His Reputation For Stiffing Lawyers Leaves T**** Struggling To Find Good Defenders

[@VinlandAlchemist]

Proud to see the pre-message - my Canadian blood appreciates you all with huge thanks

[@Neil070]

Thank you so much for the message at the start. As a long time fan of the Late Show, it's touching and much appreciated 🇺🇸 🇬🇧

[@kellig.6819]

I am a long time admirer of The Queen. So many Americans are saddened by the passing of this Lovely Lady ❤❤❤

[@barbaraschuld8206]

Sorry for your loss.😞🇺🇲

[@JoseOrtiz-zx8sf]

You appreciated the message mocking the queen and her subjects? :).

[@le2800]

​@@JoseOrtiz-zx8sf Why don't you leave this site you trouble making Trumpist! There was absolutely nothing wrong or mocking sounding about it. That mockery is obviously already alive and well within your tiny mind.

[@le2800]

This was an exceptionally good monologue tonight. I immensely enjoyed it. However, I was immensely saddened to hear about the Queen. I appreciated Stephen Colbert and his staff including that much felt sentiment at the beginning of the monologue. Even though she wasn't our Queen we Americans have always been so ensconced in the lives of your royal family that when Princess Diana passed it was as if we had lost a beloved member of our own family. It feels the same way now that we are hearing about the Queen since she has been around throughout most of our lives. Our sympathy to Her Majesty's family and her countrymen and women. God Bless you all.

[@charliechaos2551]

"Flabrador Deceiver" cracked me up. The names for "he who shall not be named" are a riot!

[@danpowell3953]

Regarding Trump paying a lawyer with a horse: I think Trump could reasonably be called a “Horse Traitor”.

[@couragekarnga8735]

People are definitely creative!

[@patthenry3568]

@@danpowell3953 Oh Dan, that was niiice!

[@pauljohnston9446]

And his followers are trumpanzees

[@charliechaos2551]

@@pauljohnston9446 Nice! Trumpanzees and Re-Trumplicans

[@amandalockwood2291]

Thank you for the comments at the start about the passing of our Queen xx

[@markmarsh27]

I've been playing guitar for over 40 years and I have to say I LOVE the way Colbert's new Bandleader plays. He is top notch, perfect tone and perfect playing!

[@ddjr6673]

The beginning of the video was immensely touching and thoughtful - thank you 🙏

[@Sjalabais]

It’s magic how he keeps the apocalypse light and funny. My best spent 10 minutes of the day.

[@vash121086]

I agree with Stephen please let that go to court. It would be absolutely hilarious. Also with deep regards to the royal family may the queen Rest In Peace she’ll be missed.

[@_Atzin]

Anti-fascist but pro-monarchy?

[@melwelker6077]

@@_Atzin you're funny

[@markbriten6999]

@@_Atzin since the queen was in the armed forces during WWII why would you assume she's a fascist?

[@niamhdwyer5237]

@@_Atzin I mean I am anti Fascist AND anti monarchy but even I recognize the queen was a great woman and, more importantly, that she was a person who is now dead, with a family.

[@avidnongetit8710]

Besides the hilarity if he doesn't get prosecuted our Democracy truly ends.. equal Justice under the Law..

[@juanitaespinoza6619]

Thanks Mr C for keeping it real.

[@catherinepuma2815]

almost spit my coffee out from laughing at that last joke. "Oh no--that's where we keep our secret files!" XD

[@Elizabeth-mp6tr]

Sweet hope!!! Lol Thank you Stephen for keeping us in the normal realm of sanity with laughter!

[@LesterProperties]

Just to be clear, I became a poll worker in 2020, so that older volunteers didn't have to risk their lives. It is a 16 hour day, which requires a lot of focus at the beginning and end for integrity. It is no bake sale.

[@tracycraft]

I joined too in 2020. Fortunately, 8 only do a half shift. But, my mom, brother and sister have done full day shifts. I only did one in November 2020. I was so tired afterwards and dropped my phone breaking it.

[@ericc.sabadin4513]

MAGA Extreme GQP Seditious Traitors ARE PLANNING on Intimidating and Bullying Senior Citizen Volunteers at the Polling Stations.

[@JediKnight19852002]

I'm a precinct Chief and also a sixth grade history teacher. I can't imagine being able to keep sixth graders from going insane during a half-day shift.

[@mykethevet]

🤣🤣🤣🤦‍♂️

[@Voteforhopeandlove]

I saw that! 16 hours is a crazy long workday.

[@pm6693]

Just to cut in and say: thanks, Stephen. From a very sombre UK, I really needed to hear and join in with the laughter this morning.

[@kellig.6819]

You take take the very real fear out of what's going on and make it funny. it helps me cope. Thank you. ❤

[@michaeld9682]

The fear should be old Joe buying anti radiation drugs for his impending ww3 You are more concerned with trump and the propaganda

[@stanleyban]

That's nice that you placed a disclaimer honoring Queen Elizabeth,'s passing,!! 👍👍👍

[@Krieghandt]

Surely stiffing lawyers will never come back to bite you in the arse.

[@syvnwckdsyns3159]

As a high school teacher and ER nurse, you have kept me walking the tightrope of sanity… satire at its finest ❤️

[@mmmountain1968]

how tf do u balance both of those traumas, u legend

[@jamesgoines7663]

Thanks for all you do.

[@roccocupido5082]

Boy the bar for SATIRE has certainly become EXTREMELY low...boy if THIS is satire today....but of course it isn't..it is sour smug shitlib corporate funded propaganda....(for BRACING..SANE...MEANINGFUL SATIRE try George Carlin..Mort Sahl...LENNY BRUCE...the late lamented Colbert of the Group Bush Washington Correspondence Dinner..) satire at its finest..yeah right

[@michaelmcgregor7374]

Total bullshit is what it is!!! On par with "The View"!!!

[@weatherornotheresmike]

Thank you for what you don

[@winesap2]

It’s not just women upset about the overturning of Roe v Wade!

[@ToniGlick]

Even less feminist leaning men might think about the increased incidence of child support cases this will engender.

[@RightSoFarr]

Beta

[@markb6295]

@@RightSoFarr Congratulations....acceptance is the 1st step toward recovery!!!

[@kyleoates6367]

@@RightSoFarr All too often have I heard so-called alphas rail against how the courts favor the mother in custody/child support cases... and ALSO support anti-choice legislation. You guys purposefully shoot yourselves in your own feet and blame the shoe when it can't stop a bullet.

[@birdick1307]

It's not women, though. There are many millions of women who don't support killing babies. It's deg3n3rate sloots, and beta male s.0.l.bo1's.

[@dianemitchell1717]

Thank you sooo much for helping me laugh amid the chaos. You are the best, Stephen.

[@hadeelhoque8589]

"South Florida is where we keep top secret files." 😂 Best line ever Steven. You are one of my favorite stand up comedians 👍

[@singvogel7895]

Actually, as a former MI soldier in Germany who has experience with NSA SCIFS, I bet you dollars to doughnuts the we have a field station in southern Florida. To monitor Cuba. So, yeah, actually we DO store TS/SI there, more than likely.

[@robertb.7772]

@@singvogel7895 "Winston Churchill, a catholic priest, and Snoop Dog walk into a bar..." Singvogel: "Actually, as a former bartender, this scenario is highly unlikely."

[@singvogel7895]

@@robertb.7772 LOL, ok, well, no one ever said I did not have an eye for the obvious! And you clearly have an affinity for finely absurdist language. Well done, that man. 🙂

[@robertb.7772]

@@singvogel7895 Thanks for having a sense of humor. Have a nice weekend!

[@hadeelhoque8589]

@@singvogel7895 if that is true, then they better relocate their storage area since South Florida is going to drown 🙄 thanks to Global Warming.

[@g.g.matuga4986]

🤣”Please let this go to trial😂,”Stephen Colbert.

[@JerryRigEverything]

Lol - that ending. Best joke in years.

[@AngelaKSellsHomes]

Omg why isn't that all everyone is taking about. 🎤💥

[@raybin6873]

Be ironic if a top secret doc had info declaring the melting ice will flood Florida and we are doomed.

[@davidswanson5669]

How disappointing that a fellow elder is found drunk and pacified on mainstream propaganda.

[@kashifkhan1042]

Jerry is a Colbert fan!!!

[@James_T_Quirk]

Thwaits 3 to 10 sea level rise, Greenland another 1 to 3 rise, hmmm, Heatwaves Everywhere, Drought, or Floods, as somebody who spent 40 years trying to get idiots to look at Data, its as I suspected, until it starts happening People will not Believe in Climate Change, Strangely there are video docs from 1989 predicting were we are now ... Better buy some water-wings .. or maybe a igloo & warm Clothes, cause when all that Fresh Water run off Greenland, it will stop the Ocean Heat Pump that keeps Europe Warm, it happened in 1500's "the Little Ice Age" to small extent, but that was just a Glacial Ice dam in Canada collapsing and pouring Gigatons of fresh water down St Lawrence River into North Atlantic, so maybe a little more ICE-AGE like conditions, PS thru Ice-core analysis they found it happened in less than 20 years, switching to colder extremes ..

[@andrewd5185]

I'm so glad Stephen is back, T****'s constant onslaught of BS is tough to bear without someone bringing bit of levity to the table.

[@Miller_Time]

He's not Voldemort, you can say his name

[@HobertMallow]

@@Miller_Time who?

[@chrisgullett4332]

Damn! Y'all are so week you are now editing his name? That Trump Derangement Syndrome has got y'all down bad. Toughen up pansy! Y'all need to be deprogrammed from that cult called the Democrat Party. They got y'all making fools of yourselves, and y'all do not even realize it. This is pure comedy gold.

[@elegantgypsyrose5328]

Why would we want to foul our taste buds saying his name? I just call him Lord Cheeto

[@chrisgullett4332]

@@elegantgypsyrose5328 Weak people can never say their foes names. just like when y'all could not say Islamic terrorist. The first step in being brave is saying the enemies name. If y'all cannot say Trump then you are either super weak, which we all know is true, or just following your cult leaders orders, which we also know is true. Again, y'all need deprogrammed stat. The Democrat Party is evil, and they are playing y'all like fiddles. They target the dumb, because they know they can use you. It is fun watching.

[@RamblinJer]

I did a job for Trump about 10 years ago and knowing how contractors often get stiffed I informed payment was due at time of service. One of 2 or 3 accountants at location provided his (Trumps) credit card. Swiping it, it got declined every time tried. His accountant ended up paying his bill, lol. Either way I got my money! 😛

[@elizabethwatt8131]

THAT is PATHETIC! tRumps credit card was declined??!!!!!! Thank Heaven you got your money! The Accountant would find a way to get paid, hopefully. Cheap, crooked, lying, broke, fraud bastard, pretending to be rich. The only job he’s ever had, that paid, was as the president. They shoulda denied his pay check. The bastard never did a day’s work and constantly squandered hundreds of MILLIONS taking Airforce1 everywhere, and the helicopter every weekend just to go to fucking maralardo!

[@fifthbusiness1678]

Uh ... ok

[@nycatlady2314]

Good for you. Too many were cheated by this jerk

[@anthonyzullo]

Make sense. I've seen this happen at my business. Watchingba secretary pay for their boss. O saw it at a dinner once and it instantly made me not wanna work with the woman.

[@carolynpspk3912]

I knew a Jersey contractor who did stonework and masonry on his New Jersey casino and trump basically told him he would get less than half of what was owed or else be bankrupted through lengthy lawsuits. Didn't even cover the materials, and so the company went bankrupt anyway.

[@johnbaldock6353]

Thank You for your kind Remarks about our Dear Queen. God Save The King & God Bless America.🇬🇧❤🇺🇸

[@maruvia]

I missed you Mr. Colbert

[@kingclarence1710]

Yes !😉

[@uofm4life735]

I was hoping Colbert was deceased. F**k all libs.

[@TheSunflowerGalaxy]

The Orange con's knowledge of national secrets would mean he can't be housed with a general prison population. He'll have to be completely isolated from the world in every respect. Perhaps in a mountain or on an empty prarie with an outhouse. Can you imagine what it would do to a complete narcissist to be cut off from every source feeding his ego?🕊

[@celestialstar6450]

Put him in solitary and throw away the key

[@juliemissick4206]

There’s a supermax prison in Florence, Colorado that he could be housed in. Literally one hour per day outside your cell (which you have to yourself) for recreation. The rest of the time he’d be in total isolation. The perfect place for him. He wouldn’t even need the Secret Service people to watch him there.

[@triciac1019]

​@@juliemissick4206 sounds perfect!

[@lisawise9849]

@@juliemissick4206 sounds like a perfect place for him.

[@watersportsbyjamesfitzroy5870]

That sounds like a dream!

[@talscorner3696]

Seeing people going to vote always makes me happy

[@gram2977]

Love you Stephen! You keep me laughing through these crazy times we live in.

[@laranadesign4764]

I smiled the whole time, this bit is so funny and true. I'm glad I'm not in public looking like the antisocial but optimistic person that I am, staring endearingly at my phone and chuckling.

[@maxcushingham3468]

Florida! That’s where we keep our top secret files! Had me in stitches. 😂

[@waltonsimons12]

I like to think Colbert first got the idea for that "stable genius" joke back in 2018, and he's been waiting patiently ever since for the perfect moment to use it.

[@allangibson8494]

And Mr Ed aka Bayard wanted credit…

[@kierstenridgway4634]

Just like when I hear teen slang and wait until just the right moment to embrace my kid. 😆❤️✌️

[@acciousername6776]

@@kierstenridgway4634 My mom does that, and I'm 25! 🤦🏻‍♀️😄❤️

[@Echo81Rumple83]

And now Randy Rainbow's parody is running thru my head 😆

[@WyvernYT]

If America wanted a stable genius we would have voted for Mister Ed.

[@mtJane]

It's SO good to have you back, Stephen. Love how you hit the nail on the head on current events.

[@PartyStarters1]

@Special Master never heard of her.

[@Mr.Brewer83]

@@PartyStarters1 You should have, it's only killing this cringe propaganda dance theory every night in the ratings!

[@markb6295]

@@Mr.Brewer83 Is she hot?

[@Mr.Brewer83]

@@markb6295 Apparently with the late night demographics.

[@FrikInCasualMode]

I feel it was the most heartfelt prayer Stephen said in a very long time. And if it come to pass, it would be hilarious to watch.

[@yehandyeh842]

I love how Colbert put that message at the start of this and how respectful that was ♥🇬🇧

[@jayneberkley9742]

I’m with Stephen……please let this go to trial😂😂😂

[@yodel1300]

The note at the start was nice. Love from UK

[@Opus313]

Even OJ was able to hire a legal dream team... Donnie has assembled a legal nightmare!

[@ttacking_you]

They shared a Derschowitz, once.fuck , the "man" IN OFFICE literally had to get one of O.J. Simpsons lawyer's, I don't even know how you begin to defend that?

[@pzsoldat2516]

Great comment

[@ttacking_you]

We're all "Flooded" with embroglios. wait!!! this f****** show listed all of the scandals on the chalkboard one time the real question is who put that up????

[@lucy2014]

And I hope his life ends up a living nightmare! He deserves the worse life has to offer!

[@intomnia3313]

The defense for oj received many good things from the publicity alone. Imagine trump’s defense? Good publicity or bad?

[@tanyajackson-smith5504]

Good one, Stephen. A stable genius.

[@yalondahowell9960]

LOL I love your show Stephen Colbert I look forward to it every day I would even watch you on weekends🤗🤗🤗

[@rattusgrenadus8291]

I teach con law and had a student ask if we could cover the various defenses trump has used in court regarding constitutional law and i said sure when he comes up with one ill discuss it in student hours

[@dday9433]

Trying to explain the extreme lack of legal procedure in his filings to non lawyers is also a challenge... flashback to my law school civil procedure professor thundering "procedure IS law." LOL.

[@rattusgrenadus8291]

@@dday9433 please dont remind me of civpro

[@peaceloveharmony7213]

Excellent reply to your student. ✌🏼🇺🇸

[@ericc.sabadin4513]

NO DEFENSE...HE COMMITED ESPIONAGE!

[@blaisemacpherson7637]

You know Don Crowley?

[@richardosbourne3346]

I really miss John's energy, sending him and his family much love and respect.

[@debmainas]

John Batiste much love to you and your wife!!!!

[@sheilasmith1109]

I thought John B was coming back after some needed time off! Could someone please help me understand the scoop about him? Sounds like he’s not!🙀🥲

[@mypillowguy445]

@@sheilasmith1109 His wife is battling cancer.

[@toastysock]

I didn't even notice he was gone

[@Darknamja]

@@sheilasmith1109 Jon Batiste is leaving The Late Show With Stephen Colbert after seven years. The band leader will be replaced by Louis Cato, who has served as interim bandleader this summer. The recent Grammy winner is departing to pursue personal and professional interests. Aug 12, 2022

[@bobp4]

From the UK, many thanks for the opening statement. This is the best show for going after the destroyers of democracy and environment like the orange man.

[@rubberducky4074]

@Jigger Jones As opposed to America who treated the Natives as saints?

[@hellogoodbyeforever]

Only people destroying democracy are the ones leaving the boarder open, Silencing the opposition, wanting mail in votes.

[@hellogoodbyeforever]

@@rubberducky4074 name one 1st world that hasnt taken from and murdered natives. Ill wait.

[@ire1398]

I am disgusted at how many Americans are fascinated with royalty. I am sorry for Mrs. Windsor’s passing. Her position is/was inherently evil.

[@mjrippe]

"I was born better than you"? Fuck monarchies.

[@NguyetNguyen-tj1wr]

Love Colbert’s delivery always the best!

[@stacyperkins2470]

I so dig you S.C. Keep keeping it real.

[@judithsullivan2815]

Brilliant absolutely brilliant as usual. He takes the edge off the end of the world 🤭🤪😂

[@ashleygower9892]

So happy to have you back.i missed you making me laugh every night.i hope you win them Emmy awards.you are my favorite late night show.

[@kmtrahan01]

Rudy went from “America’s Mayor” to “Dr Head Juice” Seems pretty accurate to me. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MoiraWillenov]

Is Dr Headjuice similar to Dr Detroit? :P

[@elizabethloren-broz2680]

I guess we can not FIX STUPID which means you are BEYOND any help.

[@Happydayz-2025]

He was always head juice anti-democratic lunatic.

[@andrewgarcia4330]

It's perfect ! lol

[@Author_Alyssa_Taylor]

So pleased The Late Show was respectful of my queen's passing. I am Canadian and I gave her flowers years ago. Was one of the highlights of my life.

[@Invisiblegirlswatchn]

Colbert hates the Queen haha, like any decent Irishman.

[@fox5411]

Love Colbert and his family !

[@mattevans-koch9353]

Thank you Stephen. I think I can survive the insanity until Monday night. Have a good weekend.

[@BlueJazzBoyNZ]

even Lionel Hutz, Attorney At Law is not returning Donald's calls

[@evillyn7895]

I just cannot get enough of that guy's infectious laughter. Somehow it just makes the jokes seem even funnier.

[@fauxpinkytoo]

Stay strong. Wishing you good health and many blessings.

[@Shuizid]

And yet he is STILL walking free and even getting special treatment from the judge. So much for "nobody is above the law".

[@TheOGClassicMan]

Thoughts and prayers to the Royal Family and the people of England.

[@stephenwedderburn9307]

Things are really bad when even shyster lawyers are afraid of taking your case lol 😆

[@stephenwedderburn9307]

@@bobbytookalook hahaha 😆, plus they'd definitely need to be paid up front by trump so they could pay their lawyers!

[@toddboughn5168]

A stable genius! A horse is a horse, of course of course...

[@lorrainegill7654]

You are simply the best Steve. Even extinction is funny.

[@babyblue61549]

Oh I’ve missed you Stephen. Thank you 🙏 I need the lol in my mornings.

[@AaronTremblay]

He still owes my city thousands after one of his crack pot festivals a few years back

[@Opus313]

Good luck at the Emmys, Late Show! You certainly deserve several wins!

[@corybeez89]

enjoy it while you can, this form of media is dying due to nobody watching anymore. ask Stephen how his ratings are compared to 10 years ago. any of the top 30 current popular podcasts brings in more viewers and followers than Stephen's show and many others COMBINED. I'm surprised anyone is still watching honestly

[@HooksBill]

@@corybeez89 It's a small percentage of what used to. Stephen and his kind are obsolete. They know it and their leftover fans will figure it out before long. People are sick of listening to arrogant loud mouth talk show hosts who spew hate and division. That's all Stevie Boy does. He's a coward.

[@migueltherrera2059]

Hey how does it feel to be #2

[@melwelker6077]

@@corybeez89 OMG, not so; can't even begin to name a right wing late night host. We love Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, Seth Meyers etc over here in Australia. 😁🇦🇺. They are funny & talented & you know it. Murdoch media is for douche bags.😂

[@melwelker6077]

@@HooksBill Projection much?

[@ivo4357]

Sometimes being stubborn can be good: if people make it difficult for me to vote, I'll be even more determined to vote. So when they start scaring away poll workers, SIGN ME UP!!! Don't let them scare you away from deciding your own future.

[@zaiologyy]

When Stephen shines the whole world gets better

[@ccompeaux1]

That was an awesome way to end that monologue! 😂

[@Indigo00eyez]

I wasn’t expecting the impromptu Eric, thanks 😂😂

[@patrickhewitt7899]

He always does great monologs highlight of my day.

[@buffstraw2969]

I always feel better after I do a satisfying monolog.

[@Mr.Brewer83]

He is the most cringe late night tv show host in history, and that's saying a lot cuz Jimmy Fallon exists.

[@debrahelmlinger6256]

Damn right, we're mad as hell. VOTE, VOTE, VOTE

[@carolinehernandez7221]

The word ‘subjects’ was a deliberate shade. Hello from the 🇬🇧

[@karenwhinesmore9347]

Always Excellent Stephen!! I love your Eric impression 😁😁😁

[@elplebehdsg4060]

This guy is a genius. Colbert for president 2024.

[@rayban099]

LOL, the prayer for the inept lawyers to go to trial is PRICELESS!! Of course you know, @colbertlateshow is going straight to 🔥🔥

[@jessetorres8738]

To put in perspective how long The Queen lived & served, she was born when Coolidge was President, been on the throne since Truman was President, & has been around to see 39% of our country's history.

[@tylerkochman1007]

Also, Biden has been around for over 32% of US history since 1776. Our country is young, and our president is old.

[@baknights14]

She's met 14 presidents since her reign began from Truman to Biden. And had 15 prime ministers as well.

[@nemofan111]

Very interesting and sad at the same time

[@dyent]

She served as a medic during WW2, which ended only 7 years before she inherited the throne.

[@jeaniebird999]

Wow

[@QDSLand]

I am sure the lawyer that was to be paid with a horse said "Screw you ....and the horse you rode in on" Funny stuff... keep them coming 👍👍👍👍👍

[@judybritt6288]

Colbert's jokes are funny- because they highlight true problems. I'm a Georgian. Fulton County (in Atlanta) is having trouble finding not only enough poll workers, but directors for the November election. The Director of Elections here quit after the 2020 election because of all the threats & undeserved criticism. We currently have an interim director who does not want the job and has refused an offer to make it a permanent position. To date, that position is still unfilled. Who would want a job that is high pressured, knowing they will be threatened & criticized no matter how well they do the job? Oh, and add to that the fact that you could go to jail if you are accused of breaking your oath & not doing your job properly. We have Trump & the Republicans to thank for that.

[@hd259607]

Yep. Just like teachers. Who wants a job where everything you do is wrong?

[@NewMessage]

Come on... We've all heard the old saying... Donnie should represent himself!

[@jeangillespie1173]

Yeah, he knows it all@

[@maryelizabeth6797]

He can’t do that. Donnie would not be able to explain to the court that his client can’t testify because he lies too much.

[@triciac1019]

​@@maryelizabeth6797 hehehe, perfect!

[@allisoncastillo9992]

And you forgot to mention about the judge WITH NO EXPERIENCE 😁

[@lspiegel5704]

I’m surprised he’s looking for a lawyer. With his ego you’d think he believes he’ll never be indicted. Get it in gear DOJ. Any other citizen would already be in jail!

[@adoculos4521]

Try to keep up with the legal process dummy.

[@corbeau-_-]

So why did he hire Cohen for years?The dude always needs a lawyer - he's been sued countless of times...

[@corbeau-_-]

And the Orange knows only idiots defend themselves in court - no matter how much you look down on him.

[@lspiegel5704]

@@corbeau-_- Who said sued? Can’t you read? I said indicted. The bigger the charge the more his ego is inflated.

[@lspiegel5704]

@@corbeau-_- Everybody looks down on him. Some just don’t want to admit it.

[@jakegilbert8116]

Oh, but the tie and shirt… just perfect. Smashed it!!!!❤

[@Dan-nt2yb]

Stephen’s Eric Trump impersonation gets my day going in a positive way.☺️👍🏾

[@JohnPeacekeeper]

Funny how among his millions of sheep who'd sacrifice babies to him, not a single one of them is a decent lawyer. Because to be a decent lawyer... you'd need to at least have a modicum of intelligence.

[@silvercloud1641]

Psalm 137:9

[@lostcat9lives322]

Perhaps they're already busy with court, what with rioting in the capital and whatnot.

[@Echo81Rumple83]

Not even the top prosecutors from the first Ace Attorney trilogy, sans Mr. Payne, would represent that pile of mutated bad soup in court 😆

[@corbeau-_-]

have you seen Rudy? I mean, all your bogus sounds nice, but it's far from reality.

[@melwelker6077]

Babies?.. is there a delivery service? And a good variety of condiments to go with?😃

[@Jefuslives]

It doesn't matter if you've got a good defender, or even a defense when the judges are in your pocket.

[@iamanomas]

He doesn’t need lawyers. He’s got judges!

[@rebeccacamacho-sobczak4282]

Good idea!!!

[@notsure1969]

Heyooooooo!

[@sks1258]

Trump needs his head examined to see what the heck happened to his brain.

[@dudleyburleson8668]

He got unknown lawyers that handed your asses to you In the Senate impeachment trial remember? I do I loved it

[@dudleyburleson8668]

@notfiveo the last ones he got made fools out of you morons in the. Senate impeachment trial remember? I do

[@small3687]

Stable genius had me dying. He does have a Colt following.

[@ElissaStark514]

Lol

[@JeffreyGoddin]

I worked in Homestead in orchards, avocados, lychee, starfruit, longan. 10 feet of sea level rise would reduce most of Florida to a few islands, namely landfills. Unimaginable that we're letting this happen.

[@JoeEnglandShow]

If Democrats could just add two senators and keep the House, we could codify Roe v Wade. We're so close.

[@jennyjohnson5428]

Well idk about this plan overall, but DC would love to achieve statehood 🤷‍♀️

[@polyphase4425]

"Hell hath no fury like 157,000,000 women scorned." - A protesting woman

[@dsddala467]

@@polyphase4425 And the men who support them. My husband is outraged too!

[@highstimulation2497]

don't we need 66 to do that? I mean, to amend the constitution?

[@peterbear4413]

@@dsddala467 exactly! I’m a male, and I will admit that, as an adoptee, I find abortion distasteful. But… it’s not my place to tell anyone what they can or can’t do with their body. So I’m pro choice, even if I don’t agree with the choice. Especially since I don’t agree. Because choice is the point.

[@shazaadibrahim4361]

It doesn't matter how much of a joke his lawyers are, it's not like he'll do any time or anything. The US justice system is the real joke

[@b1646717]

Sad fact

[@uofm4life735]

The whole Biden administration is the real joke. F**k all libs.

[@michaelmcgregor7374]

Yes, especially with the democrats in charge!!!

[@ddd8828]

o yeah i bet the GOP woulda done such a fantastic job at prosecuting trump lmao

[@uofm4life735]

@@michaelmcgregor7374 They won't be in charge much longer unless they get the FBI & big tech to interfere again.

[@untoldtales7850]

Brit here, love Stephen Colbert and I appreciate the message at the start from the late show team reflecting our loss. The late show is American focused and intended - they absolutely didn’t need to do that. Thank you.

[@moimeself1088]

Do Brits consider themselves "subjects" of the monarchy? It seems so archaic.

[@beckyedmunds]

@@moimeself1088 of course we don't. I think that was a bit of a poke at us Brits.

[@cbjones2212]

Same here from an Aussie. God save King Charles III

[@untoldtales7850]

@@moimeself1088 is a good question. Technically yes, but we have a democracy so we consider ourselves more citizens of the UK (or the countries that make it up, so Northern Ireland, Wales, England, Scotland etc). The royal family is part of that democracy but it’s very symbolic rather than active if that makes sense. If you want to see a tradition in action (which is rather funny), look up Black Rod. They’re the Royal representative who gets the door slammed on their face to represent our democratic independence from the crown.

[@couragekarnga8735]

I'm so sorry for your country's loss! I feel like the world's grandma just died!

[@dshepherd107]

On your game tonight good sir (& writers ⭐️)! That bit was a great pressure release! Been a tough few days. My thanks 🙇

[@BiscuitsInSeptember]

This monologue was perfection

[@glendagraves1637]

Unfortunately, Trump jumps courts and picks a judge who thinks she "owes" him for appointing her. Somehow a judges oath should at least mean the judge will NOT obstruct justice.

[@ywoulduchoosetousethis]

Exposing the travesty of the Rule of Law?

[@psyloche]

Why that's crazy thinking, unbecoming of someone who thinks he's some kind of mob boss.

[@avidnongetit8710]

We are all fed this TV lie that legal workers have ethics and Morals better than the rest of us... trmp will destroy our Democracy if he is allowed no consequences for his actions...

[@ywoulduchoosetousethis]

@@avidnongetit8710 There is absolutely no truth with the American Dream involved. The higher the iq the higher the level of corruptibility. The higher the institute of learning, the higher the corruptibility. With those 3 premises in place u could calculate levels of corruptibility including one's own. It gets worse when u look at protected systems producing narcissistic environments with sensitivity to self and insensitivity to norms becomes the social dogma (system to encase fear into normalized behaviours so they disappear into daily routines we call common sense). Noted is the reality where everything said since birth has been repeated billions of time from the starting of human history. The only new utterances is 2000 years old, "turn the other cheek" as our military complexity mentality has flexed since the first man or woman created a spear and forced neighbour's to do the same. We do not know any other language other than war. It is the hopelessness of it that drives that corruptibility or be crushed in despair.

[@johnbondola3246]

his " brilliant and courageous Judge," is an accompliss to obstructing justice, from the bench of "Justice," truly "crime that is taking place right before" our "very eyes."

[@donadams8345]

Why does he need to worry about lawyers when he can go judge shopping.

[@atticuswalker8970]

Its like asking a special master to independantly test the quality of the cocaine they found. Because it wasnt all cocaine. And you kept it with evidence of other crimes.

[@josephmarkese8563]

So Trumps excuse is he using Drugs?

[@jamesascholl9216]

@@josephmarkese8563 are you using drugs? If not what's your excuse?

[@jv-lk7bc]

comrade, in Mar-a-Lago drugs use you

[@Mr.Brewer83]

If there is nothing to hide, the FBI should welcome an independent special master to review.

[@jamesascholl9216]

​@@Mr.Brewer83 the FBI served a legal search warrant they have nothing to hide. Darth Traitor on the other hand is hoping an independent master can cover the turd he laid.

[@papasmurf1904]

That very last snippet was hilarious! 😂

[@ellenfisher5750]

"I know how you feel, Bill" - hysterical!!!!!! Love that Eric impression!!!!!

[@Genny-Zee]

Stephen doing an Eric trump impression is the greatest thing to happen on late night tv since Jimmy Fallon ruffling trumps hair.

[@altzana396]

Oh no! Not southern Florida! Can it take Texas too? Asking for a friend.

[@gamepapa1211]

Fun fact: that was the SECOND time Darth Traitor tried to pay someone off with a horse. The first one was a mob enforcer, and now I can't stop imagining what the movie adaptation of THAT story looked like if the enforcer had said yes.

[@couragekarnga8735]

If a movie is ever made about this era, it'll look like a fucked up version of Idiocracy crossed with the Godfather.

[@gamepapa1211]

@@couragekarnga8735 and future historians will argue that the events in the movie were less ridiculous than what had actually happened.

[@JLee-rt6ve]

The first time, he didn't want to pay full price, so the God(awful)father just sent a head ...

[@jv-lk7bc]

the difference between Trump and Al Capone was Capone's crime was organized..

[@ThenameisNiels]

xD "NEVER HAVE THERE BEEN! a movie about the president of the United shtates!" xD

[@janetbooth9268]

Stephen, you were on your top game last night, kudos soooooo funny!

[@bwell6941]

quote the ‘kids’….we takin’ both ‘dem bishes‼️PERIODT ‼️