How to make friends even if you're awkward af

[@jessbarry856]

This is amazing timing. I have felt lonely lately after a long period of feeling completely content in my own company. I am realizing that no amount of self-love can erase the need for genuine, intimate connection and community.

[@SassyL62]

let’s all make a fkn groupchat 😆💕

[@beckyte2631]

Yesss please!

[@basetsanaphuthego139]

I have been feeling like this so much recently ❤❤❤

[@maja3792]

@@SassyL62 yess plss

[@alongwithally]

@@maja3792 Well said love

[@shyanneb13]

“Are you in a life cycle or a death cycle?” as small talk is so Scorpio coded lol

[@simmpleenough]

“You have to genuinely f$ck with yourself in order to be unf$ckwithable in this world…” Can’t stop snapping my fingers. You spoke to me with that line, Hitomi.

[@RAPEDBYBLACKS]

Clapping is a micro aggression

[@gottadasha]

one of the best things that helped me build more confidence in conversations, especially small talk was to "warm up" by just complimenting strangers every day or every other day. 90% of the time they will truly appreciate the compliment and sometimes even say something kind back. This will help dissolve the fear of strangers/people meeting you with aggression.

[@Refiningforge]

Yess I did something like this where I smiled at every stranger walking opposite of me and it opened up so many avenues eventually because I gained confidence and became magnetic

[@DanielleGross]

OH i love this thank you

[@lilsoupangel]

so helpful!! Im going to try doing more of this❤️

[@elisanapoletano]

just the title is my vibe, glad that the extrovert introverts and awkward ones have a space in this world. peculiarities are what make us unique and overall part of this universal interconnectedness. thanks for bringing this subject x

[@aria彡]

totally agree! i've been feeling like the odd one out amongst my friends because of my social anxiety but at the same time, i'm craving deeper bonds and connecting with more people, so i've overall felt stuck not knowing what to do! i appreciate your take on it :)

[@jkeraw]

Yes❤

[@SnailTrailJay]

I thought before I clicked on this video “oh I wish I could make friends but it’s hard to find who I want to be friends with” and then I realized that that’s because as I’m acting like other people and masking my true self I’m being seen as other people by the people I want to be seen by if that makes sense. I’m autistic, so masking is a huge part of my persona, but I know that if I dropped it a little bit I’ll find other people like me and who want to talk about these types of things with me. Thank you for this

[@mackenziebecker8393]

Up at night, “why the fuck did I say ____” 😭😂😭😂 so real

[@mindfulfairy46]

"i'am letting people love now." love this so powerful.💌

[@tuneroro]

The adult diaper story had me crackin tf up lmaooo

[@jm_universe]

me too lmbo 😂😂😂

[@mubinahelac7395]

Me too 😂

[@SHAE141]

same lololololol

[@naanajb]

I love how you're radiating in this vid. also i want to point out something the took me a long time to learn as a self critical empath - awkwardness/bad vibes can also come from the OTHER person, it is not always your 'fault' (e.g. the awkward adult diaper situation, that was clearly a joke lol)

[@mink8137]

THANKS SO MUCH for the reminder that despite rejection, I am mine own source of happiness and security.

[@willswanson2145]

For me the hardest part has literally just been becoming aware of the negative self talk even occurring. I wasn’t even aware those self doubts were occurring. So for me to even consider “rewriting” that self talk I first had to develop presence of mind/awareness. This is where meditation came into play.

[@sophiebrowne]

needed this 🏹 i want to make deep genuine friendships. but i feel these days it’s hard to have a conversation with someone without gossip taking over. i feel like everyone just wants to talk bad about each other. does anyone else have this problem?? i don’t want to associate with this energy, how can i distance myself from it?

[@anaananas848]

Yees i have this problem as well, last year I ended 3 friendships because of that and now i have 0 female friends 😢 but i have my loving boyfriend and big familiy so my heart is full ❤❤

[@ellaviolettta]

@@anaananas848 i'm exactly the same as you!

[@suwenlin3736]

Can we be friends? 🥹

[@arabella4986]

ive been going through that too. i think what has helped me is redirecting the conversation to something genuine that either I've experienced or felt or something the other person has experienced or felt. like for example if they're judging how someone's outfit looked I might share a time I had a really silly outfit or compliment their outfit and ask them about it. i think it's important to be careful when you do this though, and really try to feel the vibe. if it feels like maybe they're gossiping because they just don't know what to talk about or out of habit, and there's room for deepening intimacy, maybe you could try to elevate the conversation! but if it feels like they're gossiping because they have hurtful intentions to bring others down, it's ok to let it go and trust that the right conversations and connections will come your way

[@sophiebrowne]

@@anaananas848 aw i’m so happy for you my love 💛💛

[@matrix2297]

Hitomi just knows how to phrase video headings perfectly

[@amaeveee]

"who you are is okay and worthy of love, and whatever your experience is, you are valid and deserving of being met with kindness" ♡

[@cartooneyed.]

Whenever I want to get to know someone I ask questions like „what did you eat for breakfast as a kid?“. When I’m in luv or when I start to like someone as a friend I always wonder about silly little details like what their favorite movie was as a teenager or what kind of music their parents listened too in their household. Or what candy they would pick at the gas station or in what sign Chiron is in in their birthchart. Or if they prefer satin over cotton. Or what their favorite plant is. Or about their past lives and star origin. Or what their lovelanguage is.

[@alma7la]

I love these questions, thank you for sharing! Some others I like to ask: "What would you do if you were not afraid?", "When do you trust someone?", "What viennoiserie do you want your friends to get you, the morning after the party?", "How do you see yourself?" and "What question would you want to be asked?" x

[@kshane105]

I’m impressed with how profound I ended up finding this video to be. I’m having trouble describing how. It’s like my gut reaction to everything proposed was closed off and judgmental, and if I took one second to think about how nice that suggestion would actually feel in the moment, I realized she was right. These are skills, she has them and I don’t lmao. It’s on me to open myself up, I think this vid is a true guidebook

[@chacurtis123]

Hitomi should release a social/spiritual questions card deck 💞

[@ro2974]

fr would love to see an affirmation/oracle deck ❤

[@nala6028]

ugh yesss

[@destinyamedu9576]

yessssssss

[@THEnicolelizabeth]

Something that helped me gain confidence, especially in my late teens/early 20s as I was headed into my own life without guardians, was that we are all in the same position. Whatever fear I'm feeling, others must be feeling too since we are all or have been in the same position at one point or another. That just put me out there to not really hold my tongue any more, and figure out how to navigate situations in my own skin as well as advocate for myself.

[@georgiegrace8391]

I really needed this 🥺 I lost an 8 year friendship and a few other friendships. I had given up making friends and felt defeated. I have been solely focusing on my lil family for the past year. I'm very introverted and have social anxiety, always feel like no one wants to be around me and that I'm not a verg good friend. I'm manifesting beautiful friendships in my future ✨️💕🌷

[@cartooneyed.]

Hitmoi, remember last summer when you posted about Jenna’s temple in LA? Because you posted I went there and met many beautiful people (some of them also came because of your recommendation). I‘m back in Germany now but I still send voice notes to my loves that I met there and we are all connected on ig. It’s really beautiful to meet unique people that carry different archetypical energies plus their own soul essence and to connect with them and find out who you are in their eyes. Through my friendships I reclaim myself and get inspired by life. It’s good to be surrounded by kind people who care about your art and about your wellbeing, and also who you can care about! (I love when people share their art with me, it’s such a love language) And the more love I share the more love I feel. I love this community and am so grateful for all of us here, PS: I‘m also introverted (and reserved) in the beginning of getting to know people, yet simultaneously I‘m open and allow the dynamic to flow as it may without feeling the need to change the way I am. I allow me to be me and I hope that other people feel the same freedom in my presence (or anyone’s presence). Much love Saskia 🌸

[@lilyt0464]

loved reading this ! i'm curious about the jenna temple but can't find anything about it on google, do you know which video you saw it in? much love to you too

[@cartooneyed.]

@@lilyt0464the name of the temple is lune souleil ✨ but closed but maybe they will offer something similar soon

[@sirenaspeaks]

You’ve have been such a catalyst in my journey Hitomi, thank you so much for being you!

[@river9305]

I just appreciate so much how open Hitomi is with her struggles with depression and anxiety. I too recently have felt as low as I've ever been, and knowing someone I idolize shares the same experiences as me is so comforting.

[@jadette29]

This eclipse season has brought me to a place inside me where my solace and despair reside, and just last night I was in deep conversation with a friend and it made me realize I am currently in the midst (or the latter end?) of a death cycle. Thank you so much for inviting other souls as fellow shoulders to lean on because my instinct is to self-isolate to investigate what truly is going on when I am also allowed to be held and guided by those I love and love me❤

[@fary2045]

This video felt like a prayer to self acceptance. My journal page is full of wisdom from this video. Hitomi, you just get it! You understand life and all it encompasses. Love you! and I thought the diaper part was funny lol.

[@kaitcoh]

I’ve had the same moments at the gym when my energy syncs up to the playlist I’m listening and my minds eye opens up to visions of new timelines which remind that me I have potential to create joyful adventurous experiences for myself.

[@vasikana2075]

Kindly put together Hitomi’s conversation starters🙌🏻 ✨How’s your heart feeling? ✨What’s the most true for you right now? ✨Do you feel like you’re in life cycle right now or in the death cycle? ✨What was the highlight of your day today? ✨How did you get invited to his event? ✨…(little story of my day) What was your day like today? Did you feel some of that? ✨Do you have any art practice? ✨Do you make any art? ✨What do you think of smth that we saw? ✨I’m feeling…(vulnerable truth). How are you feeling? ✨What’s the most embarrassing thing that you did today? ✨What’s your most toxic habit is? ✨Who you are in the now moment? ✨What are the things that you working on within yourself right now? ✨…(radically honest) how about you? Hope you’re also find it helpful. I personally so grateful for videos like this🙏🏻 I’ll definitely try to use your advices cus this ideas give me hope to find my people. Blessings 🥰

[@CherryBerryFashion]

I will be rewatching this video before every social event 😂

[@ellaa5528]

Needed this, I find friendships hard and maybe read too much into it, I’ve made many “friends” over the last 10 years and suddenly they drop off the face of the earth, I don’t understand what’s happened as there was never any bad words said but everytime I feel more and more withdrawn and struggle to share myself to the next person

[@andreacameras6387]

i feel u :)

[@chr85168]

Going through this right now. It’s so hard and feels so lonely

[@chibicibi6034]

one thing that i realised is that my love language is physical touch but im afraid of it, i get uncofortable to show my love in that way with my friends and family but at the same time i know im craving it. i would love to listen your perspective on this. thank u hitomi love u sm

[@diario.visuaal]

i've been watching your videos since 2022. i'm 18 years old now and your work has been just so important in the way i've grown to show up to the world. you are such a role model to me and i'm immensely grateful for the art you share

[@katymachova2660]

Thank you for embodying humanness- in the melancholy, the awkwardness, the fear. But for equally embracing the spirit of life, demonstrating what self compassion looks like, showing that life can still be full while you’re healing. You’re like a big sister breathing wisdom and fresh air into our timelines. Grateful for your authenticity 🦋

[@spiderena]

i love this so much! i’m mentally preparing myself for a first book club meeting where i only know 1 person so i’m definitely going out of my comfort zone 😭 ily hitomi

[@lylamax]

I love you Hitomi, truly you are such a safe space for so many people (including me). Thank you for always reminding me to stay present in the moment, free of shame and worry. ❤

[@mahakafoud6750]

Oh my god. I wish I could communicate how much your words in the intro have touched my soul and deeply impacted me. Such medicine because I'm going through the same thing right now. Shedding the layers of my old identity where I was socially anxious and now embodying this confident and secure version of myself

[@Aurical222]

This video came when I needed it! I can relate to just learning social skills in my early 20s (I am 23 now), and I have to say that your journey with that area of your human experience is so beautiful, inspiring and commendable. Thank you for sharing these very helpful perspectives! I always feel seen and heard by you.

[@patrycja_gajewska]

Rewatching this video right before a social interaction. I'm getting out of my comfort zone and I need to feel that it's okay. You make me feel that ❤

[@SSL_SSL]

Your energy travels the world, inspiring and comforting me and many others. I appreciate you for sharing the ups and downs of your journey of awakening. Thank you for rising and showing up just as you are. I am really grateful to spend this moment in this infinite now with you.

[@MeGirl191]

I have such a hard time making friends, as an neurodivergent introvert that has bullying trauma, it’s tough out here. Thanks for this video, I’m hoping to try these tips out next time I’m meeting new people.

[@loladeopeyemi9754]

Appreciate the icebreaker/small talk questions hitomi! I’m forever searching for someone who can hold good conversation :)

[@ya_dominika]

thank u so much for this video, I really want to overcome my social awkwardness😭💞

[@margauxvitre5956]

Thank you Hitomi. Listening to you sharing these perspectives, and thought cycles feels like opening a secret jewelry box with all the gems you found through your life. Even when you are yourself in a death cycle you still take on the role of the teacher. Again thank you.

[@bibzykravitz001]

thing about expressing yourself is some of us are artists/ content creators whose goals don’t match conventional routes in life so be mindful who you open up to

[@luminescentempath]

Def moving through the plot with you Hitomi. Thanks girl for the reminder that I’m the main character and it’s okay that I’m awkward and depressed right now. Thank you girl. Love ya from Cali ✨🤍🌷🫶🏻

[@melanieroa7635]

You are one of the few people on the internet I feel whose words truly make an impact. Thank you so much for being yourself and sharing all your insight. Ready to take on this new chapter :))))

[@CheffScott]

Hitomi, your video is a powerful reminder that growth happens outside comfort zones. Keep inspiring others! 🌟

[@sadedur23]

Hitomi speaks so deeply to my heart.

[@Amanda-hw3zj]

Yessss to the point at the end about not identifying hard with the labels!! 💗

[@StellaWright01]

This is literally a prayer answered. I’ve been meaning to improve in this aspect of life for a while, thank you!

[@sabrinarenner4762]

Such great timing for this video!! I’m going to my first music festival this weekend all by myself due to not having friends and I was SO nervous about meeting new people but your video really helped ground myself and I will be using your tips to feel less nervous!!

[@KlaraLouise.]

I need this, currently feeling very alone after taking distance from my previous best friend who treated me very badly. Healing after this and learning to trust again is hard. I'm superawkward, if anyone is alone as welllllll I'm available for discord movie nights and just sharing experiences.

[@andiebaker4686]

Recently reached out to my childhood best friends I haven’t had contact with in like 8 years. This video couldn’t come at a better time since I’m so nervous about how to rekindle friendships

[@itslaquesha]

Pure GOLD❤ Thank you for doing the work on yourself and being a beautiful reminder for us all. You inspire me constantly that I am good enough

[@innere_raeume]

I would love a video on how you handle death cycles. I mean in a way it's obvious - self care rituals, moving it through the body etc... but I feel like I'm very deep in a death cycle myself. And it feels quite intense - maybe it's just being more conscious that changes the experience. And I do all the things I do for myself, I do my practice. But I still feel kind of lost, I guess to view it from the bigger picture maybe. Or grasp the gift of it beyond a logic understanding of "I'm gonna get out of this stronger". There is a lot of grabbing and holding on, not knowing where to stand in all this.. (not standing anywhere, as Ram Dass would suggest doesn't feel quite realistic yet)..

[@leah_4F]

Thank you so much for another beautiful video hitomi. I was wondering whether us viewers would want to create a community, given how much your content brings us all together and we are all feeling the same need to deepen connection :) I'm based in the UK and would love to help out 💕

[@isabellelittle932]

Yesss!! I love finding new friends by going to new hobby classes and even asking for help from others, they usually are so passionate and willing to help you! It’s a fun way to learn something and make potential friends 💕

[@auraofamina]

wow i absolutely love this, thank you so much, sometimes i feel like at this big age (24) i shouldn't still be socially awkward but i need to give myself grace and space to grow and not shy away from moments to grow and love/be loved, omg tysm!

[@yaknowamsayin]

Yo, 31 girl here and I’m still socially awkward ❤

[@indigostudio-pk6mb]

I am grateful you posted this. I totally love your channel but always find myself jealous that you have this deep sisterhood that I desire so much. It felt good to hear you mention that it took time to create that. It feels more possible and also feels okay that right now I don't have that. thank you

[@astridd6123]

The way you express these thoughts and experiences is so deeply validating and encouraging to not let the mind stop you from living a full life. Thanks for your videos

[@AlbWhit]

13:15 I rewatched & lmfao. I do this shit all the time omg- relatable. ❤

[@itsjahza]

This came at such the right moment in my life. Your videos always uplift me and bring me to a sense of joy and my energy always aligns with yours! Thanks for the consistent uploads, we appreciate you❤️ sending good vibes to the world💫

[@ginaaviles4388]

your videos make me feel so secure and seen. thank you.

[@susannak7463]

Recently I have found that I connect best through deep understanding with others so being honest with myself so i have that deep understanding myself is so important. The objective truth you mention is definitely something I want to instill in moments of anxiety because I get so lost in the stories in my head all too easily. Thank you for sharing your abundance of wisdom Hitomi

[@jamesscalzi7077]

I’ve been watching you for years, but I feel like I’m finally starting to integrate everything and understanding that it’s okay to be in death cycles and low seasons, and these are the places that growth and expansion come from. I’ve been struggling with connections ALOT the past few years, I recently hit a breaking point and I can’t believe that this video showed up. Just at the right time when I needed it. It spells out exactly how I’m trying to be. Thank you for guiding me. Much love to everyone and best of luck on your journeys ❤

[@Amethyst93xo]

Hitomi this was just what I've needed as an introvert myself ❤ this video has given me the confidence I've needed thank you for sharing this ❤❤❤

[@shalenah]

your videos are always so timely. i took so many notes. you were speaking in affirmations. what you were saying on self-worth really speaks to me because that's what life and spirit has been showing me since my birthday in november. i like what you said towards the end. sometimes i chastise myself about daydreaming but i'm going to start having more fun with that. calling in visions of my highest self! sharing my notes with the class: * The fear that comes up with putting myself out in the world is the fear of rejection, the fear of ostracism, the fear of not being enough * Unfuckable-with * I genuinely fuck with myself * I am brave enough to put my heart out there * I am a whole and beautiful being with so much to give to the world and nothing is ever going to change that * I can be brave, I can face rejection * Treating myself good even when no one is walking * The love I put in myself shines out * When I’m at home with myself I’m not afraid to be perceived * Ready to flirt with life * I am open to being received * I am representing who I am in some way; my essence * In a death cycle vs life cycle? * Dream embodiment of my highest self

[@cinnaminute]

Was literally taking notes from this beautiful video. Dropping in, Knowing your Worth and Letting the Light shine on All parts of You. Wow. Thank you so much for this amazing resource. Such a wealth of compassion and love here.

[@alexisKa-night]

This video is such a gift I needed! Thank you 🫶🏼

[@survivalsilk2101]

such a breath of fresh air

[@nioums97]

Oh my dayss!! Thank you for the tips. Small talks have always been the worse for me. The way you put makes it feel so much less stressful. Thank you Hitomi. Your videos are always helpful. Actually always wait to watch your videos. Very resourceful. Thank you again.

[@rogercanik1925]

Your talk on the truths of life was very profound and insightful - much appreciated. Take care 🙏❤️

[@andrearoberts327]

this was the most perfect video for me. thank u so much hitomi. im so glad i found ur channel. and i hope u get out of ur depressive rut soon! ❤️

[@Nekoyasha92]

Thank you for putting out this video. I’ve been struggling to be open and make friends . I feel more confident after listening to your advice. Peace and love

[@Liza-pft]

I genuinely wanted to take a deep breath with you when you talked about it like I have needed to do it for a longg time :)🌿✨️

[@hunched_monk3279]

Wow I needed this right now. Starting to challenge my SA after many years of avoidance. Actually in group therapy! Thanks for these tips, insights and kind words

[@doveasmr4203]

girl, i haven’t watched you in a bit but every time i do, you’re a breath of fresh air 🤍

[@tass2602]

You dropped a video of this subject right when I was thinking about it the whole day. Cannot express how grateful I am for your content and your advices thank you so much ! ❤

[@SarahGrete]

How beautiful, thank you so much!! Fully received your love

[@vojtechsidlo]

hitomi, thank u so much.

[@LaraAutumn]

Receiving the love loud and clear and sending positive vibes back 🙌🏻

[@jasminemassey4283]

I feel like I just had therapy, such great content xx

[@annabarclay4673]

honestly I wish I had a friend like Hitomi

[@potato5225]

this was so beautiful, almost cried at the end, thank you for the kind words and advice ❤️❤️❤️

[@TaylorMauldin-z1x]

damn im gonna have to re-listen to this one over and over, it hits so deeply!! youre amazing!!

[@rhiannon7444]

wooooow everything resonated so deeply. love the tips of having a few go-to phrases that will make it easier to drop in and connect

[@purpl3Fairyy]

Thanks Hitmoi

[@Antonia-yj4de]

Hitomi thank you for sharing these incredibly coherent, wise and reflective nuggets. Really amazing insight and will genuinely be using some of these ideas to help in these kinds of scenarios. Been loving the objective check recently, it's always easy to get caught up in your own story.

[@mangocurry2736]

This is the message I need to hear right now, thank you❤

[@estheranne4742]

To all those who are feeling a little discouraged - trying to connect with people and it’s not be reciprocated. Don’t let yourself be shut down, keep trying , there will be beautiful souls who want to know you too 💖

[@paigeforai3897]

Your authenticity is magnetic

[@shabnam667]

The adult diaper thing was so hilarious that was obv just the wrong crowd 😂

[@amjad1_da969]

Girl I am connected to you because everything you express is actually your North Node (your North Star) in Scorpio and I also have this position in my astrological chart. Read about it. It is all about connection and intimacy with people. You know that you are valuable, but you want to stay away from intimacy, but intuitively, you know that you must be intimate with people because here you will get ♾️ abundance between material and wealth, and between intimacy is infinite.

[@mct5314]

people with the north node in scorpio are around 30 years old right now. I'm pretty sure hitomi is younger. I am 25 with a scorpio sun and my north node is at 28 degree leo. her sun is in scorpio too so the energy you're talking about makes sense anyway

[@amjad1_da969]

@@mct5314 yeah I made a mistake, meaning the North Node in the eighth house

[@nea2165]

This is exactly what I needed now. Thank you Hitomi❤

[@tracychemaly8614]

thank you for the reminders!! really needed them

[@didihuch]

these talking videos are my favorite! they fill me with inspiration for life 😇

[@michellegarza3832]

This is just what I needed right now. Thank you

[@anthonyp-gx3mk]

It does get easier as you age and mature, for me everywhere I went I feelt different, still hasn’t changed but I don’t care anymore and like myself more. As you said, a lot of it is how you feel about yourself. My view is most people are just as nervous as you so I try to get the ball rolling, ask questions, take an interest in their world more than mine. If it flows into conversation that’s great, if it doesn’t, there just not your type of person and so I just be polite and let them talk, and move on as soon as I can.

[@oliveinthetree]

I also prefer to go straigt to deep conversations and had to get used to small talk. But now I see small talk as "context" to set the deeper stuff I'll learn later on in. And I also use it as something to refer too once we do get into deeper stuff. Like "how does *xyz deep stuff* affect the way you do your work, or how you deal with your siblings you just told me about"

[@jtn6448]

This what needed; I’ll definitely be using the small talk examples in my next social interactions 🥰🙌🏾✨

[@jocelynnneumayer4950]

Freaking loved this. Received this and all the love from it SO HARD