Gollum is way worse than even our lowest expectations (Review)

[@SkillUp]

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[@williamjames3313]

Make all the DILF jokes you want, but DOROTHY MANTOOTH IS A SAINT YOU HEAR ME??? DOROTHY MANTOOTH IS A SAINT!!!!

[@craig3642]

15/10 Gollum voice. Actually beats Andy Serkis.

[@sabbylmao]

Still waiting for code SHILLUP

[@spf50sunscreen80]

Obligatory "do not buy manscaped products, EVER". They are severely overpriced for the Alibaba 4 dollar shaver you get. Just buy a Wahl and don't rip yourself off.

[@morbidkoolaide]

@@spf50sunscreen80 I have had a Wahl for 8 or 9 years and that thing is still going strong. It was a Christmas gift and it is one that I will treasure forever. Of course, I also have a straight razor that I use to get the cleanest shave ever.

[@DolanDarker]

It looks like a PS3 game with facial animations from a PS2 game, truly a masterpiece of all time

[@orwhynotrandom3593]

Gday funny goose man

[@SkillUp]

Oh hai Dolan

[@MaxiChannel16]

I’m so glad the Tolkien Estate is so defensive of the IP and only allows the best projects to go ahead! Right?

[@Tibovl]

You shouldn't diss the PS2 & PS3 like that.

[@T1tusCr0w]

Yeah but some of the textures were fkimg epic.. alongside some that would get mocked on the ps3 🤷🏻‍♂️🙌🏻

[@stevena105]

The inconsistent controls is just the game immersing you in Gollum's descent into madness.

[@thrace_bot1012]

Verisimilitude at its finest

[@bindair_dundat]

Yeah. Gollum's other personality is wrestling with the player for control. :D

[@NomadicWayfarer7z]

@Telleva The game really makes you feel like Gollum

[@hildagrauls5138]

Hahahahahha....noooooooo See, I just did a Ryan Johnson. Noo yes noooo

[@hildagrauls5138]

@@thrace_bot1012 heeeyeey I should do my job and kick you in the feels. Super eyepatch wolf is my boss aswell

[@rod1028]

Gollum looks like he’s addicted to a lot more than just the one ring.

[@natesnarrations7215]

Lol 🤣🤣

[@berkant.11]

Haha. 🤣

[@Celmi90]

Holy 🤣

[@ewjiml]

Well his heritage is pot smoking hobbits so…..

[@randomchannel323]

Gollum looks me me getting under 6 hours sleep

[@vsf_dave811]

As a world renowned Tolkien scholar, I can confirm that Tolkien did in fact intend for Gollum to wall run but knew that the world wasn’t ready for such a groundbreaking innovation so it wasn’t included in the books

[@mrlaz9011]

he feared too many readers would have their minds melted at such a shocking feature.

[@mafata4200]

Yes. After all, unfortunately, during Sir Tolkien's lifetime people were not able to experience the greatness of Titanfall 2.

[@KABLAMMATS]

@@mafata4200 Sir Tolkien actually a titan pilot that stranded here because of time travel, trust me bro

[@sagegg5018]

As tolien himself (faked my own death) this is true

[@shockgames02]

@@sagegg5018 who’s Tolien?

[@SteveElOtaku]

Gollum in canon: "What's it got it in its nasty pocketses?" "WE HATES THE BAGGINSES" Gollum here: "I must perform taskeses for Lord Bezoses, or else no bathroom breakses, gollum..."

[@psterud]

"What has it got in its PayPal accountses?"

[@aegisScale]

"I mustes pays the rentses"

[@Aldrnari956]

@@aegisScale I love how this comment implies that the current middle earth economy has precluded Gollum from home ownership and so he lives in an apartment. Morgoth mortgage rates are just too high these days.

[@aegisScale]

@@Aldrnari956 cost of living in Middle Earth has been getting terrible recently, you can't even be a mutated wretch in a cave without selling your soul anymore.

[@ryanm.8720]

⁠@@aegisScale “You get your rentses when you fix this cursed door!”

[@artyjnrii]

Hopefully this kickstarts the Gollum-like genre which involves making anything you like, but having you play as Gollum.

[@michaelplatt1959]

I’d pay good money for a Gollum-like boomer shooter.

[@gsc8713]

​@@michaelplatt1959 ULTRAGOLLUM

[@extraplain2412]

The developers weren't creating a game. They were creating a meme. I understand now. Genius!

[@sticklyboi]

gollum stranding

[@adrikboyd9942]

Animal Crossing: Gollum

[@Nevarro_]

I can't believe they had the balls to release this as a full price title

[@DeltaAssaultGaming]

Redfall emboldened them.

[@DarshanBhambhani]

50$ USD is full price? Bro get your facts checked

[@DrViperVideos]

And the “Precious” edition which locks away the elf lanuage behind a paywall

[@subject8776]

@@DeltaAssaultGaming Emboldened by the flames of... GREED

[@DarshanBhambhani]

there was some idiot called me a dipshit for saying this game is not full price then deleted his comment after realizing he's wrong, just putting this comment here to forever shame @Junii Senpai @juniisenpai3777 for being a thick brain

[@rodrigocarmona9827]

21:56 The fact Gollum can't easily get out of a body of water shows the developers didn't ask for Tolkien expert (or whatever) because Gollum is a Stoors Hobbit, and his people was known for swimming and boats

[@mori6434]

You don't even need to know that specific piece of Tolkien lore, just have seen any of the movies. Gollum was living at an underground lake when Bilbo found him and in one of the original trilogy (Two Towers I think) he was diving in a pond for fish and having the time of his life

[@serraramayfield9230]

@@mori6434 see what I expected was a survival-horror game, but this is so close to the edge between "game" and "proof of concept" that this shouldn't have even been sold for FREE.

[@tylban9508]

Long time later, but you are right Even in the first movie (and in the first book) Aragorn mentions that Gollum is a skilled creature in the water when he follows them into the water hiding in a log, after leaving Lórien

[@frankiefrank6850]

"Hopefully non canon" is one of the more casually brutal notes I've heard in a review

[@RobleViejo]

If Tolkien didnt write it is not canon, thats a FACT Everything that came after his death are just attempts to piss off his Spirit enough to rise him from the dead Corpo scum are always eager to piss on his grave

[@JamesMadisonsSpiritAnimal]

It is non canon. The Tolkien estate is pretty open about 3rd era media and it all being nonncanon accept the movies

[@m1x0]

of course is not cannon, the only things that are cannon are the sacred texts, not even the peter jackson movies are cannon, they get as close as you can get in a movie setting but still not cannon.

[@yannatoko9898]

@@m1x0 *canon

[@Hugsloth]

I think they tried really hard to find a point in the story where it could be arguably canon (though what Gollum did between Baradur and catching up to Frodo is not really a thing anyone was wondering). If the game were good, maybe it could've been up for debate.

[@Tyrian3k]

This doesn't just look unfinished, this looks like they just made a proof of concept build and shipped that as a final product.

[@joekerins9772]

To be fair, they couldn't have pitched this as a proof of concept, because they'd have been told to fuck off and start again

[@jwberry23]

That's nearly all games lately.

[@sambmortimer]

@@jwberry23 Nearly all games since the start of games, the bad ones are just forgotten about

[@cortster12]

​@@sambmortimerNo, AAA games used to have more quality to them. Even the bad ones usually seemed finished in most respects.

[@kalodawg8297]

people keep buying, so they keep releasing crap

[@70rn]

There's no way book Gollum wouldn't have eaten the bird, instantly. Hell he'd probably have just eaten the egg. Gollum as a video game character probably would've better served as some kind of masochistic survival-horror where by you have to run around gathering worms and lizards to stay alive whilst travelling across middle earth trailing the ring: evading wargs, orcs , giant spiders trying to turn you into a chewy snack.

[@spaghettisploitation1029]

.... THIS! Take my money!

[@shaneferrier7693]

Absolutely agree bud! Ill fund your Kickstarter👍

[@TheMarauderOfficial]

shit man gollum canonically stole and ate babies

[@kabeltelevizio]

I honestly thought that's what the game was going to be, a prison escape stealth game with a descend into madness as you look for the ring. This looks like an snl sketch of a game.

[@leopereira4718]

This is legit what I thought this game was gonna be. I can’t imagine gollum working in any other game genre- at least not as the protagonist

[@Herr_Gamer]

I know like seven guys and two women that can do a near movie accurate gollum voice. How could they not have found someone with a decent gollum impression?

[@slayerd357]

I think it would have been awesome if they just had Sylvester Stallone do Gollum's voice for no good reason.

[@NewNoobie]

@@slayerd357 I bet they would make Gollum suddenly able to use bow complete with exploding arrow, just like Rambo

[@slayerd357]

@@NewNoobie "Lore accurate"

[@SomeRPGFan]

That's... an oddly specific skillset in your friend group. I've never heard anyone do a Gollum impression. ;)

[@Xx_d4ydr34ming_b4t_xX]

I know several people who can do gollum impressions too, I think it’s kind of a common impression for people to attempt buh idk

[@Dodgelayne]

Whoever convinced the Publisher to send out review copies deserves some kind of medal

[@itsnodee4612]

They truly are a person lookin out for us.

[@Future_Doggo]

The part where Gollum stared directly at the screen and told me the exact date and time of my death was wild. 10/10

[@AesirUnlimited]

Seeing Gollum do chores absolutely baffles me. I don’t even think he’d remember what chores are, let alone being adept at completing them.

[@mikkelolesen6292]

What's choreses Precious??

[@bimapringgo]

Maybe at one point this started as a Dobby game.

[@TheLilmuzzy]

Looks like chores are back on the menu boys

[@gman7497]

It's like they realized at some point in making it that being Gollum means for the most part you can't fight, no one wants to talk or interact with you, and you don't have any armor or gear to go after, so what you left with? Chores, I guess.. lol

[@traviswilson36]

This reviewer needs to do chores instead of playing games all day.

[@stevenshea990]

21:58 this especially funny when Tolkien specifically points out that Smaegol's people are uniquely good at swimming for hobbits.

[@jordinagel1184]

Not to mention he has webbed feet iirc

[@naluzoniro]

Yep, they're river folk. RIVER FOLK

[@orange_turtle3412]

He’s literally a river hobbit. His people’s entire culture revolves around water. Yet somehow he cant swim

[@benprescott1415]

I just don’t understand how things like this happen? How did this idea even make it out of the idea phase?

[@lucien4980]

Cash grab. developers that really dont care about any sort of player base and design games by going through the steps laid out for them and nothing more.

[@Mojavekight17]

Devs don't set the prices... low IQ take lol

[@fuuwad]

@@Mojavekight17 some games are independently published tho, but publishers do set prices and the devs do work with them to set that price

[@EldenLord.]

I honestly would like a developers releasing this garbage getting punished of some sort. A game like this, with once again terrible optimization, should NEVER be released to the public. Maybe you think about making a game centered around Gollum when you are drunk, but only then.

[@theblobconsumes4859]

There's probably some kind of development hell that happened.

[@ThatPurpleGirl81]

I think canon Gollum would have just eaten the raw eggs, not hatched a bird companion. 😅

[@jordinagel1184]

At most he would’ve waited for the bird to hatch, so he would have smg more “crunchy” to eat

[@matguimond92]

devs: nooooo! gollum can go through a redemption arc like everybody else! everybody else: this game sucks.

[@nathanielreichley4640]

​@@matguimond92but it's also a pre-redemption arc, the best kind of redemption haha

[@mastermind4499]

Also... they hatch cute little birds in Mordor?

[@fawnieee]

In the books it's even vaguely suggested he's been eating human babies lmao. A brief mention of a shadowy creature that's been snatching babies for them never to be seen again. Maybe he just wanted his own human baby companion. Jk They don't understand this character, truly "forlorn wretched and ruinous". If you're going to make a game about a character like this, might as well go all the way instead of trying to redeem him or give him a more sympathetic perspective.

[@webbedshadow2601]

I give it a solid "You couldn't pay me to play this" out of 10.

[@RemusGT]

They would need to offer me a fortune

[@Dethflash]

$100 an hour seems fair for all the mental anguish this game will cause anyone playing it.

[@ButrScochMonks]

“Gollum eats birds he doesn’t raise them” is so real and says it all

[@AwakenedAvocado]

As someone who eats birds i understand

[@GuardianTam]

I too eat birds.

[@FangsofYima]

This is inspiring. We should all aspire to have this level of confidence in our lives to actually release something like this as a paid product.

[@mad_max21]

At AAA game price even.

[@CorvoFG]

Well, if it’s good enough for Bethesda…

[@Wahid_on_youtobe]

That's one way to put it :v

[@mingyuhuang8944]

​@@mad_max21 The fact that this game was "made" and the money was not donated to cancer research, should be counted as fraud. 😢😢😢😢

[@cafuneandchill]

@@mingyuhuang8944 I understand that the game is terrible and that you like cancer research, but you don't have to tell about it under every comment here lmao

[@Warbec]

Remember, for every game like this, there was a room full of people that approved it.

[@inthefade]

Tolkien’s estate approved this. That is a travesty. But we already got the Rings of Power, so no surprise.

[@dustyyyyyyyy7]

A room full of people who aren't game devs xD

[@MrREAPERsz]

They're so out of touch with gamers. I get trying something new I guess.

[@mainchannel-l9x]

I'm pretty sure AAA companies will copy from this game the paywall for lore and shit.

[@adams3560]

It’s really not a bad game concept. It’s all about the execution, and unfortunately they fumbled it. I think the project was too ambitious for the developer, they’re not a large company. They’ve made many smaller games that were quite successful.

[@nintendovirtualboywastakenfsr]

I love how the stealth in this game combined with the enemy patrol pathing makes the entire stealth system a game of red light green light.

[@pursueme5986]

They tried to recreate the systems from A Plague Tale but did not even come close.

[@FitzFarseer96]

@@pursueme5986 when I heard about this game my immediate thought was "oh so it'll be like A Plague Tale but as Gollum." Guess that was too much to ask

[@Deivid-bn6yw]

Still better stealth than the past 2 assassins creed games

[@FitzFarseer96]

@@Deivid-bn6yw AC games still have stealth? Could've fooled me

[@LionmaneElsie08]

I’m convinced that the reason this plays so badly and is so broken and unpolished is because people couldn’t bare to play it more than once when they were ‘testing’ it, so they were just like “yep… that-that’s fine!”

[@generalalduin9548]

Or they were reduced to silence and the devs thought it was a good sign

[@LionmaneElsie08]

@@generalalduin9548 probably 😅

[@grntmuir1]

Not only did Gollum live on a lake in a cave for a few hundred years, but *Smeagol* spent his entire previous life as a river folk hobbit! Dude should be hitting the pool on his days off.

[@asmodeusml]

Gollum is such a weird choice for a protagonist. The reason he worked so well in the books and the movies is precisely because he has a support role, and all that shatters when you put him in the forefront and make him do ridiculous bullshit to justify his role. It would be the same if a Star Wars game came out about R2-D2, where he breeds banthas and engages in conversations.

[@elliotjames1273]

Yeah but let’s be fair. The problem with this game is that it’s devoid of artistic and technical talent. A great studio could make that R2D2 idea work brilliantly.

[@TrueUnderDawgGaming]

Or a Star Wars game making you play as Jar Jar

[@magolor152]

I think with good devs the idea they were going for could have been executed miles better than this

[@Eli_Guy]

Based on the sht Chopper does, Id kill for a game as a chaotic astromech

[@magolor152]

@@Eli_Guy let us play through that one comic where r2d2 basically solos an army inside of an imperial ship to rescue c3p0

[@Free-4554]

This feels like the type of game I'd pick up as a kid, and only play 30 minutes of after getting annoyed over the controls or getting stuck

[@dandewsnap2677]

Alone in the dark vibes.

[@rustyshackleford234]

That’s how I kinda was with the oddworld series, however, those are actually good games I just sucked at back then lmao

[@sephikong8323]

For real It really looks like one of those old cheap PS2 3D Platformer (or maybe Beat Them Up in a rarer occasions) licensed games Everyone who experienced one of THOSE things know exactly the feeling. The cutscene at the beginning alone brought back some memories and sensations I thought were lost in time

[@peefmcgoose2908]

It definitely looks like one of those movie tie-in games that like your mom buys you for the wii because she saw you liked the movie

[@akmal94ibrahim]

Feels like one of those movie tie-in PS2 games that my mom bought randomly because she recognized the title.

[@vtubersubs3803]

Gollum didn't even have to escape from Mordor in the first place. After Sauron got the info about Baggins and the Shire he let Gollum go, because he knew Gollum would inevitably go after the ring and could unwittingly help Sauron in locating it

[@TheHumbleHollow]

This actually feels like a £2 indie game you'd find on a Wicked Wizard video and never hear about again

[@Sepums]

Nice to see a mention of Wicked Wiz!

[@Grigorii-j7z]

Nice to see that PS2 games are still being developed.

[@sunlitsonata6853]

Hi-Fi Rush to this is the biggest flirting versus harassment difference of all time

[@igaovieira]

Only this time they require 24GB of vram somehow

[@SaithMasu12]

@@igaovieira with DLSS activated

[@akamikeym]

That's not fair PS2 games were well optimized.

[@danielsmid3777]

It was great era, I will always pick up PS2 game

[@JamesTheDominator]

The development history behind this is going to be a fascinating read

[@1416-x5o]

What happened?

[@Jolis_Parsec]

It’s. Just. Bad.

[@DomitriCervantes]

I can already see mcmuscles covering it xD

[@bo5935]

Tbh, I have no idea who would want to play a game as Gollum in the first place

[@rometherevenant8749]

​@@DomitriCervantes i honestly cant wait for a What Happened episode of this

[@Nuclearsnow]

Gollum doesn’t escape, he’s set free… they even got that wrong 😂

[@gorgolyt]

tOLkiEn eXPeRtS

[@toxiceagle19]

Ommgg spoilers. How could you do that 😢😂 (Joke)

[@Catchi1989]

Did they.... Give him a sock?

[@leadpaintchips9461]

Except in the books, he was set free.

[@ianlittle1653]

​@@leadpaintchips9461that's what he is saying. In the game he escapes

[@Dr.UldenWascht]

After half an hour, I could hear Tolkien banging on his coffin lid wanting to come out and punch someone. It was a vivid experience.

[@darkpromeathean937]

💀💀💀

[@WafflezDay]

It's really sad to see such a lore-full IP like LotR being wasted like this.

[@UebelstGutenZeug]

This guy was a literal genius, it's a fcking shame that they did this to him

[@jarongreen5480]

You know what would have been cool? In the books Aragorn actually tracks Gollum with Gandalf for years to try to find him. His journey takes him from the lonely mountain right to the very walls of mordor. Finally he manages to capture Gollum and bring him back to Gandalf for questioning. THAT should have been the game they made. How cool would it have been to play as Aragorn traveling middle earth and facing who knows how many dangers and amazing set pieces along the way? Hell in the expanded lore it's mentioned that he actually served in the Gondor army as a commander against the Corsairs of Umbar before receiving the call from Gandalf. All of that could have been an amazing game.

[@corruptangel6793]

Because they knew no player would survive the escort mission of bringing Gollum to Thranduil.

[@billedefoudre]

There's a whole fan film about that. And it is good material indeed!

[@christian_heretic]

Never knew that. Actually would’ve been pretty cool

[@Icetea-2000]

Is that how Gandalf found out about Gollum telling mordor about baggins and shire?

[@leichtmeister]

Dude, this is a German studio. They just don't have the skills to serve the modern market in the 3D action genre.

[@alexwalker9737]

19:53 They're asking for $60 DOLLARS MINIMUM, and that's the death animation??? I can't think of a more fitting example of "Something being funny that's not supposed to be". That's hilarious, no exaggeration I actually laughed out loud

[@Infamousbob24]

Same the death animations had me dying

[@Correc7edAuraYT]

LMAO! I clicked on the timestamp and didn't expect that at all. I laughed so loud i woke mu girlfriend up. Wtf was that!?

[@Gamespud94]

@@Infamousbob24 Were you also floating awkwardly as you died?

[@Kamyuyon]

same, the one where he fell and it sounded like someone dropped a wooden plank also had me giggle heavy

[@HULK-HOGAN1]

I didn’t laugh and this game deserves no semblance of a positive reaction, even at its expense. It’s disappointing and exploitative. That’s it.

[@rileymcphee9429]

They could've given Gollum an arc where he starts more hobbit-like while doing all that stuff but goes through a transformation into the Gollum we know over the course of the game. But no, that would've made too much sense.

[@imperiallarch7610]

But he was already mostly the Gollum we know when Bilbo stole the ring from him, and that happened before the events of the game. He's maybe a *little* more volatile during The Lord of the Rings, but in The Hobbit he was already a reclusive murderer who talked to himself and ate raw fish that he caught with his bare hands.

[@OrstedBitch]

​@@imperiallarch7610 He probably talking about before The Hobbit, when gollum found the Ring.

[@DrRyan82994]

I think he's supposed to look less corrupted? he has more hair and his face is fuller, but it just looks really bad and yeah he doesn't change

[@globalincident694]

To be fair, it's a little bit tricky to tell a story that lasts for the necessary duration, which would be several decades. But not impossible.

[@DarioCastellarin]

That would actually take centuries.

[@hotfightinghistory9224]

Gollum is one of the most complex and nuanced characters in the story. His lack of redemption is what saved everyone, in the end. We saw Gollum's anger and spite and guile in the movies. If this game showed more of the grief and torment and self-hatred that had become his only companion after claiming the ring, it could have added such a new angle to the overall story. We never saw Gollum really cry except for trying to avoid being beaten, and when losing the ring, but the books eluded to the inner pain he carried with him. Imagine if this story started with that. It would have made him a far more sympathetic protagonist for this game.

[@LolaKlein]

Exactly. I see people mocking the choice of character, but I find Gollum such an interesting and deep character. It's a shame they didn't take the opportunity seriously. It could've been a brilliant game with so much to tell. It's really a shame.

[@Shyknit]

Imagine if you started as him when he was a hobbit, that would have been fire

[@JohnJacobJingleheimerSchmidt7]

I mean, TWO DIFFERENT HOBBITS who found him deeply repulsive and evil both wavered on the precipice of killing him, but ultimately took pity on his wretchedness and his self-loathing. He is, metaphorically, every negative pitiable human trait - and yet that is what gives him his humanity. He is not redeemed bc that element of humanity is irredeemable, but even the wretchedness of humanity plays an important role in the end. And yet the game somehow missed that this is all the ENTIRE POINT OF HIS CHARACTER

[@iwantgoals1566]

Exactly. You could even have some nightmare/flashback scenes of the horrible things he did as he was transforming from Sméagol to Gollum only for him to wake up to daily torture whilst in the captivity of Sauron. Almost like he has PTSD from all the things his addiction to the ring made him do but it’s too late to undo those things.

[@davidjsaul]

Well apparently the story was written by "experts" so they seem to have a different perspective on Gollum from most other people

[@dandylionwine]

My favorite part was when Gollum told the Greshneg, "I'm institutionalized." A moment that will live forever in memory. What the hell were they thinking.

[@Tyler_W]

I was waiting for a Shawshank reference in the comments.

[@K4inan]

You are joking right? I could see this game would be garbage from the get go but damn.

[@ivpopov5990]

I laughed at this harder than I should have

[@phattjohnson]

@@K4inan When you're right you're right!

[@YellowDogWithCone]

All he wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi

[@GravityTrash]

I wasnt even aware that this was a real game, the initial render straight up looked AI generated. I will say though, its nice to get a Classic Bad game, not some boring live service battle royale that has literally no functionality and gets shut down in 6 months -- this is a classic spot #8 on the Top 10 Worst Games of 2012 type of game, and it almost feels nostalgic to see this type come back.

[@wetalkinb0utpractice]

All facts

[@1sonicthe]

Yeah! I hadn't really thought of it but you're absolutely right. It's really refreshing to get a straight up laughably bad game. This is 100% the type of game you'd see in those classic ScrewAttack's "top 10 worst games" lists

[@Greenleaf_]

Yeah people always complain like "why does every game get a 7/10" and it's because really bad games just don't make it to release anymore, but this one is the exception. Straight 2/10

[@SteeZy644]

@@1sonicthehavent seen garbage this blatant since The Quiet Man a few years back

[@zach7]

@@Greenleaf_ This is too true, and it's kinda been this slop of mediocrity. It also makes what people critique as "a bad game" feel wrong because a lot of the stuff that people end up hating on is very passable and okay at worst. it's shifted a lot of our perspectives. So when something actually awful comes out it's almost endearing? like wow this is more memorable than a dozen hero shooters and crafting games I've seen that I'll never remember the name of. I'll at least say it stands out.

[@FaeChangeling]

Gollum himself is in this weird spot of having early 2000's textures and lighting on a 2010-2015 polycount while looking like 90's movie CGI, meanwhile the environments look great and it all just clashes in such an uncanny way.

[@Chicky_Lumps]

I was gonna say I feel bad for the environment artists because they're clearly passionate, talented, and the only ones who gave a rip. They didn't deserve working for a team making this diarrhea.

[@ArariaKAgelessTraveller]

The enviroment is made using the already existing resources from the engine itself, those realistic terrain are all generated While Character animation that is not like stock generated human requires actual skill to make Which clearly the developers lacks by huge margin

[@Chicky_Lumps]

@@ArariaKAgelessTraveller Epic's texture and asset libraries do not automatically create good art direction and environment design.

[@PrimeNPC]

I was utterly convinced that someone had warped the face and made a meme out of it when I first saw it. The fact someone gave that face the green light is insane

[@Commodore22345]

Except the environments don't really look great either. At least not when you compare the environments in this game to other similarly priced games. I don't care how small your budget or your studio is, if you are going to charge triple A prices for your game like these devs did, then I expect triple A graphics to come with it.

[@Und3rWh3lm3d_]

This truly looks like some weird licensed b side game from the mid 2000s. What’s astounding is people in a room played this, nodded their heads at each other, and green lit this.

[@lordsysop]

They probably thought it would be like thief

[@eval_is_evil]

Yes and supposedly the devs said if they make it right nobody will be able to make a Gollum game again, that's almost a direct quote. Also Middle Earth Enterprises OK'd this project, apparently they were thrilled in 2019. Bets on wrong horses comes to mind.

[@MyNameIsSalo]

what probably happened is that it was never QA tested in the first place, only some devs checking it out in their spare time, and any feedback they gave was ignored. The devs likely tried to push it back because they all knew it was bad, but management said no because daddy publisher needs their paycheck once the game goes live. And the reality is that it's more profitable to push out a shit game than it is to fix an already shit game. Like if they kept working on this over the next year, compared to releasing it when they did, they would have made so much less money. So from a business point of view it's better to just ship it and cash out on all the suckers who preordered, and then cut your losses and move on. For that, I blame consumers, Stop preordering

[@Aliens1337]

@@MyNameIsSalo Bugginess is the least of this game's problem. The problems are: 1. Nobody wants to play as Gollum. Nobody asked for this. Why not a spin off game about a beloved character like Legolas, Aragorn or Gandalf? Why Gollum? 2. The gameplay is atrocious. People will put up with bugginess and unfinished games if they the devs nailed the concept and the core gameplay was good, because they know eventually it will be a good experience. See Skyrim, or Cyberpunk. Even if this Gollum game came out extremely bug-free, it would still flop since they failed to capture people's interest and the core gameplay is shit. There first mistake was making a product nobody wants. There second mistake was half-assing it.

[@sonnyankau9239]

modern game development! just people working a job like any other 9-5.

[@TiakOSRS]

That intro clip of him doing the absolutely worst "Gollum, Gollum" possible has me in fucking tears. Who greenlit that?!

[@captainsatire9628]

Genuinely surprised this is the first comment I've seen criticizing the VA work, I know so many people who can do a better 'Gollum' than whoever it is they've got

[@celestialdancer6293]

Oh my god you're so right. It sounds forced in the most artificial way possible. Andy Serkis' "Gollum Gollum" had so much force and vitriol thrown in it and this meanwhile sounds like a guy nervously showing his friends his half-baked gollum impression

[@barret-xiii]

@@celestialdancer6293 It really sounds like the kind of impression you'd do as a joke when referencing the Jackson films at a party or social gathering, complete with stifling the laughter that bubbles up because you're so drunk that every dumb little thing seems funny.

[@Olorune]

Sounded like a Pokémon

[@darkhawk5231]

also whats with this weird accent Gollum got sometimes in this video? Gollum speaks way too normal in most scenes lmao. There was one scene in this video where he was like "got some food ,eh?" i mean.. what the fuck is this Gollum supposed to be??

[@Apoc2K]

I'm really interested in the autopsy of this game. How on earth did this ever see release? Who kept pumping money into it? What drove the studio to even go down this road in the first place?

[@DiscusvissenRocken]

Guess they thought they could pull an EA and release a broken piece of trash...

[@thatladfromsheffield]

The studio is a very small, un-noteworthy studio in Germany that somehow got bought out for a heck of a lot of money to make this game. Just an all round bizarre situation.

[@eldenthugshaker]

Even worse, the German games fund has given them more money (2 million) to work on their next LOTR game. This has got to be the worst thing that the German government's ever done...

[@Vario69]

GOLLUM! GOLLUM!

[@watertrooper]

Higher ups. We have to release this game for earnings report.

[@dah3071]

Those mine tasks could have easily been used for gollum to passively gain information he uses against other prisoners for favors or grabbing and hiding items away to use later for his escape, using smegul to make himself seem meek and none threatening to tougher sorts and gollum to manhandle the weaker ones into doing what he wants until he practically starts a riot and blows up a load of tunnels to slip away in the confusion

[@ryanhutchinson4467]

That would’ve been a thousand times more interesting, and it would’ve fit with Gollum’s character a lot better. When I saw the previews for this game, I imagined that Gollum would be using his cunning to eliminate his enemies. Hell, in the trailer we see Gollum pour a cauldron of hot lava on a group of enemies and kill them! I’d hope that kind of thing would be in the game. Instead, Gollum can only kill a handful of enemies by using the stealth takedown animation, and nothing else. So much missed potential.

[@generalalduin9548]

Why weren’t you on the dev team? That would’ve made the story more bearable

[@CruelestChris]

So Sauron's true evil was forcing his prisoners to endure daily radiant quests until the sweet embrace of death takes them.

[@Tangence_]

Sounds like real life... hold up

[@sinjin8576]

I didn't see Preston Garvey as Sauron coming ngl. They got me

[@mingyuhuang8944]

​@@Tangence_ The fact that this game was "made" and the money was not donated to cancer research, should be counted as fraud. 😂😂😂😂

[@JewTube001]

@@mingyuhuang8944 why do you keep spamming this comment? go touch some grass

[@trceb]

Imagine creating one of the greatest literary works of fiction and then having a bunch of greaseballs milk your life’s work for every penny it has. Sad.

[@MeatSnax]

Jesus christ this is insane. I get that Tolkien fans can be a little nuts about lore and characterization (myself included) but I think my mom who half-watched the Ranklin & Bass Hobbit and Return of The King movies with me as a kid would be like "I don't think Gollum would hang out with that chicken". Actually, I think Gollum's second most famous trait is that he loves to kill and eat cute animals while they're still ~raw and wriggling~. I'm glad this is the first time I'm hearing about this game, because I'm such a lifelong Gollum fan that I might have been tempted to buy this just to support, but these people clearly don't give a shit about my little guy.

[@midgetydeath]

We're nuts about lore and such because it's all been written by Tolkien, which means there is no excuse for getting it wrong. I think that's perfectly fair. It's like being handed the answers to a test and still getting things wrong.

[@dumdumer892]

I haven’t even finished the video. I scrolled until I saw this comment and I’m sorry did you say “I don’t think Gollum would hang out with that chicken”???? Wtf????? 😂😂😂😂😂

[@trickymarigold]

This feels like a game that would come out in the PS2 and you’d find at a pawn shop 10 years later for 8.00 bucks

[@Cmdrbzrd]

Nah, only for a pound.

[@Krexel]

Nah. 2.99 at most.

[@machina5]

$8?

[@bigdongkong1854]

More like 2 months

[@ChronSoss]

This is the kind of ps2 game that would get you 50 cents of store credit at gamestop XD

[@Froggsroxx]

I feel like the character animation highlights why they only showed short shots of gollum moving around in the movies, because him crawling over anything flat just looks painful and bizarre.

[@planetofthegapes]

Almost like why humans are bipedal for a reason.

[@Calipered]

This game could've easily been a stealth survival game where you are sneaking across various Middle earth setpieces, stealing food to eat while avoiding the various peoples, from elves to dwarfes, following Frodos footsteps and ending the game when they meet. Like why isn't this the game they made?

[@11235Aodh]

I would play that!

[@thegheymerz6353]

like an Abes Odd World type game. That format would work well too because gollum really should be avoiding enemies at all costs.

[@kylemedbery9060]

I'll be honest, I was under the impression that was going to be what this game was lol

[@Eilanzer]

dude you just got yourself a better game than this in seconds in a youtube video...How they could cook something this stupid is amazing to be fair~

[@IndianTelephone]

Well for starters, there is this huge iron wall named "Tolkien Estate" standing in the way of media and the books being adapted. If even Amazon, who spent billions to get the rights, couldn't get rights to Silmarillion, that literally holds the history of entire Middle Earth, and had to invent their own stories to make Rings of Power, then how would a small publisher/dev get rights to make a faithful adaptation of one of the most iconic characters in the tolkien-verse? I am sure thats why they hired "Tolkien Experts" to write a story, but these "Experts" might just be wannabe fan fiction writers.

[@fentanylfrog8403]

You know, with such a weird idea for a game I thought the devs had to have a strong vision for the gameplay. I guess I was wrong. Edit: I just finished the review. Why... why did they make this? Why is Gollum doing menial labor the premise for a $70 game, and what publisher thought it was ready for release?

[@yol_n]

Yeah. Imagining all the possibilities they had with gollum makes me sad. I think a studio like this should've gone with a safer game as their first rodeo.

[@T1tusCr0w]

I can see bits an pieces here and there… some of the design looks nice the art in bits. A lot of this type of design in games takes time. I get the feeling a reasonable amount of people worked really hard and non of it clicked or they were told to do stuff or something 🤷🏻‍♂️ guess we’ll never know. It’s a shame. I’m a real Tolkien buff and would have got this if it was just good.

[@diestormlie]

Maybe the Publisher bought, like, about two footnotes worth of rights for a song.

[@perspii2808]

@@T1tusCr0w that a lot of people have put so much of their time and energy into a project for years that’s just ended up being critically panned and mocked is so tragic to me I wonder if the story of what happened behind the scenes will ever come out. Something must have gone pretty wrong with all the delays and stuff It’s a real shame that such a unique concept hasn’t worked out

[@T1tusCr0w]

@@perspii2808 yep. We can only hope it doesn’t discourage the devs & they dust themselves off & try again.

[@TheNightquest]

If you realise that the developers are known for making point and click adventures, so many things start to make sense. The publisher is Nacon, the guys that pirated a copy of a game of a developer they lost the rights to and published it on steam, just to get sued for it and had to take it down. Edit: spelling.

[@Con5tantine]

No fucking way 😂

[@SirButtface3000]

what game was that?

[@zenksren8206]

So Daedalic tried and failed to be Lucasarts by breaking into console action games Nacon should stick to make shitty gaming accessories cos good God they sound like absolute scumbags

[@TheNightquest]

@@SirButtface3000 "The Sinking City" by Frogwares

[@UndeadSlayer5]

Why would Warner hire those guys there not the right people for the job

[@JerkyMurky]

I think it's important to note that they sold the game as a stealth platformer where you escape Mordor, end up in murkwood where you escape again and do other adventures. They hid the fact that the front half of the game is overloaded with shite mini games in prison. They never mentioned that the majority of the game would take place in the exact same location.

[@fraserjurock7724]

Those lore bits are 100% AI generated

[@enriquemeza2568]

I believe AI can write 10x better than this

[@lamikal2515]

You misspelled "leftists"

[@manjackson2772]

@@lamikal2515 What is wrong with you

[@blinkx1070]

@@lamikal2515 Judging by how many failed actors, comedians, and writers on the far right I highly doubt that

[@happymealchiz]

@@lamikal2515 when you’ve consumed so much rage-bait that you instantly blame anything bad on your one and only scapegoat:

[@regex2660]

It really reminds me of those PS2 movie adaptation games where the game just creates arbitrary challenges and levels just so you can call it a 'game'

[@MastaRavenkroft]

We played that shit as soon as it came out too even tho we knew

[@ElTequilla]

It sure has some uncanny PS1 Harry Potter vibe going here.. Only those games, were for KIDS!!

[@NF_Redux]

the last one of those i played was Peter Jackson's King Kong on Xbox 360

[@THEdarkmonkey678]

@@NF_Redux And what a game that was, I remember the fire mechanics blowing my mind as a kid

[@neoshenlong]

And ironically I remember the LotR movie games being actually kinda decent.

[@Rawbone73]

His swing animation is to show off his mad core strength, hence his nickname "Swollum".

[@DeadheadYates]

Ok you got me with this one 😆

[@mingyuhuang8944]

​@@DeadheadYates The fact that this game was "made" and the money was not donated to cancer research, should be counted as fraud. 😂😂😂😂

[@thatoneguy58609]

Dude can you shut up and stop spamming your joke that isn't even that funny

[@Hawk7886]

@@mingyuhuang8944 spammer

[@FOXZILLA5734]

You know you gotta give this game credit it makes you feel what it is like to be gollum in a prison boring, tedious, and you rather do anything else so in that area it really succeeds.

[@Jordo246]

How in the hell out of all the millions of people that can do spot on Gollum impressions did they manage to hire someone that sounds absolutely nothing like him?

[@truesoupplay]

What do you mean "sounds absolutely nothing like him?" lol what does Gollum sound like? Do you mean sounds nothing like Andy Serkis? Gollum is a character from a book. He should sound however the author describes, and even then, that allows for a lot of artistic interpretation. This isn't a the Lord of the Rings: The Movie game, he's not going to sound like Andy Serkis' rendition. One could argue this voice is more accurate.

[@Sneedmeister]

@@truesoupplay please stop, you're embarrassing yourself

[@Jdb63]

​@@truesoupplayHonestly that's an interesting point. Has it been stated if this game is in the world of the books or the movies?

[@2HandHangerDunksOnly]

@@Sneedmeister game sucks, but he’s right. The movies blow anyway

[@ryno4ever433]

Hes right though

[@spencercox4092]

I am actually crying at candle man. He's not big enough for his armor, he's craning his neck so his mouth sticks out of his helmet, his lil dangly beads are smackin him in the forehead😂😂

[@TheL0ngbeard]

I saw that and I had to stop the video and go back and look again. I have no idea who designed things for this game, but I am not sure they even knew what game is it for...

[@jackhazardous4008]

Its like they build the outfit seperate from his body

[@danthovict381]

Previous candle man was bigger, and Sauron dont want to buy a new armor. And just force him to wear that armor because Sauron is Totalitarian.

[@NegraLi34]

You can really tell how passionate these devs were about this project. Totally not a contractual obligation

[@swans184]

Lord of the Rings fans keep your guard up. The greed currently circling the franchise is something out of a Tolkien book

[@dragonriderabens9761]

@@swans184 3 words: Rings of Power It’s BEEN circling

[@deadlyydude5522]

@@dragonriderabens9761 somehow this game has a more compelling story than ROP lmao

[@rb8644]

Contractual obligations are a mixed bag. I've seen shit get into games purely because random money man 1 thinks feature X is cool and we have to have it.

[@Suckko]

the lego lord of the rings games were 10x better than whatever this is

[@Howlingburd19]

Truly one of the games of all time. The story was, the characters were, the gameplay was, the level design was, the progression system was, and the graphics were

[@AzureFides]

I really want to see how the hell they pitched this project. The director must had crazy high charisma and rolled nat20.

[@abbygaleforcewind]

The whole "smeagol vs gollum" thing they kind of broached genuinely seems interesting, if it was done well. This clearly was not.

[@Chillerll]

He was crazy high on something, that’s for sure.

[@Icetea-2000]

It doesn’t seem like a problem of "rushed development" or a "squashed vision" of the developer by deadlines, I see absolutely no way that concept would’ve worked in the first place

[@rud5101]

I mean I think it'd be kind of a cool idea if it was like Styx: Master of Shadows but with LotR.

[@bluemeriadoc]

director is nattie light

[@revl8n817]

Fun fact: Sauron was the lead producer and director - making this the most immersive Middle Earth experience ever released - as you relish in the pain and misery of channeling Gollum.

[@Uppernorwood976]

If Gandalf saw this game, he’d have hurled himself off the bridge before the Balrog even appeared.

[@Funko777]

Bruh.... Lmao

[@winterland3253]

They may have created an accidental masterpiece with this one, it gives me 90s adventure game energy for some reason. Can't wait for Mandalore to review this in 10 years

[@juicemonger3872]

When the Gollum game was announced, I asked myself, "Why?" Now that it's finished, I can't help but wonder, "Why?"

[@Marcelocostache]

They could of taken any character from the 3th age including Gorfindel, Gandalf, any of the Rohirim hack even Aragon but no we get gollum of all people lol.

[@RaidenX196]

14:05

[@krybling]

i had same question 15 years ago when movie games got developed i guess you still dont get it based on your comment

[@Fredwilson45]

because yachts aren't gonna buy themselves!

[@paulgonzalez7610]

The Precious Edition is probably the greatest name for a deluxe version of a game 😂

[@brucevandermescht6957]

And ironically there's nothing precious about it at all.

[@YEY0806]

Meta 😂

[@Elwaves2925]

If they knew what they were doing, it would have been called the Preciousss Edition.

[@kukuc96]

If the game was any good, that would have been actually cool.

[@aidangordon2713]

Gollum: a game _one guy_ was looking forward to, *AND THEY STILL FUCKED IT ALL UP.*

[@bufosp]

one guy is one man too many for this game.

[@mejrikais6002]

😂

[@Volyren]

Hey. That one guy has pasty, loose skin, is always in pain which makes him antisocial, and his only posession is a plastic spider ring the first girl who didn't scream on sight gave him. Feel good about yourself now? He deserved a good game. Poor dude.

[@bigtony4177]

That guy was Jerma lol. No joke, he said it in a recent stream, I forgot which.

[@Deathzezima]

True LOL, honestly who the fuck wanted a Gollum game💀

[@solgerWhyIsThereAnAtItLooksBad]

I think that the DLC was part of the base game, but ripped from it and sold as DLC to make it cheaper because they hoped that making it 10 dollar cheaper would make people buy it

[@Chicky_Lumps]

That actually sounds plausible once they saw the turd volcano starting to approach eruption.

[@AlexorPwnsAll]

You know sometimes not every part of a story needs to be told. “Gollum was taken prisoner and tortured until he gave away the information on the Ring. He then escaped from his confinement and began seeking out the Ring bearer.” There. That’s all it ever needed to be.

[@J29-u8u]

*bearer

[@Vekstar]

I mean you could make a game about that.

[@davidjsaul]

But... But money!

[@supersardonic1179]

That legit sounds like a video game prologue.

[@achillesa5894]

Nah, there was potential to tell an interesting story there. This one just ain't it.

[@Sam-ve4tx]

I will say, Gollum being a more "talky" character isn't really far-fetched. He did challenge Bilbo to a game of riddles, after all.

[@Hugsloth]

If they had just hired Andy Serkis instead of wasting so much money on marketing, at least you could offer that as a selling point. Serkis IS Gollum, after all, he could probably do way better mocap work for them too. Sad to see this game end up being just a paper-jammed idea that eventually got spat out of the copier all crumpled up.

[@trevorbye6965]

A box that has neither hinge, nor key, nor lid; yet inside golden treasure hid…

[@tahunuva4254]

​@@trevorbye6965A game that has neither graphics nor gameplay.. And inside, a golden shower

[@guilhermehank4938]

​@@Hugsloth you see, this wouldn't work because that version of the character is owned by Warner and Warner no longer owns the LOTR games but they still can't use that particular version of the character.

[@joshuaroughan3350]

that was such a fun part of the Hobbit book

[@Arcademan09]

This looks and feels like a game where everyone on the team was afraid to tell the lead "no" when they were making awful decisions

[@RDR911]

Most of the time in a studio, this is the case. Nobody's gonna tell their boss that they're a dipshit, but you can bet they all knew it.

[@Arcademan09]

@@RDR911 so here's the other question: *who* was the massive Gollum fanboy that pushed and demanded this game? A game not based on Gandalf, The Hobbit journey, a sequel after the Fellowship... But Gollum?!

[@Hugsloth]

I am sure there was a healthy dose of executive meddling, plus needing to consult with and appease the "Tolkien scholars"

[@phattjohnson]

@@Arcademan09 What's wrong with Gollum? Could've been a good game.. just.. this one isn't :(

[@quinnzykir]

And they kept scraping it until they only had one year left to finish it

[@0Lottee0]

NGL I am kinda obsessed with the idea of Gollum raising chickens. Just in general. Imagine watching LOTR and the entire time Gollum just has a whole ass chicken under one arm and sometimes he gets it to go knock a bottle off a shelf. Maybe they should just make a game where Gollum makes friends and raises birds.

[@Mike-os3pt]

Villain Redemption Simulator 2023.

[@thesardonicpig3835]

And he named the chicken "Baggins", so every time he orders it around Frodo feels awkward as hell

[@sydneyslaughter7163]

LOTR; Gollum’s Farm, Parallel Universe 27 expansion!

[@jameshart2622]

Mordor Valley!

[@Bizbappo7171]

I love how you’ve gone from “I do not recommend X” to “How can I properly roast the fuck out of this game”

[@alaskanyeti907]

Well, when the product's 50-70 dollars and released in this state, it tends to warrant this level of criticism

[@jameshughes5714]

I think we all know a person or two who can do a really good Golem impression,, how they did not find someone to do a better voice over is insane

[@lordmarshmal_0643]

Vinny probably could've hit it big lul

[@theinvisibleskulk4563]

We all know the developer would never have hired Just Some Guy.

[@confusionandcreation6036]

That reminds me, I once came across a talent show where one of the contestants' act was just doing a passable Gollum impression. It struck me as a little odd, because let's face it, it's not exactly a unique gift that only a few lucky people are blessed with.

[@angmordagnithil7127]

Right? I thought that Liam O'Brien was going to reprise his role from Shadow of Mordor. While Gollum's inclusion in that game was quite suspect from a lore standpoint, Liam killed the impression.

[@MrBurtbackerack]

If I was a developer for this game I would genuinely get my named removed from the credits

[@phattjohnson]

Or just get your name legally changed after the game releases.

[@f_f_f_8142]

@@phattjohnson Funnily enough the creative director and co-founder of the developer left three years ago and took the name of his wife.

[@mrfunnyperson100]

Alan Smithee

[@ChewieLewis]

It’s really sad this game is as bad as it is because the idea of wrestling with his split personalities and forcing one to convince the other to make a particular decision as a gameplay mechanic is actually a really unique and interesting concept

[@alessandrodelpierojuventus8156]

DID YOU PLAYED IT ?? IT IS GREAT AND UNIQUE

[@TheTheGrimm]

Damn, the Tolkien IP is perfect for so many great adaptations (gaming or otherwise) and somehow beyond two good games in the past generation, no one has come close to hitting the mark recently

[@lordsysop]

Shadow of war was a generic passable arkham feeling game... an ign 7. This looks horrible

[@GalaxyEdgeStudios]

@@lordsysop Shadow of war was fantastic, what is this slander? The orc nemesis system in that game is genuinely mindblowing.

[@ChoJun69]

​@@GalaxyEdgeStudiosNemesis system should've been in every single game since its release. Its literally reworked old shitty enemy path of progression. Sadly greedy fucks are locking it and abandoning.

[@thrace_bot1012]

I mean 2 Good Games in one generation alone isn't nothing...it's enough. Ravenous consumer appetites aren't good for any IP, you inevitably end up with an MCU like situation.

[@TheTheGrimm]

​@@GalaxyEdgeStudios the two good games are the shadow series. I finished both of them

[@carlackersii]

When this was first announced my only thought was “how the hell will this work? What kind of gameplay could a story fully centered around Gollum even have”. Guess I wasn’t too far off

[@BrickBuster2552]

_"He's a really good and popular character, and that's the same thing as making a good MAIN character!"_ --Someone rich

[@zoopzoop1984]

I could see this concept work as a point and click game the devs are known for. A small maybe mobile-only game, likewise pricetag. They instead tried to make a half-assed assasins creed clone, despite having no prior experience anything like that. Regardless of the idea itself, why this type of game by this type of company?

[@Tyler_W]

I just figured it would have had a bunch of old school stealth and some complex traversal mechanics since Gollum can climb over any surface basically. I was sort of right... I didn't think this was a good idea, but I had a lot higher hopes than this. Expectations went to zero as soon as we got our first look at what Gollum looked like. Looks like a late PS2, early PS3 game from 15-17 years ago.

[@nicknevco215]

amazing you heard about it

[@qwertdoogle]

If you've ever heard of Styx, I would have expected a Gollum game to play somewhat similar. Just a shame that this is what the LotR IP was wasted on

[@luca_lwls]

Btw that Mouth of Sauron isn't an original character. If you watched the extended edition of Return of the King it's that guy that comes out of the black gate that says that Frodo and Sam are dead and gets his head chopped off by Aragorn after like a minute

[@fantasywind3923]

" And thereupon the middle door of the Black Gate was thrown open with a great clang, and out of it there came an embassy from the Dark Tower. At its head there rode a tall and evil shape, mounted upon a black horse, if horse it was; for it was huge and hideous and its face was a frightful mask, more like a skull than a living head, and in the sockets of its eyes and in its nostrils there burned a flame. The rider was robed all in black, and black was his lofty helm; yet this was no Ringwraith but a living man. The Lieutenant of the Tower of Barad-dûr he was, and his name is remembered in no tale; for he himself had forgotten it, and he said: 'I am the Mouth of Sauron.' But it is told that he was a renegade, who came of the race of those that are named the Black Númenóreans.... And he entered the service of the Dark Tower when it first rose again, and because of his cunning he grew ever higher in the Lord's favour; and he learned great sorcery, and knew much of the mind of Sauron; and he was more cruel than any orc. He it was that now rode out, and with him came only a small company of black-harnessed soldiery, and a single banner, black but bearing on it in red the Evil Eye. Now halting a few paces before the Captains of the West he looked them up and down and laughed." Yep, he is quite interesting character, a diplomat, herald and ambassador of Mordor, lieutenant of Barad-dur, a sorcerer, a Black Numenorean. His steed is also extremely interesting, one wonder what sort of 'horse' it was, some creature twisted by dark powers maybe?

[@georgekornarakis524]

I was about to say it

[@achka]

Uhhh I'm sorry sweaty but he meant original as in "cool" o "bussin" as young people say. Believe me, Im kind of a Tolkien Scholar 😌

[@wildguardian]

What seems to be the most weird thing about this game is that Gollum should be a miserable character in a dark and miserable world, having a miserable experience doing horrible things to survive.. eating raw fish, killing them with rocks, swimming on mud and shit, in the dark.. avoiding rocks.. like.. I feel more like Gollum when I'm walking on the wastelands of death stranding or when I'm playing a game from fromsoftware.. Elden Ring is more gollum than gollum with this ridiculous pokemon bird..

[@thesardonicpig3835]

What you just described is the Gollum game I would have wanted to play. You know, a gritty, miserable survival horror game set in Middle Earth, with a protagonist who is pathetic and crazy. That's one hell of a good premise. (Don't include player choice for Gollum's actions though - you shouldn't have the option to make Gollum into a "good person.")

[@wildguardian]

@@thesardonicpig3835 exactly.. although... I would absolutely LOVE and laugh as a maniac if I had a "smeagol" moment if I had a single moment do to a choice to be a "smeagol" good guy.. just like when gollum chose to be a good guy and helped frodo and sam.. but in the end it backfired and didn't made any difference and drove him even further into madness like it did in the movies.. like a easter egg making fun of such games and at the same time being just like it had happened with gollum in the books and the movie.

[@lordofdarkness4204]

@@wildguardian Remember, with Frodo and Sam he is forced to help them, he does not do it willingly.

[@TheReZisTLust]

Ancestors the gollumkind oddysey

[@GitraSilvermane]

When I heard they were making a Gollum game, my mind went to the Styx series, which is a stealth assassination game where you play a goblin. So, Gollum escaping the mines and stealth strangling every orc along the way. That would be cool. This... this is a game that exists... for some reason.

[@elvickRULES]

That’s what I thought they’d make when they announced it. Felt it was a silly concept when announced anyway, but okay… this though. Baffling

[@CalvinChikelue]

Styx was also my exact touchstone as well. Never got around to playing its sequel but honestly any & everyone who was planning to get this game, should spend their money & time on the Styx games instead.

[@therealtijuanaman]

I love Styx. I found it after pondering a DND campaign focused on stealth. I have both, I haven't gotten far in either

[@daniloacc92]

And Styx: Shards of Darkness (2017) was released with the base price around 30~40 dollars (I can't find exactly the release price)

[@TuriGamer]

The styx games are better gollum games than this lol

[@abritishguy4713]

I can’t believe Gollum of all characters ended up with his own game.

[@ttdttd4211]

Lmao. I wouldn't want to play as that gay ass character anyways

[@xbeastxable]

Exactly!

[@JackFromAbove]

Actually in concept this all seems great, but terribly implemented. Playing a game like Styx but as Gollum, and being a grimy slimy little jerk sneaking around middle earth could be fun.

[@izawa9211]

​@@JackFromAbove look up the 1st and 2nd age and tell me any of characters from there wouldnt be better It could be a cool concept i wont lie but whan there are 100times better characters too play as it fucking sucks

[@josejoaquim4344]

@@JackFromAbove Sneaking around, killing orcs by biting their necks or pushing a large boulder to crush them and eating random birds and fish you to restore HP while avoiding patrols and wild warg packs. I can see the potential, how could they screw it up that bad?

[@sauronsrighthandman301]

What pisses me off is that they lie to you about the story. We do know what happened at Barad-Dûr with Gollum's capture. We know roughly how long he stayed there, and how he escaped. He escaped because Sauron let him escape, and he never worked in the mines, there was obviously no bird breeding thing and nothing in this game is faithful to the books. Makes me think they got the Tolkien "Experts" from Amazon's writing staff.

[@Ariaelyne]

Most likely they actually did get experts, but used them as advisors to make sure they weren't explicitly breaking the universe rather then a way to 'stay faithful to the writing'. Expertise means nothing when the goal is to change the set events.

[@publiusventidiusbassus1232]

@@Ariaelyne I doubt they even did that. Most entertainment productions that have any type of "expert" generally just hire/consult them for the sole reason to market they did and make their thing look more credible, but almost never implement a single piece of advice or correction.

[@inkmime]

It really does feel like a throwback to like, that era of cheap PS2 tie in games you'd see on the lower shelves of a gamestop or tucked away unassumingly in a modern day used game store. It just so happens to have a more modern technological budget.

[@reginlief1]

Isn’t Gollum intentionally freed to follow Frodo and hopefully attempt to take the ring, and therefore dooming the fellowship’s quest? That was always what I took it to be.

[@King-mj2bn]

Yes. "When he had learned what he could from him, Sauron released him and sent him forth again...But Sauron perceived the depth of Gollum's malice towards those that had 'robbed' him, and guessing that he would go in search of them to avenge himself, Sauron hoped that his spies would thus be led to the Ring."

[@antoinelachapelle3405]

Wasn't specifically for him to attack the fellowship, more so follow Gollum to the ring, basically have him do the searching for you

[@reginlief1]

@@antoinelachapelle3405 right, but I feel like the potential for Gollum to strike is still useful.

[@Ektuma]

I feel like the lore compendium was written by Chatgpt like, "Repentance is a recurring theme in Tolkein's writing..." This is literally what Chatgpt would write out if you asked it to write a lore with major themes in it.

[@yurifairy2969]

charging money for fucking chatgpt prompts, new low

[@kukuc96]

Nah, Chatgpt writes better than this. Especially in grammar, not necessarily in content.

[@RichardPlaysStuff]

That death animation with the orc, holy shit. Less of a kill, more of a horny bonk.

[@bigbalticbox]

"Quit yer bonering, ya mangy git!" *bonk*

[@TaintedBlood30]

A wise man once said “if a developer can’t be bothered to finish their game, why should I?” This looks like a nightmare.

[@iamnotthatguy7166]

gollum’s facial animation resetting after every bit of dialogue says everything

[@amerlad]

this game is the living epitome of ''our expectations for you were low but HOLY FUCK''.

[@DM-qd7gw]

Totalitarianism low to be specific

[@kjd-s5b]

Me with Biden

[@scrubbingdoubles8585]

Jesus loves you John 3:16-17 Romans 8:35-39 Luke 23:42-43

[@Mr_megido]

@@scrubbingdoubles8585 while I agree with the message I do not believe this is the place for that my friend

[@VSpoodle]

Truly a game that fell out of a time portal from twenty years ago

[@nousername2942]

It looks like one of those Mini CD games you'd get from a Burger King meal in 2003. Those Pokémon games were still better than this shit.

[@8Bit-Tunes]

And it’s odd that this was the first announced next gen title.

[@GoFidoGo]

@@nousername2942 I'm still playing those free burger king games. They slapped

[@socialistquickfix]

It's giving me Fellowship (the video game) vibes. Although I have extreme nostalgia for that game and have zero chance of becoming attached to this.

[@browncoat697]

It strongly reminds me of bad movie tie-in games from the 90s and 2000s, except this isn't even a movie tie-in because it has nothing to do with any recent LOTR adaptation or anything. It's also kind of ironic because the Peter Jackson movies *did* get movie tie-in games, and they were actually really good!

[@ActualBottleman]

Also, I've said it before and I'll say it again: in a universe with so many characters, who in the hell ever actually wanted to play as Gollum's creepy ass?

[@613aristocrat]

It would be really great if this was treated as a horror game with Gollum as the horror villain and the orcs as the guilt free slaughter victims.

[@albireo1533]

You COULD have a really neat game playing as Gollum, it's just that this game utterly failed in every regard to make it

[@Wolfsschamane]

Plenty of ways to make playing gollum interesting, not every game needs to be about heroes. Playing as a vile creature sneaking through the shadows that is willing to do anything and backstab everybody to get to his addiction can be cool if exectued right. Just because you play as Gollum doesn't mean the main story foucs needs to be on him, make him follow and spie on other parties as means for him to find what he wants and tell middle earth stories through that. He never escaped Barad-Dûr himself anyway, he was set free after he had nothing new to tell (and where is the torture in game? Like... why is, so instead Sauron counted on his obsession to make him seek out the new ringbearer and thus make it easier for Sauron's men to find the ring. There is nothing wrong with the premise, just everything else is just terrible, starting with completely ignoring lore and character traits. This is the year of badly written Tolkien spinoffs that make you miss when they refused to give out licenses at all.

[@thesardonicpig3835]

​@@Wolfsschamane I think Gollum is an extremely playable character. He's morally bankrupt and great at parkour, what more do you need? Little Nightmares nailed the "frail, starved amoral protagonist traverses hostile world" premise, so it shouldn't be that hard.

[@AlphaLuna]

Let's remember this game was announced back in March of 2019 and later delayed for two years...Meaning they started working on it at least back in 2018 if not before. I feel so bad for the team who has to put up with a game this long when they probably knew was doomed to fail and of course for LOTR fans...damn.

[@phantomasuras]

Maybe it is a conspiracy to prevent any gamers to even consider reading the books, who knows... At this point anything is possible.

[@hildagrauls5138]

@@phantomasuras like how they destroyed starwars just to make a new generations ready for the trash sagas

[@TatankaTaylor]

​@@hildagrauls5138 No, its nothing like Star Wars. BTW, if Star Wars had been destroyed you wouldn't be talking about it.

[@hildagrauls5138]

@@TatankaTaylor I'm still salty ok. And Rey is very memorable. Yes,as the only Mary Sue who even the actor herself dispises. To each their own I suppose

[@hildagrauls5138]

@@TatankaTaylor btw, why do u act as if I was talking to you... is your yt alias Phantom (edit : ./?) Sleep tight babe

[@unit0148]

It's crazy how good those screenshots looked from the movies after all these years

[@bdlblob]

Its the greatest movie trilogy of all time. No amount of hollywood greed or political bullshit will be able to touch it.

[@ryno4ever433]

It's finally starting to show its age, but it still looks better than this game.

[@BD-zg7is]

well yeah...movie renders will always looks way way way better than real time gameplay

[@fethinggakk4185]

Calling gollum's tasks as chores was the most appropriate word choice used in any review ever made

[@nothingisawesome]

I'm trying to figure out why they left this audio in 0:30

[@Guancous]

“They have Gollum wallrunning like a Titanfall pilot” is a candidate for funniest sentence of this millennium.

[@gaiusjuliuscaesar9296]

None of these words are in the Silmarillion

[@AlonzoTompkins]

Just what I wanted. Gollum becomes a mech pilot!

[@PongoDaMan]

that makes me want it tho lol

[@kunai9809]

the whole parcouring stuff reminds me more of prince of persia

[@AC-hj9tv]

Loolol

[@thegamejunky7223]

As soon as I saw Gollums character model I knew this was in trouble.

[@dumpko]

He looks like a small Victorian child

[@thegamejunky7223]

Yeah 😆 No disrespect, he looks like he is in an old Victorian photo, and he is the victim of a famine and just slipped by the genocide.

[@Shyknit]

It feels like they tried to make him cuter and less scary than in the movies (even though he could be pretty cute imo) and made it worse and now he looks crack addicted 😭

[@ryanm.8720]

If you squint; Gollum kinda looks like Edna Konrad (Edna & Harvey: The Breakout), if she went 80 years without eating or drinking. Humorously; ‘Keeping Up With The Daedalics’ shows that Edna doesn’t have a high opinion of Gollum - for obvious reasons.

[@franlovelsimic8421]

Insane how far the Dreams community has come since its inception!

[@manukau5271]

Pray for the Dreams community 🙏

[@Syae22]

Underrated comment 💀

[@bofa722]

​@@manukau5271 they fallen on low times 😔😔

[@franlovelsimic8421]

@@Syae22 cheers sir!