How Do ESFJs Compare To ESFPs?

[@Moana_moo]

My opinion: 1. Tell and ESFJ they can’t do something and they’ll quit tell an ESFP we can’t do something we will want to do it even more 2. ESFJ need approval ESFPs don’t need approval but we need praise and recognition if it makes sense 3. ESFJs are humble. As an ESFP especially growing up i was compulsively bragging now it’s more lowkey but i constantly “show off” 4. ESFJs are vindictive esfps we forgive and forget. Like my ESFJ friend still remembers who did what 5 or 6 years ago i’m like move on “everyone makes mistakes” 4. An ESFJ during conflict will start playing the victim(God knows they do it a lot can’t stand it) as an ESFP during conflict i’m really passive aggressive and do or say things just to piss ppl off(eg my ESFJ grandma told me i am really uncaring lazy and “selfish” and me wanting to piss her off i was like on a very condescending tone:”I’ll let u shine being compassionate and hard working here by yourself while i’m going to watch tv and enjoy being lazy and heartless”

[@xandirkuro4790]

R.I.P. Black Marker we will never forget you! *spends a minute in silence, griefing* . . . *goes to eat some pizza*

[@행복하세요-r7c]

As an INTP I really hate selfish side of ESFPs. ESFJ are not selfish at all. That's the biggest difference between them for me.

[@ArthurHale]

Interesting point of view. On the Briggs test, I scored both ESFP and ESFJ. I guess I am lucky not having the selfish side?

[@paul2609]

It's funny because my grandmother is an ESFJ too and your grandmother acts in the same way as mine, if I'm in the middle of washing the dishes, she insist I stop right now and just leave it in the sink for her to wash even though I am almost done washing it. However, sometimes she "cleans" the house unnecessarily to the point where things can get "lost". For instance, I put out the frozen chicken out from the freezer and let it defrost in the sink, now later she sees this frozen chicken and thinks someone just "forgot" to put the groceries into the fridge, so she puts it back in the freezer. Now I came back to the kitchen and couldn't find the chicken, now I can't cook XD Another example, sometimes I throw my loose change (coins) and keys onto my desk to be sorted later. Now I come back into my room and find all my keys and coins has disappeared, but it turns out she just placed it inside a container and put it inside my cabinet, of course I have no idea where it could be! I appreciate her doing that but things often goes missing (temporarily)... (Drives my mum insane sometimes because of my grandma's behavior)

[@paul2609]

However, my mother thinks this behavior is linked back to World War II where everyone is told what to do and you are expected to do that without being told. Could this be the case?

[@CSJoseph]

It is possible, but I think it is just an SJ thing.

[@mehdihassankhanloo5297]

Yeah, ISFJs are somehow like that…

[@kenzieobrien5366]

Esfp here.. I’m not nearly as community based as some esfj people I know. They tend to “latch” in a way that can scare me. I know deep down that I struggle with letting people in. I try my best to seek people out but the hardest is sticking with people. It’s nothing against them. It’s me. I’ve been burned. I trust myself the most. I love connecting with people on a surface level but I find myself envying the esfj being so caring.. a little too caring .. sometimes I think it’s fake and I just with they’d find meaning with themselves and not others .. but hey they have much better friendships than me :(

[@benaoao6753]

This sounds so much like me. However I’m at a point where I’m not sure that their friendships are anything that enviable. I’m with an ExFJ and her extroverted feeling shows in herself putting her dead last which is great for all those “friends” who are more than happy to keep taking as she keeps giving, randomly has an outburst where she realizes how mad that all is, and then proceeds on giving some more. I don’t want that.

[@milabellaful]

I've never been afraid I was dumb. People automatically assume I'm smart. If anything, I try to downplay it at times. Yes, afraid to be wrong & like to verify i.e. people's intentions.

[@xandirkuro4790]

Thanks for the Video!

[@xandirkuro4790]

If someone wants people to be proud of him, he is a Te user, right?

[@elisabethschlarb3059]

AMAZING lecture! Muchos gracias!

[@blackagentsmith3562]

It's crazy that you say Esfj and Esfp's are the 2nd most compatible people because I am an Esfj and My older cousin is an Esfp and when it comes to Literal physical Health and Mental Health we bring out the best in each other. He helps me from becoming a complete blob and I help him pay his bills. All we do are physically intense high risk jobs that some would say is illegal. We are literally the Sly and Murray of Dallas

[@kristielegge1130]

21:34 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you

[@ilhaui2056]

I'm ESFP and OMG I relate to this part a lot 4:44-5:40 but the way you were speaking just made me go like "is what we doing wrong in some way?" lol..and it isnt easy to change the save face thing, i tried multiple times, it took me huge efforts. Talking about insecurity with what i want yes, I want to take med for the university, and it's something i want so bad..but I'm afraid, sleepless nights thinking if that choice is wrong, should i look for something else? Asking med school students if they regret or something.etc I like the themes of "Forever Young" and "Young and Free"too much and watching your ESFP videos, i can tell why. My teachers always say"she's brilliant, one of the best students, but really talkative". In school, I'm the first but I'm always like ": am i good enough in study? Do i worth that? someone deserve this more than me, someone is smarter than me... in the end, thank you because before i know these details, some of them were really depressing me but now i learned a lot and i can accept them more. ESFPs have a lot of fears (future,past, being enough,people's thoughts, getting old, literally everything .. ) I will work hard on Walking Fearless from now on. wish me good luck.

[@CSJoseph]

Just don't be afraid. Stay courageous and you will be successful.

[@andytheindividual3862]

Does it feel like you cant connect with many people ??????

[@luminyam6145]

Wonderful video, thank you.

[@mrgator9670]

Great video. Especially interesting to me as an INTP because of my ESFJ mother and ESFP brother, who is the youngest if three while I'm the oldest. He's always been incredibly athletic and free spirited, and totally lives in the moment. As a little kid we would constantly lose track of him in public places (restaurants, malls, parks, dentist; anywhere) and eventually find him with family of strangers because he just haaad to show them his toy, or start a conversation, or try to engage another kid, and he was constantly making friends out of strangers (we lived in a relatively small and very safe town growing up, but we always joked that he would have been abducted dozens of times over in a bigger city with how fearless and innocent he was). Also, he HAD to run everywhere, all the time, no matter what. Made him as hard to keep track of as cats made of jello, but to his credit he has grown into an absolutely incredible runner and athlete. Now, even at 15 years old, he still appears adhd by normal standards; he's always struggled to sit still and pay attention. But we all know he's just a wacky kid (at least, compared to the rest of the family). He doesn't think things through so well (Ti trickster) and *constantly* lies when he feels restricted, which is often (ESFJ/ISTJ parents). Generally it's harmless though and he's not a bad person by any stretch. He's an interesting one alright! I've been loving all your videos to better understand my kooky family, I guess that's pretty INTP of me huh? Really looking forward to when you stray from social compatibility and dive into romantic relationships, love your videos!

[@CSJoseph]

It's coming, thank you for your patience, I just have to get the foundation down before I can move into the really fun stuff.

[@evamahkovic5097]

I am still confused about my type. According to this video i am much more an ESFP, just like i originally thought, but i don't need as much freedom, in fact i really need stability and making decisions upfront and asap and i always follow rules, especially any type of law. I also really value tradition and how things were done in my childhood and family. This is what makes me doubt my esfp type. I also care about what others want and need a lot, i love being a caregiver, but only up to the point where my needs are less important. So thanks, this has been helpful but i still think there is a fine line between my S/J trait.

[@RonFlux]

Sounds like an ISFJ

[@caveatlector2022]

If what you're saying is True, congrats, you're an ISFJ who has reconciled with their Mirror type i.e. the type you want to look like.

[@sirbradfordofhousejones]

19:35 very accurate analysis on how we address covert contracts. CANNOT. STAND. THEM. Which is why I never had relationships with xSFJ types.

[@mehdihassankhanloo5297]

That's so sad that ESFPs are not given their needed freedom and, as a result, overcompensate with their Se Hero to the point that they'll literally live their lives like airheads unfortunately. The worse part is that their parents approach like, "I told you so. You should have listened." totally unaware that they themselves have ruined their chances of flourishing…

[@jamillionjay8219]

Interesting. ENFP, ESFP, ESFJ, or even ISFP, INFP?🤔 Description: Outgoing / positive. People person, jokester, ideas but little to no follow through, somewhat emotional, somewhat reserved with personal life & low key - doesn’t over post on social media (as example). Likes to do lists but not a planner, gets backed up on responsibilities but rushes to get it done, knows how to get buy in from others, loyal, wants happiness but struggles to find though exterior always happy

[@andytheindividual3862]

Yeah.. I'm an esfp and i can tell you that my values are not what others think. They used to be.. not anymore though!

[@doctor393]

How did you make such a giant leap in type

[@enraged1584]

@@doctor393 maturity

[@jummah710]

quick question i keep seeing this running them with your videos in correlation to the needs of an ESFJ and them not knowing what they want and me personally being an ESFJ and knowing a few others i find my perspective clashing with your theory as the other ESFJs i know along with myself can be found to be extremely opinionated and desire driven with the other ESFJs i know even going as far as sometimes coming off as selfish so is this is more or less my dilemma

[@milabellaful]

ESFJ I'm very harmony driven & like to provide comfort. I'm very selfless and have had to work on enforcing my needs at times. I naturally think people 1st; wants, needs & desires next because I prefer to enjoy things with people and don't like to experience things w people if they aren't enjoying. If there's something that I really need want or desire that no one else does, then I'll do it at a time when no one is available. I interpret my NE as never running out of ideas & understanding multiple perspectives. Sometimes when making a decision, I examine all possibilities, narrow them down & sometimes need help making a final decision. I think the dumb blonde comes from being initially open to all possibilities. I'm also extremely loyal and protective of people.

[@intj1782]

10:28 - LoL man! That laughter 😂

[@madhurakikla4]

Quick question: I am not sure which one I am. Being honest, I really don’t need that much freedom. I mostly just accept when I do something wrong and apologize for it. Maybe even cry a little if I feel like hurt someone or no one will ever talk to me again. But I am no people pleaser. My answer will be no if I don’t want to do something, like every single time. I am not that organized and will usually follow rules unless I feel like they are stupid. But not so much that will full on go and try to not follow rules. I generally don’t like traveling because I like staying cozy with people I like. And don’t wish to leave them. And I am NOT IMPULSIVE. Like in any possible way. And I really care about people! I don’t think I am self centered?

[@metheus9851]

then what makes u think u are one of these 2 types? there are 14 left

[@jasminzen]

3:20 i think you lowkey look like Charlie Weber (from How to Get Away with Murder)

[@shacar106]

I've developed my subconscious mind quite well, partially because I was married to an extrovert for 22 years. He and I just weren't compatible. I feel like I've always known what I wanted, but that seems to contradict what you said about inferior Ni in the ESFP personality type. I know what I want and it's easy for me to pursue what I want without fear if I feel like doing it. I just have to feel like doing it and it's done. Could the reason why I'm not afraid of what I want be because I was forced to be in my INTJ subconscious for so long by being married to an extroverted man and therefore I am using dominant Ni in order to know what I want? On another note, I find myself feeling guilty at times when I'm in my ego since I've suppressed it for so long to a certain extent. What is nice is that my ISTJ fiance always makes me feel like it's okay for me to be in my ESFP ego. He is very attracted to it. I am finding myself welcoming my ESFP ego more and more since spending time with him. I love the ease of comfort in the dominant Si and Se pairing. It's nice to be able to embrace my ego finally.

[@caveatlector2022]

Please pardon the barge in... Imo, the reason why you always knowing what you want vs. Chase's definition of Ni don't match is because he's wrong about Ni regarding desire. Ni has literally zero to do with what you *"want..."* per se... But it's also not an "on or off" "black or white" topic; context is key. But in general, Ni is about outcomes. Whether or not you subsequently want that outcome is a seperate (albeit not always mutually exclusive) topic. For example, some Ni users say their manifests in the form of random epiphanies... "Aha" insights out of "nowhere." While Ni users also report that their Ni manifests when they're trying to see where something is going, based on what the Se is feeding them. Movie recommendations: 1. Wisdom (Emilio Esteves). 2. Arrival (Amy Adams, Jeremy Renner, & Forest Whitaker). Those are 2 of my favorite examples of raw Ni in action. Bonus: The Game (Michael Douglas); as a converse example of an interesting Ne/Si Si/Ne experience. To close, a lot of ESP's claim to experience anxiety attacks. Some would say that is their 4th slot Ni manifesting; "wait. Oh no... Where is this going!?? 😰" It can look/feel like straight up Paranoia... Which is interesting, because Chase coined Trust vs. Paranoia as the virtue/vice of.... INTJ... Get it? 😀 Of course I'm not free from being wrong... But that's what my experience has taught me. Hope it helps in some way.

[@ilhaui2056]

I've never thought about ESFJs this way! We really do match...+ 😅idk if i can tell this but I've been jealous of INTJ lol...I wished I was one. Now that i knew its impossible I want to have INTJ friends. Because they are AMAZING (to me?). My fav types are INTJ and ENTJ, but idk why i dont like INFJ .

[@kayleewinters8721]

lol I am an intj I'm honored 😂😂

[@Ruthfee]

I’m an ENTP girl with two serious long term romantic options… One an ESFP and the other ESFJ. Who should I go with?

[@CSJoseph]

You are bad at typing. Dont make any decisions till you get it right. Get educated here: csjoseph.life/essentials

[@joshuadoyle7969]

Could you do an intp vs infp? I’m intp and my girlfriend is infp, it would be intreating to see how we compare.

[@joshuadoyle7969]

Btw currently watching intp vs intj on my tv and it’s super interesting as my dad is intj great work

[@CSJoseph]

It is on the schedule, also you sure she is not an INFJ? INTP and INFP is a super rare match up and most people who get INFP after taking the tests are actually INFJs and vice versa.

[@CSJoseph]

you're welcome

[@michelleishappy1770]

can ESFJs and ESFPs become really good friends?

[@CSJoseph]

best of friends and lovers

[@malindaeckert2300]

Ha it's been killing me trying to recall who you reminded me of, Zachary Quinto!

[@CSJoseph]

yep, my celebrity look alike

[@malaakm9709]

Thank you for the great video Put who had the second longest life spam The esfj or the esfp?

[@mehdihassankhanloo5297]

ESFJ (because of the Si Parent).

[@Hoosbax]

You are the first one to say that's ESFP and INTP is a good pairing. Why not but I don't seem how those 2 would click or even meet at first.

[@CSJoseph]

Zoom could you explain your reasoning?

[@Hoosbax]

C.S. Joseph Their function are completely unrelated, and from what I understand that's why they would make a good pairing. But while I would understand INTP/xNTJ in terms of attraction and similar values, I don't see what an ESFP would like in an INTP. The only pairing of that type would be the good old Spider-Man /Mary Jane but that's a fictional one. I could see hero Ti "feeding" inf/anima Ti and balancing each other (INTP/ESFJ) but I don't see how an INTP would communicate with an ESFP, the hero function is the trickster in the other one, there is no common ground. I think healthy and mature ESFP can be refreshing and agreeable to have around (plus ESFP women can be absolutely gorgeous), but when you're before your 30's, I can't think of a plausible scenario where it works.

[@CSJoseph]

The ESFp has an INTJ subconscious which is the source of the polarity for the pairing.

[@diyab1056]

good vid thanks

[@lorealkids1989]

I'm an esfp turned esfj - its interesting.

[@daleaksssgaming7150]

What's first highest compatibility in a relationship?

[@CSJoseph]

what do you mean??

[@mehdihassankhanloo5297]

The Unconscious of the type. (Not always in an intimate relationship though)

[@dallasj22266]

what about those esfj's in the church? Do they become more moral as opposed to ethical?

[@CSJoseph]

No

[@milabellaful]

Exactly! I'd have no problem if the ESFPs would be accountable, avoid group think & be honest.

[@sandradibiaso7316]

Was Whitney Houston an ESFP or an ESFJ?

[@denisesiddon7241]

Esfj Google says

[@hannah_marie97]

Rachel and Monica from FRIENDS are these 2 types!! Rachel=ESFP, Monica=ESFJ

[@denisesiddon7241]

I'm an infp and esfjs are the most lovely people ever. Esfps are entertaining and love them for it but they are way too dramatic

[@aidamalikova8518]

Can ESFPs think a lot about their past and how their childhood wasn’t good enough?

[@CSJoseph]

They can with Si nemesis sure.

[@SantanaBanana47]

my dad does this

[@deedubyarocks94]

“These days...” lol

[@deedubyarocks94]

“People are like, ‘Sight your sources!’ And I’m like, ‘...Plato.’” 😂

[@deedubyarocks94]

*Site??? Oops, idk lol

[@mominairfan2104]

What are you talking about?Seriously?what is this ethos and logo?😂