How To Make And Maintain Friendships As An Adult

[@trudysenglishvictorianhome3244]

These are such great tips! I struggle ALOT with making friends! Always have! I am most of the time reaching out to check in on others. But rarely are those Connections reaching out to me. I have withdrawn ALOT lately because of the hurt and rejection! I find people are just too busy that honestly they don't care. It makes me so sad as I would love to have some deep and thoughtful friendships. I'm in my mid fifties and I think it does get harder as you get older.

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

This is so common! You’re not alone I promise. Got everything crossed you find your right people which I’m sure you will xx

[@darlenechandler2403]

I have found the same thing. I am always reaching out and some people are nice and others even though call and text and we do get together, and we have been friends for years, but as I got older, they don’t make the effort, only when it suits them. I now try and make news friends that are more connecting and kind. I have a full life and always have of travel, work related activities and keep very positive and good energy. I have a group now who we meet weekly, new friends and a book club and always a pleasant get together, all positive so I have left behind the negative friends. Sometimes it is good too to have a nice meal out by yourself or coffee and just observe others. I tend to meet lots of new people that way.

[@jackiewilliams6052]

I love this video. At 36, no kids my long time friends are at a different place in their lives. I always reach out and a few come back, they are the golden ones when you catch up no matter how long since it’s like you’ve never been apart. But after losing my best friend at 29 to cancer there’s been a void in my heart. I’ve had work friendships, tried BBF Bumble but never had those stereotypical girls girl friendships that you see in movies.

[@finding_a_purpose]

Oh Jessica. I wrote notes during this. I think that says a lot. I had a friendship break down over 18 months ago. And it was devastating. Certainly the worst break up I’ve ever had. I walked away from the best friend I have ever had. And I know I did what I had to do. But I have been so lonely. Onwards though…I have my notes…I will make some affirmations. One day I will make progress. Thank you for this xx

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Oh looooooove ❤️❤️❤️ I know it hurts so much. Our friendships are sacred. It’ll be ok I promise xx

[@dianaydu]

I also broke up with a group of friends last year because the energy has become the opposite of nourishing to me so I had to do it, but it was a devastating loss nonetheless, so I hear you and I see you. I agree with Jessica, affirmations can do wonders, also I allowed myself the time to go through the Five stages of grief.

[@carolineramage7480]

Can I ask why you had to leave. I left a friendship after 33 years. I felt I was being judged about chronic problems I had in my life. The straw that broke the camels back was she said to me at my absolute lowest point, "something big is going down there, I better keep away". What the???!!! Wouldn't you ask, can I help?! I would.

[@kazziesopinions]

What would you do if you have toxic friend within a group? I don’t really want to lose all the friends in the group but find this one person draining, negative and controlling

[@carolineramage7480]

@@kazziesopinions I wonder if the other members of the group find her the same? Probably. I wonder if talking to the others about it might help? If they support you, you might be able to bear up. It's a tough one. Good luck.

[@kirstydangerfield5347]

Reaching out and making the effort has clicked with me. Thank you Jessica. I think we can get so caught up in our lives, parts of it drift away and you have to keep on working at it to keep them in your stream x

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Absolutely!! Xx

[@lindagregoire8001]

One of my most cherished friendship was with a friend that was from a different generation. My best friend was 30 yrs older than me . I recently lost her , which was heartbreaking , but we spoke the “same language” . I’m an old soul sort of person and find myself drawn to older friends. They are more comfortable for me to be with . I do have friends closer to my age but we share many common experiences . To have a good friend , is to be a good friend . Of course my biological sisters are my very best friends , they have known me so well all my life and love me with all my flaws and help me laugh at my flaws . I find having a smaller circle of friends is better than having a lot of friends . We can have a lot of acquaintances but to have close friends is rare ❤ lastly as the joke goes , my dog must like my friends and my friends must like her 😊

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

oh I'm so sorry but how beautiful to have found such a special connection. I can feel the love from your words. Absolutely close friends are rare. We can only manage 5 of those absolute maximum. Dogs are the best judge of character! Hope is too haha xx

[@lindagregoire8001]

⁠@@JessicaRoseWilliamsif my dog likes you , you’re in haha

[@Khovland]

I really loved this episode and found it very helpful. I’m 39 and making friends is more challenging than ever. If anyone is in New York, reach out. ❤😊

[@chrissy1510]

Jessica, I just love your warmth, and wisdom. I have always struggled to make and maintain friends, and I guess being extremely shy, doesn’t really help! ❤

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Thank you! Yes, the introverted life doesn’t help. And then all the introverts end up being shy and quiet together so nobody connects- but it just takes one little spark. I think this is where apps are great because it’s not as scary as starting a conversation with someone in a cafe. You’ve got this!

[@creativelyconsciousUK]

Oh such an important topic Jess! Im feeling so let down and burnt out by friendships this last few years, I’m honestly just not even sure if I can be bothered anymore. I have agenda’d this in my mind for therapy. I don’t mind nice school run chit chats but anything on a deeper level is just very high risk. Interesting what you say about main character energy because it this really rings true - egos are a weird and wonderful thing. You know when you were younger and it was all just fun?! How do we make that happen later in life?! ❤❤

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

omg I am sooooooo tired of all this main character BS. We are not happy living our lives this way. It's totally egocentric and killing connection. I do know haha but I can often feel that way now too. I think the answer is to try and live in the moment and appreciate the magic in the every day. Also get rid of all that adult crap that doesn't make you happy. The expectations and status quo etc. It's ok to walk your own path xx

[@creativelyconsciousUK]

@@JessicaRoseWilliams this is a super smart and embodied way of looking at a complex topic. I feel very comforted by your words. Going to try the affirmations this week. 🥰

[@carolbullock]

Rejection is Redirection. Never thought of it like that. Makes so much sense. Lots of good advice . Thank you. I will be moving away from the area I am currently living in and will want to make new friends. X

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

It absolutely is! 🙌 and how exciting for you. So pleased you found value in what I’ve learned ❤️

[@martao.3547]

I love your videos, they are so calm and aesthetic. Congratulations on your move. I moved to Lyon a few years ago and went through all of this. Jessica, please make a video about your new capsule wardrobe for the summer. Best regards, Marta.

[@user-jo7xn5hf6b]

"we're supposed to lose two friends every time we get into a new relationship" the truth in this phrase hurt and made me reflect...

[@christinaj.7401]

It's so true what you are saying! Specially with the selfawareness. I experienced a lot of judgement because my life is different. I'm single and have no kids, I'm 42, but I want to enjoy my life. Some friends don't understand.... I would love to meet some new friends. I'm curious if here are some people from the south of germany, near Freiburg?

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Oh yes! The judgement can feel exhausting 🙈 especially if you’re just getting started with changes and need encouragement. It’s all projection though, but I’m sure you know that. You’re making people question themselves that’s all and it can feel very uncomfortable for them. They’re not aware of course. I hope there are some German friends here for you xx

[@ManikaTheStrangerWhoReads]

What a wonderful and insightful commentary with practical advices on adult friendship.

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

I’m so pleased you enjoyed it love ❤️❤️

[@JJ-yi2qo]

Thank you Dear one. Love this.

[@johannahoward-cofield8108]

This is almost a taboo subject. I think people are really worried to admit that they don't have many friends and as adults with busy lives friends are definitely not prioritised. I'm very guilty of not making the effort.

[@dianaydu]

Beautiful insights! I especially loved the ‘go slow’ part, and tell people what bothered me instead of ghosting. I am gen X with a much younger heart, mainly because I have a gen Z daughter. :) I think once we have done enough inner work and know how to nurture ourselves, we can get really good at being alone happily without feeling lonely, and friendships become nourishing energy exchanges I have with my friends and them to me. I usually go with how I feel and my intuition, and my friends generally share the following qualities (1) kind, (2) have done some inner work either in psychology or spirituality (3) someone who is aware of masculine and feminine energies and knows how to harmonize at least most of the time these energies both individually and collectively. I cannot do 100% yet :) What’s your key qualities are in a friend?

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Oh I just love all of this! Thank you for taking the time to share. My key qualities are someone kind, fun and non-judgemental ❤️

[@user-jo7xn5hf6b]

Hi! What do you mean with harmonizing masculine and feminine energy?

[@dianaydu]

@@user-jo7xn5hf6b Excellent question! I remember seeing Jessica’s posts on her Instagram about this topic, if you like, you can also read mine as well. This topic inspired much growth, so I am happy you are interested in exploring it. Best wishes!

[@katee7503]

Such good advice, thank you! ☺️

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

You're so welcome!

[@Kateebben]

Thank you for this video! I needed this right now. ❤

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

You are so welcome!

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

You are so welcome!

[@justonemorestitch]

❤ Thank you for sharing this video. I love the affirmation concept😊

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

You are so welcome!

[@aniakowalska3157]

I'm 46 now and it's just me and my 18y old daughter that i raised myself that is in coledge in another city now. No one else. Have no hope. I'm very sad every day and just trying to survive another day. I have never imagine my life like thet. It's nightmare.

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

I’m so sorry you’re having such a hard time ❤️

[@gkreyl8700]

Couldnt watch this. My bestie betrayed me two years ago. Still getting over it. I blocked and walked away. At this stage keeping my distance from everyone.

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Oh I am so sorry 🙈 this sounds absolutely awful for you. I know friendship heartbreak can be absolutely brutal. Sending you so much love ❤️

[@kaybentley3049]

Feel its much more difficult in your 60's, no more chats at the school gates etc and people just don't want to go out anymore since lockdown. The office is practically empty as everyone works from home, beginning to feel like a recluse and not by choice.....

[@alejandrorodriguez4189]

It’s harder to make friends when getting older and get rid of friends when younger because you’ve changed as a person

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Yes we’re always changing

[@PerfumedByTheSea]

Have you ever watched the You Tube channel French Vibes? I think you should make friends with her. She lives a slow simple life in the South of France! So think you should get yourself down there!

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

I haven’t. Thank you 🙏🏼

[@nonamenojane]

💕

[@lindaoregan9599]

I can say never ever try to make friends with someone who has a close sister. I tried this 3 times now, even my husband has 2 very close sister's and I never managed to get into their little klick. I recently tried again with 2 sisters but they are only interested in each other and one will not meet up without the other. It's easier to just stay on my. own.

[@SaraNovau]

I loved this video Jess! I am in my 30’s and it is a struggle to make friends, feels like people are very busy and are not willing to be as invested in a friendship as I might be. Many times I find myself reaching to people but many times it doesn’t go both ways. Thank you for touching in this topic, I also really believe that femenin friendships are really important 🩷

[@caporalemamandine643]

Good advices ! 🥰🤍

[@JessicaRoseWilliams]

Glad you think so!