Here Are 3 Signs You Are Experiencing Transition Burnout!

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Such a important video. It can be all too easy to forget to stop and take a break and look after ourselves in this journey because it is so intense . It's not just managing waiting times, and our desires and needs, and dealing with dysphoria. It's also dealing with the reactions of friends and family which isn't always favourable, and even when it is, the dynamics still go through change. Then there is dealing with society, and the huge amount of negativity towards trans people in the media and online.All of these external factors combine with the internal factors to contribute towards burnout. I know there were so many times in my journey I felt burnout, in the beginning when l was discovering mysel and how I identified and it was so overwhelming. Then in the start of my transition when l was trying to access treatment and negotiate waiting lists and balance life alongside. Then through surgery, when so much is changing and so few people around understand. And through all this, there feels little option but to push on because the only place to find relief is in the future when transition is done, but then even when it is done, we still have to live in a world with so much transphobia, debating our identities, equating us with predators. Seeing that every day is hard to deal with and it's not surprising that so many of us trans folk are burnt out! I have ME now (myalgic Encepyomylitis/ chronic fatigue syndome), and although not caused by being trans, the years of stress and trauma have definitely played a part. We need more support, more awareness , more timely access to better healthcare, more accountability in social media so people can't hide behind accounts, and then we will have much more space to be able to just concentrate on looking after ourselves whilst we go through the massive upheaval of transition. I'm so glad therapists like you exist and and always so grateful for your words and the work you do 💜

[@DRZPHD]

HI my friend! Always stocked to see and hear from you! Love you! Amen to everything you say in here. Also accountability is huge and is lacking in all communities. Ppl need to also start taking responsibility for taking care of themselves. Huge hugs to you and I hope your health doesn't flare up on you too often.

[@PngPg]

Thank you for this timely topic! For me, transitioning also includes a change in the impact of misogyny in setting expectations and receiving support in achieving goals. While I was not perceived with exact equity to dominant culture prior to external transition, I now encounter a significantly heightened level disbelief, downplay, and invisibility in existence and legitimacy from both facets of trans and female identity. I sometimes feel I am accountable to confront this every moment. Even good, solid advice and reminders of safety precautions became another 'should' to add. I'm judged for even approaching a daytime walk to a nearby store for food. This constant 'on' mode is exhausting and remains a struggle in avoiding burn-out. incredibly grateful to have the privilege of resources such as your channel, a good therapist with practice in alignment, and our community. Thank you and the folks who share here for helping bring accessibility to these challenges and healing strategies!

[@DRZPHD]

I am so sorry to hear of your struggles. Please know you are not alone.

[@churchofthegreenflipflop2436]

I liked the black screen, it had the pattern of a rose or ice cream texture 😂.

[@DRZPHD]

Ahhhhh you two are big supporters of black screen. I love the texture of that black so much lol.

[@indiemissimi_]

These videos have helped me time and time again. Right now I do want to take a step back just for one month. Because I really do push myself hard to advocate for myself. Which is just very hard and straining.

[@kataka2654]

Just finished watching your 2020 video on denial and reality -- and then -- this one. Double bingo. I've stopped dressing femme, I've been depressed working on my voice, I am definitely struggling with my basic life commitments. Sigh. Definitely time to put down the gender worry beads for a few days and do some basic self-care. Thanks yet again.

[@DRZPHD]

Thans for sharing.

[@julimcbrayer5302]

This is all spot on... as usual Dr. Z. Being older and 7 years in, I have experienced all this.... after transition burnout for me is exhaustion and finally numbness. I have, as you indicated, tried to reset but very little is attainable. I am slowly focusing on the few elements which are possible but countered by reality. Nonetheless, rallying and moving forward is helped by support from those around you and focusing on the positive. I thank you for all you do. I too am glad the blackground 😂is gone. The comments about texture were good but black is dour and for some means negative things. But here's a question.... where did you buy the glasses... I would like some 🙂..... have a great weekend 💖💖

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you for sharing. I have two pairs one is by Tom Ford one is by Celine. In general brand doesn't matter as long as they are huge and black :)

[@NovemberGraye]

Hi Dr. Z. Thank you so much for all the work you do to help us. I'm just commenting to say this: Do you know those metal clothing racks, the ones with two vertical poles and one horizontal on top, and wheels under them? Well they make a perfect stand to put a nice cloth over, and use as a backdrop. You could buy a large piece of fabric from some sewing store. Hope this helps :) Your background doesn't bother me in any way but it shouldn't make you uncomfortable

[@jop5851]

Thanks Dr. Z, i keep watching hoping i'll find something that will prove that small voice inside is wrong, maybe it was presented in a past video that i haven't watched yet or will soon be released so fingers crossed. anyway i haven't gone back to read comments on your recent experiment with a black background so i'm probably just repeating what you've already heard from others. if the door is the biggest issue would changing the camera angle be a possibility? i'm guessing that you're sitting at your desk in front of a window and that is your main source of light, i would also consider turning off the room lights to subdue the background, again i don't know what the layout is in terms of amount of natural light vs artificial but it would be easy and quick feedback off whatever monitor you have on your video camera. if you want to go black or close to it and don't mind a little set up time i would think about picking up some black velvet since it does a pretty good job at absorbing light. the farther back you have it the more effective it will be but also you'll need more to cover the angle of the camera. you could just try picking up a couple of yards and try it out 2 problems with that is having to have something to hang the fabric from and you may need to play around with your settings on your camera since the the metering on auto settings tries to compensate more the overall scene and with all that black it will want to open up the iris just like the pupil of your eye. none of this really matters i learn from the content you provide the setting you provide it in isn't important. again thank you for your insights i may never find acceptance but at least i'm begining to understand some of the why's

[@DRZPHD]

Thank you so much for detailed observation. You are spot on, I am at my desk in front of a window and changing angels puts my body in awkward position. My goal is to keep it simple so that I am not distracted from crating content which to me is the most important thing.

[@jop5851]

absolutely agree, content is what i look for and appreciate from you, the office setting doesn't bother me at all, you mentioned you liked the idea of a black background so i threw my 2cents in which is probably more than it's worth lol, thank you again for everything you do to help people@@DRZPHD

[@BeccaBecca71]

Never notice your background DrZ I've watched your videos less than a few times mostly reading through the comments

[@Kira-zm7vy]

Dr Z. It's off topic but I was wondering if you could tell me your thoughts or perhaps do a video about the informed consent way of going through HRT. I have been seriously considering using a service such a Plume for hormones. I have never been to a therapist but I've been dealing with and repressing my dysporia for well over 30 years (I am 42 come February) and I know fully that I am transgender and the only way to become who I was meant to be is to let HER out and transition. I live in a small town in probably on of the worst states for lgbtq rights so I have no idea of what other way to make this happen. Thanks you so so much for all your content it is truly a help

[@Kira-zm7vy]

@@nicola3452 Yes. Wyoming is terrible. My greatest fear is losing my job. It pays good and it took me a long time to work into the position I'm in. Have you or anyone you've known tried one of the informed consent services online? I can't help but feel like I've waited too long and its too late for me so the time is now.

[@DRZPHD]

Hi Kira. Basically informed consent is you, after hearing all the risk and benefits of HRT, consent to understanding what it may and may not do and consent to HRT treatment. If you go to Plume or Folx Health (another online great clinic) and if they offer to Wyoming residents, than they will most likely talk to you, get a sense of your dysphoria, and will have you sign informed consent form. After that you should have prescription for hormones. Hope this clarifies. You can also contact or call them prior to ask directly how they practice informed consent model.

[@Kira-zm7vy]

Yes. Very helpful. Almost feels like cheating tho because I've always heard people have to go through all of this therapy to get diagnosed and start HRT. I don't feel like I need a therapist to confirm (or deny) what I know and always have known about myself. Thanks again Dr.Z! If we had more allies like you then maybe transitioning would be seem so impossible

[@Kira-zm7vy]

@@nicola3452 Thanks for the info. I've been going back and forth in my head about the Plume idea. And I need to remind myself that jobs can come and go like the wind but I have to live with myself forever

[@S.Aurilia]

I find two 20 percent that I can think of, to change my before bed habits, take a shower when I don't have time to lay in the bath and not apply skincare, not shave. The next day, allowing myself to replace those care by setting up one action to have the desired impact to make me feel healthy and soft. It is allowing me time and I focus on my daily 80 percent. For instance, if by looking at my overall progress, it is at least 20 percent by just doing it, I'll plan ahead a simple action and remove all the unnecessary. That way, I avoid any hidden agenda.

[@DRZPHD]

Thats sounds like a good plan.

[@aer2195]

It seems to me that transition follows à kind of wave: sometimes you are up, sometimes you are down. When I'm down, I tend to give up and misgender myself on purpose in front of people. The feeling is awful. I think I can rest doing this, but it never works.

[@DRZPHD]

Thanks for sharing.

[@carlbenj1668]

Ive just found out I can get some help from the VA, my burn out is ill get to a point I say I am sick to dress and have these feels so I will throw everything away then in time I buy it all over again also I am 65 and I tell myself iam too old

[@Renacd122]

Ahh Ahh Ahh

[@KM-cb8ff]

Lol .. I didn't know you felt so strongly about the door. I didn't (and I'm not sure anyone else did!) think it was an issue. But now.. it's all in can think about. Where does it go? Is there someone behind it? Where did it come from?!

[@DRZPHD]

Ohhh nooooo lol hahah

[@IAmNumber4000]

That’s my secret. I’m always burned out 😏

[@DRZPHD]

Ohhhh ohhh