High-Functioning Borderline Personality Disorder

To take advantage of the DeMars Coaching service, please visit www.daviddemars.com/
Friday, August 26, 2022 8/26/22
Stop Narcissistic Online Bullying Petition:
change.org/stopbullies
If you believe you have been a victim of emotional abuse, please seek professional help.
Suicide Prevention (US) 1 800 273 8255
Domestic Violence help (US) 1 800 799 7233
www.endingviolencecanada.org/
Suicide Prevention (CAN) 1 833 456 4566
Womens Aid (UK) 0808 2000 247
Domestic Violence help (AUS) 1 800 RESPECT (737 732)
Thank you for watching and please vote for this video with a thumbs up or down. Please share this video with someone else and on social media, forums, groups, and try placing it in a playlist. Please subscribe if you would like to see more and thank you for supporting myself and this channel.
#narcissist #borderline #npd #bpd #ptsd #cptsd #healing #narcabuse #personalitydisorder #psychopathy #empath #controlling #narcissisticabusesurvivor

[@barb7124]

I was misdiagnosed BPD when I really had CPTSD. I was married to a man diagnosed with ASPD and was abused but I didnt know what gaslighting was so I was very, very raw and reactive. But I never had black and white thinking and I knew who I was. I think BPD is too easily handed out to women who are under extreme mental distress. I also had a narcissistic mother growing up. With therapy I no longer self-harm and I can function rather well. Im also clean and sober for two years now.

[@rorywright5692]

Hi Barb! Congratulations on your sobriety! Thank you so much for sharing!😎

[@daviddemars]

Hi Barb, I appreciate you sharing this about your life, thank you. Many people suffering with C-PTSD have been misdiagnosed with BPD. Good for you to better yourself.

[@cancandoit]

They're almost the same disorder but BPD has a stigma that CTPSD doesn't.

[@Banana42699]

I’ve been diagnosed with bpd. I’d say I’m pretty high functioning. Pay my bills on time, save money, work 40 hours a week sometimes more. Been in a relationship for about a year now. I’m pretty average actually. I’ve seen that focusing on my bpd more and more didn’t help me. I kinda just sway away from the bpd groups too because it’s just a bunch of people complaining and being toxic. I’m still pretty emotionally reactive especially when I feel other people are angry at me. And there’s days I’m not sure who I am or the things that I like. But eventually I pull myself back in and I’m reminded of reality. Still feel bad for the people that struggle with this disorder but I feel like it can be managed.

[@IvaSvlr]

I was recently diagnosed with this, and ive managed pretty far without the diagnoses as well. Im married for 8 years, i have 4 kids, i feel emotionally attached to all of them and im there for all the pains and the moments, I do have to say that i have an amazing friendgroup, now ive been in therapy for 3 years (because deppression) but nothing harmfull happened. I started internally feeling the need to hurt myself and my self image was terrible. So i knew something was up and i didnt want it to get worse because its been worse before i had my relationship. Im going to continue my therapy for sure, but i dont see where im being hurtfull towards my kids.

[@maj1636]

Please if you learn from this video, leave a thumbs up and a comment. These are huge efforts made to help us learn about these personalities . Very few channels talk as precisely as does this channel about the borderlines' abuse . Please it is very important for the content creator. We need this kind of content in KZbin.

[@daviddemars]

I really appreciate you, thank you Maj.

[@doctordrabs]

love the pool

[@doctordrabs]

thank you David 😊

[@daviddemars]

Thank you!

[@bobb2683]

Hi Dave, Bob from Belle Vernon Pa. It’s been months since I told the border line ex girlfriend to leave. Since then, it’s been no contact, gave myself time to heal, and never again will ignore the red flags as I once did before. In fact, self respect, self love, and boundaries are turn offs to toxic people. In addition, your weekly videos and play lists are an asset for anybody going through a breakup, or the healing process afterwards. I do have an idea for a video. How about a video on how vindictive a cluster b person can be after a breakup? This can include hoovering, false protection orders, and playing the professional victim afterwards. Thankfully, I was one of the lucky ones who saw the mental monsoon coming my way, took cover, and nipped it in the bud before losing my reputation, sanity, and the court chaos that could have happened, but didn’t. Again, keep up the good work, and I look forward to your future vids.

[@rorywright5692]

Hi Bob! I’m from Ohio plus I have relatives in Pa! So glad I didn’t have to deal with any courts on this matter, no restraining orders. You’re suggestion about a vindictive video interests me very much! In my experience, anything he would deem as a mistake on my part would be reason enough to get back at me by going deeper into his addiction. Before the time of cell phone availability, we had an argument before he left for work. The next day he said I yelled at him all that day! I said , you were at work all day, so how could I of yelled at you all day! In his mind, he twisted it so he could go do whatever he wanted cuz I had somehow hurt him. There were so many times like that, they occasionally pop up in my mind! I also have to look at myself, and think, no, I’m sure that I was vindictive back! I don’t like that about myself. Sometimes acting like he wasn’t there, withholding affection, not talking much to him like couples do. This all might be reactionary to abuse, but it doesn’t make it right. Thank you for your question! It really got me thinking! 😎

[@daviddemars]

Hi Bob, thank you very much! Most importantly, you are learning about yourselves. As far as vindictive, I've experienced and heard horror stories. I have many videos about this and will continue to make more. Thanks Bob! - David

[@tangletwister583]

Great video David, thanks 👍

[@daviddemars]

Thank you very much!

[@jennifercremisino5287]

I always learn a lot from you, David. Thank you.

[@daviddemars]

Thank you very much for telling me Jennifer.

[@sgtmuffinbadger6147]

I would say she had high functioning. She would admit her wrong doings and would giggle when she reflected back on her atrocious acts. She was completely self aware of her acts and didn't care who she hurt in the process. Disgusting

[@rorywright5692]

Hi, SGT! I don’t know what he was, but acted like an a..!! He didn’t care about hurting me, just cared about what he was into! Great comment!!😎

[@sgtmuffinbadger6147]

@@rorywright5692 I know the feeling. These creatures are just users and abusers. Then when we put our foot down they run and cheat like cowards

[@rorywright5692]

@@sgtmuffinbadger6147 His behaviors just escalated if I said anything! One of those damned if you do, damned if you don’t!😎

[@sgtmuffinbadger6147]

@@rorywright5692 lol I used that same saying with her. She would just walk off

[@daviddemars]

No regret, no compassion. A very dangerous person.

[@rorywright5692]

Ohio here! Great view, David!!😎

[@daviddemars]

Thank you Rory!

[@stephenchute4276]

Great info as always.. thanks...you helped me tremendously when we talked a few years ago...I like to get an occasional tune up with your vids.. borderlines and narcs are like gum stuck to the bottom of your shoe. Takes a while to scrape them completely off.

[@daviddemars]

Good to see you Stephen, thanks for commenting. Great analogy! lol

[@tHatsHot243]

So glad I found your channel! My best friend is BPD and your videos are really helpful!

[@shereeconnolly2457]

Great video David! Thank you

[@daviddemars]

Thank you very much Sheree!

[@purpleflame7705]

Thanks David from a high functioning borderline

[@daviddemars]

Thank you!!

[@rorywright5692]

Thanks for the video, David! Such a complex disorder! Guess that’s why we should never self diagnose. Have an awesome day!😎

[@victoriamuniz9851]

Hello it's always nice to see you on the chat line 🙏

[@daviddemars]

Hi Rory! Never self diagnose but you can compliment yourself!

[@rorywright5692]

@@daviddemars Always can do things to improve yourself and situation! Plus I can compliment you on a very good video!!😎

[@daviddemars]

​@@rorywright5692 That is a very true and wise statement and thank you for the compliment!

[@rorywright5692]

@@daviddemars You’re welcome, David!! Hope your evening is fantastic!!😎

[@alilih3652]

Anger, rage, emotional disregularion and impulsivity are parts of all bpd even high functioning bpd, we just are better at masking so u don’t think we feel those emotions or are on a rollercoaster and our impulses would just be dofferent. We still have all that but we’re just better at masking it so that the ppl around us won’t leave

[@vishalbhurke5187]

My best friend is suffering from high function bpd. For rest of the world he is a perfect person. But for those who know him closely ots same roller coaster ride. Extreme happiness, make you feel top of the world at somepoint and followed by extreme rage. Extremely small argument triggers him and he goes into punishment mode. Months of silent treatment, giving cold shoulder, no empathy at all. He knows so many ways to make me feel bad even without saying a word. It could be damaging expensive things intentionally and pretending as if it just happened or putting 10 times salt in my food when i used to visit his place and pretending it just happened by mistake. Ignoring me completely when i needed emotional support on my parents hospitalization. He had 1000s of tricks to punish me and make me feel bad. Its going on for almost 12 years and finally i have decided to leave.

[@BadMutha]

Thankyou David,your work is extremely necessary. And frankly there are other vidios on BPD but your delivery ans style is extremely important the occasional F-Bombs and to the point verbage is help in the very matter of fact to the point that is critical to driving the point about BPD people an the covert dammage they do. Some people like my sometimes need it drivin home because i have lived a rough life an some days weeks or years can be high stress and sometimes u can get used to the war an forget u were in it till u finally got out of it. Please dont let the social designers and the people that would cut your channel down stop your gracious work.

[@daviddemars]

Wow Bradley, thank you very much. I appreciate your feedback and support.

[@boxonothing4087]

For most sufferers, their BPD will be written off as having a terrible temper/personality. One trait I never manifested is impulsive behavior, I display a variant of it in the form of lack of measure in everything I do. It has to be all or nothing. If it's not perfect, it's crap. It helped me enormously in work. Unfortunately, achieving a lot never made me happy, because I can't be happy, I don't know how, or why. I'm probably also a strong contender for a medal at Dissociator's Olympics. At my worst I would get stuck in front of my mirror while shaving because I didn't know who was looking at me.

[@jayc342009]

The clear sign my ex has BPD is all her relationships start amazing and everything is perfect and then eventually they stop, then she is finding her next fling.

[@paperboi514]

More videos on this fascinating topic pls !

[@daviddemars]

Absolutely and thank you!

[@markusmeyer6391]

I'm so angry with my parents for having damaged me so deeply. Mother schizophrenic, father sociopathic. They are a terrible couple to be around.

[@compulsiverambler1352]

Being angry with someone for being schizophrenic, someone also unlucky enough to marry a sociopath, is the most selfish unempathetic thing you could be, souns like you inherite the sociopathy should not be judging the father either. Anyone who would be angry with someone for having a seriously quality of life impairing and seriously life expectancy reducing medical neurodegenerative disease on a par and similar in many biological and symptom ways to dementia, has very selective empathy themselves.

[@compulsiverambler1352]

If you get dementia you will know what your mother went through, it is extremely similar, the brain degenerates very young instead of when you are elderly and getting ridiculous special treatment for being old ust because it started after everyone knew you as an adult before it started. Dementia patients get treated so much better when they act exactly same as those with schizophrenia and have similar process in brain. Because those with a schizophrenia are not lucky enough to be seen by the scientifically ignorant public someone with a brain that is degenerating and not their fault, just cos it starts before ppl get to see them functioning as an adult with a healthy brain.

[@markusmeyer6391]

@@compulsiverambler1352 you Don't sound to be empathetic either. Attacking me for being angry (a natural human emotion) ... Very empathetic of you.

[@markusmeyer6391]

@@compulsiverambler1352 i hope you got your dose of righteousness for today.

[@brendaturner346]

Glad to see you are still w us!!

[@daviddemars]

Hi Brenda, good to see you too, thank you!

[@emilytaylor1001]

❤️❤️❤️

[@rorywright5692]

There you are, Emily! Always great to see you! ❤️😎

[@emilytaylor1001]

@@rorywright5692 thank you Rory!!! Same here 😊🤗 I hope you and your loved ones are well ❤️have a lovely weekend!!!☀️🤗

[@rorywright5692]

@@emilytaylor1001 You too, Emily!❤️😎

[@daviddemars]

Hello Emily!

[@Pinkdiamond12]

Great topic. I think their are a lot of high functioning borderlines.

[@rorywright5692]

Hi Pink! Nice to see you!😎

[@daviddemars]

Society is made of people that all have problems and most are high-functioning.

[@daryl9905]

Choose your variety of f*cked up, essentially 😅​@@daviddemars

[@Willa4420]

I really LOVE the background!!! Very refreshing 🌷Great video David

[@rorywright5692]

Hello, Willa! I love the background too! Nice you’re here! ❤️😎

[@Willa4420]

@@rorywright5692 You and me BOTH will always watch David Demars videos 🌷

[@daviddemars]

There you are! Hi Willa!

[@kynathomas4809]

Great information as always. ❤️

[@daviddemars]

Thank you Kyna!

[@greengarden3]

I was in a relationship for 2.5 years with an undiagnosed pw high performing BPD. Although the red flags were there from the first date (thin skin, black and white thinking manifesting as holding grudges) other symptoms were not clear to me (though he clearly had external locus on control). It wasn’t until the so-called abandonment moment that almost all the other traits exploded over a few weeks especially when drunk/high. And yes he clearly hid some moments previously by going alone into a room

[@emilemerten6535]

Hi David Thank you for the video

[@daviddemars]

Thank you Emile!

[@caireengraham]

Great video, loving the new background wow 🤩

[@daviddemars]

Hi Caireen, thank you!

[@bradywebb3430]

BPD what is the major (but not only problem) problem? A distorted and negative self image, typically fuelled by childhood trauma/abuse, that cannot be "shaken off" by will power alone. In a situation where a BPD individual is specifically talented/gifted in a specific area, their negative/distorted self image is not triggered anywhere to the level by way of comparison to other areas of their life by criticism/rejection etc whether it be real or imagined hence can effectively function in their gifted/talented domain

[@daviddemars]

Good objective analysis. BPD, like many disorders, is very complicated and has a very specific diagnostic criteria. There is no easy explanation and I believe understanding requires high levels of human compassion and empathy which many Scientists and "experts" may be lacking.

[@kelvinpanayiotou8679]

🙏🙏🙏

[@jayde1111]

“The pockets “ are they brought on by triggers such as stress. ? I have noticed a family member can go a full year then have something come up and the traits of numbness , shutdown show up ? Great content 👍

[@deedeedee8735]

Isn't that kind of bpd semi overlapping with narc traits? Another diagnosis but similar traits. Anyways it is horrible nevertheless.

[@daviddemars]

Absolutely Dee Deedee! Most personality disorders are diagnosed with another similar personality disorder. Once you cross the line of PD's, you will have multiple traits of all 10 disorders.

[@deedeedee8735]

@@daviddemars aha that explains a lot , thanks for the good info again !

[@deejamieson]

I compare HF-BPD to an inner vortex/tornado

[@katarina777]

Hello, I am here... High functioning BPD

[@victoriamuniz9851]

Victoria from the Bay area Hi David I've been watching your old videos as part of my therapy I've been giving each video thumbs up I'm not sure if it matter old videos old videos Do you still get credit for them????

[@rorywright5692]

Hi, Victoria! His old videos so helpful, too!! Nice you’re here!!❤️😎

[@daviddemars]

All activity on this channel is very appreciated and helps the growth. Thank you very much Victoria!

[@emilemerten6535]

Hi David Can you please make a video about autism, what are the symptoms.

[@daviddemars]

Hi Emile, I might but I'm not sure about a separate topic like that. I will think about though and thank you and you can always ask me anything Emile.

[@emilemerten6535]

Thank you David

[@emilemerten6535]

@DeMars Coaching Thank you David. Maybe just the basics of Autism and how it’s caused at the start of a video.

[@ilovesamyo]

@@daviddemars people on the autism spectrum are often misdiagnosed as NPD or BPD especially if they have ADHD comorbid. It’s very sad. Someone very close to me I thought exhibited a ton of NPD traits when she really had ASPERGERS/ADHD combo. Yikes. I feel pretty bad because the symptoms look so similar

[@BeccaL2016]

I start thinking I could be one. I have been struggling having a stabilized relationship for a while. The last 4.5 years relationships ended in 2020. For some reason my “splitting “ was better with that ex because he didn’t give me too much of reasons, like I never met any of his friends, he is very introverted so that made me had no reasons to be jealousy but in most of the intimacy relationships I had been super jealousy and got mad break up then regret, I never know why until now I think I may have BPD… but y have no self harm, and I am fine with friends and at work, just the personal intimate relationship is my troublesome 😢

[@travelingman9]

Thanks David. I wonder which of these show signs of narcissism from their behavior.

[@rorywright5692]

Hi Traveling Man!! Nice to see you! 😎❤️

[@travelingman9]

@@rorywright5692 hey Rory!!

[@travelingman9]

@@rorywright5692 same here Rory!! Hope you enjoy your weekend! Same goes to all our friends in the comments! You too david, if you see this enjoy the weekend! Cheers!!

[@rorywright5692]

@@travelingman9 Cheers to you, Traveling Man! And to all our friends on here!!😎❤️

[@daviddemars]

All mental illness is narcissistic. Depression is narcissistic.

[@Plant-Mama]

Best to stay away from professional's they cant help, who wants a label that follows you for the rest of your life..

[@boxonothing4087]

What's written on that label is with you all your life, regardless of you wearing it or not. Blinding yourself isn't going to get you anywhere.

[@Plant-Mama]

@@boxonothing4087 im not blinding myself, IM WELL AWARE OF ME.. im well aware what could happen with a label also. No damn need for one darling. You are not labeled as a trustworthly person with a label like this are you. I dont have bpd anyway, i refuse to be among the sheep..💋💋im not suspected based on my past, Judge the rest!

[@harrismario9113]

David, my ex BPD i thought was as a loud BPD due to extreme emotional instabilit, self harm and attempt Suicides, After cheating me she boke up with me 4 years back, recently she hoovered me in social media, i fell for it, immediate discard 3 times straight. Am in no contact n has moved on. She is talking so politely and we'll mannered and connected with everyone else. Is she a high Functioning BPD or Loud?

[@daviddemars]

High functioning typically is not overt about their problems.

[@daviddemars]

Thank you Harris, typically, high functioning borderlines are not overt about their problems, how they feel, etc.

[@ratsrule6110]

Do borderlines snoop through their friends, families and anyone else things? I have a friend who I suspect would fall into the high functioning category, and she snoops on pretty much anyone and I have caught her going through my things unfortunately

[@daviddemars]

Anyone can be prone to not respect people, their time, their space, and belongings. People with personality disorders are not aware of themselves or control their behaviors very well. They do not have boundaries or respect others boundaries.

[@NANCY-tv6yt]

Hi David. My daughter once said "Mom. I don't think I have feelings". Brought her to a therapist but she quit right away. I tried to talk it out with her but it was just that statement and she would not talk about it. What are your thoughts please?

[@daviddemars]

I'm so sorry Nancy, I am always saddened to see a Mother/Daughter relationship be estranged like this. Will you please be more specific when you ask what my thoughts are? Thank you Nancy, I always have lots to say, thats why I ask for you to be more specific.

[@NANCY-tv6yt]

Asking for your thoughts after you mentioned it in the high functioning bipolar video. Thanks David. Have a great Saturday. ☀️

[@NANCY-tv6yt]

@@daviddemars Hope this is more clear. Sorry, it was vague. If someone says they don't have any feelings I don't understand that. Guess I'm looking for a label or diagnosis but there isn't enough info for that. I think it's a very strange thing to say. WBU?

[@baldersn4474]

How mamy high functioning borderlines are wromgly diagnosed as NPD ?

[@boxonothing4087]

I'd wager a bunch. Yet, have you ever had a narcissist apologize for anything they did ? Or warn you about getting yourself in harm's way by interacting with them ?

[@ohara8845]

Stop talking badly about borderline , borderline is just like children don't treat them like adult if you want them to heal treat them like a child and they will be fine.

[@boxonothing4087]

That's such an oversimplification it's almost insulting. Someone will BPD will suspect you of faking it when you're nice to them. You don't heal BPD, parts of your personality never developed, just like a lost limb doesn't grow back. All we can do is learn how to deal with it and limit fallout. Don't spread hopes about a "cure", there's none, only hard work and a lot of frustration