I AM AUTOSEXUAL (Documentary)

Neurodivergent filmmaker Alyssa shares her unique experience of self-attraction and how it impacts her relationships, self-care, and internal life.
Transcript for this video: docs.google.com/document/d/1a...
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--CHAPTERS--
0:00 Intro & Content Warning
0:40 Disclaimer
1:07 WHAT IS AUTOSEXUALITY?
3:26 MISCONCEPTIONS
6:21 MY EXPERIENCE
8:46 RELATIONSHIPS
10:46 THE ROLE OF DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER
12:34 A DEEPER LOOK
17:55 CONCLUSION AND CREDITS
19:10 BLOOPERS
Labels: Helpful or Harmful? • Labels: Helpful or Har...
The "clones" and “celebrity twin” Tik Toks video I used are by fellow autosexual creator Devonairé. Check out his video on his experience with autosexuality: • I’m Autosexual 🧖🏽🪞
Devonairé's socials: linktr.ee/TheLivingShadow
Check out Anthony Padilla's video on autosexuality! • I spent a day with AUT... 1
I love Anthony's videos. Knowing he was gonna cover the topic gave me the push I needed to finally make this video that I already planned to do. I did not watch Anthony's video until after mine was finished, so I was pleasantly surprised to see just how much I related to the interviewees. I did use some questions from Anthony's viewers to give me some starting points for my script.
MORE INFO ON MULTIPLICITY:
---Intro to Multiplicity---
whisperingflowers953329189.wo...
---System Types---
whisperingflowers953329189.wo...
---Alter Types---
traumadissociation.com/alters
MORE INFO ON DID:
Basic definition: did-research.org/did/
More info: www.psychologytoday.com/us/co...
MY MULTIPLICITY: THE LUSHIA SYSTEM • My Multiplicity ~ The ...
(Note: This video is a bit outdated, my alters currently don't feel as comfortable announcing themselves in my streams and videos, though they will still front and co-front in them.)
If you are concerned that anyone claiming to have DID/be multiple is faking, please watch this videos:
"Factitious/FAKE DID: The Expert Checklist | Dissociative Identity Disorder" by MultiplicityandMe: • Factitious/FAKE DID: T...
"FAKING A DISORDER!? DID | Dissociative Identity Disorder | Mental Health | DissociaDID REUPLOAD" by DissociaDID: • FAKING A DISORDER!? DI...
My autism documentary (Through Our Eyes) ➤ • "Through Our Eyes: Liv...
My Gaming Channel & Livestreams ➤ / gingersnaspie
My fantasy novel series (Vael) ➤ world-of-vael.blogspot.com/
Autism & Disability Resources ➤ tinyurl.com/neurolushiaresources
My Blog ➤ www.neurolushia.com
Facebook ➤ / neurolushia
Twitter ➤ / neurolushia
--MUSIC CREDITS--
Music by Kevin MacLeod (song list in video credits)
incompetech.filmmusic.io
License: filmmusic.io/standard-license
Music by Purple Planet
Music: www.purple-planet.com/
"Enchanted River" by jdrcomposer is the song I was singing with at 16:30.
Here’s a link to their channel:
/ @jdrcomposer

[@NeuroLushia]

I'm not used to talking about this stuff, so making this film was a bit uncomfortable for me at first. I grew up not being open about sex or sexuality, so it feels strange and taboo to discuss it, even if I'm not getting into too much detail. But I wanted to spread awareness of this sexuality since it's not very well-known. So thank you for your curiosity, and for sharing your thoughts in the comments.

[@halfforeignamericana5451]

Thank you for this. It was really affirming to not feel like something is wrong w me

[@NeuroLushia]

@@halfforeignamericana5451 I'm so happy you found it helpful ♥

[@boogiemcsploogie]

Hey thanks for this, I already feel like an alien here but I feel better knowing it's....not just me with this:)

[@drebates666]

I think I'm autosexual because I'm more into self pleasure. Some women do it for me and some don't. But I'll rather please myself.

[@Sabedorioculta]

Obrigado, brazil

[@wistaban]

Thank you for this video. I've been autosexual for over 8 years now. I dated one person 5 years ago and it's when I realized that I was autosexual. I've slept with over 50 people in my 20s and NONE of them were able to satisfy me emotionally and physically like when I make love to myself.

[@nevvawinter7331]

My heart is singing from watching this video. I’m auto too, and hearing someone else who’s auto too, and explains this as well as you did, is INCREDIBLY affirming.

[@fh5926]

Mastrbation is sex with someone you love. I'm also autistic and introverted. It never occurred to me that autosexuality was a "thing." I just figured everyone else wes just impaired in their ability to enjoy themselves. I also figure most people are not comfortable with solitude. They are not comfortable just in their own skin.

[@revolutionradio2244]

I am attracted to clothing, especially full body costumes because I am turned off by the human body, and the sense of arousal seems especially strong when I am, or looking at photos of, myself dressed in such a way.

[@samirah4786]

I didn't have the words for this for a while...this really resonated. I'm also autistic and I also have multiple selves (not DID exactly but I do have different selves)...so I was really shocked listening to the video to hear one thing after another that we share in common. My guess is that being autistic makes some of these identities more likely ! The same way I know a lot of autistic queer people (I'm also queer.) Or maybe it's that we are more likely to do the deep internal self reflection necessary to understand our sexuality, since one aspect of us is already divergent. Anyway great video and it was affirming to me :)

[@CrimsonNavy-qn7ld]

Wow, I've never related to someone so much in a YT comment. I thought for a while after being assessed and diagnosed Autistic that I'd confused my sexuality, I wasn't straight I was gay. But it wasn't right. But this video and your comment, I've never felt similiar to someone else till now.

[@darklumwolf1016]

This vidio made me really happy!🥺💖

[@MOJORAPSCALLION]

This was eye opening I didn’t know this was a thing. That said I don’t know all the different sexual types.

[@CaryOneal77]

This explains me so much love this documentary. I've known I was autosexual and autoromantic for over a decade now and I'm on the spectrum too.

[@BlackRabbit223]

Cant say I blame you, you are very attractive. Inside and out.

[@AlcoholicCake]

quite fascinating didn't autosexuality was a thing. thanks for the doc, pretty interesting infos !

[@dbono11]

Absolutely fantastic! This documentary is so great. I enjoyed watching it very much

[@zellalaing5439]

The other thing I'd say is, you can also project the love and attraction of yourself onto others youre with. Having sex but youre imagining it from their point of view, feeling close, but its because you are thinking about the love they have for you as if its you rather than you having love for them.

[@annspirit24]

I'm so happy that I have found you, I'm autoromantic and it scares me to tell this my mom and friends

[@savvyp8664]

This video blew my mind this is great content 🧡🧡🧡

[@KatTheLavaGirl]

I came here from Anthony Padilla. I was curious and wanted to learn more :)

[@NeuroLushia]

That's awesome! Anthony's video inspired me to go ahead and open up about my experiences with autosexuality. :) I love his work and I'm glad he covered the topic. Thanks for watching!

[@GlyphicEnigma]

I hope this video goes viral UwU

[@moleybear]

This the first time I have heard the term. I now would say am asexual with autosexual tendernceces

[@chrisheartman9263]

I'm going through a very fucking bad moment, my self esteem and how I see myself has been getting worse and worse and worse. Seeing your video about autosexuality in Azeal's channel really soothed me, it almost allowed to feel positive feelings towards myself. Thank you.

[@adampryor1289]

Wow, it's amazing to hear your story! I'm also autistic and have had a very similar experience with sex and intimacy throughout my life. Thank you for sharing such a personal topic. It's good to know others feel and experience these same things.

[@miroymohi]

As a median system who is one central glob of being, our Autosexuality will always come first before any other label. Love this.

[@Albertgalaxx1]

Beautiful video really❤

[@CC-jr8kb]

Thought I was a weirdo. Thank you so much for talking about autosexuality!

[@sketchmastertask3093]

Thanks for this kinda thought I was the only one like this. Actually I sorta felt guilty in the past for enjoying myself. Not for any particular reason really. Actually usually my guilt stems from my feelings on how other people would judge me if they saw. I personally don't have any issues with how I feel about myself but get that little voice in my mind that talks shit all the time, you know the one. Well anywho its that "voice" that causes the guilt because the stigma against masturbation sexuality and anything greater than "keeping it clean" yea my biggest issue is how I perceive others perceiving me than how I perceive myself. Society is cruel so I internalize that cruelness when thinking how others would see me. I do enjoy myself probably more so than I enjoy experiencing others BUT I do very much enjoy others enjoying me. Like I don't really feel any longing to caress or seduce anyone else but I have a HUGE thing for being fondled caressed and seduced. Actually that is often how my "personal time" fantasies go. Like I don't have any desire to seduce or caress anyone else but imaging being used and seduced by someone else is a HUGE turn on. This often goes far enough to fantasize being seduced and caressed in ways that are socially frowned upon (like being molested while intoxicated for example) this gets me hot and bothered in a good way even though I would never be able to do these things to anyone else even if they asked me to. Its these feelings that that inner "voice" attacks and guilt trips myself over. Like what kinda person fantasizes about being seduced and used. Yea... I mention the specifics of my fantasies only so you can understand the feelings of guilt I feel about my sexual desires. I know I'm weird but eh I AM ME...

[@NeuroLushia]

I'm glad you stumbled upon my video. I relate a lot to what you describe... the guilt, the voice in your head telling how others might view you, even the kinks about being seduced, etc. There's nothing wrong with how you are, in my opinion. Would you be open to chatting more on the topic via a DM on Facebook or Twitter? I might have some resources you'd find helpful. FB: facebook.com/NeuroLushia Twitter: twitter.com/NeuroLushia

[@sketchmastertask3093]

@Lushia's Neurodivergent Life I don't use social media I used to have accounts but deleted them all a few years back because I was spending too much time on them and someone recommended I step away for a bit and see if mood improved. Long story short it did so I permanently deleted accounts. For the MOST part I don't regret the decision. Anywho sorry no social media for me... But yes I am very relieved to know I'm not alone in my sexual and relationship kinks... Feeling alone in the whole ordeal actually exasperated and intensified the negative self talk. Seeing and hearing it explained so perfectly actually helps more than anything with getting me to accept me. Thank you for the great explanation, it really helped put things into perspective and silence the "judgmental voice" on how I perceive others perceiving myself. I used to believe it was just a weird part of my autism but apparently its more normal a thing than I thought. Your awesome! Much of the guilt feeling stems from my perception of societies options of sex and relationships. Teaching young people that sex is evil and to be avoided at all costs or One will burn in hell (or similar damnation) is extremely damaging to that person as they grow up. We should teach respect and healthy sexual and relationship boundaries so when we grow we have a healthy view on it instead of toxic belief systems that have to first be suffered through than identified, unlearned and relearned properly. All the while damaging and toxifying ones awareness and leading to toxic unhealthy viewpoints. Teach respect and control not shame and avoidance... P.S. Before watching this video I had never heard of this term. So I'm still trying to figure out what it means. It seems to sound like myself BUT until I know more about it (pending further research)I can't say yes I am or no I'm not but at first impressions it does seem to "Strike the nail on the head".

[@sketchmastertask3093]

I added you on fb

[@daphne8353]

Cool video. I'm not autosexual but it's really eye-opening.

[@BoredPodcaster]

Yay Lushia :)

[@ultimateness1921]

Really kool doc

[@Jumpingonpaws]

4:13 what’s that discord server? I can’t find it and I would be really happy to take a look at it.

[@girlygirllocssoul]

Thank you for your video. You have put into words some of my feelings and my ways of being me. I so appreciate for your sharing you. You have help me greatly. 🥰💙/🤍🖤

[@NeuroLushia]

I'm so happy you've found it helpful

[@zdravkogeorgiev7201]

Yes it is

[@themilennialmilllepede7994]

I don't think all of these disorder labels are healthy for people. I think that we are pathologizing normal human reactions to cultural and social environments that our species did not evolve for. We were ironically contrary to what documentaries would have you believe-very low stress. If we lived in high stress environments with trauma then trauma wouldn't be such a big deal-or non-existent. In hunter-gatherer tribes that live how our ancestors lived there's a lot of physical contact with the baby where as in modern culture there's little. Children were not punished for being "noisy" or "hyper" and we lived in intimate bands of around 200 people. So if the child wanted to run off and play another adult could look after them. Now days children don't have such freedom and thus we do not have an ability to properly adapt to parents who tell them to "stop crying" or "do as I say because I say so." Sexuality was not shamed and the only thing that was shamed was anti-social behavior such as violence, narcissism and preventing others access to resources. Punishment of children was also extremely rare as they learned through observing the sharing and positive communities they were in. Now we're living in an environment that tells us all kinds of things that society and even our parents don't live up to. "To be ourselves" then punishes us for doing what we're told because it's "inappropriate"-even if it's not harmful. It can go the other way too-the child gets fussy and the parents dismiss it and tell them to sit still or something of the effect, constantly pushing us-at increasingly younger ages-to ignore what comes naturally. Then if the child cries to get rid of the stress (and according to certain evolutionary psychologists crying and pain evolved as a way to prevent others from hurting us)-they get scolded and punished for doing something *they cannot even control*. Or during a conflict parents tell the child to go to their room and cry about it-which could lead to them not knowing when to seek out help and then hate themselves for being 'too sensitive' when it was others around them who made them that way in the first place. The way i see it-these disorders are not actually disorders. They are natural response to a social and culture environment we did not evolve for.

[@thomasbentz8360]

hmm this may have awakened something within me lol

[@VirusFlexovitch]

holy shit foxdreemurr reference

[@fenomenosnaturaisascurrasc]

Im autosexual

[@thaiazulmarinho]

Eu sou Autosexual 😊

[@gavin.mcnaught]

First bruh