Husband Said My Anxiety Has Destroyed His Feelings For Me But Is Angry I've Moved On r/Relationships

[@maddy8328]

"acting like a 20 year old girl" while Ben acted like a damn stalker. Using a fake account, looking through her private messages, etc. Jesus Christ.

[@TheNormExperience]

Lol, thank you! I was about the type exactly this when I saw you already did. This guy is the epitome of, “I don’t want you, but I also don’t want you to be happy with anyone else.” Just gross.

[@natytambasco]

Ben out here acting like a creep, but she is WrOnG

[@Iflie]

Not unusual from what I've heard about divorces, especially in older couples where the guy can't handle it due to his giant ego. Then they try their best to screw over the former partner in every single way.

[@maddy8328]

@@TheNormExperience ikr so disgusting

[@4NeonFun]

The absolute gall of him liking them young and acting like a creep while saying I'm the problem for holding to my youth and acting like a 20 y/o when he's the one who shouldn't be anywhere near a school.

[@Mewse1203]

He wasn't "horny" he was trying to assert his dominance over his "possession" His entire behavior screams that he was part of the reason for her issues. He's gaslighting her, emotionally manipulating her, denigrating her. He's a massive asshole And it seems as though he is a major cause of her issues.

[@khaleesireyna731]

Yep! Ngl, men like OPs husband make me afraid of men. Because lbr, men like that are taught that they can act like that. They're taught that women are anything but equal and it's ok to treat women like property. It's disgusting on the individual and societal levels.

[@sarahl8625]

Well said

[@mb8787]

Exactly. No wonder she was having anxiety and depression, living with such heartless man...

[@holyek7892]

I'm pretty sure he was the source of all her troubles. She might have anxiety but he destroyed her.

[@dorakarys]

yeah I bet my money on that. What a toxic dude!

[@jettanyx1]

Listening to this story reminds me of my ex. Nearly 10 years together and my mental state spiraled over time. As soon as we split I suddenly got better. Wether blind by love or used to being abused (rough childhood) I didn’t realize how toxic and abusive he had been.

[@maggpiprime954]

@@jettanyx1 Yeah, my ex was big on the guilt-tripping, calling me an irresponsible child, emotionally dramatic/manipulative... It took me YEARS to unlearn toxic/defensive behaviours. Still dealing with internal self-doubt, but at least that has more to do with my AuDHD than that fiasco of a relationship

[@elevin8858]

This reminds me of my emotionally abusive ex. After I moved on and moved out, there were so many attempts to pull me back in. Yeah, nope. I’m out here living my life thanks.

[@mamakitty6549]

I was thinking this too. She needs to cut him off properly and leave because living under the same roof will only make it worse for her.

[@thebladeofchaos]

I love how no one's saying the obvious with story 1. he's an abuser. he thought he had her, and got to her limit that she started to come back. 'I want to break up' expecting her to fight for the relationship, only for her to commit to that. He's giving mixed signals to keep her confused so that she tries harder to give him what he wants, but it's not working.

[@rumooooni]

yep people ignored the obvious part were he keep taunting, insulting, belittling her 24/7 he only wants control.....

[@savanahh2848]

Honestly he sounds like my abusive ex, who would break up with me and insult me then acted all surprise pikachu face when I finally accepted the breakup and tried moving on. Talking about how I broke his heart by going on dates after he broke up with me lol. He’d cyber stalk me too by circumventing blocks using a fake number to text/call me. Eventually, he ended up strangling me. It will always escalate with abusers if you stop doing what they want.

[@thebladeofchaos]

@@rumooooni couple that with some love bombing then abuse for taking the love bombing ('I want sex. it was becuase I'm horny') and people seem to really want to excuse him because she has mental issues........that mysteriously got better upon deciding to cut bait. mysterious

[@keplersdream901]

Yeah, he was looking for Mommie McBangmaid. He got pissed when she suffered from an illness. Unfortunately, though, men dump women with illnesses. It's a known. He's an abuser, but a typical male.

[@yamairad1]

Don't forget how her mental illness was consistently getting better when she started separating.

[@swearimnotarobot3746]

So he’s upset that you’re not heartbroken after he revealed he was an AH? Lol. Sucks for him.

[@hungrymusicwolf]

There's a reason why the idiom "be careful what you wish for..." exists. It's because of people like this. Don't complain about the consequences of what you asked for. You literally asked for it.

[@HoneyBakedHamlet]

Yeah.. that's usually how it goes. Especially when you're dealing with a toxic person.

[@DeeBraynt2010]

I wouldn't be surprised if he's using her to make himself feel good about himself. If she gets better without him, she doesn't need him and he loses is emotional dependent. He wants her to feel her worst so he can feel like he's the center of her world.

[@khaleesireyna731]

@@DeeBraynt2010 yep. He's got some narc traits for sure and a telling one for me is that he clearly enjoys cutting down OP (probably to make himself feel better).

[@witheredrose357]

So who betting Ben was the problem the whole time and only asked for the separation to get away with screwing someone else? I mean honestly, this guy is a red flag personified. OP run for the hills

[@khaleesireyna731]

@@holographicwing it's always the basic ones in the relationship who pull that. Very Ned Fulmer behavior (wife guy who cheated on his amazing, very out of his league wife).

[@wolfwhistlewoowoo6297]

Story 2: Auntie Karen is insane. Amy's HUSBAND brought her a school paper and they shared a coffee and her crotchety wierd Aunt treats her like she has a line of randoes waiting outside her bedroom at 2 A.M. and also happily accepts Amy's paying the utilities? Whew, Auntie needs a reality check.

[@aindrilaroy4464]

The crotchety aunt who is only 8 years older than Amy, btw!

[@littleblackpistol]

@@aindrilaroy4464 JFC she's only 30? She sounds batshit insane.

[@asherikamichaela8425]

I get culty vibes from OP, ngl...

[@Russman67]

Story 2: There's a huge disconnect in this story. At what point does her husband bringing papers over and the woman giving him a cup of coffee turn into "bringing men around"? I mean were they naked in the kitchen? Were there other men drinking coffee? It just seems like a massive overreach. Don't worry though, I doubt she'll ask to use that place again. YTA.

[@juliearmfield2634]

From the title I thought it was going to be about some young teenager sneaking boys over in the middle of the night and in actuality it was a grown woman inviting her husband in for a cup of coffee after he brought her some papers from home. This woman is delusional and a little psychotic. Best thing that needs can do is get the hell out of there

[@Russman67]

@@juliearmfield2634 And that environment couldn't have been good for study. She seems like she'd be all in this woman's business for two weeks.

[@Nevertoleave]

Yeah. That’s crazy talk. It’s her husband, not like she using the place as a hookup spot. He was dropping off something she forgot

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@Nevertoleave Yep, aunt seems to believe her niece is a teenager who has been remanded to Aunt's house by the courts for house arrest because she never studies and is running a prostitution ring instead of being a 22 year old married woman who just wants to save the hours sucked out of her day by that long drive to and from her own home and has a legal husband who brought her a paper she needs to turn in that got forgotten at her home who sat down and drank a cup of coffee with her. Oh, the sin of drinking coffee with one's husband! Such a SLUT for doing what nearly all married women do with their husbands every morning-drink coffee!!!

[@itsjustmaddisen]

Yeah, I had to pause the video and then rewind to make sure I heard right. Absolute insanity.

[@autumn557]

What that husband really meant was “fix yourself so I don’t have to deal with this” And is now freaking out that instead of just hiding her depression, she’s taking steps to get out of it which includes leaving him.

[@khaleesireyna731]

The irony is, give it 5 years divorced and OP living her best life, and we'll all see he might well have been the catalyst for all her problems (funny how being treated like shit by someone who's supposed to love you causes a bunch of emotional and mental issues... go figure).

[@michamocha]

Had Op not stated the niece's age I would've mistaken her to be 16 or something. This is a 22 year old adult who's staying for _2 weeks_ and already helping with some bills. Op's rules was ridiculous, but her threatening to kick her out over her chatting for 30 minutes with her husband after he brought her a file she needs is insane. The fact that Op's even shocked that the niece refuses to talk to them is insane. YTA and I honestly would've be surprised if this put some distance in their relationship.

[@JokesInBase13]

Story 1 needs to get the hell out before her ex escalates to murder. He's showing some serious red flags for the kind of controlling narcissist that ends in a violent "If I can't have her, no one can."

[@khaleesireyna731]

Maybe I'm dealing with too much of my own abuse trauma/watching too much true crime, but yeah, you right. OP needs to GTFO and cut loose. Better safe than sorry.

[@sylviajones6745]

Ikr, it happens waaaay too often. People just think it won't happen to me. I was shocked, it almost happened to me. He told me before he went to work, that he was going to beat me when he got home. I believed him. I left.

[@Russman67]

Ben caused this situation with his own actions. Then he has the audacity to get mad because OP's moving on. OP needs out of that house. She might be stuck there financially right now But her only chance for growth is to get away from this douche canoe.

[@khaleesireyna731]

You see, his bang maid was causing a lot of inconvenience by having "feelings" and "mental health concerns" like "anxiety" and "depression", it was all very inconvenient for prince Ben and his good life, so he thought being an absolute ass would fix it and reminding said bang maid that she's being very difficult would make her act right... Too bad "bang maid" is an actual person who's now realizing a) her feelings matter and b) she deserves better. Sad little baby boy Ben can go learn to wipe his own butt now. Good for OP.

[@deifieddata4462]

Goddamn Op1 gave her husband so many outs from his cruel little tantrum and he gets mad the second he realizes he's stuck on the path he set for himself

[@khaleesireyna731]

You said it best. Dude made his bed a long time ago (I'm sure the doctor in the beginning was secretly thinking "bruh, get a divorce, you'll save on the anti-depresants" when he was watching the STBEH berating OP to tears).

[@BexsBoxofConfusion]

Story 2 is.. WOW her husband was over for a few minutes and that's too much for OP?? OP sounds like a horrible person

[@ronbarnes5354]

Story 2 Sounds like an insane Karen story from her point of view where she is completely clueless of how insane she truly is.

[@Cel3ere5]

My favorite take on this lol.

[@bunnyslippers191]

Yep, she's BSC, all right. She thinks Niece is 14 and has been turned over to Aunt to be straightened out and kept away from boys.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

She sounds fucking crazy that’s for sure lol. The reaching OP does. I’m surprised she hasn’t dislocated her arm from it.

[@akl2k7]

Yeah, having coffee with her husband for 30 minutes... What's she going to do next? Show him her ankle? What a slut!/s

[@Mewse1203]

Story 1 : I spent 10 years with my ex-wife supporting her through an eating disorder and several hospitalizations for malnourishment where she was close to death on a few occasions. She had to go to a 6-month eating disorder rehab. This was after another rehab for 3 months the year before. When all of this started to affect my mental health, she didn't even stick around for a year. She essentially told me to suck it up and when I couldn't, she made things worse. It was like the moment she had to put in any work to support me that was against the terms of our relationship in her mind. I left her and have found a super supportive partner. OP's husband isn't supportive. It's one thing to be burned out. It is a whole other to blame them for a disease they have which is what he was doing. Edit: And there is definitely a grieving stage in relationships Edit 2: what a massive asshole. His controlling, stalkerish reaction is a massive red flag. Ben has done everything he could to tear down her self esteem and when she is breaking out of his control, he is escalating. This is a scary situation

[@FinnishLapphund]

Well said. I'm glad to hear you're now in a relationship where the support goes both ways, not just one.

[@copercurlz]

In story 1, how can he claim to want her and get jealous when he threw her away? OP needs to get far away from him. And soon. I hope the best for her.

[@nerdygeekgamer5528]

I agree OP needs to pack up all her things, her kids things and find a home of her own the further she is away from him the better off she'll be and she had a right to let her hair down for ONCE IN HER LIFE

[@angelsweet9611]

He wanted her to beg!!

[@nerdygeekgamer5528]

@@angelsweet9611 I pray she doesn't give him what he want's cause this whole cycle will just happen again if she does

[@lovelysakurapetalsyt]

It's because he's an abuser. Abusers do this shit very often

[@tallyp.7643]

It's old-school "push and pull", trying to make the person react and then reeling them back in with promises and good behavior. Wash, rinse, repeat. But OP has had enough of it, though I think she's just chipped a bit off the tip of this iceberg that's her hubby's insecurities and ego. She needs to get the hell out entirely, get some family or someone to help her find a place and move out. She can't move on if he's waiting for her back home to try and cram her back into her box every day.

[@Resilient_Sage88]

Story 1: So the husband is doing a premo impression of a child who threw his toy away because it was "broken" but as soon as he sees someone else is interested in playing with it, he wants it back. Story 2: YTA Wtf are you trying to do? Isolate her? She's a married woman who's not allowed to socialize with her husband??!

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

Poor OP.........I can't imagine having such an unsupportive husband. He just left her when she needs him the most. Maybe he's exhausted and burned out, but he should've just told OP. After Updates: Wow! Clearly OP's soon to be ex-husband Ben sucks. I wish I could say I'm flabbergasted of how selfish he is, but sadly I'm not. OP's a saint. She needs to get away from him and move on. Nate on the other hand is an absolute legend! But the relationship needs to be handled with great care.

[@rumooooni]

He basically expected her to beg for him not leave while....... even tho he told her straight to the face he didnt love her , she's too much and wanted control he keeps telling her "shes the problem"

[@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909]

Story one: the one comment about men falling out of love when their partner gets ill is right. It's very common for men to leave when their partner gets sick and it's so fucked up.

[@jackchop1576]

Exactly! And that asshole cries abuse? It's only abuse when it is men with mental illnesses doing it.

[@sierralovat5498]

its because sadly our society trains people to avoid the "sick" and to replace things without effort. Bad relationship that can be fixed? Get a new relationship. Partner is not pretty or healthy any more? get new partner. Dont like your family? make new family and so on. Dont like someone? cut them out and block. it sucks.

[@Aaron-kj8dv]

It's not very common, but it's more common for men to leave when their partner is sick than for a woman to leave

[@dionysus_adores]

It's through sickness and in health i guess partners like that just ignore it. Disgusting, good on op for leaving that sorry excuse for a man

[@julianne089]

I think it’s tied to the horrible way we raise boys to deny vulnerability and “soft” emotions in themselves as well as the over responsibility of being the “man” and taking care of everything and so when you pop up so very vulnerable and in need of care, too many can’t cope and run away. If we could just do a decent job of raising kids to be healthy and happy and safe, they would grow up to be emotionally healthy, happy and safe partners. Imo...

[@MiraTheWarlock]

He wants to have his cake and eat it to. He doesnt care about her, he cares about HAVING her or an ideal version of her He's stringing her along 'just in case' she 'gets over' her anxiety and starts behaving the way he wants her to

[@khaleesireyna731]

Anxiety and depression he most likely caused or exacerbated. Dude can die lonely for all his manipulative crap.

[@AngharadMac]

Story 1: the ex is just still in the mindset of "that 🙀 is mine, she can't sully it with other men!!!" Story 2: married or single, hanging out for 30 minutes with a man is not a capital crime, nor offensive in any way. F'n control freak. ETA: I totally missed that it was her HUSBAND!?! WTAF?

[@khaleesireyna731]

If someone's 😸is sullied by someone's 🐓 then that someone better get their 🐓 checked.

[@MrKurtykurt]

The last story my god, this woman has zero desire to do anyone, any favor, ever.

[@artemisia457]

Story 2: i think what's worse is that OP implied to Amy's husband that Amy brought other men over. OP sounds insane tbh

[@nerdygeekgamer5528]

I agree Amy and her Husband haven't seen each other in two weeks TWO FRIGGIN WEEKS and her AUNT is telling her she can't talk to her own HUSBAND sometimes people who study need to Socialize in order to decompress and relax telling them that their FORBBIDEN to do so isn't going to help it'll just make them BURN OUT my mom had a BFF when she was a TEEN the girl was a fulltime high school straight A student a fulltime employee at her job and one day her brain BROKE cause from what my mom told me her BFF woke up that morning and didn't recognize her own mom and dad come to find out she mentally exhausted herself and had a mental brake down

[@Michael.CrazedAlaska]

The only “devils advocate” I can think of is the neice is atrocious at studying otherwise, or she lives too far away from school otherwise. So on the one hand if the rule was in place to help her I can see where OP is NTA, but if that isn’t the case then obv YTA. Idk, I can also see the part where it was also a massive disposition for OP to be too frustrated… not to say any of that is true, just trying to find a devils advocate reasoning someone might have that they forgot to give out

[@nightcorelucario2218]

I mean OP is technically correct but most certainly not in the way that phrase is usually used for

[@iyaayas]

@@Michael.CrazedAlaska I agree with your Devil's Advocate reasoning because it's necessary while disagreeing at the same time. Thanks for bringing your thoughts.

[@iglowinthedark3645]

I'm kind of curious where she's from Because being married at 22 is very young in my culture

[@myounakami]

Story 2: I'm sorry is this OP's house or prison? It really sounds like OP expected her niece to be in solitary confinement for two weeks. On the bright side, OP won't have to worry about the niece breaking her house rules anymore because I'm sure the niece will never want to set foot in her house again.

[@anonymousinternetperson]

I'm starting to get the feeling the husband is the cause of the wife's mental health issues

[@khaleesireyna731]

I've been in a similar situation to OP (in my case, my very abusive father). I'll bet dollars to Donuts, you're right.

[@gebucik]

@@khaleesireyna731 I

[@gebucik]

@@khaleesireyna731 be o

[@gebucik]

@@khaleesireyna731 and then the next

[@gebucik]

@@khaleesireyna731 I

[@CarinaCoffee]

Story 2: I'm just... what?!? This makes no sense whatsoever. Like, wouldn't it be rude not to offer a beverage if someone drove all the way to drop something off? Also imagine she had a study group over. Oh the horror. That's a surefire gateway to an orgy from OP's perception, I'm sure.

[@crowdemon_archives]

And what if the husband is familiar with the subjects she's studying her exams for?

[@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909]

Story one: sounds like the ex is emotionally manipulative to the OP

[@davidsantiagotate7380]

Story 1: what exactly is husband playing at? He’s constantly giving mixed signals as to whether he wants to be with OP or not. I’m wondering if it’s less about love and more about possession. Like he doesn’t love her but still wants to control her

[@GraveyardMaiden]

Hear me out OP isn't being honest, and is skewing the truth for sympathy/ validation.

[@bailey7792]

@@GraveyardMaiden Literally this. Im so tired of the I have a mental illness.. but also... almost no responsibility as to why my marriage fell apart. I have a mental illness, and my SO is just mean and not understanding. Shes the one who kept entertaining the mixed signals and living in the same household. Plus recruiting him to measure and move all her stuff (not to a new place, but to a different room in the house), hugging him when he needed a 'friend' even after telling him to stop doing that. Oh and also... now getting black out drunk and hooking up with someone that her husband knows before she's even divorced, like it wouldn't cause all kinds of problems for her. Oh and also also.. pretending to be shocked when her husband went through all of her social media, even though he specifically told her to change her passwords.. because he knew he was going to be tempted to look. Soo what happened to that then lol? She just thought he was just joking and wouldn't actually do it? This girl is leaving out giant chunks of this story. She very obviously is playing a huge role in her own downfall.. yet wants to blame her ex for almost everything. And its annoying af lol

[@Callimo]

@@bailey7792 Uh, no. Op is literally giving her husband so many outs and is trying to be super understanding while trying to get better. It's quite telling that you hear that someone is struggling with an anxiety disorder and you immediately go into "ugh, they must be faking" like a dip.🤔

[@bailey7792]

@@Callimo Never one single time did I claim she was 'faking it'. Where tf did I say that? What I DID SAY... is that she IS CONTRIBUTING to these problems and is acting like she isnt. She likes to pretend her husband is the only problem, while she's just been this poor angel. Im sorry but no. She's helping to make it worse, while pretending like she's done nothing wrong.

[@GraveyardMaiden]

@@Callimo she could be using her diagnosis into guilt tripping him into staying in the house, like her whole "he's leaving me to handle my mental illness all by myself" speech in the beginning of her post is a red flag to me

[@AndyyWithAY]

I don't like Nate either. She'd been drinking and said no kissing then he continued trying. I don't like that. OP's bar for acceptable behavior is very low, so she'd miss red flags.

[@Cel3ere5]

That she did. She just walked right by them, twice, just with Nate.

[@middaydraws3379]

Story 2: What's worse about this story is that OP tries to say "Oh she can go out just not have anyone at the house" but with how OP acted when Niece's husband showed up I 100% believe she made snarky comments about it. Not to mention I'm getting a really odd feeling about the need to say "My husband's half brother's daughter" why not just say "My husband's niece" is enough information for the context of the story. This feels like Aunt Karen here has some weird gripe about her niece's father.

[@missmax2492]

That ex is *abusive* and a stalker at that.

[@glitchyglitchy3925]

She'll probably feel much better once she leaves that husband. He sounds extremely manipulative.

[@oldwelshlady6584]

HE DOESNT WANT HER BUT HE DOESNT WANT ANYONE ELSE TO WANT HER!!!! HE IS AN ABUSER!!!!

[@schwagecko5589]

Anybody else worried that Nate was kissing her when she was drunk and had said she thought it wasn't a good idea? Also he knows her situation. It seems he wants to go faster than OP is comfortable with/prepared for and may not be respecting that.

[@WolvenDragonZ]

Agreed. She's not even fully divorced yet and she says she isn't ready. I get if you feel some pity for her with how she was talking about herself but then be a friend and help her rebuild her self esteem, don't pressure her into a relationship she's already told you "no" on. She's going to fall right back into dependency if she doesn't take care of her self and demand everyone respect her boundaries

[@khaleesireyna731]

I thought so, too. I'll give him a moment since she and Nate talked and she was able to articulate how she felt. If he pushes further then it's a no go, but I'd be willing to pass this off on "everyone's been drinking" as long as it's a one-time thing.

[@schwagecko5589]

@@khaleesireyna731 Yeah. I did think it might just be a drunk thing but given that people in abusive relationships are more likely to be sucked into another one I hope she's careful

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

@@khaleesireyna731 OP should definitely stay away from alcohol, between the low tolerance and being on anti-depressants.

[@emotional.support.goblin]

Second story: Lady is a control freak and doesn't seem to realize that humans are social animals and burnout is a real thing. But the commentary missed a crucial point. The niece offered to pay the utilities, she wasn't asked or told to. Still, not 'allowing' her to see her husband is waaaaay over the top.

[@crowdemon_archives]

Like, is her husband suddenly a goddamned stranger?

[@jerriewyatt905]

Last story… OP’s absolutely ridiculous! It was like they were getting it on , on the kitchen floor for Pete sakes! He HUSBAND brought her a paper she needed and she gave him a coffee , not some nooky!

[@AlexRising_]

Ben is an abuser. My ex husband did the same thing to me. He punished me for moving on and constantly dangled the idea of reconciliation in front of me. He didn’t love me. He loved having a safety net. Keep holding your boundaries, OP.

[@britnicox3929]

I would bet real money the husband is exacerbating or contributing to her anxiety and depression. I cannot believe that him going off on her doctor like that is new behavior

[@khaleesireyna731]

If I'd been that doctor from the beginning, I'd be risking it all to chew his ass out right there because you're probably right.

[@DarkAngel65989]

Story 1- OP need to get away from the house and her ex. He being manipulative and trying to get OP to go back with him, OP deserve to find someone who love her, and I think Nate would be that person

[@GIChiyo]

Story 1: He was trying to control her, even after the breakup, wow I bet the depression and anxiety issues got better due to her leaving him...he was the problem

[@whitneybennett4857]

This guys is showing plenty of signs of being the generic abuser. He doesn't want her, but wants to make sure nobody else can have her. He's totally stringing her along. He seems fed up with her "crap" when they're still together but acts all remorseful and apologetic and doting whenever she tries to make it clear that she doesn't care about saving the marriage anymore. Not to mention he also just always wants someone ready at his beck and call whenever he's "feeling horny."

[@khaleesireyna731]

It's called love-bombing/hoovering. It's pretty common with narcissistic people. Once you get tired of their shit behavior toward you, you start to plan your exit. THEN they come out with all this love and affection they withheld, and it reminds you of why you loved them and just like a hoover vacuum, they suck you back in. It's a cycle. The only way to beat it, is to not play.

[@ronniec427]

Story 2: What is OP's problem? Is she power hungry or something? She is very controlling. If my spouse did that to my niece I would be livid.

[@dodgyyoutuber9560]

Jeez what an awful husband. I was conflicted about his behaviour until the “I’m just horny” thing. What the heck???

[@khaleesireyna731]

Ooh I was on his bs when he's berating her to tears in front of the doctor. Anyone who has no problem making their loved on cry in front of others/in public and feels no remorse is complete trash.

[@lindalehr1551]

Yes Mark, story 2 is definitely worth a double holy moly!

[@floraposteschild4184]

S2: Is OP a time traveler from 1850? Even so, the "man" is HER HUSBAND?! Niece must have been really desperate to stay at OP's place.

[@owl7072]

Why would he even care if Op's interested in someone else if he's supposedly not in love with her anymore? If he's acting _this_ jealous and possessive, it makes you start to wonder if what he did was some sort of test or power move to see if she'd push back and fight him on it and now he's upset it backfired. Edit: Dude's really out here having a fit huh 🙄 "I don't love you anymore and we're seperating/divorcing but I'm still going to try and control you and have hissy fits where I insult you whenever you do something I personally don't like, but anyway come back so we can give our relationship another try" 💀

[@khughes9574]

Story 1: I wish the OP would watch the movie "Gaslight". It may give her insight into her STBX behavior. Story 2: Are you trying to avoid having house guests? Because this is how you avoid having house guests.

[@deusdamnit]

Story 2 - Utility increase: Whether or not niece offered to pay for utilities, it likely was coerced. I've never heard of anyone paying for utilities on a short stay with family, maybe just buying breakfast or making some meals during the stay. Something tells me that niece offered because she didn't trust that they would let her stay out of the kindness of their hearts. I wonder why that is... But, seriously, can we just take a second to appreciate the insanity of this scenario? 1. Niece is an adult; 2. Niece is paying rent (if you pay to stay, you're paying rent); 3. Niece's only social visitor was her husband, who was delivering something related to her stay. Now, you could make an argument that OP is leaving out something that might explain why she seems to distrust, even hate, their niece, but it seems to me that the reality here is that they just don't trust niece. And, because they don't trust niece, they don't trust her husband, or that she can keep to their rules. I'm still trying to fathom how being visited by a relative is a breach of those rules. Like, do they expect her to spend her entire time with them with her nose in a book? Even if they did, why would they enforce that? Why would they think that they could enforce it? "You're not doing schoolwork, time to send you home. Hope you fail your exams." Like, it's one of those things where the rules weren't ever enforceable, so why'd they bother having them? To lord it over her? To make her feel like she was ungrateful? There was no end-goal that wouldn't harm their relationship with her or other family.

[@Spagettigeist]

Conserning the utilities... while two weeks aren't much, we don't know their financial situation. For some people that could be a burden, so asking for utility is not necessarily crazy... the rest however... yeah... totally crazy controlling behaviour. Where's that woman's common sense?

[@Akichan07]

Sick as a dog, but happy to listen to the sultry sounds of Mark

[@MarkNarrations]

Feeling the same mate, coughing the last few days :( Hope yours recovers soon!

[@huntresswane9947]

Feel better soon both of you

[@hunnykun101]

Get well and plenty of rest

[@Akichan07]

@@MarkNarrations If you have elderberry syrup across the pond....I would suggest taking it

[@katie6731]

Arielle and Mark, I hope you both start recovering soon. Please take care of yourselves; the more you rest now, the sooner you'll be back up and around. I'm sending internet hugs and love to both of you 🤗💙

[@johndb1860]

Last story: I was actually leaning towards NTA until the word husband appeared. The rule was probably in place because they didn't want random people showing up at their house which is fair. But husband? Full YTA

[@helenasouza9196]

Story 2: OP is clearly a Karen and she didnt want her niece there to begin with, that's why she was giving her a hard time. Story 1: op's husband is an abuser, he doesn't want get anymore, but he doesnt want anyone to have her either. He just like making her feel like sh*t over him, ego trip or something.

[@coreymartin6486]

Story 2....very possible.

[@DrownedInExile]

S1: That was exhausting. The STBXH is like a diseased limb, that unfortunately OP doesn't yet have the means to cut off. I will agree with him on one thing: she needs to change all her passwords, PINs, codes, secure her documents etc. And set a clear timetable for getting the hell away from Ben.

[@tegantalks9612]

Story 2- YTA. It’s her HUSBAND! She’s not bringing over random dudes to sleep with at all hours, she invited her husband in for a quick coffee after he dropped something off for her. I really hope someone treats OP this harshly when they’re a guest

[@khaleesireyna731]

The main story had me going "you sound exhausting" to OP. The part where she said her family agreed with her made me go "oh, so you're ALL exhausting, got it".

[@badkitty4922]

Story 1: OP's situation hits home hard, for me. Substitute dogs and cats for children and I'm nearly there with my SO. I'm the one with the mental illnesses. I can't rn.

[@heymrnickerbocker]

If you story is ANYTHING like the first story, I have no problem telling you to RUN HARD AND FAST.

[@badkitty4922]

@@heymrnickerbocker thanks, luv, I'm working on it on the down low. I've got several mental health specialists in my corner and one is going to help me file for, and get SSI so that I'll have my own income. I haven't since an injury in 2013. I'll be doing what I can with good people behind me. The only thought that TRULY kills me is the idea that I might have to leave my animals behind. They're MY BABIES, and I've raised the dogs from 10 weeks til now (they turned 6 in July and are siblings) and the cats/kittens turned 1 in June. Just trying to keep my spine shiny and my lips sealed.👍😘💖

[@heymrnickerbocker]

@Bad Kitty please do. Don't let it get to you. I know it's hard. Get your SSI and use your full support system. Don't let anyone make you feel like you need them!!! Your confidence will always shine through once you're away from the toxicity.

[@ivorynk752]

If that's the case your SO may be causing a lot of your problems.

[@badkitty4922]

@@ivorynk752 it's quite possible that he's exacerbating my emotional/mental health issues. He's not EXACTLY like OP's soon to be ex but, there are enough parallels that had me cussing and raising my voice listening to the story. I also felt like it was a Gibbs' smack to wake me up. He's not helping and making some things worse but, I'm not taking him to a session because I doubt it would help me. Thank you so much for caring!💖😘👍

[@maddy8328]

Story 2, bringing men over? That's her husband. He came to give her something and was going to leave. What the fuck.

[@Khiarika1]

The guy tells her that while drunk she said “Im too old for you to be attracted to me” and the estranged husband says “Youre too old to be out drinking”, gee I wonder where she got that from 😏

[@gngrblls2thwall]

S2: Holy sh*t that was a curveball. I was expecting niece to break the rules by throwing a party not by having her husband deliver her homework.

[@SylverLeo]

Story 1: There’s always light at the end of the tunnel. Whether it be in life or death Story 2: Considering what my family is like, she wouldn’t be the @sshole. My family is very toxic

[@kateemma22]

The poor doctor sitting there like 'I think I know where some of the depression might have come from'.

[@khaleesireyna731]

I would've been willing to risk my license and just yelled at the dude until HE cried. Nothing but spitting facts at what a piece of shit he's being. Finish it off with looking at the wife (OP) and just be like "get that divorce. You'll thank me later".

[@dancing0nthe3dge]

Here I am, with generalized anxiety disorder and OCD and cptsd, and my husband has been incredibly supportive. We've been together 10 years and it really speaks to for better and for worse, in sickness and health.

[@Lillypop93]

Story 2 I know a lot of guys who would have held on to the fact she said men as in plural there's a real chance her husband walks away from this thinking she cheats

[@addicted2mako]

This guy is like a little kid who discards a toy because it's no longer fun for him, then gets angry when another kid starts to play with it! You made your bed, my dude, so lie in it! Let OP go so the both of you can move on!

[@NottyAries]

S1: sometimes you have to get a divorce to discover that your depression was caused by an unhealthy relationship.

[@snackattack7318]

For having anxiety and depression, on OP‘s part, and having her husband not love her because of it. It sounds like he has depression, anxiety, and control issues on top of all of that.

[@loe_chil]

The man in the first story is awful! It's so sad too. I wish op heaps of happiness, in spite of op's ah ex.

[@JMac7395]

Story 1: OP's ex husband isn't going through "burn out". He's just a selfish controlling asshole that likes to kick his wife when she's down. Notice how the ex husband's controlling & hostile behavior increased as OP attempted to mentally & physical disconnect from. He enjoys putting her through that chaotic drama.

[@jettanyx1]

#1 moving out needs to be a higher priority. He still has control over her and she will only get worse

[@Mewse1203]

Be kind, be safe and take care of yourself. Have a great day.

[@thotimusprimeofficial273]

that first one,,,, legit BEGGING she let herself have that love Nate is offering.

[@spyderbyte975]

Story 2: BRUH IT'S HER HUSBAND. SHE'S AN ADULT WOMAN WITH A HUSBAND. that's goddamn ridiculous.

[@xbubbas7123]

As soon as I heard "Nate~" I verbally cheered you on.

[@mellodees3663]

U4: Wow my parents in their 30s well into their 50s still go late night partying with friends (not ragers obviously), and sibling and I were always with trusted carers. What's too old to do what?

[@soup331emd5]

Story 2: "Sure you can stay with us, but for an exorbitant fee and also you're grown ass is grounded,"

[@khaleesireyna731]

I've got a personal rule: I'm 28. I don't care if you're 29 or 69, you speak to me like an equal adult. You talk down to me, try to enforce rules on me, give me your unasked for opinion on my life, or just try to boss me around (if you're not one of the 3 Fs: you aren't feeding me, financing me, or, f*cking me) you're gonna hit some hard boundary lines and you may be shown the door. Simple. Funny enough, it's adults in their 40s and 50s who test me on that the most.

[@MarionHogan-m5i]

The cup of coffee with her husband warranted a double ‘moley’ from Mark

[@pebble5478]

Would love a shirt/hoodie with “Holy Moly Moly” 🤣

[@pinkesthibiscus]

Had a stressful day and my mental health has been a bit rocky but now I’m lying in a bubble bath with a face mask on and listening to this video and I feel miles better 😊 if you see this, thanks Mark! I hope everyone’s having a good day 💗

[@eeriekalle3856]

That sounds like a dream come true at the moment. Will take a bubble bath as soon as my little munchkins permit. Hope your day turns the right way up. Stay strong.

[@paulchaudoir190]

She's the only one who's being loyal and yet she doesn't need to be. Her ex is gaslighting her big time. She needs to let go and needs to stop lying to herself. I think she'll feel better if she lets Nate be kind to her and take her out on a date.

[@tishjanuary7379]

1) only part way & it’s frustrating listening to the OP because I’ve been there. It’s difficult when you are in the middle of it to not see what’s obvious to everyone else.

[@shellchenonceau6987]

She experiences everything Ingrid Bergman's character went through in the movie that gave us the term "gaslighting." Shows how narc spouses make you feel weak ON PURPOSE! To control.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

1. They need to live in separate places....different houses. Not just different room. He does not respect her at all.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

PS. Her depression and anxiety is from abuse from her husband. The more story goes the more I get it. She will be fine and recover when she divorce and cut contact. She needs to get out, before he hurts her physically.

[@Swnsasy]

Talk about a narcissistic AH... It is crazy how statistics show that only 22% of husbands stay with a wife after a disability but it's 73% of wives that stay with the husband.. It's so very sad but also understandable when people say men and women are different when it comes to emotions on a genetic level... He wants her when she's well but wants nothing to do with her when she isn't... My husband is the 3%... I got very sick for 5yrs but, he says he's never going anywhere because I'm more than just my illness.... She needs to MOVE OUT and move on!! Story 2 YTA, YTA, YTA BIG TIME!! WOW! 2wks and her own husband can't come drop her school work off to her for staying there only 2wks!?! That woman is ridiculous and pathetic...

[@afrogwitch]

Story 1: I hope OP will have some fun with Nate. No need to make it serious or anything, involve the kids or whatever. Just discreet fun on her on time. Too many mothers forget they are women too, or just PEOPLE. Especially the ones with shit abusive husbands.

[@WolvenDragonZ]

I don't like that he's not respecting her saying no though. She's not even fully out of the relationship yet, wait for her to be comfortable instead of pushing it

[@natytambasco]

The story one is one of my nightmares, someone trying to make me not get better and trying to trap me to them

[@khaleesireyna731]

Some people will only feel they have worth if someone else feels worthless. In my harsh, jaded, opinion, those people deserve to feel worthless all on their own.

[@oakenshadow6763]

Last story: That is her husband. Her HUSBAND! Who was bringing her things for her education.

[@aylanae4797]

Story 2. 😱Mark; What kinda house is this ? 🫨 Right???? She's crazy as catnip🤯

[@FriedaMMartin]

Good afternoon! Last day of school before my son goes on winter break

[@JoJoGranum]

Last day of school for my son too we are going on vacation Monday ! He’s excited . First time in 3 years!!

[@evil_angel_xoxo]

May the odds be ever in your favor lol I have a couple days before my 3 are home for break

[@deifieddata4462]

That's good news

[@mikea491]

Mid story thought: if it's as bad as I think it is, it may be that he just can't take it anymore. It's hard on the one suffering, but it's also hard on the people who love them and watch them suffer. They can't help, or when they try it somehow feels like it's gotten worse. He could be the cause of her issues, but he could also be just a broken shell of a man watching the woman he loves loser herself. Alzheimers is an extreme example, but an example none the less. Edit: think he might just be an abusive prick.

[@khaleesireyna731]

Lol you had me there in the first half, ngl! Your edit had me laughing. But yeah, I've been in a toxic family relationship and have dealt with mental health issues similar to OP. Dollars to Donuts that dude is either exacerbating her issues or he's just straight up the cause.

[@TriXJester]

Story 1: God OP's Husband/Ex is such a pathetic excuse of a man. The more I listen to these stories about these men and women who supposedly love each other it behaving in this way it honestly makes me sick. Like seriously, people in straight relationships, why the hell do you put up with this crap? I truly do not understand.

[@sadtitties222]

I mean, people in queer relationships can and have done these things, too. Let's not assign abuse to sexuality. EVERYONE is capable, not just the straights.

[@madcatlady]

she doesn't sound like she was the problem at all other than not being able to cope having a husband with antisocial personality disorder

[@maggpiprime954]

Hooooooly Farquad! That first story is bonkers! Get out, OP. Your ex is convincing you you're unworthy. Get out and take things slow and sweet with Nate. S2: Mark, the second moly was well-warranted! 😂

[@jennilynne1977]

OP's soon to be ex sounds very abusive and she needs to find a way to move out. I hope everything works out for her. I hope everyone is having a great day/afternoon/night! Peace ☮️, hugs 🤗 and love 😘!

[@NotAFanOfHandles]

S2: The rest of the dumpster fire that are OP's rules aside, OP doesn't seem to realize that doing nothing _but_ studying is the *wrong* way to study. In order to let your brain process and commit to memory the things you are trying to learn, you need to take short breaks. Half an hour of coffee with one's _husband_ who kindly came over to drop off some important paperwork is a perfectly acceptable break that will only improve the studying outcome. OP is a Karen.

[@dustysimpson7864]

Hubby only wants you because someone else is in the pitcher. If you take him back, you will so regret it. Oh, next time you go out, get a babysitter.

[@louisejohnson6057]

If people are going to just going to F off out of their marriages, when their partner gets sick, then they need to be honest before the wedding even happens. Just tell your fiancé that you want to have the "For Better Or For Worse, In Sickness And In Health" part dropped from the vows. I would be curious to see how something like that would go over.

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

"In sickness and in health", if you haven't any intention of following your vows, then don't say them.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@huntresswane9947]

Hey broken, happy Friday and hope you are doing well

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@huntresswane9947 heyo huntress hope you're well and that you'll have a good holiday. I'm alright. Much love m8🤗🤗💜💜

[@FlamesofJagger]

Happy Friday Broken. Hope you are well and staying safe and positive. Much love 🤗🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗🤗❤️❤️🤗🤗🤗💙💙🤗🤗🤗💛💛🤗🤗🤗

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@FlamesofJagger heyo jaggar hope you are well and hope you have a good holiday much love m8🤗🤗💜💜

[@carolroberts4614]

Hi Broken!I hope you are well! I have a horrible cold now, hoping it will be gone by Christmas! On the good sise, my knee is a lot better! Stay well.

[@paden1865able]

I've been using the sewing machine and turning out something really pretty, I'm kinda surprised at how quickly it all came back to me on how to do this. Someone is going to have a very nice Christmas gift!

[@slothdance2020]

uuhhh... Story 2! WTF! Her husband came to bring her a report she forgot and they are having coffee?!?!?!?! She is not throwing a kegger!

[@runawayfromtoads674]

I agree OP should take it slow with the new guy but she really needs to leave her husband. You can hear how much he has made her second-guess herself and diminished her self-esteem. I hope she'll be okay.

[@khaleesireyna731]

People like Ben are the exact reason people go years without having any self-esteem (didn't have any myself until I was 25. Got my emotionally/physically/psychologically/financially abusive father to thank for that). It's so sad and infuriating because it's like having no self-esteem leaves a scar, where the skin can be torn open again very easily. It leaves you vulnerable to someone else who will gladly tear open that wound all over again. Nothing makes me more angry than abusers like that because they know damn well what they're doing and I feel like the only thing that is ever going to make a difference for them is if they're made to feel as scared and helpless as their victims, but on the other hand, I know that that truly won't do anything. Shit sucks, man.