I Considered Suicide

[@BigSopranoPlays]

I forgot to mention that it would’ve been a really stupid idea. There are people who have it worse for me, I just have mental issues

[@BurntCookiesYT]

having "mental health issues" doesn't make a desire to escape suffering irrational. if it's rational in every other case, then someone claiming that it's irrational in your case is making a claim that would need to be backed up with why having "mental health issues" is relevant. Moreover, there is no single definitive test for so-called "mental health issues", just as how there wasn't for homosexuality.

[@Aydenitro]

I'm pretty stupid and suck at explaining emotions but I just you too know I love you man, keep uploading and please don't die👍

[@AmongTheDivided]

❤God bless you! I’m sorry for the troubles you are going through. I pray the lord will bless you abundantly, bring you peace & joy & bring you out from those dark places in your life. The battle we fight isn’t against flesh & blood but have faith and stay close to the lord. It’s hard but I’m thankful you shared your feelings openly & honestly because now so many people will listen to you & share as well. No matter where you go or what you do, you are never too far gone! The enemy comes to kill, steal & destroy because they know you have blessings coming your way & want you to give up but don’t give up, hold on and share your experience with others. Thanks for reminding me that there are ups and downs but to always keep others in my thoughts and prayers. Peace and blessings!❤

[@lordjehovah3598]

its a dark hole man, im glad your getting better, we're here for u bigsoprano

[@ultraFUZIONz]

You’ll get better. Just keep pushing through

[@Enzebeta888]

Dude, those thoughts you gotta ignore. Killing yourself might probably be the worst idea, and I'm glad you thought twice, because if you do, you won't experience the things you love ever again. You just leave away what you hate and take some breaks, like meditating. I believe in you, man. I'm subscribing to make you feel better.

[@BMALCINE364]

Although I may not have seen your channel before this... I'm sorry for your mental state bro It really sucks when these kinds of things happen beyond our control, as someone who deals with OCD, I can relate. But let's acknowledge and consider the good and bad of it, and above all else, embrace them and continue onwards. Safe journeys bro!

[@_Hyda_]

Im sorry to hear that, i know what you mean, to think what was and could be and thinking about how someone did this or that. But the great think is that you are aware of your own thoughts and what that brings you. I would recommend going in KBT. It have helped me alot. Switching from negative thoughts to positive. In the beginning its hard, to rewire your brain to think different. I still have days when i thinking about what someone did or didn. Hope you feeling better.

[@EddieNarrea]

I'm sorry about what you're going through man i really hope you get the help you need I'll pray for you God bless ✝️💖

[@BurntCookiesYT]

My thoughts about ending it are constant, in large part due to my realization of the poor quality of life(asking myself what moments I would like to re-live, and only 20% of them were worth re-living), with surveys of ordinary peoples finding similar results(see Thomas Metzinger's suffering, the cognitive scotoma, only 28% or so deemed moments worth re-living by those surveyed) and spotting average people around me lacking compassion and being all-around horrible. Also my realization that most "nice" things people do can be explained by wanting gains in status to seek higher-quality and more mates, or other benefits. One should be suspicious of someone granting a positive value to life without evidence, as evolution would select for this delusion. I live because there is no relevant differences between me, an African child, and a nonhuman animal, like a chicken so I won't let myself suffer through ending the suffering of part of myself.

[@SennaTheSenna]

I'm not familiar with this channel but I'm so sorry to hear that. The thing with ruminating is that to get out of it you have to realize that the thoughts you are having are not real things that can hurt you. Regrets about things from the past, or worries about what the future may or may not bring, these are not things that have any impact on your current situation, on the present. Because the present is all there is. Though, I acknowledge that getting yourself to live fully in the present is much easier said than done. But something you can do to train that is that, whenever you realize you're ruminating, just try to observe your thoughts. Don't get upset or mad over the fact that you're having these thoughts, just let them be there without attaching any judgement to them. Realize that that is not you talking, it's just the mind that has taken control over you. You are not the thinker, observe the thinker so you can eventually detach yourself from it. I hope this helps somewhat, and if this sounds like a bunch of baloney to you, that's okay too. I'm just throwing this out there in the hopes of making a difference. Stay strong!

[@thepaperunicorn09]

Idk who you are because this vid just poped in my recommend, but keep yourself safe please, I'm going through a pretty rough time myself, but I'm just trying to thug it out , I know there's gonna be a light at the end of the tunnel, and there's gonna be one for you too ! We don't need more people killing themselves over things that will go away eventually, so yeah , be safe , stay healthy, and get the help you need , I hope the best for you and that you have a good future, have a wonderful day :>

[@grommit5999]

You had some horrible thoughts but you stopped yourself in the end, meaning that there is something in your brain stronger than those thoughts, find out what they are, whether it’s your passion for KZbin or music, your love for the people around you or the love for yourself. Find out what it is that is keeping you alive and put all your focus into that. We love you man, hang in there because it always gets better no matter how hopeless things may seem

[@Deadshotgaming419]

Playing video games just like you do is how i get my mind off of those things whenever i just cant shake them off

[@samesjustwimpy]

man i hope you get better man!

[@nyar511]

Hang in there my friend, when you hit your lowest you can only go up!! I’ve lost a few people to suicide lately, and I wouldn’t wish the pain on anyone. I hope things start to look up for you soon brother 🤝🤝🤝

[@Phoenixwaffles]

I am so sorry you've felt this way. I've got OCD and I have a lot of intrusive thoughts, and they are a lot more prominent when I'm already anxious or stressed out. I often think about things people have said, either bad things about me or good things they used to say but don't say anymore. What I try and do is stay busy. I clean the house I organize things, I fix things. It's the only way to keep my mind occupied when things are bad. I've tried being a little more active in the discord, I'm not used to talking to many people. But if you ever need a friend or someone to talk to, I'm always around.

[@Deadshotgaming419]

Same for me I feel you

[@sonicatyt1082]

I hope that your mental health improves! We’re with you.

[@Maximuss_b]

Hey man this just showed up on my feed and I just wanted to say how much you matter, keep going brother even when life throws you the shittiest curveballs ❤

[@MrBluePowers808]

I have been in a similar boat to recently. I cannot tell you it gets better or that life is worth living honestly. The one thing I can say though is that whatever is causing pain and anguish can only be rectified while you’re alive. Once you’re dead you cannot change anything, there is no redemption, there is no sympathy, it’s just void. I hope the best for you, take care of yourself.

[@bigchable]

I am sorry to hear what you’re experiencing. Ocd is tough. Try to keep yourself in the present moment and stay busy

[@VTH223]

0:50 Fuck I hate that. Like I dont want think about it but they just pop up for no reason (worst case scenario im trying to sleep and it feels like my body is trying to give itself an aneurysm as a means of "exploding") I do not know if this will help, but I will leave it in here anyway: whenever this happens, even if it would take time to, I would find something that would treat/fix the specific part of the problem stemming from overarching issue we seem to have, as dealing with the whole thing in one go would just lead to nothing given the complexity of it all. All that said, I hope you one day find peace with yourself and live knowing that as a stronger person, these issues will no longer hold you down like it did for so long, and finally be able to deal with these issues head on like I have.

[@Random64_]

Jesus loves you deeply, no matter how dark life feels right now. He died on the cross to show you that your life has infinite value and that even in the deepest pain, there is hope and redemption. Hold on to Him, for He promises, "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" (Matthew 11:28).

[@cadegaming6306]

I'm so sorry you had to feel that way, I really hope you get better

[@Silverthehedgehog4]

I’ll pray for you it will be OK in the end I promise I believe in you ❤

[@Soraru-The-Great]

just a guy talking about his issues and playing mario 64 while letting it all out. i've been there, just talking about it is enough to make ya feel better no matter what you're dealing with. i have a personal account where i do the same thing while playing a game i like, doesn't matter if it's an internet stranger, that's alright. who cares if other people got it worse? everyone deserves a little pat on the back to be able to keep going, does more to a guy than you'd expect.

[@duckyros3]

hey, this is the first video of yours that I have seen yet I deeply resonate with the subject matter. I don't know you, I don't know your story, but I do know that I understand how you feel. I am trying my best everyday even though it hurts, and I hope you do the same. because at the end of the day, we all die someday. why not live while you can? think of it as an experience. forget everything and just pursue YOUR wants, man. its easier said than done, but when you're this deep in depression, nothing can be worse. keep going. keep pushing. there's only one way left, and it's up.

[@j-lien]

thx 4 not alt f4'ing big soprano 🙏 youtube needs you brother

[@Mitzi-chan224]

I struggle from suicidal thoughts too, man. I use video games to escape those thoughts though, gaming makes me happy. ❤ I hope your doing well, dude. ^^

[@chemkcher]

gosh, your channel seems really underwatched, i wish you the best luck tryna feel better with yourself soon 😔🙏

[@SailorSmoke]

Glad you're getting help man Really hope things start getting a lot better for you

[@2kewl1231]

Wet dry world negative emotional aura is real, but fr stay strong this world is tough

[@kourtiss64]

Dont ever do that to tour self, we need you BigSoprano 😢

[@unstoppablestreletsy1624]

I was in the exact same spot you were approx 5 years ago mostly for anxiety and depression related reasons about being single. Was reported by someone else who I sent messages to which didn't make it feel as comforting (the person I was interested in afterall). Thankfully where I was they had a program where you could be seen by someone without going to a hospital and they determined I would be able to handle it on my own and gave me the needed contacts in case things went south. As soon as they brought up the possibility of medication I knew I had to better my situation as I knew all the serious side effects that came with probably the same pills you are on. Took about a day to get back to full functioning once again even though the depressive episode took place for approx 3 months. In many ways I just grew up quick and tried to make sure I would do what it took to have full control of my life and the future I want. Though after some failed online experiences relationship wise I came to the conclusion that I am better off focusing on my work goals both in programming and youtubing instead since pursueing dating for me only leads to painful outcomes for both parties involved.

[@Metalhed5]

Hey BigSoprano I don't know how much you know about Autism but I think you've mentioned in a few previous videos that you have the condition. A large component of Autism is obsession with people or things, and I think that it probably plays a role into how you are always obsessing over and reliving past memories. I am pretty sure I have autism myself and although I don't really have a good solution to your problems it made me feel better about mine knowing that there was some concrete explanation for my unhealthy behavior and that other people are in the same boat

[@BigSopranoPlays]

@@Metalhed5 I can confirm I have Autism, Aspergers to be exact. I appreciate the kind words

[@Deadshotgaming419]

Ocd is a pain i deal with it daily

[@vsauce7632]

remember if you're not alive you can't play mario anymore

[@SuperMarioMarioO]

Remember that GTA 6 releases in 2025 you will miss everything good

[@JAYZAWmusic]

I’m thankful this hit my feed. I’m praying for you man! Just like some of the other comments said, Jesus loves you so so much!! I’m so sorry that you’ve been facing these intrusive thoughts, I’m glad you’re getting help ❤ Things will get better, and I pray things turn around for you soon!

[@StenchFinger-e7j]

welcome to the club. get closer and closer each day. wouldnt do it cause im a pussy. Im this close to losing everything. No hope for my future. No girl for 9 years. Mentally scarred. Getting accused of a crime that hasnt been commited. Struggling in school. in crazy amount of debt. wasted my 20's. tried getting help, nobody cared enough to reply. its a job to them, and obviously theyre bad at their jobs. The list is endless. Hang in there. I'll stay strong if you do.

[@Gatodreamz]

Me too but xxxtentacion lowkey made it corny

[@CatacombsBC]

I've been considering it too. moreso trying to build up the courage to actually do it. I miss my kids and I'm selfish so I don't think I can spend the rest of my life only seeing them on a weekly basis

[@Really_Obama]

give me all your money

[@JadeiteMcSwag]

don't dude

[@FangAlt]

Okay but why do we also have to see mario go crazy while you talk about ending it all Regardless tho I wish you well

[@DaAstronauty]

Sorry to hear that,hope you feel better over the past days.