine being married and going through something like this- being afraid you may lose your marriage.

[@whitneyr.846]

My husband was raised Unitarian, which really encourages every individual to explore and discover their own spiritual path, I was raised very loosely Lutheran, though we are both pretty agnostic. However, he is also of Jewish heritage and so we do embrace Jewish holidays and yeah our children Hebrew prayers. This to say, interfaith relationships can be done, but maybe that my perspective is formed because neither of us are devout in our beliefs and don't mind challenging out beliefs.. and neither of us identify as Christian at all

[@illegallyliving8357]

Very much sounds like my mom's best friend and her husband. She and her husband are culturally Muslim (still celebrates some Islamic holidays or something) but don't identify as Muslims. She was raised as Shia (which is kinda more progressive denomination of Islam) and her husband was loosely raised as a Sunni (most common denomination of Islam). They both were never devout in their beliefs and easily change their minds whenever they hear valid criticisms against their beliefs but they always had very fluid attitude towards critical viewpoints. I found it unique since Shia women often have to convert to Sunnism whenever they marry Sunni men. Maybe, interfaith relationship is possible when both spouses aren't super devout in their beliefs. I'm yet to see one fundie and one progressive in a relationship.

[@Photos-by-Lloyd]

Awesome video, Emma! ❤️

[@josephharris8547]

Hopefully, this isn't a stunt. I could see a book in which she brings her atheist husband back to God.

[@Enzar17]

Talking about the uniqueness of their relationship, it's interesting because my partner and I came from very different parts of Christianity (I from Catholicism, she from Lutheranism) but we both deconstructed together. We both went on philosophical faith journeys together. And we both landed on pagan pluralism together, and we're part of a very supportive, inclusive pagan community together. And I can't imagine what that would have been like if one of us had been involved in ministry with a livelihood dependent on remaining Christian, even more so if only one of us were deconstructing. At some point, the person sticking with the faith is going to have to turn their brain off and ignore the questions the other person is asking. If you're having true, deep, and honest conversations about it, I think it's inevitable that you will both end up moving in the same direction. It'll be very interesting to see where this ends up going as time wears on.

[@gageduke7652]

"I just love a big worm." - Bella Thorne, 2024

[@theshinydome1992]

I really appreciate your commentary here and how you acknowledge how different the perspectives are from faith-based and evidence-based. I relate a lot to the faith-based perspective. I was raised LDS and fully dive into trying to do the whole faith thing to be happy and good enough. I went to church every Sunday, I read all the scriptures, I prayed, I went on a mission, I was married in an LDS temple-I did EVERYTHING. And nothing ever worked for me. So I realized that either there is no God, or if there is a God that he is an asshole that I want nothing to do with. I got divorced. I left the church. I had a total identity crisis. After it all, I am a much different but better person. I'm always glad to see others find their own truth and happiness like I have.

[@erikwilson5001]

Nicely done! I greatly appreciate your perspective on this and your consideration and generosity toward Bethany as a whole person.

[@thomasprislacjr.4063]

Emma, we have to talk about City skylines 2 being just terrible

[@Ketraar]

that is objectively wrong.

[@ehenningsen]

I enjoy it, tbh. I do have an RTX 4090 and am able to play with most of the settings maxed out. The 5090 is going to be a monster which should have the standard 2x raytracing performance uplift (50-70% basic raster alone).

[@JarredTheWyrdWorker]

Okay, I don't know what Bethany's beliefs regarding salvation and the afterlife are. For all I know, she might have always believed in universal reconciliation or something similar. However, given some of her other views, I'd assume that she grew up believing that non-Christians (and possibly even people who weren't "the right kind of Christian") would face eternal torment. If that is the case, I'm curious if her views have changed that. And if they haven't changed, I'd be very curious how she's squaring the fact that her beliefs now tell her that her husband is most likely headed for the lake of fire.

[@KristiChan1]

From what I recall watching other videos about them years ago on other YT channels, she and her sister Kirsten definitely don't like non believers and even other christians who don't follow their version. There was a whole thing between them and God Is Grey some time ago; can't remember the exact details, but there's plenty of videos covering it if you're interested.

[@secutorprimus]

I hope Dave is able to continue along this journey, and that his deconstruction isn't strangled by his social obligations, and the incredibly public way they've chosen to reveal this information (to an audience that will do everything they can to "support" him). I remember the first time I dared to describe myself as an Agnostic -- in front of people, no less -- and my chest tightened, I stopped being a part of the conversation, and all I wanted to do was go home and cry. It's *really* difficult, and the Faith has inbuilt failsafes for stopping people from continuing with their deconstruction. One of those *being*, of course, permeating someone's life so completely that coming out to talk about it with others is built to be a funnel towards "strengthening one's faith", as the alternative is being seen as a broken thing, resistant to being fixed. I really hope for Dave. He has a lot stacked against him, should he internally still feel conflict. It's a really difficult, emotional process, and it *never* ends; all the moreso, if it's done in a way that puts eyes on you.

[@kermitthorson9719]

right from the start im very skeptical. is he actually questioning with the chance of discarding his faith? or is this just clickbait BS with girl defined just wanting to capitalize on the deconstruction thing and of course the girls couldn't question their faith even if fake. but the husbands can " deconstruct" and then the wives bring them back and it all just another sermon., lets see

[@wadehathawaymusic]

Interesting, I was thinking along these lines also. I then beat myself up, feeling I was being too judgemental. So I settled for hoping for the best, for them both, but I won't be surprised, nor really disappointed, if it is all a ruse. If it is a ruse, I'd admit to it being a good marketing move.

[@sharimeline3077]

I don't think it's in their nature to lie in this way. But you have every right to be skeptical of them, and it's probably the smart thing to think. Like you said, we'll see!

[@danilooliveira6580]

its hard to say, I don't know enough of her content to know if she is one of those conpeople using faith for personal gain or if she relly do strongly believe everything she says and making money is just a bonus from helping people. if its the first then its very much possible that all of this is just a giant ploy to get attention and then use it as an example to strenghten her opinions when he magically return to his faith, and she has a new book about the experience. if its the second then its possible she really is taking is seriously and making it public is just a form of therapy for them and to show people that married life can be hard sometimes.

[@kermitthorson9719]

@@danilooliveira6580 i disagree that these people are capable of that level of self reflection. not saying 100% grifter. just saying even believers can be scammers

[@danilooliveira6580]

@@kermitthorson9719 never said they CAN'T be scammers, but we need to remember that they can also be legitimate believers that actually want to help people, those people exist. and that is my point, since I don't have much inside knowledge on them, its hard to say what they are.

[@stormchaser419]

Can't wait for the "He was never truly a Christian" She is going to FEEL that comment firsthand NOW and what that feels like now that it's directed at her husband.

[@The-Doubters-Diary]

As embarrassing as this is to admit, when I was a Christian, I used to think people left the church to "sin."😅. Which is just so incredibly stupid when you think about it. Why would someone risk losing the chance to live forever to sin? Heck, you can just stay in the faith, keep saying your sorry and slide into heaven on a wing and a prayer 😅

[@yyzhed]

I saw Biz post a video about this and was hoping you would as well. Very cool!

[@robertbetz8461]

I am an old guy, and I agree with criticizing "old guy" thinking. Change is usually initiated by the young and passionate. Fir example, many scientists do revolutionary science when young but get conservative and resistant to change when they older.

[@mathijskraan3606]

New to the channel and I (never subscribe to anything but) subscribed in Emma’s case because I NEED to hear all the goddammit, Connlas 🎉

[@katehall101]

I deconstructed about 5 years ago when i was deciding whether or not I wanted to accept my sexuality or continue suppressing it for the sake of my faith. Its really encouraging watching this process for Dave and Bethy - even having gone through this a long time ago. I hope one day I will be in a relationship with someone who can be as patient and loving as these two are together.

[@EaglesQuestions]

At some point, it all just comes down to how honest you are with yourself.

[@AB-80X]

Damn Emma! I gotta hand it to you. I'm having a much harder time with this than you, and I'm a lot less empathetic. I have a hard time seeing him supporting what she does. I try to not be what I don't want others to be, but it's hard with these two. In my humble opinion he should leave her, because I genuinely see her as a properly horrible person and grifter. I really applaud you Emma, and hopefully I can at some point become as accepting as you are. Keep doing what you're doing You're a better man than I🤗

[@BriarLeaf00]

For someone feeling under the weather you really nailed this one. I've been enjoying the gaming channel as well.