How To Share Your Feelings And Needs In A Way That Draws A Man CLOSER

This is an interview with Valerie Greene on how to share your feelings and needs with a man in a way that brings him CLOSER, rather than pushes him away.
You can get Valerie's FREE gift, "Man-ifest Lasting Love: How to Easily Inspire Him to Fulfill Your Deepest Desires" here: www.coachvaler...
This guide unveils a proven system to bring a man close and make him feel inspired, driven and excited to fulfill your deepest desires (mentally, emotionally and physically!).
Here's where you can find Valerie's eBook, "The Commitment Roadmap": www.coachvaler...
Apply for a FREE "Breakthrough To Lasting Love" personal coaching session with Valerie here: www.coachvaleri...
If you want to learn the secrets to inspiring a man's love, devotion and commitment, get my FREE "3 Keys To Attract The Man You Want" report and audio training here: helenahartcoach...
Get your personal questions answered here: feminineenchan...
Check out my eBooks and Programs here: helenahartcoach...
While I don't personally conduct one-on-one therapy, I’m sponsored by a company that can meet such a need if you'd like to get online counseling from a licensed professional (I've worked with a therapist from BetterHelp myself and it was absolutely life-changing!). You can get a discount through my exclusive invitation here: betterhelp.com...
Connect with me on Facebook: / helenahartcoaching
Here are the other videos Valerie and I have recorded together:
Ask Him THESE Questions To Create An Emotional Connection And Intimacy - • Ask Him THESE Question...
How To Inspire Him To WANT To Commit To You - • How To Inspire Him To ...
4 Ways To Initiate With A Man While Staying In Your Feminine Energy - • 4 Ways To Initiate Wit...
How To Inspire Your Partner To Meet Your Needs If They Have An Avoidant Attachment Style - • How To Inspire Your Pa...
How To Not Give Your Heart Away Before A Man Has Earned It (And What To Do If You Already Have) - • How To Not Give Your H...
How To Transform Conflict Into Intimacy And Bring Him CLOSER (Stop Fighting And Start Connecting!) - • How To Transform Confl...
How To Inspire A Man To WANT To Meet Your Needs - • How To Inspire A Man T...
How To Feel More Confident And Secure In Relationships If You Have An Anxious Attachment Style - • How To Feel More Confi...
How To Heal From Emotional Triggers And Wounds So You Can Finally Have The Love You Want - • How To Heal Yourself S...

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Apply for a FREE "Breakthrough To Lasting Love" personal coaching session with Valerie here: www.coachvaleriegreene.com/dap/a/?a=141&p=www.coachvaleriegreene.com/free-strategy-session

[@celticsoul2850]

Men deplete testosterone and replenish by resting. They really need uninterrupted time to recover their hormone levels. It’s not lazy or selfish.

[@jeanine120]

I have to say woooowww! I took notes and applied some of the things your guest was saying and it was the best advice. He opened up. Feels great! Thank you!!!!!!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You're welcome, I'm so happy to hear that! Thanks for sharing your experience here.

[@dellchica2373]

Wow

[@MsBoderah]

This was sooo valuable and eye opening! Thanks so much!!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome! We just recorded another video together that I’ll be posting soon. 💕

[@victoriathompson2246]

I was crying while watching. I'm one of those ladies who didn't know what i was saying or how i was saying it to a man i like. When people learn it, a high quality man comes in. I need to learn this, what a dark moment i;m having and i feel sad, the man i choose isn't talking to me and now i know why. I wish i could turn it all around but maybe it's too late,

[@485sofia]

This guest was great! Let’s bring her back soon 😊

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Absolutely! If you have any topics you’d like us to talk about let me know! 💕

[@485sofia]

I would love for you ladies to do a video on how to communicate your sexual desire for your boyfriend (long term relationship not early stages of dating lol) in a way that doesn’t push him away. I struggle with this because my boyfriend is very shy when it comes to talking about sex or expressing desire and I feel that my confidence in this area actually pushes him away. At the same time I don’t want to suppress my desire to want to express myself or be shamed for it. I don’t overdo this but even the few times I’ve expressed desire he gets like this deer in the headlights look (even though I know he wants it too! Lol) How can you get a man to break out of his shell sexually? Thank you! You prob get this question more in reverse but it would be really helpful to talk about this.

[@valeriegreene]

Hi Sofia. Great suggestion! Asking for what you want sexually has a lot of nuances (too much for a text response) so I'll definitely address that in the next interview I do with Helena on asking for what you want :)

[@nathalie5238]

Intresting! Men do not like when we blame them of making us sad or angry but they love to hear they make us happy... 🤔 But I get it... Theye are woosies

[@TheDawningEclipse]

I feel like the strength in the feminine is SO underestimated. 🙄 The worst part is we don't tap into our own power. How did this happen? Thank you for your channel.

[@lovelee9315]

Very good, thank you. Love how clear she is.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome! 💕

[@andyt6052]

That was a truly great video Helena, thanks to both of you! Near the beginning you described a "common misconception about men" that is entirely true. Perhaps "common misconceptions about men" would be an idea for another video? Just a thought.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome, I’m glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the suggestion! 💕

[@valeriegreene]

OOOh that sounds fun! There are many common misconceptions about men that women have the create disconnection. I'd love to talk about that!

[@irenam9817]

This is so good.... There are so many good advices here... Just need to pay atention... Life changing... Love. Irena from New Zealand

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I'm so glad this was helpful for you, Irena!

[@NicoleElissaLoveCoach]

Love your hair, Helena!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thank you, Nicole! 💖

[@lindastapletondemartinez9579]

I laughed out loud when you said "she wants me to listen to her, how long is this going to go on for?" My husband actually said that to me recently, that I'd said it would take 5 minutes and I'd already spoken for 7 or 8 minutes. I laughed out loud and we both ended up laughing together.

[@missbubblemaker26]

thank you so much. i have learnt more in this video than any place else. your videos are blowing my mind. thank you

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You're welcome, I'm happy to hear that!

[@IntuitiveWanderess]

Really great content. Thank you so much

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome!

[@lbc5693]

This is too funny I needed to hear this I’ve been trying to have an emotional talk with my man and he asked if we can do it after a big meeting he has at work so he can have a clear mind for it! They really are single focused I totally related to this video thank you!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome, I’m glad it was helpful! 💙

[@nakitanash]

Good for him tho to be that clear with himself and you

[@sshuteandrew]

This is my problem with my ex. Communication. We’ve been hanging out, trying to rebuild but it’s difficult. I try to approach things delicately but he shuts down and doesn’t want to communicate much about relationship issues. He broke up w me due to minor conflicts that he called “drama.” Any dialogue to him feels unsafe.

[@valeriegreene]

I hear that it's challenging. He might be conflict avoidant. The only way to tell is to not talk about the relationship, but do approach any disagreement in an open-hearted way where you're sharing your feelings and being curious about what he thinks and what works for him. When you can demonstrate that you're approaching disagreements in an emotionally safe way, he might then feel safer to come closer to you. How does that sound?

[@adinubila]

this is helping me so much - thanks for these tips!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome Alyssa, I’m glad it helped! 💕

[@denisejaydub]

Took notes on this video. Thank you!!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome, Denise! This video might also be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bYqoY4eDeZiEZ6s

[@DulceDelFlores]

This was awesome, thank you!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome! ❤️

[@StephanieTorba]

About the Corpus Callosum with regards to the sexes: The corpus callosum has more connections across brain hemispheres in women and less in men. We are able to integrate both sides faster. This results to a more integrated type of thinking. Left handed mens brains also have a thicker corpus callosum than righties, similar to women. Lefty men, I've noticed, have softer communication styles with women but they are not less masculine. Ive always thought this was pretty interesting.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Yes! Thank you for sharing this, S T!

[@StephanieTorba]

@@HelenaHartCoaching sure! I read a study about it years ago and looked at ten of my male friends and 8! were left handed! I ended up marrying one too. But Ive noticed over time, they still don't think or behave like women emotionally/romantically, hormones and cultural influences likely play a larger part? Not sure.

[@sejalkothari6687]

Thank you both very much..

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome! 💕

[@dekisharify]

Us vs. The problem

[@narcissistichealingforempaths]

Hey Helena, thanks for the great videos. This one was super too. I have a question : How do you make a guy, who is usually in his masculine - in day to day, but has a tendency of slipping into feminine, stay in his masculine even in tough situations. Can he come out of his tendency of being a people pleaser? This esp. applies to empathetic men who grew up with covert narcissistic mothers who made them diminish their masculinity by all their shadow feminine qualities and shadow masculine qualities.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

You’re welcome! Great question - in general, you can’t “make” a man do anything that he isn’t willing or able to do (at least not for the long term). I believe that the steps we outlined in this video will give you your best chance of seeing whether or not he’s capable of this by inviting him into his masculine energy while you’re staying in your feminine energy, by expressing yourself in a way that isn’t telling him what to do (or what he “should” be doing). We can record another video on this if that would be helpful!

[@valeriegreene]

Great question :) I agree with Helena's response, and there are more nuances to being vulnerable in the moment. If you share the impact on you when he slips into his feminine (not by talking about him, but by talking about how you feel and how it impacts you in that moment) then he has the chance to course correct on his own accord. I can speak more about this in our next interview about asking for what you want. So stay tuned :)

[@narcissistichealingforempaths]

Thanks for your replies ladies :) Looking forward to the video. Just also for context, I have tried telling him that I felt 'unprotected' and 'attacked' in that particular situation - but he tends to take it more personally, gets triggered and comes up with reasons like, 'I don't want to get in between two women' - which I understand usually no man wants to. Also, his stance is many times that you deal with this on your own, kind of abandoning responsibility or other times saying that 'this is no big deal'. It's not in all situations - just in particular ones - where maybe he thinks that he is not going to be able to do anything or where he himself feels like a victim.

[@valeriegreene]

Thanks for your reply. Would you be willing to share a little more of the context? When specifically does he switch into his feminine? What's the situation in which he perceives himself getting between 2 women? Then I can better advise you when I answer the question in the next video. Otherwise I'll just be more general.

[@narcissistichealingforempaths]

Oh, thanks for the reply. Sure, so he basically switches to his feminine whenever his birth family is involved. The other woman is usually his mother or sister. I am not sure if you are familiar with narcissistic family dynamics, but his mom is a covert narc and his sister is what we call the 'flying monkey'. He is basically, unable to standup to them even if they behave terribly abusively towards him or me.

[@Asriel821]

Ok please bring her back i am using this in my husband

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

We’re recording another video together next week! 💕

[@vtbhoward]

This was great info. The tips/steps seem complex, and yet workable. I would keep them in mind..... I've had 4 serious relationships, and communication was never as tough as it seems to be getting these days. 3 out of the 4 were mostly positive. The mostly positive 3 relationships ended due to growing in separate directions (2 in my teens, and 1 in my 30's). These days, innocence of both people wanting to simply please each other, give the benefit of the doubt, and grow together seem to be covered up with core wounds, distrust, and hurtful thoughts about the other person. All these strategies to reach each other was not needed in the positive relationships for me. The hardest relationship was my 3rd serious one. It was the one I wanted the most, but it was filled with lots of unwillingness to simply be vulnerable, please each other, and meet each other's needs as the vows stated we'd do. It's a jungle in the hearts and minds of many men and women these days. They need to heal, and these strategies would not be needed....... But they are most times needed due to the core wounds many have. And I'd be pleased to use them if I find myself with an unhealed partner. I trust that there are securely attached individuals, or those working to become securely attached, but insecure attachment leads many to more wounds and health issues as John Gottman found in his research due to the long term unresolved conflicts people endure in insecure relationships.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for sharing your experience and insights here! 💜 These videos I recorded with Valerie might also be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/gqKpYYSwlNOHibc, kzbin.info/www/bejne/bYqoY4eDeZiEZ6s, kzbin.info/www/bejne/rqacnoRsotmZmbc, kzbin.info/www/bejne/r3nRk35jm5aKgs0, kzbin.info/www/bejne/hYrTnJiwfbpqpZo, kzbin.info/www/bejne/mZmpk6GBhZiVotE, kzbin.info/www/bejne/rGOxnHiGjruirKM, kzbin.info/www/bejne/aZivnK2Ajd6mpaM, kzbin.info/www/bejne/m33Mmn-vbJ2Sd80, kzbin.info/www/bejne/r2HTonimZb5maNU and kzbin.info/www/bejne/iZ7VkHV3ia9raZI.

[@helengolovin7443]

This actually helps me so much. I have this really complicated relationship with a friend. Although hr' male and i'm female, we are Friends. Abd he, s the best friend i've ever had. But at the same time, everything is so complicated with him. Just the other day, he basically said he did't give a s$it about my problem. But he actually didn't say that, but various things that got said sort of dree me to that conclusion. Because of your video i got some ideas how i can go abput solving it. I how it was a communication problem tobegin with. Not an actual case of him not giving a f ck about my problem. I wish there were more videos like that that ciuld be applief to all human relationships. Greetings from Estonia

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I’m so glad this was helpful for you, Helen! 💕

[@TheDawningEclipse]

So I should be flattered when he texts me while he's watching TV? 😬😀

[@Vickiluv]

“They leave their shoes in the doorway” ha! Is this universal? Lol

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Haha it might be! :)

[@jillseitz24]

I love you videos but I wish there were a few for us older gals that have lost or been separated from our long time husbands. Your tips are good, but it would be nice to have some videos for those that are just separated or divorced from your long time loves.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks for the suggestion! Are you looking to reconnect your relationship or move on and meet someone new?

[@berell1589]

This guest was so awesome, I took notes. I really needed this!

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Thanks Bridget, I’m glad this was helpful! 💕

[@jillseitz24]

Keep my marriage. Bring him home he is living away for 5 months.

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

I'll keep that in mind for future videos. In the meantime, this one might be helpful: kzbin.info/www/bejne/enKohmZ7aLStf80

[@chempanda6388]

I feel like how we go about feelings makes a huge difference. If we approach the man in a way that seeps out fear, they can smell it? I dont know, it’s something of a delicate balance since we can never assume how they will respond. It’s not easy being vulnerable to someone whose not emotionally receptive.

[@valeriegreene]

Well said. It's important, when we talk about our fear, that we do so with trust (either trust of ourselves, the Universe, or him) because sometimes he'll hear your fear as mistrust of his ability to protect you. For example, if you tell him you're scared that you won't have enough $ in the future together, he might hear that as mistrust of his planning ability. So it's important to set context before you share the fear. For example, you can say, "I trust that we have a plan, and I feel scared because that's my stuff. Can I share the fear so you can reassure me?" Then he won't feel mistrusted. Now if you DO mistrust him, that's something we can assess further :)

[@chempanda6388]

Valerie Greene thank you, that is great insight. I hear your perspective, it’s important to be specific to what the fear is related to. I now see how i went about it the wrong ways in the past, ugh.

[@valeriegreene]

I hear you :) It's important to have self compassion because we're always learning

[@sshuteandrew]

How about how to recover after a discussion went poorly and you feel disconnected? I only see my ex once a week or less- better to bring up in person than text?

[@valeriegreene]

Yes definitely better to bring up anything emotional in person, not over text. It's very easy to misunderstand tone in a text. And it's important that there be a feeling of positive connection before you bring up anything challenging. A man has to feel like he is winning and can make you happy before he can hear a way that you're not happy. My partner put it like this: He says positive feelings of connection are like the pillars in a house. If the pillars are strong, then there's room to put heavy things in the house and it won't fall. If you talk about heavy things when the pillars aren't strong, the house can collapse under the weight. Does that make sense?

[@sshuteandrew]

Valerie Greene Yes, great analogy. I’ve learned to not bring up delicate issues in a text- this text was as a follow up to a conversation my ex and I had. I still need to resist following up in a text to prove a point. Lesson learned!! We’re talking again but he was distant for about a week. I’m just following his lead and applying no pressure.

[@nandinimelodyn5723]

What if he is non committal and stringing you along in his indecisiveness.what if in situation “ I feel in the situation can’t stop myself from making him wrong because his behaviour was wrong. And he said mean things , and he is being avoidant. And wont share feelings. I feel angry and I feel like giving up. “

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

These are the videos I’d recommend for your situation: kzbin.info/www/bejne/bXelcqZ-pLGGhaM, kzbin.info/www/bejne/jJTNd6Sqlqydabs, kzbin.info/www/bejne/l3mneZyFf6Z_oMU and kzbin.info/www/bejne/sGeqpJ6kbKqCfc0.

[@gisellejohnson7747]

What about when you’re more than friends but not in a relationship and he’s just not pursuing you in the way that he would like? Will staying your needs push him away cuz you’re not technically together?

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Every situation is different, but if that does push him away he probably wasn’t all that interested to begin with. My latest video might help give you some clarity: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qmGwl6pqqcemm9k

[@raerivera5676]

❤

[@kathleen460]

What if when i share my feelings (even if i approach it in the right way) then he just talks at me and is harsh with his response? It ends up making the situation worse because he isn't very sensitive with how his solution is delivered..

[@valeriegreene]

Great question, Pheobe. Do you continue to share your feelings after he shares his response (i.e. ouch. I feel worse now....) without blaming him; just inviting him into into-me-see? If you do, and he's still harsh, you can guess what's going on for him. (i.e. I know you're trying to fix the situation. Do you feel uncomfortable when I share my feelings and you want to fix the situation so I feel better?) A healthy conversation is a back and forth where one person is sharing and the other person is listening and validating the other person's point of view, and you keep switching back and forth until you both feel heard. If you don't feel heard, you can request that he validate your point of view before he shares his. There can be room for both sides and you can agree to disagree. If you both feel heard and validated, then there's room to create a solution together. If you'd like to talk about it in a 1 on 1 session, you can apply for that here: www.coachvaleriegreene.com/dap/a/?a=141&p=www.coachvaleriegreene.com/free-strategy-session

[@kathleen460]

@@valeriegreene thank you so much for replying!

[@lavish_1717]

How would I tell him that I'm not happy about him having too many female friends?

[@valeriegreene]

Are you in a monogamous relationship with him or are you dating? If it's the former, you can be vulnerable and say, "When you spend time alone with other women, I feel uncomfortable. Can you reassure me that there's nothing to be scared about?" You can't control what he does but you can be vulnerable and ask for reassurance. Trust is very important. Is he doing anything that makes you not trust him or do you have past experience of men being untrustworthy? It's important to create a feeling of safety and security between you so that he doesn't feel controlled around who he can be friends with and you feel safe and secure with him.

[@LOLhappinessTherealS]

Can we use this for someone who we're not in any relationship with?

[@HelenaHartCoaching]

Yes, absolutely!

[@ananeixon]

It works woth my kids and also at work...it really works👏👏