• IVF • How I really feel about having a DONOR EGG baby • RAW FEELINGS •

[@nydiatuy195]

I truly appreciate you! I'm 41 and almost 38 weeks with my IVF Donor egg baby. And I'm scared that I won't have that bond and to see you express the bond you felt after delivering her really helps me. I'm also having a girl and looking forward to meeting her. Sincerely Thank You!

[@Ameliarv]

Aww bless your heart it’s a rollercoaster of emotions isn’t it. I promise you you’ll think differently when she’s here! All the best lovely xxxxx

[@mgm579]

Congrats! Please share on how you feel now? Are you bonding with her and loving her as your own?

[@anu-vx4pi]

I have a baby boy through de.He is 3 years old. I always think he does not have my DNA.please help me.

[@MsLouisez]

Just want to say - you are amazing and strong for speaking out (and I hope it was therapeutic as well). I am at the start of the birdge, I never thoght i could go down the egg donor path. But after failed IVF and much grieving the feeling of acceptance comes around. Stories like yours really help, just wanted to let you nnow that.

[@Harvestmouse]

Such a brave and honest mindset to have. You gave life to Matilda, are with her every step of the way and you are each other’s everything. You can see that you both have an incredible bond, she adores you and you adore her ❤️

[@Ameliarv]

Thank you so much for your lovely comment, it really means a lot to me to hear that. I love her more than the world. xox

[@rpark4630]

Thank you so much for making this video. You gave voice to my many fears and insecurities. As loving and supportive as my husband is, I agree that there is a fundamental difference in his relationship to the baby, so it's hard for me to feel that he truly understands. Your words have been so helpful. Thank you.

[@Ameliarv]

Hello, many thanks for your lovely message, and i am glad you could relate to my video and the things i was saying. I hope you are well, and that your feeling a little better about your situation. lots of love xxx

[@ElizabethJohn3]

Thank you for your bravery and honesty to share your story. It is helping me to go through the emotions of starting this journey. It is wonderful to know and see the loving bond you have between you and your child. Thank you.

[@Ameliarv]

Hello lovely, thank you for your comment, and I wish you all the best in your journey. Go with your feelings and always remember why you’re doing it. Lots of love xx

[@MsChitterchat]

You are absolutely lovely. Matilda is a very fortunate child to have been made by you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience. Wish you and your family all the best

[@Ameliarv]

Thank you so so much, you’re comment is very appreciated. It’s lovely to hear positivity. Thank you xxx

[@cmaemae9433]

Thank you for this, we are considering this after 3 failed IVF cycles and I have all the same fears you talked about. It is nice to hear such an honest experience. Would love to hear an update how your family is doing now.

[@FifiNat-d3t]

Congrats on your baby girl and the strength you have had to go on this journey!! I’ve had a similar journey and now have a beautiful baby girl through IVF DE. Just wanted to add if it helps at all, I think of myself as her biological Mom as I gave birth to her and the genetic side of it as the donor, genetic background 😁 really helpful to hear I’m not alone!!❤

[@daisy1260]

Thank you for making this video. I selfishly don’t want to use my husbands sperm and an egg donor. He wants that. I’m so torn up about it! You’re so right… it’s hard to talk to anyone that doesn’t truly get it.

[@rheajoy4039]

The thought of loving my husband so much that I would love to carry a mini-him helps me so much. I think he is an amazing person with so many good qualities. It gives me a sense of control to think that his genes will play a role too. Hope this helps! Wish you all the best!

[@klynn1305]

Thank you! I’m going for Donor IVF I have POF🤞🏼.Congratulations!

[@Ameliarv]

Good luck lovely, thank you so much for the comment & Hope everything went well. xxx

[@deefong1]

Thank you for sharing your experience. It’s a lovely story 💕

[@Ameliarv]

Thank you very much for your comment, i appreciate it and happy you enjoyed hearing about my experience. x

[@Reni8705]

Thank you for an amazing video 🥰I am currently 9weeks with DE. I am having the same feelings like you had. I am worrying the most about how they will feel about me when growing older. I am afraid;they will tell me “ you are not my real mom” when we arguing. Have a nice day, happy new year:) ❤️

[@Ameliarv]

Your welcome, thank you for reaching out and glad my video could be of some help to you. Bless your heart, it’s a difficult situation but I can assure you, all will work out in the end. I hope your pregnancy goes smoothly xxxx

[@kateyaya]

Thank you for this video this really helps

[@cb6812]

Thank you for sharing your experience.

[@Ameliarv]

Many thanks for watching. xx

[@ConghuiSun]

Thanks for sharing the story, it's really inspiring.

[@Ameliarv]

My pleasure! X

[@pce12345]

Thank you so much for sharing your story 🤗💕

[@ZaraBizara]

This is so depressing and I feel sad for you and also people like us/myself. I'm so sorry you are going through this. It's so weird to me the way they use the language of "donor eggs/embryos" almost like it's interchangeable for my eggs/embryos like it's almost the same thing when it absolutely is not. There's someone else's offspring, and there's my offspring. And those are not interchangeable things. And I think the trouble with the wording is it makes those of us who know and feel that it is not an option for us almost feel like we are bad for refusing it. What's even worse is, before even finding out what someone is willing or not willing to do, they'll use wording like "Are you not there yet?" or "Are you not ready for that yet?" Like they are sneakily inserting in a mandatory "option" on your behalf. And then they further gaslight us with the epigenetics BS. It's like, when people are trying to convince you to do "donor eggs" they say what really matters is growing the baby inside of you because then it's more like you in many ways than the parent of origin. But then why don't they say that when someone needs a surrogate? When you pay someone to carry your baby because you cannot carry do people consider the baby to be more like the surrogate and closer to the surrogate? Of course not. I would be crushed if I couldn't carry and needed a surrogate but I would still consider that baby mine while I would not consider a donor egg baby that I carried mine. As an anthropologist I will tell you that science shows that genetics actually influence people in so many ways far more than environment does. That's why we do studies on twins separated at birth because we can see how similar they are in so many ways. And how they always feel something is missing. Such a deluding, messed up situation. Even just recently a friend of mine was sharing her anxiety now that she has an Ancestry account that her dozens of children one day might find her on there to have a relationship with their mother. She donated eggs about 15 years ago and this anxiety has crept up because even though she's an egg donor she still knows there's a connection there no matter what. I think adopting a kid would almost be less painful than adopting an egg/embryo because when you do carry that baby even though that baby is not your true offspring, your body releases hormones and is tricked into believing it truly is 100% yours and you bond. And it's that much more painful when you see it become like the parent of origin or even worse, seek out the parent of origin down the line. I don't want a half him half her baby, I want our baby. :(

[@Autumn-g8h]

I think Adoption is easier and also a good option for those women who are unable to have their own children.

[@ZaraBizara]

@@Autumn-g8h and it's literally the same thing. The only difference between adoption and a donor egg baby is that you are a surrogate for the baby you are adopting.

[@ZaraBizara]

@@Autumn-g8h and it's literally the same thing as donor! the only difference is you are gestationally carrying the baby you are adopting to pretend it was your own...? makes no sense.

[@miladeb]

thank you for reassurance.im 30weeks pregnant atm(we used donor eggs) and share some of those fears etc

[@Ameliarv]

Hello lovely, thank you very much for your comment, congratulations on the pregnancy, i hope you're doing well. I think it must be quite common for these feelings as a few of us have felt this way, i hope that you are feeling a little more settled about it now. I can tell you now, 2 years on the worries i expressed in this video are very minor now which is amazing. Keep on going, you're doing great, you're feelings are valid, just ride with it. xxx

[@breeancarter2171]

Thank you for this!

[@Autumn-g8h]

Adoption will be easier because both the situation you have to tell the baby when he reaches 18 that you're not the biological mother and they will start searching for the egg donor. So carrying other woman's baby is a bad choice.

[@MsKierralabrea]

Thank you for sharing your story! If you don't mind sharing, exactly how are you telling her you aren't her biological mother?

[@Ameliarv]

Hello, thank you very much for your comment i appreciate it. I am doing it a kind and gentle way, i just say that a lovely kind lady gave mummy and daddy a present that was a egg. Ive got some books as well which we will start to read soon. xx

[@hlongshlongs8729]

Thank you for this video and answering this question. I and my hubby talking about donor egg. My worry is what if I don’t bond with the baby and what if I lose her when she/ he older knowing I’m not the bio mom. I know I sound selfish and I keep trying to stop my self. I want to come to terms with it.

[@shruthihv2919]

Thank you

[@payasamartinez8167]

Hey just wanted to say I loved this video it was super helpful for me but I just wanted to let you know you are the biological mother .the word your looking for is genetic mother .

[@edinamuchinyu241]

So brave