What To Do If He’s Emotionally Unavailable, "Hot And Cold" Or Only Giving You Crumbs

This is a livestream with Nicole Elissa on what to do if you're attracting (or attracted TO) men who are emotionally unavailable, "hot and cold" or only giving you crumbs. You can learn more about Nicole at nicoleelissa.com/.
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[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Get your personal dating and relationship questions answered here: hop.clickbank.net/?affiliate=helenahart&vendor=makhimwant&pid=femenchant

[@marshawilson8213]

Yes

[@tasrajwani]

I love the reminder that people who are emotionally unavailable are often not even rooting for themselves and they don't feel good enough. How twisted then that we try to prove our worth to someone who doesn't feel worthy himself. That's pretty powerful to become aware of.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I’m glad that resonated with you! 💞

[@ciggytwiggy]

Omg now that you said it.

[@gayathribandi4364]

Wow

[@laci2424]

I find that when I start to feel those familiar feelings of “pain” this person actually becomes more physically attractive. That’s when I know I’m in “trouble” I’m looking to change this ASAP.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Wow, so interesting! It sounds like your awareness around this is fantastic, thanks for sharing your experience here! ❤️

[@madeinhisimage3447]

Yes!!! My childhood upbringing was so toxic and at a very young age I came to associate LOVE with Painful LONGING. 😢

[@falsehoodbasher7240]

@@madeinhisimage3447 same! 😨

[@wanderertatiana2498]

That's really Insightful!! I wish i had realised this much sooner. All the best to you and yes, this is a great indicator!!

[@ananeixon]

I am also there and it’s a pattern... I am much better than in the past and totally aware advocating for me! It’s painful but I have been walking away already many times lately because after a honeymoon period the man starts to pull away and then they don’t come back or put excuses so I move forward. I am observing this and trying to be objective and working with my inner child, being warm anyway but having acceptance

[@ericabassi7728]

When it comes down to it, if you value yourself and understand your true worth then you will be happy whether you are with someone or by yourself and you will feel open to real love not crumbs

[@cr4228]

Correct. And regarding this video: Nope...lots of women are powerful and strong. It is simply a challenge. It is the way women hunt. The idea is to prove to him what he is missout out on. It is not necessarily true that a woman feels less than. Think about it. Women know, they choose to pursue or even to stay. That is the honesty that they live with. Attraction, love is complicated. Facing rejection and still wanting a man is not the thing that hurts. What hurts is trying to force a man to engage and to love you the way you want him to love you. Learning to live on, and to move beyond the man is necessary. If and when he is ready, he, as a hunter will find you, no matter where you are. If you are available at that time, great. If not, friendship is a close second to a love relationship.

[@karendavis1559]

Yes I'm always happy with myself if anyone step in and want to make me unhappy I would chase them away

[@jen4yahwehsal176]

Having a narcissistic parent definitely played a role in tolerating this type of man..well for me it did

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing, I know many people can relate. 💞

[@fy9526]

I can definitely relate to this

[@nurul1408]

Yes.. I agree.. But since we can't choose our parents, how are we going to fix our sense of tolerating this type of man?

[@Corw4808]

definitely me too!

[@koolkat2867]

@@nurul1408 I grew up with two addict sick narcs... I watch these vids a lot and it really helps me learn how to value myself and not put up with their crazy crap

[@mattybaesxp]

It's not just men who are emotionally unavailable, or hot and cold, or giving you crumbs. I'm experiencing that in my life as well.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Absolutely, this can definitely go both ways.

[@cherryboo65b56]

We have to heal our “Dad” issues because it makes us vulnerable.

[@sshuteandrew]

CherryBoo65 Boone yes!!

[@awake6472]

So true no father guiding us as young girls showing us true love

[@Michd0417]

Yea true my dad was only a great provider but not emotional. He thought providing was how he showed love but really he was emotionally unavailable and I tend to attract successful yet emotionally unavailable men. It hurts.

[@riobrasilsambashowssambist1453]

Or MOM who disappeared bcz mom is 1st caretaker

[@carolinabu7412]

@@Michd0417 it seems that was the way was believed in those times

[@pronobiska]

I found it useful when detaching from an emotionally unavailable man to change his name on my phone to "Stringing along", as this is often what they do ("mine" certainly did it). Then when he'd come back after a week or two he'd pop up on my phone as "Stringing along" instead of his name, that stirred strong emotions in me. So it was easy to say no or to let him go to my voicemail because I.had this reminder about his true intentions popping up at the same time he was contacting me. Of course if you can block him you don't need to do it. I just found that blocking creates extra drama for me and since this man lives nearby it would be rather useless and a bit embarrassing. So I chose to instead just fade away, making excuses and not calling back. He was so unavailable and so "its it's all about him" that he didn't even notice I was fading away :D.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here! This video might also be helpful for anyone who wants to let go and move on from a man like this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aoSlqYh9h6d5nKs

[@pronobiska]

@@HelenaHartCoaching Fantastic advice, thank you so much Helena!

[@KatErina-ii6ru]

That’s pretty smart!! I might try it 😆💞

[@carolebitz3207]

You're nor missing Anything because it's your love not his

[@ojala5555]

😁👍

[@espydelcampo3053]

I am mad at myself for letting it drag on so long. I knew he wasn't for me. I never saw me with him in the future and started feeling a lot of anxiety every time I was with him instead of being happy. I think my body was telling me to cut him off and now he did something that hurt me so much. I blocked him on phone and social media. Ladies protect your ❤ heart. I was there for him because he lost loved ones and don't think he was or is emotionally ready.it was always about him.

[@beaulieuonnp593]

sorry to hear that. It is emotionally draining having this pattern so much. I kept a secret diary so I could see this pattern and it wasn't me imagining things

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Sorry to hear you just went through this. These videos might help confirm that you made the right decision: kzbin.info/www/bejne/pXfZl4GjjLKom6c and kzbin.info/www/bejne/b4bMdI2pg6-tpNE.

[@awake6472]

So hard the guy that breadcrumbs lives next door ugh. Unconsciously want to break it but consciously it’s hard. I have to learn that just because a man gives me attention there is not always something there. The truth is l need to treasure myself. No Love in childhood can drive us to look for love in all the wrong places

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Yes, absolutely! This video might be helpful for you: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aoSlqYh9h6d5nKs

[@pure-pisces9470]

I totally agree, understand & do the same thing attatch way to soon & struggle to detatch - due to childhood abandonment/issues, but am so tired of suffering & am determined to change this somehow. i so feel your pain, I wish you well 💕

[@efeyaachaa4870]

Working on myself on this. Thks

[@marejensen8294]

i am in the same situation...my love interest is a close neighbor too.....we have been seeing each other for over a month now but he drives me crazy......i feel like I am on a roller coaster and I HATE GAMES......if he doesn't like me he should just be honest instead of bread crumbing me

[@kimgordon3695]

Choose YOURSELF 💝

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Yes, that’s so important! 💞

[@maysaraali5772]

ALWAYS!

[@I.C.U.in_Me]

I had an AHA moment when Nicole spoke around 31:30 in the video. I realised: A man can only be available for our emotions and feeling when WE OURSELVES are available to listen to our own feelings and accept, love and nourish them! Wauw! Thank you for this insight! ♥️

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome, Ellie! Yes, that’s so important to keep in mind - I’m glad that resonated with you! 💞

[@iknowwhatsup2880]

Translation for unavailable- they're not that into you. That's it. Mirror the behavior, walk away. I'm going to guess these same women do the same to other men they aren't that excited about. We want what we can't have. Rejection is protection. We all do it!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here! This video should be helpful for anyone who wants to walk away from a man like this: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aoSlqYh9h6d5nKs

[@iknowwhatsup2880]

@@HelenaHartCoaching You're welcome, so grateful for you. It's not easy, but you help women see there value.

[@laci2424]

Learn to make myself available for the man that’s ready for me 🔥

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Yes, absolutely! 💕

[@SarahZmina]

When I was a kid I always chased friends and guys. I never felt good enough until I got that friend or that guy. I’ve been trying so hard to not repeat the cycle of attracting men who are emotionally unavailable. I have a guy who wants to be with me and one who is fresh out of his divorce and not emotionally available. I find myself more attracted and available to the guy who is emotionally unavailable. Changing that thought process is so hard.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here Sarah, I know many women can relate. These videos might be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/kF7Uf5WYnZujf7c , kzbin.info/www/bejne/houTi3qpadaZpK8 and kzbin.info/www/bejne/f3KnlGlqps2ggNU.

[@Bogna1]

Similar experience here in terms of chasing friends. Always wanted to be a friend with girl that I felt was better, prettier than me etc. Very long time, till my university stage.

[@jmarie4875]

The problem I have with staying stuck is that he SAID he wanted a relationship.. he said he wanted those things and was very good to me. Then one day out of the blue said he couldn't do a relationship and needed ti be free, only to come back a month later say that he made a mistake by letting me go. Admitted he looked at my Instagram and wanted to come see me at work that he missed me. I gave him a second chance and a month later said that he cant do a relationship he just needs to be free. This is what messes women up. This is why we have problems. We believe what they say and if they are good then we believe. Now I'm just messed up.

[@sabrinaoliveira3654]

While I do understand your frustration, I believe that the reason why we attract these types of guys in the first place is because there is work to be done within US. RUN away and never go back to that guy. Stability is not something you will have with him if that's what you're looking for.

[@heide-raquelfuss5580]

@@sabrinaoliveira3654 I think that we attract all kind of guys. And it has not allways to do with us. Guys want a woman. Any woman, who gives them sex. Sex is such a strong motivator for men..., they go to every woman, who gives that freely easaly. It is like in nature. Males go for sex and use everithing on their power to get it. To ensiminate. And then after that, they go. Hot & cold. They had sex. They spread their semen allready. Pill or not pill. Condom or not condom. It does not matter at all. It is a primitive old instinct. A penis enters a vagina and it is over soon. Period. Very sad in a way indeed. But nature does not give a f$%k about wathever else. Women on the other hand want a man or male to commit. Because a woman/female knows instinctively, that a commitment is key to survive with the puppies, who come, with dealing with a man/male. She knows by nature, that sex will come, when dealing with a man. She needs him to stay. For her and the kiddo's. But a man, is not getting pregnant,when he has sex with a female. His life, body, survival, does not change, when he enseminates her, during sex. So, basically, he does not NEED her, for survival. He does not NEED her to deal with the consequences with dealing with a child or (children), because they do not grow inside him. Period. He can go, when he pleases. No responsabilities. It is her..., HER problem after been ensiminated. He did his job to spreading his genes. Reasing kids, puppies need a lot of energy. So, women have it to endure. Endure for years with no end. But the male is finished after a few minutes. It sounds not fair. It is not fair. Nature is not fair. Nature is hard. Nature does not care about fairness. It just is. Spreading your genes. Women do it. Men do it. But for the woman, the costs and energy, time given is terrible hard. Not for men. Men are oportunistic. Women are too oportunistic. But yes, women are in a disanvantage on this. Men or a man can only be trained to commit, when you do not give in on sex. You need to train him to be not disposable. To train him to mis you. YOU. He needs to be aware, that he is better of WITH you, than without YOU. A woman needs to bond with a man, to show him, his and yours, is more pleasurable, then leaving you, to another female to make her pregnant. If a woman can make it thrue the hoops and make the man so emotional connected to her, then he maybe will commit, stay, and go for the long howl. But here is the shit-part. People in general are more likely to stay, with people, who remain them of their house of upbringing. They choose to stay with a woman/man that remind them of their parental structures, manerisms, how they behaved, look like, scents, the dinamic they grew up with..., and so on. Even physical features, how they expressed themselves, resolved conflicts, verbal intelligence, morals, ethics or not ethics, household interiors, and so much more. People stay more often and longer together, when things where similar to their homes of upbringing. And a man is also a human, so he feels 'at home' again. The things that he knows, experienced, that cosiness and 'familiar'. If you, as a woman, feels, deep down, that you come from another 'background', different values, ethics, manerisms, beliefs, culture, verbal intelligence, iq, emotional intelligence, household scents and similar cooking, cleaning, running a household alltogether... So to speak, another backgrowd, you will not be the woman, who can tame him to commit. A wild animal will not easaly commit. But he will eventually, if he finds 'his tribe', or 'clan', or ?. My father commited to my mother. Because she nagged and put him down, critisized him, was never emotional supportive, emotional cold, had big front teeth, she had essential tremor. He chosse to stay with my mother because of her traits and character, her bedroom eyes, tremor, and all. Go figure! Lived a miserable life. He was confronted with the same pains as he was as a child basically. The big teeth, the bedroom eyes, essential tremor felt familiar. And even the non stop critisism and nagging 24/7. The never supporting mother And father, was the 'familiar' feeling he had all his life. From baby to adult. So, ladies... Be very, very, very, carefull, when to have sex with a man. A man will want to have sex, with EVERY woman on earth, as long he spreads his seed. A man will only commit, if he feels 'familiar' with, due to childhood upbringing. And a woman, needs to know, everything on forehand, before sleeping with a man, to receive his ' sperm' to create new life. A man wants a woman. But does not need one really. A man generally is better off with no woman and childten at all. Think it deeply ladies. Please. A man will commit. But only to the woman with 80% of familiarity with his own upbringing. Do not commit with men, who have toxic homes and toxic parents. The strong and willpowered men, who read books about psychology, follow seminars, read articles to grow, change, because they figured their upbringing where toxic, and they absolutely want to grow to be better parents and husbands... You can give them a chance. The other 95% are just waste of your time, and resources, energy, trust, and your youthfull years. Your time and youth do not come back. Realize this. You are totally on your own ladies and mothers in the future. Choose very, very, very wisely. You do not get a 2cond chance in life in general. It is really up to you, how you life will be. Make very wise conclusions and life decisions. Kind regards from belgium. P.S. please, do not be offended, because i just said, what i said.

[@craneshashaw]

That is narcissism. He has no empathy for you, he knows you care and knows what you want and need, but is intentionally not giving it to you. He's still looking for others to supply his needs; when he finds what he believes is better, he leaves, when they leave or figure him out, he comes back because he knows you'll ALWAYS be by his side. Zo, he comes back licking his wounds, then starts his search again. He walks on your boundaries, and disregards them. His wrongs were inspired by something you said, did, or something "be thought" about you. He bread crumbs (gives you enough to stay), but he shows you who he is through his actions and words that cut so deep. The relationship is spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically damaging. Quitting on someone you have so much faith in is hard, but laying down your life for such an individual is death. You have to withhold your emotions, your wants, your compassion and intimacy, your smiles, and STOP rewarding bad behavior. YOU ARE THE REWARD; YOU ARE THE PRISE; YES, I KNOW, YOU FORGOT BC HE IS MANIPULATIVE IN MAKING YOU FEEL LESS. Be withdrawn, and focused on the things that serve you. Make him less of a priority, build yourself, join groups, go to the gym, give yourself a date night with self, plan each day to celebrate you. He will come wondering why you're not waiting at the floor of the table, on his bread crumbs to fall like an ole hound dog. This goes for men too. It is hard to let go of what does not serve us. We are used to sticking to what we believe in through thick and thin, but we are not in that century where our grandparents came up anymore. The world now is about pruning, not trying to revive dead leaves. If a person shows you that they bear no fruit, they bear no fruit. Look up the fruits of the spirit, if tgey are not consistently showing up this is a bad fit. Cinderella could only wear her shoe, bc it was her shoe. Squeezing in to something that is not for you will be uncomfortable, and all results, medically and physically will be bad. Give yourself a date, and if things are not great on that day, you choose a different journey. It will be painful at first, but you'll heal and be glad you chose you, when no one else would. My date is September 10th, or until I reach the one gosl Im striving for. This is the second time around. An expiration date on neglect, cheating, lies, belittling, discarding, devaluing, etc is necessary. Choose yourself EVERY DAY, and get out of putting others first. It takes daily practice for you to not keep treating yourself like others who are toxic have been.

[@TanzaniteHayley]

Ugh what a child!! He’s an embarrassment to men and women deserve better

[@rebeccamay1111]

@@heide-raquelfuss5580 very good information. I can see this playing out in relationships. Even in my own relationships. Thank you for sharing.

[@jomayo1678]

I have wrestled with myself for quite sometime in my present relationship. Breadcrumbs are what I've accepted and eaten, actions have spoken louder than words, I'm in a real heartbreak state but know I must leave. I've been dependant on him as he saved me from an addiction almost 2 years ago. I've got to get back to where my origional home is in another province, I'm literally only able to take 2 suitcases. I hang in the balance right now as hes away at work camp, my plan is to get on a plane or train and to not look back......I've never felt so bankrupt and empty and realize he cannot even be honest with himself. Say a prayer for me...... I need to do this! It's time for me to get my life to ME!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Much love to you during this time! This video might be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aoSlqYh9h6d5nKs

[@beaulieuonnp593]

hope you are getting on ok, you are doing the right thing

[@jomayo1678]

@@HelenaHartCoaching ill watch this. Here i am 9 months later having left for the last time as i fell for the lies.... my grieving is off and on, but i actually wake with a smile now.....there she is!!! Thats me, content, happy, growing ❤

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

@@jomayo1678 I’m happy to hear that you’re feeling more like yourself again! 💗

[@TanyaP822]

Be safe..Stay strong..I PRAY u ok..Spirit watch over her..Amen..

[@mellisarankine6448]

I'm new to your channel and I'm already loving it. Thank you guys so much for what you do. It's people like you, who gives people like me, the chance to really look at things from a different perspective and to see that there is hope after heartbreak. Dealing with an emotionally unavailable man can really hurt you to the point where it destroys your whole self-worth and I appreciate you guys for shining some light on this dark issue.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You're welcome Melissa, I'm so glad this was helpful for you!

[@wanderertatiana2498]

Here here!

[@ananeixon]

If he is giving you crumbs, give him crumbs back. Period 😂

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing! 💞

[@marissavaldez4735]

I love your channel and also when you and Nicole chat! Would you two ever talk about how to begin healing your inner child? 😍❤️

[@NicoleElissaLoveCoach]

Glad it connects with you Marissa! That would be an amazing topic!

[@marissavaldez4735]

Yes...this whole topic does!@@NicoleElissaLoveCoach

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

That’s a great idea Marissa, thanks for the suggestion! 💜

[@Kimberly-qo5qp]

I would also love a video abot that. Can't find it somewhere else.

[@Trisa8]

Forgiving yourself first. We want to believe that whatever bad thing happened to us in our childhood somehow we are to blame. I found that once I truly understood that I was the child/teen, I forgave myself for blaming myself. I put the blame on the adults in the situation. Hugs

[@VivVal33]

I enjoy watching you two chat, Helena and Nicole. You touch women’s topics in an honest and soft way. You make it easy to understand the dynamics of love and relationships. True love starts within. Many blessings!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thank you Viviana, I’m glad you enjoyed this! ❤️

[@avril.227]

I do believe when you are truly happy and focusing that energy on yourself and your own world, you will have more than enough attention. I’ve actually been taking a break because of serious health issues which has really dragged down my energy. However, I’m grateful and surprised to see that since I’ve pulled back and been content with healing and my own journey that I still get asked out. In fact asked out more. I think this is because I have had to make more of an effort to put so much more energy into my own life, and that’s attractive, instead of being my normal flirty self. I was probably giving off either too eager vibes before or making too much time for the men I liked, and their desires.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks so much for sharing your experience here AprilDC, that’s exactly how it works! 💖

[@raquelfalgout8040]

I love everything Nicole is saying, it’s eye opening. Helena is the best and she always has amazing guest, I love the chemistry and these videos are helping me so much!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thank you Raquel, I'm so happy to hear these videos are helping you!

[@iknowwhatsup2880]

He's not interested, move on. I really wish we could get past the b.s. and just say what you're thinking. Maybe you don't really want what you think you want... we are sending signals that might cause them to act the way they do.

[@kimgordon3695]

Respectfully... Men do whatever they want until someone sets the bar. It's a romantic dance or a mosh pit. We get to C*H*O*O*S*E

[@iknowwhatsup2880]

@@kimgordon3695 they still choose who they ask out. Most girls wait for guy to approach and ask out on dates.

[@ak-47intelligence75]

I can't explain it but reading this sent me into an AHA moment.

[@letimarquez1912]

Thank You Ladies!!!!! This video is gonna help so many women, i thank thr gods for youtube and youtubers you guys have changed my life! Preach on!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You're welcome, I'm so happy to hear that!

[@Corw4808]

This is exactly what I needed to hear ❤️ I am so thankful for your ladies guidance!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I’m glad this was helpful for you! 💗

[@courthneysmith7243]

Been honest to one's self is the best thing.

[@2daldridge]

Yes fall in love with your own journey! I've been comparing myself to what's happening for others. I have an ex who recently said he's fallin in love after a few dates and now in a relationship and has never felt this way before. Can't tell you what that has done to my ego and already fragile self worth but must appreciate my own journey. I left him because he didn't want a relationship and I'm still on the journey while he's in love. Smh

[@cr4228]

Good for you. His "love" is not the kind of love you deserve. She will find out that his "love" is what it isn't. And about this video: Nope...lots of women are powerful and strong. It is simply a challenge. It is the way women hunt. The idea is to prove to him what he is missout out on. It is not necessarily true that a woman feels less than. Think about it. Women know, they choose to pursue or even to stay. That is the honesty that they live with. Attraction, love is complicated. Facing rejection and still wanting a man is not the thing that hurts. What hurts is trying to force a man to engage and to love you the way you want him to love you. Learning to live on, and to move beyond the man is necessary. If and when he is ready, he, as a hunter will find you, no matter where you are. If you are available at that time, great. If not, friendship is a close second to a love relationship.

[@lawofattractionsparks9235]

I deserve a man who choose me now ❤

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Love it, thanks for sharing!

[@wanderertatiana2498]

Hell yes!!

[@lindsay5348]

Oh my god!!!!!!!!. I so needed this !!!!! You ladies are angels 👼

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I’m so glad this was helpful for you! 💗

[@pratishtha2802]

This is so pure. Devine feminine over anything. 🌷

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thank you! 💗

[@beeblebomb]

I met my dream guy. I mean almost the total package for the first time in yeeeaaarrss. I got hooked fast, and then as soon as we slept together, boom, he distanced himself. And I remember him telling me that he was emotionally unavailable, that he needed to do his shadow work, etc. we are Going to have a talk about this for sure, but I definitely am grateful for this talk because it’s reminding me that no matter how the man comes, if he isn’t emotionally available, then he is not the one that I need to be spending my time with

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here! 💜 Yes, I talk more about that type of man and dynamic in this video: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mn3NZJKqptl2o9E

[@bethanythebaby6255]

Yes last year I was holding on but now I'm working on improving and reach a better place/ someone

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I'm happy to hear that!

[@dindi380]

Thanks for this helpful and empowering video for women ❤

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re very welcome! 💗

[@niab7212]

This video provides so much clarity . Thank you Helena

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You're welcome!

[@katies.7109]

Wow....this video was exactly what I needed to hear right now. I have watched many, many videos and you guys are the best out there. Thank you.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome Katie, I’m so glad this was helpful! 💜

[@tasrajwani]

I use to mistake butterfly feelings, that happened almost instantaneously with a guy, for love. Now I take more time getting to know what the connection really is. But now, when I don't feel butterflies, I think oh, i guess it's okay because that must mean this is healthier and more rooted in reality. But how do I know if that is the case, or if I really just have no chemistry with this person and it isn't the right guy? It just feels very disconnected being with this kind of guy lately. How can I find that balance? I want to be attracted and have a real relationship, not just one or the other.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Great question! I’d say it’s all about letting some time go by and seeing how things unfold organically, rather than trying to figure it all out right now. If after a few weeks or a couple months you’re not developing that deeper attraction and chemistry, it’s a clue that this probably isn’t the right person for you. This video might be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/Y3qtco2XjLqfg9k

[@tasrajwani]

@@HelenaHartCoaching thank you so much!!! 💖💖💖

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

@@tasrajwani You’re welcome! 💕

[@tasrajwani]

I love this video, and it makes a lot of sense. I have done this a lot in the past, attracting unavailable men because I was not sure of my worth. But the part that confuses me is that I had a very loving, caring mom, who raised me, and never made me feel less than. She always accepted me the way I was and showed me that I didn't need to be or do anything to prove anything to her or anyone else. So where did I get this feeling of unworthiness? Maybe because my dad wasn't around? It feels like such a mystery to me where this craving validation came from for me because I didn't feel abandoned as a child. I felt deeply loved.

[@electricladyland4421]

both so stunning and filled with knowledge and inspiration!!❤️

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thank you so much! 💖

[@lindabloomfield2262]

Just dump him.. he isn’t into you.

[@Gardenpath11]

Helena Hart what about a man that you realize he’s emotionally unavailable and then tell him your not interested because I’m looking for more. And he just doesn’t stop contacting you. Regardless of what you say. Then I felt ok maybe I’m wrong, so I let him back in just to find he’s displaying same pattern. I’m confused.

[@Gardenpath11]

Thank you for your insight Nicole Herbst Yes you are right definitely. I’m sad because I let myself get caught up. I told him yesterday please be fair and don’t contact me unless you decide differently. So far so good. I will get over it. Im tired of my pattern. It’s exhausting. I’m working on it.

[@kimgordon3695]

That's a Narc playing the field....

[@avril.227]

He’s insecure. He just wants the thrill of the chase and can’t deal when the situation is “real”. I just called a man a few months back on this. It could be many reasons but I It’s extremely disrespectful.

[@Gardenpath11]

AprilDC you know what’s funny, this post was a year ago and he still contacts me lol He wants a FWB situation so it seems to me. He just said that’s my perception. I said then what’s yours...? No straight answer of course. I’m not interested in him anyway. He does have issues , his ex was on drugs and did a real head game on him. Shame!

[@dewichintalee9615]

Been in that situation. Thanks🙏im moving on. Like most women we are all attracted to chemistry an thinking about the illusion of a guy whom we thought its my type!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here. I’m happy to hear you’re moving on! 💕

[@Melanie-icywynterr1]

God definitely want us to learn from our mistakes so he will keep sending the same ppl til we learn and grow n wont make the same mistake God is so good trust God only God bless you for this...

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here, Melanie! 💜

[@Melanie-icywynterr1]

Your welcome God bless you hun🥰

[@elishachante6773]

Wow wow wow thankyou ladies for sharing this! Wish I heard this a year ago but so grateful to hear it now. I just want to thankyou both for your divine knowledge

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re very welcome, Elisha! ❤️

[@NicoleElissaLoveCoach]

You are more than welcome, Elisha!

[@Stephanie-pi4kd]

I'm so glad I found this video today, I can relate to all of this, it's me, I need to let go and not be in denial with my true feelings, Ugh it's so hard. He's gone out of my life since Saturday. He left.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I'm glad this came at the right time for you, Tina! This video should also be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aoSlqYh9h6d5nKs

[@samc5047]

And I have been asking male dating coaches and watching their KZbin videos on emotionally distant men and none of them address the issue the way Nicole does 🤦🏼‍♀️🤷🤔💚

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Nicole is awesome! I just recorded a couple more videos with her that I’ll be posting soon. 💕

[@joycecollins8114]

Kev Hicks

[@LX12399]

Love this vid. So frustrating though as consciously I really really know this stuff but it’s still not helping my subconscious which seems to be overriding all!

[@cr4228]

Nope...lots of women are powerful and strong. It is simply a challenge. It is the way women hunt. The idea is to prove to him what he is missout out on. It is not necessarily true that a woman feels less than. Think about it. Women know, they choose to pursue or even to stay. That is the honesty that they live with. Attraction, love is complicated. Facing rejection and still wanting a man is not the thing that hurts. What hurts is trying to force a man to engage and to love you the way you want him to love you. Learning to live on, and to move beyond the man is necessary. If and when he is ready, he, as a hunter will find you, no matter where you are. If you are available at that time, great. If not, friendship is a close second to a love relationship.

[@sunflower4418]

So always let the guy always come to you?

[@maguiedossantos2925]

ALWAYS... Never take the first step, leave that to him

[@marejensen8294]

@@maguiedossantos2925 that is INSANED and so stupid.....

[@britebulb19604]

i too have settled for crumbs. I am constantlyseeking a mans approval,

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Hi Stella, this is SUCH a common situation - most of us have experienced this at some point. Here are some videos that might be helpful for you: kzbin.info/www/bejne/m4a7eouMprSnY6c, kzbin.info/www/bejne/f3KnlGlqps2ggNU, kzbin.info/www/bejne/h2rSeaaoa7eXhpo and kzbin.info/www/bejne/aoSlqYh9h6d5nKs.

[@Matzzz23603]

This was soooo good!!! I’m happy it appeared for me to see cause I learned so much. I understand why I’m suffering with this emotionally unavailable man of 5 yrs too long. 💔

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I’m glad you enjoyed this! These videos should also be helpful for you: kzbin.info/www/bejne/f3KnlGlqps2ggNU, kzbin.info/www/bejne/houTi3qpadaZpK8, kzbin.info/www/bejne/kJ27nmeHrtOjfK8, kzbin.info/www/bejne/n6WWnKlpfpyVebc and kzbin.info/www/bejne/aoSlqYh9h6d5nKs.

[@raevision8060]

Thank you ladies, this was very helpful! 🎀

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome, I’m glad this helped! 💝

[@socialite8218]

Thank you Helena and Nicole. 💖

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome! 💞

[@hawtain4399]

I wonder if a guy like this would act completely differently with a girl he was really into? Maybe they’re emotionally unavailable because they’re just not that into us. It’s a hard pill to swallow but I think sadly that’s what’s going on.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

That’s a good point! Yes, that’s often the case - and the inner work would be similar if you find yourself drawn towards or attached to men who aren’t that into you. I talk more about that in these videos: kzbin.info/www/bejne/mn3NZJKqptl2o9E, kzbin.info/www/bejne/qn26kJ2crZZ7arc, kzbin.info/www/bejne/lZukg6uho8hkbJI, kzbin.info_iPJxM7VwQo?feature=share and kzbin.info/www/bejne/rarOhY2CZtSCnZY.

[@craneshashaw]

That is narcissism. He has no empathy for you, he knows you care and knows what you want and need, but is intentionally not giving it to you. He's still looking for others to supply his needs; when he finds what he believes is better, he leaves, when they leave or figure him out, he comes back because he knows you'll ALWAYS be by his side. So, he comes back licking his wounds, then starts his search again. He walks on your boundaries, and disregards them. His wrongs were inspired by "something you said, did," or something "he thought" about you. He bread crumbs (gives you enough to stay), but he shows you who he is through his actions and words that cut so deep. The relationship is spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically damaging. Quitting on someone you have so much faith in is hard, but laying down your life for such an individual is death. You have to withhold your emotions, your wants, your compassion and intimacy, your smiles, and STOP rewarding bad behavior. YOU ARE THE REWARD; YOU ARE THE PRISE; YES, I KNOW, YOU FORGOT BC HE IS MANIPULATIVE IN MAKING YOU FEEL LESS. Be withdrawn, and focused on the things that serve you. Make him less of a priority, build yourself, join groups, go to the gym, give yourself a date night with self, plan each day to celebrate you. He will come wondering why you're not waiting at the floor of the table, on his bread crumbs to fall like an ole hound dog. This goes for men too. It is hard to let go of what does not serve us. We are used to sticking to what we believe in through thick and thin, but we are not in that century where our grandparents came up anymore. The world now is about pruning, not trying to revive dead leaves. If a person shows you that they bear no fruit, they bear no fruit. Look up the fruits of the spirit, if they are not consistently showing up this is a bad fit. Cinderella could only wear her shoe, bc it was her shoe. Squeezing in to something that is not for you will be uncomfortable, and all results, medically and physically will be bad. Give yourself a date, and if things are not great on that day, you choose a different journey. It will be painful at first, but you'll heal and be glad you chose you, when no one else would. My date is September 10th, or until I reach the one goal Im striving for. This is the second time around. An expiration date on neglect, cheating, lies, belittling, discarding, devaluing, etc is necessary. Choose yourself EVERY DAY, and get out of putting others first. It takes daily practice for you to not keep treating yourself like others who are toxic have been. The truth of the matter: he does not want you romantically. He wants a stand in for his mother, to give what his mother never did, and to punish the one giving it. As a mother does, give love even with him doing wrong, while expecting better behavior. Do not have high expectations; your expectations in this person will only let you down. They think they are healing by inflicting pain on another, and you cannot alter this condition in a person. They need counseling, but do not see that there is anything wrong. They manipulate the counselor into thinking that it's you and the world, abd they're the victim. So go, fix you, and let a higher power fix them. This is for men and women. Stop trying to fix daddy and mommy issues, and go pour love into everything that serves you. When an engine is blown, you can't waste time tying to put the pieces back. This person is not a Lego; you can't build a man, or build a woman; you cant snap on the love, affection, respect that you deserve(it's not in this pile). You are draining you, tor someone who does not even see losing you as a threat. But, there is someone waiting for you to give them a chance to give you everything you deserve. Your interest in fixing this person is blocking you from your destiny. And no, you did not fail; they did (intentionally). This is their track record for every relationship, they will always be a lone, or find soneone else willing to stay and fix. If you want to stay and fix someone like this, it's best to go back to school to get your degree for counseling, but know that when you do fix them, you may be fixing them for someone else. Is it worth tge education, all for not knowing? I've made in my mind that I want to spend the rest of my life with him; he's made up in his mind that i am his servant and furthermore disposable. So, he can go anywhere and come back, bc he knows I'll be there. If he did not know I'd stay and be ever forgiving, or expect and demand more he would stiffen up on respect and valuing. Word of advice: Be conservative with your love, care, and concern until it is shown consistently for you.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here! This video should be helpful for anyone looking to leave a toxic relationship like that: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oZSqXoiqp5h3prM

[@medicalmommies]

On Point! The guy told me I’m like his mother. That was the end for me.

[@simsim876]

Thank you! Brilliantly explained in so much depth and so insightful. You hit the nail on the head. It really is as simple as that, to just let go…and do you

[@dr.meehikagaikwad7731]

What a talk😍!! you guys talk so perfect👍!! so helping 💕💕

[@NicoleElissaLoveCoach]

I am glad it connects! Blessings!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I’m so glad this was helpful! 💜

[@zainabamadahy9918]

So helpful to me. Thank you.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome! These videos might also be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/e3fdm4OPqNKShs0si=gctl6dcmD0qzA8-5, kzbin.info_iPJxM7VwQo?si=ejGmn0hTPu0nTE-T, kzbin.info/www/bejne/f3KnlGlqps2ggNUsi=JjxwCbjjIO_Toii0 and kzbin.info/www/bejne/n6WWnKlpfpyVebcsi=J8H7RZl0DSEWYfSo.

[@Michd0417]

This was so timely for me. Thank you

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome, I’m glad this was helpful! 🧡

[@yb9396]

Hi Helena and Nichole, great job today. I am also in a LDR .

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thank you! 💝

[@valengracevalenzuela522]

I watch this I said to my self this I need to hear now I realize why I will beg that kind person that not my deserve

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here. 💙 These episodes might be helpful for anyone who can relate: kzbin.info/www/bejne/e3fdm4OPqNKShs0si=H0lUEo5kdcKactEq, kzbin.info/www/bejne/gGe1coCBmNqHfNUsi=QYoNZ8MMvM02TF2O, kzbin.infoPRQ44DZTNA8?si=otGJ1Anx2GEmgyIr, kzbin.info/www/bejne/rarOhY2CZtSCnZYsi=YoYO8LRqho36iEZx, kzbin.infogQNmkJHeNxo?si=iQlqcUyKRVC9GXop and kzbin.info/www/bejne/n6WWnKlpfpyVebcsi=L2hxBEoG-gtaygFv.

[@jeanafranklin1231]

My husband and i are separated and he changed his number. A few months ago he gave me his new number. He had a mental breakdown but he started opening up to me and saying positive things. He wasnt texting back then one day when i asked i if he wanted one of our dogs for the day..he text back 'busy today'. Wow you would have thought id won a pony. Then i stopped myself and thought..im dancing around like a bird thats been starving all winter and gets a crumb of cake. What the heck?? And this awesome guy who ive known forever who is gorgeous and funny texts me and says he really wanted to hug me and he was thinking of me ..how was i ?? And im like..meh. 😨😨😲 I mean my husband and i have been together for 18 years. He was great before the breakdown. I dunno whats going on in my brain!!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here Jeana, I know many women can relate to only wanting what they can’t have right now. 💜

[@coachnoor]

Thanks sister..Love from Algeria 🇩🇿❤

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome! 💗

[@ciggytwiggy]

I cant believe I finally felt this way after 9 months.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here! 💜

[@juliecarson4332]

I'm here and ready to learn

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I hope this helped! Here are a couple more videos I recorded with Nicole on this topic if you’d like to learn more: kzbin.info/www/bejne/f3KnlGlqps2ggNU, kzbin.info/www/bejne/aoSlqYh9h6d5nKs and kzbin.info/www/bejne/kF7Uf5WYnZujf7c.

[@jacquinewman8125]

Brilliant and cuts to the core of truth. Thank you

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome, Jacqui! 💜

[@charmingyoutuber2408]

There is only one answer to this: WALK THE FUCK AWAY. He doesn’t want you sis, go find someone who does.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here, Cassie - I agree! 💜

[@littledoona15]

Brilliant ladies, brilliant topics

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thank you, Dana! 💜

[@traceyscott5852]

I've been Going through it now for nearly a year. Single for 10 years prior. I attracted a younger man which felt great, he would ghost me and I walked away twice. Each reconnection we talked about everything and bamn he's done it again, but without any closure or reasons is the hardest thing to deal with atm.....

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Sorry to hear you’re going through this right now, Tracey. This video might be helpful in terms of finally letting go and moving on: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aoSlqYh9h6d5nKs

[@mscarter1111]

I needed to hear this!!!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I'm glad this was helpful!

[@andreamiller2281]

This is my favorite of your videos! So excellent, thank you! :)

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome, Andrea! This is one of my favorites too. 💕

[@AboriginalWoman_]

So True !! I enjoyed this

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I’m glad you enjoyed this! 💜

[@jenifervanderveen8501]

Wow! This helped me so much !

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I’m glad this was helpful for you, Jenifer! 💕

[@chandnis373]

THANK YOU for this message xx

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome! 💕

[@valariecrebbs4751]

You both are great together.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thank you, Valarie! 💞

[@awoman6204]

Amazing info ladies!!! Thank you!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome, Carrie!

[@Wooddweller]

lovely information

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thank you! 💜 These videos I recorded with Nicole might also be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/f3KnlGlqps2ggNU and kzbin.info/www/bejne/aoSlqYh9h6d5nKs.

[@fc9588]

Why is it for me I tolerate bs for one person but not anyone else

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Hi Fatima, that’s actually a really common situation. This video might be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/f3KnlGlqps2ggNU

[@michellesmith2399]

@Helena Hart ..... my man has PTSD and it guts me when he pulls away/isolates when he's going through a rough time. I respect this and totally get it. I give him the space when he needs it. But he can shut down over night but he doesn't tell me and I have no idea what he is going through. He doesn't call or reply to messages. I've learnt over time, when I know he's not in a good place, to give him space and live my life. If I Express my feelings he wants to not be with me because he doesn't want to hurt me and be responsible for it so he pushes me away. So I don't open up and tell him but I feel terrible during the unknown. Any advice how to handle someone with PTSD?

[@karly117]

Helena and Adrienne everhart did a video on that

[@ironylulz]

I suffer from PTSD. Everything you’re saying about your dude is what my ex-husband said about me. That I shut down, that I don’t open up, etc. The worst thing a partner can do to me is take my condition personally. That’s what my ex did. And I always told him, this has nothing to do with you. The more he took it personally, the more I felt like *I* was causing *him* harm. In other words, I’m harming him with my PTSD. This would shut me down even more, double down on silence, filled with shame at my own monstrosity and how awful a person I must be for putting my partner through hell - even though I’m the one who has to battle the fucking pain of trauma. So now there are two traumas - the original one, and then the new trauma from thinking that I’m causing my partner trauma because I’m traumatized and so now there’s a vortex of shame and guilt of how us with PTSD must be fucking up our loved ones. And they wonder why we shut down. You taking my PTSD personally basically guarantees that I will ice you out. Though you didn’t cause my original trauma, you’re putting me through more trauma and making me relive it when you think I owe you my emotional expression. And so we slip into our addictions and isolation. Because we can’t heal as long as we think we are traumatizing you with our own trauma. It’s just not fucking fair to anyone.

[@hrc81]

It’s their job to heal and to do their part to process those things. It’s not okay to behave poorly no matter what we’ve been through. We must protect our relationships by being accountable and not letting the past dictate the present/future…

[@angiezimmerman5868]

I'm watching and thank yo girls.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome Angie, hope it helps! 💕

[@keonagirl435]

Alot is this MESS is soo true!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Yes, absolutely! 💜

[@cherrylee2767]

Lovely

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thank you! 💕

[@tracymcneely8173]

Thanks for video and advise so much

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome, Tracy! ❤️

[@marshawilson8213]

Yes I am

[@pinknickfotografia5046]

😍❤️ such a nice video!! Thanks...

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome! 💕

[@keonagirl435]

Dealing with grown boys is a little challenging. Ladies run from them. Quantum date.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Yes, it’s important to never settle for less than what you truly want and deserve! 💕

[@fitzgerald434]

I feel lost in my situation, I haven't dated a lot but I met this really nice girl online and the day of our second date she told me that she was not ready for a relationship and her intentions were to get romantically involved. The next day she went more into detail about how she was emotionally unavailable and she has a lot of personal issues sadly and she opened up and trusted me to tell me. We both said we wanted to stay friends and didn't want to lose our connection but ever since the end of November up until now its been hot and very cold moments with her. I bought her Christmas gifts to show that I care for her and she loved it but just as fast as she is in a somewhat good mood she takes a 180 and shuts down. I try to ask her what's wrong and she just assumes I will think less of her and she tries to push me away. When I saw her on Christmas Eve I tried to bring up light hearted stuff like what was a favorite moment as a kid for Christmas. Its like she doesn't like talking about the past and I know I cant force it out of her. Even as a friend its been challenging and affecting me emotionally to the point where I'm asking myself what am I doing wrong. Do I give her space and just let her reach out to me at this point? I don't want to ignore her and I still want to be her friend its just hard to when she shuts down and is not willing to talk. It hurts putting in so much energy and effort :( but I don't want to give up on her

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here! I would re-focus your energy on yourself and on people who truly value and appreciate you right now.

[@AL-su8pg]

Can you do a divided screen next time? So I can see both you and guest at the same time

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

This was from over three years ago and that wasn’t available back then for livestreams. My newer ones are all split screen - here’s an example: kzbin.info/www/bejne/e3fdm4OPqNKShs0

[@barbaradaniel7322]

Helena, I lost my husband after 35 loving happy years. I was devastated and stayed alone for 4 yrs. Finally, I met a man through a friend and was not interested at all. But I began to hang out like friends and he was so "helpful " in all kinds of ways. Eventually, I fell in love. He then bought me a ring. He wanted to get married in dec 2018 But as the month approached, he dropped it all but stayed dating the same as usual. I have to add he is 62 and has never been married. But after I fell in love, he stopped all signs of affection. He continues to show love in other ways like helping me with my farm and other chores. But I can pay someone to do those things. I want affection. Am I being bad for being critical of his lack of affection. He calls me a lot. He spends time with me. But zero affection. What should I do? I want to leave the relationship but I do love him so much.

[@janninegarwood9397]

I believe he is has an avoidant personality type. I am 53 and lost my amazing husband suddenly on 11/12/16. I am dating a man like this, my previous personality type was anxious proactive. I have earned my more stable type with Ian's help. I am hoping that my new man cares enough about me to learn a new language with me. He will be feeling bad about himself, mine does. We have both been feeling that the other has dumped them. We have been apart for 2 months and l believe when he gets back from his trip he is ready to restart again. I will explore this possibility slowly. Fingers crossed we both get what we want. Google this. A utube of Alain De Button in Australia might be interesting to you, for me he is on the nail and funny.

[@janninegarwood9397]

I got him back, with low contact and me initiating a meeting. Apart from 30th July to 1st November. We recently broke up again, he knows l want more like in the future l'd like him to be my husband and a grandfather to my grandchildren. Instead of discussing it l reminded him that it is a deal breaker. He started distancing. Told me that l would NEVER EVER meet his mother on New Years Eve. This left me much more vulnerable and not physical with him, his distancing caused me to be triggered and l brought on the break up not realising it was my doing. (yes l know it sounds strange). It happened just before the UK lock down, he decided to let me be free to find what l am looking for as he can not give me what l want. I tried keeping up with friendly communication, he stopped answering my calls and hasn't opened my last WhatsApp. It is now 12th April so l am approximately 18 days into no contact. Maybe the commitment issue will be too hard for him to overcome and he won't initiate. I am busy gardening, and baking and posting on Facebook. We've never been FB friends, but l like to think that he looks at mine. When this lock down is over l am going to have a few adventures on my motorbike and post up a storm!! I plan to have fun, maybe join a motorcycle group? I realise l am to blame a bit for this, l have left him a lovely LONG letter at his home. I believe he isn't home during the lock down. What will happen next?????

[@richamishra4733]

Hey Are you still with him? Did things change between you guys?

[@meredithboswell4003]

Bread crumbing is soooo rude

[@SF-pm1ov]

Thank you 🙏

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You're welcome!

[@victoriathompson2246]

His words and actions didn't match, he opened me up then ghosted. He was inconsistent so I only feel sadness at the loss. I let go of a very long time friend I trusted and loved, but I value me first.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Hi Victoria, this video should be helpful for you in continuing to move on: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aoSlqYh9h6d5nKs

[@victoriathompson2246]

@@islandlife7082 I'm sorry to hear that, It's not very nice but feel better, it was their problem and their loss!

[@islandlife7082]

@@victoriathompson2246 Thank you Victoria that is very kind of you to say especially when you have dealt with the same kind of pain. You are a very kind and empathetic person and you are absolutely correct... it is their loss in both our cases!!!

[@flea7510]

I just came across this video. What if he has someone else? You meet, connect, tried over and over to walk away, and he keeps coming for you, at you, and won't let go; and yet hasn't let go of the current situation? The closeness is there and powerful, but I won't allow us to become intimate until he makes a decision? Our lives match up totally, but.... I just this past weekend, pulled away after we had a weekend planned too be together?! I'm not ready to cross that line because I knew some abandonment issues were surfing. I can say hot and cold in some ways, but for us, he needs to make a clear cut. We worked together so it brought our closeness in a broader way. Plus we're great friends, and talk about everything. I had to cut myself off to get my head out the clouds and get me back into the picture and put me first. I know he knows I've walked again and I do miss him. So much is going on in my life that our friendship brings me comfort. I'm so confused?! She's much younger than him, and I'm much older than he. However, he loves older women, and thought he was over them until he met me? We both need some space from one another right now... 🤔🤔🤔 Thanks Ladies❤️

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I know this is difficult but I would take your energy OFF of him until he's 100% available and ready for the kind of relationship you want. If he's with someone else he can't possibly be the right man for you at the moment, in my opinion.

[@MW-ob8jm]

That’s the problem that I have... I just don’t feel that I’m worthy just because. I just don’t. It’s sad.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience here, I know many women can relate. These videos might be helpful for you: kzbin.info/www/bejne/hH_Ne3aDaqutZtU and kzbin.info/www/bejne/emrRonWlZ8mHesk.

[@sandyleo2]

Hey Helena - I love this video but I have a man that I know is wrong and he Gaslights me and I would love a video on this. He lies to me about where he works and lives and its been a year and a half I see him and hes always coming to me. When he knows Im backing off and curious he gaslights me on everything shows much more luv in texts and says i deserve better. Gaslighting is new to me but I do resinate with this video as I was raped as a child and many times and I think i probably feel i dont deserve good treatment. Not sure how to get out of this as he tells me Im amazing but hes always missing and never introduces me to his friends. We meet after even on xmas and new year its after what we do .

[@carolebitz3207]

All ok

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks Carol! 💜

[@efeyaachaa4870]

Men may not be emotionally available but not necessarily treating you bad in any way..

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your insights here!

[@reikicowgirl9817]

Where is the link to the How to Drop a Ghoster that was referenced in the video? I don’t see it in the description.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Here it is: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aoSlqYh9h6d5nKs

[@karakara2264]

Your all good girl

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks Kara! 💕

[@hienienguyen6766]

Wow i hope that i am able to g et through this after watching this video

[@marshawilson8213]

True

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks Marsha! 💜

[@marshawilson8213]

Ok