I Discovered My Husband Is a Convicted Felon

I Discovered My Husband Is a Convicted Felon
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[@tobyfitzpatrick565]

She needs to check the file. He said it was at a college party... but since he lied by omission once... she needs to check for herself. The registry will give her more details.

[@shirleyelling2761]

She can pull the court transcripts

[@ppumpkin3282]

She said she checked the court records

[@whyme7996]

@@ppumpkin3282 most people don't really "check the court records" they look at convicted or not...they don't read what actually happened.

[@rebeccaofpollywogflatts8976]

What his actual sentence is what was bargained for, not what he actually did. The sentence is LESS than what happened. Maybe he did far worse. I like the idea of pulling the court transcripts. Good luck on being able to protect the twin daughters from him. She can't just cut and run. I feel for her.

[@marycarricaburu3683]

@@rebeccaofpollywogflatts8976 Not only that she has a 13 year girl living there.

[@avi4875]

I'm discovering relationship anxieties I didn't even know I could have

[@JJ-ig9im]

This show will do that to you

[@kristaw2686]

He's gaslighting her. "I thought you knew..." BULL. Like they never would've had ANY conversations about it? In 5 years? Come on. He's full of it. He knew he was hiding it.

[@beautifulday7528]

Absolutely...got this same sentence from my ex on a different subject matter. Wish I had known about gaslighting and forms of lying before marriage. AND I should have done a background check. $600 20 years ago would have saved me years of grief and lots of money. Lesson learned.

[@kekejefferson9219]

Shift Blaming. Narcissist.

[@Shay4YourMind81]

Yes💯 This was EXACTLY what I was thinking. It is gaslighting, and he’s lowdown for doing this.

[@paulo7507]

he didnt say that, thats what John said not her husband

[@BboyRacing]

She does have the file. She says it at the beginning.

[@richard3921]

the husband totally tried to hide it.

[@hiddenprofits216]

She mentioned that they did background checks on each other I’m curious on why she didn’t see it? He’s completely wrong for hiding it btw. It also makes sense on why he might’ve not brought it back up saying that she should’ve saw it and dropped him on the spot

[@troyspears6470]

@@hiddenprofits216 she didnt say she did a background check. She said they made a joke about running background checks on each other

[@miketheyunggod2534]

LOL! He just got a fine dude. What's to tell?

[@susancuenin2137]

Probation only and had to register? Hmm. Doesn’t sound quite right.

[@araineacutebrownnurse7315]

“ He said he didn’t hide it he just didn’t tell me. “ 🤯😳🥴

[@Picca65]

He should have told her before marriage. Even whithout being asked.

[@icecreamcake1457]

Ikr 🤦‍♀️

[@JakeStewart1343]

I'm sure the "let's do a background check on each other" joke was an excuse not to disclose it in case she ever found out. 😂

[@projectdan3369]

It’s one of those. He’s not lying but also not telling the truth lol

[@JakeStewart1343]

@@projectdan3369 I had a potential business partner who always operated in that manner. He never lied but was rarely transparent. Unfortunately, he was a founder of a great small business, which became rose colored glasses for most potential and current prospects. My dignity was worth more than "koolaid," so I chose to exit. 👍

[@colleengarcia7752]

“I thought you knew” is still lying to her.

[@caseyporter499]

Yes lie of omission

[@Garebare1]

I mean not if he really thought she knew.

[@Skelly777able]

@@Garebare1 Even so, he never once brought it up, it's a big deal that you need to have a de-brief about over months.

[@purpleviolet207]

I can understand if someone is ashamed to talk about their past. But they should talk about it if they're in a serious relationship or planning, on getting married. There shouldn't be any secrets in relationships.

[@NT-bz5nh]

People are afraid that if they share the truth with their spouse/partner, their partner will break up with them. I truly believe that keeping something major a secret will lead to the break. They actual secret may not even be that bad but it’s the deceptive lying and hiding behavior that will kill any relationship.

[@donaldlyons17]

@@NT-bz5nh No some crimes are not serious but in his case his conviction makes doing normal stuff super difficult. He is on some type of list and he was hiding it for years it seems so he does not consider it something to talk about at all. Your quote: (People are afraid that if they share the truth with their spouse/partner, their partner will break up with them. I truly believe that keeping something major a secret will lead to the break. They actual secret may not even be that bad but it’s the deceptive lying and hiding behavior that will kill any relationship.)

[@DarthFurie]

Lying by omission, gaslighting, and most likely trickle truthing her. This poor lady. She and those innocent kids did nothing to deserve this

[@TimothyMcVay]

Maybe they do deserve it , never kno

[@teeduck]

Same thing happened to a buddy of mine in college. His gf in college was 17 and he was 18. When her parents found out they told her if they didn’t break up they would go to the police and file charges. He broke up fast. He avoided being a sex offender for life just like this guy. People need to be checking IDs in college.

[@AlyssaTaylor9]

... an 18 year old should be able to be with a 17 year old. No court would convict an 18 y/o for that kind of marginal age difference. Unless the parents were insane there must've been something else going on there.

[@kellharris2491]

@@AlyssaTaylor9 they probably didn't like him. Plus just the threat would be enough for most people.

[@nathansimpson5721]

I am 22 and my girlfriend of 5+ years is turning 21 in one month. When I was 18 there was a time when she was 16 and we were completely sexually active. We have been sexually active since I was 16 and she was 15. The situation you described SHOULD NOT be considered criminal.

[@clovemartin]

That isn't illegal anywhere.

[@rubthesleep]

​@@clovemartinpeople can be sex offenders for all kinds of reason and some are unfair. I don't like this discussion he had because I can see why he didn't tell her if it were something like he said. Or even sending a nude while underage is distribution of child porn and people are on a registry for it. I have a friend who's gf lied and got him arrested. I agree he needed to come clean but I can't imagine trying to explain that to someone

[@radolfkalis4041]

She needs to have a professional grade, FIB grade background check on him. He needs to be completely, brutally honest with her. They will need counseling, He is right...it will fester and poison them if ignored. Any more lies is a deal breaker and she should leave. I don't mean lying about liking a dress she is wearing when he hates it.

[@kisong1960]

FIB: Fictional law enforcement organization from GTA5

[@LLAMA-LLAMA]

Agreed. Even I’m wondering the circumstances and how the police would show up a week later. If she was a consenting person at a college party then I don’t see a reason for her to report it(parents or revenge?).

[@marycarricaburu3683]

@@LLAMA-LLAMA You don't know that is what actually happened

[@BlackStump172]

@@LLAMA-LLAMAProbably the parents , who could tell the daughter had played up . They would take a couple of days to talk and argue , off to a lawyer and then to police . Police would do an interview with parents and daughter , then off to arrest .

[@texasgina]

She needs to order the court documents

[@BboyRacing]

SHE DID. She said it in the beginning!

[@lynnebucher6537]

I would get a full background check on him. My now ex-boyfriend lied by omission several times. I found out he was an alcoholic, had a dui, a marijuana offense, and a permanent restraining order from his ex-wife. The restraining order is hard to find by yourself, they don't show up online in my state. You pretty much need to hire a private investigator type.

[@AlyssaTaylor9]

Absolutely. I was once with someone who lied by omission about his MARITAL STATUS. He'd only refer to her as his "ex" or "ex wife" and when I'd ask questions the answers would be something to the effect of "yeah married for 4 years, split up last year." A few months later when i discovered they were still married and confronted him for lying he said "Hey, I never actually said we were legally divorced, did I? So I never lied. She IS my ex, I'm with you now aren't I?" Not a surprise, but that was only the tip of the iceberg of issues this dude had lmao.

[@CaToRi-]

@@AlyssaTaylor9 what he answered you after you confronted him tells you he is a manipulative person that feels entitled to do what he thinks necessary to get what he wants. Lying by omission is manipulation

[@AlyssaTaylor9]

@CaToRi- Yep, entitled and manipulative were two excellent words to describe him lol. Just glad that's long over.

[@josephomole6404]

Okay so I'm definitely doing a background check before proposing.

[@ineedhoez]

Right? I guess that is where we are right now.

[@thermalreboot]

She also needs to pull the court records and verify the story.

[@rochelle-xz8gl]

If I were her child’s biological father, I would do a sex offender registry check. I would go pick up my kid and take this lady back to the family court and sue her for sole legal and physical custody of my kid!

[@delightschwartz2155]

This is an entirely possible scenario, her custody of the boy is at risk.. This lady needs to hire an attorney and check everything about the case and his records. He chose not to do things honorably before getting involved, so she will need to step up and make up the difference. Doesn't speak well about his character at all. Time will tell.

[@pigpjs]

Before couples counseling or in parallel she should seek individual counseling. This is a massive trust violation. She deserves to figure out what's best for her and her kids right now and how she wants to proceed.

[@marycarricaburu3683]

Especially since she has a 13 year daughter living there.

[@emeraldwaters8028]

Why wasn’t she encouraged to gather more documented information? Her husband’s lied so how do we know he’s not lying about the circumstances of his conviction? I don’t understand why her kids’ safety wasn’t mentioned. Disturbing.

[@danellison1555]

Even if this man is a great man and a good father which I’m sure he is he definitely should’ve told his wife before they got married and had children that’s a big deal

[@kristic4472]

"great men and good fathers" have also been serial killers.....

[@BboyRacing]

Okay and he didnt. What they gonna do about that now?

[@vanmamawannabe6360]

@@kristic4472 BTK is a good example.

[@djg4781]

100%

[@kiraivory1092]

Background check or no background check it is his responsibility to have let her know! Sounds like he is gaslighting by blaming her!

[@luminous6969]

Since we're all in agreement that he should've told her and that lying by omission is still lying, are we now gonna start holding people accountable for telling their potential partners about any STDs they have? We're gonna apply accountability across the board, right?

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

I mean, I'd be quicker to say yes to that than the crime question since it's more obvious it has immediate direct impact.

[@amde8554]

@@colmwhateveryoulike3240 a spouse being a registered offender for sure has impact to them. I just wonder why she never googled the guy before

[@colmwhateveryoulike3240]

@@amde8554 I guess it just has a variable effect so I don't disagree but I'd allow for circumstantial wriggle room. STDs are just straightforward need to know under every circumstance so I'd say yes immediately whereas I'd listen to details of criminal record and then most likely say yes. :p

[@ineedhoez]

I mean, I don't understand the question. We are already supposed to tell people about stds. You can be jailed or held civilly liable.

[@kellharris2491]

Um that's already obvious. In some places you can be arrested if you don't.

[@FloydofOz]

Dr. D. Brother. Let the caller ask the question before interjecting. It will make the show better…let them talk at first.

[@Martina..1]

She mentioned that they spoke about doing a background check on each other, if they did then she would have known. He was very wrong for not being transparent for 5 years. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Grigsy]

Not necessarily. Depends on the background check and sometimes they only show convictions for that state. So if they were convicted in x state but now lived in y state, it wouldn’t show up depending on the manufacturer of the background check.

[@donaldlyons17]

@@Grigsy You do realize that many parts of the world are like Canada where if you are suspected of a crime like his (not convicted) they will tract you for the rest of your life and make travel harder as a result!!!! If he were convicted how is it his history would not be open through the FBI? All you need is a police certificate and a clearance from each police dept for each place he ever lived. If he were foreign he would need a special wavier (that is not easy to get) just to get a green card!! Your quote: (Not necessarily. Depends on the background check and sometimes they only show convictions for that state. So if they were convicted in x state but now lived in y state, it wouldn’t show up depending on the manufacturer of the background check.)

[@mriphone1000]

Not necessarily, he may have had the record sealed. In this case she'd never know without a court order. But in his case I'm not sure what options are available and what aren't.

[@findingnory]

Registering as a sex offender is the opposite of sealing a record

[@kellharris2491]

@@donaldlyons17 no it's actually harder then you think. In part because different groups keep different databases. And they don't share well with others. A lot of information is backlogged. Especially if it's a decade or so ago since the original incident. There are also levels to background checks. It takes quit a bit of digging depending on what you are looking for sometimes. Public record stuff is easier if you know where to look but you may need to actually request for court documents. So if a person is just doing a standard scan you may not pick it up

[@catlady2795]

I think they should use the the opportunity to teach there son what can happen to you if you not careful at parties in college.

[@Guitarlvr01]

You know… when I was doing online dating, I kept a background check service for this reason. Call me crazy but I was a single mom and wasn’t about to even go on the first date if he had a criminal history.

[@grod805]

Thats a bit crazy tbh

[@samirlachi3544]

You crazy yes you are 🤮

[@theshunnedBandersnatch]

That sounds perfectly reasonable to me - not wanting to put yourself or your children in harm's way is commendable. People are nuts and extra caution is warranted. I don't have a service on retainer, but I do my due diligence before going on a date with *anyone.* So far so good👍🏾

[@Guitarlvr01]

@@grod805 why? I have no criminal history and expected to date and marry someone with the same background. It’s no different than being a Christian who wants to marry a Christian or debt free and wanting to marry debt free. Some of us have standards.

[@auroramothergoddess]

Single moms are the most vulnerable because these scums of the earth prey on them and their kids

[@NomadicLifer]

She needs to talk to her child's father and let him know her husband is a registered sex offender. I would be furious if my child was living with someone and I wasn't informed and included in discussions about how things are moving forward in relation to my son.

[@unravel2053]

If he's on the register did he not break it by being around the kids and not letting her know? 🤔 would he not have responsibility to do that?

[@pzh3334]

4:27 it's not always rape. As a 16yo girl who was in a 3 year relationship with a guy who was 18 when it began, parents blessing and all. Grew up as childhood friends. There are definitely instances where it is definitely not rape. The fact that he never left that piece of paper laying around once in 5 years tells me he's full of sh*t and there's more to the story than a promiscuous night in college.

[@graceg3250]

It depends on the jurisdiction what laws pertain and depends on the DA as to whether charges are filed.

[@AdversaryOne]

Yeah what John said was BS. "Rape is rape". If his story is true it sounds like he's the victim. He was set up by a lying kid. This could happen to anyone, especially at a college party.

[@jangrosemartindale8740]

Shame on his part

[@jones2277]

gentlemen, get to know the lady, have a relationship before bedding her. one-night stands are not worth the myriad risks.

[@EmpressMermaid]

Exactly. Drunken hookups with random strangers at parties or clubs has an extreme high risk of going bad in many ways.

[@KManwarren]

Dr. John was really solid and controlled on this. All I can think of is "Oh, crap."

[@kellharris2491]

The guy lied yes but honestly these kinda stories piss me off. If a person lies about her age and sleeps with someone I don't consider that rape. That's deception. He doesn't deserve to be labeled like this his whole life. The age of consent is also important. A hook up isn't the same as a relationship. If someone tries to have a relationship with someone he knows is much younger, that is sketch but if you go meet some stranger who lies about their age and hook up that's not the same thing at all. This was the parents punishing him for their daughters mistake.

[@jrn3342]

This is disturbing, she needs to get a hold of the court documents and check it out. She joked about getting a background check but didn’t even though she has a child from a previous relationship? I’m worried for her kids and any kids that have been around him.

[@colleengarcia7752]

She said she got the court documents.

[@austinpickens7611]

There’s actually no way you’re this dumb

[@beautifulday7528]

@@colleengarcia7752 Yes, but she still needs to do a thorough background check. Peace of mind in protecting the kids. Where there is smoke.....

[@Kingoftheworld500]

she sounds strong, she'll get through this

[@mariee.5912]

She sounds convinced he is telling the truth. I don't think so.

[@jc_80]

Amazing what people try to hide from people they marry

[@shirleyelling2761]

She needs to pull the court records. Digest this, and go from there.

[@paulo7507]

she has, didnt you listen ??????

[@BboyRacing]

She did.

[@lcm4951]

Saw the Avett Brothers album cover in the back there! Nice 🙂

[@bessiedalton891]

Great advice 👍🏽

[@SerErryk]

She needs to find out why he got a felony through official records. I highly doubt it was because he hooked up with a girl a couple years younger than him at a party.

[@mariee.5912]

BINGO!!!!

[@willak79bud90]

Not if he didn't do time.

[@donaldlyons17]

They can put people on those registries for taking certain items from others. All it takes is the wrong type of interaction.

[@ineedhoez]

Hooked up as in had sex with her while she was unconscious or something.

[@linjubar]

They make teenage boys sex offenders for having sex with their teenage girlfriends. Forty years ago, teenagers were having sex (not that I think it’s a good thing), but no one was prosecuted for it, or had a label placed on them for life.

[@tsakuyo]

Do people not talk to each other anymore? How can somebody "discover" after 5 years of marriage that their spouse is a convicted felon?

[@josephinenelan4204]

What happened to women and their friends being detectives about potential partners? This woman doesn't fit that at all lol.

[@TheSunshinefee]

do you think that his is something a man would tell? not everyone is forthcoming

[@tsakuyo]

@@TheSunshinefee I can understand that people don't share such things with co-workers or acquaintances, but a spouse?

[@Kinksgalore]

Desperate.

[@Picca65]

@@tsakuyo exactly! He should have voluntarily told this before marriage. Even if that's ffing hard.

[@P.Rack25]

What else is he hiding?

[@beautifulday7528]

Exactly. "I thought you knew" was only the beginning of what was uncovered in my marriage. Do a background check....now!

[@jtyree0226]

What is she hiding? I’m sure she’s a saint 🙄. She just didn’t get caught. Not to mention the double standards in this society

[@MsDorcelus]

Bingo!

[@rifleridge9560]

Bodies

[@marlowilliams4264]

Love dr John’s face at like 1:40 😂😂😂

[@boxelder9147]

Lol

[@alcyonae]

I recall in high school (Italy) one of my classmates got into a relationship at 14 with a 21 year old. When they broke up 2 years later she’d talk about all the ways he was scummy. Another girl at 15 had had 29-32 year old partners. She frequently attended rave parties and looked “mature for her age”. Their parents knew, they consummated into the girls’ houses. I was approached online by an alleged 29 year old at 15, and when he told me “what are you worried about, age doesn’t matter”, it freaked me out. Fortunately I blocked him and got rid of the app because it all felt wrong and yucky. Glad I didn’t get traumatized like I’m sure those other girls must have been. And kudos to the U.S. for having the awareness that having a period doesn’t mean having the mental maturity to engage into something as vulnerable as being intimate with someone.

[@philwill0123]

Err.... You would be surprised on the backwards thinking of age of consent/ age to get married laws ...

[@jill9606]

Lying by omission is lying.

[@imajhawk11]

He lied about being a registered sex offender. That’s it. I just don’t think it’s fair to be registered a sex offender if the other person lied about their age. It’s not right for this guy to be considered a bad person because he did something because of someone who lied.

[@zaynab2085]

Not telling you is hiding… I am concerned about your children and their well being.

[@jc_80]

Shame she’s not as worried

[@zaynab2085]

@@jc_80 ignorance/denial are not a bliss!

[@DarthFurie]

@@GUITARTIME2024 If his story is true his situation sucks BUT being a convicted felon AND on the registry is a *huge* deal! He should have told her

[@mariee.5912]

He is still hiding.

[@happyinparis]

Exactly. He could just as easily be lying about what really happened. I would not trust him with my children.

[@omiyinkaogunsegun5012]

She needs to check to find out the "real" circunstances surrounding this felony. Do not take his word for it. He did all that he could to hide it from her so why trust what he is saying now. Whether she stays with him or not, I could not do it.

[@jesussaves89]

While you are dating do background checks fully

[@lynnebucher6537]

Yeah I learned that the hard way.

[@toscadonna]

The fact that he didn’t tell her means he’s guilty and up to no good.

[@aarondavid5866]

guilty of what moron. he didnt do anything

[@DianeWilliamsCurvyGoddess]

I would not be able to get over this. I would leave him. Love is truly not enough to be in a marriage.

[@sarahamericathegreat8040]

I love that dr. John is drinking a topo Chico!

[@texasgina]

My favorite is the lime

[@bmaiceman]

I don't know what that is!!

[@BG-nm5xt]

You didn't ask how old was the girl! In states, you can check the online ex offender information and see what the actual charges were. Was she 15 or under? Can you get a hold of the court records? Do some checking in the state or county where it happened. You want to know the whole truth because he's not telling the whole story!

[@happyinparis]

I'd worry about him messing with my children. Seriously.

[@brightpage1020]

After college, before I was married, when I’d run into an old friend who had served time for drug offense, this was actually on my list of questions for 2-3rd dates: “Have you ever done time in jail, or convicted of a felony?” Asked in different forms, more polite, like, “What’s the worst crime you’be ever been caught for?” Leading to “what’s the worst crime you’ve ever done?” I didn’t want to go on a 3rd date with anyone who’s life might be on a certain trajectory or who’s success may be held back by their past. I wanted a family and to build a future with a man who could easily support one in a legitimate way. I was pretty sheltered so it had never occurred to me until then because I’d always known the families of boyfriends previous to dating them before that. But realizing somebody I’d gone to school with had been through that… as an adult… just made me realize that being a grown up doesn’t always mean we always make decisions based on our own long term best interests. Single ladies, put this on your 2nd date questions list. It’s too forward for a 1st date… and would feel imposing and presumptuous, but don’t go on a 3rd date with a guy who hasn’t answered this with a clear “no” if someday supporting a family with him might be important to you.

[@yanagaidaichuk4025]

I live in Oregon but... why are all the crazy calls from Portland? LOLLLL

[@FlappyBelly]

My wife wants a divorce because she is sad or bored...and this woman wants to stay married even though her husband is a sex offender. Wow, did I pick wrong.

[@redcomic619]

Dr. John and I have the same Van’s hoodie

[@WallFlower08]

I don’t know about this one. What do you mean the police came knocking on his door a week later?? There’s more to the story… If it was consensual the cops wouldn’t just show up at the door. The girl must had drank and gotten drunk tbh and you know the rest…

[@joseichoshow9846]

John delony nice freddy Krueger sweater. I love Chrismas

[@projectdan3369]

Dr Delony having the Freddy Kruger colors

[@catgodfrey6451]

Um I'm out.

[@gdaymates431]

Aren't sex offenders not allowed to be around kids?

[@philwill0123]

No, which is the disturbing element. At least with the twin girls, there should have been a social worker, and especially in a home with a teenager of any sex. I'm guessing he "forgot" to tell the authorities.

[@dentond4913]

Sounds kinda fishy

[@anneshirley9560]

I think so too. If it really wasn’t a big deal, then why hide it?

[@MsDorcelus]

It’s all the way fishy. He’s been keeping this a secret from her for five years! She should look up the police report & whatever other legal documents are available to get an idea of what actually occurred. I’m not buying his story.

[@userofkrk2199]

Is his crime name, “Heisenberg”? Then Hank, we have a problem.

[@katelady1370]

Nothing good ever comes out of Portland

[@beckykazeks6827]

RUN!!!

[@brookemoore8369]

Dr D. I don’t know if you read these comments, but you touched on her having to tell her son before he finds out for himself. My son’s dad is plastered all over the news and internet as a sex offender. I am worried about this very thing. How do I go about telling him the truth before someone else does? He’s only 7. What age is this appropriate?

[@xsgtxbigboy1655]

Reminds me of my ex when she used to tell me “I never lied to you about cheating on you I just never told you the truth “ thought I was the only one who ever heard that

[@swim610]

He's gaslighting her

[@DarthFurie]

Yeah... he's a total POS

[@mariee.5912]

@@MicheleNichols2 she only has the yearly citation notification.

[@taylorkroff8254]

I don't blame the husband for sleeping with the girl he didn't know was a minor. They were - after all - at a college party, where you can assume that everyone there is a college student. What are you gonna do - ask to see the driver's license of a girl before you sleep with her? And it seems the judge agrees with me, which is why the husband didn't serve any jail time. However, I absolutely blame him for his dishonesty. He should have disclosed what happened to his wife before they got married. No excuses! And the whole "Well, you never asked, so I never told you" is bullcrap! He knows he should have told her about it.

[@van2165]

It is absolutely not that hard to ask someone how old they are and confirm it blame the adult not the child in this situation

[@taylorkroff8254]

@@van2165 I didn't blame the child. I would never blame the child in such a situation. I'm just saying it was a misunderstanding.

[@van2165]

@@taylorkroff8254 no it is not a misunderstanding, it is easily prevented, and to not blame the adult is to blame the child.

[@taylorkroff8254]

@@van2165 Okay. You have a right to your opinion

[@guyrose2350]

@@van2165 when I was 15-17 my friends and I would go out, now I was not hugely promiscuous but some of my friends were sleeping with men in their late 20s. We were in bars drinking, the legal age to drink is 18 where I am, and many of us had fake IDs not wanting to be caught these men assumed we were 18 because that’s the only way we could get in and that’s what we’d say if people asked! I never got ID’d at 16 years old I could get drinks just about everywhere no questions asked, I looked like I was in my mid 20s, in fact now that I am mid 20s I think I look younger now than I did then, and many young girls do look a hell of a lot older than they actually are. Makeup/clothing + being in an adult space is enough reason to believe someone is an adult, it’s not the kids fault theyre a child who’s going to make mistakes, but (if the case is 100% a college party mistake) it’s also not his fault to make the assumption. As someone who has been assaulted in my life and raped, although this kind of thing is regretful when you look back and think how gross it is, it is not intentional rape unless the girl had stated her age clearly to him.

[@hansonallie]

Am I the only one who wonders how many seasons there are in Dr. D’s calendar year? 😉 (I love the guy, don’t get me wrong - just amused by the “word of the moment”)

[@ejbatu]

I think so...

[@hansonallie]

@@ejbatu - Lol, I’m good w/ that! 😹

[@sherryd3299]

I didn't lie to you, I just didn't tell you about and she buys this bs. Often plea deals are made in court where he pleads guilty to a lesser crime so his record might not even show what really happened. It's possible that it might have been much worse. Hoping it wasnt.

[@linjubar]

If she was at a party, she probably looked older than her age. Some sex offenders are not a threat to society, and wouldn’t think of rap/ng someone. Let’s make a difference between some evil pedophile, or rap/st, and a young man at a party (and probably under the influence of alcohol). It could happen to anyone. This sounds like a case of the girl feeling guilty about what she’d done, then pressing charges. It doesn’t mean he’s a threat to children, and I hate child sex abusers.

[@beng4647]

Absolutely why she needs to know. He is probably lying.

[@tryingtothrive157]

Yeah... not telling is lying. Actively choosing NOT to tell is lying. A lie not yet discovered. The sin of ommission is a sleeping beast they hope you never uncover BUT plan to nonchalantly admit if cornered.

[@tenshi.kurama]

Why I don’t drink/smoke anything.

[@hellosunshine5]

??

[@teeduck]

Not even water?

[@boxelder9147]

Great decision

[@beckykazeks6827]

Uf he thought she knew then why was he getting the mail and hiding it from her? Such b.s. Eff that. RUN.

[@hillarybillary21]

“I thought you knew” tells me he’s a sociopath. “I thought you knew” is what you say when you pick up milk and your wife stops at the store too and you end up with yep gallons because you thought the other person “knew”. She wants to be married lord then she wants to know who he is. He found the perfect woman for him. Shame on her for not even questioning leaving him with baby girls in the house. So over desperate weak women I could puke

[@kathyjones6908]

Seek couples counseling! Rebuild trust and PROTECT your children ☺️☺️

[@sanfranciscodamn]

I guarantee you she won’t be able to get over that

[@rossfriedman6570]

"If they're going through a lot of effort to hide it, they know what they're doing isn't okay" Dr Phil

[@thebrain678]

If she knew wouldn't she have brought it up

[@richthepup]

Y'all do not need to be having conversations with y'all kids about it. This is grown up business, he messed up and lied but they should still operate as partners imo.

[@cloudedcolour5329]

actually you do since if the kids at school google him and see it, the parents do, the teachers do, he's gonna find out its better from them

[@richthepup]

@@cloudedcolour5329 listen… Unless your parent was on the news or got an onlyfans I don’t think they’ll need to worry about that 🥴🤣

[@cloudedcolour5329]

@@richthepup actually nope, all they have to do is look on insta, see a connecting tag and get nosy

[@jtyree0226]

@@cloudedcolour5329 not everyone uses garbage social media

[@cloudedcolour5329]

@@jtyree0226 teenagers do though and unfortunately they gossip, alot

[@Jen-CelticWarrior]

When people get “caught,” usually it’s not the first time it’s happened.

[@nickbk4418]

This is exactly why there needs to be discretion with these types of cases. This is a perfect example of something that should NOT follow someone forever, if this case is truly how it appears. It ruins your life forever and in cases like this it is just truly not fair.

[@CaToRi-]

Her kid from another relationship is 13 but she have been with him for 15 years?? 🤔

[@andrewbrendan1579]

Well, there's a husband who's never to be trusted again.

[@jesussaves89]

Can you do public background checks?

[@texasgina]

Yes on “been verified”

[@leighb8485]

Even if his story is true and even if he thought she knew… He still is a father to children who will now be known as “the grapist’s kids” It won’t matter if he’s a predator or not…procreating as a SO is selfish AF.

[@icecreamcake1457]

STOP GIVING MOTHERS AN OUT! HOW can a mother NOT PERFORM a simple S offender registry check and criminal background check PRIOR to allowing a man close proximity to their child(ren)? I guarantee she has researched at least ONE of his ex girlfriends. 🤦‍♀️ Yes, her husband is a LIAR by OMISSION. WHY didn’t he disclose his criminal past during their early dating stage?

[@Angela-ne9cy]

I don't understand this. So many single moms out there bringing random guys home - not to mention MARRYING them - with zero idea of their backgrounds. It's shocking to me that women don't protect themselves and their children more than this.

[@justine.hubbard]

Not everyone knows that this information is public knowledge. Not everyone knows the resources to go to. I'm still learning of new websites to look this info up. Plus if you Google background checks, the first websites that pop up are all those ones that make you wait forever while they "gather" information, then they ask you for a fee. That can be discouraging yo individuals who don't know what resources to go to. On top of this all, people from a lower socio economic class have a different level of normal when it comes to criminal history. The fact that you are watching a professional work through these topics on KZbin, mean you actively look for enlightenment when it comes to social issues as this. Not everyone cares to sit down and watch these videos. Some people would rather be out living their life, participating in activities away from their phone. This learning knowledge about our society through personal interactions with people. It's not giving mother's an out. It understanding social norms, informing others and looking out for members of our society when we have concerns for them. The caller never mentioned any of her friends or family suggesting a background check. So how common is it amongst her social circle, other than a joke?

[@ineedhoez]

I honestly can't imagine looking into someone's background like this

[@MaxSujyReact]

If that story is true I dont know what the big deal is? Not talking about the legality of it, obv its illegal as it should be, im talking about the repercussion on the relation.

[@lilithowl]

The men's behaviour that some of the women who call this show put up with / accept / rationalise / minimise absolutely BLOWS MY MIND. Whyyyyyyy A man that would do something like that and hide it from you? In the bin.

[@amendaalmonte2236]

That’s unforgivable

[@dane2322]

Nobody just forgets bout that..

[@AH-up8zh]

0:41 🤣

[@grafando]

Why are there so many dislikes on this video?

[@otsam1050]

I think John's approach might not be the best tbh. He definitely should have told her, though it made sense why he'll omit it, surprised she also didn't see it on the background check. But if the issue wasn't with kids, peadophile, I believe in people redeeming themselves. For her not to even suspect for 5 yrs could mean he'd changed.

[@burlinherron]

He dident lie just thought she knew

[@donaldlyons17]

He could have made sure she knew like telling her he was with an underage girl because I think a lot of women know they can be young and yet grown looking. I don't know him but telling her more than once or at the beginning is usually how I like to make sure someone "knows" something!!! Your quote: (He dident lie just thought she knew)

[@sanfranciscodamn]

I can’t even bear to watch this whole video. She needs to get out he lied by omission.

[@ziahreid9269]

Sounds like he hid it on purpose. She needs to make sure he's not still lying about what happened. On another note, if his story is true, that's not even close to being equivalent to a violent sexual assault. Statutory is still bad, but let's not get stupid here.

[@junehope5152]

I would never trust him with my kids and would question every privous moment with my kids

[@hurshrd654]

If that is the truth of what happened that isn’t horrible. Bur to not talk about it is wrong. She needs to get the court records. It’s not tape if she consented.

[@nicolab2075]

If you're underage you can't consent. That's the point.

[@deuteriumjones]

This guy is wishing he spent the year in jail rather than being registered 15 year later, hokey smokes. Yeah it’s a crime but at *some* point you’ve paid your debt to society and you aren’t even the same person anymore.

[@cloudedcolour5329]

even with jail you'd still have to be rgistered dep on the situation

[@auroramothergoddess]

If you’re an adult you should know better too bad too sad

[@elizabetha8565]

Well whatever you do don't look up recidivism rate. And working in the system you will not find someone on the registry that was early 20's with a 16 or 17yr old, Chance are the child was UNDER 14 to have to register.

[@jtyree0226]

@@auroramothergoddess only thing sad is the double standard in this society

[@kellijasper5912]

@@elizabetha8565 was that the case 15 years ago? If he served no jail time and received probation I’m thinking she may have been within that 16-17 range

[@tommym8292]

I don't know the caller's husband's complete story & I'd find out...was it the girl passed out and was raped, did he forcefully rape her...he did NO jail time, so that's VERY telling...but I have a friend who was 19 and he slept with a girl that was 17, almost 18 and he now has to register as a sex offender, b/c her parents found out and was the ones that pressed charges...that's fucked up...