I'M BACK! STRUGGLING WITH GRIEF AFTER 4 YEARS. STUMBLING, BUT GETTING BACK UP!| One Happy Widow

I'm back! Struggling with grief after 4 years. I am stumbling, but still getting back up. I have been feeling down and ashamed to try to help people in their grief journey, while I was not living by example. I am back now, and ready to make more videos and hope to help more widowed people.
MORE VIDEOS TO WATCH:
○ FINDING HAPPINESS AFTER MY HUSBAND DIED - • FINDING HAPPINESS AFTE...
○ HOW STRESS CAN TRIGGER GRIEF -
• HOW STRESS CAN TRIGGER...
○ 12 THINGS I LEARNED WHEN I BECAME A WIDOW - • 12 THINGS I LEARNED WH... ​
○ HOW I RESET MY HEALTH IN 28 DAYS -
• HOW I RESET MY HEALTH ...
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AFFILIATE DISCLAIMER: Links included in this description might be affiliate links. If you purchase a product or service with the links that I provide I may receive a small commission. There is no additional charge to you! Thank you for supporting my channel so I can continue to provide you with free content each week!
MEDICAL DISCLAIMER: I am not a doctor, counselor, or any other medical professional. Information in this video is not meant to be interpreted as medical advice. I am simply sharing my own experiences in my grief journey. If you feel that your needs are beyond the scope of the informational content of this video, please seek medical advice from your doctor to discuss treatments or medications that may be available to you. If you are having feelings or thoughts of self-harm or suicide, please call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255
Helping you find your happy in the grieving process
Life, Love, and Laughter after Loss

[@terrycerda1837]

Thank you for sharing. Missed you ..you encourage me.. my husband died of pancreatic cancer 8 years now. Felt overwhelmed needed a roof replacement and kitchen ceiling replaced redone due to leaky roof .sheetrock ceiling caved now being replaced . Process float and tape texture paint a process.mess every where dusty. So then my pet dog 🐕 Chihuahua BABY BOY DIED THIS MORNING HAD HIM FOR 10 YEARS MISS MY PET ..BUT MISS MY HUSBAND TO MAKE ALL THESE DECESIONS FOR ROOF AND CEILING REPAIRS LOOKING FOR BIDS SUCH A HASSLE. BUT GOD HELPS ME GET THROUGH THIS AND SO DO YOU..... THANK YOU. LOOKING FORWARD FOR MORE OF YOUR VIDEOS. LETS HANG IN THERE.. GOD HELP US ALL WIDOWS

[@luananoel6786]

Terry Cerda I'm so sorry about your dog and your continued grief and feeling overwhelmed. Sending you hugs and support.

[@wolfandbhaktapeyerl2733]

My dear one, you'll get through this! My hubby died (colon cancer) just over a year ago and it's been tough, but it's taught me strength, endurance and confidence! I'm the only one who needs to deal with the household issues now. Which for me is still so scary. I felt out of balance and out of control. But each day I tackled the necessities without my man, who did everything for me. We were a team, and we discussed everything. But that's over now. We'll be OK, my dear one - I'm with you! With ❤️ from South Africa, 🇿🇦!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching, and sharing with us! Hang in there, you have so many people here who can relate to these type of struggles! #widfam

[@janehollingsworth8108]

Be kind to yourself. You have jut experienced monumental stressful life experiences. Your honesty is refreshing and so needed by many of us. Worry not about mistakes…I firmly believe we fully learn best from mistakes. Even 11 years after loosing my husband to ALS, these set backs occur for me. You are so right about the camaraderie of widowhood that surpasses words. Sometimes we can lead, sometimes we need to follow and sometimes we can hold hands and walk beside one another.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I love how you worded this! #widfam

[@janehollingsworth8108]

@@OneHappyWidow thank you💕

[@kriscamagramo385]

Hi. Just lost my husband 3 months ago and im only 36 yrs old. Childless. Inspired with your words. I just wish i can overcome feelings like i am feeling right now. Feeling hopless and alone and the feeling of guilt is killing me everyday.

[@janehollingsworth8108]

@@kriscamagramo385 please know whatever you are feeling is right for you ~ there is no rule book for grieving ~ it differs with each of us, yet there is a common bond of loss. I call the first year or more “the year of the fog”. Truthfully, for me that fog lifted ever so slowly, without my realization, until about the 4-5 year mark. Dear friends shared that they were seeing “progress/changes”, but I did not fully feel progress myself until then. I promise you that you will move forward whenever the time is right for you….and no sooner. Allow yourself all the feelings you have. Lean on trusted friends, counseling or whatever works for you at any given time. 💕

[@KaelaRoster]

@@kriscamagramo385 I am so sorry. I have been where you are. I lost my husband just after my 30th birthday. Also childless. It feels like the deepest darkest hole you have ever been in and the guilt is so painful. I promise you in time you will climb out of the dark hole. Much love.

[@ronpyburn3476]

Thank you for this talk. It has been 13 months since losing my wife suddenly. I have good days and bad days. Just learning to not be so hard on myself, especially on those bad days. I appreciate the very real talk that you give us. I wish you all the success, and love for your future.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you! #widfam

[@sandydawson664]

Thank you. It has been 6 months since I lost my husband to cancer. You described perfectly what happens with me too. Sometimes I’m okay & dealing with life and I’ll hear a song that reminds me of him or sometimes just random things that remind me of him and I fall apart. I know I’m still grieving. But I just wanted to thank you for telling us your normal. God Bless You 🙏

[@OneHappyWidow]

That’s one of my goals- for grieving people to feel normal about the process! #widfam

[@debbieroberts600]

My Husband was gone 1 Year June the 20th/ 2021 I also Struggle Every Day with Grief, I do Understand! God’s Blessings on You and your Family

[@OneHappyWidow]

I’m so sorry for this sad milestone you just passed. Thanks for sharing! #widfam

[@debbieroberts600]

@@OneHappyWidow Soooo Sorry for your Loss! Does it ever get Better! Only God’s Mercy & Grace that I am where I Am Today! I don’t have any Family near, soo I am very Isolated! I try to go to Church, that is even hard without my Husband with me,He was the ❤️ of my Life, I couldn’t have had a better Husband , will never Stop Missing & Loving Him! I Pray 🙏 your Life Journey gets better, being a Widow is not Fun! It is a Lonely life, when none of your Family is close by! I just have to make the best of it & keep Going! God’s Blessings on You and your Family!! 🙏

[@billgosling2280]

Music in the backgrounds too loud

[@Cindyscrossstitch]

I so missed you. We are all human and have up and down days. You look great!! As a collective we are all going through something. Just share yourself. Nothing is ever perfect🌻🌻🌻

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching, and for your encouragement! #widfam

[@kymcoote4493]

Yes your real and life is challenging. I step forward, sometimes it just hard…….💕🇦🇺🤗💙🤦🏻‍♀️🤷‍♀️😪

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@rosemariealvarado9902]

I get it!! My husband died 4 months ago after caring for him for 44 months after a massive stroke. Every thing has piled up without him to advice me and love me . 3 more people died since Zeke died, and had someone I trusted hurt my feelings in a dreadful way. People really don't understand how they impact us when we are grieving. Paper work gets fouled up , companies refuse to accept certified mail, the list goes on and on. It all feels so big when it's really just life amplified by grief . Thank you for providing a realistic view of life in grief. The background music was a reflection of the chaos you expressed. Every time it paused I took a big breath. Thank the Lord for wonderful pastors. I haven't been able to attend church yet without being a blubbering mess. So I don't go. Thank you for being you. Love you!!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for sharing! I had the same issue with church, every time I went all I could think about was his casket at the front of the sanctuary and I never even heard the message. No one came over, no one comforted me, I just sat alone and cried. They probably didn’t know what to do, so they ignored me. Eventually I changed church and went to a new one where they didn’t know me from before, and it helped. #widfam

[@jan4222]

I so understand your comment. I also cared for my husband for 4 years following multiple strokes and seizures. He's been gone for only 2 months, and my grief is so fresh. I've also had the paperwork foul ups, inappropriate comments and never-ending family drama. How can I even begin to process this huge loss with all that going on? It sometimes feels like I'll never be okay again. I try to remember to be thankful that I had this wonderful man in my life, but I miss him so badly I can barely breathe. They say it gets better, but does it?

[@maddieadams75]

Welcome back, I fully understand those dark days. They rear their ugly head when you least expect it.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Yes, they certainly do! I guess it’s hard to accept that they will still come, even 4-5 years out!

[@southjersey10]

G’day, my wife died from cancer about 6 weeks ago from the date of this video. She was 71 and we were married for 36 years. I was her de facto hospice nurse which I think has helped me wander through the grief process with minimal hiccups. I feel a bit guilty as I redo the house to suit my now bachelor status …… guilt doesn’t last long as I think about how I like the way house looks now. It has my stamp of approval 👍🏾 At 66 I’m experimenting with making no-sew cornices for windows. Go figure 😲 I do agree that it’s good to hang out with people who share our same type of loss; I find that I want to do more helping when I was in a grief support group. It’s a bit uncaring on my part to want folk to “get over it “ faster. Maybe because I had a multi year journey through my wife’s many illnesses that as she went into the care of God and His angels I was happy for her soul and spirit. Grief is personal and there is no cap on the time it can take - I fully understand that. 😀 Glad I found this channel and the honesty shared 🤗. Mark

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for your feedback and support! #widfam

[@ann-mariebyrd]

I missed you !!! You keep listening to those sermons!! God speaks to us in many different ways!! He wanted you to hear those words for a reason !!! You do so much for all of us, so please always remember we are here for you as well!!! I’m praying for you to be renewed !!! Much love!!!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Such a wonderful message, thank you!!! #widfam

[@glynnyschiavoni8896]

Mountains to climb! Don’t fret, your human, and you’ll come back. God bless you.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks! #widfam

[@sheilafade2016]

Absolutely!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@lindadrewl]

So glad to see you back. It’s bee 14 months since I lost my husband & this week was a year for my son. It does get some what easier but it’s still there. On top of my grief, I have Covid & try to get well. I miss having someone to say it’s going to be all right. That’s why I love your videos. Thank you for taking time to post this for us. 💕

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching, and I hope you feel better soon. I had Covid last year on the week of thanksgiving, and it turned into pneumonia. It was awful! #widfam

[@servingtheteawithhoney3066]

*I was with my husband for 25yrs before I was tasked with taking him off life support on July 22, 2021. We were both hardworking empty Nesters enjoying our four small grandchildren. He suffered cardiac arrest on July 10th and the prognosis wasn’t in his favor. I am doing quite well. A hard week was when I held his death certificate in my hands. I fell apart bc it made it so much more real.. so final. It’s been two months and I’ve emptied his closets/drawers. I kept his large shirts to wear to sleep at night. I’m looking for a counselor to unearth some childhood trauma. But overall, I’m in a good space. Never gave up on God! I still have hope! I miss my bestie so much! I encourage you all to keep pushing forward towards greatness! You are wonderfully made and you have a purpose to fulfill! My husband fulfilled his purpose and that gives me peace! Hang in there, I believe in you!* 🙏🏾♥️

[@OneHappyWidow]

I love your positive outlook! We will have our ups and downs, but God always has us!!! #widfam

[@naomiferreira8255]

I’ve been struggling this week too. 💯 it’s dealing with life on top of grief. Relying on my inner chapel to get thru the 5th year of my husband’s passing. Stay strong. Thank you and God bless.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Pretty sure you can relate to this struggle and this phase! Glad I’m not alone, even after all this time. #widfam

[@nissamccoll6502]

Just come across you video..I lost my husband to liver cancer 10 days ago and I don't know what I feel ..it's like it's not real ,it's happening but it's not happening.

[@OneHappyWidow]

This is totally normal to feel numb and disbelief during this early phase. It’s the first stage of grief. I’m so sorry for your loss! Reach out if you ever need to, and search on FB for our group with the same name as this channel! #widfam

[@jessicavaia2122]

Nissa I also lost my husband 7 months ago to cancer. It is so hard at first you can’t believe it’s real. It was so hard to sleep when I would wake I looked around wondering it was real or a bad dream. Then trying to figure out how to cope with everything. Take moment to moment just breathe. Each day will be milestone I went to a bereavement group that helped a lot with coping with the loss. Good luck so sorry for your loss.

[@sheilab4978]

Thanks for coming back.

[@OneHappyWidow]

It’s nice to be back! #widfam

[@joannemeadows4971]

I'm so glad to see you. I think we all understand how we can get "off track" when life seems like it's all uphill. I'm sure that grief is the worst. Even in good times, it is always there. So, when we are to weakened from other stresses we slip into the darkness again. Be well, and be strong.🤗

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for your support! #widfam

[@joannemeadows4971]

Thank you for all you do for us.

[@MernieLove]

You look amazing with no make up and your hair looks great! I wish I looked that good without make up. I’m so glad you’re back and my prayers go out to you., I’m going on one year the loss of my husband and it’s crazy the ups the downs.

[@OneHappyWidow]

You are so sweet, thank you! Prayers for you during the upcoming milestone. Sometimes the anticipation of it creeping up can be worse than the actual day itself. #widfam

[@myliverandme]

You are still inspiring because you are real. Iam sorry for your struggles. I can't remember why you moved...but I hope it gets smoother. Time should help THAT transition, at least. 🤔 I passed the 2 year mark in May, having lost my Hubby of 30 years in 2019. I have break-downs usually once or more a day still, as I "see" him in everything. Grief changes from day to day, as Iam sure you know. You are right about the grief adding weight to all the other problems. "This too, shall pass". Thank-you for the video. We are all in your corner.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you so much! We moved for several reasons- the selling market was hot, so we knew it would sell fast. Also, we just had several folks move out and I wanted to downsize so we couldn’t accommodate so many grown children to move back home lol. Lastly, we didn’t care for living in a subdivision with an HOA and we wanted land. So we ended up with 7 acres, and the house is still big haha. But we also wanted farm animals, and we already got a few. So, all good reasons for the move, but it was still stressful!

[@barbarapomeroy4664]

Thank you so much for your honesty! Widowed 3 years…and THIS year was the worst so far, Might be what’s happening in the world, too!

[@OneHappyWidow]

I’m sure the state of our nation isn’t helping things! #widfam

[@jeanobrien8528]

Welcome back missed your videos thank you for you honesty

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@phendrahend9530]

Good to see you back, I've wondered how you are. I don't think anyone expects you to be 100% all the time, that isn't realistic. Please be yourself, tell us what sucks and what doesn't. We are all here dealing with the same thing, we may not all be in the same stage of grief, but we all have a basic understanding of how you feel. We all have those days, we don't want to see anyone because then we have to pretend to be ok. Since we are all in this together, don't force a smile and suffer alone. Come talk.

[@OneHappyWidow]

You’re right! It’s nice to be able to speak about the struggles without someone getting uncomfortable and trying to change the subject or leave. We just put it out there and the other members here just put out words of encouragement and support so that when we each have our moments of being down, we can return the favor! #widfam

[@agiigisttv]

Hello my humble greetings

[@agiigisttv]

Hello my humble greetings

[@999lizzybee]

Thank you so much! It truly helps me, at 6 months in, to feel ‘normal’, knowing that you struggle with grief-valleys even at 4 years, even with a new partner, etc etc. Take care of yourself!

[@OneHappyWidow]

It never goes away entirely, but we learn to handle it with experience. #widfam

[@Nancydhu]

your videos make me feel less alone in all of this.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Than I have done my job. Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@candicegaier2649]

Llistening to you made me realize that how I feel sometimes is normal. I've been widowed almost 4 years and I still have those moments when I forget that he's gone. But, I am afraid to tell my kids that, because my daughter starts crying and my sons think I'm nuts. We didn't have a fairy tale marriage but I miss him so often.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Hardly anyone has a fairy tale marriage...and then when we remember negative things, we start to feel guilty, and the cycle keeps going. I tell JP to try to remember the good times, the memories that make him smile...the others can just fade away with time. #widfam

[@robingiglio3198]

Like Sandy Dawson I lost my husband 6 months ago. I immediately had to move in with my 92 year old mother so no time for grief. She passed away under hospice and I am her executor. I don't need you to tell me how to go on and enjoy life. I need you to tell me things just like you did in today's video. If it helps you at all my mantra has been "Take care of today only." Don't dwell on the giant picture, just deal with now. Thank you for coming back to us.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for your feedback! Everyone seems to respond to different types of messages, but my hope is that I can just be as real as possible and that people can sense it and appreciate my transparency. I do try to move forward and be happy, but the truth is, it doesn’t always work that way from willpower alone. Like you said, we can just win the day and wake up tomorrow and do it again! #widfam

[@robingiglio3198]

@@OneHappyWidow your messages are all great. Just trying to tell you I appreciate your honesty the most. When you do I feel like I am "OK" and I can go on. 🙃

[@bobbyhousley9877]

Of course you will have your moments. When you become a widower 37 years ago, and still not remarried it doesn't make any sense that I or you would still cry at times over our losses but I still do. I was 30, now I am 67. Still not married. It is so traumatic when there is no warning. But, I still have to be strong and press forward. Some day I we will meet again.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for your support! #widfam

[@brendaadams3905]

Love your videos…I find the music a bit distracting 🤷‍♀️but love your messages

[@OneHappyWidow]

I tried it without the music and it sounds too silent lol. I can try to turn it down a bit more…but thanks for your feedback, it helps me to improve! #widfam

[@mchapman9440]

I lost my dad to lung cancer 3 weeks ago. The cancer from his lungs metastasis to his brain. It went into remission for 11 years but it came back with a vengeance this year. I found your videos which has helped me through this extremely difficult time. I've also shared this video with my mom. Thank you so much for everything that you do.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching, and for sharing your feedback! #widfam

[@carolynmcintyre110]

Thank you for being here for us🌈

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you too for watching and responding! #widfam

[@n1uno1965]

Glad your back! Maybe video to or from work sharing your heart. 😘😘👍🏻🙏🏻

[@OneHappyWidow]

What a great idea! Thanks! #widfam

[@cathyparker8565]

Thank you. Glad to have you back🌹

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@terridunning3450]

Welcome back! Coming home is a great feeling.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@susansmith9318]

You're amazing ! Give yourself Grace. We all at times can go to that dark place at times! Amen to turn on the light! God is so good! I struggle still on days with the loss of my husband 3 years ago. I tell myself I have more and more good days than bad days! Thank you for all you do to help ❤ so many people!!!!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you for your support! #widfam

[@afpwebworks]

Good to see you again. Welcome back!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you! #widfam

[@tomdunbar320]

My name is CarrieAnn and im so glad God spoke to u through ppl, we r all human in dealing with the grief. Im dealing with the loss of my dad(best friend) and grandparents all in 6mos and youve been helping so much by just knowing sometimes its ok not to be ok. So please dont go away again lol

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for your feedback. I’m so sorry you are suffering multiple losses so close together. #widfam

[@tomdunbar320]

Thank u so very much

[@peace5194]

Thank you You are just one of us trying to make your way 💕🙏🏼

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching

[@jeankarcher2460]

So glad your back. The one thing I've learned is that this grief journey is not a success only venture. There are days when I consider it a success to get out of bed. Thank you for your honesty -- it shows your humanity!

[@OneHappyWidow]

You’re right…sometimes just getting up and getting to work is a success. #widfam

[@YaYa-jy1yv]

You are entitled to being human♥️

[@OneHappyWidow]

I know….but I’m type A and I have a hard time forgiving myself for being human sometimes lol. #widfam

[@loriramminger222]

I get it...... I spent a few days last week all stressed and don’t know why. Thank you very much for what you do,,,,,, ❤

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching #widfam

[@carolwood4575]

Glad to see you back on KZbin. I just recently found you and have been watching a lot of your videos. I was married 57 years and it’s been 21/2 years since he passed. I didn’t reach out to anyone because of Covid and basically had no support I’m a very much a loner. I though I was doing ok but realize I just never accepted my grief. I’m an artist and I threw myself into my art and that helped me. Your videos have made me stop and consider my situation. Thank you for doing this.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! Join our Fb group if you haven’t already. Www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow

[@moonviolet27]

Welcome back- you are human like the rest of us😉😘

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you! #widfam

[@button4631]

Thank you for being honest with us. We don't mind if you are struggling, it's actually comforting to know it's normal.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you! #widfam

[@KaelaRoster]

I also lost my husband very suddenly 4 years ago, and your videos are just so comforting and validating for me. You explain things just so perfectly and hit the nail on the head about how I am feeling and what I am going through. Thank you.

[@OneHappyWidow]

It really helps to know I’m not the only person feeling like I do! #widfam

[@kbenton8609]

Thank you for your honesty. This way of life that is now our every day is not always easy and it does help to know that we are not alone. I will be looking forward to the things you will send our way in the future.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you! I’ve got another 2 videos already recorded, with some interesting topics, and they will post this week and next, so stay tuned! #widfam

[@user-oq8sn8dr1f]

Thank you for the video! Your honesty is actually heart-warming, and makes what many of us are going through more personal. Be kind to yourself, you're human, you've been through a lot, and like someone else mentioned ... life gets messy at times. I pray that things get better for you, and hope that everyone's kind words lets you know just how much we love you!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you, that is so kind of you to say! #widfam

[@marywade7213]

Happy your back.. just in time to boost me, as I've just been really down. My spouse has only been gone since 3/20. Just had a service for him in July & buried his memorial tree. So raw again.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Yes, this is define the a triggering event! These type of moments will always catch us, we just learn a little more how to manage ourselves. You have an awesome support group here and in our FB group of the same name. #widfam

[@billverstelle8979]

I’m new in the grieving process and have been enjoying your videos. I thought I was doing really good being 7 weeks into my grieving but just has a set back, I tried to just suppress it and it came back and hit me hard. So hearing that even after 4 years you had a setback too shows 1 your human and 2 shows me it’s ok to have setbacks too. I loaded KZbin and this video was on my home page so click it and it is just what I needed. Thanks you.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! Feel free to join our FB group for more support as well: facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow #widfam

[@luananoel6786]

Thank you for coming back at the exact right moment in my life. You've helped me so much by being so real and honest. I lost my husband from cancer seven months ago. My daughter (not his) got mad at me for not being able to make a decision two days after he died) and has basically cut me out of her life so it's like I've lost two people that I loved very much. You are an inspiration. Sending you blessings and love. ❤

[@OneHappyWidow]

The changes in the family dynamic are so real after the loss of a spouse! #widfam

[@rebeccanewman7531]

you may write to me any time. my children r mad at me. my husband in 2010 after a marriage of 42 years. its hard. i wish they would not be mad. beccy

[@brendasouth935]

I'm glad you're back. Thank you for acknowledging your down times. It's good for us all to be honest and hear each other's stories. You don't have to be happy for us. We're ok with down times; we have them also. You don't have to wear makeup for us either. You're beautiful as you are. You help us when you share your journey. Thank you!

[@OneHappyWidow]

You’re so sweet, thank you! #widfam

[@heather4180]

I can so relate to this. It’s been 2 years for me. Thank You for Sharing. You got this, Give Yourself Some Grace. We all need to support each other. Grief is no joke. There is no right or wrong way to grieve & certainly no time frame. Thank You Again 🙏🏻💕

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you for your feedback and support! #widfam

[@conniejon100]

Thank you for being real and sharing so truthfully about how things are going right now. I'm so glad I found your channel. My husband died 7 1/2 years ago and honestly I've been beating myself up for the past 7 years because I was having mostly down days. We were married 40 years and he was my world. The day he died I was out of town taking classes for my home based business. I texted him to see if it was a good time to chat and that was the last text we exchanged. At about that same time the house caught fire, so we were never able to talk. After the class was over I checked my phone messages and got one from my next door neighbor. She would only tell me to call the hospital. Come to find out, John died at the scene while the house was burning down. I've needed to hear what you are sharing and am so appreciative that you ARE sharing both the good and bad days. Keep up the good work.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks so much, and I appreciate you sharing your feedback! #widfam

[@ladonnawilson2145]

I just found your videos 2 days ago I’m learning a lot and thank you for saying that you can have grief and happiness at the same time

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@meepkitty8390]

I am glad you are back! Thank you for your honesty, as that sort of thing has happened to me too. We can't wait until life is easy to connect with people. :)

[@OneHappyWidow]

You are so right! #widfam

[@nancys.100]

I have found grief recovery journals in several formats trying to decide which one has me sort of stuck, then I got ill, triggered by the news, stubbed my toe had to put my foot up for, a week rough here for me too. Ty 4 the Update. Vid.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I get bogged down by too many options of life as well sometimes. They call it analysis paralysis…and for me, it is a severe symptom of my ADHD that I struggle with often. I’m a research champ…but putting the info into action is where I often fall short!

[@dawntannahill6892]

Thank you for this talk. Im new to your group. I lost my husband 4 months ago and I cant seem to even begin to bring myself out of this darkness. Making any decision is so difficult to the point Im avoiding making any decisions.

[@OneHappyWidow]

The group and this channel will help you start to move forward. When you are ready to pivot from grief to growth, my course will help with that. It’s ok if it takes a while to go from one phase to the next, as long as you never get stuck too long in one place (mentally). #widfam

[@sherylclements2846]

Thank you for posting. I’m not a widow, however a lot of what you speak of is my own path too. Your making these videos? No matter where you’re at, is your truth, and your making it through every day? Is encouraging us to walk our path to a better place too. You “get it” of loss and having a dark place hover over, yet not own you. You’re walking through this with God right there, and us, your followers. Thank you for being you, being real and being an over comer through Christ. God bless you! Joy does indeed cometh in the morning.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Amen! Thanks for watching and for sharing your feedback! #widfam

[@trish2256]

I've been thinking about you so very much. Love your videos.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you so much! #widfam

[@maryjoiner7557]

Welcome back I have been looking for you. It helps to listen to someone that has been through what you've been through.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! And for waiting for me!!! #widfam

[@sheilafreisthler4421]

What you are doing is extremely helpful. My wonderful husband has been gone two years this month, and the entire month has been hard. Thanks for what you do.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching and sharing! #widfam

[@gingerfeeley6849]

Thank you for sharing your struggles. I relate to what you have gone through.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@dyancollins6894]

You’ve been missed, Leo!!! Sending you a big Texas-sized hug! ❤️🙏❤️

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you so much! #widfam

[@ninajohnson6578]

Glad to see you back. I’m coming up on 5 years. Really really hard milestone

[@OneHappyWidow]

I’m sure it is! #widfam

[@jessicavaia2122]

Thank you for sharing it really does help. I felt that there something wrong with me. I felt like I suppose to gone through certain emotions by now and its so nice to be here. Hang in there so glad your back.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I have realized there is no “supposed” to with grief…except that we are supposed to transition through the phases (with setbacks, of course) but it’s all about putting one foot in front of the other as long as we are still above ground! #widfam

[@melindabarefoot4612]

So glad you're back!! As the months go by and we head toward December, I feel like I can't breathe. December 4th will be 6 years, and it feels like it was yesterday. There's so much more to this than meets the eye...My husband's grave doesn't have his name on it. He was buried beside his brother, which.was originally meant for his brother's wife, but she remarried. I was walking in a fog, going through the motions, but not mentally there. His family took advantage of that, in planning his funeral, where he would be buried, and so on. I tried to involve his family, and not have it "all about me", but alot of conversation and so forth, was going on behind my back. I was even named as a suspect in his death... and he took his own life. The marker on his grave is shared by his brother. I wanted to have a marker for him, of his own, but in order to do so, the brother's wife would have to get another marker for his brother...and she's not willing to do so. There are things made into the marker that can't be changed, that relate to the wife...like a telephone which represents her years working with the phone company. There is also a ribbon that has "together forever" on it, which refers to the couple, not my husband. Those things can't be changed on the marker. The only thing that can be changed is the name plate with the dates. I will not have his grave left half done. Therefore, I've chosen to move him, at my children's request. Recently, it came to my attention that there was a post about his grave being "Unfinished" and this individual had taken upon herself to start collecting money to BUY HIM A MARKER!!! This happens to be the wife of a good friend of my husband, and I think it wasn't done out of any harm, but.... it made me look and feel like I was trash. This person has yet to contact me about the whole thing, and I'm not sure she will. I'm trying to find out exactly what it will cost to do what needs to be done, and to get the proper ones to move him. Until this is finished, it's an open wound that will not heal. Meanwhile, my oldest son is getting married in October, and he doesn't want me there. We haven't spoken in months. I plan to get a pocket knife, with his daddy's thumbprint and dates inscribed on it, so he will have it on his wedding day. This loss doesn't go away. The hurt is still with us every day. Christmas use to be my favorite time of year, and now it's very painful, and I feel like I can't breathe....

[@OneHappyWidow]

I am so sorry you are going through all of this turmoil! Family can truly complicate the grieving process, and everyone wants to meddle and put their opinion in- and have it count in the decisions! It amazes me how much people think they are entitled to the execution of a person’s final decisions when there is a spouse involved. How disrespectful! As the other half of a whole couple, my choices come first, and everyone else should step back and deal with it! But that’s not always how it goes and many of us know all too well about that reality. I hope you get your husband his own resting place with a marker that contains HIS connections and that his children can feel peace when they visit. #widfam

[@godsloveforthegrievingwido7688]

Thank you so much for being real it really helped me. This is real talk I thank God for you. Being really real because sometimes we can think that something is wrong with us if we hadn't been able to get to the place where you are. I know that we're on this journey together. But again thanks so much for being real I believe your little too hard on yourself. You do excellent thanks again.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@ImHavinaHoot]

Happy to see you ❤

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@timgillenwater5989]

Will be praying for you

[@OneHappyWidow]

Always appreciated! #widfam

[@wendyeroche343]

You have been through a lot lately. Totally understand. Glad to see you back!

[@OneHappyWidow]

It’s part of life, I suppose! I’m hanging in there. #widfam

[@jeanwyatt2295]

Nice to see you back love from England

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you! #widfam

[@robertabickford5246]

It’s good to see you!! You are brave to continue the “collective healing process”. Whatever way it manifests itself, we all benefit knowing that we are not alone.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@NorthernBell4612]

Thank you for sharing your journey, ups, downs, successes and failures. I know we are not the only ones to have or will be facing this. I thought it might just be me having resurfacing grief now a little three years after my spouse passed of cancer. I don't think grief ever goes away but something we learn to live and cope with over time. I am currently in a relationship and 6 months after we met he was diagnosed with stage 4 colorectal cancer. It's like a sad, dark and creepy de ja vu of things to come. I try to remain strong, positive and accept the things that I can not change and do what I can to make the most of things. I totally got what you said that grief can lay a layer of crap sprinkles on everything when times get hard. Also staying a few steps ahead of grief but now and again it catches up with you. Been there, maybe there right now yet I know this too shall pass.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Peg, thanks for your feedback! Also, I’m so sorry to hear about your second journey into this…I sometimes wonder if it happens to me again, will it be similar, all different, will I handle it better because I’m an “experienced” grieved now…or what? And then I realize I’m already dreading something that hasn’t even happened yet and I have to stop. When we have lost someone, it is so much more real that it could easily happen again, instead of this abstract “what-if” idea. I admire your strength and attitude right now. #widfam

[@vietvetwife1]

I'm so happy you're back ! I'm coming in to my 8th month. The past few months seem harder for me. It seems like I can't or don't want to do anything other than watch Netflix & teaching myself to knit. I don't want to cook for myself & I've lost my appetite. I've been crying more often especially when I look at a picture of my husband. It seems too many people think I should be feeling better by now. I think to myself they're so clueless. Another thing I noticed is friends who helped me with house stuff a few months ago stopped. I had to buy a new kitchen faucet 3 months ago & the 3 different friends who offered to install it have maybe fallen off the face of the earth. It's still in the box gathering dust ! I'm so done with using the bathroom sink ! I'm on a pretty tight budget and a plumber is too expensive. I looked at the instructions figuring I'd do it myself. Forget that, it's not as simple as the broken one was. Same with my lawn..... had 1 person who was mowing it & I haven't heard from him. I need to buy a new lawnmower & do it myself. He brought his in his truck. My husband had a riding one but I remember him saying something needed to be fixed. Then he got too sick to fix it. Had to buy a new refrigerator & also need half of my roof done. I'm Venting here rather than to my son who lives to far from me & works odd hours to help me out. I'm grieving worse than after he first passed away. Watching your videos has helped me & have been looking for a new one. Thank you, thank you. Next month I'll be going to another support group. I thank God for that.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I’m so glad you have joined a support group, I think that will help you! I understand how difficult it is to try to do all the “man” things that our husbands used to take care of and we never had to worry with! As for your timeline and you feeling worse now than before, it is totally normal and makes sense. At first, you are in stage 1 of grief, which is denial or numbness. You go on autopilot and just do things out of habit or necessity. You keep busy to keep your mind off of the pain. But then when time passes, people stop coming by and helping (just as you said), and the reality hits you that this is really real, and they are really never coming back. Once you transition I to that next stage of grief, you are now feeling things you didn’t before. And your mind is realizing what actually happened. So, it’s not surprising that your emotions are more acutely now, and non-widowed people think you should be “getting over it” by now, but we here all understand why you feel this way. The first year is simply tough and there’s not a whole lot to make it easier, we just have to trudge through it. But it WILL start getting easier to manage your emotions over time. Reach out when you need us! #widfam

[@vietvetwife1]

You're so right about how & why I feel as I do. Thanks ! I love all your videos & kept watch for a new one. ☺

[@louisegraham5863]

AS U SAID N TRUE WE GREIVE 4 LIFE BUT LESS SENSITIVE EVEN AFTER 7 YRS, OUT OF BLUE N TRIGGER POINTS , GREIF JUST POPS IN, UR A DOLL THANKS 4 UR CHANNEL, GLAD IT HELPS U 2.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching!

[@lindathompson9334]

No need to apologize for not making your videos when you've had so many huge changes in your life. Sometimes it just gets to be overwhelming and you need a break to take care of yourself. You're very brave to take on being a blended family. That's tough all by itself without everything else going on in your life. Take care of yourself and we'll see you again when you're ready. You were missed.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for your kind message! #widfam

[@jeniatah]

You look great👍 just keep going

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you! #widfam

[@violacarter6506]

I lost my wife of 34 years suddenly and unexpectedly nearly three months ago. Now that I have somewhat progressed through the swirling toxic emotional reaction of shock and anxiety immediately following her demise, I find myself dealing with ALL the symptoms you are describing. Unfortunately, while they are existentially threatening, the symptoms you are going through are completely normal. As if you could FIND normality at a time like this! I TOTALLY understand. I weep for your grief as I weep for mine. I, too, am trying hard to work through the exhaustion with which this grief just envelops my body and soul, to do the things I know I need to do to survive, and eventually build a new life, which was unforeseen, unplanned, for which I have no preparation or road map, and in which I am missing my strongest supporter, friend, lover and guide; my wife. The grief will be unfixable, and I will have to learn to carry it as I strive to build a life alongside it.

[@violacarter6506]

Oops, I just realized I was signed in with my late wife's account. I am Michael, her widowed husband.

[@OneHappyWidow]

What an insightful reply. You are so correct! #widfam

[@sparklepoot]

No pressure, lol.... but.... lost husband to SO unexpected suicide 2017. You're like a lifeline right now. So lost between grief, new home, new town, Covid. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

[@OneHappyWidow]

I can relate to the niggling of everything! Join our FB group too as they have been a lifeline for me! Www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow and add your email to the application so you can be on my list to receive an alert when my course launches- sounds like you’d be a perfect fit for it! #widfam

[@marymacpherson7719]

How helpful your honesty and sharing that stress layered on top of grief can exacerbate dark feelings. Being vulnerable on camera, God bless you. Sending love vibrations your way. Step back, and take your time for recovery. "Slow down. Be still and know that I am God " Stepping aside is totally OK!!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you for your kind words! #widfam

[@jeanobrien8528]

Hi from Ireland 🇮🇪

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@melindabarefoot4612]

So glad for you being so open with this talk. As December 4th gets closer, the more anxiety I have. It will be 6 years since my husband took his life, and also our 29th anniversary. It's still so raw, and my family is torn apart. My son got married on Halloween, and I felt like an outsider. The bride danced with her dad and her stepdad, but my son didn't want to dance with me. That hurt really bad because that was a one chance thing. There won't be another moment like that. You made a statement that just stood out to me..."We've had to learn how to make it without them". That's the gospel truth. Sometimes it's sadness, anger, guilt....like a rollercoaster. One of the hardest parts is not knowing the whole truth. Did he act alone or was his death staged? I know I have to accept it either way, but him making the choice or someone making it for him, are two different things. At the time of his passing, I made the decision to donate both his corneas and his eyes. He had the most beautiful eyes... I'm looking into finding out about the recipient of his corneas. It does give a sense of something amazing that another person has a better quality of life because of him...

[@OneHappyWidow]

What a selfless act to donate to someone! I hope you are able to find out who it was so you can maybe look into "his" eyes again. As for the manner of his death, I cannot imagine the struggle with that. With Dewey, there was no doubt. With JP, his wife's death was unexpected...but he also struggles with whether it was accidental or intentional. It was listed as an accident, but the only way to know would be to ask her, which he obviously can't do. I tell him to just go with that story, because he will never know for sure, and the other option just opens up so much more complicated pain and grief...and Lord knows there is already enough of that from any death! Praying for you! #widfam

[@agiigisttv]

Welcome darling

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@myrnaloy3731]

Glad to see you. The music is too loud and I can’t stay. Not a good day for me.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Sorry you are having a bad day. The music helps keep the silent background out. I have turned the next one down. Thanks for your feedback! #widfam

[@myrnaloy3731]

@@OneHappyWidow nothing personal. It was just me and the moment. It’s only been 2 months for me and feeling overwhelmed the past few days.

[@teresachoice2056]

I think it is called REAL LIFE !!. BUT JESUS is faithful. We get back up and push ourselves on..... We have all been there. Thank you for your honesty. Even your trials are helpful..... Just be you...the real you !!!!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you for your encouragement! #widfam

[@barbaraingram5147]

I don't hear excuses, I hear reasons. You were/are extremely busy. You are too hard on yourself.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks…I’m trying not to be, but I’m a type A, and have always been my own worst critic! #widfam

[@barbaraingram5147]

@@OneHappyWidow I'm definitely my own worst critic at times. I'll have to Google personality types !

[@vernabryant2894]

I wondered where you went.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for checking in! #widfam

[@louisegraham5863]

Yep

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching! #widfam

[@peaceatlast2684]

Great to see you back, I’m always watching out for your return Best wishes!!!!! You have the loveliest skin I recently had to separate from my partner of 32 years because of his alcoholism A kind wonderful gentleman who is fully in the grip of addiction I had to separate my self from it as it was causing me major anxiety and stress It is like a living death watching him slowly kill himself our three adult sons are side themselves with fear of what is going to happen him Reading the comments here it seems everyone has their cross to bare I really appreciate your videos God bless xx

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you, that is very kind of you. I am sorry about the tough decision you had to make. I’m sure you are experiencing a form of grief over your relationship. #widfam

[@bobbyhousley9877]

But, you will be ok.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Yes, I’m confident of that! #widfam

[@Molly-eq1ix]

WHAT???? Where is the fabric in the background? Hey...it's good to have you back no matter where you are....in every sense of the term. First of all, I was concerned about you but I blamed the move for the time away. Secondly, you are struggling....you think this won't ever happen again? That's what we're all going through. We're here for you. Sometimes just talking about it on the video is good for healing YOUR soul. And lastly, please practice self care. I bet this is one area you've been neglecting. WELCOME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Oh, you are SO right on so many fronts! The fabric is now residing in the basement (that got flooded, and I lost several bolts, wahhh!), and I’m trying really hard to take better care of myself…it’s a vicious cycle- we get down, then stop being healthy, then feel and look worse, then get done some more, and it’s so hard to break the cycle! Thanks for your continued support! I get as much out of the community as I’m putting in…probably even more! #widfam

[@louisegraham5863]

We find a balance

[@OneHappyWidow]

It’s always a balancing act I think. #widfam

[@louisegraham5863]

Ur only human, u know we greive 4ever n Gods way of brining us close 2 him... Their will be days, trigger points, u hav alot 2 deal with... children, movin is stressful greivin or not... 2 many problems at once... Make list of things n 1 day, 1 problem at a time, then do somethin nice 4 urself, n do somethin U like... This might work 4 u listen 2 louise hay, affirmations, I find I hav strength im happier, im headed 2 my goals... I changed my thinkin in my head n when I stay their 🌞Life is beautiful, hav moment's... Dont ever think ur not helpin people out their BC U R N Im 1 of them... 4 some people after 10yrs its still 1 hr at a times we're all different... Thanks 4 ur channel Listenin 2 ur channel makes me happy, O can relate... Look in the mirror n tell urself. U love urself n i deserve everything... Liv n prays 2 u Last 2 months gav been wicked 4 me...

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for your encouragement! #widfam

[@glynnyschiavoni8896]

One step forward, two steps back! Rats! Someone once told me, “When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and HANG ON!”❤️

[@OneHappyWidow]

Exactly! #widfam

[@ellen.maxton5000]

I am a new subscriber and have been watching your older videos in chronological order from the beginning until I can catch up to view your current videos in real time. Therefore I didn’t know there was such a big break between this video and your previous one. I can relate so much to the reasons (excuses) you cited for not getting back on track. Sometimes just life “stuff” and grief get so intertwined that it becomes overwhelming. There are so many things I need to get done, but grief (4 months out) gets in the way, or other things happen (like your house problems). I struggle to move forward. If I am not being too nosy or off topic, why did you move? I thought your previous house was the dream house you had built with your first husband”s “help” after he was gone? I miss seeing your fabrics! That being said, I can empathize with the stress of moving and finding out the “new” old house has problems to fix. Good luck! I’m sure you’ll be doing better in subsequent videos I haven’t watched yet. In any case, know that you’re a great support to me even when you’re down, because you’re so honest and relatable. Thank you!

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thank you so much for your support and feedback! The reason we moved is that I remarried and we lived in a subdivision with a very strict HOA and some asshole neighbors (sad but true) and we really wanted some land in the country and to have some farm animals. Honestly, if I could have transplanted my perfect house into the new property, I would have done so! But this new house is plenty big enough and I have a complete basement that I get to use for all my crafting and filming, so it’s an awesome trade-off. See my crafting channel on KZbin called Serial Crafting to see a tour of my crafting basement. And feel free to join our FB group for more support: www.Facebook.com/groups/onehappywidow

[@ellen.maxton5000]

Thank you for your response. I appreciate the time you take to read and respond to your viewers’ comments. Your situation is like mine - wish we could’ve moved our old house onto the larger country property we have now. (Oops, I still speak in the plural our/we). Fortunately did not have asshole neighbors to move away from, but my friend had to move because of hers. Sad. Look forward to binging some more on your old videos to catch up!

[@truelily7]

Leo, Thanks for sharing with us. I pick up that you seem to be a mainstream Christian and I respect all beliefs but may I suggest a wonderful book to you, The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. He suffered from severe depression for a lot of his life and then his whole life changed. I am am 69 and my husband has been gone six months after years of chronic illness. Read and find out Eckhart's story and teaching. God Bless you.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Thanks for watching. I am a Christian and confident in my faith- thank you for the suggestion for a book! #widfam

[@wrighty1a]

Hi my wife died suddenly march 2019 and i feel it's time to move forward but i have hit a brick wall because as i have a disabled daughter who lives with me. No one absolutely no one wants to know me because of it ( i understand why ) but do you have any tips to help me find someone who might be interested.

[@OneHappyWidow]

Have you tried the dating apps? Maybe just try to meet some folks there and don't mention your daughter at first. Sometimes if someone doesn't know you yet, it's easy to say something is a deal-breaker. But once they have already started to know you and like you, they might be more open-minded to accept things they wouldn't have considered before.

[@milliegrams5102]

May I ask why you call yourself the “One Happy Widow?”

[@Cindyscrossstitch]

She explains it in one of her previous videos

[@OneHappyWidow]

I am trying to give hope to widowed people that you can be happy again, even after loss! And I do explain it in much more detail in a previous video, feel free to check it out! It’s actually the first one I ever posted, I believe! #widfam

[@louisegraham5863]

Dont know if I'LL ever be me again but im tryin 🖒 THATS IT MOTIVATION I NEED A KICK.. IP SETTIN 2 STILL GET MAIL N SE THEIR NAME.. HOLIDAYS NOW N ITS HARD 3 MONTHS ONLY.. LOVE N PRAYS 2 U

[@OneHappyWidow]

Louise, join our FB group or sign up for my course that starts on Jan 1: www.onehappywidow.com/courses