How fast can you LOSE a life in every Mario game?

In this video I combine my skills of having no life with someone who has lost more lives than anyone I can think of...by seeing how fast you can lose a life in every Mario game.
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▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ About j0rts ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬
Hi there! I'm j0rts, and I like to explore mostly pointless things in video games while playing them in weird, unconventional ways.
Despite my name, this channel has nothing to do with jorts. In fact, I've never even worn a pair of jorts in my life. I just find the word fun to say... j o r t s.
Anyways, thanks for taking the time to check out my channel. If you'd like to hang out with me live, be sure to visit my Twitch channel over at / j0rts
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▶TikTok: / j0rts_yt
▶Discord: / discord

[@j0rts]

These goombas are outta control

[@mcpuncake3244]

Real

[@SMG4i]

yes

[@Comagold]

G00MBA

[@ozzmarwars4546]

LETS GO

[@Defender1876]

i think instead of u resetting in the lost levels u should of just ignored the paratroopa and got the poison mushroom

[@Introbulus]

We gotta get revenge. How fast can you *take* a life in every Mario game?

[@IAmAbsoluteLAD]

You mean how fast you can *murder* in every Mario game

[@Introbulus]

@@IAmAbsoluteLAD Yes basically.

[@Lolbit3cl1pse]

All for it

[@afrozeneagle]

Let’s roll

[@chapter4and5]

@@Introbulusor the opposite, how fast can you kill a enemy in every mario game?

[@JrIcify]

People often point out that Bowser goes way too easy on Mario, sending pathetic goombas to kill him and making the lava pits too small. But in the majority of timelines Mario dies and never faces bowser.

[@theslumpis2363]

These goombas deserve a promotion for being able to speedrun killing Mario

[@stray1239]

a raise? but they're the masterminds...

[@JJ_R]

Nice to see the Goomba getting a spotlight in one of these videos.

[@louie.kazooie]

I instinctively started reading this in the Hotel Mario voice lol

[@cravonomire9971]

Its funny how you somehow gained a life instead of losing one in Mario World

[@simonn2045]

1:34 is pure reflex for us all

[@TheBreadPirate]

Finally, Bowser's army is doing their job.

[@UslessAnims]

FINALLY

[@av8063]

Yes ❤

[@RenardioMFG]

0:12 I know someone who has lost more lives... the Geometry Dash Icon

[@NoobyNoob0102]

I knew I'll find a comment like that

[@VERYCOOLMONKEYVR]

No the stick man on the road signs

[@YoshiCHEEP]

@@VERYCOOLMONKEYVRhes technically not shown dying

[@izzybellyyy]

Mario games always seem so simple and easy and then you die to the first goomba

[@AnaatthiGozo]

Over time I've come to appreciate just how much faster it is to get to the action (and your first death) in older games

[@Azurious]

Is it really losing a life when you know exactly where it was thrown away

[@Robertohr18]

How fast can you touch Zelda in every Zelda game?

[@lindseylindsey9200]

Link’s Awakening moment

[@fuckthisstupidasshandleshit]

Never, because Zelda isn't real.

[@Egoo02]

You should try some of these challenges with Kirby games! Like getting a life and whatnot

[@sonicthehedgehog23145]

bro getting a life in kirby is so easy actually wait it depends on which game your playing if ur playing like magalor epilogue or return to dream land then that does not apply

[@LeetTron5000]

Jfc the drowning deaths are actually pretty nutty to see in the kid friendly mario series. Held nothing back with the animations, gruesome.

[@sonicspeed12thehedgehog51]

0:04 Goomba

[@izaiahvrgame]

goomba

[@Nikit3397]

SNES

[@youtubeuniversity3638]

How quickly can you touch A Friend in every Mario? How quickly can you touch Authority in every Kirby? How quickly can you touch Air in every Metroid game?

[@mustacheman529]

Technically, Samus is most likely always touching air, as long as her suit is working.

[@fuckthisstupidasshandleshit]

What friends are in Mario 1?

[@elleenoel512]

You should do "how long does it take to max out your wallet in every Zelda game." That one would be pretty long, but it could be fun.

[@KarlsGB]

I think you can lose a life faster in SM 64 by going to a wall, make a triple jump into it, wall jump and do a ground pound at the peak of the jump, that way you take fall damage. Repeat four times and you are dead in the castle grounds.

[@csolisr]

Fun fact to see this video, Death% is one of the most common alternate speedruns around!

[@HarleyMaebry]

I too am going to lose a life to the Super Mario RPG remake. So hyped for it!

[@nabo9363]

Sorry to inform you, but that enemy in galaxy 2 at 4:08 is not a goomba. It's a Galoomba, they're different.

[@KailynnKat]

If we're being nitpicky then at 1:18 that's technically a Goombo, which is a variation of the Goomba, but not an actual Goomba itself!

[@jessicabrauman]

That sliding guy in Super Mario World was my mortal enemy as a child. Lost so many lives to it.

[@alexleo-wolf4339]

"you dare bring light into my lair!? You must die!" - ganon, link: the faces of evil.

[@Voi359]

Now you just need to touch life *get a 1-up*

[@LarryAcker-nm2vn]

You forgot super Luigi U, Wrecking crew, Donkey Kong, Mario Bros. (Arcade) and Mario’s Time Machine what a shame. 💀

[@koopaking5126]

Now after touching Death, comes Money!!!

[@MAKgargos]

I travel back to 1994 after the Mario movie already exists. I explain to people that in the future year 2023 on the internet (what is the internet???) there is a channel, like a videocassette, but you don't have to leave home, like watching TV, but videocassette, but without leaving home. There's a channel that makes funny videos about Mario. Yes, this is the future. And that humanity is dying out because you, which means us, so we didn't listen to the scientists back then. Well I did and do, but I'm not the mass of people. Somehow that also fits the morbid theme of the video. The end is near.

[@carloscalaca9187]

0:40 All we had to do is jump to that damn cupa, mario

[@louie.kazooie]

once mario wonder comes out, I hope you make a compilation of how fast you can do all these things in that game!

[@ljgameplay22]

I wonder where Hotel Mario would be on this list.

[@FxN-xy8ob]

complete mario without touching goomba

[@marrassek]

1:33 when muscle memory kicks in

[@DoctorSpacebar]

Should I count this as touching Ghost (since you die) or touching Ground (because you get buried)? Either way, that's 5 types touched, 13 types left!

[@chaoscasserole5990]

I think this should count for Ghost since you're technically touching Ground whenever you're... well, Grounded. If that's not enough for Ground though, then Ground could be an underground level or something

[@Emmo76]

Could easily cut 30s out of Mario 64. You can get ontop of the castle early without the cannon and there's a small area you can ledge grab that'll insta kill Mario. Or if you want to do glitchless (Getting on top of the castle I would consider "tech" not a glitch, the same way you claimed lakitu skip is a speedrun strat) you can triple jump wall kick ground pound off the tower on top of the castle for fall damage

[@EbonySaints]

Super Mario Bros 2 is so hard that even deliberately killing yourself to the first Koopa takes skill.

[@Mozzarellaisthebestcheese]

*TOUCH AIR IN EVERY MARIO GAME.*

[@Mozzarellaisthebestcheese]

Oh god getting the bold text right took 4 edits I’m kinda dumb

[@epp678]

0:30 Other Than The First Motobug In Sonic 1

[@MattCraftDotDerp]

I love that you showed multiple options for this one, showing which method would actually be faster between a couple initial ideas.

[@mannyplayz3091]

Mario hasn’t took as much pain as the average 3 year old that plays roblox

[@93Panda93]

4:35 smh didnt spinpound roll cancel to land on the guard rail and buffer a spin pound to quickly jump into the pit.

[@sirglitchalot911]

Yeah can't believe he didn't do that it wouldve been a whole 2 seconds faster and its only way harder

[@Orangisdum]

You forgot one more person who suffered more deaths than mario. The geometry dash cube

[@jameswallace3439]

3:52 That's one spicy meatball-a.

[@boxysnook5647]

I thought yoshi had the most deaths

[@t.s.s.8342]

Boy oh boy, your videos literally are to die for (RIP Mario)

[@slayqueen329]

thx for testing the gardrails now i know not to jump off a cliff😁

[@deusexvesania1702]

Go touch grass! -> Touches grass Drink some water. -> Jumps into water Get a life! -> Literally gets a life ??? -> Loses a life ... I wonder what the incentive might've been this time.

[@youtubeuniversity3638]

Probably a statement that'd get a comment reported quite a bit...

[@csolisr]

Something whose abbreviation rhymes with Guilty Gear's Ky Kiske, that's for sure

[@francescodeleonardis7621]

For this particular challenge, it would be interesting to include donkey kong and mario bros.

[@TheCasualGM]

Touching money could be another challenge you can do in these games :) Also jeez for being the easiest enemy Goomba’s are also apparently the deadliest

[@karlispovisils5297]

I'd be curious how long it takes to touch death in other Mario RPG series (Paper Mario, Mario and Luigi, Mario + Rabbids)

[@bluemushroom64]

idk about saying death is the greatest fear in humanity, that goomba from the orginal mario bros movie is pretty scary

[@gravityUTube]

Thanks for this, because of your video I decided to buy Super Mario Land instead of my originally planned Mario Galaxy

[@Emoji559]

Mario trying to kill himself non-stop is something I never thought I would see

[@VofficialChannel-vg4it]

So basically this is Mario being Kenny from South Park for 5:26 minutes

[@chanceForNotBeingRapper]

speaking about instant death, i love it when big bass fish in smb3 eating me up😅 the drawn sprite itself just looks so socky

[@gragogflying-anvil3605]

In SM64, I'm sure it's pretty fast to climb up the castle roof on the right and die using the out-of-bounds ledge grab in the very corner.

[@austinmartin2927]

Might just be fastest to climb up a tree, handstand, jump, take fall damage, repeat a few times.

[@AlexB-W33gee]

One of my friends was trying to do this challenge, they never told me how fast it took them though. ☹️

[@Niffian]

Good job, mate. I am thoroughly impressed.

[@TheEndShadow123-CEM]

I think I might know two more video game characters that I have felt more pain and dad then Mario starting off with the walnut from plants versus zombies and probably the one video game character who has lost the most lives, and there has been most fails henry stick man from the Henry Stickman collection 0:28

[@boy1015]

How fast can you get a sword in every zelda game just a thought...

[@bingus1803]

0:34 “this enemy has claimed more lives than anything else ever” Spike from geometry dash: bruh

[@Justanormalblackscreen]

It’s funny, whenever I try to avoid the paratroopas, they kill me, but when you try to hit them, they kill you.

[@a_fudo]

Jorts teaching eveyrone.... Goomba= serial killer

[@MawileMage]

I like how we've just completely given up on these being actual optimal numbers.

[@YaSheNePrydumav]

Cool but how fast you can open/close a door in every Mario game (INCLUDING Hotel Mario)

[@bezoticallyyours83]

SMB-Those damn cheep-cheeps on the bridge can still get me. SMB2-i still miss jumps in 5-1. SMB3-Big Bass will occasionally eat me. SMW-Reznors!!! >:\/ YI-Goonie Bird Flight. 😑

[@bendysans1473]

1:32 XD when you fail so hard at losing a life you gain one instead

[@jennykelm8414]

I'm gonna say how fast can you spit out things in every Kirby game

[@weee-p1g]

instead of phycopathic murduring gumbas it should be phycopathic suicidic mario

[@PeaNUTFERRET]

the goombas are literally the embodiment of death

[@brynshannon6692]

j0rts is trying to discover the true elements and become the real-life avatar by throwing everything at the wall and seeing what sticks.

[@유튜브의방랑자]

SOOOOOOO now Nathaniel Bandy's probably writing the scrite or playing mario games for 'avoiding death in every mario game' ''I'm allergic to DEATH. So today I am gonna try to beat all of the mario games WITHOUT DYING. If I die, I have to start that game all over again. Now let's get into it.'' -says Nathaniel Bandy

[@ne0arrow]

Im so glad someone else considers Bowser's Fury to be an actual Mario game

[@KomodoDragonLover]

How fast can you touch money in every Mario game?

[@Mini3x3]

Wouldn't it be faster to clip out of bounds in the sm64 castle courtyard? (Maneuver to top right area of caste, hang off ledge behind wall, lift yourself back up from hanging, die instantly?) The trick can be pretty tricky to pull off, though.

[@Mini3x3]

Or are glitches/exploits not allowed?

[@Sofo274]

Well, maybe the goombas were the biggest fear after all

[@SpeedySonic2.0]

Alr fine you’ve done air,fire,grass,water,life and death But now ya gotta touch some rock ,some stone ,some 🪨

[@j0b1dS]

How fast can you get a sword in every zelda game

[@StarTheTripleDevil]

Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Games Tokyo 2020 still beats all of those by a good 114 days. It's called the COVID strategy. All you gotta do is cause a pandemic which will then result in the timer's start getting delayed by exactly 364 days, which is enough to push the total time taken to reach death into the negatives.

[@ElBlocko]

For Mario RPG, would it be faster to skip over all the initial Terrapins and let the battle against the 4 wear you down more quickly?

[@YouW00t]

It's kind of surprising that Super Mario RPG is third to last compared to both Galaxy games and not just by some slim chance but by 20 seconds.

[@Thiagoreimer841]

I love this type of videos

[@Lolbit3cl1pse]

Never realized mario games were so deadly good

[@sambeckettcat]

I chose to do a Koopa death counter and I counted 3 Super Mario 2 (Lost Levels) Super Mario World Super Mario RPG

[@witherkiller0921]

Bit of fun fact for y'all, I think I can connect the line between the creatures name and reality: the hungarian equivalent of shroom is called "gomba", which is similar to Goomba (they also have the same spelling pretty much) and the creature is maybe a bit like a shroom, so that could be an explanation

[@littlefiddlesticks]

From get a life to lose a life. Humanity has come so far

[@StepheonRobinson-t7n]

Now you must touched quicksand

[@gamewizard2008]

So, you included Mario RPG, but still not the Paper Marios?? Super Paper Mario would've been really creative because you can Game Over by refusing to undertake the quest in the opening cutscene! And in TTYD, you just die by repeatedly jumping in the water at the start of the game!

[@wolfranck7038]

In SM64, wouldn't it be faster to do a LBLJ, enter Bowser 1 and jump into the void ? Well it requires an LBLJ lol

[@professorcube5104]

You should do one where you touch a coin in every game

[@nowymail]

Super Mario 64 there's a faster way. Climb a tree on a slope and do the high flip jump towards the lower part of the ground. Needs to be repeated several times, but may be quicker than drowning.

[@talenstout8324]

It’s your falt for jumping over the gar-rails.

[@KomodoDragonLover]

What is the deadliest enemy when it comes to Mario games?

[@EdwinThompson-w5z]

please do mario wonder and re-upload this

[@EGarrett01]

You can die faster in the earliest NES games by doing a fast acceleration at the start.

[@catakuri6678]

How about: How fast can you touch Peach in every Mario game?

[@Baggytrousers27]

Assorted goops is the new exotic butters.

[@AndGoatz04]

3:18 peach has a crown and mario can't land on it

[@ERYK2109]

like you said in the intro: GOOMBA

[@ajmass02648]

How about trying "how fast can you beat the first level in every Mario games", or "getting the first weapon/tool in Zelda's"?