His dad asked what "anime" was...

[@jakeswierdfriend7204]

“I had just finished playing persona 5” last words of men only seconds away from disaster

[@jaydenyoo4309]

The zoom in was a flag redder than the red sea

[@GenericAcc]

Hearing stories like these makes me so grateful that I didn't play p5 until I was 20. I know my young ass would've done some life scarring antics.

[@apuppetandacookie8200]

​@@GenericAcc you dodged such a gigantic bullet, I'm envious that I wasn't as lucky as you

[@tomfoolery2885]

@@apuppetandacookie8200 same. I submitted my own story surrounding p5 myself

[@Champiness]

Do roleplayers on Twitter still “steal the hearts” of canceled celebrities or has that tide ebbed

[@WhyYouWahYoo]

The added detail of the guy’s mom sobbing because she thinks he watched SpongeBob porn is hilarious

[@Creepo_J]

I laughed at the father part

[@mrcool9090]

I didn’t know how it could make that situation more embarrassing but

[@LinktotheFuture-zs9km]

The editor cut out the part where CONEY personally exposed every chatters identity after each story.

[@jrushing8760]

common strolling stu W

[@LinktotheFuture-zs9km]

@@jrushing8760 holy shit, my brother

[@GDRunny]

Wow I thought you just forgot to switch alts for a moment

[@Birdpillbird]

Holy shit strolling stu

[@TenseDoodles]

Joining the stream at the exact moment “SpongeBob Porn” was said was INSANE whiplash

[@Armydillo62o]

I love Cringe Confessional, every time I lose my breath laughing, but I think this is the first time I’ve actually gotten tears in my eyes. Please never stop doing this series. It’s the perfect content.

[@ajiffy_]

As the submitter of the Ryan and Macy story (also the submitter of the EpiPen story a couple CC’s ago lol), this story is also completely true, but I want to provide a LOT more context behind this nightmare of a story like I did for the EpiPen story. For the first option, I didn’t call 911 because a similar emergency happened about a year prior, and the manager fired the instructor who called 911 since the situation was resolved before EMS arrived. For the second option, I wanted to have my manager call EMS, but she was talking to a parent at an elementary school 3ish miles away, and I did not have a car or my manager’s phone number. For the third option, about a month prior one of the instructors was nearly fired because they gave a kid a high five, and the parent of the kid called our workplace and threatened to sue us for not asking for their child’s consent before high-fiving them. (It’s incredibly dumb, I know, but I didn’t want to take any chances considering Ryan could tell his parents about this situation and then all of a sudden I am a defendant in the dumbest lawsuit imaginable because I performed the Heimlich on him.) I repeatedly asked Ryan if I could perform the Heimlich on him, but he kept defiantly nodding/saying "no,” so I gave up and had Macy perform the Heimlich on him to no avail. I will admit the water fountain thing was dumb on my part, but I was panicking and was running out of options. We only had one bathroom in our building, so you can imagine my horror when they first opened the seemingly empty bathroom and a third grader was inside. Witnessing Macy attempting to “help” Ryan spit out the gum was one of the more harrowing things I have ever seen in my life, but I cannot fully articulate how relieved I felt when he spit it out. The craziest thing about this story to me was that there were like 10 other kids in the building who saw this all go down, but all of them were either oblivious or disinterested since no one mentioned anything about this to me or my manager. For those wondering if I got fired, this story occurred in January 2020. With the world shutting down 2 months later, my job got moved from in person to online, and I quit the first week after the transition.

[@dooper264]

what the fuckkkk 😭

[@AxolotlDreams-u-]

Ignoring the ridiculousness of threatening a lawsuit about a high-five, how the fuck do you perform a non-consensual high five?

[@Champiness]

The visual of a 5th grader choking to death while aggressively refusing medical attention is absolutely demented

[@Ijustusethistocommentstuff]

Okay, so, uh...WHAT THE FUCK? Are you sure Ryan didn't, like, get a vision of a car crash before that incident, and narrowly avoided it? Because that's near-Final Destination levels of coincidences leading up to a whirlwind of pain.

[@katlicks]

Wherever you worked sounds like an absolutely massive lawsuit

[@goggles8691]

I had a physical, full body reaction to hearing "I just finished Persona 5" Unrelated question: Coney, have you lifted the embargo on bullying yet?

[@TAZERAT]

Coney wiping his eyes through his glasses will never get old lol

[@DingusButDead]

On behalf of all persona fans: Don't worry. You can't hate us more than we already hate both ourselves and each other.

[@fizbears]

i was the submitter of the gamer word story. i had honestly lost hope that it would be included because i think i submitted it over a year ago. im just chilling in the bath and heard it start reading out and realized oh that’s ME! so yea if your kid shouldn’t be saying something it’s probably best to just tell them lol. hope gabe is doing well

[@bonkabonk]

GABE IS TWO COMMENTS ABOVE YOU

[@bonkabonk]

GABRIELITOVALIDEREZ

[@jacksonbrown1830]

Couple of things related to the choking story Whenever someone is at risk of dying, SOMEONE NEEDS TO CALL 911. Paramedics are much more highly trained, and will take them to a doctor who is even more highly trained. There is no guarantee that you can help them enough to save their life, you need to call 911 as soon as possible. This is complicated and not legal advice. If a child is in a life threatening emergency, and no legal guardian is around to give consent, you can act with implied consent. Essentially, the implication is that their guardian would want you to help them. You can still only work within your scope of practice, which is only doing protocols that you are officially certified in. If someone is unconscious and in a life threatening emergency, you can act on implied consent. If they were conscious, they might appreciate life saving care. Edit: Source: I was a lifeguard for 7 years for a government agency. We had to know this stuff, and it's part of your training

[@unovarydrake]

Second lifeguard here to corroborate, Implied Consent is a real thing in life threatening situations where the victim is unable to give consent to being saved. If someone is in a life threatening situation and cannot confirm if they want to be saved or not, it's better to assume that they do than that they don't

[@jacksonbrown1830]

@@unovarydrake What kind of lifeguard? just curious. Pool? Waterpark? beach?

[@agentclank8183]

@@unovarydrake I can’t imagine anyone who wouldn’t want to be saved, besides that one guy from the Incredibles. “You didn’t save my life! You ruined my death!”

[@nahuel3433]

Story submitter is in the comments here. Apparently they were concerned about calling 911 because another instructor got fired for doing that when the emergency got resolved before EMS got there (which should be illegal if it isn't)

[@unovarydrake]

@@jacksonbrown1830 pool lifeguard at a local YMCA

[@wiiuandmii7619]

For some reason the “and then nothing happened” stories are always the worst. There aren’t even consequences that would justify this cursed series of events taking place, those chatters got off scot free and have to LIVE WITH IT.

[@Mikon595]

The WWII story made me lean back in my chair in an attempt to escape It did not work

[@cmattss4]

15:00 Coney rubbing his eye through the fake glasses made me burst out laughing. There's nothing like a visual gag 15 minutes into a video.

[@BF_Kanon]

Hope life is good, thanks for the decade plus of entertainment

[@epicfunnygexfan3582]

Yeah Rest in Peace Coney. You will be missed.

[@JoeStinker-ip9mr]

Wait how old is he 200?

[@Cye_Pie]

RIP

[@dingerfish5780]

rest in peace conerson he died old and sad

[@mjdevlog]

Matpat retirement ahh comment

[@LiilYogurt]

15:03 wow coney, way to out yourself. The glasses community WILL be hearing about this at our next monthly meeting

[@miacasual1263]

Ok, ok. To be fair, some of the later stories are just adults really failing the kids they’re supposed to look out for. Yes you should teach your child that the gamer word is bad. No you should *not* turn a child into a racist caricature what the fuck even was that

[@ellie8272]

Absolutely. Luckily in the age of the internet I think we'll get way fewer examples of people not knowing how things work or being in tiny gated racist communities

[@Ridlay_]

The guy at the end unintentionally getting the pass because he was so chill about it is peak cinema, that is hilarious.

[@sheipi9978]

2:58 at the start of persona 5 they say "this story is a work of fiction, similarities between characters or events to persons living or dead in your world are purely coincidental, only those who have agreed to the above have the privilege of partaking in this game" and if you don't hit "agree" they kick you out this chatter clearly lied to igor

[@coreywhitaker883]

Maybe the choking kid was gasping for air indicating he wasn’t exactly choking choking. Theres a difference when you can hear the gasp for air it means they’re getting some breathe just not adequate which does buy you more time. Choking silently and turning purple is the real bad stuff that you don’t get much time to react to.

[@Xanek]

Some unhinged stories this time around Poor son getting lambasted by his father for watching "anime" and thinking it was spongebob nsfw And the guy in the bathroom stall getting complimented on his shoes while the guy jerks it

[@boot-4704]

I really thought the stall story was gonna end with the jerker shooting rope onto his shoes

[@moonbound6478]

​@@boot-4704same here. Once the price was mentioned i thought for sure the shoes were gonna get ruined

[@jammo7370]

All i’m learning from these is I made the right call switching friend groups entirely between middle and high school, all my peak cringe days can remain a shitty memory that no one can bring up

[@matthewbartlett3442]

unless you write in...

[@HaganConnell]

Counterpoint: you should totally write in.

[@bombyman84]

the juxtaposition from 0:30-0:38

[@agentclank8183]

The only thing saving fap boy is the word Waifu. If I was a girl and that word was missing this sounds like some potential stalker shit. As compared to just some creepy dude with weird interests.

[@matthewbartlett3442]

maybe it's not the absolute worst it could have been doesn't mean it's SAVED he's still cooked lmao

[@eugenekrabs141]

"Saved"? If anything that made it much much worse.

[@agentclank8183]

For sure he's cooked, there was no saving that in any way. I'm just saying there's a difference between irredeemable cringe and a possible criminal offense.

[@nerdwarp112]

That “hit list” story reminded me of something vaguely similar back when I was in middle school. There was a kid who had a list of classmates, but it was ranking the girls from most to least attractive. I think he also had a couple guys who asked to be added to the list. I’m pretty sure he had a disability of some sort but everyone thought he was funny so they kind of encouraged his weird behavior.

[@lucinamain6861]

someone needs to make a coming of age anthology compiling the greatest stories from cringe confessional

[@golli1146]

I forgot I submitted my spongebob hentai story and played this video on my commute to work this morning and got to relive that whole experience all over again. TY Coney❤

[@fizbears]

it was so peak thank you

[@loginsloth]

I'm so excited to watch this dude, my identity stolen and bank account drained almost 2 weeks ago with absolutely no help from my bank getting anything recovered but cringe confessional will still make me feel like a winner lol

[@JerichoTheCity]

I think Coney is the best Cringe Confessional™ host of all time

[@cordellriemer5177]

Those stories are just... Wow 😨

[@gabrielitovaladares]

Wait I think I might be the mixed race kid in that n-word story. I remember being called it quite a lot by both pocs and white people. I definitely would’ve had this same reaction. Shit is just funny.

[@WizardyDylan]

GABE!?

[@hyperventalated]

Coney got the Dan Gheesling fit on today

[@DarkestNova556]

18:22 Do you have any idea how bad this would look in modern day. Your 5 year old child is missing, the cops return them naked, wet, and with candy. Dear God.

[@PsiYoshi]

This might be the best episode of cringe confessional yet

[@ValueNetwork]

Imagine being that guy fishing at the local pond when some random nobody walks up to you, says “I can fish let me have a go”, takes the Rod out of your hand, chucks the line wildly into a tree, refuses to elaborate and leaves.

[@Mus1cManGaming]

20:47 wait I didn’t realize coney wears fake glasses

[@vinsterthegreat840]

Bro, I froze when the Chris Jericho list story came on because I used to do that, however I know the story wasn't about me since I only did it for one school year and my teachers had no problem with it.

[@deathcatthor]

This feels like watching the situations through a glass cage, just banging on the glass helplessly.

[@pipopawebghost8095]

The worst part is that Waifu he mentioned has severe trauma cause the government killed everyone in her family and is still trynna kill her

[@MelDSnow]

I haven't cringed harder than at this confessional

[@moonbeam2730]

watched this just so youtube would stop recommending me it but i forgot how good these stories were

[@daveycakes8060]

The perfect lunch break video

[@BZZC4S]

The kid at the end single handily ended racism

[@thecalabian]

This was BY FAR the best confessional so far🤣🤣🤣

[@spennyspectacular353]

Nothing like a good cringe confessional to make me feel mildly better about my own cringy life. Thanks Coney and chat!

[@MapleLunii]

On the topic of getting scared by games as a kid, the scene in Banjo Kazooie where you quit the game scared the shit out of me 😭I was at my cousin's house in a dark room by myself and my mom called me since we were going home so I turned the game off, I have never rushed downstairs faster in my life

[@YourLocalNobody420]

Cringe confessional is genuinely one of my favorite series on KZbin

[@gamerfreakinfoXD]

The 2 5th grader story is hilarious after you remember these are two kids and a teen performing what might as well be a family guy scenario

[@ek6352]

This was so funny. While watching I constantly kept being reminded again and again of all the cringe stuff ive done worthy of being in this video.

[@jekufo]

I'm in tears this is the peak of content

[@achichug]

I'm kinda surprised that the form isn't linked in the video description

[@bemoreduck]

Quite probably the best cringe confessional so far - non-stop heaters

[@lukemagnotta7338]

My favorite part of the stream was when he called TK to finish the last story

[@huntsworthdoom]

This saved my day

[@shoeshiner9314]

"Nice shoes" LMAOOOO

[@superjumpbros64]

I love this series. Makes me feel better about myself sometimes.... or just is funny

[@mrcsee6936]

I’ve prayed for days like these

[@michaelwashboard2323]

24:54 Not gonna lie, I thought þe gamer-word þey were referring to here was þe F-slur / abbreviated slur because Tamers12345 uses þe same synthesized voice for Bartleby (a gay character in his fiction) until Coney said "it was soft a", so þat's just me being dumb. And no, I didn't know about Jackie Robinson.

[@breloopharos1919]

This one was a banger wtf lol

[@nosdalgic]

This video is so unhinged at 2x speed

[@7-BIT]

2:42 rank 7 ahh friend

[@WizardyDylan]

that is the worst wrong chat i have ever seen in my whole life

[@MondoSushi]

This was the best episode yet

[@five_6_seven_8]

I'll NEVER confess my cringe 🙊

[@TheLobsterCopter5000]

I submitted one. Dunno if it will ever show up though...

[@frost3533]

I have a lot of cringe to share but no stories. It's all like one sentence cringe, like how I told my friends my absentee dad was Japanese so I was half Japanese (I was just an anime obsessed middle schooler)

[@pokkiheart]

So you were the persona guy

[@frost3533]

@@pokkiheart I've always hated persona 😭 But yeah I was basically the persona guy without the persona

[@tflp1950]

This was one of the most painful ones in a while

[@masterofdoom5000]

Your trauma and misery? Wow......this is like Persona 5 but less Jazzy!

[@andymcclurg9916]

I took a break from this series for a while because I though it would fall off, but it's still intensely captivating

[@Epomanclassics]

CRIINGE CONFESSSIONALLLLLLLLLLL

[@Malice16]

OMG this one was SO good. lol.

[@yummynubs3646]

"Gabe if you're watching this, my bad, you're still my *Redacted"* -That last story if the chatter locked the fuck in

[@potat__]

the mouse trap is my new favorite

[@matthewbartlett3442]

can't believe the vein story didn't make it unDrake

[@PortSDG]

i'm 10 minutes in and this might be the most insane episode

[@meneese9827]

This may have been the best cringe confessional yet

[@ناروتو_كن]

ah yes my favorite series , The cringe CONEYfessional

[@saxeladude]

when you submit an entry but miss the stream

[@liviousgameplay1755]

Every family gathering: Dad: Son, did I just catch you watching Spongebob? Mom: Lord have mercy! My baby!

[@bob_not_bobby]

10:22 he was just had to get the mad milk back

[@TehWhiteTiger]

The cringest part of these is when someone makes an obviously fake story for Coney clout Now that is insanely cringe.

[@Green-su1mo]

I legit get really sad when these vids end

[@g1d3on_j98]

i’ve been waiting! love this show ong

[@salvatore_slate]

masterpiece of a vid

[@dirt2968]

Cringe Confessional gives me life

[@jorblor6476]

My favorite part was the video being over

[@vitalsmash956]

banger of an episode omg

[@pivotguydc1149]

15:05 WAIT CONEY'S GLASSES ARE FAKE?

[@uselesscamel5360]

This might be the best cringe confessional

[@MercMercury]

This shit is hysterical, good stuff lol

[@bentoboxtsu]

Darn these were good as!

[@isferbaad7367]

Wasn't Coney born in 88? He would have been 13 when he saw the trophy in Melee.

[@plabcentral630]

Holy shit I need to have the persona kid to go to a football game or something man that crazy.

[@BigLadle99]

I LOVE CRINGE CONFESSIONAL

[@cowblast_]

golden video

[@sankmcdank]

FELLAS

[@TheBotchJob]

Gabe fell into the trap all us greys fall into... If we're white and can say it why can't our other fellow whites? 😂

[@CyberMan__0]

WE ARE SO BACK

[@wka7009]

I’m ngl as a black person gotta respect gamer word bro. We got a way of knowing whether or not that shit is purposeful or not 💀 he was gon learn soon enough

[@azuraiis]

Wow! That was my story! XD

[@thetisor24]

Which one??

[@rouge-ish324]

Joker

[@DrGandW]

We’re in the top 1% of people that existed by being alive

[@LuSiDious]

Banger submissions!