I don’t have energy to do anything. Listen to this. You are NOT ok!

[@user-ww9xm5nd2q]

I started feeling unwell as a child. I don't think I was ever 100%. I experienced a lot of fatigue, depression, very severe anxiety. Never got any help. Got punished. Go into freeze mode from anxiety and fear, get punished for not being responsive enough. Complain about fatigue and headaches and get punished for being difficult and just trying to get out of things, (like going to the shops with so much noise and so many bright lights that are completely overwhelming). Have trouble learning and concentrating at school because of anxiety and fatigue, get punished for being lazy. I learnt from a very young age that how I feel doesn't matter and I just need to shut up and do as I am told or I will get punished. Have also always been told that I'm too sensitive, not tough enough. When I reached adulthood I basically just collapsed, there was nothing left in me to push forward anymore. Everything expended trying to survive and avoid punishment. Health collapsed, severe fatigue, joint pain, muscle pain, severe digestive issues. Still struggle with the feeling that I'm an awful, lazy person that just makes life hard for other people and doesn't deserve to feel good. Have the fear that no matter how hard I try I will never be enough, will always disappoint people. You mentioned putting yourself first. I am too sick to really have any choice, I have to put myself first, but it feels so bad, feels so selfish.

[@sjla2009]

Oh wow, same! I wholeheartedly agree. It's so hard to make even the smallest step toward recovery when all your life you've been abused and / or neglected. As well as feeling overwhelmed and over sensitive from the start. I've been called weak and a crybaby by everyone around me all my life. It's hard to tell yourself a different narrative and convince yourself that, no I *am* worthy of self care and living a healthy life..

[@HealthRecovery]

So many people will relate to this. It’s terrible being gas lighted your whole life when trying to get across how you feel. I can relate myself. No one took me seriously and the professionals mocked me. The choice to be selfish is a necessary step to getting the pendulum back to where it needs to be

[@sjla2009]

@@HealthRecovery most definitely 💪

[@beezd8001]

After 6 years I have finally stoped giving a fuck about what people think or say. It does not phase me in the slightest, I just do me. LIFE IS JUST TOO SHORT PEOPLE

[@sjla2009]

Yes 💪 Same. I'll live independently now or I'll die trying. I'm past caring.

[@jirihutecka9020]

I learned that trying to explain what is going on with me to other people is just waste of energy and time.

[@Anita-silver]

So so true. What is it you say if pressed?

[@saph14400]

Chronic illness entails getting gaslit by everyone around you, that's just how it is. I was speaking to my mom about how I feel sick after eating poorly and have symptoms coming back. She said it's just my mindset, being too negative. If you be positive, you can eat whatever you want and not be sick apparently. 😀

[@HealthRecovery]

It’s crazy how many people are like this. My mum raised me with the mindset food is for pleasure only it doesn’t matter what you eat 🤦‍♂️

[@sjla2009]

Omg same. My mum's quote was always "any calorie is good for you if you're starving" 🤯

[@Anita-silver]

"I know what it is to feel good...please do not tell me how I'm feeling" 👍

[@paralex4262]

I had to rearrange my whole life to ME/CFS. Isolated myself from a lot of friends because it was just too draining to take phone calls and no one will literally understand anyway. This is the best decision I ever made in my entire life because I now feel so much more at peace even if it's lonely, but the little extra energy and peace you get will override the feeling of loneliness. Same thing with work, I rearranged to work from home and part time with my own business, tasks adjusted for my mind and body. You are very true with what you are saying, enviorment, clients, people etc. We are not dillusional, cause I have seen the shift in my emotions when I switched out my enviroment. Everything is not to be fixed inside with "self healing", that's also a kind of gaslighting that just digs you deeper in the hole. Well yeah self healing in moderation but not to be blaming everything on yourself

[@TheRoarWithin]

I honestly don’t have any hope of getting better at this point. Society keeps me sick. I have to devote the majority of my life to working and I have no work aspirations, so have wound up in a dead end mind-numbing insurance job. I dread every working day because it’s so tedious and I find it hard being sat still around people all day long. Then I’m so mentally and emotionally drained, I don’t have the energy to enjoy my actual interests or catch up on exercise once work is done. 5 days a week is too much. I don’t know how anyone can feel comfortable selling their souls like this. I’m just so done with this.

[@HealthRecovery]

Few points for your Stefan: 1) you have to make every spare hour count in your well being. For example, if you get home from work at 5 still be in bed and having a good sleep routine regardless of whether or not you just want to unwind with entertainment. Once you start getting the good sleep you will have more energy to be more efficient. 2) I can completely understand where you are coming from because I work full time and it isn’t what I want for my life. I’ve found once I get in the mindset of feeling trapped it’s effects my well being. We have to understand it isn’t helping us. See yourself as just at a train station at this point in your life, at some point you will be getting on a train and moving on. Focus on feeling better for now and changes will follow. 3) listen to your first comment, you are in a low place. You feel depressed. Yet your family mock you? Isn’t that disgusting.. and many people here will relate. You need your boundaries being put up and putting yourself first. You shouldn’t have to put up with that - that’s exactly the kind of interactions that keep us in this low state. If you confide in them and they still roll their eyes then honestly a wide birth is in order. 4) as unhelpful as society is, telling yourself it’s making you sick takes all the power away from you which in turn creates a powerlessness inside of you. This isn’t helping. Think about it from a different angle, imagine working the mills 100 years ago.. maybe apply for some kind of a job that doesn’t have that office environment ?

[@TheRoarWithin]

Well said mate. So many people have made me think I’m just imagining being unbelievably exhausted. Certain family members make a joke of it, as if I just need a nap. Or they roll their eyes that I’m still going on about how bad I feel (when they ask, or when it’s too hard to pretend otherwise). My sister thinks I have no right to be tired as she has two young children and I have none.

[@jirihutecka9020]

Yeah it is better to just not saying anything to them and if they ask how I feel. I would just say "good" or "fine" or "ok" so I don't have to explain myself and if they start with asking why I am so lazy or inactive or whatever I just brush it off. Because once you start to get emotional and you start to trying to explain your shitty situation it will NEVER end well. People who never experienced chronic fatigue will simply never understand. It is like explaining someone who is blind from birth how each color looks like... Impossible..

[@sjla2009]

I've systematically dropped everyone in my life one by one over 10 years now because I can't stand everybody's lack of empathy and compassion. And let me tell you, I've been a people pleaser all my life with everyone constantly so it's not like I didn't care for them before I got ill. It's hard coping completely alone but a tiny bit more preferable to constant belittling and disparaging comments and frowns from those who are supposed to love me and actually care. I'm so done.

[@sjla2009]

My sister said: do u think your tiredness is any different to anyone else's?? Omg 🤯 Really.... 🙄 It's an *illness* It's not just oh didn't get much sleep last night and now I'm tired. Or my kid was ill last few days so I'm tired now. This is alarming, completely debilitating symptoms of illness that happen after a tiny amount of physical and / or mental exertion. Oh you just have to push yourself, they say. Push through it. Yeah....right.... 🙄 It's just a virus says the doctor, give it time. ...10 years later... 😭

[@user-ww9xm5nd2q]

Some years ago I decided to see a psychologist. I had hoped that a professionally trained person might understand. He basically said the same thing. Push through, just do stuff, exercise. When I told him that's not helping, he asked if I really want to get well, as if I'm just too lazy to try hard enough. Another one said that suffering makes you stronger. Haven't been able to get much help from doctors either.

[@sjla2009]

@@user-ww9xm5nd2q ikwym, professionals mostly just don't understand. Unless, they get CFS themselves. This whole thing I've been through since 2013 would not have been half as bad if it was recognised and accepted like, for example, MS or Arthritis or whatever else. Still debilitating and torturous but at least we wouldn't be socially ridiculed and shunned. If only a gp could give the advice this guy does. It would be a different world.

[@paralex4262]

LOT'S OF LOVE AND COMPASSION TO ALL OF YOU! May you all find peace, rest, strength and nurturing

[@SmileG333]

I agree, I actually found out I have mold illness, it has given me full blown MCAS

[@sjla2009]

My problems started when living trapped in a mouldy home. I know it was a factor ✔ ✅ 😞

[@karagumruk7330]

Everybody is sick. Just think about it. Everybody. The only people I know who are well are professional atletes. And they can be atletes cause they were not sick in the first place.

[@charlottebest1122]

James i really value your videos, ive been poorly 2 years now. I have had some improvement but i just feel stuck between rock an hard place, ive got more energy but im not lifting off if that makes sense... Any advice? Im not house bond now, but im still getting symptoms. Appreciate your time, your doing great job!! 😊

[@HealthRecovery]

Hey Charlotte I’ll make a video for you 👍

[@charlottebest1122]

@@HealthRecovery Thank you so much

[@HealthRecovery]

@@charlottebest1122 it’s up 👍

[@affropowerforreal8501]

After a few years of feeling 70% healthy again. I crashed because of anxiety disorder. What should I do?

[@HealthRecovery]

Be kind to tourself first and foremost. What are you anxious about ?

[@affropowerforreal8501]

I'm anxious about so many things. Most of has to do with the feeling of feeling alone. I know I'm not but my my heart is telling me it. Even it's not true.

[@HealthRecovery]

@@affropowerforreal8501 id first try to understand what is causing you so much dis-ease. If we spend so much time in anxiety it erodes us

[@charlieb9144]

I'm considering trying brain retraining for my M.E it's meant to help the nervous and immune system to calm down so the body can start healing. It's not because of a conscious thought loop. Has anyone tried this? I'm thinking of trying the DNRS programme.

[@Badboyifier]

James, if I ever go to the UK, are you planning on a group meetup sometime? :D

[@HealthRecovery]

Never thought about it 😆 maybe it’s something to consider. Probably when I don’t have a normal full time job!

[@Badboyifier]

@@HealthRecovery would be cool, or maybe on the weekends when you got some extra time to kill haha