What Is The Virtue And Vice Of ESFPs? Delayed Gratification Vs. Instant Gratification

[@ireleee]

I'm an ESFP and getting immediate pleasure is actually harming myself I can notice it Thank You, CS

[@fatmaabdelhad1]

My dad is an ESTJ married to my ESFP mom and god bless his soul. He has SO much patience and restraint in dealing with her even when I can't even TRY to talk to her at all.

[@hanalee2128]

This is so accurate. I once got myself into an impulsive relationship with an esfp. I liked him because he's easy-going and funny, but I didn't want to have a relationship with him yet because I wanted to take things slow. However, he kept insisting. It was soo annoying, and I ended up saying yes to him. After a few days, I regretted my decision and broke up with him because I realized I didn't think it through and just went with his flow. So yeah, Se users are fun to be with, but I learned I should be careful bec. they may force me to make sudden decisions which I might regret in the future.

[@theartofbeingyou9875]

Is that an se dom thing to do? I’m an esfp and I feel like others are trying to pressure into relationships that I’m not ready for!

[@paigeheartly8936]

My mom is an ESFP. She’s a great mother and an electrical engineer. Super good at math. This type surprises me with their intelligence. She married an INTP. (My dad)

[@jenahluna9140]

Thank you for this video, these videos on ESFP is like therapy for me. At 33 I am still very impulsive, thank God for my ISFJ otherwise I would probably be living in a ditch somewhere lol he keeps me grounded. Thank God I met him when I was 16 before I could get the chance to really screw up my life. Thank you for making these videos you are so right. At this age I am still trying to mature and get serious and make the right decisions for me and my family.

[@CSJoseph]

grats on your golden pair.

[@GodSaveTheClothes]

Same here girl! I’m an esfp, 34 and I’m married to an isfj. He’s been able to help tame my crazy impulses. I feel like I would have ended up dead if I didn’t meet him because as a 20 year old I put myself in crazy situations.

[@SnoozeTheRecluse]

I wonder if ESFPs would be satisfied with their virtue. Other virtues sound rewarding at first glance, but a "delay" doesn't sound rewarding at all for a movement type. But perhaps it gives them a satisfying wisdom.

[@ceazeushepta8612]

The instant gratification that is so prevalent in immature ESFPs can often be a catalyst for utter chaos, and seems especially detrimental because they make impulsive decisions during childhood/puberty, which can lead to detrimental habits that will haunt them for the rest of their lives. In high school, I've often experienced ESFPs being addicted to smoking, drinking, and partying. It is not until they hit a certain age that they realize how asinine their actions were, but at the same time those same habits are so ingrained in them at that point the destructive effects of those habits seems irreversible. Let's just hope that more ESFPs watch your videos, haha.

[@GoogleUser-wy2vv]

Ceazeus Hepta True in my experience as well. An ESFP i care for is in prison purely because of lack of impluse control not "evil".

[@CSJoseph]

Patience is a virtue that not many seek.

[@knaida9883]

ESFP here. It's possible to come back and rise again from bad habits. Difficult and a long haul but possible. I had a rude awakening when I was 24 and hit rock bottom. That's when I decided to seek help and realized there were a lot of underlying issues I was not aware of. I sought help, and it's still hard, but I am in a much better place now, and I learned to be patient and kind.

[@fatmaabdelhad1]

Dude my mom who's almost 50 got addicted to Xanax a while back when my brother had his med school finals :")

[@theartofbeingyou9875]

Esfp are very vulnerable to addiction, especially drug addictions. I’m an esfp and a civil engineer, I also studied midwifery and delivered a lot of babies . Esfp are smart but yeah intuitives tend to treat us badly , like talking slower because they think I can’t keep up with their abstract ness , I can keep up !

[@Moana_moo]

As a 16 year old ESFP i can tell you i am a pretty good teenager. I am not that “ goody two shoes” but i definitely don’t do drugs or get drunk(i mean i did once and i love to drink the thing is i am quite shy and don’t really have many parties to go at). I admit i am impatient impulsive and want instant result. I do go with the crowd and did try smoking even though my vocal coach completely forbade me because well i sing and my voice still isn’t worked good enough. I only did it a few times as i am really trying hard to keep my voice healthy because well i want to sing. I was willing at One point to give up singing because to become a good one you need years of training not just 1 month or two but i didn’t because as a very passionate human i just didn’t. I did have my period when i lost interest in music and wasn’t giving my best but that period is over...It’s true about making the decision that feels good and seeking pleasure(like singing and performing are for me what are drugs for others) and striving hard for a career in music even though it’s not a safe path. I choose it because i am passionate. Like i gave up a lot of things because i put too much passion at the first but then get bored of it after a few months. I was like to myself “Not this time”.And that Se Hero rage😂😂😂. Come on i still have it. Like i had it when i was little still do.

[@XavierGuillaume]

Wake up call for me! Wow! I am still trying to figure out my type, but this video really resonates with me. The hours and hours I spend playing MMOs and like life is just passing me by. I enjoy it though, but it doesn't get me anywhere. So I got some rare magic armor in the game, how does that help my life? Also, I jump into relationships like no one's business. It is crazy how fast I will enter a relationship after only 1 month of knowing someone. I have made some really bad relationship mistakes. I like what you say of not sleeping with someone unless I am willing to take a bullet for them. That's really good advice! Maybe I am an ESFP. I just don't relate to the "party animal" stereotype.

[@iamvsimon]

ESFP here and this video made me realize how impulsive I was especially in my rltshps. Sex, too lol. I´m going to start working on developing delayed gratification, avoiding rash decisions. It´s all definitely v closely entwined w self-respect. Thanks for your insight. CS!

[@jeremyjean-pierre4977]

Don’t have any personal examples this reminds of the anime One Piece where the ESFP main character gets the ultimate wake up call after consistently being able to win impossible odds until that point.

[@JoJo01300]

Please please please can you do a video on romantic relationships between ESFP Females and ENTP males!!?? We have been married for 14 years and I would love to understand our dynamic and you also have an intimate knowledge of this type of marriage!

[@CSJoseph]

one day

[@michaelvey3978]

These are your most interesting videos thanks Jo

[@aaronalvarez9954]

I know an esfp who was so into instant gratification that it ruined his life. He got addicted to smoking weed eating food and masturbating. It got to a point where he got got kicked out of his house live on welfare and he would still just smoke weed and masturbate because it was the only thing that felt good in his life. ESFPs it’s not worth it to live like that.

[@xxTheSkilletFreakxx]

Me being on my bf's ass about getting shit done NOW instead of waiting.... Literally happened three hours ago

[@joshuamcintosh7706]

My brother is an Esfp and he even takes time choosing his socks💀 he doesn’t know what he wants

[@cherrymarriedindiscord1404]

7:20 I was so into the trip I wanted you to continue forward...

[@beingsomeone201]

Esfp ~ has sub conscious intj(here they are se so much to that little ni and win 80%)~also have entp super ego....they are at least far better than isfp(who wins by less effort by se ni so close never realise before and more dirty things) still esfp always goes where there is more people and not independent, even an extrovert an esfp literally shaken by so introvert isfp threat....SJs usually don’t help, but i see an esfp do whatever nesseary for aim with less dirty things possible (still has this fi ego) But esfp s entp is super cool, helping people 3x

[@cherrymarriedindiscord1404]

I felt it when you said "and the ESFP would even put road blocks...they'll see it coming and OH NO NO NO I did that bad decision why would you do it?" I always thought ESFP are kind of selfish so that clicked in me some compassion and understanding to them

[@paigeheartly8936]

Took your test, found out I’m an ESFP!

[@CSJoseph]

Awesome

[@sandradibiaso7316]

ESFPs spend more money for instant gratification when trying to feel better in an unhappy situation. They do this more often than most other types. I believe ISFPs, ENFPs and INFPs are shopaholics too. ESFPs buy more stuff that sensors would buy. ENFPs spend money on things that are different except for makeup and sunglasses. ESFP females or gay men would spend a lot of money at Bath and Body Works. We are suckers for sales. ENFPs and INFPs would spend a lot of money at Disneyland or Disney World buying the most unique looking Minnie Mouse ears or things that have no use but are different. ENFPs and INFPs would go crazy spending money at Comic Con just like INTPs would.

[@chrishillswrites6442]

so... what is the ENFP then? Aren't they doing the same? They look at how other people have had success, so they try to have success the same way? Isn't it like that?

[@GodSaveTheClothes]

Yes! So accurate!

[@andongfu8326]

11:32 got a job got a car but got no "Vygotsky scaffolding" - after jumping he needed kind elder support. Message me if you want to talk about Vygotsky and the Zone of Proximal Development.

[@CSJoseph]

No thanks. Btw, who is that?

[@andongfu8326]

@@CSJoseph I'm Anton and I studied a little bit of human development. I like your videos and I've learnt a lot about personality types by watching them.

[@andongfu8326]

Vygotsky was a Russian theorist who believed people can develop to higher levels of ability with support.

[@XavierGuillaume]

@@andongfu8326 Yeah, Vygotsky is pretty cool. I am more a fan of Piaget myself though, but I vibe with Vygotsky. :]

[@YumAnna9987]

Ahaha, this video explains a lot of the behaviors my ESFP friend does. They procrastinate in school, using ADHD as an excuse for most of their procrastination and other immature decisions, even though ADHD literally describes the ESFP personality. (Especially since having a mental disorder explaining their actions is more socially accepted.) Maybe they actually DO have ADHD, but they focus so much on instant gratification that they take a baby step and then step back because nothing was happening. I try to push them out of the moment and think about their future and to try and push themselves to wait, to show gratitude to the small things people do for them. They're upset with how angry they can get with Se rage, and I try and try to help them improve themselves and they try for a minute then give up the next. Sorry for my ranting, but I've been trying for years to slap this ESFP awake over and over again but they just get deeper into their depression, saying that they "can't do it. I'm stuck like this forever." Any advice? If not, thank you for reading.

[@CSJoseph]

ESFPs get depressed when their choices are removed.

[@beingsomeone201]

But Esfps atleast try to go with good guys with less ego (cz they cant decide ti absent)

[@NaifRumayli]

Can't wait for the Ento video

[@CSJoseph]

نايف رميلي-NaifRomeli that is next

[@shelseybirch]

Hey! Are the personality types hereditary? Does it run in families? Just because I noticed there’s a lot of nfp’s in my immediate family and notice all nfj’s in my partners family, like I just notice a lot of siblings tend to have a similar type?

[@CSJoseph]

They are not hereditary however they can be nurtural. I have a lecture on this very soon.

[@ScotianSouthy]

ESFP mom, ISFJ dad, ESFP me, ESTJ middle brother, ESFP youngest brother.

[@Moana_moo]

missamadeo ISFJ mother probably ISTJ father,ISTP younger sister,ESFP-me probably ESFJ/ENFJ little sister(she is almost 7 she is very similar to me when i was little it’s just she definitely has more empathy and isn’t that selfish or self centered)

[@theartofbeingyou9875]

Esfj father isfp mother enfj sister and esfp me ! Poor sister!

[@looovee1000]

ISFJ mom, ENTP dad (yes really), ISFJ me, ESTJ brother, ISTJ brother, ESFP sister

[@adencase2.0]

So good

[@tehflooper]

Is a mature ESFP able to be a good partner for any other personality? Even an INTJ?

[@babycakes8514]

INTJs are ESFPs socionics dual, ie perfect match for marriage. Google ESFP dual relationships, but be aware that INTJ is 'INTp' in socionics so don't freak out if they write INTp instead of INTJ.

[@NaifRumayli]

Where is your podcast?

[@CSJoseph]

نايف رميلي-NaifRomeli csjoseph.life/iTunes

[@NaifRumayli]

C.S. Joseph I'm an Android user I can't listen to the podcast, try to use multiplatform podcast app so everyone can listen.

[@CSJoseph]

نايف رميلي-NaifRomeli I neglected to mention this one: csjoseph.life/googleplay

[@KGgirl12]

ESFP here. Married to ENTJ. How can we make it work? I feel like we view & absorb the world around us so differently. We’re always arguing or we’re friends for a short period of time but it seems we need tons of space from one another. Help?

[@lutlla3361]

They dont work i do have esfp sister and i wouldnt understand her and treat her good unless i got into mbti besides that i wont ever have a good talk with her

[@jully1744]

I’m an ESFP... I don’t understand why I’m always late. Can you help explain? Thanks.

[@CSJoseph]

Could be a lot of things, you may not value being on time, especially if being late doesn't affect your reputation. You might just have a bad habit.

[@veronicawagenleitner4452]

Do esfp children etc rely on external validation? Is it bad as a parent when they constantly ask if they are funny or smart etc to agree with them or am I turning him into a little narcissist?

[@CSJoseph]

The latter

[@joevaghn457]

curious...what does "C.S." mean?

[@Entyipo]

Chase Simonis

[@sirbradfordofhousejones]

2:14 never 😂 😝

[@eridanuskelpi3908]

That police man did an aweful job and that worked 😂

[@mamawarriorprincessdaughte797]

😭😢🤦🏽‍♀️

[@theworldofwonder]

Haha esfp becoming a doormat??? Funniest thing I have heard

[@emmaloraa]

It can happen. Trust me! It just might not look like it...

[@darkisfp5543]

it seems like someone is waiting for isfp :]