I Don't Spank, How to be Firm AND Kind | Gentle Parenting Techniques

[@kaylafergusson6446]

I get so frustrated with people who do spank. They believe tradition is over science.

[@renagalache1083]

Spanking is bad, period. You can't justify it. Even if you "turn just fine" it's not a good method. It's difficult to raise a child but say it as it is, spanking is abuse

[@SuperDuckyWho]

This... it doesn't teach consequences, it teaches fear and retaliation. It teaches if someone makes me angry or doesn't listen it's okay to hit them instead of using words or other social/trust related consequences. Parents are supposed to be the first example of how to behave and react to things.

[@indigogray1644]

Thank youuuuu, I didn’t have parents so I love videos like this.

[@oneghost1257]

I feel like the humiliation thing should be considered constantly even in a non punishmwnt context. Like, One thing I can't stand are those videos parents take of their kid who's all whacked out on painkillers from oral surgery. I mean its fine if they make it clear they had permission, better if the kid said "Hey i want you to record me in case i say something I'll think is funny." But the number of those videos where the kid being recorded tries to indicate that they don't wanr ro be is really irritating. Thankfully, my mom knew that and felt the same way about parents using their kids for content creation, so she stressed repeatedly lesding up to my wisdom teeth appointment that she wouldn't record me or ever even bring up anything I might have said again. Ended up not being necessary though since I remember the whole thing and didn't actually talk at all.

[@greghacker4555]

I agree 100%

[@abandonedchanneld8031]

Can you be my mom please. I'm 20 and I've been telling my mom since I was 8-9 that this is the kind of discipline I respond best too. Instead she continues to this day, to lecture and hit me if she doesn't like what I do, which ends up triggering a disassociation switch...So then I don't even remember half of what happened by the end of it. :/ But she tells me she doesn't respect me, and I don't deserve respect because I'm her child, and she'll give it 'when she wants too.'

[@OhJoliexox]

Wow, this is just heartbreaking. You don't deserve this treatment and I have so many friends with really toxic mothers and I see how much it affects every part of your life. You are 20 now, and you can't change what has already happened but you can set your boundaries to be healthier for you. You'll likely never get over needing the approval of your parent, it's just how we're made, but if she's not willing to be respectful and loving to you, it's better that she's at an arm's distance even though she's your mom. You got this, and I'm here if you need more support.

[@abandonedchanneld8031]

[@LITTLEMUSTANGFILLY]

You are way too old for your mom to be hitting you. (Not that any age is a good age) but that’s nuts. I see this is an older comment. I hope you are in a better situation

[@abandonedchanneld8031]

@@LITTLEMUSTANGFILLY I am, I'm in college now with a steady relationship and she's in therapy so our relationship has been improving because she's been seeing how she was acting was wrong. Things are looking up!

[@TaniaHernandez-lr8el]

It has so many rules. I think it is restricting in some ways.

[@jeanniemaycrawford4466]

Some of the most obnoxious and uncouth kids are raised this way

[@Moszan]

Thanks for the anecdotal evidence. Guess what: spanked children also act the same way you describe.

[@Chaotic_Observer]

i dont mean to be that person, but i was spanked as a kid, and honestly i came out just fine. now, obviously not everyone is the same, but it worked great for me.

[@mariaathena7910]

just give it time

[@Chaotic_Observer]

@@mariaathena7910 wym?

[@2012Beckster]

@@Chaotic_Observer I was hit every day "so I learned my lessons" but, funny enough, they didn't hit the dogs because "that would be mean." Don't hit anybody. Period. And especially don't hit your kids - you may find yourself childless-by-estrangement.

[@Chaotic_Observer]

@@2012Beckster oh, im NEVER spanking my own kids or dogs in the future if i get married and have kids. It ain’ gonna be me

[@jeanniemaycrawford4466]

​@@2012Becksteractions have consequences and if your kids don't respect you, you'll be treated like a door mat