How to Be Kinder to Ourselves

[@cpsaleemyt]

Just realize that nobody thinks about you as much as you think about yourself. It is not because nobody cares about you. It is simply that they are also busy thinking about themselves !

[@leilacalliope1986]

thank you 🥺💛

[@waitno1963]

Well said.

[@sineadcampbell5147]

I think that's where the problem lies with me. I'd like someone to think about me more than themselves for once, like I have done many times over. I'd like to think that one day someone will want to think about what I might want/need/feel before their own self (to a degree). Is that wrong to think that way? Or just part of falling in love?

[@edithtea9477]

@@sineadcampbell5147 I don’t think it’s wrong as long as you are also worrying about them to the same degree. Then that’s love because you are mutually in tune with the other needs. So for instance, you won’t let your partner sacrifice his or her needs all the time for you. Because you care that his or her needs are met too! It’s a balance.

[@teresajohnson1352]

Actually, there are plenty of exceptions to that rule: most average mothers think about other far more and first than thi ki g about themselves, even if others do not notice about it...

[@emannuel8203]

Im crying because i'd always treated myself so miserable and so horrible that loving myself seemed impossible. But i've been learnig how to treat me like a friend, supporting and loving me with honesty and safety. Im a human, its impossible to be perfect, i deserve all the love, opportunities and good people that came and will come into my life.

[@DrakeHDxgaming]

Manifest it my friend and self compassion will derive to your doorstep

[@citygirlingraham]

Therapy helped me understand why I feel the way I feel. My inner voice is so toxic .

[@pretenuille5635]

you DO deserve what you say you do. with that thought in mind, you're amazing!

[@shebalimmugs7896]

❤

[@karenkgsh6922]

🧡🧡🧡🧡

[@TheSonOfPlato]

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle that you know nothing about” -Plato

[@cpsaleemyt]

We have a saying - Everyone is trying to do their best, as best as they can ! So be kind to everyone , including oneself !

[@100schlingensief6]

@@comprends2138"wikipedia" okay you're grade is -D

[@Babsza]

@@comprends2138 Wise words anyway.

[@BeKindToEveryKind74]

I used to think that was true. Not I'm not so sure.

[@TheSonOfPlato]

@@BeKindToEveryKind74 what makes you say that?

[@Gabesssz]

I don't think you guys understand how much I needed to listen to this today.

[@videogamescausentviolence5717]

same

[@chetnasingh2816]

So there's at least one person who understands.

[@cayden1314]

We all do

[@MukamiWNjeru]

There, there.

[@coolpfpbut9505]

You're right I don't

[@peppymia]

"People who commit suicide aren't those for whom a few things have gone very wrong. They are people who have encountered some otherwise survivable reversals against a background of fierce self-hatred." - Spot on!

[@youtubename7819]

I gotta say, I very much disagree. For a lot of people it’s not just “a few reversals”- many people have had the experience of being consistently abused their whole life, from their conception until the time they decide to quit. I’m not saying they should kill themselves due to that, just that this video really minimizes and gaslights those individuals whose lives are SO dark that it’s truly not just in their head. These situations sadly aren’t uncommon. To see a realistic example of the ordinariness of this experience, please see the film “welcome to the dollhouse.” Its honestly a great movie with fantastic acting that’s not just a miserable drag for the audience. It shows the plainness of abuse of people you probably didn’t even notice in your life. (Not your fault, of course.) We only find out in a later movie in the same cinematic universe that the first main character actually kills herself between movies, and it’s just quickly brushed aside, because that’s how the character was always treated.

[@angelacoleman6580]

wish we could all save those poor souls... they could just as easily be us.

[@lolizorz]

"When we panic and feel intensely anxious about the future,we need to remember that we are,in essence,worrying about our fundamental legitimacy and lovability.Our survival depends on a swift mastery of the art of self compassion" That's deep.

[@trinaq]

"We accept the love we think we deserve." That's so poignant and true, since many of us are so incapable of loving ourselves, that we end up in toxic relationships. 💔

[@faythe03]

@Hayden Spencer Definitely too real!

[@citygirlingraham]

This is a very true statement, I left a marriage because I was being emotionally abused and it was worse than being physically abused. 8 years later I’m still trying to heal from the toxic marriage.

[@omeimakh6758]

@@citygirlingraham sending you love my dear, I can relate to you and I know how much it takes to heal from emotional abuse, please take good care of yourself and know that you are thought of💛🙏

[@sumeraginox8117]

...or just end up utterly alone.

[@Summersloth1482]

@@sumeraginox8117 which is better

[@ellerose9164]

That's my motto: if you treat yourself like you would treat your best friend, than you always have a friend with you🥰

[@elizabethmedeiros7988]

Thats awesome

[@1s11]

Amazing

[@torreygreen6794]

I hate the term self-hatred. It isn't self-hatred, it is internalized negative messages that have become a part of us after years of poor treatment from others.

[@JustJessee]

Except for some of us, it really REALLY is self-hatred.

[@jubbetje4278]

It is anticipation to what you're used to happening

[@Abraham-gf1oi]

@@JustJessee You missed the entire point of his post

[@erobinson5134]

In turn, we start believing these negatives...

[@Georgia.J]

Sometimes it us self hatred I'm afraid if you can't forgive your own past actions. Although it is often the example you have given too, which is ultimately much worse ad there is zero reason to hate yourself if you have just been a victim of extensive poisonous bullying

[@homerlol9058]

I often feel that, I can only stop my hate for myself once I start living alone. When I have my own space, free of people, of their judgments and perspectives, because I feel a strong obligation to respect theirs and not my own.

[@frichickenishqua]

I had a tough home life and when I finally moved out for the first time 2 years ago I felt so much self love. I developed rituals of self care and compassion and I was in control of my own thoughts and judgments about myself. It’s very freeing. You’ll get there one day and until then stay strong. ❤️

[@nabieladrian]

I love the fact that when i was only by myself, i no longer need to fight with something outside my being that disguised as part of "myself". Do it once, you would never come back.

[@CcOo548]

I feel the same way too, can't wait to start living alone.

[@rrreakiro]

that didn’t work for me i definitely became closer to myself though, got clearer vision as for why i don’t like myself or maybe above accomplishments are just part of adulting, idk

[@chergosolo5513]

This is actually true. i purposely find a job far away from my family so that i can live alone. I live alone now & have the freedom to do whatever i want without judgment & clear my mind & i started to learn how to love myself. Stay away from housemates & roommates too cos they might be toxic to ur mind. But then make sure u did not live ur life in total isolation without friends etc tho. That might be harmful too.

[@snehasimon9044]

After 23 years of living, I caught myself yesterday, criticizing myself for simply being me. I am sensitive, and that is who I am. I realized that I beat myself up for being sensitive. Even though being sensitive is what makes me. I realized I would never say the things I say to myself to others. I deserve my own kindness.

[@sanujgoyal622]

A bad childhood seriously damaged the ability to love myself. Though I have a long way from absolutely hating myself to learning to listen to crying child within me, but still I have miles to go.

[@bellewells2099]

Take a deep breath be happy with what you have achieved and you can improve!

[@iolanda04]

Oh poor baby...💔

[@maxsupersong]

You are not alone here. I had a bad childhood in school. Since then I hate myself. But now I choose to learn to love myself. I know it will be a long journey, but we have to try!

[@tarikay93]

Being rather judgmental towards myself almost all of my life, after breaking up with my girlfriend I experimented total self-acceptance for a week or two. Whenever I began to criticise something about myself, I produced a counter-thought and said to myself: "that's okay, you are not perfect, but you still deserve the love for yourself". My thinking was that I was trying to love people without even loving myself. And that was slowly crushing me. By the end of the experiment, I was overflowing and glowing with love and Joy. It was incredible. I was only loving others as an extension of my self-love, without stopping. Unfortunately I fell into the same old rut and thought patterns but I saw the impossible turn possible. I will do it again and again and again, until it overtakes my life :) Enjoy life!

[@KevlarKoat]

Know that increasing your emotional self-awareness reduces the chance of falling in that rut, good luck :) I've read endlessly about how replacing our automatic negative thoughts can make life not just endurable, but wonderful. I wish I had firsthand experience with it, but I don't need it, I believe in it and I'm entrusting my entire future in it

[@KevlarKoat]

Update: Doing youtube therapy for my abandonment has been life-changing, I've been getting "attacks" of euphoria and self-appreciation I've never felt before, I'm finally starting to love myself. I'm going to commit to doing those negative self-talk counter arguments, I just couldn't believe them at first and had to be convinced by other videos that I was worth it, now I'm ready! Life is getting colorful (dopamine) and my hope is getting stronger. Not being depressed is something I've never really felt before, I'm aware of the fact that It can all come crashing down, but I'm not as afraid of the future which means a lot to me!

[@DudeOfTheWeek]

@@KevlarKoat I am so happy for you and your progress mate! Would you mind sharing what videos worked for you?

[@KevlarKoat]

​@@DudeOfTheWeek Sure! This video cleared up a lot about what to expect on the path Teal is very spiritual but a definite savant about these things kzbin.info/www/bejne/sIKrp2prls2MerM Psychotherapy if you lean more towards selflessness kzbin.info/door/J7PZaSv1V6yJbj5y35jp_g In depth explanations of everything narcissism kzbin.info BTW The best habit you can have is to google what you're stuck on and watch a video on it.

[@ConorFenlon]

You have no idea how much your comment means to me. I owe you.

[@amanyrana6900]

Something that lead me to self love was compassion for my younger self. How strong and lovable I have been all along, to realise and accept this. To become a friend of my own at last. And then your world changes once you see yourself as a friend.

[@actuallybusiness1622]

*Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday!!*

[@carmkizzle]

Not only does the channel itself provide excellent, though-provoking content, but the comment section is always super positive. It really is refreshing💙

[@pagethreemodel]

I was talking about this only yesterday. When all you've heard your entire life is 'you're hopeless/a fool/you have no common sense', the act of actually being kind to yourself and treating yourself with the affection and tenderness you didn't receive from your care givers (or others), is completely foreign, if not outrageous. I'm trying. It's something that will take time to master but I know that it is important.

[@ikeepcoins388]

Period bro , it's hard to learn in the first place but soon it won't be so foreign.

[@rosettesionne9139]

A psychologue once said, "we deserve respect no matter what we do or say and our wrong doings should never be an excuse for others to treat us poorly but to help us learn and grow as a person". I am applying this philosophy. We are human and we are bound to make mistakes wether we like it or not but our mistakes are never free permission for people to abuse us because they are not better than us. If it can help you, each time I experience abuse from others no matter what I do, I ask myself "If you cannot help me learn and grow from my errors then I don't need you in my life period" and I cut them off completely. Criminals when they commit minor crimes have the possibility to be given a second chance in court and judges don't abuse them for their wrong doings why can we not have that right too?

[@iliveinsideyourhouse3943]

Now, I know why I always hated myself, after years of people treated me likes I'm a complete useless, I treated myself as a complete useless too. But I'm glad I'm in a better company now. I hope everything goes well for those that's have self hating problems.

[@edenhoneyy]

I feel this too. It hurts to be accepting of the pain we went through and the dialogue we had engrained in our minds

[@zoraydavieira890]

I say to those who treat us negatively, shame on them, regardless if they were treated the same way to! We constantly need to grow for the better always...

[@elizabethk3238]

Don't think I am loved much... and that's okay... We are all really alone in the world. I like who I am, in all my imperfections. Took me a long time to get here, but pleased that I have. I'm okay, and that's all I need.

[@Olivia-zb1vh]

I am so happy to hear that you have come so far and to this realization. I may not know you, but I'm sending you my love and can relate.

[@andreeadinica1752]

ily:)

[@eclecticstatement3479]

Can’t wait to get where you are. This is exhausting...

[@ammoniaburns4846]

How did you get here 😔

[@aurora_boketto7746]

I feel the same way sometimes. I love you tho, never stop believing in yourself! You are never worthless or unlovable, I'm truly proud of you for getting there!

[@StarlightShooting]

"There is nothing inevitable about self-hatred." That hit deep.

[@RicardoJPosada]

After a bad breakup I needed this, time to be nice to myself.

[@bernardofitzpatrick5403]

Hang in there bro

[@EclecticTingz]

💕🤙🏽

[@lllimn]

That's cool. But don't wait until anything bad happen to love yourself. Love yourself in every moments of your life. May you be happy all your life❤

[@michaelnguyen3159]

Same here

[@euchrideucrow1970]

The hardest work I’ve ever done was finding my way out of self loathing. It continues to be a daily battle, and probably will be for my whole life. That demon doesn’t vanish, it keeps growing back, the dark ivy of the psyche. But it is wonderful to be in the battle, to think myself worthy of fighting back.

[@kevo45601]

can you throw me some other materials you are using in this battle?

[@nin9740]

I've been suffering from my mental illness since I was a kid, and now I removed all my social medias for the betterment for myself. But in my mind I can't help but to think how my friends think I'm selfish and stuff like that. Good thing I saw this vid, a great reminder to be more kinder and make me feel human.

[@liubov6750]

It really works when you stop devouring yourself your life gets better. The most difficult part is to recognize that you ve been hurting yourself all the time and you need to STOP. Meditation helps here too

[@tracywilliamsliterature]

That's me in a nutshell... but I am in a process of recovering these days... rewriting the programming I was given in childhood is a monumental task... I didn't even know I had internalized mother's psychotic voice until I was around 35 years old... suicide was one of my obsessions... these days I meditate and talk my fears out... when the compulsion to self torture comes I know where it is coming from... this is no mean feat but I am almost 50 and getting better every day! Best wishes to all of us and thank you for this upload.x

[@camez2345]

Yay! So glad you found your groove. I have a similar situation, fervently chipping away at it all at 50. It's hard, although the more I stay vigilant and practice, the easier it is to question and discard the horrible, self-defeating thoughts. Constant work, but it's the most important work there is.

[@presidentxijinpingspoxdoct9756]

@Lilia murah you display the self hatred of a Muslim

[@millionaireincents1951]

This is really hard if you grew up with toxic uncaring parents

[@Nour-mx3uu]

So true

[@lazydawg27]

story of my life! little by little I'm progressing in loving myself

[@mikegraham9095]

This one hit me right here. I still to this day as a 23 year old experience my toxic parents. My father is always angry and negative bringing me down. It’s terrible for my mental and his anger is starting to rub off on me. I hope to some day finally be free of these negative and self hating thoughts. For now I don’t truly love myself

[@ishan599]

i was thinking about this while brushing my teeth just before

[@trinaq]

That's true, this channel must be a mind reader!

[@lisawoodie173]

I've been thinking about this for days. I've been so nasty to myself. So hateful. It's time for us to be kinder. We are our closest friend.

[@ishan599]

@@lisawoodie173things will turn out okay lisa, keep putting in the work aye!

[@frndlyxenon1974]

@@lisawoodie173 You can do it, lisa! Even if feels fake ..its just the new feeling where we arent our hypercritical selves. Just remember that it is not. You're learning the better way to be with yourself. Sending good vibes your way. :)

[@havvanurcagatay3102]

Omg exactly the same

[@jarcau_vegan]

Whatever you feel, think, say or do, you always deserve more love, not less. ~Matt Kahn

[@teahgurl]

I burst out crying bc I am Not kind to myself bc most of my life, people were not kind to me.

[@TakeBackYourMind997]

Thoughts are created through a whole cocktail of influences and then presented to your mind, most of us just accept what's presented to us. But the truth is, you are the final authority when it comes to your thoughts. You get to decide whether you believe them or not, whether you give them attention or just neutrally observe them as they enter and leave your mind. You design your inner world, make it a nice place to be!

[@coolpfpbut9505]

I'll try my best

[@TakeBackYourMind997]

@@coolpfpbut9505 Hope it goes well for you:)

[@citygirlingraham]

Omg, your awesome, thanks for this....

[@TakeBackYourMind997]

@@citygirlingraham You're welcome! glad to help 🙂

[@kevo45601]

any further material or videos you could throw our way to help in this further endeavor?

[@von_freiesleben64]

Oh my god who else needed to hear this? Best advice i got in my life: Treat yourself like you are treating a good friend. I would never say those things i say to myself to another person. especially one i care about deeply. So why is it ok for me, even demanded, that i be harsh to myself? no one is saying that, no one else is thinking that. it's just myself. At first i was perplexed by the simpleness and courage of the message. WHAT? IT'S ALLOWED FOR ME TO TREAT ME LIKE THAT? I CAN DO THAT? Wow. Noone ever told me this. Also i found a practical way for dealing with those negative gut emotions, that aren't even full sentences or ideas, but just these feelings that punch you in the gut. Just say, I have no time for you right now, I'm busy doing something i enjoy. And it worked, i thought why is this so easy, and no one ever told me this before? Sure the feeling came again 10 minutes later, but then you say it again. And it stays away little longer until you're able to fully enjoy the moment again. Of course this is not a permanent solution, you can't push those of forever, and you shouldnt. there's conversations to be had about those with yourself, but everything has its time and place. When i'm at a party with my friends and want to enjoy live, self hatred is only gonna ruin that moment for me, so i'll keep that for when i'm on my own. Been a issue my whole life, but i'm finnaly starting to use practical solutions in the moment, and then reflection and self-love when i have the time for it. You don't need to feel every feeling that comes along, you don't have to engage in that. That's not surprassing the emotion, it's not that. it's delaying the conversation to a better time and place. Rant over, I believe i can keep this habit growing, and if i relapse, i just start again.

[@luciaescartin8738]

This was lovely and so helpful thank you so much! Good luck on your journey, sending all my love

[@LitKritKitchen]

It’s so crazy and wild because no one realizes that at the end of the day, your in a relationship with yourself before anything else and in order to thrive healthy, mentally and physically, you need to treat yourself and trust yourself, even if you don’t believe it, everything truly starts within and we are our worst enemies.

[@satyamajetthy4238]

Indeed !!❤

[@amyj.4992]

I love gardening, while listening to music every hump day and weekend. It's so therapeutic. Self awareness, heals so radically. Relatable

[@taabishkhanself-improvemen7331]

A big thank you from all of us to the School of Life who have been able to teach us more about personal development than our actual schools could. 💙 Love from a small channel

[@fattidiliberta]

easier said than done.... even through many self awareness and minfulness routine 'trainings' , therapy etc etc i cannot ignore nor redirect nor usually separate myself from my self-loathing...

[@mariestella8452]

The day i stopped loathing myself, my life got better. I started living and loving life.

[@valerieinnyc4719]

That’s the bigger learning I got from working with therapists: be your own best friend! By learning to be patient, kind and loving to myself, the rest followed... everyone should learn this lesson as early as possible 💕

[@bishamon9994]

it's easier to forgive others than to forgive ourselves, this video came just at the right time. what we most need is to be compassionate towards ourselves and understand that we are not defined by what others say about us, but are defined by what we think about ourselves.

[@Ankochan200]

This made me cry when my therapist told me I needed to have patient with myself. Self love. It’s hard sometimes and sometimes I forget but then I remember.

[@theschooloflifetv]

Do you know someone that could benefit from this film? Share it with them and join the discussion in the comments below. If you enjoy our films and want a say on what ones we make you can now become a channel member here: kzbin.info/door/7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBogjoin

[@DAYMENEA]

¿How can I help you with the spanish subtitules for this one? In the past I've tried with a few videos from this channel, I think

[@taabishkhanself-improvemen7331]

*"You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending"* Love from a small channel 💙

[@saraklondon]

A great reminder, thanks Taabish. Small but awesome channel, l appreciated the break down video. It's good to see males focusing on personal development 🙌

[@thrinnytejeda3630]

I’m a mother of 4, learning to heal now as an adult, I’m so thankful to have gotten the possibility of listening to this short video, no words can express..... thank you.

[@suenorwood-evans9724]

The best gift we can give to our children is a healed - or healing- mother!

[@Unknown-sg4tv]

You are equal and deserve love and respect exactly like everyone else.

[@Ayesha______]

This video so perfectly summed up my life in a little under 5 minutes. From the cause in my case, intense bullying (at first physical and then emotional bullying) to the suicidal ideation. It is so accurate, it hurts.

[@oscarruiz1799]

I was bullied heavy too bro, glad to see I'm not the only one

[@sandra8991]

Hug you 🌸

[@Ayesha______]

@@oscarruiz1799 I'm sorry to hear that. what I'm wondering is whether it can count as trauma

[@asiaclifford1546]

^ It for sure does. Hope you guys are around better people now. It took me leaving high school to realize the world is full of much kinder people

[@oscarruiz1799]

@@Ayesha______ It made me feel that what I had to say didn't matter, that my interests where shit and that I was weak, so it is some form of trauma, you are beautiful my man, I'm positive you are a great person to have around and I would consider myself lucky if I had you as a friend

[@Leo-mr1qz]

Self Compasion- The ability & practice of holding yourself amidst faliure, disappointed, & suffering of any kind. In the face of these life contractions, to still be able to offer yourself love and kindness ❤

[@modlsuper]

Love yourself protect yourself, give yourself and take care of yourself ❤️

[@sandra8991]

Thank you for giving me an answer I was looking for. I cut contact with all my family members who are toxic. And I learned to walk away from toxic people in general. But I feel threatened by them. Cause they treat me as poorly as I probably still think about myself. That is probably the reason it hits so hard and makes me feel so helpless. As more I learn to be kind to myself the less others abuse will effect me 😍 Now I'm even getting more excited about loving myself. It's not only protection. It is like feeling superwoman 💗

[@myosotismalva]

My on-going battle with eating disorder is result of self-hatred 😕

[@anio3141]

I believe you are strong and I have faith in a healthy life for you 💗 you matter ! A lot.

[@dublewr2194]

Its ok, your awareness is a good signal u’re on ur way to self love..🧡💛💚

[@wimwiddershins]

It's helpful to become skilled at identifying and questioning negative self-talk. Appending "...that is not true!" To the end of hurtful internal dialogue is a good starting point.

[@midnite22767]

Maybe one of the most eloquent and beautifully expressed videos I've ever seen, thank you.

[@smritirai7185]

Thank you for reminding us that we are all a work in progress. It takes a lot of time and patience to heal from the hurt we experienced as a child. While I have the most lovable parents I grew with my aunt and uncle who had 4 children of their own. Never once did they care for me. Takes some strength to recover from being ignored, criticised and abused all through my growing years.

[@Cproductions1319]

Self hatred was the reason I killed myself a long time ago. I was found on the freeway in a motorcycle wreck and broke every bone possible. The school of life came into my life in a very dark time and vulnerable while recovering and not only healing the body but healing my mind. That was in 2018 . Today is a different day to do better and take it one day at a time . Thank you school of life for the many videos I’ve watched and learned from ❤

[@0o0Anyuna0o0]

It's harder when you're despair over life circumstances as well as hating yourself from something in the past. It really reinforces the negative thoughts & attitudes.

[@justpelumii9986]

I think we live in a messed up/ toxic society that causes us to feel low about ourselves or judged based on certain standards because if these standards weren't there would we still think the same? The society reflects on us sometimes and it's best to love and accept ourselves because that's what truly matters at the end of the day

[@payalk2898]

Panic and disliking myself is what I learned and I can unlearn it. You are not doing anything wrong. Remember, life is a bunch of trial and errors. Be aware of your thoughts. I not only like myself, I LOVE MYSELF

[@Onetruemilo]

I hope you know this channel has probably saved lives,.you're all very empathetic and are careful with your words, you all deserve the world

[@nttthao]

"When we panic and feel intensely anxious about the future, we need to remember that we are in essence worrying about our fundamental legitimacy and lovability. Our survival depends on a swift mastery of the art of self-compassion."

[@Olivia-zb1vh]

"Salvation comes through self-awareness" very true and the reason why I love mindfulness and meditation so much..

[@Team_Slacker]

When the world lower our self-esteem and give us full of self-doubts, till then should we understand ourselves better knowing that how much the world hated itself due to its own negativity.

[@kdrhlbby]

i was thinking about this and i thought wow i hate myself. but then you guys uploaded this video 😭😭😭 thank you so much. 💗

[@Tavs_Tarot]

I cant be kind to myself when all I do is procrastinate, fail to pay attention, no one wants to be around me, everyone cancels on my plans, I did terribly in school, for being introverted and weird, having trichotillomania and having to look like an alien, when I'm not making progress towards my career, when I still cant drive, when still can't make the money I want to make, and the fact that I cant get my self to do things I want to do because I'm so tired!!! I dont understand how self love is gonna fix any of this! I dont see how acceptance is going to CHANGE any of this. I dont want to let myself off the hook I want to punish myself until I do what it is that need to be done!

[@martinledezma7423]

Wow! The School of Life always reads my mind! I have been dealing with my inner voices for some time originated out of other's behaviors towards me. This really has helped me this morning to begin my day with compassion to myself 😌

[@insidejaysskull]

Wow, very accurate description. Mental health is a constant effort, that I have learned personally. Be kind to yourself, life can be challenging.

[@dorio345]

I think I find some sort of comfort in hating my self. It’s like that inner me that hate me is my best friend.

[@abigase135]

This hit HARD! I needed to watch this and it's true, that self hatred is leftovers from how someone treated us. Thank you, this really helped.

[@jordanobinna5593]

this channel is hands down one of the best on youtube.

[@ForteExpresso]

My real school prepared me for academics School of Life is preparing me to enjoy life effectively

[@nekesa6429]

i honestly rlly needed this. i’ve been struggling with my body image and ive been going to the gym lately and eating healthier trying to be the best version of myself but still feel myself knocking myself down everyday.

[@user-ze4di8kz2v]

Your videos make me feel better

[@magicalpatterns]

I got this gift today when I was struggling with depression due to chronic illness. I’m so grateful I found this channel.

[@alexandralydia4362]

Be kind to others and thyself ✌🏻❤️✨

[@dylanpetrucelli4352]

I’ve treated myself so poorly and it led me to treat others poorly, it got so bad my gf left me while I was at work. I’m here now to try and be kind to myself again and so that I may be kind to others and not hurt them the same way as I hurt her.

[@qsm]

*how to not cry every day and don’t feel the emptiness ever growing*

[@trinaq]

The hardest person to love is yourself, but it's tough when you have to spend your entire life with yourself. Things can get better, and I'm sending lots of love your way! 😘❤️

[@qsm]

@@trinaq thank you for your kind words, wish someone could just hug everyday and tell me that “things will get better, i’m here.” but yes, i am struggling in self love a lot

[@yayangjunitasari1900]

Sending virtual hug❤

[@danejorgensen4553]

@@yayangjunitasari1900 can we get a qasim, things get better❤️ chain?

[@yayangjunitasari1900]

@@danejorgensen4553 of course...

[@bolivar1789]

1. This sounds like a great joke, but it is a real example of how the society also turns us against ourselves: "A man says he has learnt two important things in his religious community: - God loves you and you are going to burn in hell. - Sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love. " I have heard this from Tara Brach, a truly wonderful meditation teacher and clinical psychologist. Her book " Radical Acceptance " and her most calming and enlightening podcast are enormously helpful , especially for those of us who are deep down convinced that there is something very wrong with us. This quote especially got to me: " If our hearts are closed against ourselves, that closed heart is really not gonna be able to love life. We need to cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves". 2. Here is a great example I have heard from Dan Harris. A journalist who works for ABC news, whom you may know from his panic attack on live television! ( It is on youtube. But that incident changed his life. Now he is the host of one of the best meditation podcasts! ) I don't remember his exact words, but this was the idea: Imagine an alien that comes to visit our planet and goes to the gym. He will see all these people doing the most strange movements, running on a spot going nowhere, doing push ups, squats, side planks, lifting weights up and down. How awkward is all that?? Yet, since we know all the benefits, none of us think it is absurd! Now, think about the meditation practise. Especially the " loving kindness meditation" where you have to sit down and send love and care to yourself. It sounds so ridiculous and artificial!! What good is there in sitting , breathing deeply and saying loving words to yourself?? Well, it is all about strengthening that " compassion" muscle and it is indeed clear why we should begin with ourselves. ( The same way they tell you to put your oxygen mask before you save your child, if the plane is about to crash! ) You can just try it once, with a guided meditation by Diana Winston from UCLA. I found it extremely difficult at the beginning. In fact two most difficult things about that exercise for me were: sending love to your enemy and sending love to yourself! 3. This reminds me of a quote by Lacan where he said that the Christian injunction " love thy neighbour as thyself" must be ironic, because people hate themselves! But in an interview with Paul Holdengräber, Elisabeth Gilbert offers us a very beautiful solution to this: She says that we all want to be good and kind in this world. And indeed we have a great opportunity at hand: since we have ourselves 24 hours available, the best way to really "practise" this sort of kindness is to start with ourselves! 4. Often we have no idea about how cruel we are to ourselves. Being constantly self judgemental is default mode! So if you want to have an idea about how good a companion you are to yourself you can start with a " self compassion" test on Dr. Kristine Neff's website. 5. The idea that we don't have to "achieve" anything to be loved and valued is so important too. In her wonderful book " Daring Greatly", Brene Brown gives you enough reasons and ways to "internalise" this thought. She reminds you of how hard but how important it is to be able to say this one simple thing: " I am enough". This doesn't make us lazy at all. Just the opposite: If we start from a place of love, we can be much more diligent and ambitious, but in a good, healthy way. And we can dare more, because if we fail, the result won't " diminish" our value, but only enrich our experience in this world. 6. Here is a truly wonderful poem by Derek Walcott. It is good for us to read this from time to time. And slowly. LOVE AFTER LOVEThe time will come when, with elation, you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror, and each will smile at the other’s welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved youall your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life. Thank you for this very important lesson and the wonderful animation!

[@gulsenemtoylymyradova517]

and thank you for your recommendations Truly appreciated 🙏🖤

[@bolivar1789]

@@gulsenemtoylymyradova517 Hello there Gülsenem! Thank you so much for your time and for your message. Much love to you and yours

[@drewp4401]

"Without thinking about it, we are throttling all our chances at contentment at the earliest possible opportunity" This is the forgiveness, awareness that escapes ones pride, the image you thought was cool to be, but actually is just a self hatred at not living your true self earlier. I've heard that black shadow, and it knows only what you've fed it unthinkingly.

[@rach101]

I have been so hard on myself lately, I can’t help feel depressed, it’s so exhausting that your own mind is making you so sad.

[@ladyyyyyy4630]

This is exactly what I need right now.. thank you so much. I hope I will be kinder to myself from now on

[@11dsky78]

"Salvation comes from self-awareness." Start the journey of finding the true self. It's great CBT on own self and helpful in getting mental health.

[@mysticalmane3931]

Your videos help so many people. Thank you!

[@miaumiau8918]

I got so lost in the animation I couldn't focus on what's being said. It's so beautiful

[@markshpuntov629]

The way we see ourselves affects every area of our lives. We need to start being kinder to ourselves, and that starts with mindfulness. Most of us have been operating on auto-pilot for far too long. We let the voices of others dictate our lives and our self-image. The first step to getting off auto-pilot mode is to become more mindful and aware of our thoughts and feelings. Meditation and mindfulness training can be extremely helpful here. Once we learn to be more aware of our inner world, we'll be able to see how the mean things we say to ourselves are often just an echo of what others have said to us in the past. Once you become aware, you'll be able to be more conscious about which thoughts you allow to affect you. The secret to self-esteem and self-respect is to start living up to our own standards every day. No amount of affirmations can overcome a lack of taking the actions you know you need to take in your life. Mindfulness, self-talk, and action are the three foundations of being kinder to ourselves.

[@drinasun6984]

We must not say no to ourselves. Sometimes being selfless gets to the point where people start taking advantage of our kindness and using our good nature against us.

[@chocolateunicorn1883]

If somebody told me that one day i would love and accept myself for who i am i wouldn’t believe them. After going through an eating disorder, depression, body dysmorphia i finally love and accept myself and all my “flaws”. We are all beautiful, we just live in ugly world. The only thing that i hate about myself is that i slouch and my back hurts a lot because i slouch and thats all. Everything else i adore. And if somebody tells you that you are being narcissistic, they are just saying that because they’re insecure.

[@habibasalem8809]

This brought tears to my eyes

[@echoflame4279]

I'm always worried about the toxic positivity side of things when it comes to forcing self-love unto ourselves. It's not very practical or realistic. Sometimes filling your mind with very unrealistic and positive thoughts actually doesn't help at all, because you're not going to be mentally prepared for the inevitable negativity if you only expect positive outcomes. If positivity exists, then there must be negativity or else there is no sense of realism. You'd have to be entirely detached from reality if you can only think positive thoughts. The human experience is much more complicated than sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes you end up in an accident and can't afford the medical bills. It goes both ways, so toxic positivity is never the answer. Self-awareness and not catastrophizing things outside of your control is.

[@heavymetal1330]

I became like this because of some people at work... a lot of jelousy... years of self-hatred... but now i am trying to get back on track... 🙏🏻

[@btsfan7531]

It always helps me to imagine looking at myself as an unknown person I know has problem with self-worth and is overwhelmed. I might be harsh to myself, but to others I immediately empathise. I must always catch myself being outright rude to myself though. Like, today I finally washed the dishes, and I thought "Was it so hard? It took only a few mintes, you could've done that two days ago!"😭😭😭

[@laurenj432]

Being nicer to others in my thoughts helps too. If someone does something weird or rude, rather than criticizing them I try to just have a neutral opinion

[@EclecticTingz]

Yes, currently applying this to my mental and this relieves so much stress. It also makes me feel less judge mental. 💕🤙🏽

[@Mybigsissy]

Oh how beautiful is the voice that narrates!

[@jackdanielson1997]

Free yourself from the judgements of others by freeing yourself from your own judgement. When you forgive yourself, you forgive others. When you stop judging yourself, you stop judging others. I still struggle even after all that with this idea that if I feel at peace, then what else is there? Like what's the point? It's almost like getting distracted by the nuances of everyday life is what makes us feel connected, because if we stop caring, then everything starts to feel pointless. Not sure if that makes sense, but it's kind of where I am

[@sandra8991]

I liked the start of your comment and then got confused by your believe that peace is not caring. Peace is love and care. Without attatchment. Kind of in a pure way. To just be and actually really feel. The present and what's there. It is being genuine and totally connected. Like when you walk through nature and look at it attentively. You are just there and in awe.... don't know if this makes sence to you?

[@aia5524]

"The most fair judge you can see in life is your remorse"

[@Miihalina]

what a perfect timing

[@saurabhmehta7681]

Only you can be your worst enemy. Don't let that happen.

[@FutureMindset]

It's interesting how much our actions have to do with what was done to us and how we were treated. The saddest part is that most people aren't aware of it and that's why cultivating self-awareness allows us to dig deep into our own psyche and fix our problems.

[@bigh012345]

Thank you. So many of us hold onto fears that happened once but aren't guaranteed to happen again. Last meeting went poorly? A rejection from a lover? It's because it happened before it MUST happen again. Every moment is different and fear from earlier should not influence the current situation.

[@marcinhomm]

This is true and Dylan James explains this beautifully on his channel. No self love means no manifestation at all.

[@juddotto3660]

Answer came back as 10/10 safe! Love you buddy

[@somebicycle6684]

I cannot emphasize how important this video is

[@blackthatha6960]

This was a punch in the face. Thank you, I needed it.

[@avantikaphuyal6793]

3:42 we are unkind to ourselves because people were in the past not especially kind to us and we are touchingly yet dangerously loyal to their philosophies of derision. 😳

[@Helloo298]

Man, I cried at the end of the video. It hurts even more having this apply to my lil sis too. My mother does certain things that isn't healthy towards us. Hence, I have such a hard time in not being so hard with myself.