How to Heal Abandonment Issues (with Gabor Maté)

[@mariellarobles3372]

From the age of 12 till the age of 19 my mom was not a part of my life I had told my dad that her brother in law molested me and she called me a liar and slapped me. I distanced myself from her and she disappeared from our lives for 7 years during that time I helped my dad care for my siblings. My dad remarried and his wife was not loving to us and I moved out and rarely talked to him once he remarried. My mom defended my child molester till his death. Adapting to trauma was a way of life for me. My sister became an alcoholic and homeless and that was another blow to deal with and she had a accident and ended up with a traumatic brain injury and she passed away in 2018. My parents weren't very helpful after her accident. All this pain was unbearable. I don't think deep trauma goes away.I tried to spare my kids as much as possible.

[@funkibloo3811]

I'm so sorry...

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

I'm so sorry for all you've been through. It’s incredibly brave of you to share your story. The pain you've faced, from your mom's actions to losing your sister, is unimaginable. It’s understandable that you feel deep trauma doesn't just go away. Your strength in caring for your siblings and trying to protect your own kids is truly admirable. Please remember, it's okay to seek support and take care of yourself. You deserve healing and peace.

[@mariellarobles3372]

@@yourinnerchildmatters thank you I am working through all the negative issues in my life to lighten my heart and mind I feel I am recovering on a daily 💜🌼💐

[@mariellarobles3372]

@@funkibloo3811 thanks for your compassion 💐

[@yourconnection9303]

I wish you healing and strength.❣️

[@PaigeSquared]

I tried to tell my ex husband how important it was that he is kind, in front of our child. He would not take it seriously. So now he is my ex husband. Our children are the furture. Safety and love are the bare minimum, not some extra cherry on top for the specially privileged.

[@kathleendinsmore7588]

What you say is so true!

[@earthsign7568]

good job! Priorities.

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

I appreciate your commitment to ensuring a safe and loving environment for your children. They deserve the best.

[@robynhope219]

Stop calling him psychologist...it is a LIE!​@@yourinnerchildmatters

[@outnow333]

This man is the first person whose insight, knowledge and intuitive wisdom has helped me come to know and heal the broken parts of myself ....from my healed heart I thank you Gabor Mate 🙏 💖

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you for sharing this beautiful message! It’s inspiring to see how Gabor Mate’s work resonates with so many people and helps them he

[@lovesings2us]

This is quite interesting and helpful to me. Thank you. At the same time, it's not really about "how to heal from deep abandonment pain," which is the title. It's about what causes that sort of pain. Is there a video with Dr Gabor that's mostly focussed on how to heal from deep abandonment pain? If so, I'd love to know the name of the video. Thank you.

[@robynhope219]

No, he hasn't healed himself, so cannot tell us how to heal.

[@Simplesimple123]

@@robynhope219how do you know

[@venanziocalise946]

Various therapies and a change needed in society is needed.

[@SB4E.2]

He says, mindfulness, bringing the unconscious to the conscious. In his example…he was angry at wife at airport, he could go on and express that poorly. Have a fight about it. Or- by using mindfulness… realize it’s the old wound of feeling abandoned, feel it, don’t judge it, let the triggered feeling pass…then, reframing from that awareness, to-his wife is not his mother, nor that past situation, his wife is not abandoning him… she loves him and just is running late. Practice that a lot and eventually it becomes natural and organic response. The brain relearns. The trigger lessens…you trust again. As you were made and wired to be.

[@lovesings2us]

@@venanziocalise946 Thank you. I really appreciate your awareness of "a change needed in society" as part of the solution.

[@earthsign7568]

If you were abandoned as an infant ie. left in your crib for hours alone, not held, touched, rocked or soothed, then this would have been life threatening and you will feel it deeper than 'emotional pain.'

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you for sharing your insight on the deep effects of early childhood experiences.

[@PaigeSquared]

Emotional pain can feel like life or death

[@earthsign7568]

@@PaigeSquared That may be the case but people need to understand the difference btwn. abandonment that IS life threatening vs. that which is not.

[@robynhope219]

That's what happened to me...I had to fight for my survival...and this feeling never goes away.

[@robynhope219]

​@@earthsign7568for an infant it would be life threatening

[@iloveyoufromthedepthofmyheart]

And also he misrepresents narcissism. Narcissists can also be made by overly spoiling the child, putting him/her on a pedestal, not just by neglecting their needs.

[@user-zy1co9hy9m]

He focuses on attachment issues. Hes not saying that’s the only way narcissists are created. But truth be told, narcissists are truly insecure, so therefore they usually have attachment wounds. Not just praised too much

[@SB4E.2]

He is saying children are here. He’s not referring to adults. That’s what I heard.

[@scottmckenna9164]

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

thank you for watching

[@waltersobchak7275]

When I was little like 5 everyone around me left . My dad my brother sister aunt. All within a year’s time. After that, I would sit up at night and pray that my mom was going to leave too. I did that every night for years and years. No abuse just the constant worrying. My mother was a saint. Then when she passed away I medicated and I never stopped. 30 years almost now. I never learned how to deal with painful situations. Sad to say the substance is the only thing that’s ever been there for me. Every time. Must look twisted from the outside looking in.

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you so much for sharing your story. It takes so much courage to open up about something so deeply personal, and I truly appreciate you trusting this space with your feelings. It’s clear that you’ve been carrying a heavy weight for a long time, and it’s understandable that the loss and worry you experienced shaped how you coped. You were so young when those painful moments began, and it’s heartbreaking to think of a child sitting with those fears night after night. Please know that what you’re feeling isn’t "twisted"-it’s human. We all find ways to survive when life feels overwhelming, even if those ways don’t serve us as well in the long run. The fact that you’re reflecting on this now shows strength and self-awareness, and that’s a powerful step forward. I hope you can give yourself some grace. You’ve been through so much, and healing doesn’t have a timeline or a “right way.” If you ever feel ready, there are people and resources out there who can walk this path with you and help you discover new ways to find comfort and strength. You’re not alone in this. Sending you love and hugsss. You deserve peace and hope. ❤️

[@ianmack5068]

Great insights and profound thoughts right here

[@ferngoodman9163]

This is sooooo good! Thank you Dr Mate.

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you for your kind words!

[@ferngoodman9163]

@yourinnerchildmatters and thank u for your channel and efforts

[@allisonewens4036]

Powerful reminder of attachment needs and the importance of knowing this in my own life been life changing and so healing for me ❤❤

[@carabanana3938]

Just love gabor . I could listen to him all day 😊

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you so much for your kind words! It means a lot to know you’re enjoying Dr Gabor’s insights!

[@bingoandtoto]

your contents are so focusing on the point. SOOOOOO helpful. Thanks, dear.

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you so much for your kind words! It means a lot to know the content is making a difference for you!

[@gabrielmackay5749]

Thank you for this ❤

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you for watching and taking the time to comment!

[@TheMysterySkool]

Thanks 🙏

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

You’re welcome 😊

[@funkibloo3811]

Thank you. ❤

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

I appreciate your gratitude!

[@RichaChauhandreams]

This is the story of my life so far🙏🙏 Thank you Dr Mate , i can have a fresh perspective Now ❤

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience! It's amazing to hear that the video resonated with you and helped you see things differently.

[@samueltekalign4919]

Thank you!

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

thanks for watching!

[@LOD50]

I love Dr. Mate but most videos are not solution based. More descriptions of why but I really would love to hear more about how to grow. Thanks anyway. ❤

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

I appreciate your feedback!

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

In this powerful video, renowned psychologist Dr. Gabor Maté shares his insights on healing deep abandonment issues. He delves into the root causes of these issues and offers practical techniques for building resilience and finding inner peace. If you or someone you know struggles with abandonment issues, this video is a must-watch. Dr. Maté's expert perspectives on psychology and health education will provide valuable insights and actionable advice for overcoming these challenges. Don't miss out on this transformative discussion! #DrGaborMaté, #ChildhoodTrauma, #AbandonmentIssues, #AbandonmentTrauma, #InnerHealing, #Resilience, #Mindfulness, #AttachmentTheory, #EmotionalWellBeing, #ImplicitMemories

[@robynhope219]

STOP calling him psychologist..he is a retired GP with an interest in psychology.

[@Catweazle2]

Herzlichen Dank! ❤

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you so much!

[@annetteroick6406]

And how to heal this pain please? This is the important question and not solved in the Video! ???

[@robynhope219]

Of course it isn't. He dances around issues without solving any.

[@cabecass]

You hold space for the difficult emotion and reparent the inner child by giving it what it needs in that moment.

[@cabecass]

There are some inner child meditations on here that are really helpful.

[@annetteroick6406]

@@cabecass thank you so much for your answer !!!

[@josephtein3835]

I've heard many talks by Gabor and have learned a lot from him. These insights I've gained make me think that the incident of being given away by his mother when he was a baby cannot be the only traumatic experience that traumatized him and affected his addictions, workaholism, rage and ADHD that he describes (so honestly and openly) in his talks. Did his parents meet all of his needs for bonding and authentic feeling expression during the rest of his growing up? Probably not if they were like the average traumatized members of their community. In his talks about Israel, Gabor mentions that his father threw him out of the house for writing an article that he didn't approve of. Is this unconditional acceptance of Gabor's authentic self-expression? Not exactly. Probably a pattern that operated on some level during Gabor's growing up, not necessarily leading to being kicked out of the house each time. I've learned a lot from listening to Gabor's talk which has helped me to see how my parents limited my own self-expression ... as well as helping me understand them and not resenting them any longer for what they unknowingly did.

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you for sharing your reflections on Dr Gabor's talks. It's profound how our upbringing shapes our experiences and understanding. Your insights about parental relationships and self-expression are really valuable.

[@josephtein3835]

@@yourinnerchildmatters And I appreciate your attention and response!

[@iloveyoufromthedepthofmyheart]

He didn't said HOW to heal it? Or did I miss it?

[@BA-ei7tl]

Grieve it. To heal it.

[@tintswalomashamba3744]

05:47 - 07:07, 08:12🥹🥹❤️‍🩹

[@robynhope219]

I'd like to know if Gabe overcame his abandonment issues...bc if he still talks about it, he didnt.

[@bridgetbrown8123]

To help others?

[@robynhope219]

@@bridgetbrown8123 He is not actually helping...he is just talking about issues.

[@boooootch]

Good Lord. Really?

[@user-zy1co9hy9m]

He may not have. doesn’t change his profound work on attachment issues

[@robynhope219]

@@bridgetbrown8123 he is lining his pockets with 💰 with others' work.

[@earthsign7568]

"Memory is energy" -Altered States, the movie.

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thanks for sharing that quote, it's definitely thought-provoking.

[@bodilgreibe9499]

🌹🌹🌹

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

thanks for watching!

[@earthsign7568]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/j33OZ2OJbpKSepI Bessel Van Der Kolk: Your Body Keeps The Score (holds the trauma/shock)

[@KsK-p7o]

💖

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

thanks for watching

[@lillimay5]

Seems trauma informed. Nice music going along and then hits you with unnecessary political trauma in min 3. This isn’t enlightenment.

[@Chelzebelles]

😹😹😹

[@boooootch]

Your comment seems trauma informed. The entirety of a message like this is completely lost in some sort of triggered outrage about some guy who’s going to be dead in five years.

[@jamesbarrett9066]

Trump hardly just thinks about himself or he would not be sacrificing his Presidential salary to the homeless Veterens funds, he cares about Americans and stands for American principles.

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you for sharing your perspective! It's important to have conversations about the things that matter to our country and its people.

[@boooootch]

LOLOL.

[@zovalentine7305]

NOW is the best time The past is gone The future is not here

[@earthsign7568]

The past is NOT gone in childhood survivors of neglect/brutality. It's in you, your body and soul until and if you can heal. Yours is a dangerous, naive and trite attitude that gets survivors into a lot of trouble.

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you for the reminder to live in the present and make the most of every moment.

[@yourinnerchildmatters]

Thank you for sharing your perspective. It's important to acknowledge the lasting effects of neglect and brutality and work towards healing.

[@robynhope219]

She is always trite!​@@earthsign7568

[@robynhope219]

​@@earthsign7568👍👍👍👍👍👍

[@zovalentine7305]

Gabor Mate MD PhD CM ❤

[@Lynn-jl2yz]

pls quit the political commentary and stick to childhood trauma!!!!

[@DeeDee-el8bd]

true!

[@venanziocalise946]

Who are you talking too?

[@boooootch]

MAGA alert: any criticism of Dear Leader is not to be tolerated. But attacks towards the other side are perfectly acceptable.

[@susanwiltshire1458]

That's untrue I don't trust this man

[@venanziocalise946]

What are you talking about?

[@anthonymalgas260]

If he is just scroll on and listen to something that's according to your view is true.