How you've been washing your hands wrong your entire life - BBC

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Watch the BBC first on iPlayer 👉 bbc.in/iPlayer-Home Alan Partridge returns to our screens in This Time. In this handy segment, he explores the importance of washing your hands properly and teaches us how to use the toilet without getting your hands dirty.
This Time with Alan Partridge | Episode 1 | BBC
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[@TonyEnglandUK]

_"We should be washing our hands for a full twenty seconds."_ *"Fifteen's fine."*

[@Basin79]

1:14, "No, no, no, no we, we mustn't". The whole episode was unbelievable but that 1 little line was perfect.

[@jmb123]

This has aged well

[@starmole5000]

Lol the way he mutters his first 'creamy hands'. Classic AP.

[@TonyEnglandUK]

Back of the net.

[@alexanderstevenson6484]

Tony England jurrasic park

[@captainwungf]

Spiceworld

[@PaulieD1984]

CASHBACK!!!

[@davidsanderson5918]

THAT.....was a GOAL.

[@jackreed7287]

The only man to trust when it comes to Coronavirus.

[@Jacob-jc1jz]

Agreed

[@randomuploadsism]

@@emmacook1984 the edge is fine

[@monstermunch4956]

15s fine

[@george_3264]

I don’t agree - goodbye!

[@captainwungf]

George Yeah he’d go to Legoland for sure.

[@HeartyArtie]

A year ago this was comedy. Now it's a public service film.

[@johnmartinez7440]

I genuinely thought the BBC had commissioned him for this during the pandemic

[@jwrigley100]

Frightening how quickly we lost our minds.

[@flala2261]

@@johnmartinez7440 😅

[@davepowell7168]

I volunteered for vectoring, we must stay unvaccinated and never wash 😊 😁

[@themadplotter]

I think Alan is the real person and he just pretends to be Steve to get regular work.

[@rockguitar2012]

Genuinely laughed out loud at that. Genius.

[@twincammike8329]

Definitely...😁

[@stephenmurray2851]

Brilliant lol

[@-M0LE]

themadplotter the same is true of Mr Bean and Rowan Atkinson

[@secretsymphony]

The mind plays tricks!

[@iUUkk]

"Those taps are the same as the ones over there?" "Uhm yeah we shot it here." "So those are your hands?" ... "I could just demonstrate right here in the lab if you want" "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, we mustn't" FREAKING GOLD LOL

[@grahamblack1961]

I first saw Alan Partridge on The Day Today 25 years ago, and he's still making me laugh. Coogan's a genius, he updates Partridge to fit the times yet retains his timeless social ineptitude.

[@winston-mathew-bollockchops]

When he said “no we mustn’t”... in my minds eye I saw Alan dancing on a table in his Y-fronts along with spinning disco ball. Alan needs a new intrusive thoughts sequence 🤗

[@franklingoodwin]

I do miss Tony Hayers, the mother🤣

[@kiljoy5223]

Must have crashed the PC algorithm

[@Zerofightervi]

Do you want me to lapdance for you? My driving licence is clean, yours is dirty.

[@franklingoodwin]

@@Zerofightervi when your comment came up in my youtube notifications, I thought you were a mentalist for a second, then I remembered that I commented on an Alan Partridge video 🤣

[@Zerofightervi]

@@franklingoodwin I did hope as I was typing this that you'd get it lol. Other people might still think I'm a nutter though.

[@adamb7599]

"From hygiene to bye Jean" Spat my tea out when that part come on

[@Mudge07]

The ballet of hands-free ablutions, complete with dance-ethic smiling grimaces, light relief from Alan’s “deep bath” lathering voice intimacy with Jean.

[@theloneliestmanchannel]

This is wonderful. 'Cheers for the cheap chops', 'very creamy hands', and so much more. This show has so much crammed into it.

[@paulbakovic7475]

More please!! A genius in front of the camera! He has got to be in the top 5 list of the best comedians....ever!

[@emmadeeba2038]

Paul Bakovic he’s my favourite comedian ever!! No1👌🏽

[@janeokeeffe5297]

Yes I agree with you he is a genius

[@janeokeeffe5297]

Marty south is that why your watching it 😂

[@janeokeeffe5297]

Marty south do you like owl's

[@janeokeeffe5297]

Marty south with a cup of beans

[@warrenharvey]

He’s one of the rare comedians that gets funnier and funnier, very clever well thought out comedy!

[@marshhen]

That creepy delay as he mimes washing his hands. Coogan is amazing. 2019 needs Partridge satire.

[@0wls2k]

That’s separate isn’t it, that isn’t a euphemism for the first one?

[@bonusduckmann9997]

Redondo9 xd

[@MinecraftClub1234]

leave him be

[@DeAtHaToMiC88]

lmfao thats the best bit :')

[@simac3880]

Surely this is a millennial comment... Just repeat the joke... shouldn't you add a smiley face or something, dummy?

[@DeAtHaToMiC88]

@@simac3880 This is a retarded comment isn't it? Just repeat the same comment to other videos you've seen before. (including a comment about the OP that doesn't make sense because there's a poorly placed question mark after it that makes it seam more of a question) :').

[@markblack1442]

This is the advice the government should be handing out for Coronavirus. Thank you Alan partridge for saving the world

[@Zerofightervi]

I saw Steve jogging once through London, I so wanted to say thank you for being so funny, I didn't because I'm British, I just nodded knowly.

[@imuecke]

He, and everyone in London, will thank you for that.

[@missdoglover1644]

I work in London near the BBC, I’ve seen several celebs, we just look at each other and ignore each other . Classic Britishness.

[@TheDaverobinson]

trouble is that alan partridge is less of a prick than steve coogan.

[@blackmichael75]

You're supposed to shout "AHA!" at him at the top of your voice. He loves it.

[@RIMJANESSOHMALOOG]

Explain, so British don’t like to show emotions?

[@OfficialFingazMC]

Just seen the full episode on iplayer and I swear down the "Clunt" "Fluck" thing I had to pause for about 5 minutes absolutely amazing. Such a fan boy of Partridge!

[@Deanster101]

I actually spat my tea out when she said Fluck

[@mattsmith6558]

"15's fine" I love how this is so clearly edited in after the fact because Alan thought 20 was too much.

[@monstermunch4956]

It’s so good. So much detail. Very creamy hands

[@mystikmeg]

That is the one of the very finest moments in comedy history.

[@clothilde1623]

“I don’t need to show you the whole thing” after showing the _entire_ thing 😂

[@lukemcguire6363]

Is partridge all over

[@MO-go9oo]

😂 Had me in stitches too! even the hostess couldn't contain herself lol

[@joevines3428]

"Handing over cash to a man on a ferry" 🤣

[@pyroed7044]

Slapping a butcher on the back and saying cheers for the cheap chops

[@Bootrosgali]

we musnt

[@romainsavioz5466]

?

[@sabbage100]

Romain Savioz @1:15

[@tiarnan76]

my favourite line in the whole thing so simple - but so suggestive haha

[@harrylaing-ross2840]

Very creamy hands

[@jamesfield1674]

I'm going to use this at work

[@howegav]

One of the best comic characters, ludicrous, yet believable.

[@thesimpsons17]

I don't know why 'we mustn't' cracked me up so fucking much 😂

[@Cole808s]

Alan never gets old

[@JMoruzzi]

He was born old. Well, middle-aged. He'll die middle-aged too.

[@clairduffy60]

He's gone a bit manic I think .

[@MoskHotel]

Alan is actually 10 years older than Steve Coogan himself.

[@alexojideagu]

@@MoskHotel Yes Alan aged himself in the last 2 series, now Alan is getting closer to Steve's real age so he is using less makeup so technically he looks younger.

[@dominicaaaaa5547]

@@alexojideagu how old is alan supposed to be now lol? i know in the early shows he was in his 40s and in the later ones he mentions being his 50s? but this like 15 years ago - so is he supposed to be a pensioner or did he just stop getting older lol

[@intelligenthanddryer]

This is without doubt one of the funniest bits of physical comedy you will be treated too for some time.

[@AndrewDixonMusic]

It's good this isn't it, even though we're just basically listing things Alan says.

[@MSimp2k6]

i don't remember him saying that in this clip. BURN HIM

[@franklingoodwin]

@@justvaper but what's Top Gear magazine's view on the pedestrianisation of Norwich City centre?

[@HighlandMike325]

Wispa

[@HighlandMike325]

@@franklingoodwin Wheeeeeeeelchairs

[@lornocford6482]

"smell my cheese"

[@shahree100]

The sudden relevance of this video is beyond ironic . Aa-haaaaa!

[@TonyEnglandUK]

Could go your way, could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down .

[@deanbrown7470]

As soon as Lyn appeared it felt like Alan partridge to me, took me back too the old series, loved it

[@TonyEnglandUK]

I nearly soiled myself.

[@SebOnGolf]

"we mustn't"

[@craigthornton1971]

"The world health organisation recommends...." Alan: "Oh, here we go" lol

[@RadagonTheRed]

“No … no we mustn’t” - I died. 😂

[@GodOfVictory501]

It was relaxing watching her watch her hands. I felt tingles : D

[@KRPTV]

Really enjoyed it, Alan is still as funny as ever, can't wait to see next week's episode!

[@bobbykotick1163]

I thought it was shit

[@si4632]

@@bobbykotick1163 yep dog shit

[@kevcatnip7589]

A huge triumph ,,,ALAN making his imitators on everything media is complete

[@dafteverton7218]

Thats bollocks.

[@KRPTV]

"make sure that you're clean handed" that song has been stuck in my head all day!

[@MegaHooper25]

Like a combination between Mid Morning Matters and Scissored Isle - Amazing!

[@DThat492]

Scissored Isle was amazing...the part where he works in Tesco was brilliant.

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

@@DThat492 Carls... Carls... (brokenly) CAA- AARLS...

[@humann6831]

@@DThat492 "No, don't put the basket on the conveyor belt"

[@DThat492]

@@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494 even the way he said supermarket was hilarious. And you know coogan tried that several times until he was happy with it. Haha.

[@jasewildheart]

Both were far better than this.

[@thegentleassassin]

Very creamy hands

[@ameliacraig8789]

LOL. Has Alan shown a fetish for hands in his previous series? I can't remember it.

[@jloae820]

@@ameliacraig8789 I dont know about hands, but he certainly doesn't have a foot fetish, big feet remind him of gammon

[@user-pn3fb9eo5i]

Not my words, the words of Top Gear magazine.

[@TheSemtex1977]

The UK Government should adopt this as a public information advert!

[@joegatrill6634]

I loved the first episode! Alan trying his best to keep up with the modern format as he cracks under the pressure and makes an arse of himself. I've been laughing about it all day, some of the subtle slip ups like 'clunt' were brilliant. I think losing the laughter track helped keep the tempo up and made it quite different to previous series. I'd recommend the Alan partridge audio book of his autobiography to people who like this series, I think the same people wrote it.

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

"Nomad" is also fun - you can listen to him read it on KZbin.

[@mansnotbot4160]

"15's fine." I'm dying. 🤣

[@willjones-cunliffe9259]

The way alan explains how to use the loo in public without your hands is genius!

[@Autonova]

Do make sure that you’re clean handeeeeeeeeeeeehed

[@seanp8220]

Do be clean. Use the shower hose to blast off the scum

[@charlotter3815]

There’s so much gold in this it’s hard to keep up 😂😂😂

[@miketacos9034]

As someone who has used train bathrooms, I admire Alan’s well-practiced technique.

[@perthdave]

Coogan is brilliant as ever but the look of irritation 'Jean' gives after he says 'he's a butcher' is so perfect.

[@Fuzion180]

FEED PAPER BACK INTO BOWL!

[@Deanster101]

Alan: Hygiene....Jean: Hi

[@mcmatcros]

Loads of excellent partridge in this. My favourite is the open mouthed audible breathing when he’s washing his hands at 2:36. One from the top draw of partridge looks and guttural noises.

[@pollyrichards]

“Hygiene” “hi” “hi... jean”

[@_banja]

Hygiene Hi Hi Jean He totally didn't know her name

[@somethinglikeanonymous1773]

banja I think he did, but she thought he said hi jean. So she said hi

[@5h0wmanX]

Before the place where the clip starts he does a voiceover explaining that he’s about to speak to “Jean Choudhry”... hence “hi Jean” 😂

[@_banja]

@@5h0wmanX I still think he acted as if he didn't know or forgot at the time

[@5h0wmanX]

banja yeah he completely didn’t realise the situation he was running into until he opened with “Hygiene...” then went all deer in the headlights 😂😂

[@humann6831]

@@5h0wmanX Bye Jean

[@jackreed7287]

"No we musn't."

[@rumbarumba1]

Cheers for the cheap chops Why did i nearly die laughing 🤣🤣

[@Coolyourbootsman]

Always ahead of the game. Partridge for No.10.

[@Chefcouchon]

“After the wee your poo has landed, do make sure that you’re clean handed” I have saying this over and over in my head all day and can’t get rid of it 😂

[@JNO1972]

Really liked the new Partridge 😂

[@bletheringfool]

Really enjoyed seeing Alan back on form. 15's fine!

[@TheLlandudno7]

Ahhh that was the best Alan partridge I have watched since 8 years ago....

[@davemunger8803]

PAPER PAPER PAPER

[@eddiestarship8565]

" do make sure that youre clean handeddddddd " - my Eurovision entry

[@themaypole]

Alan is back. Properly. Finally.

[@randomuploadsism]

paper paper paper!

[@QuickBits]

Coronavirus (COVID-19) outbreak sent me here.

[@ophiolatreia93]

No shit

[@rodneymclaughlin1099]

"15's fine" 😂😂😂😂 excellent

[@robertrosenberg]

Alan is a genuine visionary

[@thehotyounggrandpas8207]

Partridge is like a fine wine; red and in a bottle.

[@zilupe]

- .. Here to tell us more is the show's creator Alice Clunt. Welcome! - Oh, it's Alice Fluck.

[@russmawson6744]

Oh...I know what I did there

[@trampledtodef8458]

See what you guys are going is quoting a different scene to the video clip. You think you're Rod Stewart. Stewarts. A couple of Rod Stewarts. But less entertaining

[@ProjectFlashlight612]

Short-burst underwater crying

[@jaredweatherhead7446]

"15's fine". absolute gold

[@kop1986]

Both seasons of mmm was brilliant, loved this 1st episode, looking forward to the other 5

[@JETFORCEJUN0]

Sublime and better than ever.

[@JETFORCEJUN0]

Neil Mo if you saw it, and didn’t like it again, very VERY cool.

[@doctorwhoproductions834]

Loved it

[@margoomahony9565]

Thank you god he’s back 🤣

[@RcWebbo]

Well done BBC, steve cogan and company, absolutely brilliant.

[@MinecraftClub1234]

Only God can smite him

[@stu1987eng]

01:42 She did a high ranking free-mason handshake on him lol!!

[@firsteerr]

pure partridge GOLD

[@keyboarddancers7751]

he’s done it again; amazing!!

[@timeflight]

Here we go

[@naimorgs]

So happy Alan is back

[@Giovanniditessitore]

Genuinely a good idea now 🤗

[@tjfSIM]

I couldn't stop laughing at the 'Hi Jean/Hygiene' bit - that was so clever.

[@arveyilleszender5809]

That joke's been out for atleast 30 years tbf.

[@Leo-wz4nh]

@@arveyilleszender5809 37

[@michaelturner8634]

Needless to say that Alan has the last laugh.

[@george_3264]

Michael Turner guess who’s big in the back time?

[@gregtaylor6146]

Quite ........it's only OUR money!!!

[@geoffreygoodyear3746]

still as good as ever,,,,,, lovely stuff!!

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

Not his words...

[@CantDraw-bq6pj]

The words of Shakin' Stevens

[@andynixon2820]

He went full partridge . I love him .

[@kanonproductions945]

The king is back!

[@cyberhermit1222]

It's an extender

[@franklingoodwin]

"You can't!"

[@janeokeeffe5297]

😂

[@aaaabbbb2483]

Legends say he still wants that glass of water. 😉

[@TechMetalRules]

He's a planetary treasure.

[@Burgmannn]

I love this man.

[@RoscoNutting]

Anyone else using this as a PSA for coronavirus

[@SaintSwithinsDay]

It's Baroness Sureka!

[@mappingoutthesky]

This came out a year ago, Partridge is so visionary

[@liams9980]

Absolutely brilliant.

[@tomsito365]

Yes! Sidekick Simon is on! Did Coogan get tooth extensions?

[@asthmaticmonkey1]

Cheers for the cheap chops!

[@nigelcarren]

Cheddar and chives

[@asthmaticmonkey1]

@@nigelcarren Textbook!

[@emmadeeba2038]

He’s a butcher!!

[@michaelfowle876]

Cheap chops, chips, chocs, chickory and chives

[@asthmaticmonkey1]

@@michaelfowle876 ...and cheese. Smell my cheese!

[@storm3698]

Just watched 1st episode. Brilliant.

[@chrismoss7992]

Utterly brilliant..