Iced Out A Friend Who Tried To Police My Social Media & Reminded Me I'm Not In Shape r/Relationships

[@MarkNarrations]

The other day we spoke about grief and how to handle it and I just want to say how incredibly touched I am when you shared your stories with me, much love to you all

[@FriedaMMartin]

Grief is always unique, but support helps

[@dawnstone4424]

You are truly a wonderful person Mark.

[@dorothrawalker1389]

Last February I lost my last 4 brothers within days of each other to stage 4 cancer and sent me into a very dark place cause I had no one.

[@Gingerycarrotkitten]

We all love and appreciate you so much Mark! So much respect and admiration from all over the globe! Much love from Minnesota

[@annsnyder4662]

I like your kitten.

[@bunnyslippers191]

"If I wanted to hear an asshole talk, I'd fart." *makes note to self to start using this on the daily*

[@judyjohnson9610]

It's one of the best STFU lines ever.

[@spockezri]

"strong sibling-like bond" girl read the room he only sees you as a future girlfriend

[@marshawargo7238]

I think that he's going at it like her savior! He's there with relationship advice & he likes the gratitude. "What now? Oh I know, her eating disorder can start back up & at this point in time, it could be all because of Him & she'll need MY advice & I'll save her again! hehhehheh" Evil Rodents Rectom! (😈 rats ass)

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 1 - NTA. It sounds like he wants to be with OP and is going to neg her into it. Dude’s a jerk and controlling.

[@justinebidulopoutchini9774]

Yep thats my impression from the post too

[@lilolmecj]

Or just socially clueless. There is a saying I will get wrong, something like don’t ascribe to malice that to which belongs to stupidity. He had enough redeeming qualities to become her dear friend to begin with. He sees that her weight causes her unhappiness, thinks “encouraging her” to get in shape will help, in fact she herself said on IG that she wants to. She sends mixed messages, he oversteps. They are both really young. If he was 30 and being this way it would be different.

[@nightrain4749]

@@lilolmecj I would agree with you if she hadnt told him to stop and explained why she didnt like it. After that its full on negging

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

@@lilolmecj Telling her what she should and shouldn’t post on her social media pushes him into AH territory, unless she is asking how to boost engagement on her socials, there’s no reason he needed to bring it up.

[@jusminejustice2794]

@@lilolmecj Look, I'm young and socially clueless- but I know better to not comment on other people's bodies.

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

wow this woman is living in denial if she thinks she and Josh had a "sibling-like bond". Like, a sibling who's obsessed with your body? This guy has been trying to get in her pants from day one and now she's going in for round 2. smh

[@thedestroyasystem]

Hearing that update, I just knew shit was gonna go downhill. I had a similar situation recently- uni friend crossed a line and I made an exception, because I genuinely missed her company and she seemed to be taking accountability. Well. Several months and a court case later, I can confidently say I’ve learned my lesson. I hope OP doesn’t have to learn the hard way , too.

[@artemishallihan8973]

Story 2 - BF learned his high school politics from TV and movies, the idea that all the academic kids pine for what the "popular" kids have, when in reality no one cares outside of that bubble.

[@MisterNightfish]

Story 1: Not even 1 minute and I'm already done with Josh.

[@A.x3]

Well, OP went crawling back to him so...

[@HazbinHotel_fan21]

​@@A.x3Ultimately it is OP's decision.. but if I was in her shoes, there wouldn't be a friendship anymore..

[@RoseKoneko]

My kitten has decided that the background fireplace on the video is his sworn enemy.

[@7ShadowMaiden7]

Oh my gosh, kittens are so cute 🤣

[@HidanKitten32]

XD

[@RoseKoneko]

@@7ShadowMaiden7 He hasn’t grasped that tv isn’t a window so he keeps checking behind it. They are very adorable.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Awww

[@jojoone1099]

Lol. How catty of it!

[@deettekearns9092]

"I talked with his sister and she said high school was a special experience for him and I ruined his memories." WHAT? WHY? Because OP didn't know who he was? How does that "ruin" his high school memories? His sister's statement implies his "special memories" of high school were based on the nerds being in awe of him being a football stud on campus. How ridiculous.

[@owl7072]

Apparently it turns out he had a bit of a crush on Op then, that might be what his sister was talking about

[@deettekearns9092]

@@owl7072 - Yup. But a bit of stupid statement since there was no explanation until OP confronted boyfriend.

[@susankaempfer8427]

Because it turned out not every SINGLE person was either dying to be him or be with him? And he thinks op humiliated him?

[@meggammacisaacrylie7869]

Story 1: OP is making a big mistake taking Josh back as a friend. These types never change. I give it a few months before he goes back to his toxic behavior. This young woman is going to be eaten alive by the world if she continues to be so forgiving of toxic people and let them back into her life so easily. Toxic people like Josh will switch tactics if given a chance to, all in order to break someone down. I've seen it happen to a friend of mine years ago and it was a painful lesson for them, one that ended up nearly breaking them.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@LadyLoveMa]

He wants her but her self esteem is too high, so he is trying to knock her down to his level.

[@marshawargo7238]

Possibly be her savior!

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Story 2: NTA; but your boyfriend is! Dump him now!

[@singingwordwright148]

1:28 proper response “clearly you have mistaken me for someone who f*cking asked.”

[@ladyv5655]

Story 1: Negging, check. Creeping on a woman who recently broke up, check. Trying to be controlling, check. Guilt-tripping, check. Dude is a niceguy would-be pickup artist. 2nd story: Sounds like the bf not only peaked in high school , but he hasn't matured emotionally since then. I don't see much of a future for this relationship.

[@alymay6849]

I was thinking the exact same thing, they all have the same patterns, thankfully we started to recocgnize those more

[@bunnyslippers191]

Yep, as soon as he told OP that OP humiliated him and they would never speak of high school again, "He peaked in high school. Dump him! He's never going to grow past that," came out of my mouth.

[@holeymcsockpuppet]

S1: Correct. But he's not "would-be" He IS definitely new to Game. With the mistakes he made, I'm surprised he got it to work so well on a woman of her quality. Based on her post, he would need to be above intermediate level PUA to get her addicted like this. He has her. If executed properly the techniques are 100% effective. And the easiest demographic of women for PUAs to get? Married women. And that's why I stopped dating. The person I was becoming to not be rejected was disturbing. And the knowledge that any guy with good technique could end my relationship pretty much destroyed any desire for women. Now, it's single and celibate.

[@holeymcsockpuppet]

​​@@alymay6849and? The patterns still work. She was litterally told he was using them, and she went back. I've seen women be told they were being manipulated by the guy hitting on them...yes, the guy told them "hey, I'm going to use Pick-up on you. Think you can resist?" And they still go home with them. Even OP was told he was using Pick-up. She went back to him. I've heard multiple women tell this story "Yeah, this guy was using pick-up artist crap on me. So dumb. Like I would ever fall for that. Now that we've been dating and sleeping together for a few weeks he understands that he didn't have to do all that." And that's why I don't date.

[@thiccredgyal3404]

He's probably the type to abuse his partners

[@Russman67]

Story 1: Josh is exhausting. Putting some distance between OP and Josh is necessary. I mean he didn't even grasp that he did anything wrong until his coworkers got after him.

[@ineedhoez]

Wow that's because she didn't tell him what he did wrong

[@Russman67]

@@ineedhoez his coworkers figured it out based on his explanation. Also, why would OP, who's trying to put distance between her and Josh, sit there and explain it? Those two objectives are counter to each other.

[@jameswatson9338]

Story 2: So, even without the extreme competition among "nerds," no one in my group sat around wistfully dreaming of dating a popular kid. They bullied us and the response to that is NOT wanting to date your bully. And even in cases where they weren't bullies, the popular kids had different interests and aesthetics and just wouldn't have made a good partner for any of us. It's crazy to think that some of these people grow up to think we were all drooling over them.

[@HaleyJo1992]

Yeah, nerds didn't care about popular kids at all. The only thing we got pissed about was when teachers treated them better than the rest of us. Other than that we didn't give a shit

[@BigSith2011]

I don't know about "popular", but I do know about how student athletes got away with a huge amount of bullshit, at least where I went to school. Then again I went to high school in a small Texas town, so of course the football players were treated like gods by the facility.

[@thatonearoace]

Wasn’t one of the “nerds” but I only knew who was on any of the teams on the days they wore their uniforms. I could never name/recognize any of the football players despite being in marching band for all 4 years and seeing them every Friday night as well as at least once during the day every week of school

[@n.g.l.]

Lol tbh I never noticed. What eventually shocked me was that they knew my name only bc I was the “smart” one. Too engrossed in school and everything else to care 😅

[@8LyJu8]

Different country but similar experience (minus the sports syuff, wich is a peculiarity of the US, IMO). I was a nerd, and didn't know any of the popular kids, ended up learning after we graduated that everyone knew my name. I even crossed paths with someone a year older in a music school (we both went as a hobby) and one of the teachers there mentioned that she knew who I was but there was no need to tell me because she didn't believe I ever knew who she was.

[@heathercontois4501]

My poor Senior Pre-Cal teacher. We had one of the popular jock kids in my class, it was his first year teaching high school math and, At least for my class, it always ended with a note to himself on the board "Do not let J do...".

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP is just young. At her age I would've handled it similarly. But, at this point I'd probably just say leave me TF alone. You are rude and disrespectful. A friend does not constantly discuss your body. It was completely intentional. No ignorance, only malice

[@patty-pat-pat]

His comment would have destroyed me as a teen or my early 20s! Now, I'd be like 'ForkoffJosh' 🤣

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@patty-pat-pat so this! I don't miss being those ages at all

[@ElleD308]

Jajajajajajaaj 23 and acting like a 16 year old? No...she's not young... this is insane. Now people are "maturing" in their 70s and they see 20-30 as dumb useless children 😂😂

[@paulastiles5507]

Fairly recently, I had someone I'd known for years try that with me. They are no longer my friend. Maybe I'm just getting cranky in my middle age, but I take criticism a lot more warily than I used to. Yeah, growth and being able to read the room are important, but everyone's got an opinion, not all opinions are constructive, and not everyone wishes you well.

[@holeymcsockpuppet]

Yeah, I feel bad that adult women are children now. When do they grow up? It seems like around 45.

[@diamcole]

S2: I've had this exact conversation with my partner before. He was shocked that my friend group had no idea who he or his friends were - we all went to the same high school but like OP, we were fiercely competitive and had tunnel vision. He wasn't trying to be self-important, turns out he remembered seeing me on several occasions and apparently I left an impression. His feelings were a little hurt that I hadn't noticed him lol but ya girl was barely eating back then, let alone scoping out cute guys.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿

[@jordynm9049]

Tbh I feel like the reason a lot of people are “popular” isn’t really just bc of like the whole jock stereotype like the movies portray. In reality a lot of them are just charismatic and that means nice and probably also good with names and faces so they know a lot of people.

[@diamcole]

@@jordynm9049 I went to school in Texas lol so it was definitely more of the jock stereotype portrayed in movies but you know, Texas 😂- God and football. But after moving up North, I saw more instances of charisma and kindness winning out over athletic skill/community support.

[@nummulite99]

At some point, usually in your late 20’s/30’s, you finally realise you are the star of your own movie and no one else’s.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Unfortunately, many people don't realize that ever. Even when they're told that to their face. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it repeatedly. What is wrong with them? 😂

[@Russman67]

Story 2: Being one of the "popular kids" in high school was his Identity and OP just showed him that it didn't matter outside of his popular group. Glad they were okay after his bubble burst.

[@jnmsks6052]

People's negative comments about Karen Carpenter's body in the 70s ultimately lead to her death of anorexia in the early 80s. Saying such negative things to someone, especially when they didn't ask for your opinion can have such grave consequences.

[@teddennison344]

Story 2 - The last time I cared about popularity was 6th grade. That's when I realized they were so socially cutthroat that nobody had loyal friends. Hard nope. Nerds all the way. Those dudes would have taken a bullet for me.

[@janglesthearsonist5265]

Story 2: OP wasn't a nerd, she was a high-achiever. These are two different cliques, however they are not mutually exclusive. It sounds like OP may have been more well known amongst the entire student body than her boyfriend as many high achievers end up helping the students struggling around them in class no matter what cliques they identify with. I remember more achievers from school soley because they answered the most questions accurately in class while jocks only could shine one period a day in physical education.

[@sovereigncrux]

Story 1: It sounds like OP transferred her codependency issues with her recent relationship onto her new friend. Look how quickly OP latched onto him and raised him up to 'brotherly status' while trying to heal from the breakup of her relationship. In the updates she talks about how close they were, how deep their bond was, I kept thinking, "Girl, you've only known this guy a few months and spent the last two of that not talking and freezing him out. You barely know him." OP projects A LOT of value and security onto this stranger through her codependency issues because he is willing to be there for her daily thus far (essentially a stand-in for a boyfriend). That's why it was unsettling for her to catch a glimpse of who Josh really is, she blinded herself with her projections and hasn't really got to know who Josh is as a person. In fact, once apart, her codependency issues decided again that she can forgive him for being himself (controlling and critical) if he just goes back to being what she needs the rest of the time (meeting her projections). She needs therapy like whoa.

[@vanzy01]

💯👍🏿 she's trapping herself into a emotionally abusive friendship is she just going to whine and complain about it.

[@DrownedInExile]

I'd have to agree. Josh has already blown his second chance, but OP's giving him a third. I hope she comes to her senses.

[@wildfyah]

Agreed. It reminds me of a friend who popped up to provide support when I broke up with my ex. We fell out eventually.

[@ineedhoez]

Yup. They can't be alone

[@christinesavage4837]

Where did you get the idea she only just met him. She says they were friends in highschool and doing the same course in uni. She stated his weird behaviour started a couple of monts ago after she broke up with her ex.

[@JasperCatProductions]

Story one why would you talk with this dude? Who cares what a buddy thinks of your body? Dump the friendship he is a fool

[@alyssachey8417]

The comment “if I wanted to hear an asshole talk, I’d fart” cracked me up. While I’d hope I am never going to need that saying… I kinda hope I get an opportunity to use it! 😂

[@YuToobVideos]

Story 2: He was like Al Bundy, A "I once scored 4 touchdowns in one game." kinda guy!😂😂

[@DoomChibi99]

Red flags! Get your red flags here! Only costing a high 5! Return them before the next video, please and thanks. I need these flags cleaned after all. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Also, OP, NTA! That guy was a creep by negging you like that

[@fallingawayfromthenorm]

Story 2 - NTA. I can’t imagine being so obsessed with myself and my status that I assume people from other cliques and groups in high school knew how my specific group worked and cared about it. Maybe I can’t imagine that because I wasn’t popular, but I definitely didn’t pay much attention to the popular kids beyond recognizing their faces and names, what they did didn’t matter to me or my friends. I got along with some of them, others I didn’t interact with beyond classes where we had to work together or something.

[@rubymeaddle]

I was a nerd, I'm happy when I find out they don't remember me 😂

[@FriedaMMartin]

Hello, had to quit my job as they were trying to force me to go in despite almost becoming anaphylactic. Here’s to finding new work.

[@AndyyWithAY]

Praying and sending good thoughts for a better job very soon

[@MarkNarrations]

Whaaaattt!? Surely there's something that can be done about that? Sorry to hear you're going through it though Frieda

[@FriedaMMartin]

@@MarkNarrationsI’m looking into seeing if I have a case or not. They wanted me to to keep going in person instead of staying fully remote, while awaiting the proper documents to be filled out by my doctor and for HR to reach their decision. In the meantime I’d have to keep returning to the building that created the reaction

[@browhattheactualfu-2659]

You most definitely can get a case about that wtf

[@bunnyslippers5183]

In the UK that would be illegal I think, under not making a reasonable adjustment, if you’re in the US I’m not sure… but it’s got to be some flavour of illegal surely?

[@carlrood4457]

Where I went to high school, it tended to be more about how social you were, not about things like grades or sports. Most of the athletes I knew were also very good students. If anyone picked on me, it was more likely the "burnout" crowd and trouble makers, not the "popular" kids, who were mostly fairly cool. It was more about my social insecurity than anything they did that prevented me from making many friends in high school.

[@JSainte17]

“It still took you approaching him!” Yeah bc she said to leave her alone and he did. He can’t win with that logic.

[@theunknownone5663]

Story two: the boyfriend was hurt that the nerdy girl didn't the popular jock 😂 the irony.

[@cycy1578]

Story 2: Popular kids are only important to each other. The rest of us really really didn’t care. 😂 we loved being outsiders

[@selinesbeau]

I never had a clue who was on any of the school's teams. Couldn't have cared less. I just wanted to get through school with a decent grade. Honestly, the thing I wanted most in high school was more sleep.

[@GiordanDiodato]

probably never went to my high school. it was all about the teams and the cliques. then again I was in high school from 2008-2012. We were probably the last graduating year like that.

[@neru1584]

I transfered from one highschool to another like this year, and at both I didn't know whoever the hell was on the school teams. I just didn't care and most of my other friends didn't either. Highschool is miserable and idk how people get through it lmao

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

​@@GiordanDiodatoI went to school in the 90s. Nobody cared about cliques or teams then, either. I knew one football player, and that was because he was my first "boyfriend" in middle school. I knew a few cheerleaders because I had classes with them and would talk to them. I have no idea who was on any other sports teams. My freshman year, the football coach asked if we wanted to be "team managers" and we laughed and said no. The girl who became team manager to this day posts either "hot" pictures of herself from high school or are so heavily filtered, she has no features. But none of my friends nor I really cared. Other than that woman, I don't know anyone who did.

[@ruthsaunders9507]

@@GiordanDiodato We didn't really care when I was in school in the 90's either. Wasn't into sports and the "popular" girls were strange weird creatures that did goofy things for attention. HS was boring and a thing to get through so real life could start. Think I remember more about the jobs I had during the HS years than the school itself.

[@hi_stranger9156]

Story 2: Glory days. OP ruined his glory days by saying that she did not worship the ground he walked on. His ego was hurt because he thought all the *nerds* wanted him and envied his life and his standing in high school. All because OP knew high school was not end game. Now he has to acknowledge that he was not god’s gift to the world. What she’s revealed is that he places a big part of his self worth in being *better* than some people. This is kind of a deep character flaw. That he’s this upset over not being held in high esteem is a giant 🚩🚩. NTA

[@steffiphill]

This dude peaked in high school. Someone from my home town moved to my current city; we attended high school together. Anywho, he somehow recognized me…asked if I was from hometown. I didn’t know him from a hole in the wall. He seemed kinda miffed. Looked him up on social, and our alumni page. Yeah, apparently he ran in the pop circle. I only knew the names of two people from that group, and that’s only because we helped one another in classes. Peaked people seem to think others consider them gods/goddesses. Sorry, we don’t give free rent in our heads!

[@MargaritaOnTheRox]

I didn't really know any of the "popular" kids. I knew the few with whom I actually interacted, but that was it. If you asked me who was quarterback my senior year of high school, I would have had no idea. I only knew one football player, and that was only because he was my first "boyfriend" in middle school. I knew a few cheerleaders because I spoke to girls more, but I wouldn't have been able to name more than a few.

[@ChangedWinds]

I'm confused why (potentially) OP removed her final update. For someone who pushes the "we were nerds who only really gave a sh*t about anyone else because we're competing for the best college with the highest tier grades for the best placement" but then later on states how she doesn't understand nerd stereotypes and cultural assumptions. Unless OP outright hiding information, I can't see this situation of hers as nothing more than "dude who peaked in hs, randomly brings up his former status in hs, pressures OP into admitting how much she secretly obsessed over some rando student cause he was popular."

[@Rose-yt5hi]

Unless you went to a really small school where everyone knew everyone else, you have to really stand out in your field (whether it’s academics, athletics, art) for anyone outside your circle to know who you are. Teens are already kind of pre-programmed to be self-centered; they’re not paying attention to the dude who has 0 impact on their life.

[@mikef2811]

@@MargaritaOnTheRox Same here, I knew those who were in my classes or interacted in my classes but that was it. We would say Hi to each other as we pass through the hallways, but that was it. I didn't belong to any click. I wasn't a nerd because I was smart enough 3.5 GPA but I was not intelligent (mid 700 SAT Test Score). I was more street smart or common-sense smart. I had to study 4-5 hours a day just to pass my classes. Funny thing was while in college, I end up meeting some of those popular kids that I never interacted with...they actually remember me and my name, and we made some small talks here and there.

[@glass9137]

S2: aww this ones kinda sweet! I understand he was probably hurt to find out she didn’t even know of his existence 😂 but thats how it is. Hundred of kids run within specific circles in a building from all backgrounds, theres no time to know every single one especially as you get closer to graduating. It worked out for them though! They found their way back to each other and she didnt know it 😂

[@MizTameRumors]

Story 1 - NTA Josh is self important and rude at best....He's a controlling manipulative narcissist at worst. You don't need friends like that.

[@trilbynhiss]

Story one - I call that "man brain". The "I know best, little lady. Just do what I say and don't sass me." The unearned confidence, the entitlement of assuming they're in a position of authority and should be obeyed. Hearing he's a "Christian" didn't change my perception of Josh either.

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

It was bad enough he was negging OP but controlling her SM? What?

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Yeah, that's an alarming red flag. Control freak behavior. It's usually a sign of a malignant narcissist. Those are the ones that can end up seriously hurting or even ending their significant other.

[@fyoutube9410]

Story 2, dude is living a stereotype.

[@shaetoons3602]

Stories 1 and 2: Both Ops should've cut off the relationships. Story 1: That guy knew exactly what he was trying to do, and Story 2 the boyfriend's ego is a red flag.

[@meggammacisaacrylie7869]

Story 2: 25 years old and still focused on how things were in high school? I forgot high school almost as soon as I left, being one of "the weirdos". I was ready to get out of high school by sophomore year. I was so bored with most of my classes and I went to a Catholic High School, complete with plaid skirts; need I say more? 😂

[@BlankPageEmperor1334]

I really feel like both OPs are missing the point of their problems with these obsessive, self-impressed guys they're dealing with. A guy you've known less than a year telling you what to do, and a boyfriend calling you a liar because he misses how you were in high school? Not normal! Creepy!

[@shydog7276]

Story 2 has strong "peaked in highschool" vibes. I can't think of any other reason for an *adult* in a relationship to be fantasizing about himself and his partner as kids. It's weird.

[@warjdani]

1st story NTA he didn't even apologize, he made a statement that says I'm sorry you feel this way but I was doing this for your own good. Glad you got rid of him.

[@kitarrah1422]

But she didn't get rid of him. She took him back as a friend.

[@Trivial_Whim]

Second story: tell me your boyfriend peaked in high school without saying your boyfriend peaked in high school.

[@ariste01]

I think it's good Josh waited for her to approach him. She said she did not want any contact outside of academics. Had he approached her... even to apologize... he would have been once again disrespecting a boundary she set. Once she approached him, he had the sincere apology ready to go, but I think he was being respectful in waiting til she wanted to hear it.

[@1tiptip187]

Popularity one. This is part of what I call this the "sitcom mentality". Someone looks at how happy media portrays things, be it school, friendship, work, parenthood, or even hobbies and think it should be that way. Reality is more a lot more work and less smooth. You weren't in the same interests. You weren't in the same friend groups. You had seperate goal paths. This isn't a high school drama show where everyone knows everyone and everyone and follows EVERYTHING.

[@browniewin4121]

1) What an AH, OMG. It is good OP recognized his obsessive need to put his opinion over hers and it's attempts at control. Just cut him off totally, he is not a friend worth keeping. NTA. His opinions are not worth considering. After update: I'm glad OP is getting good feedback to her post pointing out this guy is offensive and obnoxious and she should in no way go along with his negging. After next update: I'm glad to hear OP has cut this jerk off. And it's good she told him off with examples and then realized it's not worth attempting to make him understand because he is incapable of understanding how he is wrong. I'm so happy to hear advice helped and OP has learned a valuable lesson and is moving on and doing well. After next update: I hope this attempt at renewing the friendship goes well and he has learned his lesson. Having his coworkers reinforce how he was out of line was a good thing. It's good OP is resolved not to give a 3rd chance if he falls back into his old negative pattern. 2) Good for OP for giving this guy a dose of reality, too bad he can't recognize it and is offended because OP's high school experience and his were very different. How insecure must he be that he felt the need to make himself the main character in her experience instead of just being happy for his good memories of those days and happy for her's that it led her to where she is now. That maybe he thinks his high school status as cool kid is the pinnacle of accomplishment is also pretty sad. He wouldn't take OP at her word so she gave him proof, if he now feels embarrassed that was of his own doing. OP NTA. After update: Oh my gosh, did not realize he felt hurt because he had a crush on OP back in high school and her response to him killed his fantasy and hurt his feelings. I'm glad they talked and worked this out.

[@yatzy7510]

Story 2: the last part about his apology to op made me crack a smile. The consensus was that he was upset that his romantic fantasy about the both of them liking each other a little didn't happen 😂 how cute and romantic is that? How he worded it sounded a little clumsy but he sounds like he had this cliché romantic idea of him (and op) having this small crush in school and later finding each other

[@ankinset]

Op 1 you showed dam good maturity by accepting the apology and taking the time first to really acknowledge the facts of the situation

[@FlipTheBard]

OP's bf in story 2 is the definitio of "peaked in highschool". Seems like the will forever bring with him his memories of "once having been the popular kid" as if that is somehow an achievement.

[@DevilFruitZero]

Interesting that nerds were more toxic than jocks. I mean I wasn't a competitive nerd so that is probably the difference. 🤔

[@Mewse1203]

Story 2: And people like him wonder why jocks are hated in high school.

[@mandylee3593]

NTA. Feels like he wanted to feel like she was the lucky one to have him because he was a popular kid and placed some of his worth on that.

[@annabethsmith-kingsley2079]

the guy in the second story played himself: he tried to float out the idea that he was better than her in high school and he came up empty haha

[@mstb2023]

I know this is old, but Mark at 5:10 saying "I'm such a child!" tickled me to no end!!!!😅

[@hattimounattimou8258]

story 2: this is peak peaked in high school

[@JMac7395]

LAST STORY 1: Unfortunately, TV shows about high schoolers throughout the decades have helped perpetuate the myth that all popular teens believe the delusion that everyone wants to be like them. This is greatly exaggerated. The reality is some, not all, teens of all social groups live in unhappy homes & think their fellow peers live better. These unhappy teens tend to gravitate to other teens who appear the happiest or most content. However, I have noticed in the past few years, TV shows are displaying a more realistic view of how teens see & think of each other

[@ImaNerdANDaGeek]

Story 2 when the boyfriend thought all the nerds were aware of him because he played football, they probably didn't care about football.

[@BlueCaesar13]

I hope to God no one in my High School ever thought of people in terms of "cool" and "nerd". Also, I do think its cute that OP's bf was most upset that his romantic high school fantasy was crushed rather than that argument being an ego thing

[@Davtwan]

“I should only post good moments on my page.” So Josh wants her to have a “good” social standing by making sure she’s never showing the other moments in her life to keep it real. And this is on someone who recently broke up and has an eating disorder no less. Josh is going to end up on a government list if he keeps making boneheaded moves like that.

[@TryniaMerin]

I would have told Josh in story one, "You're coming on too strong and I don't appreciate you trying to police my social media. Back off please."

[@hodgeelmwood8677]

I wouldn't be able to continue a friendship like that. I'd always be on edge, expecting the other person to cross boundaries again; and if I was in Josh's place, even if I were genuinely remorseful, I'd be walking on eggshells with that person, always worried that I'd offend them again. I don't think friendships can ever go back to what they were once someone pushes you too far.

[@brie1162]

7:13 When I read the title of the first story the only thing that I could think of was the “Ice ‘em!!!” Scene from Zootopia🤣🤣🤣

[@gregmiller4387]

Story 2 - BF thought he was the star in everyone's life and is disappointed that he was only the star in his life, he thinks that sports people are important ,when a lot of people don't follow sports and find it kind of childish and silly.

[@Graves933]

Story 2: me and my boyfriend did not realize we were in homeroom in high-school for a full year together until someone else mentioned it. I was a weird kid in high school. Anime club, drawing, cosplay, an absolute gremlin really. My boyfriend was more popular, sporty, self assured, hung out with some more popular people. We started dating when we met at a job a year later and had NO idea we were in the same class before. You don't realize no one actually pays attention to those outside their circle 😅

[@GMAMEC]

Mark sounds like the big brother or friend that OP didn’t know that she needed. Josh would be out of the picture.

[@LillyianPuppy]

In order to have a boundary, you need to know what you are willing to do if it is crossed, and you have to be willing to follow through .

[@nitemare1004]

"shut up [name], if i wanted to hear and AH talk, i'd fart" line is just pure gold!

[@veezopolis]

Why is she acting like?She actually stood up for herself.She did not do that

[@davidprice6002]

Story 2: it's always a rude awakening when the 'popular' kids find out how little value this is in real life... NTA you put him in his place

[@HodajuciParadoks]

I would mute him or restrict him...or even block him. If you do not ask for advice, they should shut up. I have all random options for many topic, but I never tell them unless they ask me for honest advice and opinion.

[@meddy_martin]

I just found your channel and been binging on your story telling 😊

[@MarkNarrations]

Welcome to the gang Meddy!!

[@persephoneszeliga]

This channel is DEFINITELY the best! Welcome! The more the merrier ❤

[@kitarrah1422]

Mark is one of the best! And it doesn't hurt that he has a voice like warm butter and maple syrup on a waffle! 🧇

[@uncutfandu3179]

As a high school nerd/geek I can confirm we never gave to fucks about the popular kids 😹

[@jusminejustice2794]

Same. 🤣

[@immapotato1]

Josh's action reminds me of every "best Firend" story who are the greatest people ever where OP has an epiphany in either the edit or the update that that person systematically isolated them and had been using them for years.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Hey you yes you, take a deep breath let it out slowly, and lower your shoulders. Know that you are important to someone even if you feel like no one loves you, guess what I do. I'm so proud of you being here. Thank you. Now make sure you take care of yourself and drink some water, eat something and take a stretch break.💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗

[@nutty77]

Sounds like Josh is waiting for OP to be the way he wants and then will ask her out. Either that or he thinks that OP wil get a better life and leave him behind.

[@AngelaVEdwards]

"A silent fool is always better received than a loud one." No, actually "Even fools are thought wise if they keep silent, and discerning if they hold their tongues" Proverbs 17:28

[@Skrtskrt1236]

Josh is orbiting, 100%. The negging is because he doesn’t believe he’s in OP’s league. A lot of the time people don’t even realize they are doing it.

[@carlrood4457]

Some people don't get a perspective on your life. He's not an SO. He's not close family who's known you for years and might notice dangerous trends.

[@nekorei2023]

Hi waffle gang! I have been feeling bad since shit went south with my parents arguing, exams in 3 days & you are here to save the day! Thank you, Mark, for your hard work. Make sure you also take care of yourself, too :D

[@MarkNarrations]

Bless you mate, you're really having a tough time lately. Make sure to focus on yourself though as much as you can which I know is easier said than done

[@nekorei2023]

@@MarkNarrations Thank you :) 🫶🏻

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Good luck on the exams

[@joedickerson9973]

Your parents issues are basically your parents issues. Yes, they actually affect you, but you are not responsible for them. Focus on your exams and kick some ass! Good luck!

[@nekorei2023]

@@joedickerson9973 thank you!

[@TheChampionEccentric]

Story 1: There is a saying I heard a long time ago that I think is appropriate to Josh: "Never attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by stupidity." I don't think Josh is evil or a menace or anything like that. But I do think he's ignorant or otherwise an idiot, or perhaps he had a buch of unhealthy influences in his life, and that made him act like a jackass. He deserved to lose the OP as a friend and he deserved to be called out by his coworkers. I think the reason why he didn't approach the OP to apologise was that he was embarrassed about his actions and wanted to genuinely respect her boundaries for the first time. I don't know. I don't like assuming the worst of people, and perhaps that makes me naive and weak. But I'm happy that the OP gave Josh a second chance, and I truly hope he takes that second chance seriously.

[@_letstartariot]

Story 2: I wouldn’t have called myself a nerd in high school. Nor would I have called myself a popular kid. I was in years 10-12 during the birth of emo culture. There were a lot of us emos. We naturally rebelled and looked down on the jocks and popular girls. But I knew nothing of their lives nor did I care for their approval. If you see yourself as the ‘popular kid’ when you were in school, please know that it is likely that most other students didn’t look up to you or fear you like movies claim popularity works. You probably actually barely existed to people outside your large friend group.

[@MaggieTheCat01]

If someone tries to tell you that you should do something their way because their way is better, just say “If that’s the way you prefer, you do it that way, and I’ll continue to do it the way _I_ prefer.”

[@leannecanty8821]

If you've only known a person for such a short time, and they are giving you this much worry, stop interacting with them. Being polite doesn't mean being a pushover. You can politely tell someone to get lost.

[@mason3671]

Biggest problem for Story 1 to me is the fact that he kept insulting OP even after she told him to stop. Multiple times she says to stop even going so far as blocking him on social media. But all of a sudden after OP says they’re done, full stop, he talks to some co-workers who say the exact same thing as OP and now he realizes just how wrong he was… really?

[@BloodSunBlast]

Story 2: 😂 I was the weird quiet kid. I had no idea who was supposed to be popular. I just knew my own group of friends

[@rubymeaddle]

Story One: I could tell pretty quickly Josh is negging OP...

[@moonlightauras1]

Story 2: OPs boyfriend was the main character in his own teen movie and couldn't fathom the thought that she lived a real teenage life outside of that.

[@iSmileyPerson]

Story 2 started out wild but ended up kinda cute. I’m imagining the husband just kinda awkwardly being like, “I liked you and you didn’t even notice me. 😭”

[@MogofWar]

An insight on Story 2. Another facto OP mentions, which would confound the typical clique dynamic of most communities, is the OP's boyfriend was in the popular clique of those already established within the community, while OP, and most of the circle she ran with, were out of town transplants, who, since they were brought in by the same outside firm, also had pre-established connections to one-another. So this was not even a typical disorganized wave of new people entering the town, but a settler colony of people affiliated with the firm that had built the new factory. And being part of that first batch of new students, they were literally not part of the same community. The communities hadn't had time to integrate yet at that point, and if the town boomed in size due to secondary industry after that, they would integrate because the building of seperate high schools and seperate churches and seperate stores would see the newcomers participating in seperate facets of public life.

[@meghaffer]

Story 1: while I agree that OP should proceed with caution, I'm glad she handled it the way she did. Two things stand out to me. First is that they're young and in college. It's a time when people do change and see that they can't continue to act like they did as children and that real life actions have real life consequences. Josh got a taste of that. Second, she briefly mentioned that he's Christian. While we don't know which flavor of Christianity he is from, I do know that in many American churches women are commodified and people feel very free to comment on their bodies and their choices. Beyond that, there is no such thing as boundaries in many of these spaces. If that's what Josh came out of, he has a lot of learning to do about how the rest of the world works. OP doesn't need to be the one teaching him if she doesn't want to, but it sure would explain his behavior. And hopefully he'll see that he can't act like that anymore if he wants to live outside of that church bubble.

[@heymikey4025]

Anybody notice in story01 that Josh gave a non-apology of “I’m sorry you feel/felt that way”? Story01 OP is wearing extra strength rose colored glasses, so all the red flags she’s seeing just look like pretty flags… Also she is WAY TOO attached to someone that she met barely more than 1/2 year ago!

[@rachelwitherspoon4394]

As a loner in school, had few friends, but I had my life outside school that I cared so much more about. Popular Kids was synonymous with Bullies, nerds like me were few and far between(read non existent ) in my town, never knew the name of any footballers or cheerleaders, other than "Stay outta their way", lol. Wish Id had a pack of nerds to focus with,lol.

[@wildfyah]

Be mindful of people who engage you after a breakup, you're at your most vulnerable and some people slink in to take advantage of that

[@lkuhhdsfgasdgvdadfg]

"It dosen't matter that is correct" lolololol the ONLY THING that matters is that it's correct...

[@faeb.9618]

i was a highschool """nerd""" and i didn't even know if we had any popular kids at all. we might not even actually had anyone really considered popular? or i might not have noticed. no one cares after highschool

[@Mglay556]

Story 1: I did the same thing at 21 with a group of friends. At the age of 25 they kept pulling the same crap. That’s when I finally dropped them. 32 year old me would have just laughed called him and ass and blocked him