how to come out in 2021

[@MsDickerz]

BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! It's been a hot minute. I hope these tips help! What are some of your favourite coming out tips??

[@lexiberg2780]

If they will get mad to it somewhere they can’t reach you, (I got scared so I can out to my family by calling them at school lunch)

[@MsDickerz]

@@lexiberg2780 a very good tip!!!

[@brucelittlejohn1323]

All of them love them I'm gonna help my sister now to come out to our parents x

[@annie_j]

I was extremely scared to tell my parents in person, so instead I wrote a letter. I would definitely recommend this if you're too scared to come out to someone in person.

[@fuzbeare6143]

Love the new recording space dutchy fits ya well

[@lillid9273]

If you are seeing this, know that you are 1. Loved 2. Valid af 3. Beautiful 4. Smart 5. Kind 6. Worthy And lastly, know that you are wanted here, that you belong here , and that even though it may not seem like it, I PROMISE you 1000% that you will find true happiness (If you haven't already) Love ya'll

[@MsDickerz]

YES! this energy!!

[@lillid9273]

@@MsDickerz :D

[@mw1838]

[@priagandhians]

I'm the ugliest person ever,not even joking, but thanks

[@luciaarias8877]

Thanks

[@justinseagull3279]

my closet pretty cosy at the moment maybe next year but good luck to anyone coming out this year!❤❤❤

[@shtary]

Yah I think I will be ready at the end of next year around my 13th birthday

[@MsDickerz]

bless

[@gabbieshetlar1891]

Same ahhh!! Same to you ((:

[@raapyna8544]

Feeling this, living at my parents' in a small room and been redecorating lately lol. (Since lockdown) I feel like I want a bit more space before I come out. More space to be my own person and see them accept that, and maybe physically my own place. I probably would be fine with them finding out but I just want to keep that boundary for now

[@ponkeypink6593]

Lol same

[@emobeaglesroo165]

Good luck to anyone coming out this year! 🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈🏳‍🌈

[@XboxSwankie]

3days ago

[@brucelittlejohn1323]

@@XboxSwankie well done x

[@yourresidentanon4169]

@@XboxSwankie 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@shtary]

I came out on thursday or tuesday last week! Only to 3 friends though I was so lucky that 2 of them were also LGBTQ+

[@MsDickerz]

YAS

[@MarcusIsHere]

I am an LGBTQ+ Christian and today I came out to my Christian friend group and they were the most supportive people ever, it totally restored my faith in humanity and I don't think I would have done it without the help of Dutchys videos! Thanks Dutchy!

[@miracleschmidt4342]

:’))))) good job!!!!! i’m so so so so proud of you so so so so so so happy for you!!!!! :DDD

[@MarcusIsHere]

@@miracleschmidt4342 THANK YOUU

[@cynthiavazquezyt895]

@@MarcusIsHere i am a Christian too and i think I’m bi.. I’m nervous 😟

[@MarcusIsHere]

@@cynthiavazquezyt895 it's hard hahaha, just remember that you are loved and you are not wrong for being who you are!

[@cynthiavazquezyt895]

@@MarcusIsHere Thank you!

[@mathilde5928]

I’ve been really struggling with wanting to come out to my conservative christian parents but not knowing how and scared for their reaction... Last week my mom came to visit me and when she went upstairs to say hi to my son, she saw my bisexual pride flag... she asked what flag it was and then I finally told her.... She was really shocked and said she still loved me and asked some uncomfortable questions but she still thinks it’s a sin witch led to a big discussion.... But i’m glad they know now.

[@shtary]

I came out to 4 people this year and nobody else ever! 3 of the 4 are also Lgbtqi+ Bi, like me and you, Pan and Genderfluid, and Lesbian! I am happy that they accept me

[@annie_sourcandy3934]

That’s great!!

[@MsDickerz]

proud of you!!!

[@shtary]

@@MsDickerz Thank you :)

[@addyd3238]

good luck to everyone planning to come out! you can do this besties! i love all of you!!

[@MsDickerz]

YESSSS

[@alexandragarcia-xf3kh]

I came out on accident when I was drunk 😂

[@MsDickerz]

hahah aw that can happen!

[@muffinwitharibbon]

lmfao-

[@noellschulte1418]

Your drunk brain probably said sober I can't but drunk I can people I'm [insert something]

[@ssunflower18]

Dutchy: “You might want to come out to your dog, your fish.” Me: “Hey Raspberry (my fish)... I’m a lesbian”

[@edalynclawthorne2415]

Made me laugh! Also, Luz from TOH is your pfp holy crap. Have a great day person on the internet ✌

[@loop5307]

Aww raspberry 🥺

[@weezer_lover8000]

lol

[@Shae29]

I want to come out to my dad soon, but I can’t find the right time. I hope he’s understanding :) Edit: I just came out to him last night, and he was super supportive and happy :) hope that coming out for everyone else is the same ❤️

[@MsDickerz]

Fingers crossed for you lovely

[@Shae29]

@@MsDickerz thank you :))

[@Oliwiakinga]

Omg I so happy for you! 😊

[@Shae29]

@@CerddoriaethCymru thank you!

[@Shae29]

@@Oliwiakinga thank you!

[@yourfellowstranger4726]

Who else is waiting to move out not talk to your family for a year and then come to the family reunion with your girlfriend / boyfriend and be like “did I ever tell u I was gay???”

[@abigail_cc5845]

Hahah yes

[@blackrozu_7747]

I have came out to my direct family but not my....Very religious relatives.So this will be good help.Thank you Dutchy!

[@MsDickerz]

Here for you always!

[@blackrozu_7747]

OMG YOU REPLIED- WAIT YOUR MY BICON-(bi icon) MY DREAM HAS COME TRU OMG- *intense happy dance*

[@sharstic2929]

my goal this year is to feel more confident in my identity and myself

[@evie-gracewallace1166]

Loving the new set up hopefully coming out to family soon

[@MsDickerz]

thank you :) yayyy good luck with everything!!

[@charlotte6887]

If anyone sees this my only tip is coming out over messages is SOO amazing it is so comfortable I told my friends this way I even told one through a Instagram question box I just told her and waited for the response it was like I wasn’t directly telling her and it was amazing totally recommend if you are comfortable :) and if u see this i hope you are supported and if u aren’t remember I support you and so many people out there do

[@awesomenessiswelcomed]

Thank you, Dutchy. The only people who don't know is my school, my friends, my classmates and my teachers. My mom and my aunts know and support me

[@thedailyshaver1171]

Those plants in the background in the video like being Lgbtq+

[@MsDickerz]

they do be vibin'

[@ellengomm6972]

_They reproduce asexually _

[@aBbY-im4uo]

I love the new set up it’s very aesthetic. This has really helped me get the courage to come out to my family ( I already told them I am gay but now I am non binary and I’ve been kinda scared to tell them but this helped a lot) thanks 🙏🏼

[@jenna._bash]

18:07 I needed to hear this last point. Thank you so much 🌈🥰

[@lauragrace911]

i’m so early :))) just looking for some inspiration to come out even tho i’ve been in the closet for four years, don’t know if i’ll be able to come out soon

[@starberri6477]

My parents who im not out to came in my room while i was watching this...... 👀😳🥺😶

[@mars_starz420]

YASS!!! DUTCHY IS BACK! Also what’s your podcast called?

[@keiramcgowan]

Her podcasts called topics of taboo

[@mars_starz420]

@@keiramcgowan thanks

[@abbieyarish4065]

Thank you so much for this! My goal is also to come out this year, and thank you for saying you never have to use a label. So awesome!!!!!

[@zoecain6625]

I might come out to my uncle and his fiance in the summer when I visit them for my birthday! 😁💜

[@noahsherrill8469]

I came out as gay to a friend in 8th grade (well forced) and my dad hated me. But a year later I realized I was bisexual. Now I’m a senior in high school who just came out as bi to my family after JoJo Siwa came out.

[@that.movie_geek2641]

You’ve helped me so much this year ever since I got a boyfriend I know I won’t come out but I still watch this to support you keep up the great work

[@selfmadetray5836]

Why are you waiting your boyfriend time if you know your not attracted to him when he can date someone for long term

[@indigo-creates-chaos]

I'm from Germany, nobody here that I know knows Ellen DeGeneres lol but it's fine my parents said they'd accept me if I were to come out at some point and some of my friends are part of the community and out to my other friends (I think that is grammatically correct). Just not sure how I'm a part of the community yet, but I'll figure that out eventually. Till then good luck to everyone who is ready to come out, hope it goes well! Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

[@indigo-creates-chaos]

@@Soph-TV I think that very much depends on the person and their beliefs, as it does everywhere. Since you are her best friend, you probably know best if she'd be accepting or not. And if you are not sure you could use one of dutchys tips and test the waters.

[@a123l4]

Thank you so much for making this! It made my night. It would be awesome if you could do a follow up video on how specifically to test the waters :)

[@lordhelpwilliam]

This video really helped, I came out to my grandma not that long ago, I tested the waters by telling her about my friend (He’s ftm). She was just a little confused at first but she was really understanding and happy to learn how their pronouns work. She was super supportive! I feel so confident about my identity!

[@nesie.noodles6541]

YAY DUTCHY UPLOADED CHEERS! also, dutchy just wondering, when is the part two of "childhood signs my subscribers were lgbtq+" coming out? (pun very much intended)

[@oofoofoofityoof]

I was 12 when I figured out I was lesbian, I knew my mother would be supportive given I was essentially raised around lgbtq people but that didn’t stop me from being nervous but I had already come out as aro/ace a year before. I came out to my mother by dropping hints like saying “oh she’s so pretty” while watching tv I eventually just told her and she said “from when you were 2 I’ve had a feeling you would either like women or nobody. I honestly would have been more surprised if you said you had a boyfriend.” I came out to most of my friend group by sending them a meme and the other’s I told in person. I’m still not officially out to my father I’ve dropped more hints than ever I sent him the song girls like girls with the caption “I love this song the lyrics are so relatable” and he still didn’t say anything I am a lesbian and I may also somewhere on the aspec.

[@fuzbeare6143]

Dutchy is amazing she has helped me so much just wish I could thank her :>

[@TheWeirdKid2008]

Hello, thank you for making this video. I came out as pan in December and now I’m starting to realise I’m omni and now I need to come out to my parents again and this video has helped me thank you so much 😺

[@ashlynn1732]

I'm planning on coming out as trans before June, thank for your tips! lots of people need these tips

[@NaomiInTheHouse]

I see that this was 7 months ago, I hope it went well.😁✌💜 I'm planning on comming out as bigender hopefully before 2022. I tryed it today. But I was to afraid to talk.😕

[@starberri6477]

Sooo i just sent a text saying im bi and thats all i have to say goodbye and my brother says he still loves me 🙃 im so happy

[@kashmere901]

Just had to look at this was looking at other coming out videos because I was confused for a while about my sexuality so I am just taking my time to figure out who am I really attracted to and telling few people. Like I know I am between 2 sexualites but I got to know which one I really am. So just a matter of time about this but so worth it to just take my time. I am glad I saw this video! 💕💕

[@soph8249]

ahhh i love this! i recently realised i was queer/unlabelled and this is such an awesome video! i love you for this! xo ✨

[@yaaasqweenonfleck5014]

Same

[@DaHarve]

That is one thing that annoys me. How people say you cannot identify as gay or lesbian etc. If you are young/ 13- . You know who you are and no matter what anyone says your gender identify or sexual orientation will not change.

[@mj.kellea]

my closet is very warm I’ll stay here for a little bit💗💜💙

[@blackishpink016]

I really want to come out, but my current situation is not making it easy. I’ve had crushes on girls since I was in third grade, and I knew I was a lesbian since high school, when I was in college I accidentally kind of came out and brought my then girlfriend home and my mother freaked out and told me she will disown me, so I was back in the closet again and my mother now is very much in denial. She hated it. So, I never brought it up. I still didn’t come out to my family. My close college friends know I am a lesbian, one high school friend, one med school friend and very, very few colleagues. Now, I am a medical doctor, I can’t bring myself to come out since I’m afraid it will tarnish my reputation and career, since I am living in the Philippines which is a Catholic country and not really a big fan of LGBTQ+. But don’t get me wrong, I am still a Catholic and I love my religion, sans the judgment of homosexuals. It just really frustrates me that I can’t be open being a lesbian as I want. I am considering migrating to another country and just be free there as I am.

[@RNBWYS]

I came out as a lesbian to my mom when I was only 10

[@rekimeki8070]

Lol how did that happen

[@RNBWYS]

@@rekimeki8070 idk- I didn’t know what a lesbian was I just said “hey mom what does it mean if a girl likes a girl?” And then I just said “cause I like girls not boys” and then she was just like “oh- uhm- ok-“

[@rekimeki8070]

@@RNBWYS xD Is she accepting?

[@RNBWYS]

@@rekimeki8070 yeah- it turns out she was actually pan 😳

[@jeanetteviera9100]

Me,who just turned 10 might come out to my mom in a few more weeks or somethin:💧👁️👄👁️

[@helena6230]

Me and one of my best friends both came out to eachother as bisexual by chat and ngl that was the best decision I ever made. Now we´re planning to come out to the other two people in our friendgroup. Good look to everybody else who is planning to come out this year too

[@yourfriendlyneighbourhoodr8924]

It took me a while to figure out my sexuality and I’ve accepted that and just saying to myself that it will probably change has helped so much.

[@dobbysleftsock2701]

me in october: i’m gonna come out on my 13th birthday because it’s like months away and i should be ready by then me today (4 days after my birthday): ehh should i wait till school starts again? probably me when school starts again: let’s wait till christmas 😀 probably me in 5 years: should i wait till i’m 20 to come out?

[@gummybearz5451]

Same I’m waiting til I find a gf then I’ll just date her and my fam will figure it out

[@dobbysleftsock2701]

@@gummybearz5451 heh that’ll probably be me

[@ScriptCatz]

Honestly, i relate way to much

[@afbahjfa]

lmfao relatable 😭😭

[@francescaaboon]

hey! since i can see that you were young when you knew (12 right?) how do you know if it’s the right age or i’m just confused. i’m young too and i’m bi but i want to come out to my family :)

[@nadia.1177]

I couldn't make it to this Premier, but I will most likely be at the next one! Great video and great tips 👍 Thanks for taking time out of your days to make me and many other people happy by watching your videos! ❤️

[@moved768]

i came out to my mum and just started it off saying “i am a part of the lgbtq community” and then she just said “oh, alright.” and i said “i like boys and girls” and she said “oh okay. i love you no matter what and also don’t listen to the ones who say it’s a phase or say anything rude about it” and i felt way more reliefed after that.

[@moved768]

that was yesterday night and i’m kinda scared about how i’ll tell my other family members.

[@Its.Froggy]

Thank you so much! I can’t wait to come out

[@leoniertz8152]

Can you please make a video on how to test the waters before coming out? That would help a lot.

[@stephanieb2946]

It's like you knew what I needed

[@weezer_lover8000]

i came out yesterday ty dutchy

[@yumi-fn8ve]

I know I'm only coming out through text on my way to college in a far away country like Japan but it's nice to watch this :3

[@melissaengstrom2020]

I’m really scared to tell my grandparents they mean the world to ma and I don’t know what I would do if they did not approve of me. They are extremely religious. what do I do

[@MsDickerz]

It can be really difficult! Test the waters :)

[@brucelittlejohn1323]

Idk but good luck and stay safe x

[@user-ue3pl2gf4o]

something i learned from some friends is: 1: parents probably won’t care as much as you think 2: your always going to have a friend that supports you 3: never pretend that you’ve already come out 4: make sure your parents aren’t mad at you in the pest couple of days 5: make sure your at a good point in your life 6: don’t make it dramatic or suspenseful 7: don’t make your sexuality a personality trait 8: Don’t just blurt out your sexuality/gender to everyone. Come out to certain people at certain times 9: Try and get peoples opinions about your sexuality but do it stealthy 10: you can’t force it out. 11: Consider the benefits of staying in the closet and vice versa 12: The more support you get, the more your confidence grows 13: this is kinda controversial but try and come out to the closest person too you first. Or someone you know will support you. Personally i think i’d rather come out to my parents. 14: The more you think/plan about the more anxious you get and the less chance you’ll actually come out 15: if your gay and your not sure if your parents will support you, say your bi. This way in their head they’ll think there’s a chance you’ll ‘date straight’ 16: Don’t ever self harm if your parents don’t accept your sexuality 17: Don’t expect to be happy right away 18: If people say they don’t support the lgbtq community they’re opinion a lot of the time change when they find out someone close to them is in the community. 19: don’t sweat it you got it 20: You’ll be happy eventually. Never forget that I really hope that helped some of y’all. I haven’t come out yet but that’s what my friends taught me. Good luck to all of you!!!!

[@sibyllineichor]

Preparing to come out to my brother, this helped a lot!! I’m pretty anxious about this, but I’m ready now..I think-

[@Ellie-vt9vo]

I love this video. But I will wait till it's safe lol.

[@that.movie_geek2641]

I might tell my neighbor because her son was gay and she was sportive and she is my best friend should tell her?

[@hollysmith7963]

I just come out as bi to all my friends last week by saying that there’s a line a semi circle and circle and said that I’m a semi circle 😀 they all caught on and like 5 of them said same?? Fun

[@Kdgmr-ib2jp]

That made my day 🤣

[@mw1838]

So helpful. I have decided to come out to my classes/teachers in 2 days. Wish me luck 😬

[@swampybompy6142]

I’ve got a weird idea of coming out. Walking to the front door, shouting “MOTHER IM A BISEXUAL NON-BINARY” then bolting out the door.

[@gamejar8854]

i know this was 6 months ago but please tell me you did it

[@guraswetpizza2105]

Instead of coming out, my parents found out my relationship with my girlfriend themselves . It didn't work out pretty well, lol. My parents, especially my mom, was so mad at me. She slapped me, and asked me to whether choose my family or my girlfriend. Since I live in a very conservative country, it is really hard to continue my relationship with my girlfriend. My family made me go to a psychologist to turn me "normal". Now, I am still confused whether I should choose my family or my girlfriend. I really want to have a happy relationship with my girlfriend, but I know it is really hard for us to continue our relationship since my mom would see through my phone to make sure I don't communicate with my girlfriend. I just wish I would die. Thanks for making time to read my story. I hope all of you wouldn't have to experience this ❤️. Sorry if i made mistakes with my grammar. English is not my first language

[@pez3416]

Tyyy dutchy! Your amazing

[@marcusreuben4865]

Hi Dutchy, awesome that you’re back, don’t worry about having a week off it’s all good. We all still love you 🧬🏳️‍🌈

[@w3nd1g04]

Hi! I don’t really know if I’m bi or pan and I’m still figuring out my true gender so this helps! I’m still not sure if I’m Demi for not so this give me reassurance that no matter what I do it’s my choice!

[@mangoes920]

I L O V E this channel, she is so accepting and nice 😊 ❤️❤️

[@Sophie-yi9om]

I have a wonderful friend who is my biggest supporter right now of the three people i told.

[@zacharydylan3608]

Maybe this year will be the year

[@AleesatheIsraeli]

Dont be afraid of luv.

[@taylorlero1378]

i just came out as gay, dimiboy,and ace

[@goldenbreeze2315]

Congrats man! ❤️❤️❤️

[@taylorlero1378]

@@goldenbreeze2315 think you

[@Justrxby2763]

Congrats!

[@taylorlero1378]

@@Justrxby2763 think you

[@squishmallowsforlife9612]

My closet is cozy too ❤️❤️

[@emmyloucrozer698]

Thank u so much for this video it really helped me come out as lesbian to my parents

[@pumpkinbumpkin767]

YES my friend is a lesbian and she is asking me how to come out to her mum and boyfriend, I already came out to her boyfriend and he is cool with it but she still wants to keep the relationship bc she doesn’t want to hurt his feelings. I told her to test the waters before coming out to her mum and she asked me how. It would be really helpful if you made a video like that 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[@abigail_cc5845]

Help her learn about comphet compulsory heterosexuality as she’s pleasing male views which is wet that she doesn’t want to hurt him but it’s around comp het haha

[@savvy3831]

I came out to my mom today and shes completely fine with it Lmao She asked me "are you sure? And i said yes, She thinks I'm confused cuz I'm only 17 but I'm not. It was hilarious.😂

[@giant.stephs]

I said "I love how if you are part of a minority group, you can make fun of that minority group." And then I told a ton of gay jokes you until they got it.

[@moonyloops]

oh my god i love this

[@Justrxby2763]

I want to come out as ace to my bsf tomorrow. I'm ready and she's really supportive. I'm just scared that she might say that I'm too young (I'm 13) to know.

[@kanamarii]

ive been really strongly considering coming out as transmasc nb to my mum first, because being deadnamed and misgendered is super pressuring to me :) i think my mum might be accepting.. i have something planned out but this still helped me a lot

[@jamieh2099]

3:15 It's so funny when you go 'whoosh' but forget to put in the transition hahaha

[@GalaxyKittie217]

I’m a 12 year old bisexual, wondering how to come out to my mum. I know she’ll support me, but it’s just HELLA SCARY

[@vinialves7062]

My country is EXTREMELY homophobic. I plan on coming out (I'm a gay male) next year.

[@Shae29]

also where did you get your necklace from? xx

[@MsDickerz]

It's a Tiffany & co necklace :)

[@Shae29]

@@MsDickerz thanks!

[@blahblahblah1267]

love this!

[@DaHarve]

I want to but don’t know how to and how to gain the confidence to

[@melonfrog8470]

I’m gonna try to come out this week!

[@anubisflx716]

Good luck!

[@malina_schlt3561]

Who should I come to first? Family or friends? I think they are all chill

[@walnesblanc]

Hello dutchy and have you seen wonderwomen 2 movie and to all the boys i’ve love movie and coming 2 america movie and marvel wandavision show and bridgerton show on nextflix and what do you think of the super bowl game and the halftime show with the weekend couple weeks ago

[@brucelittlejohn1323]

AMAZING !

[@bennyboy6262]

I’ve been in the closet for 5 months and the assumption that I’m straight is driving me nuts I think I might come out as gay soon

[@evab4514]

I'm mostly out, the main thing for me is that I'm not sure if my grandparents know. I know for a fact that the rest of my immediate family knows and so do all of my friends. I've never tried to hide it, but I also never went out of my way to come out to my grandparents so I'm not sure if they know. I want them to, but I feel like if I say something about it, it needs to be casual in case they know so it's not super awkward or anything. I'm thinking about showing them a picture of how I decorated my room at my dad's house (I just moved and I hung up a lesbian flag) but idk

[@izzyleigh.12]

i came from ur 2018 one.. didnt expect one from yesterday-

[@jedirydergaming9555]

I did come out to a few of my good friends but not to my family yet. I come from a pretty old school type of family and their mentality on Bisexuality is, not great :/ Thanks for the video

[@caydenvanbrunt7802]

Please do a vid on how to test the waters I really need help

[@NaomiInTheHouse]

Me getting a massage, and watching this video. Video: Thanks Karen.😂 It just made me laugh.😂

[@nathaliekruger8613]

I'll come out as bisexual in about an hour to my cousin bc it's my birthday and I'm soooo nervous bc it's my first coming out I'm literally shaking

[@ChaoticCaitlin1]

I finally came out to my mum a couple of days ago

[@AleesatheIsraeli]

My wife is pregnant Dutchy luv is everything ..heard our Daughters heart beat 😳❤. I cried my wife is 12 weeks I love to sleep holding our my wifes belly...

[@mori2592]

I feel like i was robbed of coming out because my social media name and content was about me being lgbtqai+ and my family found it and talked to me about it. I wanted to wait, they were supportive but i was upset. At the time i wasnt fully comfortable and still and slightly uncomfortable about it. Im slightly sad

[@selfmadetray5836]

I lowkey want to be robbed cause I'm just too scared to do it myself 😭

[@milanyarussell1813]

Hey dutchy I need a bit help coming out yo my female crush

[@MsDickerz]

Hiiii!! Sure what advice do you need? :)

[@lulustar8160]

Ok, so I came out to my bestie a little bit ago as bi and then came out to them as gay yesterday and I don’t know how to come out to my parents and am rlly scared but wish me luck!

[@selfmadetray5836]

I almost went same route with saying I'm bi cause it makes people more comfortable, but I'm just gonna say I'm fully gay

[@KatDeFish]

So I told my friends I was lesbian over text, and I found out that they are bi

[@sophiescott6926]

Thank you so much I’m going to tell my cat bc of u thanks

[@lacie.rose1824]

I came out to my sister a week ish ago. I had already told my 2 friends (who are also gay so no big deal) and my cousin. I new that my sister would accept me and I’m to the point where I just want people to know. But I feel like I might have told my sister/cousin too soon because like what if I’m wrong and then they wont understand when I’m like “oh yeah never mind I’m actually straight” and now idk I’m so confused.