How to Build Closer Friendships

[@varden3270]

Do many others here find it easy to socialize and build friendly relationships, yet difficult to make actual long term friendships?

[@jenna943]

First Last it’s normal. Actual long term friendships are the hard part.

[@PracticalInspiration]

I think most can relate. It's actually more common amongst men too. It's because many of us inhibit ourselves to try and avoid possible risk of pain and frankly out of fear. That's also with videos like this are common (did one myself too a few weeks back)

[@varden3270]

I think it's normal too, however, people around me seem better at it in general. That probably has a lot to do with selective perception though.

[@PracticalInspiration]

@@varden3270 you're probably right. People tend to see their own "flaws" more than those of others.

[@chimglishguru]

I'm the opposite. I find it hard to socialize with many people. If they are not my very close friends, the atmosphere turns awkward very fast because I'm not talkative around them. I'm still learning how not to make people feel awkward around me.

[@hanma3291]

1. You Have To Put In Time 2. Become the Leader 3. Be Deliberate about the Activity you choose 4. One on one Interactions 5. Help out your friends 6. Maintaining Your Friendships ( by texting or ... )

[@babynyxe4784]

saitama...

[@erenjeager5290]

Mic Mic Bungee?- he knows how to build strong relationships 😂

[@maddisonk3126]

Number 4 is my problem as to why I probably have no friends...I Iike one on one interactions and hate being in a group of people.

[@axnus4112]

@@maddisonk3126 i love being in a group of people

[@maddisonk3126]

@@axnus4112 I wish I did...but when I'm withing group I'm the last choice. I think that's why I like one on one conversations. Theres no one else to compare me to.

[@sleepysartorialist]

Yeah so, I’m the friend who organizes, who schedules, who plans...and people don’t show up or cancel last second. I’m burnt out on the effort.

[@SteffTalk]

Sleepy Sartorialist same

[@arjansagoo493]

Don't chase what does not want you

[@zzulm]

Can we say that you are gaining experience? Like you are getting good at it and when the right people appears you wii be ready.

[@vincentpollack]

Take a step back and then see if people take action

[@cassidyshuler1152]

my life.

[@UserName-xi8rm]

Something I’ve learnt : 1. Don’t fantasize, it can set you up for disappointment, try your best to live in the moment instead of thinking about the future 2. Don’t expect someone to tell you their deepest darkest secrets if you just met 3. Friendships are like plants , you need to give the right amount of water and sun for it to grow, it’s all about balance, show them your interested in a friendship, but don’t obsess over them 4. Be patient

[@abida1612]

Nice!

[@is5714]

Great comment! For no.2 though, I also recommend *you* not to talk about your deepest darkest secrets. Thanks for posting this

[@rigakelmendi5886]

So i told them that I always wanted to be more closer friends is that to far or ..?

[@omarkemal5344]

Well said

[@planetwalker798]

esp#4. I also liked what Thomas said about 5% of the population are creators. You might have to be the lead and reach out. I’ve struggled with this one feeling like one way relationships- will be chewing on this….

[@walkingcarol8351]

My tip for spending your limited time with your friends is going to an escape room. It's just an hour but it can really make all of you feel like a group that has to stick together and you'll have so many common experiences. It's perfect for filling those 100 hours.

[@Thomasfrank]

This is a great tip! Escape rooms are super-fun, and solving problems together is a great way to get to know other people.

[@TheGreektrojan]

More than specifically the escape room (which are great), shared experiences help build deeper connections quicker, why places like school, your first retail/restaurant job etc... are breeding grounds for it. This is particularly true for men, who tend to socialize more around activities/tasks than just shared time.

[@randomperson3242]

I would absolutely love that! I've always wanted to try escape rooms and have mentioned to my friends about it but I'm gonna go and really make it happen now!

[@walkingcarol8351]

@@randomperson3242 That's so cool! It's really the best decision for an evening with people you want to spend time with. Have fun!! :D

[@randomperson3242]

@@walkingcarol8351 thank you! ❤️❤️

[@TheLifeFormulaa]

If you are the one sending invitations, people will remember you more, and thus you will be invited to future events by those you invited. It creates a cycle you want to be part of.

[@CobraJx]

Thanks for that, looks like I'll be asking people out more rather than them ask me.

[@dellacrawford3731]

When Thomas Frank turns into Charisma on Command lol

[@tomasalvarado8205]

Della Crawford I am expecting that crossover now

[@Lu-hu6wu]

Collab

[@mynametrong5508]

Only 5% of people are creators and 95% are consumers. If I want to strengthen friendships, I need to put in the work myself. Thank you, Thomas.

[@avien9068]

Same here dude.

[@mysticblood6]

Legit im always the action maker in all my friendships...it gets exhausting. I wish people pulled their own weight

[@avien9068]

@@mysticblood6 I know how you feel 😩

[@OrlyYahalom]

I didn't have many close friendships in my life. At the moment I have none. But those I had all started mutually and gradually, and not by one side being more dominant than the other. I've also found out long time ago that going to activities with the main purpose of finding friends or a partner is a good recipe for disappointment.

[@AlejandroGarnacho.7]

Means what

[@AscensionUSA]

This video addresses the EXACT problem I've been having since college started... it seems as though everyone's too busy to be anything more than casual, but there are tons of people around me with well established circles and relationships, and meanwhile here I still am in junior year with no one except people I speak to in classes/common areas

[@dontlookatmyprofilepicxp2532]

I am in my second year of college and my high school friends and I still have lunch or dinner sometimes and talk regularly over the phone or in our groupchat. Spending alot of time with eachother is really important to build a foundation for a strong friendship even if you don't see them alot in real life. Also I got more friends in college by just sitting next to them in lectures. It's not that hard to start a conversation about the prof's awful handwriting and than ask them to go on lunch with you. In the first weeks of college most people in your class won't even have friends to sit with anyways. Things to do to spent more time together and become close friends; Ask them for lunch or for dessert. Take them to a café or sushi bar. Go to an event at your school or city. Go to an amusement park. If you are broke like me, hang out at the mall but don't buy anything. Make them associate happy feelings when they are spending time with you. So the next time they're free, they will automatically wanna hang out with you.

[@phillyfan-182]

Even after graduation it’s tough to maintain those friendships so I can relate

[@enteiraikou5845]

I'll just say this right now, "Are you a mind reader Thomas?" Because I was literally just thinking about how I can make closer friends while I'm still in school rather than many acquaintances because it gets pretty lonely when you don't have someone else. Thank you!!

[@SouthernGryphus]

We're fighting the same fight, what a timely video...

[@5MinutePsychology]

My oldest friend has been my friend for almost 30 years now. We grew up together, went to the same primary school and now we work for the same company. I’m lucky to have her! I think it’s important to BE a friend to someone and not to HAVE a friend. I’m not sure if it makes a lot of sense to all. In other words, I feel we should concentrate on others and not on ourselves when we spend time together.

[@paulwang3818]

I admire you：）

[@ashleylopez9]

May I ask, several questions I personally have as I myself am trying to understand what it takes and what maintaining a relationship (friendship) looks like? How do you know, when to consider possibly ending a relationship or even too it being worth fighting for? Do you outweigh the pros from the cons? I’m having trouble on understanding, as I’ve been maturing when is something worth ending or when is something worth holding onto? For example, I have a friend I’ve known since middle school. We don’t talk all the time however we’ve been really close friends for a really long time, since him going to college things have gotten more distant however we both can go about our lives, not need to speak all the time yet whenever we see each other it’s like times never gone by. As I’ve been maturing, in my expectations, values, and how I view the quality of my relationships he’s came into town, promised me we’d see each other yet we’ve yet to see each other. I’ve communicated as efficiently as possible with him however he is just kind of all over the place and keeps letting me down. How do I know if something like a situation like this, is worth me possibly ending that relationship or worth holding onto? How is also, just in general do I identify when something is just worth it or not. I don’t want to be in a situation where I am making excuses and lowering my self-respect/standards because I just want to “keep” the relationship with someone. I truly want to be friends with someone and have little disagreements or mishaps and know how to bounce back? Like how do I know when there’s just too many deal breakers or not? How do I know if it’s worth it or not?

[@griefer5846]

lucky, you’ve basically grown with ur friend since the beginning of ur life, trying to make new friends is a different story

[@noname-hl3kb]

i edited this cuz i was cringing at my past self

[@MRxDBT]

i have many friends but we never actually go out together its so wierd man

[@noname-hl3kb]

MRxDBT yeahh...same

[@poxalmazro3e734]

Well its complicated for me, I have like really gud and close friends (just 2) but I feel soo lonley most of the time

[@mahdichorfane196]

Well ... It's actually not sth bad , I recently discovered that my best friend is actually a TOXIC friend. So I had to cut him out. Having no friends is better than having toxic ones.

[@xenos6570]

same here man

[@azuraligthfeilt]

I'm not an anti social or a neet or anything like that. I have friends and I do socialize whenever I can, but socializing is a very easy thing to do (even with stranger), making friends aren't really that difficult, but turning a friend to a best friend is the difficult part. When I'm with a crowd of strangers, I can talk with them casually, and talk about common things like hobby, weather, news, ect. Making friends in a community (ex: school, club, office & workplace) is pretty easy too. But it is very difficult to have that friend who even the most socialable person on the planet has very few of. The friend you can count on, the one who'll be with you in any situation. Normally, people only have 2-3 people like that, and even I still struggling to build the bond and trust to get to that level of relationship.

[@FaintAura]

It takes years most of the time to get to that level with someone, with some bumps and adversity along the way. And on top of that, very few people can "be with you in any situation," especially as you become an adult.

[@isabelbody7278]

Not every conversation has to be an intelligent one, it makes the person feel like they have to think before they speak

[@umyeahashleigh]

5:55 okay but my name is Ashleigh and that really creeped me out lol

[@kryokin9771]

Bahaha, I was looking for a comment like this!! XD

[@niZe1996fan]

Ashley*

[@Amanda-qe5lj]

@@niZe1996fan wooooooooosh

[@ashelyapples]

I’m Ashely too...

[@ashleyp.2378]

I was so shocked when he said Ashley. What are the odds😂😂

[@tomyfutureself6180]

Like literally needed this right now

[@تلميذالغابة]

same

[@bonzer847]

having a mental breakdown and this fkn helped

[@Ckjohn77kg]

1. Put in the time 40-60 hours to become casual friends; 80-100 for friends; >200 for close friends 2. Be the leader and organizer (5%vs 95%) 3. One-on-one for deeper conversations 4. Help out, stay with them 5. Maintain the relationship

[@zobayerarnob]

Actionable Steps I took from this video (and previous video of this series): 1. Do as much as outside activities possible. 2. Try to attend as much as group conversations. 3. While hanging out with a group, talk about a broad topic that everyone can relate to. Not a narrow super intellectual topic beyond everyone's interest. 4. Have a basic idea about everything and everyone around you. 5. Help neighbors while they are moving if possible.

[@imani1483]

This ecaxt topic has been on my mind the past few months. I have many friends, but few close friendships. Your videos are impressive,one can definitely sense how much preparation has gone into every single one of your creative, informative vids. Dedicated fan. I share your videos with so many Norwegians. Loads of love from Norway

[@ashleys2069]

Woah. It's past 1am. The "you, Ashley" made my soul leave my body.

[@MrOssyMoro]

So jealous

[@ashleyhatten7110]

Same hereee

[@ItsMe-ox8lm]

I think friendship is like a plant, you have to take care of it. You have to cultivate it.

[@dadongp8154]

It's Me I’ve used that analogy too... it’s like the first interaction is when you plant the seed and every conversation after is you watering the plant to make it grow

[@symmetramainbtwlol4969]

DaDon GP Well all plants die at some point so I dont hope every friendship dies

[@krsmanjovanovic8607]

Some plant do not want to grow on your soil no mater how much love and care you put into them

[@idioticdemon2619]

and accidentally stepping on it killing it.

[@princesslacson6291]

Anything in his world is interconnected.

[@moritzschroder]

man, i dont say this lightly, but you are my idol in terms of making youtube content! always on point, always edited well, always with valuable tips! that's the kind of content i want to create as well. thank you for being a role model 🔥

[@onemanenclave]

1:38 Look how the pics go from happy pics with smiling people, to a super dramatic, depressing one. I think this illustrates well the opening up that happens when one becomes closer to someone: we start to show our more negative emotions, including sadness and frustration.

[@marionforge2769]

This is very hard for an introverted.

[@jameselmafiosolopez3239]

Mar Nitsuga everything is hard when you create excuses like that

[@famas7638]

No such thing as an introvert. Thats why when you become drunk u tend to be more social. That is the natural state of being. Everything else is learned behavior.

[@alexhjc8]

@@famas7638 yes, but it being learned behavior doesn't change the fact he's introverted

[@itzelmartinez7269]

I'm an introvert and it was so hard to socialise but I started speaking up and telling ppl and noe I have met many people which is cool just get out there and face your fears

[@milespq5561]

Ya especially the organizing thing. Lookin kinda slow for that😅

[@brentmoretz4366]

A Best friend is somebody that you can trust, if they love you alot, care about them alot, and rather you can share anything with them

[@jovi_way]

Thank you so much, Tom. Was driving home tonight feeling super lonely asking myself, "is it my fault that I can't seem to have close friends, have a girlfriend, etc?" This video seems to reinforce the obvious truth that I'm choosing not to make the time. I know I'm not alone in this life. I aspire to take responsibility and make changes.

[@weronikalewicka7592]

Being in a close friendship with somebody depends on 2 people. I would like to be a leader, but also I want to be in this 95%. I think there must be a balance between being a lidrer and being a person who is invited. This is the healthiest relationship.

[@1600Awesome]

Am I just suppose to ignore the fact that you're Batman?!

[@cringemeister04]

what?

[@idioticdemon2619]

*yes*

[@Buzzzxzz]

-you have to put in the time -be the organizer (initiate first) + choose the right activities -one on one interaction -be there for the other person (help move) -let them know that you’re thinking about them(e.g maybe text them nonsense)

[@ayam7652]

U could build friendship for years & years then it would be destroyd in a matter of seconds

[@Thomasfrank]

You're absolutely right - and it's the same with your reputation. But that doesn't make either of them not worth building!

[@Mariajbh2]

There are very serious mistakes that can not be made. But as you try to solve a lot of help

[@Breyerlover4ever23]

Happened to me last week.

[@iprobablyhaveapoint]

@@Thomasfrank make a video on how to build reputation!

[@msenecal]

@@iprobablyhaveapoint We all have a reputation. If you want to change your reputation you would have to change yourself.

[@YonikMalik]

It’s painful considering I’ve tried to reach out to 15+ separate people and they’ve all abandoned me. I thought maybe there was a problem with me, but I look at every single case and it’s the other person either dropping me without warning or not caring to reach out. It’s been an absolute pain since college has started to find good friends, but I can push through. 8 months and going strong!

[@emilirenova6648]

I have watched these types of videos all my life and today. The day that I’m so high everything is actually sinking in and I actually understand

[@rabiabanu1633]

Friendship is like a muscle, the more you practice it the more toned it gets. A person can survive without a degree, but if a person has bad socializing underdeveloped skills no matter what job or position they are in it’s a struggle, mess and hard work to bring things back to normal. The kids of alcoholics or narcissistic parents usually lack these qualities and are in constant struggle to have core skills of socializing in different setting ( school friends, neighbors, colleagues, friends of friends, group friends). The atmosphere they are brought up in is always fight, flight or freeze. Taming those feeling then socializing then maintaining and managing is overwhelmingly frustrating and tiring to ppl in such cases. They lack team compatibility, and are considered weird not approachable not dependable it’s just sad bad and miserable. Hope KZbinrs cover the topics mentioned above and make some videos. Not seeing ppl at close proximity manage, maintain friendships and relationships has a deep negative impact of quick adoptive minds of kids leading them to adopt toxic and unacceptable mindset body language. And attitude.

[@sixtyeight9682]

So on point. I’m so disorganized and absorbed by dopamine chasing that I lack awareness of other peoples’ lives or checking in. I end up reaching out last minute or trying to do play dates with my kids so I think it comes across that I only reach out when I need something when I’m just really hijacked from intentionally and mindfully nurturing friendships. I like the tips. Even the spirit of scheduling social outreach with very minimal expectations I think could go a long way.

[@jaredp2598]

Very insightful, I find myself rather exhausted from trying hard to make relationships and maintain them but I try to balance it by only keeping a certain amount of people I talk too and disregard the others

[@darpanshah1848]

It's all about Putting in the effort ! Be Present for them when they need you ... One on One interactions are key... Thanks Thomas

[@Ashley-wk1pf]

I wish making friends was as easy as it is in the sims, all you have to do is tell a joke about cats, *boom* best friends

[@21principito]

As a non native english speaker, I really appreciate you speak all the words very clearly and articulate and no too fast nor slow, I don’t have to put any effort in understanding what you are saying and I really appreciate that, thanks!

[@mattisaderp8929]

I have had a stutter for 7 years now, and over time it has given me a lot of social anxiety, I'm very bad at conversations and making friends. I feel like a lot of people don't even want to talk to me because of my stutter, I have some "fake" friends though, what I just really want is a best friend, someone who would always be there for me, and I would always be there for them, hopefully I will find one at some point. But I have no clue on how to achieve this, I don't have a lot of experience ;-;

[@malcbrad93]

StutteringScribe Hi I suffered social anxiety for many years because I blushed so easily. It was easier to sit at home and read a book rather than go out and meet people. My life changed when I joined a group that was linked to something that I was interested in and wanted to do. I joined a dance group. Initially I still blushed but I found out that people didn't really care about that. We were all interested in learning to dance. I also found out that the majority of people are nervous and shy but show it in different ways. I encourage you to join a local group, it could be Astronomy, volunteering to help at a charity/church or learning to skydive. It won't change overnight but you will have fun doing something that you enjoy and you will become confident in it. The first time at the meeting is the biggest hurdle to overcome. Get past that and every other time becomes . Hope this helps

[@mattisaderp8929]

Ty man

[@WillyTrio27]

I’ve had the same 4 friends for about 10 years now, and idk what my life would be like without them

[@gaminggen5807]

I’ve put in the work, I’ve tried my level best, and if I’ve said this, I absolutely mean it! What I don’t really get is my friends don’t reciprocate. They are rather “careful” with whom they interact with or open up to. Like if they see some benefit from talking to me, they would otherwise, it’s just “meh”..

[@simranlageju]

dogs just to let u know i watch ur vids and care to leave a meaningless comment

[@rtcodes4618]

Meaningless? Look at how many ppl related and liked 😋 everyone is special, so you're great👍😄 let all else go and jump into the presence of Love :)

[@BRUH10155]

Thank you so much for this Thomas. I’ve been looking to strengthen my friendships and this is exactly what I’ve been looking for.

[@jeavoncampbell4575]

I think a challenge to making friends is expressing you creative endeavors while not seeming weird.

[@JoeZx3]

Great video! Still on the topic of friends: What would be a good way to choose your friends. I’ve noticed I’m around negative people most of the time and most of the time they talk about gossip, other people.

[@Thomasfrank]

The main thing for me is trying to meet people through the activities that I enjoy doing. I love sports and entrepreneurship, and I tend to meet lots of outgoing, friendly, and active people in both areas. Occasionally there's a person who I'd rather not be around, but with them it's usually a simple matter of not following up.

[@theoblack5290]

4:50 YES! CHILDHOOD! Man you took me back... Great vid, thank you Thomas

[@cookiechi7315]

I have a really close friend, best friend almost, and we've known eachother for about 5 years. She's amazing, but I feel like all our conversations are about the same thing everytime. Our conversations never flow as easily as it should when you're really close friends, y'know? I just want us to be a bit closer, if you get what I mean.

[@sahelidatta9018]

When u think someone is your best friend and when u realize later that they just used u for some reason....u loose trust ...u don't want to start a new friendship out of fear. And forever stay alone! #storyofmyliferightnow :(

[@YonikMalik]

@@aris.lingad that’s incredible. Thanks for sharing. It gives me hope

[@stephen_2091]

You have to remember that: 1. It's about drive 2. It's about power 3. We stay hungry 4. We devour 5. Put in the work 6. Put in the hours 7. And take what's ours

[@duckquackaudio]

Hahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahahahahahahahahahha hahahahahahahahah ohoshahahaha

[@TheOGUmar]

Cringe

[@gnyariennselvakumar4541]

This is one of your best work my man! Keep it up. I've been watching your channel for couple of years now and this is one of the best content you have made!

[@noiruuu]

Didn't know how bad of a friend I was until this, literally

[@petrmorong8021]

The transition to the advertisement was impressive ✌️ well done 😂😂🙈✌️

[@alexgreen1913]

This is interesting. Usually, I hear from people that if you don't hit off in a constant then your not friends but the people who I instantly find a lot of interests with they seem to disappear after a while. Anything worthwhile takes time. Almost all people want everything instant.

[@marrytesfu3163]

But then how to know who is the friend that deserve all this effort and time. It should be a friend who also wants to upgrade the friendship, meaning the friend should also be a leader, willing to put the time in and do everything you just said. Or else it will be a one way friendship. Only one friend can't build a strong relationship that is sustainable. Right?

[@francescakyanda9182]

Yes! If this is happening consistently, you might wanna fall back or talk to them directly about it if it bothers you

[@Proeliumbyproel]

1:54 YOUR SCHEDULE dude you rock man, can we pray together to Robin Williams ?

[@WilliamAndersen-y3i]

Listening from NJ with my English class. Great video!!

[@IamAliShamim]

Will you be my non-casual friend Thomas?

[@LilMizzLae]

Six months and no response? I'm guessing that's a hard no... lol

[@symmetramainbtwlol4969]

LilMizzLae why is this so sad lol

[@rosecbooks]

Lol

[@IamAliShamim]

@@rosecbooks sad cause its been a year and theres a pandemic now

[@abstr4kt_728]

rejecc

[@PrakharKVerma]

That 5% and 95% analogy hit me hard. I got to start taking the lead! Thank you, Thomas.

[@kaseyconahan9444]

My friend Tyler just graduated from college and now is about two hours away. I’ve been messaging him lately and he doesn’t answer the last conversation I had with him in July and before July the last time I spoke to him was in February. He told me he was working through personal issues when I talked to him. His dog passed away about a month a and a half ago and I know he works a lot. When he was in school he played basketball and tennis and I was at lots of his tennis matches the last couple semesters and basketball games since he was a freshman. We got closer within the last few years. I have been looking back on all the times we interacted and most of the times he always initiated hugs.

[@aeonsiege1806]

1. Put in the time and be constant (200+ hours) 2. Have initiative to gather 3. One on one interaction 4. Help out 5. Reach out whenever you think about them

[@cheeseman5268]

i just made my 2nd and 3rd friend after 4 years of not having any, i want to make it count, thank you thomas

[@josieannette6096]

I’m a huge introvert. I have a casual friend that I really like. She’s funny, and when we hang out, it’s a lot of fun. I’m graduating middle school this year, so I want a friend to carry on into high school.

[@ForCedReply]

forever alone

[@gisl2159]

So right... I only had two friends in my life who were the orgsniser and they always did the deciding. Our ways parted and I was pretty down and up; surprised how it wasn't all easy. I noticed that I had to be the one to open up, join, open a place for myself. You have to hear it even you know something? Knowing and understanding are different. Thank you for the video, I get it! But I had three friends who were spending time recently. One is kinda lazy and the other is always a yes to join but doesn't want to be thinking where what when. I am doing it always when I want to go with the. It is sometimes drowning how they don't try anything.

[@rupert.secuta]

Finally someone who provide practical advice, thank you!!!!!

[@FAROOQ95123]

This was on up my mind recently. Now you come out with a video on this. Thanks so much brother.

[@MrsLilLady86]

this is a very awesome video, and a very applicable to my generation. Thanks!

[@juliamykhilenko5656]

,,,i needed this so much. Thank you

[@ascetic1853]

This is the most exact video i was looking for

[@ramonhynson9336]

I really appreciate this video. You covered like everything on how I truly feel. 🤕

[@fernandogomezdelatorre3296]

Thank you o much for your advice! This really helped me out since I have been lately struggling with making real friends lately. You're great Thomas! You have also motivated me to create my own channel and talk about self improvement. Thank you.

[@logankue9627]

It's a two way street. You can put in effort, but if the others don't reciprocate it, then it won't work.

[@tranhuynh9909]

Watching this suddenly make me miss my best friend alot.

[@benwalkling8525]

Genuinely useful video without being condescending! Thanks for the Advice!

[@HumansOfVR]

Literally 10 minutes ago i said farewell to one of my GOOD friends who i have known for YEARS. It is a VERY DIFFICULT thing to do, but i know it was the RIGHT DECISION because no matter how many years you grow up with someone the amount of TOXICITY they put into your LIFE is something that needs to be put CUT OFF before you find yourself TRAPPED in a constant spiral of NEGATIVITY.

[@rizziec]

This video has helped improve my perspective as the “leader” of my friend groups

[@bbqq013]

My bsf came back to me, we both applaud work it out over a few hours long call. We laughed a lot. She was able to improve her mental health, I am happy for her. She is the type of person I would usually avoid. But, I know her, grew up with her. She is weird, not afraid to embrace her interests and express herself without fear. Bold, loud, ‘dumb’, and relies on humor. I don’t talk a lot, and don’t express myself freely bc I’m afraid of judgment, I think about things more (🤓), and I value deeper conversations. She is infp, I am intp. She has no idea what her future is going to be like, and I have an idea. (But like who cares lol) I laugh when I talk to her. We call for hours and make jokes and talk about stuff, and share similar (if not the same) morals. Yet, she is the type of person who values their own emotions over logic. And yk opposite for me (Again 🤓) I think she teaches me to express myself. I have depended on her, and I have kinda learned to be completely alone, and rely on myself to be happy. I want to help her improve, all though she is the only one who can truly do that. I think having a mutual support wnsomeone is touching. Understanding each other, caring, being sensitive, but, is this really what I want? I didn’t want to call because I would rather watch a video, than uphold a convo. That is my own problem. I feel like I’m in a dilemma, I don’t know how I truly feel. So I just figured it would be better to talk again. RAFARSJHSKAKANAJJA

[@areejsheikh6478]

Oh my god. Your videos have such perfect timing. I just needed this. Thankyou so much for making amazing videos!!

[@Rosannasfriend]

I'm glad you're making this video, cause I've been trying to work on this very subject for a while now.

[@reptilistica]

I watched this originally because I felt saddened that I’m usually the initiator in my friendships but it helped me a lot to know that it was ok that I do that.

[@coloringfunn]

Ohh yes ...it I like you are directly adressing me this time

[@storybee7269]

1. Put in the time. 2. Be the leader / be the organizer. Only 5% are creators, and the other 95% are consumers 3. Be deliberate about the activities that you choose to do. 4. One on one interactions. 5. Help your friends out always. 6. Maintain friendships (text and share your little life updates)

[@AntiParallali]

I watched through the Mac ad at the end even though I use only Windows because I don't want Tom's watch time to suffer 😂. Great video as usual 👍

[@DorimantHeathen]

Thank you Thomas, I really needed this video right in this particular moment. Greetings from Italy!

[@liptoncunningham6666]

I was kinda resentful for being the organizer friend, but this has made me view that differently. Thanks Thomas!

[@editor1656]

i appreciate him putting his sponsors at the end of the video so that no one gets bored..

[@gentlecard_tom]

I’m low key sad that I don’t really have a childhood friend. I don’t talk to my friends from my childhood and we don’t really have much in common anymore

[@heinmolenaar6750]

I want a gay friend

[@navirosas5968]

Thank You Thomas!!! 4 Taking your time to teach us ☯️

[@KristinaArntz]

thanks so much for this video. I'm finding it very helpful. I'm so used to waiting around and whining about other people not reaching out. I'll work on being more of a leader.

[@brpawankumariyengar4227]

Thank you very much indeed ..... please do make more videos on this a topic ..... this is very important information

[@matthewlorona5522]

Hey, your videos are legendary, thank you for all the help.

[@amyswidow4004]

This is really good advice, thank you for putting in the time to make and share this video

[@tonyrodriguez3298]

The great philosopher Thomas Frank once said.....

[@mathewcarnaby]

I've simply messaged "Tag - you're it!" to friends before to poke some fun at them. It got a great response.

[@bauerl9]

Yerba mate man i love it actually... im gonna go make some right now... como me cambió la argentina

[@chanellaDaboss]

Thank you so much for this video! It will definitely help me at some point. I'm the kind of person who has merely acquaintances by choice but i think i could try something different.

[@ivy1781]

I did all of these before I watched this video and it works! We are very close and even though it’s over Xbox party chat it still is useful to at least try these.

[@woozoos]

Not having any close friends in a giant high school is the saddest feeling you’d ever have

[@Dylanschannelodoom]

Main downer for me atm is that I am being the organizer all the time, but my friends cancel a lot because things come up. I even tailor to their schedules and nothing seems to work out lately. It's really frustrating.

[@hexaltoor2814]

I love this kind of videos that are related to comunication! S2 It is a subject that caches my interest.