i'm not crying... not again surely... | Ren "Hi Ren" Vocal Reaction/Analysis

[@rudyb.]

This performance by Ren caught me at my darkest time, I was grieving my wife’s death, arthritis inflamed body and depression. I listened to this song/performance and it gave me hope. I was at a dark place but went into Sunshine. I finally asked for help and received it. Now, it’s the “dance” that I going through.

[@RobMedellin]

Happy you are experiencing some sunshine! You got this!

[@willasacco9898]

I lost my wife 2 and 1/2 years ago. I was in a state of extreme grief, anxiety and depression. I could have used this.

[@thetalantonx]

🫂

[@nthnhbsn1909]

Sorry to hear about your loss, friend. I hope you are doing better now.

[@shellyann8818]

I'm sorry for your loss 💔 I am very happy you are doing better and getting help. I am happy you're here with us ❤🙏

[@amostrask1370]

Ren is the modern-day bard. And this is the ballad of the soul.

[@zebjohnson5580]

Funny you should say that Ren calls the genre of music he performs Bardcore

[@caprise-music6722]

@@zebjohnson5580 hahah brilliant

[@namelia4439]

Ballad of the soul…yes.

[@jvoxfox]

After the massive amount of requests for this... here we are... hope you guys enjoy the video and have tissues (or a therapist) on hand. This song is so authentically vulnerable and will speak to so many people who maybe have felt alone with their thoughts and experiences. Huge respect to REN for creating this and putting it out into the world.

[@NativeNYerChicHK]

Yes, the lyrics, but also the dank scene and flickering lights with his dark side and the music, the tune changes with each side, like opposite tones but the same type of rhythm, calm vs frantic . It’s a creative piece of performance art, a masterpiece. He calls is Bardcore and that is absolutely perfect. He is a modern day Bard, for sure.

[@andycopland3179]

What a great thing to say "I'm not sure I want to break down technique on this because I feel like the message is so much more powerful." I think that from a psychological perspective, "hope" is a universal truth and to have hope means you are in a shit situation. Hope is all in on a pair of 2's and we've all been there. So when a person sings of hope in an articulate and artistic expression, it's hits hard. Edit: Listen to "Violets Tale." Thats a peformance.

[@91GT347]

Your gonna make me cry too, aren’t you ? Lol Edit: Yes, yes you are. Lol Such a great song. That same place is what gets me too. The hope part. Right after he stands

[@Rob-bt3ev]

Fully agree with suggestion for Violets tale but definitely need to do the full trilogy with Jenny's Tale and Screeches Tale first

[@NativeNYerChicHK]

@@Rob-bt3ev YES! It’s a trilogy and must be done in that order and listened to all at once. That way you get the full effect and understanding how each relates to the next. Jenny, Screech and then Violet. And it’s all in one video titled “The Tale of Jenny & Screech”, Violets Tale is at the end of that video even though it’s not listed.

[@MyRook]

51 year old strong male here. I teared up the first few times I listened to this song. Even if you don't have a mental illness it still hits you deeply. We all struggle with that inner voice and it is a constant battle between good and evil. It's a master piece and will be known for decades as such.

[@ThornBoyz2207]

46m gets me everytime in the hope part when he starts signing

[@neilbrucker5985]

Never actually cried during a song. Have been moved and teary eyed but this one really brought me to tears. Fucking amazing.

[@WoodlandT]

I think one of the things that is not just powerful about this piece but also very useful and instructive is how virtually every person who has ever lived can relate to the struggle depicted. It shifts the framework through which we may view mental illness from a sort of external invader to an innately human aspect of self that has gotten out of hand. And that creates a pathway to empathy, which is essential

[@pirobot668beta]

It breaks my heart when his voice breaks: "No mate, this time it's different" @2:58 He desperately wants it to be true, but he's afraid just this is just another cycle, another trip through the Mill.

[@Zabiru-]

Yep. I'm Bipolar, I'll let you take a guess how relateable that particular line is. In the state I'm in at the moment it's mostly fine, but if I was teetering on the edge and moving towards a downward trending mental state that would easily cause me to break down crying. The back and forth of thinking you put it behind you and finding out that you're about to fall into the abyss again is hellish sometimes. Also related to the song, but this time about the end monologue - I've yet to always learn how to Dance. Medicated or not 😒

[@Wardr0p]

Like the man says.. its a pendulum..

[@Remrau]

@@Zabiru- Same here buddy. The dance is about acceptance for me. Accepting that there will always be difficult steps, all we can do is try to relax and get through them, learn from them and then enjoy the easier steps again. Even medicated, I'm not 100% none-fluctuating, but it sure has gotten a lot better since I found the meds that works for me. Instead of the deepest of black hole for month's sometimes years, I now just touch the edge of the abyss in the downs and usually only for 2-3 weeks. And the ups are not as intense, and not as long. The euthermia is pretty much the same. Short but blissful. I hope you find your way in the dance friend.

[@randymarsh9488]

For me it's the "I was made to be tested and twisted I was made to be broken and beat I was made by His hand, it's all part of His plan that I stand on my own two feet And you know me, my will is eternal And you know me, you've met me before Face to face with a beast, I will rise from the east and I'll settle on the ocean floor"

[@Remrau]

@@randymarsh9488 Personally I'm not religious, so that bit doesn't really speak to me. The bit is as beautiful however as everything else. Although, I can relate to the angry feeling I get when I consider that I just happened to be born with these biochemical imbalances, and when I was younger I screamed how unfair it was. But I also recognize the pride over still being here, and still trying my best at life.

[@AgentLynch616]

Deserves a Grammy for this performance. The good and the bad lives inside all of us because that’s what being human is

[@martinmusk2650]

I’ve watched this so many times now. So much to admire - but aside from the lyrical genius, the honesty, rawness and sheer musical talent…on top of all that…you are right the way he brings all of this to life in his expressiveness is awesome. He is living it not just singing it. Amazing stuff Ren. All power to you

[@MMacAttack]

The awards go to songs about degenerate garbage . Genius like HI REN gets no recognition @ awards time

[@VampyNatural]

I don't know what it is about this song, but i NEED to watch everyone's reactions to it.

[@AndaraBledin]

We can only watch this song for the first time once... and so we recapture that, vicariously, by watching other people discover its beauty.

[@amazonwarlord]

There is a Neurologist that react to it!

[@terrillcovey2652]

I have the same problem.

[@citizen1717]

@@AndaraBledin possibly. I feel as though I’m searching for a reaction that has not come yet. Like a catharsis that hides in the fringes of memory at the edge of epiphany. Likely it is time to take Ren’s advice. Relax.

[@2afreedom60]

Me too. Lol. My son sent it to me a few days ago. Im more Tyson James, Tom Macdonald NF Measus Burden. Actually thought I was ahead on music. LOL. This slipped under my radar.

[@twistedpixel756]

Hearing you say "this time i'm more prepared" was the most "famous last words" i've ever heard.

[@masterv2041]

"loosen the noose on the rope" is the line that gets me every time. I've listened to this song probably 100+ times. I've taken someone down from one and remember it every time.

[@Mocorn]

I agree, "the voice that you hear when you loosen the noose on the rope". What is that voice? What does it say? Its so incredibly powerful that it's hard to even put into words. That line took me down a mental journey that took me over a day to get back up from. Incredible!

[@bhudzietz333]

Same, I can't watch this and not cry when he gets to that part.

[@CW1971]

Same. The whole bit when he stands up and starts singing, it just hits me hard. I hope Ren is finding the help he needs in Canada 🤞 Be well Ren

[@CabinFever52]

I kind of understand. I was the first one on the scene of a head-on collision and what really sticks with me is seeing a woman's hand sticking up from where the driver's seat was, compressed between the dash and the car seat and there is this little girl, about 9 or 10 yrs old,---the only survivor telling me she can't get a pulse on her mother. How does she even know about a pulse? She was just this little girl. That was 30 years ago and it still sticks with me.

[@terrillcovey2652]

That, and the power & emotion behind, "So cower at the man I've become!"

[@dalemurray1318]

This is Jungian Psychotherapy in a song. You don't kill the shadow, you incorporate it, it has qualities that you need to be complete. The last Hoo Hoo Hoo chorus demonstrates what the shadow can bring to your "song"

[@olivart8012]

i hadn't thought about it until i read this, but absolutely. being painfully aware of your shadow and accepting its part in your mind is life-altering. it does feel like a representation of that consolidation.

[@sethleon2158]

His takeaway is mostly pure taoism -- relax, be softer, you cannot negate the negative for the sake of the positive -- know the yang but cleave to the yin (learn to dance in that flow), embrace the actual world, be human.

[@gSWG3R]

No, it's not.

[@JosephEasy118]

Just to add to this, the way the lights flicker when dark ren is talking throughout signifies a sort of instability separate from chill ren, and then the last "hoo ho hoo" section after chill ren had fought back with confidence the lights flicker again and to me that signifies his incorporation of the shadow into his more positive self.

[@vinchinzo594]

@@gSWG3R Yes, it is.

[@bethanyr6951]

I'm a multiple attempt survivor, and I think this song sums up the struggle pretty well. I really appreciate Ren for giving a voice to what many people can't understand.

[@consentofthegoverned5145]

Please never stop dancing- Hear his voice when you think of the rope. His name is Hope.

[@ashleysmith91]

I completely understand your comment. When I was standing on the edge of the roof top apartment complex looking at the ground, the voices in your head telling you all the negative things that made me want to step off. I sought professional help and it saved my life. This song describes everything I was thinking at the time.

[@stephenwatkins5269]

For me it is not that people cannot understand, it is that I cannot find a way to articulate what my internal struggles. I have had a pistol in my mouth and I have never been able to explain what brought me to that point without writing it to myself. That was over 25 years ago and to this day I still cannot put it into spoken words.

[@RainbowHomo]

For me it was pretty interesting because I am one of the about 20%? who don't have an inner speech/monologe. Made me understand better how most of people work.

[@stambo1983]

Hey Bethany, hope you're doing well.

[@genstonewall]

First time I listened to this I cried.. like ugly cried. I’ve listened to the song and reactions to it hundreds of times (I’ve lost count) and I always tear up. I love that he ends the song with hope; not “I’m all better now”, but there is hope if you learn balance. Learn there is darkness in all humanity and how to relax in order to dance with it and let it go. It’s really a masterpiece and packed with meaning, nuance, emotion and elements conveying so many parts of the whole experience of mental illness issues. Thank you for your reaction to this and sharing your thoughts. Be safe and blessings to you and yours.

[@Donetravlin]

I don't recommend dancing with it you dancing around it and don't try too hard to shine your light to kill it because it will just darken what happens in the shadow.... Immortal Techniques Dancing with the Devil can teach you this.

[@chasparos62]

This is hands down the most significant piece of art I’ve experienced in my life. When I first listened to it it made me cry. Then I’ve seen every reaction I could find and seeing others react in the same profound way I did makes me feel even more validated in my own struggles. Thank you Julia, and thank you Ren.

[@Amitabha108]

A lot of young people had that reaction in the early 90s with Kurt Cobain and Nirvana. It was dark, off-putting, raw, challenging, self-examination kind of music. After a decade of vapid hip-to-be-square "ra-ra" music, it was like "My God, someone's finally talking Truth about life." Of course, there were older, and more fringe works around that had that vibe, but to the mass mainstream culture, it was their first taste.

[@gryphon0468]

We are all human beings my man.

[@lisaabel5524]

I had to call in sick to work because I couldn’t function after hearing it for the first time. I was overwhelmed. Since then, I’ve listened to it many many times and his other stuff too. I too have never experienced any piece of art like this. Might be especially hard hitting because I have two brothers with serious mental health issues-who also happen to be huge music fans. Music heals.

[@gryphon0468]

@@lisaabel5524 I’m guessing you sent this to them straight away?

[@EbonySerpent999]

You and me both, pal.

[@ozmaniac33]

This is my first reaction video of yours I have watched, as I work through a long list of Hi Ren reaction videos. I like your method of letting the video play predominantly uninterrupted and simply adding thoughts in text form. I feel too many reaction video folks like the sound of their own voice too much, constantly interrupting the video they are watching and repeating or rewinding sections. It shows more respect to the artist to watch the video almost in entirety, and then give a breakdown of your thoughts. Good job!

[@iamalphalim]

Ikr? Much respect to her Earned a sub!

[@zachhenderson7982]

You really need to watch Ren -"chalk outlines" (live), and "how to be me"(live), both ft. Chinchilla. They really show their voices in those songs

[@arc6017]

"Chalk Outlines" live for sure!!!

[@cyclonemouse]

Also Crutch ft bibi if you want desperatly, scarringly, vulnerable.

[@Ishgrath]

@@arc6017 Seconded! The chills the first time you listen is uncanny

[@zack_ew]

Saw this comment and got really confused, thought I didn’t make this comment 😂😂

[@magnanimous1]

Chalk outlines (live) brings me to tears Every. Single. Time. It’s beautiful

[@dougdame6706]

I don't understand how you can be so articulate and emphatetic to this, on your first hearing. That is almost as impressive as Ren's performance. Thanks. Powerful stuff.

[@tyroneevans3202]

This song has been the catalyst in creating the most real reactions by all reactors in my opinion. It sucks you in, washes, rinses and repeats throughout the song/experience. Well done.

[@TheKevgray1]

The common denominator of reaction videos of Hi Ren is the relatability of the performance. We all have that doubting voice. And the to and fro between it and our Yang to its Yin is constant when we're disturbed. The hope section is beautiful. I love your reaction, it's different to others but it's the same, it's visceral, it's emotional, and it's human. "And we must not forget that we are human beings" . X

[@BrandonWestfall]

The thing that gets me is that his acting, writing, singing, etc are all equally amazing. He's the whole damn package.

[@TheBigburcie]

It's essentially a short theatrical performance. The writing wouldn't work without the performance and vice versa. It might be hard to do a performance like this if it wasn't also his own story.

[@stevenmeyer9674]

@@TheBigburcie there was already a cover done that I viewed on KZbin. it was very well done , but as you suggest very creepy and had a ring of not having any relevance. To go a bit farther I don't think Ren will perform this in public as it would come off a bit like exploiting his own problems for entertainment sake. Does that make any sense?

[@feedigli]

@@stevenmeyer9674 It makes a lot of sense that he wouldn't do it as a regular item on the playlist, although I could see him doing a variation on occasion. But to the point made at the head of this thread, the more one sees of Ren's work, the more one realizes he's probably a once-in-a-generation talent. The way he - and his team - use all the current mass performance styles and media and modalities - like rap, writing, singing and vocalizing, videography, sets/settings, acting, the art of the band The Big Push...to me it could turn out to be as impactful as Jimi was on the scene in his day.

[@andrewcarpenter3148]

​@steven meyer I know Ren *has* performed this live--I saw a brief snippet of him doing it at Koko in Camden Town towards the end of last year, though I forget where I saw it--but I tend to agree that it needs the full A/V context to "work" properly.

[@piedpiperpianos438]

Poetry - theatre - cinema - story-telling - visual art - philosophy - and virtuoso guitar and singing. And yeah - he created the whole thing! AND communication. This is exactly what our artists should be

[@wolfhawk1999]

"Some people know me as hope Some people know me as the voice that you hear When you loosen the noose on the rope" That line breaks me every time, because I know that exact feeling and voice. That moment where you step down and decide not to. I hadn't really connected the two in the way he does, and it's so beautiful.

[@BigHomieSteveTheMetalHead]

That line hits me like a freight train every time I hear it, I believe it's the most impactful line in the world song imo. I'm a disabled person who has lived with an autoimmune illness called Systemic Scleroderma since I was 17yo along with a lot of other traumatic events in my life, the worst of which was losing my mom in January of 2018. After losing my mom, I was forced to live with family who I never really got along with, it was an ab*sive environment and I was a broken man on the verge of deleting myself by the time I finally my own place. I've dealt with depression and anxiety since my teens due to my illness and everything else I've been through, I've contemplated deleting myself on several occasions and thankfully I've never followed through with it. Stories like mine are why "Hi Ren" is blowing up right now, this is one of the most impactful pieces of art I've ever heard in my entire life!

[@wolfhawk1999]

@@BigHomieSteveTheMetalHead I'm glad you didn't delete and thanks for sharing your story. And yeah, there is something deeply human about this song that is touching a lot of people

[@strangeexchange1]

I feel you there iv been slow close sometimes but the thought of my son and wierdly my dog stopped me..that line hits me hard but i love it

[@spartacus9023]

I know that line more than you could ever believe... That "voice" is so comforting and crushing to hear - its either the end or a beginning of an existence. This kid is going ro be ficking great!

[@aarowbach8711]

we know

[@marktaylor1799]

Ren has an uncanny ability to communicate to all of us what he feels in ways that are relatable and demand introspection. Although I have no musical talent he has a way of helping me to invision what it must be like for people who hear music in every thought, sound and sight, especially when I listen to experts like you and the Fairy Voice Mother who have the ability to explain why music affects our emotions. I think you will also enjoy watching Ren and Chinchilla perrform together in "Chalk Outlines" and especially in" How to be me "

[@stephenlackey5852]

“Music in every thought, sound, and sight” Boy, does that resonate… I am an artist with autism and ADHD, and all the world to me seems the web of an elusive spider ill-versed in the efficiency of geometry… all things interconnected generating limitless comparison by group but therefore also meaningless in the ubiquity… and I cannot *find* the spider for the most obvious reason.

[@QE-mf6gd]

Your written breakdown during the first half of the song for a common non musically taught person is so helpful. Thank you for being open and so connected with your audience. Much love.

[@FaintlyTapping]

I’ve completed 70 solar orbits and I haven’t seen an artist burst onto the scene with so much creatively artistic power since Bob Dylan. As an aging musician, I still draw inspiration from young artists like Ren and it gives me hope for future generations. ❤😊

[@jakeq3530]

OMG finally somebody gets it right! I subbed instantly! The format you use where you put your thoughts in text instead of pausing every few moments is brilliant. So much more enjoyable to absorb imo. Cheers

[@JensRandolff]

Thank you for your genuine, heartfelt reaction. “Hi Ren" is the song that put Ren on everyone's radar since December; it went viral and has garnered more than 6 million views since its debut, but he has been creating great music for more than ten years. Ren’s music videos are generally recorded live, often in a single take, although not necessarily the first take, and from various camera angles. His release, "Sick Boi," is almost another chapter to "Hi Ren." Many of Ren’s songs resonate with people because he addresses struggles that many others face every day. Ren plays multiple instruments (acoustic, electric, and bass guitar, piano, drums), has impressive vocals, is an excellent storyteller, and is quite the philosopher and poet. He is considered by many a modern bard; he calls his music “bardcore.” Ren’s earliest recordings on KZbin are from his time in a band called “Trick The Fox,” consisting of Ren and his buddies Charlie and Tommy. Unfortunately, the band performed only briefly due to Ren’s onset of health issues. They are very talented. A fun clip to watch is “The Mash Up.” Ren’s trilogy "The Tale of Jenny/Screech/Violet" has been likened to a Shakespearean tragedy and is a prime example of his genius; it is a master’s class in storytelling and also showcases his guitar skills. The three acts are haunting, and the conclusion will catch you off guard. The trilogy needs to be watched in the order given, as this is the flow of the storyline and is best watched as a whole rather than piecemeal. Ren’s collaborations with Chinchilla (“Chalk Outlines,” “How to Be Me,” “Sexual Healing,” “One Dance/Drunk in Love”) are beautiful and showcase his singing voice. His live music videos are especially impressive. Ren's personal reflections are threaded through many of his songs; "Insomnia," "Depression," “Diazepam," “Penitence,” “Dear God,” “Heretic,” “Dominos,” his "Freckled Angels" album, just to name a few, all deserve a listen. His song "Money Game" (Part I & II) is another recommendation, although it is less of a personal song than it is an indictment of greed and the resulting injustices in this world. Ren’s Hip Hop/Rap style songs are all worth checking out if you enjoy this genre; they are pretty amazing. Check out “The Hunger,” “Genesis,” “What You Want,” “Losing it (FISHER rap retake),” “Right here, right now (Fatboy Slim one shot retake),” "Life is Funny," “Love Music (Parts 1, 2, and 3),” “Crucify Your Culture,” “Power,” and his latest release, “Bittersweet symphony (The Verve retake).” As I recently discovered, Ren also recorded a cover of “Can't Help Falling In Love (Elvis Cover),” that is simply beautiful. Then there are his performances with Sam Tompkins (“Blind Eyed,” “Earned it /Mans World / Falling,” “Walking on the moon/No Diggity”), Eden Nash (“Humble,” “Ocean”), Bibi (“Crutch,” “Ahiahiaoha”), Molly McKinna (“Penitence”), his former bandmate, Romain Axisa (“French Song”), which are all great. "The Big Push" busking sessions, concerts, and live recordings all are awesome and well worth checking out. Their covers of "I Shot the Sheriff/Road to Zion/Hip Hop," "Wade in the Water/Nina Simone/Trouble so Hard," "An Englishman in New York," “Bongo Bong,” “War Pigs,” the songs "Oh My Woman," “Swan Song,” “Sweet Little Lady," "It's Alright," "Watch Out," “Dignity,” and so many others are equally impressive. In anticipation of his stay in Canada for more treatments, Ren prepared some music ahead of time to be released over the next six months that he expects to be gone. He released “Sick Boi” and “Bittersweet Symphony (The Verve retake),” which is another masterful work. Ren has hinted that he might release his newest song on March 29, which is his birthday.

[@VampyNatural]

There you are

[@crunchydragontreats6692]

As always. Consistent. Persistent. The Army of Ren marches through. Grab your ketchup and crunch away my friends.

[@lisaabel5524]

Thanks for the rundown of songs as I’m still exploring. Deeply impactful.

[@brianjay9811]

When you look at most jewels, they appear beautiful enough, but when you see an exquisitely fashioned diamond, with all of its numerous glistening facets, you can become awestruck. This song is a diamond. It transcends most beautiful tunes with its message for all who suffer. This work is a gift of hope and life to others in pain, and I am grateful to artists like Ren Erin Gill...

[@startingfingerstyle]

Julia, I've never seen your reactions before. Especially appreciated the written notes as we went along, allowing the performance to play out with minimal interruptions. Those combined with watching your face told me that you felt every emotion I did when I first came across this masterpiece. The monologue at the end, is autobiographical. He was ill from 17 for about a decade with undiagnosed Lyme disease. The psychosis was part of the symptoms. Finally, he's getting some treatment in Canada, and hopefully can be restored to health. At one point you mentioned this was like a whole story....... and so, from here you really MUST go to Jenny & Screech, a trilogy telling one story complete, and what a story. The ending will surprise and shock. It's a piece of art. From there, you can find some of his more mainstream stuff, leading the busking band The Big Push. These street performances are excellent vocally and musically. Many have described the Ren rabbit hole, and few have ever wished to escape from it!

[@danieldoble669]

Loved your reaction. "Hi Ren" has changed my life. No lie. "Learned to Relax and Soften." Thanks for your transparency, Julia.

[@raintech3253]

While i can 100% agree with everyone elses song suggestions so far, a different songs from Ren i also want to suggest "The Tale Of Jenny and Screetch". It is a 13+ minutes 3 parter. It further highlights Rens guitar skills and incredible storytelling abilities (Tissues recommended)

[@Asperibra]

This one is a wild wild journey for sure

[@greggreene]

Ren is a master of storytelling but he is also very good in every genre you must dive deeper into him to appreciate his many talents i have broke into tears many times but in a good way

[@LionheartSJZ]

I'll definitely second that!

[@flakedwheelie]

This one is a must.

[@lucidchaoscreationsuk]

💯

[@NexusofLight777]

wow Julia....thank you for being so real and vulnerable like that. That's a really scary but honorable thing to accomplish and I applaud you and as for Ren....well let's just say he's a modern day Bard on a mission of hope and integrity in the face of adversity. I too bawled like a baby when I first watched this and I still do at times but for different reasons now.

[@anascoburn]

Like so many others, I found myself deeply moved when first I heard this perhaps a month ago. Since then, I have listened to it dozens of times as I watched others react. It still moves me every time, but how I've been moved has changed as I have taken in other reactions, and comments, as well as the piece itself. People whose musical preferences vary wildly respond to it, and people from strikingly disparate demographic backgrounds. The battle between two sides of ourselves seems to be archetypal. And Ren's resolution of this battle is profound: to relax, to soften, to learn how to dance. I very much appreciate your reaction -- another human with a substantial analytic faculty struggling to stay in that role even as their emotions surge during Ren's performance. I appreciate your articulation of musical and vocal technique Ren uses to connect, and to communicate. There's a filmmaker who has reacted to 'Hi Ren" and comments on visual aspects of the work. There are reactions by psychotherapists, by a neurologist, by a psychiatric nurse, by a professor of literature. Just as 'Hi Ren' is powerful not only because of lyrical content -- but by all the ways his use of his voice, of his guitar, of his rapid seamless switches between characters with their own postures and tones, of the lighting and the camerawork to reinforce the communication taking place -- so do the various reactors reinforce his message as "Hi Ren" elicits layered and nuanced responses from them. After I first heard 'Hi Ren,' I was loathe to watch other work Ren has available, because I thought it was bound to be a let-down and I wanted to protect the purity of my initial response. However, as the weeks have passed, I've fallen down "the rabbit-hole" of Ren's solo work, his duets with Chinchilla and with Sam Tompkin, and busking performances with a band called 'The Big Push." My respect has only grown for the talent of the artist and for the courage with which he displays his vulnerability -- and for the reactors whose own vulnerability, authenticity, and expertise he seems to elicit. It is beautiful.

[@McLeod2022]

Julia - thank you for all you do. It is really important, and my days are kindly better for the work you give us. [edited for grammar noise]

[@Imurai]

I'm so glad all of my fav reactors did this. I love this so much. Ren, his music, his message, people's reaction to it... This guy's blowing up on youtube and rightfully so.

[@Caketime2]

The number one thing I love about the song is after watching hundreds of reactions every single person is able to make it match their life somehow. And everybody has a different take from it but that's the power of it and how genius the song is

[@darkchocolate4643]

I was wondering when you were going to get around to this one... FINALLY! ;) I've watched his video of this song probably about a hundred times now, and I still tear up when he talks about the voice that you hear "when you loosen the noose on the rope".

[@thetalantonx]

5:55 - Yes, that, exactly! I am so glad you've reacted to this artistic experience. It takes a lot to be able to appreciate it fully, thank you for opening up and sharing.

[@Fenthule]

Oh WOW, I hope Ren watches this one. He's known for watching reactions to this song, and your analysis of it at the end is incredibly well articulated and complete in it's scope. I've watched A LOT of these reactions, and I've watched a good chunk of your videos because being an amateur, self taught vocalist, you are incredibly insightful. This completely blew my mind and far surpassed any expectation. Both vocally breaking down the physicality used he uses, but especially on the bits about mental health. As a sufferer of BPD2 and CPTSD you absolutely nailed it, and put some things into words that I've never been able to explain. Amazing job.

[@MikeyPea72]

What Ren has achieved is to facilitate many thousands of people to talk about mental issues they or their family/friends have experienced, because of this "you are not alone" has become a reality, not a cliche. He has also contributed to the understanding of mental issues amongst those who have not suffered and brought together all generations, genders, faiths, professions & nationalities.Mental health knows no boundaries and neither do those who have reacted & responded to Ren's art. Thank you for your honest and informed reaction.

[@TheFlagnard2]

This is a masterpiece of modern art. I have struggled with mental health my entire life. Although it has mostly manifested itself in depression, I have the genetic pre-disposition for schizophrenia, bi-polar, and multiple personality disorder. These things loom over me constantly, a constant reminder that even if my depression gets better, there's something much worse that could await me in the future. As an ex-vangelical...someone who grew up in the church, and as someone who has struggled with mental health, I deeply relate to the dichotomy of self represented in this video. "The pendulum between good and evil" (paraphrase). I have broken away from the religion of my parents and now as an adult, I am realizing that mental health and religion are intertwined. I will always be fighting a battle within my mind and it's art like this that makes me not feel alone.

[@randymarsh9488]

Yes you did my request!!I love you Julia!!! ♥️♥️♥️

[@JayBee-JB69]

Ren had described his music as 'bardcore'. As you said, this was not really a song, but a play of sorts. Every time I hear this, I get choked up. The thing is that I've been listening to it at least once every day for the past few weeks. I love how the intensity keeps increasing throughout the performance. IMHO, it ends with an exclamation point. The best part is when he referred to this back and forth as a pendulum, and it is like an eternal dance. No matter how bad things seem to get, it will get better if we are persistent. Never give up hope.

[@oduinn7948]

For some reason "Stańczyk" or "The Sad Clown" always comes to mind with this performance.

[@MichaelGalok]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and your own vulnerability. I've been battling depression and anxiety for 15 years. It is a dance and it is terrifying to focus on the possibility of having to maintain that dance for the rest of your life. No matter how bad it gets though, the Hope that i hear in my own head reminds me that it is temporary. That's when i see the light at the end of the tunnel, the start of daybreak after the darkest night. In the last six months, I've lost two friends to the darkness. I had no idea either one of them were struggling. Sometimes I feel like if I had been more open about my own struggles, maybe one or both of them would have been able to open up to me and we would have been able to help each other. I am grateful for artists like Ren and creators like you who are strong enough to let others in to see part of your own struggle to help others know that they are not alone.

[@ShaneSmith-uy3tg]

Sometimes you come across a piece of art that doesn't need too be overly analyzed and that's ok. Sometimes we just need to sit back and watch and do our best to help this artist spread his message to the world. Anyone struggling with mental illness should see this. This is the type of artistic expression that could save lives.

[@bashab3098]

I’m having a Ren reaction night . For me you have absolutely nailed it . ❤ one of the best I’ve seen in termes of what this piece of art means to me

[@bjornengel1481]

The song hits you like a hammer, because if you've ever had experiences and problems with it, you know exactly what he's talking about and can relate and understand a lot. This piece of art will appeal to many, just as it did to me, it will help many to identify with it and hopefully also to draw strength from it. Mega brave and strong to make a song like this and share personal experiences in this way. I could write and say endless things about this song, but that would go beyond the scope here. Thank you for your wonderful, warm and open reaction

[@freddyhochauf9489]

Thank you so much for this beautiful reaction! 🙏💖 I like when analytical brain goes into the toilet.😁😅 Im not here for technical analyses in the first place even tho you might be very good at that...but Im watching reactions to Hi Ren because I love to see how people are touched by it, how they...and you did it more than many others which I genuinly loved.....show themselfs and their feelings...to show what makes us all human beings. We are not alone. And I liked how your analytical brain sneeked in while being so touched by it and described what you said.

[@Sabrina-wz9ko]

Most of us ugly cried hearing it for the first time. Most of us didn't have a camera staring at us thankfully. But don't worry, you still looked gorgeous as always! 💜 Really hope you go down the Ren rabbit hole. There are a few more really hard hitting videos that are brilliant, but he also has some fun and uplifting ones. For pure singing, highly recommend Chalk Outlines, How to be me, and any of his live busking videos with Sam or The Big Push.

[@foxinasweater2300]

You earned a sub from me because you let the artist play out the way they intended. I hate when reactions stop songs every 5 seconds destroying the rhythm and tension. The way you add tidbits and perspective in text is clever and I really appreciate it.

[@jyesucevitz]

I think to avoid copyright issues the reactor has to pause or talk over portions. I'm not a KZbinr. it's just what I've heard some say in response to people in the comments complaining about someone stopping to react in a reaction video.

[@patrickcarlin9477]

My opinion, obviously, but if you want the original video without interruptions then watch just that. These are a different animal. I want feedback. And saving all your thoughts for the end can cause one to forget maybe all the things they want to say. Reaction videos need this input

[@jayhop]

​@@patrickcarlin9477i will never understand people who watch reactions but get mad when they react

[@MacBlackCat]

@@jyesucevitz If the uploader doesnt have the copyrights lifted up then yes, they have to pause every so often. But uploaders can contact the copyright holders to lift it for their video. Most reactors with proper reactions (read: added value) get those permissions.

[@PerpetualSmile]

@@jayhop I think their point is when the reactor pauses the video is breaks the flow for the reactor themselves, not really the people watching. Can you really have an honest reaction to a song when you stop it every 5 seconds? I understand why they do, and I don't mind really, but if someone has never listened to a song, it's best to listen to it all the way through to understand how it's meant to flow and sound.

[@petergoddard1960]

Whew, yes that was a reaction, and one of the most honest and real that I have seen to this incredible piece of art. We all need to look after each other way better than we typically do. So a massive hug to anyone who is reading this and needs one right now, not least Ren himself who has been going through the mill in treatment in Canada this last month.

[@BrianAustin-rm1ef]

Julia, thank you for this reaction. I saw this extraordinary work a few weeks ago, and it affected me more deeply than any piece of work I can remember. It was as if this young man reached into my soul and exposed all of the pain and grief I have accumulated in my life. I’m a middle aged father of 3, and I was bawling by the end. I spent the next few weeks processing what I experienced, and it has changed me in ways I don’t yet fully understand. I didn’t watch anything else (aside from reaction videos to this piece of art) during this time. I wanted to stay in the moment and really examine why this work hit me so deeply, and didn’t want to break the spell, if that makes sense. I finally had the capacity to watch another Ren piece, and chose “Chalk Outlines” (the live version like this was). I don’t say this lightly, but it hit me equally as hard, if in a different way. Even if you don’t react to it, I urge you to watch it on your own. It is shockingly powerful. I feel like we are witnessing something special right now. The vulnerability that these artists, and reactors like yourself, put out there allow us to find our own vulnerability. It is allowing for the human connection that we are desperate for right now, and has the power to change lives. I thank you from bottom of my heart for this wonderful channel. What you are doing matters.

[@toolfankrk]

Ren hits everybody he is a one of a kind. But you have to know there`s a funny side of Ren as well. Enjoy the ride with Ren and his band Big push.

[@PropGuru702]

I also highly recommend his younger material with the group "trick the fox"

[@mattmid7012]

Even here in this song you get glimpses of his humour, with the Eminem, Plan B retorts and the creative process bit too.

[@xxpoisonblxx]

@@mattmid7012 Yeah, taking a step back, those are *amazingly* good retorts to *himself* making this song. But... in context, they are just *savage* too. The fact that he can play both layers with that... is just...

[@stevenmeyer9674]

@@mattmid7012 And how dark Ren trolled Ren with that "Sea shell" nursery rhyme taken form an earlier piece "money Game Pt 2"

[@lizzyfletcher3175]

This is a piece of genius art to me. I have watched reactions to this video I would say at least 100, because I want to see if other feel like me. Btw I have cried every time including this time. He has helped me cope being chronically ill and having mental illness because of so many elements in my life. His music has gotten me through some really dark times the past 3 or more months. I loved your reaction because I could see that it set in that he was telling you I feel like this too and he used his face, voice, rap and guitar! ONE MAN DID THAT! My opinion he can’t be compared to anyone once you hear more music from him. He can do anything! I mean anything! You have to be prepared for Ren, he’s got a huge following right now and having so many things he can do, this is a rabbit hole you want to go down I promise you!! Please come enjoy the ride!

[@Ansemite]

Heard this probably a hundred times now and I still find new little meanings in everything from lyrics to cadence to cinematography. It's art, pure and simple. I survived and learned how to dance my dance, at least for now. I'm not alone, you are not alone. We are not alone.

[@liontamer8961]

We are all human beings

[@Sparkie075]

I've never seen you before. Thank you for your very raw, heartfelt expression. It was very open with an element of vulnerability, or as you worded it, intimate. Just like his speech at the end of his bard like song.

[@mikeynma]

The trifecta is complete! Elizabeth, lolli and now julia! I think this may be my 100th reactor video om this song and it never gets old. Great breakdown as usual julia and a true human reaction to it.

[@KarlKarperPerry]

Hi there, I have recently lost a friend who took his life due to mental health. I have never heard of this guy but wow he captures the fight people have with mental health issues. Really amazing lyrics and a powerful message. After loosing my friend I now work with people who suffer from these issues and to be honest it breaks my heart to see them but at the same time really rewarding. Dave my mate suffered terribly and now I know he is at peace. I want to thank you sooooolk much for playing this and the Linkin Park vid as mental health really needs more exposure and funding. I do love what you do on this channel and my late mate did to, so keep going. We love you loads and again thank you. Karl x

[@grimmliberty7447]

Finally. LOL I have been waiting for you to react to this one specifically. Spoiler, watch for his power move towards the end, singing, playing, and a leg lift and shake. I can't believe how grounded he is in his own style.

[@rogerstarkey5390]

The celebration of understanding, while realising the facets are all still there? . "The dance got easier".......?

[@grimmliberty7447]

@@rogerstarkey5390 it's a lot more than that. When you play and sing, it takes stability to get the desired results, most people can't play and dance around, and certainly most people can't sing and dance, combine them both and you have to REALLY have some chops to pull it off. This isn't the only time I've seen him do it. That was my point.

[@tlg22073]

I have watched the Hi Ren video as a stand alone at least 20 times and the reactions...easily close to a hundred times. It doesn't matter how many times I hear it, I am, to this very moment, in exactly the same state you find engulfing you right now. Ren saves my life every single day and he doesn't even know me. I have found hope and excitement in his music and have learned to ease up on myself... something I never thought possible.

[@nathandts3401]

The personal advice I take from this song is in that dance metaphor in the ending monologue. The more you resist, the more you frustrate yourself about your inability to change things. I can let a lot roll off my back, but one of my biggest issues is a cycle of trying to find answers to something I don't have answers to. I'm now actively trying to avoid overthinking my problems. It's not something I can do for societal issues that depress me because it feels too much like apathy, but actively staying out of my head is very helpful for more personal mental issues.

[@Amitabha108]

Try somatic and nonverbal therapy. It does not require mental/verbal articulation to heal your nervous system and the old wounds carried deep in your tissues. Often, that is a great way to begin to get a base line, and to be able to climb out of the old grooves in the record of inner torment. ~Peace~

[@nathandts3401]

@@Amitabha108 Diazepam was what I used after some bad news hit. Now I'm doing okay just thinking about other things. Appreciate the suggestions, though.

[@MikeLyons2011]

"That which you resist persists."

[@MrKrizic]

​@@nathandts3401 Ren made a song called Diazepam! It's one of my favorites!

[@jackfoster78]

Thanks for this video, I've watched many different reactions to Hi Ren - he seems to have touched half the world with this song! Yours was by far the most honest and visceral response I've seen - he's put himself and his demons out there for everyone's benefit, the least we can do is try do the same!

[@hendrikmendezcegarra2977]

Wow. Excellent analysis with a lot of feeling and reality of what we have just seen in this video. A human being who speaks of his reality through music. And you Julia explained it in a very professional but above all human way. Thank you julia! Greetings from Venezuela.

[@BeastMode7175]

Best breakdown I have heard. Great insight. Thank you and keep on posting. Love you.

[@moustachiomousmousmoosedem6625]

I must have watched more than 250 reactions to Rens art now. This was definitely one of my favourites, not only for the wide scope of the analysis, but for the same reasons his work resonates so strongly with me. Sincerity, openess and empathy are remarkably important traits in human beings and you display all of them here. Thank you so much for allowing others to experience this with you, and have further reminders that although we all walk different dark paths others walk them too and we are not truly alone even when it seems we are. Liked and subscribed, and looking forward to both more analysis of Hi Ren and his other work but also to look through your other videos.

[@rogerstarkey5390]

There seems to be more than a few of us expressing the same sentiment? . Julia recounted a good 80-90% of the "intricacies" with one viewing. Impressive.

[@sphericalintegration]

Just yesterday I searched KZbin for “Julia Nilon Hi Ren” and came up blank. I was so happy to see you had done this today. Thank you for your heartfelt reaction and insights. Now I can say all my favorite reactors have done this video. ❤

[@Amitabha108]

Ren is right. This is not original. It is unusual and more fringe, but not the first time something like this has been done, lyrically or musically. But... it is true, and real, and still his story. It resonates for people. It inspires people. There is nothing wrong with bringing a fresh take to an old song/story/feeling. It is completely relevant and worthy of praise. This is art, and life, and is beautiful. Ren, you are beautiful, brave, and absolutely lovable. Thank you for sharing your gifts and for not giving up.

[@musicfreakmc2603]

I respect you analysis on Ren. Watched a lot of reactions on this video. Made a lot of them cry. Appreciate your doing this one. It's a heavy song. Love your reactions. Much love Julia. Keep up the good work 🤗

[@ratfatz]

For me this is a new Level of Music. Its Art and pure Emotion. Never been there, a new category. Great reaction ,

[@SoZen08]

What a beautiful reaction. I've watched a lot of them after I first discovered Ren (Hi, Ren). I so appreciate how you let it penetrate your heart and soul. (Also, it's completely normal that your analytical brain could not function! The emotional power of this song reaches us beyond our analytical brain and that's a good thing, I think!

[@stevengeller829]

What a beautiful reaction and response. ❤ You can really see how moving the content was for you and how much you care about your community. Enjoy your Ren journey. It’s heavy, it’s light, it’s never the same twice. Everyone will be telling you Ren’s story, the Story of The Big Push (band)… etc. I’m a world of the overly produced, here is someone raw and also unashamed to share like an open book in his songs. Also, thanks for not being ashamed to cry or be moved. Every time I think I’m done crying, when someone reacting cries to these songs, I do. It’s healthy.

[@padders1068]

Julia! Thank you for sharing your reaction to this, for being so honest and for not being afraid to show your emotions. It kicked me as hard when I first listened to it, and it still kicks me just as hard whenever I listen to it again. I hope you're doing OK! Take care! ❤

[@StephenMooreOfficial]

I've struggled with mental health issues since my teens. I'm almost 36 now and it has been and always will be a daily struggle... Also, as a musician i can definitely relate to his doubts about his music and his legacy he'll leave behind and doing something worthwhile with his life and have people remember him once he's gone.. His bit about "the brighter the light shown the darker the shadow it cast" is very true. One day you feel great like you can take on the world and then the next day you dont even have the will to get out of bed... I feel like most people can relate to this song. Everyone has the internal battle with oneself. The eternal never ending dance inside your head. And if you say you don't, then you're in denial... I had never heard of this artist until now but I've looked him up and will be listening to more of his stuff. We need more artists that address the issue of mental health. The whole reason behind music is to make one feel emotion and change moods. Music in itself is inherently directly linked with mental health... I've been listening to this song on repeat for the past 30 minutes whole writing this comment. For anyone struggling with mental health issues, don't give up. on the days when you feel the world is against you, remember that It's not a bad life... just a bad day. And things will get better.

[@joelmalcolm2850]

I've watched literally many hundreds of reactions to hi ren and yours is without a doubt one of the best.. many thanks from a fellow Aussie..❤,

[@texashookem22]

Welcome to the world Ren. Buckle up. This young man is literally redefining music and art, and resonating globally!

[@russ12358]

I've gone down a total rabbit hole the last week since I discovered this song -- listening to probably 30 - 40 reviews/analyses of Hi Ren. Yours is the most complete I've seen. You talked about a great mix of explaining voice and music while also pulling out more of the emotional meanings and connections of the message of Hi Ren. Wonderful job.

[@wakledodd]

This is perfect. Very profound and griping.

[@GEOFF-b9p]

You're 100% Spot On. The way you explore the human experience is truly Incredible, and explores Consciousness in a way that I've never felt before. Nothing Else Matters, In the moment when life, the universe, and every feeling is making sense now. "THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING"

[@nikniki4277]

Разкошна реакция, поздрави от България! Рен е съкровище, което си заслужава да се изследва по дълбоко, добре дошла в заешката дупка!

[@namelia4439]

Your analyses of the emotion and message - and the takeaway - of this is so spot on…you summarized it perfectly. Thank you so much.

[@Samurai_Stoner]

This song is both heartbreaking and beautiful... So glad I discovered Ren

[@raymunsey6558]

Julia you are a beautiful soul the way you react the pure emotion you experience is what keeps me coming back to your videos i hope you are well

[@RedlineVenom]

Looking forward to this one Julia! Have a great day.

[@sandracole2578]

This is the absolute best reaction video I have watched for this song/work of art !! Thankyou.

[@Xeoth]

First time listening to this it hit me like a truck, second time i almost foget that this is all one person, even when two are constantly switching between each other and it just shows how good the visuals assist the vocal choices here you broke down so well. I think it´s a masterpiece of that topic and knowing his backstory it hits even harder! Those lyrics spoke to me on so many levels and occasions i can´t count, and there was more than one tear shed by me, even after listening many times to it.

[@NoCredits]

I've watched 30 reactions to this track, as I study the intricacies of his work, and this is top 5 for me. Well done! Love your analysis and interpretation and eloquent explanation xxx

[@RKGrizz]

This song hit me like a brick. It was almost a one for one match for my own internal journey over my life, with less religious allegory but still the same none the less. Ren is right, we are all Human Beings. We all live this in our own way and we should never forget that. It is the most real thing I have heard or seen in years.

[@aaronmadden7583]

I want to thank you for this reaction...there were so many words on the screen but I didn't see a one, just the Rollercoaster of emotion on your face made it everything for me and made it so pure...so again I thank you.

[@outcast491]

this song is just a reminder that music is therapy. the line about the charcter of "hope" being "the voice in your head as you losen the noose on the rope" hits very close to home for me, every single time I hear it. if you want more of his singing capabilities, Id recomend "Chalk Oulines"

[@nikrul]

I've lost count on ho many recation video I've watched for Hi Ren but this is one of my favorite. Both your reaction, your technical analysis and your message interpretation were amazing. This song is a piece of art.

[@RareRootsOfJoyMelbourne]

First it’s lovely to see another Australian creator here. Secondly, isn’t this just… JUST! I can’t believe this young man has slipped through the musical radar. There’s no way anyone else could have done this so well, I think you have to go through it yourself. Best young artist I’ve seen in a long time - Sharon

[@MrBrut33]

One of the best and honest reaction I have seen to this song. Thank you.

[@yannpafemy]

This is the exact representation of how i was struggeling with my demons inside my head. Always telling me that i'm not good for anything and that voice would just never shut up. Adding a line from "chalk outlines" , a song of his that btw you should react too:" i'm scared of being ok because all things change" that line hit me harde than i could have expected.

[@musicfreakmc2603]

And I must congratulate you. This is the first video time in a long time I found some one worth commenting on. You are awesome

[@Xenokiin]

This song honestly hit me like a train. I was recently diagnosed with a second autoimmune disease, so I'm still in the trenches, waiting to stand up before I can dance. This is such a powerful narrative and I love that each of the reactors I watch add their own acceptance of not only the beautiful art that Ren pulls off, but how each of us survive the narrative. Thank you so much for that and your honest emotions. ♥

[@iaincphotography6051]

As you wait to stand, learn to dance in your mind, be ready and may your recovery come soon.

[@mikeduncan3953]

Dance in your chair. Dance in your bed. Dance in the trenches. You cannot wait until you're ready to dance, because it is the dance that will get you there in the end. I believe in you.

[@douglasg.9271]

Such a powerful message. And performance. I’ve been watching this video being reacted to for over 1 1/2 yrs now, and it’s still an emotional experience every time.

[@mldkenny]

This is so beyond special and one of the most powerful pieces of music I have ever heard.

[@justinsane4828]

“Sometimes you have to make a character to get yourself past it” strong, true words. Take my like and my sub! Hope you become great! Thank you

[@viktor821]

This performance, being a one take is an absolute master piece.

[@andrewcampbell9244]

Julia...your passion for this condition is intriguing. I hope you are well and realize that you are loved and what you do is respected!

[@RolandTumble23]

Oh. My. Gods. I've lost count of the reactions to this that I've watched, and been _waiting_ for yours, and you have turned in what is BY FAR my favorite to see (Chase comes kind-of close). This song didn't hit me as hard, emotionally, because it's been a few months since I FINALLY figured out that Impostor Syndrome is one of the defining aspects of my whole damned life (I'm 64). But I do feel, strongly, that EVERYYONE needs to see it (I only wish it were possible to translate it into. well, every language on Earth, without losing some of the things that make it so powerful).

[@rogerstarkey5390]

(Fairy voice mother..... 😱😩)

[@RolandTumble23]

@@rogerstarkey5390 Eh. Hers was okay. Can't forgive her for chopping up videos, though. I understand, but vehemently disagree with, her position that "I'm here for the voice." Hogwash--it's all part of The Thing.

[@jakebarlow100]

Just gotta say i oove the way you write over the music instead of speaking over it!! That alone makes this the single best reaction video ive ever watched