I Found Out My Boyfriend Has A "We'll Get Together At 30" Pact With His Best Friend r/Relationships

[@MalkavianGhoul]

That is exactly what the "friend" wanted. She wanted Op's boyfriend and now she has him

[@pansprayers]

And they deserve each other. Let him play house with his second string. OP deserves better

[@TsukiKageTora]

He will probably not choose to go through with the pact as those old pacts don’t usually stick. Then she will show her true colors about how she breaks off his relationships so they could be together, and now he doesn’t want to go through the pact. He will realize how OP was right and how she was right for him but he let her go because of psycho friend.

[@Tijggie82]

@@TsukiKageTora yup, thinking the same.

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@Tijggie82 here’s to hoping that’s the outcome 🤞

[@fluidwolf]

Does she? The boyfriend didn't seem to give any indication he wanted to be anymore than a friend with her and those pacts generally aren't kept to.

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

I 100% think this dude is going to find out at 30 that his BFF is totally serious or someone around them will come forward and let him know that his ex was worried for good reason. No idea if the OP will ever know, but at least she's young and can restart over with someone else.

[@keplersdream901]

The dude thought he could fuck both women. THAT was his plan. OP called him on it, and he ran away. Believe me, she'll find someone else, and he'll still be a cheat with or on the friend.

[@보모]

or bf bff were in it together and the bf used it as an excuse to project on his gf leading to _seeing the light_ thus making himself single to mingle with bff openly without strings

[@jedimasters1462]

@@보모 That seems a bit overboard as he had just spent 5 years with op. Also, it was obvious that the relationship was over the moment op gave the ultimatum. If op had left it alone, there wouldn't have been a breakup.

[@보모]

@@jedimasters1462 With OP feeling as though her boundaries are violated she should have taken it upon herself to put a pin in the relationship NOT hand the decision over to her BF whom is at the center. To me it essentially makes no sense to ask the apathetic person I feel disrespected by when you could just pause the relationship yourself. The friend was out of bounds and seemingly not called to the carpet for her actions

[@kristinicole2055]

@@jedimasters1462 not too overboard, had something similar happen and it turned out they’d been having relations behind my back for a while

[@zachf748]

Story #2 - OP's dad gave them $300 *_SPECIFICALLY_* to go out and bond… Forcing someone to go out only to just watch as step-mom and step-daughter spent $300 and couldn’t give you a measly $5 drink is absolutely despicable. Not only did they not bond, their relationship just got _worse_ than it already was. That mom is absolutely sickening. It would have been better to just let her stay home…

[@Azulakayes]

Story 1: I know that 'placeholder' is very pleased. She brought up the pact knowing very well no woman would ever want to hear that about her SO. OP's ex has just been manipulated into breaking up so that this 'placeholder' can slide in. They both got played. I hope OP gets over this and meets a wonderful man who has no time for such silliness.

[@aikikaname6508]

Exactly, but she kind of had no choice but to play into this. Bf refused to see the problem, and you cannot have any checked woman in the wings (whom your boyfriend actually fancies) waiting for the relationship to hit a tough patch to move in and pls confidant and ‘cool girl’

[@bautistalover]

He wasn’t the one manipulated OP was. She nuked her own relationship after her ex made it clear she was his future.

[@nelsondoyle1377]

I think the gf overreacted and ruined a healthy relationship. It's purely her speculation that bf had some feelings for the friend, that was never confirmed by bf. I think the friends comment, while out of line, is a totally platonic "stick up for your friend" thing to say to dig at gf for overreacting. To drive this point home, instead of sitting with friend and bf and asking her what she meant with that comment, and establish what the truth is, she went off and made an emotional decision about the future of her relationship. I know everyone wants a villain in every story, but these are real people, not characters, and we are only getting op's biased af version of events.

[@clownrat5759]

@@nelsondoyle1377 I don’t know if you’re dense or something, but the “let’s get married by thirty pact” is not something most people make as a joke. And it’s not something people actively bring up around someone’s girlfriend. That’s just not normal. She obviously has some kind of feelings for OP’s ex, and he refused to see that, and kept hanging around and enabling.

[@bollocks42o]

you dont make a pact with somebody that youll spend your life together unless you think you can stomach sleeping with them for that time lmao

[@AndyyWithAY]

Story 2 your dad gave her $300 and she wouldn't even buy you a Starbucks!! Then wouldn't even give you a cake pop because you didn't deserve it. That's $100 a person. I'd break up with my gf immediately over this.

[@MaryTheresa1986]

Same here. The girlfriend and her daughter suck.

[@Erinia13]

I hope her father get rid of girlfriend she's awful, she might also be a gold-digger. Regardless, someone that mistreated your kid using your own money and you aren't even married it's not a good fit. This is an opportunity to dodge a bullet.

[@groofromtheup5719]

I'd get my $300 back first.

[@RomeGod177]

Same if thats was me. I would have blown up ab drop my gf

[@kaitohkid7229]

Dad gave stuff back and separated from this Trainwreck.

[@artemishallihan8973]

Story 2 - dad's GF is Disney step mother evil: buying two cake pops for one daughter when they're two kids in the car feels purposely vindictive

[@atinyevil1383]

Makes you feel like GF is going to lock OP in the attic and make her clean up after her and her entitled daughter.

[@tippytoe1250]

If I ran out of money I would have just got the girls drinks and snack and skip buying for myself before a skip a child.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Sounds like the dad got a glimpse of how the distribution of wealth would go with GF making decisions.

[@musicallydisneyamvs6731]

Story 1.) Who else can’t wait to see a Reddit post about a 30yr old man, being held up for marriage over a childhood promise/joke? 🤣🤣🤣

[@zerobolt9506]

I'm waiting with popcorn 🍿 Edit: I love your pfp

[@musicallydisneyamvs6731]

@@zerobolt9506 Thanks 😊

[@MaryTheresa1986]

😂😂😂😂

[@carolroberts4614]

I'm on tenterhooks for that one!

[@ScooterBond1970]

Personally I hope he cuts ties with both of them. BFF was snooty and out of line, but OP sounds jealous and insecure. I mean, OP treats BF and BFF's "affair" as a fait accompli, even with zero evidence. (Tragically, BFF's comment only served to add fuel to that fire.) Then all the comments saying break up with someone who issues and ultimatum? SHE issued the ultimatum, and he followed Reddit's advice. And yes I'll say it: if it had been the other way around, he'd get called out as controlling and toxic.

[@Write662]

Story 3) Ba-by Run! Jack’s BIL stood up for her, but her fiancé didn’t. I hope she handed that ring back in the same conversation they had when Jack got home. He showed her exactly who he was by his actions and told her who he was by defending his mother’s actions! I cheered when she said she canceled her ticket and went home. That's right mama, defend your cubs!

[@aleshiatorres475]

Last story: I personally would have been gone by the time fiancée got back home. I would have known where he stood when he went on the trip anyway.

[@Draggonny]

I can't get over that he said his mother is "entitled to have feelings" but it's clear he thinks OP isn't. He expected her to suck it up, slap on a fake smile and have a lovely little jaunt with a woman who lied to her.

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

Yup. Fiancee showed that OP would come in 3rd in a two person race. It won't get better if she marries him.

[@joeschmo622]

I mentioned this elsewhere, but back when I was a little kid, my grandmother gave my older cousin a quarter (which would buy an assload of candy) to split with me. We went to the corner store, he "did his shopping" loaded up on 23c of goodies, and the 2c left over wouldn't even buy me a Charleston Chew. Yeah, I still remember what I *wanted* to get. The lady took pity on me and let me have it anyway, 'cause she saw who he was and what he was doing. Sad thing is, he didn't change as he grew up. Oh, have I got stories...

[@carolroberts4614]

The unfairness of some things never goes away does it? I'm 68 and I can remember things like that from when I was quite small!

[@sophies9274]

you left this comment 4 months ago but i just wanted to commend the shop lady for being an absolute beaut to your small self. on a separate note, i hope your cousin eventually had his comeuppance :)

[@lucky23730]

The worst kind of people.

[@katwitanruna]

I’m sorry, as a mom, two kids and only money for two drinks and treats means *I* don’t get anything, NOT a child!!!

[@tippytoe1250]

When my kids are hanging out with their friends and I buy my kid a snack I make sure to get snacks for the friends also.

[@dianadionne3857]

That's when I would have gone to s different, cheaper place to get 3 drinks and some snacks

[@MydieLy]

Did y'all miss the fact that the mother spent the $300 on clothes and makeup for her daughter *first* and that was why there was no money left to get OP anything at Starbucks? Going to a cheaper place wasn't the issue here

[@katwitanruna]

@@MydieLy Nope! That woman is a narcissistic B.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Imagine being a girlfriend of a guy who asked if his daughter could go out with you and your own daughter and boyfriend gave money for it but you chose to spend it all on yourself and your daughter and nothing on his. Telling her she didn’t deserve it… Who thinks that is ok? Hope boyfriend breaks up with her since she doesn’t respect him or his daughter and only with him for money as it seems with the oozing entitlement from her and her daughter

[@ajb7530]

The gf would have gotten her walking papers (Dumped).

[@kriztlepyre8951]

thats some evil stepmother vibes

[@fytrndm]

I'm a lot more concerned over the fact the father didn't just break up with the woman. No, there's no excuse for how she treated OP at all. It doesn't matter if this was the first time, this set the tone if he stays with that woman. She can do this crap, fight a little and then just apologise. It won't mean jack if he keeps at this and would eventually drive everyone away considering how the woman spoiled her child.

[@akl2k7]

Yeah, why isn't she trying to get on her bf's good side through his daughter? I know, there are some stepparents out there who treat their stepkids too well to the detriment of their bio-children, but there's a balance she could have had. Since the occasion was to celebrate her daughter's accomplishments, she could have done so while spending, say, $100 on OP. But no, everything had to go to her daughter.

[@TailsFan]

@@fytrndm He might be wanting to make sure that OP is safely away from her with her mom, before he does that, because GF would absolutely take it out on OP somehow.

[@mariabarker2036]

Story 2. I wonder what the gf thought would happen when the 17 yo got home to her father????? I personally would be expecting all hell to break loose over my head if I spent all $300 of HIS money entirely on MY daughter, right in front of HIS daughter.... What was she smoking????

[@pattsdannys6316]

The dad in story two is a real MVP here, (most valuable parent). He recognized the wrong that had been done, and made sure to make it up to op. Solid.

[@slytherinlibrarian3501]

The family in story 3 is just one, rotten, family tree. SIL got _angry at BIL_ when he put the pieces together and revealed that FMIL lied. Jack likely knew and tried to help hide it until it was too late. FMIL did the lying. Jack's assertion that she would 'love them once they're married' played out in another AITA once upon a time. MIL asked for family photos to make an album and OP and hubby gave pictures of the whole family at different ages, including OP's kids, hubby's steps. MIL passed the completed album around a family gathering and _made sure_ that OP, hubby, and the kids saw. The kids had no grandkids page. None of their family photos were included. OP walked out and was called a drama queen and hubby insisted that it was wrong but OP should have been nicer about it.

[@SailorMya]

WOW! He is lucky she stayed for as long as she did with how OP and her daughters were treated... What a spiteful, beast of a women to do these things to OP and little KIDS!

[@roseappiah2985]

@@SailorMya Slyterin is saying that that's how it would play out IF op in story 3 DOES choose to marry Jack.

[@Jen321able]

@@roseappiah2985 no that was actually a different story they were referring to.

[@charondusk5608]

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, as they say. Jack's BS excuse is some magical reasoning - Getting married will suddenly make FMIL love her daughters? As if. No, what would end up happening is OP and Jack have a kid and THAT kid is the one that suddenly gets all the love from FMIL and Jack, turning it into a spoiled Golden Child, whilst the two daughters continue to be ignored and excluded.

[@paulinadeboer3604]

My hubby and i got together when i was a single mum of to Kids. His parents never excluded my Kids. We are 3 holidays further they got the same amouth money for present with birthdays and christmas. I am sure enough to say my youngest is grandpa's favorite and my oldest grandma's. Just because they have the same hobby's. They learned this because they choose not to exclude my daughters. Marrying this man is not wise then they get children and her daughters wil always get treated different then the Kids they have to get. And that will give resentment from her daughters in the long run.

[@oooiluvpancakesooo7781]

In the first story, I would love to know a bit about the bffs love life. Does she date anyone? Does she just do casual hookups? Does she seem to neglect her romantic life altogether? I ask because if she isnt "shopping around" I think u could pretty easily assume that shes holding out for him. If she is or was seriously dating anyone then maybe she was just being a jerk. Not saying thats ok, but it would put some things into perspective.

[@AndyyWithAY]

No hopefully-not-future MIL ruined everything. Had MIL not lied OP wouldn't have gone on the trip and would've just let them have it. Everyone is mad because they realize how horrible she is

[@Davtwan]

Sadly, hopefully-ex-fiancé is still attached to her mom by the umbilical cord. If she was planning to get single moms away from her son, then she’s likely to succeed.

[@JuanRodriguez-tf7fh]

Marry him then divorce to collect that doctor money 👨‍⚕️ 💰

[@hothead2463]

I'm amazed that the FIL hasn't divorce mil with how badly she lies.

[@groofromtheup5719]

The fiancée is far worse than the FMIL. He claimed that he wanted to be the kid's step dad. FMIL never made any promises to her or them.

[@ilbercgross4736]

OP might have gone on the trip had Ex future MIL told the truth. I think ex future husband was late because he already knew and was hoping that by being late OP would just go on the trip. He does not want to upset "mommy" and "mommy" will always come first.

[@dm9078]

My female friend had such a pact with another friend. It meant nothing to either of their SO’s. Because it meant nothing. But it means something to her. That line kind of proves it. Excellent question Mark! A parent actually prioritizing his original family over the new family! And NTA OP! NTA! Tell Jack goodbye. OP is not a single mom she is a widowed mother. OP should never have agreed to this trip at all! At least BiL is a stand-up guy! Again, tell him goodbye right freaking now!

[@amberaseltine3012]

Why havent the BIL havent told,her to run yet. He has a pretty good handdle of,him self and his relationship with the family (Maybe) but if he sees this he should tell her to run.

[@jessical4866]

Story 1: Female friend has means and motive to ruin their relationship, and all she's lacking is the opportunity to commit the crime. If OP's boyfriend can't see that and do something about it, nothing will change and anyone he dates will be on tenterhooks that this friend will sabotage them as well. I would tell the boyfriend "And if you DO end up with her at age 30, you should remember that I fucking told you so". Story 2: If you don't have money, don't go to Starbucks? Don't get cakepops there??? Those are so overpriced, and there are equally delicious options that don't cost as much. The girlfriend is way too eager to splurge on things, and way too quick to claim she's broke. Make up your mind if you can afford these things or not.

[@PlutoHasAHeart]

Regarding the cake pop story…. The cake pops are mentioned as plural, there were multiple of them so no reason at all for op not to have one regardless if the gf ran out of money or not, if that’s what op wanted. Though, op initially asked for a drink, but still, with the price of cake pops at Starbucks, gf could have certainly afforded a third drink instead. Not only that, but it wouldn’t have taken all that much more out of her own pocket if she had finished off the $300 and still wanted to get the cake pops and a third drink. She didn’t run out of money, she just didn’t want to include op on her happy little mother-daughter shopping spree.

[@anikanele7958]

What confuses me most about story 3: OP said the FMIL has a problem with single Moms. That alone is so wild. OP didnt choose to be a single mom for fun. Her first husband died! What was she supposed to do? resurrect him? unbirth her children?

[@doodleydoo169]

No she clearly was supposed to put them up for adoption the day after the funeral. It’s the only logical way. And on second thought, I didn’t hear anything about a FFIL, so is she a single mom then too? If so better get rid of both her kids asap!

[@traetrae11]

@@doodleydoo169 This is what I was thinking. Where is FFIL and how does she hate single mothers when it seems like she is one? The only decent person in this family is BIL. Now that he’s seeing how his in laws act towards others I want to know how that relationship is going. I can’t imagine the family isn’t giving him crap for calling them out on their BS.

[@BraveryWing26]

She needs to break up with Enabler Momma's Boy and tell her to eff off.

[@BraveryWing26]

@@doodleydoo169 OP mentioned his Mom AND DAD.

[@SwirlyPinwheel]

"His mom has a bit of a harsh view on single moms." Um, what? Even in the toxic lala land of no divorce ever, marriage is forever, how dare you have kids out of wedlock, etc. what was OP supposed to do? Oh. I don't have my man anymore. Guess I'll just, idk, dig up his grave and, ta-dah! No longer a single mom??? Look kids, daddy's back! 🤦

[@clownrat5759]

“Look kids daddy’s back!” Well Fuck, that’s grim 😭

[@juliebiggerbear7300]

When I read story 2 on Reddit, I was really hoping that you would cover this one, and really hoping that there would be an update because there wasn’t at the time that I read it. I am over the moon that OP has such a good dad. I was worried that she wasn’t gonna be seeing anything good out of that situation. He is doing dadding right.

[@leegraves8878]

He isn't yet that gf and her daughter need to hit the bricks.

[@frith.calluna]

(S3) Don't you just love it when people blame the victim for "ruining the vacation" when they only refused to take someone else's disrespect? OP said Jack loves her girls so much and maybe he's good with them at home, but this shows you exactly where his priorities are at. Don't involve your daughters in a family like that, OP. They will always be treated differently and unfairly from the looks of it.

[@bdhesse]

I need an update to that last story. I have 2 girls and I would...not react well if anyone tried to exclude them like that. That's not a family I would want to bring my girls into. That's not how family should treat each other.

[@Gumbier_Than]

I expect nothing less from a dope mama. 😊

[@DFullerLisa]

Story 1: what people don't see in this is that SHE put in the pact first and SHE made the insensitive comment. She is going to ruin any relationship he gets into.

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: NTA OP didn't twist shit. OP did NOTHING wrong and dad's girlfriend was being a massive jerk. She was really rude to leave OP out like that. Edit after comments: dad is a BAMF

[@joaolima7131]

Wth is BAMF?

[@carolroberts4614]

I'm glad you asked that! I want to know too!

[@floraposteschild4184]

@@joaolima7131 Badass (something you probably can't type here, but it's meant to be positive). 😀

[@SonicdaShapeshifter]

It's a BADASS MOTHERFU--

[@carolroberts4614]

Oh!

[@cathybaldry7822]

Story 1. 5 years together and he has not proposed. That friend needed to be disposed of a long time ago. He needs to wake up

[@jeannieanonie7932]

Story 1, I want another update. If the ex and his BGF aren’t together I would be surprised. Story 2, that should be dads ex GF. Story 3, Jack should be your ex. I agree he did that on purpose.

[@aftertonightjazz]

Story 1.- After 5 whole years!!! OP a was his actual backup plan the whole time. Best friend was always the main plan. He wasted OPs time on purpose.

[@nelsontorres6855]

In story 1 I think ops bf dodged a bullet. I always thought op was in the wrong for making something little that didn't matter into something big where she wants him to end his friendship. That's crazy enough but I was like yeah the friend made that comment and that wasn't right until the update and it says she made that comment in the very 1st conversation about their deal. Like who gets all crazy like that in front of his friends and acts so jealous. I would have said the same thing.

[@stuffyouotterlistento1461]

Yeah. OP is crazy for her reaction and conceited for thinking she can demand that her boyfriend drop his friend.

[@ladyoblivious]

Story 1, man I'd love to hear an update where he and his friend turn 30 and she asks him to hold up his side of the deal with her. The shocked look on his face when he realizes she was serious and his gf of 5 years had picked up on it. That would be amazing~👌

[@zerobolt9506]

Yea, some people here are getting that for some reason, they act like it was just fun and games, but from the little info we got you could tell the friend was 100% serious.

[@carolroberts4614]

Yes, that wasn't fun and games. She knew what she was doing. Start off small, and then escalate when it gets nearer to the deadline.

[@romonaelrod7870]

The 2nd and 3rd stories had me steamed up for the OP's, they got treated so badly. I am glad that the dad in the 2nd story is looking out for his kid. The mom in the last story did the right thing by walking out on them. Now she needs to dump the boyfriend and his family.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#3 - OP was not wrong to leave. It was glaringly obvious that MIL orchestrated this shitshow and Jack and his sis were well aware of what was going on, as is evidenced by OP and Jack arriving so late, and his sis yelling at her hubby. Screw them and the horses they rode in on. Seems like only BIL is a decent person in all this. OP is well rid of that hot mess of a family and deserves so much more for herself and her girls. Hey, maybe BIL will divorce Jack's sis... lol

[@nicholaslai2596]

Story 1: As someone who had the same pact in place with a friend I still on the fence about the friend's seriousness. What interested me was the OP's writing seemed to omit a few things she might have done. Based on the friend and BF's reaction I get the feeling that OP kept bringing it up in a very negative way which escalated the situation. Then when she gave the ultimatum, which you never should, the BF finally had enough and said what he said. Another thing that stood out was OP's parents reaction. One of them told her this was her own fault. This is all speculation but the way OP wrote really felt like she was trying to cover herself and seek online approval more than anything.

[@gustavedore1073]

I had excatly same feeling. I might slip something similar as bff did in similar situations, and wouldn't really mean it. This clearly bothered OP and she was looking for excuse for her feeling.

[@anikanele7958]

I also dont understand why everyone is saying that that comment proves she has feelings for him. If I had a pact like that I would totally make the same joke just because the situation is so ridiculous. And also because "you should really consider..." implies that she knows that he isnt really considering it right now. Also: OP said she knew from the beginning that they could imagine being in a relationship with each other and for 5 years it hasnt bothered her but somehow having a pact for when they are single does???

[@TheGrimland]

OP is so insecure and controlling she ruined her relationship over someones comment. Her BF did nothing wrong. If roles were reversed people would say guy is controlling and overreacted. I don't get why so many people enable her in the comments

[@DaniS398]

lol you must be the BF🙄

[@bollocks42o]

OP is gonna be so satisfied when those two are already married at 29. Nobody should have the threat of somebody in the wings readily available to take your SO.

[@yatzy7510]

Story 1: Oh God... the ex has no idea about his friends ulterior motives. The way that OP tells us makes it obvious that the feiend wants them to get married. Any person without for example autistic disorders or a severe case of naivety, be able to see that this is the goal for the female friend. OP shouldn't have need to doubt the friend... the fact that OP's boyfriend doesn't see this might be an unconscious sign that he doesn't mind. There might be no reconciliation for this kind of overstep of trust

[@ajzephyros7454]

Or maybe he's on the spectrum, if we're being generous

[@Musiyca]

@@ajzephyros7454 that would mean half of men are on spectrum since they do be dense on reading the signs.

[@carolroberts4614]

Mine is completely oblivious to the signs that ladies are showing an interest, and he's in his seventies! (They are all over sixty where we live)They don't care that he has a partner either! Shameless!

[@nelsontorres6855]

No I think u are completely wrong. If her comment was made after op found out, like days later, then maybe but it seemed like a joke since op started acting crazy after finding out something that doesn't even matter. It was the same conversation and I think that makes a huge difference

[@groofromtheup5719]

BFF wanted her back-up plan unencumbered. The fact that BF went that insane suggests to me that they were already cheating.

[@eberddaamilcar2603]

Story 1, if I was in the bf’s situation I kind of would of done the same as him. I understand being upset at the joke, but giving an ultimatum in that situation definitely isn’t right and all of what he seemed to have said makes sense

[@johnodotca]

If we can't find literally anyone else by this arbitrary date, I guess you'll do. So romantic.

[@heatheraucoin5832]

Story 1- they made a pact that by 30 if they are not married or seeing anybody then they would date and see. They are 28 and BFF is seeing a possible future with OPs bf slipping away, so she threw that tidbit and rattle OP. TBH, giving the ultimatum is a blessing bc OP didn’t want to waste anymore time with a guy that see his BFF as a placeholder. He was a coward for not making a decision, saying she would make the decision to split. OP knows her worth, once the BFF was established as a possible interest, OP didn’t want to feel, “I’m killing time” relationship. If BF loved her, after the BFF said that comment, he would have said something like, That was a long time ago besides I see my future with OP. Line in the sand drawn

[@dagnytheartist]

Story 1: NTA. I was expecting to say YTA, but the boyfriend and girl best friend's behavior made me think OP was in the right. If the pact was really just a joke, OP's fiancé should have acknowledged her feelings and made it clear that it was a joke, not to defend himself but to make it clear that he cares about his fiancé. He let his friend make jokes at OP's expense, and he shushed her (which can easily be read as him trying to keep the pact a secret in the first place). But if he really did just forget about the pact until his best friend brought it up again, I think he should have done more to be considerate to OP. His actions made me suspicious that he wanted to be able to have the pact in place *and* get married to OP, which would be a massive red flag. What is more important to him: this stupid joke, or his fiancé? If he wanted to preserve the friendship, he should have done more to make it clear that there was nothing to worry about. Fiancé was uncomfortable because the pact was still "on." Then he was too cowardly to break up with her, instead opting to leave to Florida for a week (????) and then come back and say "no, I want you to be the bad guy and break up with ME." I do get the impression that OP may have overreacted initially, but the boyfriend sounds scummy in general. Story 2: NTA! That sounds like a horrible outing, and poor OP didn't get a choice in anything. Being a child of divorce can freaking suck. That being said, his girlfriend is allowed to treat her daughter to a nice outing without bringing her boyfriend's child, but it was on her to tell boyfriend "Sorry, no, this is just for me and my daughter." She wouldn't have been the asshole if she had kindly rejected inviting OP (and the $300) from the start. The girlfriend was being greedy and awful, using OP to get the money and spend it all on her daughter. Hope you never have to be put in this situation again OP.

[@pourpeopledrinks]

story 2 has me WEEPING this poor child omg. but holy shit A+ points to dad BOSSING in this situation. i hope he uses the week or of GF being in a hotel to totally seprate his life from hers, yikes.

[@hirohiroarikawa6806]

“ me and my kids are a package deal, you don’t want them you don’t want me”. That’s the appropriate response mil in the last story

[@Loaves_of_Cat]

In story 3, I hope sil’s *husband* runs for the hills

[@tonibully4090]

Story 3: Everyone, but OP and BIL know about the lie. Your fiancé, don't adore your daughter, he just put up with them. It's not like OP chose to be a single parent, her husband passed away. This was all planed by the family, because FIL didn't say anything also. You can tell that the MIL runs the family. I bet the fiancé was waiting for the day that the girls would go off the college, so they can't come back. It's too bad that BIL and SIL have kids, BIL and OP would be a better match. BIL is the one who really care about her girls. I don't think OP will marry her ex fiancé.

[@ErisstheGoddessofmanhwas]

First story:The problem was not the promise but the way his "friend " was talking. It's obvious that she jealous of their relationship and wants him because she is alone (forever). And the boyfriend is too dumb to see that .

[@AndyyWithAY]

After the update I just can't help but thinking OP let the other woman win. This is exactly what she wanted.

[@musicallydisneyamvs6731]

Perhaps, for the first couple months but OP will find someone she deserves. Whilst OP’s ex bf will eventually realize he screwed up when he is 30 & his friend is holding him up on their so called joke/promise.

[@cloudstalker8956]

he was no prize, he was trash you don't stay with trash to just don't lose.

[@DemonicGoddess]

dude fled to florida for a week and avoided her. says more of him then anything.

[@toastykitty1448]

@@musicallydisneyamvs6731 Def this. Wish we could see that future post XD ‘Reddit! I’ve F#%k up and lost the love of my life!!! How do I get her back???’ T-T’ XD

[@pansprayers]

He lied by omission and can try to go to the Big Leagues with his third string choice. This didn't work out for Julia Roberts, either. Perhaps they should have actually watched the movie to the end.

[@faeriefire78]

OP "springing her kids" on the FMIL would be if it really was an adult only trip and she brought them anyway, not this. FMIL could easily have avoided all this turmoil if she would've used her words rather than being a shady liar. The BF sucks too, but at least she got a taste of what he's really like before she married him. Also, what kind of AH looks down on a widow because she's technically a single mother now?! It's not like she has 25 baby daddies ffs, the woman lost her husband. Would she feel the same if her own daughter was widowed? What a classy woman. Definitely classIST for sure.

[@theechick]

My grandbaby just said hey that the waffle man🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@photofreak56]

Story 2 makes me so sad. I don't have kids and neither does my partner but we do babysit for his family sometime if things come up. If we were out at a coffee shop or fast food place and I just had enough for them to get happy meals but nothing for myself fuck yea I would be giving up my meal so that they each got something. If their parents had given me 300 to take them out for the day god knows I would have given each 150 to go nuts with. They aren't even my kids and I know that if your give money to take them out then that money goes to each kid.

[@deborahyoung1873]

I'm glad that girls dad stood up for her.

[@owl7072]

Story 1: "If you're willing to break up with me over this-" over what? You doing nothing other than shushing your "friend" who was being disrespectful by basically saying you should dump Op and go out with her instead because of how "crazy" Op's acting over something _she,_ the friend, brought up? My guy it sounds like she was trying to get you two to break up so she can have you at 30 and, so far, has gotten exactly what she wanted. How many other relationships has he had? Was she involved in the break up somehow? These are questions he's gotta ask himself cause it seems to me like she's willing to sabotage everything so she's his only option and once 30 comes around, he'll _have_ to settle with her cause she chased everyone else away with pitchforks and torches 🤔

[@Kimberly_Sparkles]

Totally what it sounds like to me.

[@Miless93]

Yea but ultimatums are never a healthy way to handle things. Also why is she so worried about a pact that says if they’re both SINGLE they’ll try to date. It’s not like he’s saying that he’s waiting for 30 to break up with her to date his friend, she’s caught up on something so stupid he’s obviously going to date people if he’s single. The friend however was for sure out of line, but op majorly overreacted to something pretty minuscule and insignificant then gave an ultimatum instead of trying to compromise like an adult. I hope she doesn’t take that behavior into future relationships.

[@zerobolt9506]

You should say this to the comments of the others who are siding with the ex bf and friend, they're saying that's he's better off with the friend or that you should never give an ultimatum

[@zerobolt9506]

@@Miless93 there are very few and very rare times where one is needed. Edit: OK so your saying you'd be ok if your SO has a friend that disrespect you and wants to get into their pants and thinks your there just for them to kill time before getting with them? Cause that's how the friend was acting.

[@Miless93]

@@zerobolt9506 And this was not one of them, unless it’s health related etc. ultimatums are extremely unhealthy, if this is how op deals with issues in her relationships then she’s in for a rude awakening when people don’t put up with it. The ex bf was right, instead of communicating and coming to a compromise she decided that an ultimatum between her and a friend for over a decade, who didn’t do anything THAT egregious to warrant such a reaction, was the best course of action. Her feelings on the matter were reasonable, her reaction and ultimatum were not.

[@notoriousd.i.g.87]

Story 1: I feel like the determination depends on what OP meant by "end things" with the friend. Did she mean that they end the pact or was she full sail saying they can't see each other anymore? The former is reasonable, the latter less so and providing a better justification for the friend's comments and the boyfriend's belief she is being unreasonable.

[@ynmonroe]

Absolutely this. I personally think she was making a mountain out of a molehill. Like she felt betrayed.

[@RurouniHiro]

From the context of the ex’s wigging out, I understood it as the later. Basically her slamming that self destruction button hard, fast, and mashing it.

[@jedimasters1462]

@@RurouniHiro yep

[@Jamlf]

It also depends if the BFF was in love with the BF. If the BF is to dense to realize this than he is going to have a ton of failed relationships because of this.

[@grumpypants2066]

@@Jamlf yet for 5 years it was successful until that tidbit came up

[@Resilient_Sage88]

That last story was irritating. Like if you date someone with children, you know it's a package deal. Intentionally excluding them and lying about it is dump worthy in my opinion and I don't even have kids!

[@j_hi]

Begging like a backup bish for ten years is gold 😂😂😂

[@emmawatkins2844]

How about Jack tells the girls why they weren’t actually allowed to go on the trip? Make him see the absolute fucking heartbreak from the girls that he fucking helped orchestrate this whole thing

[@qnkendra1523]

Jack had them arriving late... to keep her from being in a walk-away position when she found out the truth. they all were lying. goodness forbid if you have kids together your current kids will always be second class citizens in that family.

[@ajwinberg]

First Story: I had a deal like this with my gay bestie, but it was never super serious since I am a straight woman. Lol. I am sure that the boyfriend also probably never took it serious. The O.P. should be worried though because I think that the best friend of the boy friend really is serious. If she really wanted to be with him, she should have said something back when she made the deal, and she should have said something instead if making the deal.

[@Jamlf]

I think that is what commentors are missing. It's one thing if they made a pact and neither party had feelings for each other. But it's something different when one of them does have feelings. This could have been solved if the BF had put boundaries in place. Even still if the BFF never stop showing her feelings than the BF has to stop being friends. Because his BFF will ruin all future relationships.

[@kingturtle24k81]

@@Jamlf see where op messed up at is giving that ultimatum in the first place doing that to anyone never works out im your favor and op should have known that hopefully in her next relationship she will how to better communicate her feelings without going over board. Just my thought on this

[@mishratheforsaken]

I am very curious as to what prompted the friend to make the inflammatory comment. Like the way the first post reads, i get a feeling that it was less "out of nowhere" and more a reaction comment to the GF clearly applying pressure on the BF to break off his 10 year friendship, over the GF's insecurity. The way it is talked about, is sound more like a "hey remember when we were kids and did/said/agreed to do that silly/stupid thing" (both people laugh at the absurdity of it). Only to have GF latch onto it and blow the whole thing WAYYYY out of proportions. Like sure the comment wasn't great. But i know i'd be super snarky/rude if my friend's S/O was trying to destroy our friendship over something that happened/was said long before me/friend even knew they existed.

[@Jamlf]

@@mishratheforsaken It's because the OP wasn't very clear when she wrote this. I can't remember where they were at. But the BFF brings it up with the BF in front of the OP. They had a good laugh. The OP must of gotten jealous(not in the story) and the BFF than makes a comment about it and tells the BF to leave the OP for basically her. Which would justify the OP's jealousy. The BF silences her with a glance. This situation is messed up on all sides. With a decent amount of information missing. A simple sentence or two could have gotten them through this situation but the OP's insecurity and the BF's in ability to understand his GF's feelings destroyed their relationship.

[@Jamlf]

@@kingturtle24k81 I agree to a point. She needs to work on herself and get more confidence. While the ultimatum is bad this in itself wouldn't have destroyed their relationship if they could have sat down and both listen and express they feelings about what happened. Hell, if the BF listened to his GF and tried to explain in a better manner, this situation wouldn't have gotten to the point of no return.

[@MizTameRumors]

Story 3 why is MIL entitled to her feelings, but OP isn't entitled to hers? If she didn't want the kids there, she should have told OP that...Mother caused the problem and ruined the trip, not OP. Jack knew she lied too so he doesn't ' adore' any of them.

[@judithhansford4629]

Story 3: I wouldn't go no contact. I would run from this toxic family! You are NTA and his defense of his mother's deplorable behavior mirrors his own.

[@tsynadum-ay4792]

Story 1: shouldn't let him choose, just leave.. the nasty best friend still won

[@CarinaCoffee]

Story 3: yeah, that would be my ex-fiancé if he didn't stand up to his mum and left with me. OP is NTA at all!

[@gcarr1089]

Story 1 - If I was OP when he turns 30 I would send him an email saying has your friend tried to get you to keep to your agreement, bet she has. Then block him. Then when his friend does try it on he will see what a fool he was and that OP was right about her and he was a fool to let OP go.

[@kimanireid6111]

No he dodged a bullet by not staying with her , he would have turned 30 and they would have still been together but because her insecurities they broke up and so what if he dates his friend later on

[@kimanireid6111]

No he dodged a bullet by not staying with her , he would have turned 30 and they would have still been together but because her insecurities they broke up and so what if he dates his friend later on

[@kimanireid6111]

Why the f**k does it matter if he dates his friend she's the one who broke up with even though he told he wasn't into his friend like that

[@kimberlyplatt2382]

The first thing a cheater says is don't worry, they are just a friend. Before cheating on them with the said friend.

[@beautybard]

The problem isn't the "get together at 30" deal... My bff and I had the same agreement (except at 40). It was mostly a joke, but we did discuss the benefits of taxes. That's not uncommon. The issue is the "already kinda have feelings" part. If they didn't feel that way, I'd say she's overreacting. ETA: He's now happily married and I'm engaged to the woman I've been with for almost 5 years. So the deals off, lol.

[@viv8871]

Normally I hate ultimatums. Usually I say that if someone asks me to choose between them and someone else, it won't be them asking. This is one of those few times that I understand it, solely for bfs friends comment. She's serious about it and biding her time. Bf may or may not be, but that's not the issue. I think OP has a reason to be nervous about this, and I understand her ultimatum.

[@DaniS398]

I waited for the update and was rewarded. I knew the friend brought up the marriage pact because, 2 years from 30 and BF is in a long 5 year stable relationship. She gambled and won. What's funny is it doesn't sound like BF is really interested in his friend romantically otherwise he would have done something already. Especially because EVERYONE knows being best friends with your SO is the best since romance waxes and wanes. I hope the ex wakes up because if he doesn't cut that tumor out of his life she will blow up all his relationships.

[@NemFX]

Story one: Why was the OPs mom angry at her? Story two: The OPs father had a kid with someone else. That's why the step mom hates her. OP is physical proof that she can be replaced, as he replaced OPs mom. Story three: Break up. He chose his mom over your kids. That tells you all you need to know about his priorities in this relationship.

[@stuffyouotterlistento1461]

I assume that OP's mother was angry at her for being completely unreasonable and sabotaging her relationship over nothing.

[@Ospyro3em]

Funny enough I saw a story on another channel that was very similar to Story 1. It was from the girl's point of view where she was asking if she was the AH for getting annoyed with her friend for not holding up his side of the promise, and he just laughed and said he thought the promise was just a joke and couldn't believe she thought it was a serious pact. She was deemed to be the AH. I don't think it was related to OP in Story 1, but it's scary to think more than 1 set of people have made this silly pact.

[@보모]

Oh yeah there are movies articles social discussions around people arranging a marriage for themselves with a countdown in the event of being unwed by a time as means to avoid being a spinster or procreating without additional legal/romantic fuss It’s almost up there with the best friends to lovers trope

[@kimberlyplatt2382]

It could have been her.

[@artreyes2267]

Honestly I have to agree with the ex boyfriend, yes there was this pact but if he's choosing the op instead of the best friend why is there an issue? The op WAS going to be with her but she messed up with this argument

[@anahkit]

He shouldn't have had to only shush his bff if he was indeed choosing OP. He never told her about the pact and didn't even ask the friend to apologise, I'd leave too.

[@artreyes2267]

@@anahkit then you'd lose too, the facts are this: 1. He did not tell her because it was NOT important anymore since he was with her. 2. If she had been calm about the subject she would not have the ultimatum, no man likes a woman who does that 3. The BFF WAS in the wrong in saying those things, but the ex boyfriend did right in shushing her, we both know he didn't want that out there because he KNEW that she would have made the deal into a bomb. Should he made his BFF apologize, yes he should have, but from there the op would have had the idea that she could do the same thing again or get away with something in the future still FEELING that she was wronged

[@anahkit]

@@artreyes2267 It might not be important for him but it's important for significant others to know. OP herself said she doesn't have a problem with the pact itself. If she knew in the beginning it'd be fine. The problem is the bff and the fact they have feelings for each other. Hence why they made the pact in the first place. They just didn't want to "destroy their friendship" but it's obvious from the comment she wants to be with him, only shushing her just makes it very suspicious. Especially now that it's SUDDENLY mentioned when he's close to 30.

[@artreyes2267]

@@anahkit let's keep it 100, we both know she DID have an issue with the pact, what worsened the issue was the BFF. In fact I will admit that the situation was caused by the BFF, but again, she WAS the girlfriend, she WAS going to marry the ex boyfriend. Key word is WAS

[@anahkit]

​@@artreyes2267 We can't say that for sure she was gonna marry, but the BF would have still had his GF if he was 100% honest in the beginning, from the sounds of it.

[@itazuranakisu]

Either the now ex will end up in a toxic relationship with the friend or the friend will look even more pathetic when 30 hits and he laughs her off. She sounds pathetic and the ex doesn’t sound like a man worth putting your life on hold for. But seeing how desperate and disrespectful the friend is she likely has a string of relationships she torpedoed especially where the ex was a concern for the boyfriends.

[@Musiyca]

Yeah, doesn't look like the bff is dating. Otherwise, why would she be so hang up on ex? But ex is blind to that cause he only sees her as a friend. Again, bff was the one who brought that up and then "jokes" about OP acting crazy, she for sure counts on it to the point of not dating herself and just being the volture around ex.

[@SailorMya]

Wonder if it will click then that his "friend" has been pushing his ex(s) away for her own goal. I doubt this is the only time she has put strain on his relationships if she is this dedicated to the pact. Sounds super creepy and I hope he sees it as such when he is 30...

[@groofromtheup5719]

It was a well aimed torpedo and I suspect they were already sleeping together.

[@mishratheforsaken]

@@SailorMya i think you are giving OP was to much credit, and being way to hard on the BFF. Remember that OP and her ex were together for 5 years before this came up, and for all intents and purposes it sounds like BFF was nothing but supportive. Or at least i find it very odd that OP didn't bother to bring up any other times that BFF had been trying to push her out, again DURING THEIR 5 YEAR RELATIONSHIP.

[@mishratheforsaken]

@@Musiyca I think you are giving OP way to much benefit of the doubt. Like look at the first post again, it really reads like the BFF only made the comment after OP threw an absolute tantrum over learning about a joke agreement between kids, and tried to pressure her BF to break off his 10 year friendship. Can you really say you wouldn't make a snide comment if one of your (decade+ long) friend's S/O's tried that shit?

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@carolroberts4614]

Hi Broke! Hope you've had a good day! I have been making sweets today. Peppermint creams with dark chocolate! They ended up wonky but tasty.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@carolroberts4614 ooooo sounds yummy much love m8 I'm at a friend's bday party 🤗🤗💜💜

[@luvondarox]

S1 The insecurities are painfully glaring, like a neon disco in an abandoned mall. Either communicate, or admit no trust and walk away.

[@chrismichaels462]

Story 3: I think OP should get rid of boyfriend and go out with BIL

[@Snowshowslow]

🤣

[@MGP2210]

Don't give in-laws and step parents a second chance to mistreat your kids.

[@RodRdgz93]

S1: OP was indeed interpreting the wrong way. Having a pact doesn't mean they're interested in each other but the exact opposite: They'll get together only in the worst case scenario, if both are still single at 30. They're only each other's last resort, the least desirable outcome. If they actually wanted to be together they would've been from the beggining. That said, maybe it wasn't how ex's friend saw it but that's how ex saw it. But instead of solving it together with him OP went immediately with the ultimatum. I think ex did the right thing by walking away from her.

[@greendiamondglow]

Ultimatums are bad, but he told her who was important to him. I wouldn't stay in a relationship with anyone who let their friends disrespect me like that, tho. That was probably not the first time the bff has said something like that. Just the first time she said it in front of the gf.

[@ReyK_47]

Story 2: Sounds like a good dad for protecting his daughter! It's sad that his intention to let the girls bond didn't work out. If only he had a bit better taste in girlfriends... 😅

[@julias2855]

If I didn’t have enough money for me & the kids. I would not get something & give to kids. Husband has 2 grown kids. When we married my mother told me “If u marry a man w children u will treat them like ur own. If u can’t then don’t get married. I raised to b a good woman.” Mother was mistreated as a step child & is very sensitive about it.

[@ScreamingDucksShotMyMother]

Wow so not only did he completely take his child's side, but him, and her mother seem to be coming together to handle this together. That shows OP has two good parents willing to work together to protect, and make sure their child is happy.

[@pauldavisjr.3284]

Last op don't marry Jack. You can't marry into a family who don't see your children as family and are very willing to mistreating them.

[@starbird3939]

Story 2 Wait. The dad gave the gf $300 for EVERYONE. And the woman instead spent it on her daughter instead of OP. This would be break up worthy.

[@kimberlyplatt2382]

Story 1 OP is not the AH. We gonna ignore that even if her BF was not into his female BFF. She was into him, to the point she was rude to OP and the BF didn't check it. Imagine if the genders were reversed. With a dude creeping and waiting in the BF. Being openly disrespectful. Saying he was waiting for his turn. OP did dodge a bullet but a whole nuke. Because, in his next relationship this female friend will do it all over again. Until he's stuck with her.

[@annanas9122]

9:02 I would make an ultimatum under these exact circumstances. The friend was disrespectful and I WOULD expect my partner to either drag the friend through the mud and/or make some distance between them. Otherwise it'd be an ultimatum with my foot halfway out the door, but that's IF and only IF a normal discussion wouldn't help the partner see it from my perspective. Ultimatum is okay as a last resort (obviously, using it for any and all friends of opposite gender, especially if they didn't do or say anything wrong, and using it without a normal discussion failing is manipulative), imho, at the very least it clearly shows you what the person's priorities are.

[@FanFicnic]

It’s such a humongous deal breaker if your SO excludes your child on purpose.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#2 - OP's dad is a true champ! Good on him for not putting up with his SO's bullshit for one second - return all those 'goodies' and get his daughter all the friggin' Starbucks she wants! Getting those two witches out of the house - bonus! He has set the line in the sand for his GF and she best not stray over it again.

[@clairebear-96]

Story 3, had Mum gone on the trip and her kids had seen the pictures afterward, with their cousins on a supposedly adults-only trip… how is she supposed to explain that? “Sorry, future grandma lied to me bc she doesn’t like you” ????

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

Story 2- I don't have kids, but my friend does. I wouldn't even dream of going into a café and ordering myself something without getting the kid something, if I don't have much money then I explain we need to keep it cheap. If I only have enough for one drink and my friend didn't have money on him either, I would buy the kid a drink because I can cope with feeling thirsty longer than a child can. What an absolutely awful step "mum". That money was for all 3 of them, her behaviour was just disgusting every step of the way. What a horrible woman. I feel sad knowing that her daughter is going to grow up thinking it's acceptable to behave the way her mother does. I'M SO HAPPY that the dad stepped up and supported his daughter. That turned my frown upside down 😁😁 Also.. What's a cakepop? 😂

[@RiddlesAssassin]

It’s sort of a marshmallow-y pastry thing on a stick. They’re usually only one bite, but they’re decorated so they often cost more than they should. They’re really good, though. 😅

[@VHEmpress]

Story 1: She should look at it like she dodged a bullet. Not because of his pact with his friend but because this guy could move on from a 5-year relationship so quickly and go no contact with her, take off to Florida and then come back and end things for good (probably due to his so-called friend's advice). This guy cannot see that his friend is manipulating him and trying to make her own dreams come true. Perhaps, her biological clock is ticking.

[@markiusgalfordii9248]

That last story leave that guy he is no good anyone but anyone that puts their mother over is mother over there stepkids or kids Is a loser

[@Because-rt8qs]

Story 1: How could she NOT give an ultimatum? How could she compromise instead? What would a compromise even be? He's either friends with a disrespectful woman or he's not. There's no way to compromise. Some things are a dichotomy.

[@SheenaReine]

My aunt did this to me at 16 Told my mom she’d take care of food on an nyc trip. I had $50 for 3 days. For souvenirs. I ended up eating $2 falafel off trucks every day. Sleeping on the floor bc she “couldn’t share a bed” and her bf and son had the other bed. Then on the way home, having barely eaten in 3 days bc 50 is nothing, they stopped for Wendy’s. All got food, didn’t ask me. Then she looked at me and scoffed “oh, I’m not paying he (her bf) is, but did you want something?” I said no. I cried the entire way home starving. My mom lost it on her. It was the worst trip ever. We didn’t do anything I wanted and only what they did. I was also allowed to go down to the lobby by myself and I was scared to smoke on the street (early 00s, smoking laws were lax I was able to buy a pack in nyc) so the employees allowed me to use their smoke place in a grimy sort of courtyard. I also sat down there feeding the computer dollars to use MySpace lol

[@SheenaReine]

Oh and it was an 8 hour car ride home 😅

[@julias2855]

My mom does not buy things for my step grandkids. But when they r around she’s sweet & loving & buys them things same as my brothers kids. Husband is 20 years older & his grandkids r same age as my brothers kids. We have none. She calls them “baby” and is kind. She was a step kid mistreated & is very sensitive & raised us to b mindful of how unwanted kids r made to feel. She carries it into her 70’s.

[@maemae527]

Story one- I made this pact with a friend, and sometimes reference it. A part of me is hoping that OPs friend is just doing callback jokes (like I was) and isn’t actually serious.

[@1tommyday]

OPs relationship is pretty much doomed. If they dont break up and marry, the bf and his bff will cheat on OP because they will always feel like theynever experienced each other

[@maddy8328]

Story 1, NTA. What kind of fucked up deal is that. The fact that the backup said shit is disgusting

[@Davtwan]

The ultimatum wasn’t the best idea, but man is the ex a fool for not getting why this upsets her. They won’t be together when they’re thirty? More he won’t be _anyone_ when he’s thirty with an attitude like that.

[@carolroberts4614]

Then he'll be fair game for the BestFriend!

[@katwiltz1134]

We'll get together when we're 30 minutes you're not the love of my life but we can live together

[@JMac7395]

STORY 1: I would like to point out that OP took the bait the bff threw out. OP should've set back & watched in silence, but instead she kept shaking the soda can until it burst. The bf did infact chose his bff over his gf. He switched everything around on OP to relieve himself of any responsibility, but the reality is he chose the bff. Guarantee during his Florida trip, he was talking to HER the entire time. The bf is willfully being blind to the reality of the situation. And female bff will continue to play the long game.

[@roelthas]

In the last story, the problem is not the FMIL, is the partner.

[@333333joshua]

These types of friendships sound identical to other stories, op is just a distruction, his failed attempt to move on, while still having feelings on his crush. He will choose his "friend" over his gf and take her side too. This is when the romantic partner will realize their fears were true.

[@delilahbelle2125]

1st Story: I KNEW the backup is the reason this was brought up. They're getting closer to 30, and she's getting antsy that his relationship with OP because of it. After hearing the update, I'll bet money every word that came out of his mouth was fed to him by the backup. She did this intentionally and the BF fell for it hook, line, and sinker. Moron. I do wish OP would have had more confidence in her relationship to withstand the nonsense of the "backup plan," but things fell apart pretty fast afterwards, so the relationship probably wasn't as strong as OP thought. If my partner of 5 years had something like that arranged with a friend, I had enough confidence in my relationship in my late twenties that I likely would have cuddled closer to my BF and said "well, it seems like the deal won't be necessary from my perspective." *giggly snuggles and sweet kiss 💋 I hope OP attends therapy and works on herself so she can be more confident and have better communication in her next relationship.