How autistics show affection

Pack with me while I share some common autistic love languages and how they show up in my life! A lot of autistic and neurodivergent people show and express their love differently. If you are autistic what are some of your love languages? Let me know in the comments down below
TIME STAMPS
00:00 - 00:57 Introduction
00:58 - 01:36 Love languages into
01:37 - 02:48 Parallel play
02:49 - 04:51 Respecting schedules and routines
04:512 - 06:14 romantic partner accommodations
06:15 - 08:05 Info dumping
08:06 - 09:15 Packing
09:16 - 10:23 Memorizing details about others
10:24 - 14:33 Feeling unloved
14:34 - 15:43 Travel errands
15:44 - 18:01 Sharing my special interest
18:02 - 18:48 Outro
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ABOUT ME
Hello, for those of you that dont know me my name is Morgan. I am a 22 year old late diagnosed autistic ADHDer from Massachusetts. I am sharing my life on social media in an effort to advocate for autism awareness and break down the stigma surrounding autism and ADHD. I mostly talk about neurodivergent stuff but I also make lifestyle and travel content.

[@erbearthgarden3658]

'You are not showering me with love; you are showering me with anxiety." - I want to yell this sometimes when I am overwhelmed.

[@leroysanford2726]

Needs to go on a t-shirt!

[@SteveGameSDG]

If I'm in the same room, whether or not I talk to you, that's love. I don't just sit in the room with anyone.

[@simonedutch558]

Thanks Steve, that’s very helpful information.

[@arianewinter4266]

Yeah, if I am willing to spend more then a few hours with them and can decompress despite their company, thats love

[@AgnesBalla9602]

That! Perfectly said! I am exactly like that!

[@ManicMercurianAstrology]

Aw, you're like my cats lol 🧡

[@sciencenotsrigma]

@@ManicMercurianAstrology. I have a lot in common with my cats. Some people are jealous of cats because they can just walk out of a social situation they’re not feeling, but people misunderstand cats, too. I’ve had enough stray cats and foster cats over to know they are also bound by human social expectations!

[@HannahFields444]

Parallel play reminds me of old couples in movies who sit in silence together, one reading, one knitting, or similar, and exchange an occasional smile or pat on the hand.

[@citydweller99]

It shows the couple are comfortable with one another. People seem so caught up on passion and excitement 24/7 nowadays.

[@nelissaortiz5405]

This is the best thing to me. Even if we started doing something together and you move on to something else as long as you're chilling with me still I couldn't give a heck. Like watching a movie together but if ya get bored pls don't hesitate to whip out your phone to stay entertained

[@Sky-Child]

Me and my husband do parallel play and it's so nice to just look up and smile and go back to what you are doing. Love is giving each space and freedom to do your own thing

[@chasechamberlain8721]

I love how your love language is literally treat people how you want to be treated!

[@user_kH9bw3ns1]

but what if someone else is doing that but the other person takes it differently? :(

[@eyalguz6303]

Yeah, info-dumping is a sure sign that I like someone. If I don't like you, I will not even acknowledge your existence, but if I like you I will always be looking for you and will always talk to you and share all the things you never wanted to know. Needless to say, it doesn't always end well... The parallel play is another big one. If I get comfortable enough around you to just quietly do my thing, I definitely like you.

[@Alterragen-sg3od]

I have to admit, sometimes I send my friends to your videos just so they can understand me more. You always put the exact words Im always trying to express and I thank you for that.

[@mikebereziuk6041]

I agree. Morgan clearly scripts these videos so well. She is so clear in what she says. It also is very informative and real. I feel seen by her videos and I hope it easy for the neurotypical to understand.

[@TheSunnyOne]

I share/do a lot of these. My major one though is Penguin Pebbling. I share links, articles, videos, memes, pictures, etc with all of my friends over chats, and over time as I get to know a person the stuff I share becomes a lot more personalised toward the stuff I know they like. I have a friend I share all the dinosaur news I can find with, I have others that I share certain film news, etc, etc. When I have the money/time, I also like to give gifts to my friends. Little things that say "I'm thinking of you" I just made a whole bunch of bracelets for all of my friends and have been sending them out in the mail ^_^ Each bracelet is themed around their interests (dinosaur girl got 2 about dinos, etc)

[@unrulycrow6299]

Omg I do the same! Calling it Penguin Pebbling is really cute 😭❤️

[@TheSunnyOne]

@@unrulycrow6299 I saw a post about it years and years ago, and that's the name for it that has stuck with me 😅💝

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

I love that!

[@spacebar9733]

🥹😭

[@NotWhatIamMadeFor]

You are a great friend!

[@oogrooq]

I'm not diagnosed but these resonate with me. One thing I'd add is "speaking the truth, however brutal". Or maybe "being as straight forward as possible". It saves time and I don't have to try to interpret anything.

[@davefengler4266]

It's amazing how most people don't want to hear the truth, they want to hear what they want to hear. As an INTP, I am typically BRUTALLY honest. If my wife comes up with an idea, that I think is stupid, I will exactly say that! That's FREAKING STUPID!! WHY would you want to do that???!!!

[@SGHNTZ]

​@@davefengler4266It's because truths and opinions are not the same thing.

[@truedepth3]

@@davefengler4266 INTP would only use ad-hominem against people they have zero intellectual respect for, after many failed attempts at trying to use logic with them. Lame. Tell her why her idea won't work, or is not good, instead of insulting her, or leave her, and let her find someone that doesn't abuse her.

[@PrettyGirlRock1115]

@@truedepth3he‘s not abusing her by finding an idea of hers stupid are you serious? You can express that you‘re not a fan of someone‘s idea it‘d only become abuse if he‘d start calling her names or put his hands on her.

[@truedepth3]

@@PrettyGirlRock1115 Calling her ideas stupid, is calling her stupid. Insulting someone is not a valid argument. She deserves better.

[@JulianneC]

I so feel the parallel play vibe. Like how cool would it be to just perpetually be on a call with a bestie while doing normal errands and chores! Just existing together would make some parts of life way cooler

[@SavannahRay]

I did this a lot with a close friend after her and I graduated high school! we talked on the phone about our special interests/hobbies repeatedly and gave each other advice on setting boundaries and pet peeves with our bfs while I was doing my daily house chores in a spasific way for example I get up at 7:30 a.m. doing laundry, 8:00 shower, 10:30 put laundry in dryer, 12:15 make myself lunch, then the rest of my day involved diving deep into my hyperfixation on how constantly getting a dopamine fix often leaning towards overconsumption of that said thing. For examples sugar, drugs, alchol, video games, etc… constant prsuit of pleasure could lead down a path of pain.

[@MDWLRK7]

Every time I doubt my having autism, you post a friggin video and I’m like, “Yep. That’s me.” I’m also learning to understand fellow autistics in a different way even though we might not share similar issues/hyperfixations/etc. One of my love languages is gift giving tbh, but I try to pick something I KNOW they can’t dislike. I always feel like it’s not appreciated though so I stopped doing it which is a bummer. But also listening and words of affirmation while allowing them to vent and get angry bc it’s not directed towards me and I know that’s something I need sometimes. Back in 2013, I desperately needed to vent when I came home from work but my mom thought I was somehow mad at her. I wasn’t and I’d tell her I wasn’t. I’m just venting, (probably a meltdown tbh) and panicking. 🤷‍♀️ We love you, Morgan! Hope you’re enjoying your trip!!! Stay safe! Praying only good things for you!

[@Kejoin95]

Love your content! My Autistic love languages include infodumping and parallel play as well, but also include penguin-pebbling where I share info nuggets and small gifts with my loved ones about things that I know they enjoy/remind me of them; including pictures, videos, memes, and just random info I researched.

[@mothMOV]

same :D

[@caylarivera2804]

Parallel play and respecting my routines are two big ones. I have had a lot of issues in the past with partners wanting to do crazy spontaneous things that I had no plan or frame of reference for and it would always cause immense stress and anxiety and usually lead to a blow up or melt down. My current partner is very routine oriented along with me, and most of what we do is Parallel play watching KZbin in the same room on different devices while I engage in my special interest in crafting and it's wonderfully relaxing. Many neurotypical people may see this as boring or sad that we aren't interacting constantly, but it is the best place in the world to be in our opinions. Just chilling and doing our favorite stuff and occasionally infodumping at each other and showing each other things that make us laugh. ❤ thanks for talking about this, hope you have a great trip!

[@WyanetStarJ]

This made me laugh, you're just like me and my daughter 😂 Some might think we're so addicted to our advices and maybe we are, but it's something we both have special interest. I make music and designs with my phone, watch videos, make sudokus and send insta reels to my daughter and some friends. My daughter does the same. We don't need to talk a lot but we are present and comfortable and I know that it's also her way to relax from all the social burdens of that day in school etc. We just totally need that kind of rest to be able to function, to do our house chores and stuff like that. Without any pressure of needing to react to anything, please 😂

[@shelplussourdough]

12:02 This is so sweet. I'm very similar, Morgan. I love small details and feel so loved when people remember me.

[@paulasantacruz9571]

From the 5 Love languages, mine has always been quality time, now I understand it’s parallel play 😅❤

[@nus786]

Wow. You are God's gift. An angel. My 9 yrs old son is also autistic. I can relate all of these points signs you mentioned. I ve learnt so much through this video. Surely will help me become a better understanding father. God bless you always dear ❤

[@simonedutch558]

Love this, I’m trying to learn about autism for my newly diagnosed daughter whose 24 so this was really helpful ❤

[@c0niferal]

I'm a newly diagnosed 22yr old & it's very cool that you're learning about this for your kid :)

[@simonedutch558]

@@c0niferal thank you that’s really kind of you. I hope you’re doing well 😊

[@c0niferal]

@@simonedutch558 I am thank you, just over a year since my AuDHD diagnoses & I'm happier, less stressed & more in touch with who I am than ever before. I hope something similar can happen for your daughter :)

[@simonedutch558]

@@c0niferal 😀🤩💝

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

Oh that´s so lovely You do this, do research on it at watching autistic YTers🥰

[@peakster753]

One of the things people appreciate about me is my ability to remember different notable facts and so the memorizing details about others is something I'm involved in. One uncommon love language I have is photo projects...I'll take photos at different notable events in the life of my church (or other events I wind up being part of) and then gather them with other notable memories for people...at Eastertime every year I'll take pics of different crosses many local churches decorate and sometimes if I know friends have different connections to that church (either they tell me they belong to that church or in some cases friends have a parent or sibling pass away that belong to that church) and I incorporate them into projects (mainly for birthdays)...the other thing I'll do is with graduations coming up I'll pull up different graduations that a friend of mine has a son, daughter, grandson, granddaughter, niece, nephew, etc. and screenshot them and share with different friends/relatives/colleagues as it seems suitable...

[@user-fq6bf1hw3h]

Every single neurotypical who knows me absolutely needs to watch this video! Thank you for posting it.🤩🤩🤩

[@GGdrawings]

I genuinely get so beyond ecstatic when people I care about take an interest in my hobbies! I absolutely adore music and I have a very particular musical taste, and I was soooo happy to find out my friend has the exact same taste in music😆😊

[@Fincci_]

I recently discovered that I'm autistic, and it happened around the same time I started watching your videos. I've noticed a lot of similarities. This has been incredibly helpful for me in understanding myself. Thank you!

[@Shaun_rennycinq]

Omg you have literally just explained half of me. I'm happy to be discovering these details and able to make more sense of myself 😊

[@anon3746]

Helping your partner make decisions through research. E.g. my girlfriend couldn't decide what university course to pick so I researched all the ones she was interested in, researched all the subjects each has, even researched how would transferring work if she changed her mind later.

[@taralynndixon2253]

I so enjoy how you explain autism traits. I’d love to hear more about “safe foods”. Love your videos!

[@mattw-cx50]

In addition to some of the ones you listed I like to show my affection by trying to give advice in solving their problems, whether they ask for it or not. The effort is not always appreciated. I often don't realize that some people just want to vent and be heard and that's all. I love your vlogs!

[@jaybrock2595]

These videos keep on blowing mind! You have an incredible ability to share information, it seems that your just casually winging it, but the critical concepts are really well outlined and relevant amd come across as absolutely genuine.Also you do it with out being boring and it that sets you apart from the rest. Outstanding!

[@moonyfruit]

I've not been diagnosed with either (so disclaimer there) but I suspect I may be autistic with ADHD. Schedules for me are complicated. I like knowing what day and exact time others would like me to arrive places well ahead of time. I don't like do to things spontaneously - including going to the grocery store. Except once and awhile it's like I get SUPER spontaneous and just wanna go everywhere, anywhere all of a sudden, all day long. Otherwise, for me it's like I have an expectation for the day. And disruptions to that expectation, even scheduled ahead of time, are distressing. Edit: Thank you for your videos. I'm in my 30s, and relating to you so much and following some tips you (and other autistic creators) have given have helped me substantially in just a few short months.

[@reginacastro1325]

Hi Morgan! I discovered your channel a couple weeks ago, and I can't explain how amazing it has been for me. I'm not autistic (at least I'm not diagnosed), but I'm diagnosed with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder), and as a little girl I had extreme social anxiety. As an adult, I have suffered from terrible burn out and anxiety episodes, as well as weird social interactions and love communication. Even if we are not diagnosed with the same, I have identified with several things you have mentioned to us, and with these love languages as well.Thank you for sharing all of this, and putting a name or putting words to situations that I constantly feel but I have no idea how to call. Enjoy your trip and be happy!!

[@JoULove]

Oh boy feeling unloved because my love language doesn't match other people's makes so much sense... as a teen i clashed with my mum a lot and I remember specifically asking for someone to put the kettle on so that I could have tea when I got home and no one ever did it...

[@yamiletsoler3464]

I love your fourth love language too! It's just so lovely to see how others care about the details about you, it says how much they care. Looking forward to your Puerto Rico vlog!

[@TigerEgan]

Thank you Morgan! Love your videos! These examples make so much sense. Including the excitement when doing something you enjoy. Have a wonderful vacation.

[@jaybiffle5183]

Thank you so much for sharing about your love languages. I'm still trying to figure myself out and hearing about how you express your love to others has helped me realize more about myself and how I express my own love.

[@JamieAnnInTheWorld]

This was so great! ❤ I loved the dual topic format that ultimately connected at the end. I hope you had/are having a great & safe time traveling.

[@nesrasiti]

Absolutely loved the style and OMG so relatable! Thnx 4 this! And have a wonderful trip!

[@orbis17]

Another great video Morgan. Super insightful as always, keep it up ❤‍🔥❤‍🔥

[@AubeEclatante]

I’m not autistic but I love watching your videos so much. And this is actually very relatable - I don’t know, I think as humans we all have different ways of saying things, understanding things, like I’m always overthinking everything, all the time, and it’s exhausting, and I know sometimes I have needs that people around me just don’t get and I have to explain it, or they have needs that I don’t understand and that I have to accept anyways. I love memorizing little things about people and sometimes I’m like, look, I remembered this, and it means I care about you so please let me know you care about me too… and it makes me so happy when people I love remember those details, they know who I am and they care about me enough to remember it and let me know they remembered… I’m happy you put words on that because it’s something I didn’t really realize and I love learning new things about myself and about others

[@unpetitmort]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience and the things that make you feel loved❤️ its so important to love people the way they need to be loved and if their way is similar to our love language its amazing 🦋🐿️

[@Abejaved]

Can you do a video where you reviews movie/TV show characters with autism and kinda rate how well they portrayed it?

[@morgaanfoley]

That’s an awesome suggestion I will def do that!!

[@sydwashington5703]

@@morgaanfoley Yay!!!

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

good idea, would like to watch that!

[@NevermindHDx]

Oh my god thank you so much! I finally have a short and simple name for it! Parallel play. I remember having such a tough time explaining it to an ex of mine but when she finally got it, I was soooo comfortable when we we're hanging at her place. Not that I wasn't before but it was like a whole new level. Feels good to know a short and snappy name for it. Thanks!

[@dangfd551]

If you told me a year ago that I might resonate with this as much as I do now I would have thought you were crazy! I had a meaningful friendship that ended badly, and couldn’t understand why I’ve been so affected. I never saw how similar we were or why I felt we shared some unspoken understanding that never surfaced so clearly in interactions with most other people. when I came across your videos, I noticed how strangely familiar your experiences of autism sounded to what I noticed unique about my friend and never could notice in myself. Thank you for speaking about your experiences openly, I might not have been able to make that connection otherwise!

[@sciencenotsrigma]

Really cool title and concept! My mom has always tried to help me do things I want to do, or need to do. She doesn’t really do emotional support, but she will surprise me with a bag of snacks in my car, even now that I’m an adult, if I have a big day, ahead. Moms can express care by taking care of people.

[@calling_sparrow]

1. The remembering details love language is one of my most important ones to me. It’s so fun being able to do things with that information but I don’t think a lot of neurotypical people realize that it’s a love language. I know that it doesn’t get reciprocated to me often which I find to be sad. 2. Travel is also one of my special interests and I too am a completely different person when I am traveling. I feel so energized, but it can be exhausting when I get home since I’ve spent so much extra energy during that time. I love hearing about your experiences and perspectives. It’s nice to know that there’s other people out there like me.

[@Zebo262]

That is such an awesome way for you guys to find middle ground and do what you both need as part of the relationship 💙💙💙. You have forewarning, he gets to surprise you 💙💙💙 love that Remembering details, it's a big thing for me too. It's really nice to hear someone else do this too!

[@LukeGaming96]

Great video Morgan! It's very reassuring that I can relate to so many of the things you mention 🙂

[@thej.3039]

Thank you for this. I've read the 5 love languages of Chapman and I was like "ah OK, now I understand". Then I saw your video, read about neurodivergent love locutions and be like "oh, this is what I feel, this is what I do, this is how I love". Thank you for this, it may change my life

[@handlemonium]

Nice & productive retention strategy! Fulling suitcase = progress bar

[@DIYbri]

Loved the video!! As always, thank you for sharing! ❤

[@Aeternus_Nox]

I'm neurotypical, and I had a neurotypical FWB who loved what you described as parallel play. She was heavily introverted, but she felt lonely when actually alone, so she really liked to do things at the same time but not actually doing something together or talking. For her, actually actively engaging would drain her social battery, so it was a way to be able to recharge without feeling alone.

[@wolfgangbudde2737]

Enjoy your trip - nice combo of sharing insights and packing 👌

[@AmyThePuddytat]

This is very insightful. I accepted the whole thing about five love languages, without thinking of these other things which are also vital. Yes, I need to share with others what I think, feel and know. Yes, I am very curious about people and the world, so I want others to share all that with me. Normies seem so cold to me because they are so incurious and actively avoid making those human connections. Love for them mostly seems to mean possessiveness.

[@reneedittmer9625]

I actually do parallel play a lot with people I love, and it includes family members and friends. I also find it funny cause I don't thrive on schedules even though I'm autistic. For me, schedules sound very restricting and I like to do my own thing. Such as times for school, or a set time to do my chores, I don't like it for some reason. I know I should probably start having a routine but it never sticks in my brain. And my mom also doesn't go with a complete schedule either since she's always busy. Most of the time it's whatever we can make do. I respect people who do schedules, but I might forget that they have a schedule. But however, I do respect boundaries and I will never touch your stuff unless if you really want me to and I expect that as well. Also about surprising things, I really love it when people I know are trying to get me something as a surprise but they "try" to lie on purpose. One thing my mom does sometimes when we are out shopping or something and it's close to a holiday if she sees something I like I already know what she's doing and she'll try to "lie" and say something like "Whatttt, nooo, you totally didn't see that" and it's the funniest thing ever. I like those kinds of "surprises". Also about just talking to someone for an hour I will do that to people Im comfortable around and sometimes its like Im not in control of my own voice, sometimes it always feels like my brain controls me more then I control it.

[@reneedittmer9625]

I am continuing my conversation here cause my phone is literally the worst when it comes to type 🙄 Anyway, about the talking thing. I also really enjoy listening to other people talk, my favorite quality time is just talking about anything. I don't even care if it's something we have talked about before already, it's something I really love to do with people I'm comfortable with. And I enjoy it when we are both listening to each other and giving each other time to speak. I do get pretty annoyed when I'm talking but then one of my family members talks over me, because then I abruptly will stop what I was saying. I also enjoy memorizing details about others, like I'll remember the food you like, type of clothes or animals you like. Sometimes it gets really confusing for me though since most people tend to change their responses a lot. Like this one time, I have a friend who was a little older than me and you know that whole "figuring yourself out" kind of thing that most teenagers do? Well she was starting to do that, which I understand is apparently normal. Do I remember once she told me she was Bi, I think and I was fine with it. But then a few days she started saying she was a lesbian and that kind of stuff. I always get nervous when talking about this kinds of stuff, but anyway, those kinds of things really really confuse me. I really like it when people only tell me about certain things they know they love or that they have interests in that they know they will have forever, it helps me to not be so confused. I definitely understand the feeling of others not really understanding you or loving you because of that. My preferred love language is usually with words or actions. Such as me remembering something that you like, or spoiling you with something that I know you would like. I also will always spend the holidays with you, and I never ignore you or anything like that. Holidays are also another big thing where I actually do more communicating and I do more for you than on any other day, cause for me Holidays are supposed to be fun. Those are my kinds of love language. I also love receiving gifts, or small things that I enjoy. It makes me feel special lol, but maybe that's because I am spoiled. I don't necessarily surprise people with gifts, but if I know you're, like, craving something that you've been wanting I'll probably get it for you if I can lol Or if I feel like giving you something I'll probably ask you "hey, do you want anything?" For me, gift giving makes me feel really special and I know when I'm older and I have friends of my own that's more then likely something I would do is gift giving even for no reason. But I would always let someone know, such as on text message. Also, what I consider a gift is just getting me something that I like or have been wanting such as a chocolate bar, or a specific makeup I've been wanting or slime. Some of my family members don't understand that though. I don't mind light hugs, but my memmaw always hugs me a bit too tight and always makes me feel like I have to hug her a certain way? I know she means well, and touching is her love language and I respect that. I don't mind the hugs nowadays, but the thing I dislike the most is when she does the kiss on the forehead. Idk, her touch is just weird to me. My mom's touch is comforting, and I don't mind my aunt's hugs either. My memmaw knows I'm autistic but she doesn't understand it. Whenever I try to tell her why I do these things it's like she doesn't take it into deep thought. I know my Papa does that too, but he's not that bad he just came from a generation of where you did these things and you had to. But this is my preferred love language. I know that one day when I am in a love relationship with someone I will do everything with them and I'll always be there for them and cherish them lol

[@taunyamorson-peuplie6589]

It's actually really nice to hear.Someone's passion come through when they're in.For dumb thing usually it's something they care about and I hear they're joy more than anything else

[@elementonyoutube6556]

I especially Like info dumping. Its incredibly easy to understand and I think most people do it sometimes even unintentionally because of the feeling and excitement. 😊

[@meowsticity]

I just realised my love languages are all of the "normal"/"regular" love languages AND also all of these, so damn

[@mothMOV]

so vaild

[@tabitas.2719]

I think it can all be clustered into the "original five", but it's completely fine and valid to redefine more. 😊 I, personally, love the interpretation that the five languages all have dialects - just because we have the same primary love language doesn't mean we understand each other right away. To me info dumping and remembering (key) details fall under words of affirmation, and parallel play can be quality time, but that might be because I've grown up with the five live languages and therefore just categorize everything that way. I may change my opinion as I think more on it... 😅😊

[@meowsticity]

@@tabitas.2719 I think that's cool actually

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

@@tabitas.2719 nice thought

[@tabitas.2719]

@@meowsticity Thank you! :)

[@ZhovtoBlakytniy]

You put into words and experience something that happened to me but I just couldn't explain. I moved to the country of my special interest and I felt AMAZING! I felt almost like a totally different person. I was almost constantly surrounded by positive stimulation, "glimmers", and relaxing retreats. The only issue I had was crossing busy streets and being invited over for "tea" once and a four course meal was sprung on me by surprise. There were no safe foods besides bread and some pies. I did appreciate the hosts, because that was a kind gesture and it was nice to spend time with them. I felt anxious because I didn't eat much and I was so afraid to offend the hostess who cooked so much extravagant dishes (I mean, this was all food from their garden and livestock they raised). I ate before I left my house because I didn't want to get hungry, had so much business to do that day. :(((

[@LaurenzEdelman]

I have always considered a perfect relationship is where two people can sit in silence and do their own thing. I wasn't aware there was a name for it. Normal love language has been very hard to understand and express, but the explanation of your love language was so familiar, relatable and understandable. Thank you. And I hope you enjoyed your trip 🙂

[@olhalinevych6588]

This is so true! Love your informative and cozy videos❤

[@Traveler246]

These love languages you mentioned here are incredibly informative. A long time ago, around 2005, my parents surprised me with a cruise trip. In the beginning, I couldn't explain why, but I felt so betrayed and was moody for about half an hour. Now I see that I don't like surprises however good they may be.

[@LucasAlemos]

Thank you for your content. My two year old son was just diagnosed and now I can uderstand him better

[@cyberang3l239]

Does anyone else feel like they become clingy, or fixated on people they really care about? I feel like this is something I experience as an autistic person. I resonate a lot with everything you’ve said.

[@katzenbekloppt2412]

Can relate to all of them. But I do also love MAKING gifts, as a more detailed showing of remembering things they have told me, what they like, what I associated with something they told me, wishes they shared, etc. And then I am very often disapointed of what I am given, so I don´t really like to get gifts. Unless they are really thoughtfully chosen, showing someone listened to what I said in the past. I wish You an exiting but also relaxing holiday, Morgan😎!

[@mewintle]

I’m learning so much from this. Thank you!

[@NorbiPeti]

This was really interesting and informative. It also only ever increased my doubts about whether I'm autistic or not, although I'm pretty convinced on the ADHD anyway. I think I like parallel play (I often don't want to interfere with others but still be around), respecting schedules (but I usually don't know other people's schedules which frustrates me a lot), info dumping (once I let myself tell my mom or brother something that really interests me, I cannot stop and I'm so happy), I *can* memorize random details about people, I also like memorizing random details in general. Programming has been my special interest ever since I realized I can make a computer do anything. I get so excited if I can get other people I care about involved with that. I just realizerd that possibly the reason I'm *so* frustrated that people don't understand the coolness of open social media like Mastodon or PeerTube is that I'm so focused on it recently aaaand I'm very likely neurodivergent. I want to share my interests!

[@bullymong1445]

Parallel play, although I never heard of it, sounds really nice. I know that my love language, rather, is "time". If I don't like you, I can't be bothered to spend much time with you. However, friend or family (it doesn't matter who) if I like you I will be more inclined to hang out. It's when I love you that I don't really want to leave your side. If I love you, I will want to spend every waking moment in your general vicinity. I will want to be around you always, and parallel play is often what I do automatically. It gets a little hard to choose when I love multiple people, friends and family. But when I find a partner and fall in love with her, I know that the choice won't be much of a choice anymore because I will fall so deeply that I probably won't be able to help myself.

[@bullymong1445]

I hope she doesn't break my heart when it finally happens... That would suck... And I might not survive that because of my poor mental health and chronic depression.

[@tolstoy21]

Absolutely love Puerto Rico. Used to travel there once or twice a year, but havent been there in a while. Such a chill island. Enjoy.

[@rasmusjensen6962]

Hmm, a new lead, to figuring out my mind. Thanks for uploading this video it explains a few things about my mind, that so far was only theoretic. Huge like from here.

[@Alwayslearnimg]

Remember, though, if we feel like they don’t understand our particular love languages, and they don’t express their love for us using our love languages, it does go both ways. So even though surprises make me anxious, or someone dropping by my house unexpectedly completely tripped me out,it’s the exact same thing for them. They believe that they are showing love in that way.

[@LilMeYT]

Pararell play is sooo great!! Didn't know it had a name but for me it's so precious. I find really difficult to let people in so when I'm with someone I stop doing my own thing to be with them and adjust to what they do in a way I'm not able to continue with my stuff. So when I'm able to let someone in that means they are really special and I really trust them.

[@Rafaela20242]

Enjoy your trip, Morgan!!! ❤ Remember to pack sunscreen! ❤😊

[@mesina84]

OMG the second one I didn't realise it was a love language thing I do this all the time. Thank you for putting words to my actions. 😅❤❤

[@bluesky4726]

Thank you so much for making this video, I am autistic and I can really relate to everything you said. My numer one love language is definitely remembering/memorizing someone`s interest/hobby/likings. Mostly for gift giving💕 ps, the thing you said about you arguing with your mom about grocery shopping, that is so damn relateble. I argue with my mom about that allllot😅

[@danielsac6316]

Me loving you looks like you, doing whatever you're doing and I, getting closer to you and telling you out of nothing “the Egyptians believed the most significant thing you could do in your life was die” (like Philomena Cunk). My mom could have learnt a lot about Latin declensions and conjugations if she had been as interested as me. 😂 Sadly, info dumping got beat the hardest in my masking strategies, since whenever my special interests emerge as a topic, I become exaggeratedly aware not to get people bored of me, so I automatically get silent. 😢

[@ebonyalexis32]

it's super sweet hearing about your partner. gives me hope lol

[@xo_mellyy]

morgan, i just want to say thank you. i am about to get diagnosed with PANDAS, and if you dont know what that is, it's basically autism caused by strep throat. your videos have helped me express to my family and friends what's going on with me, and everything you say is just so relatable! thank you

[@Omegawerewolfx]

I'm an allistic introvert that's hearing impaired, parallel play is awesome. I love it.

[@user-xj8hw7gf8f]

My love language is looking for attention from someone (like playfully annoying them) and touching, I LOVE touching when I really like or love someone

[@Zephyr5236]

6:24 yes!! I will talk about so many things! Infoodumping!

[@angelas.1304]

this was super useful i think it would be great if everyone - neurotypical and neurodivergent - just communicated their needs to each other and with each other because of course we need to love our close ones the way they want to be loved and the way they feel the most loved

[@Illhavetacos]

Parallel play is the best, safe travels!!

[@quelquun6385]

Yesss more vlogs please !!

[@xouat_fanx]

I love your videos❤. You help me alot ❤❤

[@MareaRayneOleander]

I cannot express how exactly me this is! I just kinda went through life thinking they don't feel the same as me about relationships because they DIDN'T do these things! I never stopped to think that the things just never occured to them as things they should be doing. 😢

[@tweeqo7420]

I usually love listening to them, and sometimes talking about my interests. Parallel Play might be the most important to me

[@laurenbyrd165]

I'm autistic, and this hit the spot on; I do all of these! This also made me emotional because I realized during my school years there were so many people I generally cared for and did these things only to become ignored, rejected, and be an inconvenience to everyone, so it made me understand why I'm so dense and shut myself off to others having a very tough shell to crack to get to know me as a defense mechanism from being rejected. Does anyone experience this or have tips for making friends or relationships? I'm so quiet, and whenever someone talks to me, I'm not prepared with a true response, so I give an automated one that seems like I brush people off.

[@MileneB-ev4mm]

I Would love to see more vlog style videos The last one hit me hard I didn’t realize that was a love language but I experience the hurt of my family members forgetting simple things about me all the time

[@whispersbeautyofficial]

Thanks for making

[@alexlamia9946]

I can relate to everything you’ve mentioned, except I love surprises. My partner and I are both autistic. The parallel play one is big for us. But we also talk about random things for hours, but the randomness connects and flows and makes sense to us, at least. My biggest and longest special interest has been vampires. He’s the only one who lets me talk about it for a long period of time. And he’s not the touchy type most of the time, but we give each other head pets a lot to show love/care. It also calms him down if he’s overwhelmed or overstimulated.

[@kawtheral-khalifah6125]

Amazing video❤❤😍

[@zaqwsx28]

This was a cute video. I thougth love languages were universal but they can be so different it can lead to major misunderstandings.

[@christaalvaro5886]

I actually use the main Love Languages, as well as your love languages. Example: I am *very* physical with my friends, like I hug them and fidget with their fingers ideally. But I also love just sitting with them and doing our own thing, cause not only do I not need to use social battery, we both can get stuff done and hang out with each other, so it’s a win win!

[@NeighborhoodOfBlue]

It must be really nice to have a level of financial security and family support to not only not worry about basic needs, but to be able to travel and have it as a special interest.

[@thenerdasaurus3717]

*my god* when you started talking about memorizing details about people-- that shit is SO me. I memorize the faces of the people I love (I draw a lot so that’s also useful for if I ever want to give them gift art of themselves), and I can remember the exact cadence of things they said YEARS ago; MMMMM. yeah. I also never even thought about info dumping as a love language, but it makes SO much sense - particularly with all my communication trauma, because if I’m info-dumping to someone, not only do I want to share a special interest with them, but I trust them they’re not gonna shut me up about it. Other random autistic love language things I do: this might be just another kind of combination of parallel play and info-dumping, but I have a special interest in video games (particularly Nintendo), so I love watching other people play games that I love and helping them go on their little adventure - and it’s a different vibe from multiplayer gaming, which is also fun, but yeah. Sometimes I will even start my own file of the same single-player game in parallel, so that my friend/other loved one and I can go through the game together and strategize things and stuff. (I have an ongoing playthrough of Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn with my little brother where I have my own file - it’s a pretty tough game so apart from it just being to have my own file, it also helps me give him advice about how the enemy/NPC AI and the level behaves, as it were. We’re taking down Begnion together!!!!)

[@comradestannis]

I *love* traveling as well; it's also a special interest of mine.

[@Levent_Geiger_Fan_4_EVERRR]

Ok this is so true as someone who is autistic I relate a lot ❤ Including overpacking I’m going to Spain in like a month for like 5 days and I’ll probably pack like 8 outfits 😂😅

[@noahsiegle1058]

What I'll say is that, with my masking, I actually show love through normal love languages, mainly gift giving. But my main source of love onto people is info dumping, and given I can talk about one topic for quite a while, it's rare I ever do that, but I love it when others share special things about themselves with me. I also used to butt heads with my mom with regards to surprises too, she absolutely loves getting me things I didn't even want, nor needed, and it provokes anxiety in me too. Dad, on the other hand, is actually a lot better about this, and he doesn't do anything unless I am absolutely certain it'll benefit me. As far as special interests go, I love planning events, but again, mom does it instead of me, because she enjoys it so much more, but if it makes her happy, then I'll leave her to do what needs done.

[@user-ji6cq6bc5f]

Me and my boyfriend also do Parallel Play and he loved it at first he kepting talking to me and i didnt mind but really wanted my own time but now he knows the rules. we do it everyday 4-6hours when he's working and I work beside him and we dont talk except if its coffee/tea time.

[@ebonyalexis32]

the talking at one another is so so sooo good. my mom andi be on the phones for hours and its so nice on both sides of a one way conversation. she doesnt kno that spicy brains is why we do this lol

[@thewi2kbug]

Memorizing Details/Referencing comes in handy

[@jazmineabelard3397]

My autistic love languages are also infodumping, memorizing little things about people I care about, and parallel play. I info dump to my mom all the time as well such as my special interests. I always memorize little things about the people I care about and only one person (my bestfriend who is also neurodivergent with adhd) acknowledges and reciprocates it back to me. I also would add pressure play in my autistic love language such as hugs (with consent). When it comes to parallel play, a lot of my family members don’t understand why I don’t try to make an effort to spend time when I feel like everyday I am spending time with them such as simply being next to them

[@stoffij.4058]

I can see that you're really in your element while preparing for a travel.... you're speaking so feely and there's a sparkle in your eyes and you're packing the things while talking about sth different.... I could never do so! Travelling is a big stress for me, i have to find the acurate correct place to go with the acurate perfect fitting hotel or hostel for everyone who comes along, then i book the train or flight and make surethat there's really more than enough time to change, then, very important: i make a big list with everything i need or might need or could prefer to have in case of.... and a list of things to pack in the last hour before i leave the house and a list about everything in the house i must not forget to switch off, empty, or clean up before i leave, oh, and i have a list of sights and activities.... horroble 😂

[@Tierd]

I definitely share lots of these (as an autistic person of course) Parallel play 100%, self expression is an important part of me and me doing my own thing is a form of that, also just the joy of doing my hobbies Someone understanding that I don’t want to be disturbed would be genuinely amazing and would make my relationship 100 times better I don’t have much of specific schedules, but routines definitely, and I want those to be respected too, because otherwise it’s like I am following someone else’s routines and schedules, which to me is just a lack of respect in general Info dumping is a weird one, yeah I do it but my favourite conversations are open ended ones. Ones where both people have a perspective and an understanding on something, where we learn from each other, whether we agree or not, and most importantly, keeping the conversation civilized Unfortunately not too many people are that good at it 😭 Memorizing details about others is another of my love languages I’d say I don’t think about it much but now I realize I do that a lot I definitely have fixations and being able to share them to someone is a really good feeling, especially if they share that interest, but info dumping is good either way And for the more well known love languages.. yeah I don’t display those as much Acts of service for me feels forced a lot of the time so neurotypical people can notice, but it’s not an actual love language of mine Receiving gifts, N O. This is definitely not one for me LOL I am atrocious at giving gifts because it feels forced every time, and I don’t really feel like I need gifts that much perse, the true gift is the person themself, someone who can actually understand and accept me for who I am, and be able to relate as well. If frequent and obligatory gift giving is an essential part of a relationship I am in, there is no relationship, end of story. Physical touch.. depends to be honest. If it’s something like hugging when I am feeling down or cuddling for a good vibes, then that is great Otherwise eh not really Words of affirmation, kind of. Honestly it depends, because if it’s on something I truly care about, or understand, it goes a long way, but if it’s just on something that doesn’t mean too much to me or something I don’t hold much investment in, I appreciate it but it passes by easier Quality time tbh for the most part I have as a love language, being able to spend time with people and just having fun, having open ended conversations, just expressing myself in general while said person with me knows all this that is proper quality time, but also quality time doing our own thing is necessary, aka parallel play That should be balanced imo (but probably like 75% parallel play)