How to Say No at Work | Christine vs. Work

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Harvard Business Review

Harvard Business Review

Күн бұрын

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@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
How comfy are you right now saying no to your boss? -Christine
@faridrezaei8180
@faridrezaei8180 4 жыл бұрын
My previous boss was a mess. I couldn't refuse to do anything and say no weekend project. And even if I did not accomplish my weekend task, which I had explained to him I can not do it, he would make me miserable during the week-days. But this new boss is awesome. Even I am free to tell him that I am on a date and therefore I can't do anything on the weekend.
@cindywarrington5799
@cindywarrington5799 4 жыл бұрын
watched the video last night and tried it with my boss today. Not very successful, but it felt gooood! Thanks again Christine :)
@AkashBhojraj
@AkashBhojraj 4 жыл бұрын
Omg! That was so intense! Talking with your boss in reality.
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Akash, thanks for watching me try to hold it together 😂 -Christine
@socialist-strong
@socialist-strong 4 жыл бұрын
Christine made me laugh out loud and the exchange with her and Maureen were priceless. Thank you Christine for so courageously showing us your learning curve!
@beatadunn9899
@beatadunn9899 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you, I like that you’re authentic and real. I can relate to this - be more specific on other projects so they know you’re sincere when saying you need to prioritise- but love seeing this, being vulnerable. B
@savannahstyles7598
@savannahstyles7598 Ай бұрын
I felt so anxious for you! I feel like after I have said no like twice the 3rd time I feel like I don't actually have a choice.
@jjb890814
@jjb890814 3 жыл бұрын
Showing this to audience is not an easy thing, so thank you so much for doing this, and being real. I can so relate to this, and I am loving this series. Could you do prioritization tips at work, when you are swamped?
@sarahevelynlaurence8160
@sarahevelynlaurence8160 4 жыл бұрын
This is so brave to do, and do for a video audience. Great tips, thank you!
@darcyeikenberg
@darcyeikenberg 3 жыл бұрын
Every request is not equal. When we over-answer, we teach people that they can talk us into doing something that's not right for us.
@faridrezaei8180
@faridrezaei8180 4 жыл бұрын
During this pandemic, we are working remotely, and since I can't see other reactions to what I say in a meeting, I get frustrated and nervous. I am constantly worried about what they think about me? Are they laughing at me? This makes me so insecure that even sometimes, it is affecting my performance. It's a good idea to review the insecurity caused by a persistent need for approval.
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Farid, thanks for sharing. Remote working and virtual meetings have definitely thrown more ambiguity in the mix (and I feel it, too). To address your feelings of insecurity, perhaps this article may help: hbr.org/2019/05/how-to-stop-worrying-about-what-other-people-think-of-you You got this! -Christine
@tamarathomas5900
@tamarathomas5900 4 жыл бұрын
Build an ice breakers at the beginning of the meeting and require everyone to turn on their video.
@rashmi7288
@rashmi7288 3 жыл бұрын
I love this series. Very practical advice. Ofcourse it is scary to put it into practice but learning to say no is so important. Thank you for making this video. Could you make a video on resolving conflict at work or about conflict of interest or discussing expectations mismatches with your boss?
@89DerChristian
@89DerChristian 3 жыл бұрын
7:20 killed me. I have to remember that when I ever become manager lol
@jd4189
@jd4189 3 жыл бұрын
Only just watched this, but very much enjoyed the content, as someone who constantly takes on too much due to having high standards of project delivery and an inability to say “that’s enough”. Plse keep up the excellent content.
@xkernalsandersx
@xkernalsandersx 2 жыл бұрын
We watched this as part of a class at my work today - this was so helpful and really tied together all we talked about today. I am going to see about practicing with my boss as well!!!
@ayshadinius3093
@ayshadinius3093 4 жыл бұрын
This was incredibly helpful! The struggle that showed is so real!! I especially loved seeing your initial (unrehearsed and impromptu) go at it :):) Thanks for the framework and advice to practice, practice, practice...
@aminemaamir5287
@aminemaamir5287 4 жыл бұрын
Saying no was a big no-no for me due to the opportunity and my current circumstances but that is about to change thanks to you. I'll definitely try those suggestions! keep them videos coming Christine, I find them so helpful and most importantly so dam applicable right away 🚀
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Amine, thanks for stopping by and the kind encouragement! Embrace the smallest of small wins, especially right now. Let me know how things go-I'll be rooting for you. -Christine
@renzokouken9781
@renzokouken9781 3 жыл бұрын
OMG the time management clause Thank you for this
@ajalaabdulazeez
@ajalaabdulazeez 4 жыл бұрын
Saying NO is truly harrd. Thanks for this.
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Ajala, thanks for stopping by. It's never easy but it's a skill worth building. Good luck! -Christine
@diantiarudi7684
@diantiarudi7684 2 жыл бұрын
Love the boss - team communication practice. Thank you so much
@dannyndungu7454
@dannyndungu7454 3 жыл бұрын
How do I make the most of my 1-on-1 time with my boss? I usually think throwing the basics: salary negotiations, current needs and also keeping it casual to build rapport.
@Dadbodgrubs
@Dadbodgrubs 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for taking the time to make these videos. They are real, relatable, and extremely helpful!
@malibublue830
@malibublue830 3 жыл бұрын
Loved this content. Also found great humor at certain parts as well :) Will be having a similar discussion with my Manager today. I’m anxious, however I am ready. Tired of my strong work ethic being taken advantage of. Thank you :)
@nomadd27828
@nomadd27828 3 жыл бұрын
Really liked the concept in which you are making videos! Thank you so much :)
@ellaquing3805
@ellaquing3805 4 жыл бұрын
Love this! Still find it difficult to say no but will try out the structure suggested by Ruchika
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Ella, thanks for the kind words! Personally, I think it'll never be truly "easy" to do, but practice helps. Let me know how it goes for you! -Christine
@palray2025
@palray2025 3 жыл бұрын
Wow! Loved Maureen and you as always. Super practical tips but I wonder what happens if you're talking to a customer and they don't want to hear no?
@daymagarciagomez2152
@daymagarciagomez2152 4 жыл бұрын
Loved this, Christine! More women need to hear this.
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks Dayma! Feel free to share with those you think might need it right now. -Christine
@MuhammadWaqasButt
@MuhammadWaqasButt 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Christine, thanks for covering this topic, really helpful. There are multiple topics but one of them for me personally is conflict resolution at a different level, your colleagues, people at the same level, manager, and higher management. If you can cover this topic with the scenarios based example as you did here, would be great! Keep it up the good work and stay safe! Regards, Waqas
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Waqas, thanks for the ideas! Conflict resolution between levels is tricky alright. Let's see what we can do. Love the support! You stay safe out there, too. -Christine
@lisaolson-wong3090
@lisaolson-wong3090 4 жыл бұрын
Love your series, thank you, great practical advice for real life!
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Lisa, thank you so much. I'm glad you're finding them helpful. -Christine
@sravanibodanapu6739
@sravanibodanapu6739 3 жыл бұрын
Much Needed. 💙Thanks a ton!!! As always, you guys put up freaking amazing content. Quality 💯.
@jaynec7499
@jaynec7499 Ай бұрын
Add to this being costly on the company’s health insurance w incurable cancer. Having been fired before for inconsequential things and being given so much work to make u quit is real.
@AQriousLittleBird
@AQriousLittleBird 3 жыл бұрын
Hey Christine, thanks for the video. Found your sample runs very helpful. Would you be able to do a video on how to cope with a boss who is insecure and jealous of you? Would love your take on it. Thanks!
@shelltown5663
@shelltown5663 3 жыл бұрын
What I and my friends have struggled with is being salaried and the work load is requiring almost all all of our days off to be spent working to keep up. Even after more employees are hired, the workload continues to grow back to this same scenario. Boss says you are in customer service and the others are expected to provide the same excellent customer service. But I doubt they have a life either. Any advice when boss doesn’t care, plays other employees against you, snd your salary, and paid quite well?
@michaelwoods1924
@michaelwoods1924 Ай бұрын
My understanding is that it is standard operating procedure at most companies for people who want to do a good job or are ambitious. If you are not promoted in two or three years, standard operating procedure for people who are highly compensated seems to be switching jobs every two or three years. Good luck (to all of us 😊.)
@michj189
@michj189 4 жыл бұрын
Thanks for the helpful video Christine. Would you be able to do one on dealing with workplace bullying as well?
@jenniferdeane1970
@jenniferdeane1970 3 жыл бұрын
Thank you for this! I'm very curious about how to determine if it's time management or a capacity issue. I will writing a blog about this to help leaders (and specifically women identifying leaders) explore this. I would welcome your thoughts on the Christine!
@michaelxie1978
@michaelxie1978 2 жыл бұрын
The framework really helps.
@rachellee5200
@rachellee5200 4 жыл бұрын
You memtioned “ healthy relationship” with your boss a couple of times. How do you know if your relationship is healthy or less healthy? If I want to improve, what can I do?
@faridrezaei8180
@faridrezaei8180 4 жыл бұрын
This is a good question. Since I can't access my boss in a meeting room to catch up or have a chit chat at the work., how can I establish a good and healthy relationship with my boss?
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Rachel, great question. Essentially, you want to foster trust and respect in the relationship and feel like there's psychological safety-that it's OK to give honest feedback or show vulnerability. There's plenty of external factors, including the company's culture, how decisions are made on your team, your boss' managing style, etc. But at the end of the day it's a matter of communication. A good place to start is searching for "Managing Up" content on HBR.org, and if you enjoy podcasts, try this "Dear HBR" episode on building trust: hbr.org/podcast/2019/03/building-trust Let me know how things go, OK? -Christine
@cj-dq8ut
@cj-dq8ut 3 жыл бұрын
My problem is I get things expected of me that are not expected of people who have worked there longer. Also I was told im getting a raise for a while but ive not been given the raise.
@michaelwoods1924
@michaelwoods1924 Ай бұрын
Unfortunately you need to make the time to find a different and higher-paying job. What you describe is standard operating procedure at every company. Well compensated people tend to switch jobs every 2 or 3 years.
@aryanrao3231
@aryanrao3231 4 жыл бұрын
Really liking the way you're producing and presenting this great videos so far. Can you do a video on Online Learning if possible? Thanks!
@cindywarrington5799
@cindywarrington5799 4 жыл бұрын
Great videos and advice Christine. Thank you. Would love to hear advice on getting your name pinned to an upcoming promo / opportunity while you're still newish : how to initiate the convo when your boss may or may not be expecting it, and how to have an effective discussion to lead to your desired results? If that makes sense
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Cindy, thanks for dropping by! That's a great suggestion, about how to effectively put your hat in the ring for growth opportunities. Consider it under consideration! -Christine
@stoicblitzer
@stoicblitzer 2 жыл бұрын
laughed so hard when maureen said "maybe we need to talk about your time management skills" 🤣🤣
@katiem6773
@katiem6773 3 жыл бұрын
Can you explore how to de-escalate work situations that are getting heated. Thanks
@acmazur
@acmazur 4 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this Christine - what would you say when you do not have a particularly good relationship with your boss or there is an underlying mistrust between the two of you. (I am a career consultant and often have clients dealing with this issue.)
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Amy, thanks for stopping by! This article may be useful to share: hbr.org/2020/07/what-to-do-if-your-boss-doesnt-like-you It lays out the steps to improve that relationship, including clarifying expectations with your boss, being perceived as both competent and reliable, and being transparent when things go south. Hope this helps! -Christine
@acmazur
@acmazur 4 жыл бұрын
@@harvardbusinessreview Thank you so much for responding so promptly with a valuable article.
@katherineparra2126
@katherineparra2126 3 жыл бұрын
This was incredibly useful, thank you for this really
@farukahmad111
@farukahmad111 2 жыл бұрын
Very helpful. Appreciated.
@fercortes1d
@fercortes1d 4 жыл бұрын
These videos are really useful 👌🏻👌🏻 nice work
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Fer, thanks so much for stopping by! -Christine
@tamarathomas5900
@tamarathomas5900 4 жыл бұрын
I love to say "No"
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Tamara, that's awesome to hear you're keen on setting boundaries. Any tips to share? -Christine
@BeccaVerna
@BeccaVerna 4 жыл бұрын
Super relevant and I loved the IRL role play!
@jbquigley2010
@jbquigley2010 Жыл бұрын
Great video
@meetshingala5975
@meetshingala5975 3 жыл бұрын
Caerr's is the way to go. It was really intense I think you could have stated on the long run when you were asked. It would make a better appeal. And, as Maureen said that being firm on your decision and authenticity is important.
@pravin070506
@pravin070506 3 жыл бұрын
For some weird reason I found this video really funny...especially the conversion with the boss ;-)
@muskduh
@muskduh 2 жыл бұрын
thanks for the video
@e.abisayo625
@e.abisayo625 4 жыл бұрын
Why didn’t I watch this video earlier, very nicely done 👍
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Elizabeth, you're here now! That's what matters. Thanks for watching! -Christine
@phanuphong
@phanuphong 3 жыл бұрын
Is there any How to teach boss to acknowledge the No No
@nunyabizniss8367
@nunyabizniss8367 3 жыл бұрын
Brilliant! Thank you!
@eyefffff
@eyefffff 4 жыл бұрын
Omg... really helpful! I like this video so much!
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Lynn, here's an Omg back atcha! -Christine
@ginashim8502
@ginashim8502 3 жыл бұрын
I love your series!
@BillFotsch
@BillFotsch 3 жыл бұрын
Of all the things one should get good at, saying no is WAY down the list. That said, when the request is counter to the organizational or personal goals, just point that out, typically in the form of a question, "Isn't that request counter to our current goals? Help me understand."
@GeminiPlatypus
@GeminiPlatypus 8 ай бұрын
I would be too scared to be fired. Confidence? Whats that? 😂
@samanthatovar6859
@samanthatovar6859 4 жыл бұрын
And what about if i do not have a close relationship or full engage with my boss how do i manage this? Thank you!
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Samantha, great question. See my comment ^^ to Rachel for more details, but you'll want to develop a trusting, psychologically safe relationship with your boss. It won't happen overnight, but learning the skills to manage up will have lasting benefits for your career development as a whole. Good luck-any progress is positive! -Christine
@samanthatovar6859
@samanthatovar6859 4 жыл бұрын
@@harvardbusinessreview yes totally agree! Thank you! Love the video 👏
@samehwagdy1203
@samehwagdy1203 3 жыл бұрын
Hi, First I like your videos it's really amazing and outstanding videos, it's helping me a lot. second, could you please talk about "how could I build up my career path?" or in other words "How could I create a personal development plan?"I really appreciate your effort thank you :)
@reesischess8054
@reesischess8054 4 жыл бұрын
Love you videos! Please include subtitles!
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi N.G., thanks for the kind words! There should be captions available-hope this helps. -Christine
@nettitude
@nettitude 4 жыл бұрын
This is brilliant!!!
@fz1468
@fz1468 9 ай бұрын
so... how do you say no to taking meeting minutes?
@michaelwoods1924
@michaelwoods1924 Ай бұрын
I wanted to see this as well. The only thing I can think of is proposing that a more junior staff member than yourself take the notes. If necessary, you can point out that it's healthy for the junior to learn from attending meetings.
@prettycurious4062
@prettycurious4062 3 жыл бұрын
Wow. Real intense..
@Zeynepozturkk
@Zeynepozturkk 4 жыл бұрын
Great video!
@lydiajordan777
@lydiajordan777 2 жыл бұрын
I can so relate with you😂
@mindtheprivacy
@mindtheprivacy 3 жыл бұрын
You are so funny and fantastic.
@jennatavarez2068
@jennatavarez2068 3 жыл бұрын
Ugh that's the problem with a boss is that you can genuinely have too much do to in the time frame they want and instead of looking at it objectively they get mad cuz they want what they want and so they blame you by saying things like "you need to improve your time management" like no, I'm an effective worker it's just that no one can do three fucking projects in two days?????
@Zeynepozturkk
@Zeynepozturkk 4 жыл бұрын
I want to know how you would influence people for them to improve their ways of working? How As a new employee in a global and big company how can I make people to respect me?
@harvardbusinessreview
@harvardbusinessreview 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Zeynep, thanks for the question, and also congrats on your new job! These articles might be good places to start: hbr.org/2018/02/how-to-increase-your-influence-at-work & hbr.org/2020/08/strengthen-your-ability-to-influence-people It'll take a little time to build those relationships but putting the pieces in place early is a great plan on your part. Good luck! -Christine
@natty_b
@natty_b 3 жыл бұрын
This is too real 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@curiosophy4241
@curiosophy4241 3 жыл бұрын
It's so difficult indeed! haha
@charbel0970
@charbel0970 2 жыл бұрын
This is so hard I'm scared is there an aura so ppl won't ask you to do more
@lozotau
@lozotau 3 жыл бұрын
The background music is too loud. Contents are great
@CountryBoyShane
@CountryBoyShane 3 жыл бұрын
OWWWWW... the time management comment ha ha ha!
@jamescaffrey7869
@jamescaffrey7869 3 жыл бұрын
damn that Ruchi chick HOT! Those eyes killed me
@victorrodriguezsr6081
@victorrodriguezsr6081 3 жыл бұрын
Later??? Tough talk thanks!
@ChristineSalzer
@ChristineSalzer Жыл бұрын
Einem Boss entgegenzukommen, der nicht mal den Überblick über laufende Projekte hat, heißt bei aller Liebe zur Kreativität Dritter in erster Linie, "Was verdammt tut dieses Intranet", zu recherchieren. Ansonsten würde er keinen Timeline-Abgleich benötigen. Software genug gibt es dafür ja. Er muss nur entscheiden, welche er mag. Für den Anfang genügt ihm vielleicht sogar Trello zum Patiencelegen. Sonst vergrault er noch das gesamte Team ins Homeoffice. Ich hatte mal einen, der damit drohte, dass alle, die zu mir kämen, von ihm geschickt seien. Er war leider auch als Ausbilder ziemlich ungeschickt, sodass er nur einmal selbst kam, wie ein Puffdebütant perforierte und mich dafür mehrfach durchfallen ließ. Das Ergebnis: Er wurde das, was jetzt Jens Scholz macht. Das Glockenbachviertel wäre stolz auf ihn: Mercury hätte nicht zeitnäher verenden können als seine Schutzbefohlenen.
@jennysoapdish4502
@jennysoapdish4502 8 ай бұрын
This video started off great, but then you lost me on the inequality BS
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